The Falling Oak - Learning How To DieChapter 24: That Was Scary free porn video

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Nov. 27th, 2018

Today, Aphasia kicked in so I FMLA’d and took a nap. When I woke up my right side from my face to my toes was numbish. I flipped. The only thing I could think was stroke. The only other thought I could think was “please let me die”, over and over again. I can’t manage if I lose the use of half my body on top of my other issues. I could still move, but I didn’t try to get my wife’s attention. She was in the other room. I was scared stupid, but If I was having a stroke I’d rather it kill me than adding another level of disability. I don’t want a life as a vegetable in a home.

On the Night Of Hell they thought I was having a stroke and gave me a shot that they charged me personally, not the insurance company because I don’t have any, me personally over $98,000 dollars for. That’s just for the medicine in the syringe. Not giving the shot, nothing else. I still owe $40,000 on that shot. A charity picked up the rest. I can’t add more medical bills to my family when I have no way to pay them and have no honest expectations of being around long enough to figure a way of doing it. I hope to be here, but I won’t swear to it like I would have prior to the NOH.

As I said, I was terrified and didn’t have anyone to turn to. It sucks to be in that situation and to be alone. Since I had resigned myself to my fate I decided to call upon Hel. Hel is the Norse Goddess of Death and the Underworld. She’s the daughter of Loki. I’ve always had respect for her since I learned that in the Eddas Odin had high praise for her respectfulness and character. It was he who gave her the Underworld. She is one of the three Goddess’s I venerate. They are: Freyja, sweet Sunna, and Hel.

I began singing under my breath a shamanic spirit calling song that I adapted to her in her honor. I started calming down but nothing happened other than that. I realized this wasn’t going anywhere quick. I did notice the feeling was starting to return to my right side. I just lay there for another half hour or so. When it became obvious that the majority of the feeling was returning I was relieved. I can deal with a little numbness and I’m hoping it goes away.

As I laid there, once I calmed down I realized I was rude. One does not summon a Goddess. One definitely does not use a shamanic spirit calling song used to call animal spirits to summon a Goddess. Also, one does not do the above to a Norse Goddess because one is afraid. I.E. I made an ass of myself. So I prayed and apologized and explained the situation and promised I would burn a candle in her honor which I did as soon as I was able to get out of bed.

I didn’t go back to work as I wasn’t sure what would happen if I started stressing again. So that was my afternoon.

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03.08.2020
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Sept. 29th, 2018 Things have been interesting around here the last little while. I have a brand new grandson! Yay! His middle name is his other grandfather’s and mine first names. That’s awesome. I’ve never had someone named after me before. My dog gave me poison ivy so I haven’t held him yet. That will be remedied in a few days. Through the good graces of one of our friends here a backup system has been put in place so if/when my mind slips off the rails my family will receive a copy of...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 26 Intermission

Dec. 5th, 2018 I’m still trying to wrap my mind around everything. The fact that I’m being taken off one medication while being put on another is also messing with me. I don’t feel unsettled so much as flat. It feels as though my emotions are in a very narrow range. The meds must be some pretty strong beta blockers because my sex drive is almost non existent on one level. That’s the whole problem right there. A levels thing. On one level I don’t have a sex drive or feel the migraine, but on...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 9 I Misplaced My Left Hand

I love CBD! I haven’t had to take a single extra Naproxen for pain since I started it. I still take the other sedatives and such but this is the most pain free I have been in over a year!!! At times, my mind is quiet and I can think a little. I was able to do part of a multiplication problem in my head a couple of days ago. It doesn’t sound like much and it isn’t, but it’s more than I have been able to do for a year. CBD doesn’t fix anything but it sure does make the quality of my life...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 31 Christmas

Dec .26th, 2018 I hope everyone’s Christmas was good. Mine was good. I ended up at Christmas Sunday church. My wife wanted to go so we went. I had to go outside during the music because even with earplugs it was still too loud. I sat in the very back so I wouldn’t cause a disturbance if the preaching got too loud. You know Holy Rollers, if it ain’t loud it ain’t sanctified, lol. The preaching was actually quiet. My wife picks my clothing for important occasions because she knows I don’t...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 70 Things Have Been Looking Up

Jan. 22nd, 2022 Hello Everyone, Things have been looking up for me. I had a checkup yesterday and my A1C (it’s derived from a test that is able to measure the trend amount of blood sugar for the last few months.) was 4.3! My last one was 5.3. The one given the day I was admitted to the hospital was over 15. My doc said I didn’t need insulin but is having me take 5 units twice a day to wean my system off of it. I started at 35 units twice a day. That’s a big difference. The doc even wants...

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