Second Time Through Book IChapter 32 Sarah Debbie
- 4 years ago
- 14
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November 1980, Milford, Ohio
I woke up with my alarm on Saturday, extremely tired, but in a far better mental state. I met Stephanie in the pool and she easily lapped me several times. I was sore and exhausted from the previous night’s swim, but I struggled through my usual 50 laps. When we finished, I took a long, hot shower before meeting Stephanie for breakfast.
“Are you going to take my advice, Big Brother?”
“Well, I’m going to talk to Bethany for sure. I’ll call her at 9:00am and ask her to come over. Hopefully she will.”
“She will. She loves you, Steve. That’s why she said what she did.”
“How did you get to be so smart, Squirt?” I said softly, without sarcasm, but with a moment of wonder at having this particular smart and beautiful girl as my sister.
“It’s a girl thing. We’re way smarter than you boys. You think way too much with your dicks and not enough with your brains,” she replied, giggling with a big smile.
“And girls don’t think with their pussies?”
“Oh, some do. Your friend Cindy, for example. But even then, she’s still smarter than the boys she fucks.”
“So I’m not the only fucking idiot, then?”
“No, but you’re MY fucking idiot, Big Brother. I’m stuck with you.”
“Yes, you are! And don’t you forget it!” I said, faking a very serious look.
“I won’t let YOU forget it, you mean!” She laughed.
We finished breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen just as Mom and Jeff came in. We left them and went to my room.
“Now, there’s a perfect example of how to get Mom’s approval. Kiss her ass every second of the day and make sure she doesn’t know that you’re the REAL pervert,” Stephanie said under her breath.
“No thanks, Squirt. I’d rather die.”
“Me too!”
I let Stephanie read my journal while I hunted for some bugs in one of the programs that we had recently written for Doctor Grossi. Somehow, the program was mixing up appointment dates for a specific kind of procedure. It didn’t make much sense, but I knew I’d find it, eventually. It actually took me until about 9:20am, but I found the silly mistake and fixed it. I’d give an updated disk to Doctor Grossi at Don Joseph’s house the next day.
I dialed Bethany’s number and when her mom answered, she didn’t sound like she was aware there was a problem. She called Bethany to the phone.
“Hi, Sweetheart.”
“Hi, Steve, but you shouldn’t call me that now,” she replied evenly.
I didn’t say the first thing that popped into my mind, which was a good thing. Calling my friend a bitch probably wouldn’t help. In fact, I was sure it wouldn’t.
“We need to talk Bethany, would you mind coming over?”
“I told you what you needed to do before we talked about us.”
“I know. Please, for the sake of our friendship, just come over.”
She paused, but replied, “OK.”
Bethany arrived about fifteen minutes later. We walked down the hall to my room, where she saw Stephanie sitting smugly in one of my beanbag chairs.
“I should have known,” Bethany laughed.
“He’s a fucking idiot Bethany, but he’s OUR fucking idiot. And he does listen. He just needs to be hit repeatedly with a clue stick. He’s not quite as dumb as most boys,” Stephanie said mirthfully.
“Steve, does this mean you agree with me?” Bethany asked hopefully.
“More or less. I realized that when I talk to my mom, I’m trying to convince her to see me as I see myself and as other adults see me. I think that you saying I wanted her approval is what set me off. Talking with Stephanie made me realize that it’s not approval that I’m looking for, because I don’t care if she approves, it’s acceptance of who I am, and what I do. Jennifer’s parents didn’t approve of us having sex, but they accepted us for who we were and what we wanted to do together. The same is true for she who must not be named’s parents,” I said.
Stephanie and Bethany did a quick look at each other and doubled over in laughter at that.
“Well, you did tell me you didn’t want to talk about her anymore!” I said, self-righteously.
“True,” Bethany said through fits of laughter.
I waited for them to stop laughing before I continued.
“Stephanie got it through my thick skull that when I argue with my mom, it’s because I’m trying to convince her to see things my way, even though she never will. She pointed out that when I do anything, my first concern is how my mom will react. Sometimes it’s conscious, but most of the time it’s subconscious,” I said.
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to start seeing Doctor Mercer again. I’ll call her office on Monday from school. Also, I’m going to put most of my relationships on hold for a few months. And I’m going to work with you to fix ours.”
“Most of your relationships?”
“Stephanie had an idea, but first I need to ask you something, Sweetheart.”
Bethany smiled, “Yes, Steve?”
“When you and I spoke last night, I got the idea that you wanted to just be friends until I worked through these problems. Is that right?”
“Wanted? No. But I thought it was necessary. I still do.”
“I don’t disagree. Stephanie’s idea was that I put all my serious relationships on hold for a few months and just date Debbie V.”
“What?!” Bethany asked, sounding surprised and looking at Stephanie.
Stephanie leaned towards her and answered, “Bethany, Debbie V isn’t a threat to you or anyone. He loves her, as a friend, but she’s not the one he’ll marry. On the other hand, she is the one person he has never, ever had any drama with and never has had even a spat with. She accepts him for who he is and what he is and isn’t worried about the future. I think the stability of that relationship will help him immensely. And if you just want to be friends for a time, well, then it’s even better.”
“What about Katt?” Bethany asked.
“He promised to see her at Thanksgiving and at Christmas,” Stephanie said. “Katt’s probably the safest fuck he can have. He’s never thought of a future with her and even though she might talk about it, her skating is too important to take a back seat to a dumb boy!”
“You mean a fucking idiot, don’t you, Stephanie?” Bethany giggled, “Wasn’t Katt the one who came up with that?”
“True. But if Debbie agrees, my Big Brother will have a nice, calm few months to get his shit together.”
“That actually sounds like a good plan. I assume Joyce and Elyse will be OK with it, Steve?”
“I think so,” I said. “After all, December is super busy, so I’ll just tell them we’ll talk after New Year’s Day. I can tell Don Joseph that I’m busy in December so that will push seeing Joyce at his house until mid to late January.”
“What do you plan to tell Kara when she makes her request?” Bethany asked with a smirk.
“That’s a tougher question. The best thing to do is delay, if I can. It might be a good idea to go to her church youth group with her a few times. That was her idea, actually, and I can use it to put things off a bit. I really do want to see if she’s telling the truth about the kids in her church. She’ll get her kiss, but anything else has to wait.”
“That’s actually a good idea. It’ll help you decide what to do,” Bethany said.
“Oh come off it, Bethany,” Stephanie said, “he’s already decided. He wants to fuck that super-hot girl. The best-looking girl in the whole High School! You know it. I know it. More importantly, Miss ‘Soon to be former virginal Holy Roller’, Kara, knows it. That’s what she wants. It’s pretty damn clear, though I suppose she could change her mind.”
“I agree,” Bethany said. “Putting it off until sometime after Christmas is a good idea.”
“My only question is,” I said, “will Debbie accept a short-term dating relationship? What’s in it for her? She has this guy Phillip she’s gone out with a few times.”
“Ask her. That’s all you can do,” Stephanie said. “Tell her exactly what you want and need. I bet she agrees. She’s not exclusive with Phillip, so I don’t see why she would say no.”
“OK. I’m going to Joyce’s house for dinner. It’s a bit late to cancel, but I’ll call Elyse and talk to her,” I said, feeling more comfortable with the plan we were making together. “What do I tell Jennifer?”
“That you and Debbie are dating; that you and Bethany are taking a break while you work out your issues. In other words, the truth, Big Brother,” Stephanie said sternly.
“Yeah. I owe her that, don’t I?”
“Yes. I bet she’ll agree with us. I know Melanie would.”
“Yes, yes, all the girls are ganging up on me!”
“We know what’s good for you!” Bethany said. “We may be in competition for you, but none of us are going to steer you wrong on important issues. And besides, your little sister is the one you listen to. I guess it’s always been that way.”
“Jennifer would agree with you, Sweetheart.”
“You should probably stop calling me that until we get back together.”
“Yes, Dear,” I deadpanned.
I took my two girls to lunch at the deli and had a brief chat with Andreas. When we came home, Bethany and I hugged and she kissed me on the cheek and headed home. I went inside to call Elyse. True to what Stephanie and Bethany had predicted, Elyse said she understood that I would be busy, and that I should call her a few times in December to keep in touch. I agreed, seeing as it would be difficult to say no to that.
I dialed Katt’s number and spoke to Inger to confirm my plans. She gave me all the hotel details again, and we agreed that I’d see them on the Friday after Thanksgiving in Indianapolis. She told me Katt was really looking forward to seeing me. I said I was looking forward to seeing all of them.
I spent the afternoon re-writing another of the veterinary programs to try to fix some strange issues with the data display on the screen. It took a few hours, but I worked out a nice solution. I made the disk to take with me on Sunday. I gave Beth a quick call and told her about the program fixes and that I’d show her next time we got together. Around 4:00pm I showered and dressed to head to Joyce’s house. I made the drive to Loveland and arrived about five minutes before 5:00pm.
Joyce opened the door and gave me a big hug and a soft French kiss at the door. I hugged and kissed her back, not wanting to create a scene. There would be plenty of time to talk to her later. My main fear with Joyce was that a refusal to ask her for sex would lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship. I hoped that wasn’t the case.
As usual, dinner was fantastic, and I ate more than I should have. Connie behaved fairly well, though she did make eyes at me a few times. I just averted my gaze when she did that. It was hard to believe that after two years, she still had a thing for me. It didn’t matter because I had no intention of pursuing anything with Connie.
After dinner and dessert, I suggested to Joyce that we go for a walk. We put on our jackets and walked outside. The temperature was right around 40°F, but it had rained a bit that day and the wind was blowing. Joyce put on a knit cap and, of course, I had on my fedora. I took her hand, and we walked down the street.
“Joyce, I’ve thought a lot about what you said the other night. I think we need to wait.”
“I had a feeling you’d say that. I’d like to know your thinking.”
“First of all, I would like nothing more than for you to take me somewhere and fuck my brains out. It’s so tempting. But if we do that, if we go back to a sexual relationship without sorting things out, it’ll end just like it did last time. We’ll enjoy the sex, but something will be missing, and we’ll both end up regretting that we didn’t wait.
“That does assume that you think we might have some kind of future. If you don’t, and you don’t care, and you just want to go somewhere and fuck, agreeing that we’ll never be together, that’s a different story. But that’s not you, Joyce. It’s never been casual with you. Unless we agree that there is no future under any circumstances, there can’t be no-strings-attached sex between us.”
“You’re right,” Joyce said. “I’m not willing to throw away the chance that we could be together just for a fuck, no matter how tempting it is.”
“We both think the time will come when it will be the right thing to do,” I said. “But now is not the time. I need to get my own shit together and resolve some long-standing issues that I have. I think once I do that, I’ll be able to rationally discuss our future. I don’t know how long it’s going to take for sure, but probably a few months.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to see me during that time?” she asked with some worry.
“Well, most of that time is December, and I’ll be super busy. After tomorrow, I probably won’t even make your grandfather’s house until January. We can talk, but it’ll probably be after New Year’s when I’m in a better position to discuss things. Can we just agree that after tomorrow, we’ll talk again in January? I’m not trying to blow you off, I’m just trying to really get my shit together.”
“I guess so. I’d prefer to see you again, but if this is what you need, then yes, I’ll agree,” she said sadly. “Will you do one thing for me?”
“Sure, what is it?”
“Kiss me! I mean, a really good kiss. And you have to give me one tomorrow at grandfather’s house, too!”
“You bet!” I said, pulling her into a tight embrace.
Our lips touched softly and then parted, our tongues seeking each other. We kissed for several minutes, assuring each other that there was still a lot of love between us, until, reluctantly, I released her.
“Thanks,” she whispered.
We walked back to her house and spent the rest of the evening with her parents, just talking and drinking hot chocolate. When it was time to leave, Joyce gave me a deep kiss, and we said our goodbyes.
When I arrived home, I went to find Dad to remind him about Thanksgiving. I had put it on the calendar I kept for him in his office, but I figured I should give him all the details. He reminded me that Mom was not going to be happy about it. I told him I was fully aware of that, but Katt and I were very good friends and I wanted to see her compete. I also double-checked about Christmas, because I’d be going on the German Club ski trip and then to Columbus to see Katt compete. I had an idea.
“Dad, if Pete and Melanie come to Columbus to see the ice dancing competition, could Stephanie come with them? It would just be for a day. They would drive up for the final, then come back.”
“Your mom won’t approve, Son.”
“I’m not asking her. I want Stephanie to meet Katt and her family. It might be the only chance Stephanie would have to meet any of my Swedish friends. I know Mom doesn’t like Melanie, but then again, Mom doesn’t like any of my friends, except perhaps Larry. She positively hates Jennifer and Bethany.”
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January 17, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “What time do you have to leave this morning?” Kara asked as we showered together on Tuesday morning. “About 8:30am,” I said. “I’m driving over to get Jeri, then heading to O’Hare. We have an 11:00am flight. Assuming all goes well, we’ll be in the office by 3:00pm Pacific time. We’ll spend a couple hours going over the software then go to dinner. The demo is tomorrow. Our flight back on Thursday leaves LA at 11:00am, so we’ll be home by 8:00pm, I...
June 1977 Friday ended up being a non-event. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure that there was no way on this earth I could say what happened between Birgit and me was a sin. Calling it a sin would debase it into a meaningless act. I could never do that. And the more I thought about Jennie McGrath, the more sure I was that I couldn’t call what she did for me a sin, either. If the church was right, I was going to hell. And frankly, there was no way that could be true. So I...
July 22, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Albert, do you have everything packed?” Mom asked. “Yes, Mom!” I replied, rolling my eyes because she’d asked before I went to bed. “He’ll be fine, Babe,” Dad said. “Let’s walk to the hospital.” I usually didn’t get up early, but Dad had suggested it would help Mom if I walked to the hospital with her because I was leaving to see Jane for three weeks. Mom, Dad, Aunt Kara and I left the house and headed down the sidewalk towards the hospital where Mom and...
May 14, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “Start talking!” Melanie demanded when I sat down in her office about an hour later. “There isn’t much to say. Katya found the information for me when I asked her to look into several things about Brandon Littleton, Kevin Lomax, and John Milton.” “Do you know more about him?” “A LOT more. I don’t think you want to know.” “Probably not, but I’m your criminal defense attorney, and even though San Antonio doesn’t have you involved in this, you know the CPD...
“So, how should we do these Stone’s songs?” Phil asked at our rehearsal session. “I think we all know the music, we just need to come up with a pretty awesome arrangement; we don’t want to sound like yet another cheap cover band.” “I had some ideas, if it’s okay for me to make some suggestions,” Allison said. “Of course it is,” Phil said. “Everyone can have a say, there’s no rule that says you can’t participate in the discussion.” “Thanks, Phil, I guess being the newest here, I’m a bit...
May 11, 1992, Chicago, Illinois Monday was turning out to be a LONG day. After my run and talk with Gina, and my talk with Elyse, I had a full day at the office scheduled. First was our leadership meeting in the morning, and then I had status meetings with each team. At lunch I’d gone to see Siobhán and explained that I was going to break off the sexual relationship, but that I wanted to remain friends. She was disappointed, but admitted that Thursday would have been the last time, since she...
January 19, 1989, En-Route from LAX to ORD When the engines of the plane started, Jeri reached over and took my hand. She held it while we pushed away from the gate, and taxied for takeoff. Her grip tightened a bit as we hurtled down the runway, but nothing like the death grip she’d had on my arm for the flight out. The plane roared its way into the air and once we leveled out, Jeri’s grip loosened but she didn’t let go of my hand. “How are you doing?” I asked with a touch of...
September 1982, Chicago, Illinois The weekend was quiet and besides homework, I worked on the program changes for Frank, called Karin, Tatyana, and Kara, and hung out with my usual study group. Monday was refreshingly normal. On Tuesday morning, I handed Katy my completed intake form. She put it in an envelope and stuck it in her bag. She said she’d let me know soon about the interview. On Tuesday afternoon, after having lunch with Stephie, I made my rounds and then I headed over to Sigma...
October 1982, Chicago, Illinois The drive back to Chicago was as uneventful as usual, and I arrived at the apartment just before 6:00pm. When I arrived, Elyse and Stephie were sitting on the couch and Jackie was sitting on the loveseat. Stephie hopped up as I opened the door and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. “Hi, Peaches!” I said. “Glad you’re home, Yankee!” “Hi, Steve,” Elyse and Jackie both said. “Hey,” I replied. “How was the weekend?” “Well, it was just Kurt with me, Stephie,...
June 11, 1989, Chicago, Illinois It was just after 3:00am when I kissed Trish goodbye. She’d been an enthusiastic, energetic, and adventurous lover. We’d done just about anything either of us could think of, though her breasts weren’t large enough for a tit-fuck. The last time had been in the shower where we’d ostensibly gone to clean up afterwards, but instead I ended up taking her from behind as she leaned against the wall of the shower. “I think I’ll have you again, Steve Adams,” she...
May 1978 The first couple of weeks in May were busy with school, work, and friends. Except for Becky, I didn’t even have any dates. But I was OK with that. Well, almost OK. I wanted to see Anna, but it likely wasn’t going to happen until school was out. I had tutoring sessions with Melanie, but she still wouldn’t talk to me about anything other than Spanish. Barely a hello. I was grateful for the tutoring, but it was maddening seeing my friend this way. I hoped someday she could understand...
March, 1982, Milford, Ohio As I drove along I-65, I thought about what Stephanie had asked for and what Bethany had said without even knowing about the request. Of course, because Bethany and I were so in tune, she might have actually had an idea that I was struggling with getting involved with my sister again. I kept turning it over and over in my mind and I kept coming to the same conclusion — that I shouldn’t do it. I was torn between doing what Stephanie wanted and doing what Kara and...
September 7, 1992, Chicago, Illinois “That went reasonably well,” Michelle said when her parents drove off. “There were a few times I thought my expression would give away something I shouldn’t. You were messing with me, weren’t you?” She grabbed both my hands and smiled, “I was telling the truth, in my own way. Thank you!” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “So, what’s left?” I asked. “To visit UofC tomorrow and formally withdraw from classes. To spend some time with you and your...
October 1981, Chicago, Illinois I arrived back at the apartment just before 10:00pm and saw the address for the party. I decided I wasn’t particularly interested in going so I put on some music, poured myself a glass of wine, and started reading more about Russia. I was alternating between the history and culture book and the Communist Party book, decided on the history and culture book for this time. I didn’t get much reading done because I was thinking about Tatyana, which led me to...
January 23, 1996, Chicago, Illinois “Father, bless!” I said, greeting Father Basil with upturned palms. “Bless you, Stephen,” he said as I kissed his hand. The waiter showed us to a quiet table along the wall of Roditys in Greektown. He took our drink orders and was back quickly. We placed our food orders right away and he left to put them in with the kitchen. “I’m not quite sure how to address this, so I’m just going to ask you bluntly. Are you the father of Michelle’s baby?” I shook my...
June 29, 1995, Chicago, Illinois On Thursday, I finally had lunch with Melissa again, something I hadn’t been looking forward to. Much like with Cèlia, Melissa and I had passed an inflection point and I was left with sub-optimal paths forward. I’d been struggling with the possible solutions, and all of them had pitfalls. When I walked into Takumi, I had something of a plan. Whether it was good or not would only be known once everything played out. “I spoke to my wives,” I said after we’d...
December 5, 2000, Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minnesota “I had a good time last night,” I said. “I was surprised you invited a friend!” Mary laughed as we walked into the exam room, “Naomi had a good time as well. You know what a Resident’s life is like.” I nodded, “No social life.” “Exactly. You guys seemed to hit it off pretty well.” “Yes, but I’m not here for that!” “You’re everywhere for that, and you know it!” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Let’s just say that you hit the sweet spot -...
March 1980, Hovås/Göteborg, Sweden I woke early as usual, but just enjoyed being in bed with Katt. When she woke, she hopped out of bed and pulled a robe out of her closet and handed it to me. “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom. Go have your shower, then we’ll have breakfast after I have my shower.” I quickly showered and brushed my teeth, and went back to Katt’s room. She went to shower and came back a few minutes later. She dressed, and I got a very good look at her sexy body...
April 5, 1997, Chicago, Illinois “You missed cuddles this morning!” Birgit said accusingly when I walked into the house about 9:30am. “I know, Pumpkin, but I had a work emergency and had to go see Aunt Joyce and Grandpa A.” “And now we have to get ready for karate!” “I know. We’ll have some family time this afternoon. I don’t have any plans.” “Good!” I hugged her and the rest of the kids, then went to find Kara. We hugged and kissed, and went straight upstairs to get ready for...
September 3, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Good morning, Sensei,” I said, bowing to Sensei Jim. “Good morning!” he said waving me to a chair in his office. “How was your trip?” I asked. “Enlightening. I spent most of my time acting as a manservant to Sensei Robert and Sensei Hiro.” “He who will lead, must first serve,” I said. “Someday, I’m going to send you to Sensei Hiro, should he live long enough. You understand.” “Does that mean you are now 6th Dan?” I...
October 29, 2000, Chicago, Illinois Birgit followed me as far as the stairs, then scooted upstairs when I went to the front door and opened it. “Hi!” Sophie said. “Hi!” I replied and held the door open so she could come into the house. I closed the door behind her then led her to my study where I waited until she went in, and then walked in, closing the door behind me. I nodded to one of the wingback chairs, she sat down in one, and I sat down in the other. “Is something wrong?” she...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois I walked in the near 90°F heat to Carla’s place. I was grateful that the humidity of the morning had dropped significantly; otherwise the heat would have been unbearable. By the time I walked up the steps to the apartment over the photography studio and knocked on her door, I had broken into a light sweat. Carla answered almost immediately and invited me inside her studio apartment. The air was moderately cool, and the window air conditioner was running full...
July 1982, Milford, Ohio On Tuesday morning, I kissed Kara goodbye and headed to my parents’ house for my usual morning routine with my little sister. She was happy that I could spend the morning with her and asked to take a walk, so we weren’t in the house with my mom. “Let me guess — this walk will end in the clearing,” I said with a smile. “Yes,” she said, taking my hand as we walked down Overlook towards Klondyke. As usual, we turned around and walked back, taking the path to the...
March 13, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “Hi, Steve!” Ailea said when she opened the door. “Hi,” I replied, accepting the offered hug. There was no touching of lips, just of cheeks, and I wondered if I’d misread her intentions at her birthday lunch, or if, perhaps, she detected my reluctance to return the offered affection. “Lunch is ready, so go ahead and sit. I’ll bring it in from the kitchen.” I went to the low table, sat down, and a minute later, Ailea brought miso soup and sushi, our usual...
April 3, 1997, Dallas, Texas “Remember what I said about drinking too much,” I said, as I poured bourbon into three cups. We’d stopped at a liquor store, bought a bottle of Blanton’s, and then returned to the small suite I’d reserved at the Westin. Deborah’s room was down the hall, and Krissy’s was two floors below. Krissy’s comment had caught me a bit off guard, but I hadn’t reacted visibly. I didn’t know her quite well enough to know if she’d been teasing with Deborah, so I was being...