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Honourable Service
Eden
2051
"I wouldn't advise it, sir," said Eden's minder, Jason Irons, a dour but efficiently vicious scot. "You've seen the news reports. It's been another day of riots. We'd be better off staying in the house until it blows over. That is, of course, unless you want to leave incognito."
"Incognito?" asked Eden with outrage. "What the bloody hell does that mean?"
"Well, we could bundle you into a modest car that someone of your status wouldn't normally be seen dead in and then we could drive you to your Surrey estate and well away from any rioters."
"You're right, Irons," said Eden. "I wouldn't be seen dead doing anything like that. We'll stay here and let this nonsense pass by. I'll go up to my study. You continue trying to organise that charter flight to the Med."
"It's difficult, sir, what with the airport staff strike and the protests against aeroplane fuel subsidies," said Irons. "I mightn't be able to arrange anything for a couple of days."
"I don't bloody care what it takes, Irons. What do I pay you for anyway? Just fucking do it."
Irons scurried off to carry out his duty and left his boss alone in his study. Eden buzzed Theo on his phone who answered immediately. "Come up here please," he said and left the call at that. Within a minute, Theo was in the study standing to attention and bowed his head to Eden in obsequious deference.
"Well, Theo, it looks like I'm going to be spending all of today and possibly most of tomorrow in this place."
"You won't be going to Surrey today then, sir?"
"No, I won't," said Eden. "And it's very likely that I shan't be going there at all. My present plan, if Irons can get it together, is to fly back to my yacht tomorrow. I've already had more than enough of this country."
"I'll tell the guys in the Buccaneer to expect you tomorrow, sir."
"So, what is happening outside, Theo? You'd have thought there would be celebrations after the election. Not riots. It all seemed pretty conclusive after the polls closed."
"There are a lot of people who don't like the election results, sir."
"So why did they vote for the Liberal Conservative Party then, Theo?"
"I think the ones complaining are those who didn't vote for them, sir. I think a lot of them didn't vote at all."
"The modernisation of the electoral system was well overdue. You saw the chaos that resulted when every government was a coalition. In fact, the present government is still a coalition. And it's a coalition with some political parties further to the right than Iverson's lot that I'd probably support if I thought they ever had a chance of becoming the majority. It's the voting system. It's fair and square. The British people should just respect the election result and get on with being governed."
"It's not just the results, sir. I think most people accepted the change of government even if they didn't like it."
"You mean the US Embassy shooting, Theo? What were the Americans supposed to do? Let the anarchists overrun the place? They did the right thing. They should act like that every time."
"They generally do so nowadays whatever happens, sir. The Americans are not much liked anywhere in the world these days. They're perceived to have become unnecessarily brutal with the suppression of rioters and the like."
"And so they should be. What is this mob moaning about anyway? They pay less tax under a Liberal Conservative government. They have more and better opportunities to set up business free from government interference. They should be happy."
"Many are complaining about unemployment and public service cuts, sir."
"Unemployment, Theo? We're doing what we can to keep immigrants and asylum seekers off our shores. They should be grateful. British jobs for British citizens."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, I need some distraction this evening. I take it you'll be able to organise something. Or will the escorts also be frightened to walk the streets of London?"
"I think that they'll be here even if the River Thames floods and the waters reach as far as Mayfair, sir. I don't think anything much could keep them away from providing you a service. If need be, sir, they'd even dress up like a rioter to get here."
That amused Eden. "A hooker in a hoodie. Tarts with eco-terrorist tee-shirts and utility boots. Vegetarian whores. Well, they couldn't be that, could they Theo? Eating meat is part of their job. Where would they be if they decided not to eat sausage when they're asked to?"
"I don't know, sir. Is there anything else you require?"
"Food. Drink. The usual. And if my deranged daughter turns up again, just tell her I'm not in. That is, of course, unless she wants to fight off the rioters. Do you think she sympathises with them, Theo?"
"I don't think she has any opinions, sir, political or otherwise."
"She's a hopeless case. She'll be dead long before I am. And then what will happen to the inheritance?"
"I don't know, sir. Will that be all?"
"Yes, Theo. Don't disturb me until lunch is prepared."
"Of course not, sir."
Eden stood by the window of his study. Berkeley Square seemed quiet. Perhaps a little too quiet. Many of the more exclusive Mayfair shops and salons had been shuttered up since the US Embassy incident. There weren't enough police about for Eden's liking. They were probably gathered in places like Trafalgar Square that had become almost second home for the rioting yobbos. If only it was possible to corral the lot of them and shoot them methodically. That would solve most of Britain's problems in one go. And do wonders for the unemployment statistics.
Eden picked up the phone and punched in a number.
"Eden?" said the voice at the other end.
"Prime Minister," he answered.
"How can I help you, Eden? I am very busy at the moment. I can't really stop for a chat."
"I just wanted an update on the situation."
"It's pretty grim, but we're winning."
"How can you be so sure?"
"The protestors are disorganised. Their demands are unfocused and uncoordinated. The media are unanimously against them, including, you'll be pleased to know, the pinko Guardian and the BBC. There's a head of steam but it'll soon dissipate."
"How long do you think it'll take?"
"A day or so. At most a week. In the long run it'll all be to our benefit."
"How do you work that one out, Ivan?"
"It doesn't do the causes of the greens, the trades unions, the pinkos or the lefties any good to be associated with civil unrest. The more they protest the better the argument to clamp down on them and push forward a modernising agenda."
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