The Falling Oak - Learning How To DieChapter 48: Always Faithful free porn video

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Hello Everyone,

I’ve resisted posting the last little while. At first, it was because I was trying to forget my illness and carry on my life as normal as I could make it.

Lately, it’s been because my illness hasn’t forgotten about me. It’s been very faithful. The bitch. My memory issues have gotten to the point I can’t hide them from my family any more. My wife spoke to my Doctor on the phone and the Doc spoke to me a bit. She thinks there may be something going on beside the migraine and meds. I actually have little pain now and my standard of living comfort wise other is pretty amazing. I still have the heat issue.

She lowered one med and doubled another to try to get my sweat glands going. The one she doubled was a sedative which is weird because My body jerks more as if the anxiety has to work harder to get out.

When I’m tired now I become more emotionally fragile and somewhat child like. I’m doing meditation and other mental exercises to fight it. It is what it is.

I’m tired of being angry at myself and the world. I’ve found a measure of peace I didn’t have before. I still don’t like it and I’m still afraid.

I had to go fax some important paperwork and my mother in-law made my wife go with me to make sure I did it right. Don’t think I didn’t notice what that implied. She wasn’t being the least bit mean. That’s just how far they trust my judgement now. It was important and there wasn’t room for error. They made sure I didn’t make one. They let me do it. She was there just in - shit. We all know what it means, no sense in dressing it up.

I promised I would keep writing for as long as I could and I will. If the posts near the end of the journal are different I hope you’ll have the kindness in your heart to see I’m trying to keep my word even though I can’t anymore.

until then I’ll keep you posted.

Darian

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19.04.2020
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Same as The Falling Oak - Learning How to Die
Chapter 48: Always Faithful Videos

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Mighty Oak Tree

Mighty Oak Tree Synopsis: When a lad is enchanted to become an oak tree, he finds love in the form of farmer whose son befriends the tree and in time, frees the tree and finds his love. [-][+][-] Once upon a time there was a mighty Oak Tree in a grassy meadow. It was a part of a farm owned by a farmer that loved the land and cared for the Oak Tree. One day the farmer brought a bundle to the tree and said to the tree, "Oh Mighty Oak, here is my son that I love. He shall be taught to...

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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 46 Whatrsquos Up

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The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 34 Twas A Nice Honey Moon

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Oct 21th, 2018 Waking up is mildly depressing. I haven’t had meds or CBD yet so my movements are either jerky or my BP is starting to rise putting pressure on my chest. Admittedly it’s not as bad as pre CBD days when I would wake up and go “Not this shit again.” meaning the pain. If you’ve ever studied any body discipline - Gymnastics, Karate, Ballroom Dancing. It’s especially upsetting when your body quits listening to you. Don’t get me wrong, at the moment, It’s more like I’m about 1 beer...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 66

Jan .27th, 2021 Hello Everyone, I received notice that I had won my Soc. Security hearing. Yay! That takes a lot of stress off of my family and I. I will be getting back payments and regular monthly payments. So I feel good about winning, but a bit negative about what was in my therapist’s paperwork. According to her, I suffer from delusions of grandeur (She obviously doesn’t understand how important I am ;), paranoia, generalized anxiety disorder, an instant willingness to become...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 4 Seizure

Sept. 17th 2018 I just left work because I am having seizures. I want you to see what it’s like. I was at my job for less than 2 hours. Now, it’s hard to think. My hands and arms jerk. I feel little because I’m not earning money for my wife and children. I’m afraid because the seizures are getting worse before they were just in my head. Now I shake. I work from home and had to dial a number to call in sick. I couldn’t remember how to find the number in my phone. I had to just sit there until...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 25 EEG Results And More

Wednesday I had an appointment with my neurologist. I would have updated sooner, but to be honest I came home exhausted then I was balls to the wall (for me, anyway) the next day trying to get done the things they wanted done as well as little necessities like paying my mortgage. Today I was able to put in almost a full 8 hours before I had to pull the plug (I was scheduled for overtime). I am still rather trashed so I am reusing a modified summary of the doctor’s appointment that I emailed a...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 43 Boy in the Bubble

April 14, 2019 Hello Everyone, Today was much more interesting than I intended it to be. My family went to a Renaissance Fair and I promptly locked my keys in the car. I was distracted as my wife and I were discussing the legality of where I was parking. So as they went and enjoyed the fair I was attempting to get into my car. First, I called my insurance company as I have a road side assistance policy. No dice, as they reimburse you later and I had eleven dollars in my pocket. Next, I...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 18 Date Night

Nov. 9th 2018 Last night was date night with the missus. We had dinner at an Italian place as part of a club she’s a member of. It went pretty well. At one point, she laid her head on my shoulder which hasn’t happened for awhile. My Aphasia disappeared for awhile so I was able to talk with people. I was known for witty one liners and last night I was in full swing and kept my table laughing. It was nice. I started to get the shakes so I got to do the rocking thing. I swear I’m going to get a...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 12 Test Day

Oct 24th, 2018 Today was the EEG test. I went to bed at 11:30 and got up at 4:00 a.m. The test required me to be tired. As I was trying to stay awake I surfed the net. I watched some porn. Guaranteed to keep the heart rate up lol as I wasn’t allowed to have caffeine. I’m old not dead. What was it Bocephus sang? “I like the sweet young thing with old Grand dad.” It’s fun to think about anyway. I spent some time looking at videos about living in nursing homes. I hate surprises. It went from...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 37 The Flu And Other Goodies

Feb. 10th, 2019 Hi everybody, Things have been a little out of kilter here. When I offered to bring a note from my mental health care provider to my employer my schedule magically reverted to normal. Yay! It took a few days to get back into the groove and then the flu decided to come visit. My wife works with kids and one of my kids works fast food so it’s inevitable. I ended up with a stomach thing which made me feel like I was going to barf if I moved. That lasted about 24 hours then my...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 6 A Little Wisdom

Sept. 29th, 2018 Things have been interesting around here the last little while. I have a brand new grandson! Yay! His middle name is his other grandfather’s and mine first names. That’s awesome. I’ve never had someone named after me before. My dog gave me poison ivy so I haven’t held him yet. That will be remedied in a few days. Through the good graces of one of our friends here a backup system has been put in place so if/when my mind slips off the rails my family will receive a copy of...

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Dec. 5th, 2018 I’m still trying to wrap my mind around everything. The fact that I’m being taken off one medication while being put on another is also messing with me. I don’t feel unsettled so much as flat. It feels as though my emotions are in a very narrow range. The meds must be some pretty strong beta blockers because my sex drive is almost non existent on one level. That’s the whole problem right there. A levels thing. On one level I don’t have a sex drive or feel the migraine, but on...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 9 I Misplaced My Left Hand

I love CBD! I haven’t had to take a single extra Naproxen for pain since I started it. I still take the other sedatives and such but this is the most pain free I have been in over a year!!! At times, my mind is quiet and I can think a little. I was able to do part of a multiplication problem in my head a couple of days ago. It doesn’t sound like much and it isn’t, but it’s more than I have been able to do for a year. CBD doesn’t fix anything but it sure does make the quality of my life...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 31 Christmas

Dec .26th, 2018 I hope everyone’s Christmas was good. Mine was good. I ended up at Christmas Sunday church. My wife wanted to go so we went. I had to go outside during the music because even with earplugs it was still too loud. I sat in the very back so I wouldn’t cause a disturbance if the preaching got too loud. You know Holy Rollers, if it ain’t loud it ain’t sanctified, lol. The preaching was actually quiet. My wife picks my clothing for important occasions because she knows I don’t...

The Falling Oak Learning How to DieChapter 70 Things Have Been Looking Up

Jan. 22nd, 2022 Hello Everyone, Things have been looking up for me. I had a checkup yesterday and my A1C (it’s derived from a test that is able to measure the trend amount of blood sugar for the last few months.) was 4.3! My last one was 5.3. The one given the day I was admitted to the hospital was over 15. My doc said I didn’t need insulin but is having me take 5 units twice a day to wean my system off of it. I started at 35 units twice a day. That’s a big difference. The doc even wants...

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