The Falling Oak - Learning How To DieChapter 40: You Can’t Turn Off A Disability free porn video

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March 16th, 2019

Hi Everyone,

I waited a little bit to update. In part, because I had a neurologist appointment and I wanted to see how that went. The appointment went swell. The docs were really excited about all of the progress I’ve made since my last visit. They were actually happy. I apologized to my main doc. I was in so much pain the last time I was there I showed my ass a bit more than I should. At one point, I was an absolute dick. The funny thing was I was trying to be nice at the time. I didn’t see until my mind cleared a week or so later how I had treated her. She was gracious about it.

They changed my med ratio which sent me to a small visit to la-la land. They decreased one med to help me start sweating and doubled another one to help me rest more. I haven’t started sweating yet, but I’m sleeping better. After I came back from la-la land that is. They also want me to start working with a speech therapist they had mentioned that before but I hadn’t followed up as 1. It doesn’t make sense to me. I know how to place my tongue and shape my lips. I can’t get my brain to send the damn signal. 2. I only have so much money to put toward co-pays and meds. 3. I only have one day a week to fit in my, my wifes and my kids, various appointments. I would like to enjoy some of my days off. I told her I’ll follow up this time and I will. She gave me my life back. I have no reason not to trust her.

She also said she thinks we can get to the point where I won’t need the shades and ear protection if we keep working on it. Yay on that! On the speech issue, she’s says at this point there’s at least two separate medical things going on. The migraine and something else and she’s not sure what the other thing is yet. Anxiety makes it worse as it feeds into the migraine. So she’s glad I’m seeing my therapist.

One thing that annoys the living piss out of me is when you have an invisible disability people think you can just switch it off when it’s inconvenient. I’m not missing an arm or leg and despite what you may think my face isn’t disfigured. I have a condition that effects how my brain works. I can’t turn it off because it makes you uncomfortable. I can’t turn it off period. So getting pissy with me doesn’t do anything but piss me off or raise my anxiety and makes it worse.

What’s really frustrating is arguing with someone and they’re talking and you’re using text to speech. Almost anyone can talk four times faster than I can type. Then the damn thing has to say it. I literally can’t get a word in edgewise. I get run over. OHHH! That torques my jaws. If you’re going to argue with a mute at least have the common decency to let them argue back.

It’s even worse when four or five hours later when I can talk if I broach the subject then I’M the one stirring shit. It makes me want to scream. If I walk out of the room then I’m an asshole who doesn’t care. So I get to play fucking speed bump. Don’t you think if someone was treating me like this and I could turn it off I would do it so I could show them how to properly tear someone a new asshole? I’m just venting a bit. It wasn’t that bad an argument. Seriously though, when arguing with somebody take their limitations into account. It’s not as fun but there’s a lot less hurt feelings that way.

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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 66

Jan .27th, 2021 Hello Everyone, I received notice that I had won my Soc. Security hearing. Yay! That takes a lot of stress off of my family and I. I will be getting back payments and regular monthly payments. So I feel good about winning, but a bit negative about what was in my therapist’s paperwork. According to her, I suffer from delusions of grandeur (She obviously doesn’t understand how important I am ;), paranoia, generalized anxiety disorder, an instant willingness to become...

2 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 4 Seizure

Sept. 17th 2018 I just left work because I am having seizures. I want you to see what it’s like. I was at my job for less than 2 hours. Now, it’s hard to think. My hands and arms jerk. I feel little because I’m not earning money for my wife and children. I’m afraid because the seizures are getting worse before they were just in my head. Now I shake. I work from home and had to dial a number to call in sick. I couldn’t remember how to find the number in my phone. I had to just sit there until...

3 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 25 EEG Results And More

Wednesday I had an appointment with my neurologist. I would have updated sooner, but to be honest I came home exhausted then I was balls to the wall (for me, anyway) the next day trying to get done the things they wanted done as well as little necessities like paying my mortgage. Today I was able to put in almost a full 8 hours before I had to pull the plug (I was scheduled for overtime). I am still rather trashed so I am reusing a modified summary of the doctor’s appointment that I emailed a...

2 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 43 Boy in the Bubble

April 14, 2019 Hello Everyone, Today was much more interesting than I intended it to be. My family went to a Renaissance Fair and I promptly locked my keys in the car. I was distracted as my wife and I were discussing the legality of where I was parking. So as they went and enjoyed the fair I was attempting to get into my car. First, I called my insurance company as I have a road side assistance policy. No dice, as they reimburse you later and I had eleven dollars in my pocket. Next, I...

2 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 18 Date Night

Nov. 9th 2018 Last night was date night with the missus. We had dinner at an Italian place as part of a club she’s a member of. It went pretty well. At one point, she laid her head on my shoulder which hasn’t happened for awhile. My Aphasia disappeared for awhile so I was able to talk with people. I was known for witty one liners and last night I was in full swing and kept my table laughing. It was nice. I started to get the shakes so I got to do the rocking thing. I swear I’m going to get a...

2 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 12 Test Day

Oct 24th, 2018 Today was the EEG test. I went to bed at 11:30 and got up at 4:00 a.m. The test required me to be tired. As I was trying to stay awake I surfed the net. I watched some porn. Guaranteed to keep the heart rate up lol as I wasn’t allowed to have caffeine. I’m old not dead. What was it Bocephus sang? “I like the sweet young thing with old Grand dad.” It’s fun to think about anyway. I spent some time looking at videos about living in nursing homes. I hate surprises. It went from...

4 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 37 The Flu And Other Goodies

Feb. 10th, 2019 Hi everybody, Things have been a little out of kilter here. When I offered to bring a note from my mental health care provider to my employer my schedule magically reverted to normal. Yay! It took a few days to get back into the groove and then the flu decided to come visit. My wife works with kids and one of my kids works fast food so it’s inevitable. I ended up with a stomach thing which made me feel like I was going to barf if I moved. That lasted about 24 hours then my...

2 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 6 A Little Wisdom

Sept. 29th, 2018 Things have been interesting around here the last little while. I have a brand new grandson! Yay! His middle name is his other grandfather’s and mine first names. That’s awesome. I’ve never had someone named after me before. My dog gave me poison ivy so I haven’t held him yet. That will be remedied in a few days. Through the good graces of one of our friends here a backup system has been put in place so if/when my mind slips off the rails my family will receive a copy of...

2 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 26 Intermission

Dec. 5th, 2018 I’m still trying to wrap my mind around everything. The fact that I’m being taken off one medication while being put on another is also messing with me. I don’t feel unsettled so much as flat. It feels as though my emotions are in a very narrow range. The meds must be some pretty strong beta blockers because my sex drive is almost non existent on one level. That’s the whole problem right there. A levels thing. On one level I don’t have a sex drive or feel the migraine, but on...

3 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 9 I Misplaced My Left Hand

I love CBD! I haven’t had to take a single extra Naproxen for pain since I started it. I still take the other sedatives and such but this is the most pain free I have been in over a year!!! At times, my mind is quiet and I can think a little. I was able to do part of a multiplication problem in my head a couple of days ago. It doesn’t sound like much and it isn’t, but it’s more than I have been able to do for a year. CBD doesn’t fix anything but it sure does make the quality of my life...

1 year ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 31 Christmas

Dec .26th, 2018 I hope everyone’s Christmas was good. Mine was good. I ended up at Christmas Sunday church. My wife wanted to go so we went. I had to go outside during the music because even with earplugs it was still too loud. I sat in the very back so I wouldn’t cause a disturbance if the preaching got too loud. You know Holy Rollers, if it ain’t loud it ain’t sanctified, lol. The preaching was actually quiet. My wife picks my clothing for important occasions because she knows I don’t...

3 years ago
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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 70 Things Have Been Looking Up

Jan. 22nd, 2022 Hello Everyone, Things have been looking up for me. I had a checkup yesterday and my A1C (it’s derived from a test that is able to measure the trend amount of blood sugar for the last few months.) was 4.3! My last one was 5.3. The one given the day I was admitted to the hospital was over 15. My doc said I didn’t need insulin but is having me take 5 units twice a day to wean my system off of it. I started at 35 units twice a day. That’s a big difference. The doc even wants...

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