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Return From The Dark SideChapter 8: The Fall Out free porn video
"I admit to being worried about you, Josie."
Doctor Bloom's voice came from behind her head whilst she was reclining on the couch.
"He would never hurt me, ever, nor my children," she replied with conviction.
"How do you know this? This man may be like a tamed leopard, peaceful and docile, until some obscure signal triggers a deadly attack. But more important is the effect he will have on your life. Can you live a life of secrecy? Always guarding yourself about what you say? Can you impose such a life on your daughters? Or, another possibility, what if you fall out of love? Or if he falls out of love? Will he let you go peacefully? After all, you have knowledge that can destroy his newly found bourgeois life. What will he do to persons he makes responsible for a break up?"
She was getting tired of Bloom she decided on the drive back home. This was the way he had been haranguing her in their sessions ever since she returned from England. She regretted ever confessing to her relationship, but somehow Bloom had managed to pull that information from her.
Now there was another distracting issue: James Elrin was openly courting her. His recent successes had emboldened him and he made no attempt to hide the fact that he was after his boss. He was nice with her, never pressing her, and he knew a lot about marketing and running a business. Yet, he never let her feel inferior. They were a formidable team together as he never tired of telling her.
If she was honest, Josie found him nice but a bit boring. He certainly did not make her pulse race. Yet the very fact that he was a normal Joe who visited his parents on the weekend, who drove a run-off-the-mill sedan to work and who would never resort to violence made him a tempting alternative to the problem-laden relationship with Henry. He was the station wagon and Henry was the off-roader she mused, not entirely sure what she preferred herself.
Another thought struck her. She could build a business with Elrin, but what could she build with an ex-mercenary? 'A family!' a voice inside her head cried. Another thought assailed her. If she and Henry were officially an item he might find himself at the centre of the interest of both FBI and APD. Perhaps they had forensic evidence tying Henry to the deaths of Rico and Max. Then she would become implicated as an accessory and go to jail. Wasn't it madness to risk that?
Yet, there was the undeniable fact that a single touch of his hand could reduce her to jelly. There was the warm feeling she had knowing there was a man who loved her unconditionally. Was it worth it however to risk everything for this little magic that would probably fade away in the longer run? She noticed that she was looking for arguments against Henry and she felt uneasy. She needed more time. She needed to speak to him about her worries. She would call him and ask him to be patient. He would understand she thought warmly.
She needed to get her mind back to business anyway. She was leaving for Philadelphia for a meeting with one of their no-brand suppliers. James had set up the meeting to discuss new product ranges and he would come along to pitch their ideas.
The bright sunlight that filtered through a crack in the curtains hit her eyes and she groaned slightly. She had a bad taste in her mouth and an uncomfortable sticky feeling between her legs. Still trying to regain full cerebral function she moved her hand down to rub her belly and froze. Why the hell was she naked? And what was the sticky stuff between her legs? As she lifted the sheets, the smell of stale semen wafted up assaulting her nose. Her hand came up sticky too. She turned her head and suppressed another groan. Resting on his elbow and grinning smugly was James Elrin.
"Good morning, Sunshine. You look ravishing."
"I need to go to the bathroom," she forced herself to say before she made her escape.
Sitting on the toilet her mind raced. What had happened? Well, she'd had too much to drink at the business dinner. Magically, her glass had never been empty, the drinks were sweet, and she was thirsty. She vaguely remembered James helping her to the room. She had slept with him! How could she ever face him again? Or how could she ever face herself again? Finally, the drink caught up with her. She barely had the time to bend over the bowl before she threw up.
"Are you okay, Darling?" James asked from behind the door.
"Yes ... no, I'm not. I drank too much."
"Should I get you something? An Alka-Seltzer?"
"No, just give me a few minutes!"
Drinking lots of water from the tab and showering for ten minutes somehow restored her sufficiently to leave the bathroom. She almost turned around. James had ordered breakfast, but food was not on her list of priorities.
"Listen, James, this is very embarrassing. I have no recollection of last night..."
He jumped up and put his hands on her arms.
"But I have, Josie. You are a wonderful woman. Last night was a dream come true for me. I know, we were both a little drunk. So if you feel that this was an accident, just tell me, and I will never breathe a single word about last night. I'm just grateful. And please, don't be mad at me. I couldn't stand that."
When she saw his puppy eyes, she did not have the stomach to tell him that this morning had been a materialisation of her worst nightmares. Again, she had become drunk. Again, she had woken up with a man she did not love, not knowing, not remembering what had happened. She took a deep breath.
"I'm not mad at you, but we took several steps at once yesterday. I need to sort out how I feel about what obviously happened."
"I didn't plan for this to happen either. Please, believe me. But you gave me the greatest gift last night. Whatever you feel, Josie, please know that from my side it was love. I've loved you since that first meeting when you allowed me to follow up on my ideas. You are kind, caring and you have vision. I'm very good with deals and details, but you know people. I admire that in you."
In spite of her misgivings, his words flattered Josie.
"That was very sweet, James," she said.
She bent forward to give him a light kiss, but he mistook her signals and returned her kiss with passion. It was nice, Josie decided, to be kissed and to retain some brain function. She was able to guide James during their kiss. Why not get a repeat of last night in a conscious state? The deed had been done anyway. And James' adoration was balm on her troubled mind. Breaking their lip lock, she directed his mouth to her breasts.
Back home the reality of what she had done crashed over her. She had promised Henry to look for ways to make their relationship work. Yet, just three weeks after leaving him, she had got drunk and let another man fuck her.
What was she to do? What if she told him, explained to him that she had been drunk? Could he forgive her? She knew that he would be crushed. She mustn't ever let him know of her betrayal. But could she lie to him? Could she pretend nothing had happened? A relationship built on lies from the start, that was no option either. What else was left?
Another thought came to her mind – did a few drinks turn her into a slut? She was not a fitting woman for an honest man, a straight man like Henry. She had to let him go. He would find another, a better woman and he would forget her. She had to make it easy for him. She had to cool down their relationship slowly, to increase the distance gradually, until she could end it without hurting him.
And she? Maybe those strong emotions were not for her. She had a company to preserve for Pat and Megan who would inherit it one day. She still felt inadequate to the tasks looming ahead. She would need somebody to help her, to guide her. At least James knew about business. With him at her side she might be able to wing it, to make people forget that she was just a housewife with no formal education. There was a price to pay for his allegiance, but perhaps he could bring some normalcy into her life.
All this reasoning notwithstanding, the knowledge that she had lost her first love left her with a dull pain deep inside.
John and Ethel Elrin were salt of the earth Josie thought. They were representatives of a dying breed of parents who lived for the children and their education. They were obviously content with their little house in the suburbs, built in the seventies, and with their simple life as retirees. They were also clearly in awe of Josie, but it was not embarrassing at all.
James had brought her to meet them in his whirlwind courtship of Josie, and Josie felt herself sucked into meek acceptance. James conquered her with his openly displayed adoration and with the glimpse at a normal life he showed her. Josie was a sucker for normal life after a fourteen-year roller-coaster.
"So James tells us wonderful things about you," Ethel Elrin beamed. "But he is quite a catch himself. He has saved himself for a person like you. He never messed around with girls."
Josie smiled politely fighting the urge to tell Ethel that messing around with girls would have taught her son a few useful things about the female anatomy. Their sex life had so far been a complete disaster making Josie doubt that there had been real penetration during their first drunken encounter.
James' sex education seemed to have taken place in front of a computer screen. He seemed to expect her to reach a climax in the time frame of a Quicktime movie clip. She hoped him to become more proficient over time.
"James tells us that you have two charming daughters, twins?"
That was James' father, trying to give his five cent to the conversation. Josie cast a glance at James. The twins were a sore point in their developing relationship, for Patricia and Megan completely rejected James.
James himself was uneasy around them and he could never muster the right tone when he talked to them. The girls would always be on their worst behaviour and he adopted a pompous demeanour, sounding like his own father when he told them to 'better listen to your mother'. Patricia, ever the wise-ass, called him Aunt Ethel but maintained a mockingly polite facade. Megan by contrast spat fire and brimstones whenever James admonished her.
"Oh, they're quite an handful at times and they're a little jealous of James," she answered, quoting almost verbatim from Dr. Bloom's opinion.
"Girls at that age need a firm hand," Ethel opined. "We'll be more than happy to have them over if you and James want to escape for a few days. Give them some pointers if you understand my drift. It must be difficult for you to keep them at bay with all the work you have to put in."
"You'll have more time for them when James takes that load off your shoulders," John Elrin added smugly.
Josie's eyebrows shot up. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
"Let's get one thing clear: My daughters are wonderful girls. They need time to get used to such a drastic change in our life, especially after what they went through last year. And no, I have no plans to retire to the kitchen. It's my business, and it will stay my business."
John and Ethel looked at Josie with open mouths. There had been a steely quality to her voice and she had dropped her friendly smile like a used dust mask.
"I'm sorry, Josie. Mom and Pop didn't want to imply anything, right folks? The girls and I just need more time to get accustomed to each other." James was quick to quell a potential confrontation.
Josie let it be, but she made a mental note to give James a few pointers afterwards. John and Ethel quickly switched back to the 'cosy' mode, and the evening ended with everybody claiming to have had a good time.
When they sat in the car, Josie took a deep breath, but James beat her to it.
"I'm sorry, Josie. My parents are so backwards. They just construed their own ideas into what I've told them. I really want to be friends with your daughters and I'm not aiming at replacing you at the Maxistores. You're the boss and I'm loyal to you. Do you believe me?"
He was so sincere. Josie nodded, her anger mollified.
"It's okay. They'll adjust. And your parents will get used to me."
There it was. She had not planned to say it that way. It was a commitment. Without saying the 'M'-word she had implied it, and James gave her a beaming smile.
"You're what?" Pat asked incredulously.
"I'm marrying James," Josie declared.
James had proposed four weeks ago and Josie had not said no. He had taken that as acceptance and had arranged for the wedding, presenting her with a fait accompli. Part of her wanted to tell him where to stuff his wedding, but the other, more reasonable part accepted this as something she wanted anyway. He had also found a good boarding school in Virginia for Pat and Megan to attend. This would help them all. Pat and Megan would find age mates and get a good education. Josie and James could build their marriage without the constant bickering between James and the twins. The school had an excellent record he claimed with a good mixture of discipline and guidance. He had shown her the flyers and she had looked at them cursorily in the limo.
"But you can't, Mom!" Megan gasped. "What about Harry? I thought you liked him."
"And he likes us," Pat added.
"I can't marry Henry. You both know what a man he was. I like him too and I'm grateful for what he did for us. That's no reason for a marriage though. James is good for me and he's going to be a good father for you."
Megan snorted. "Yeah, right! Are all our fathers supposed to hate us?"
"He doesn't hate you! You will give him a chance. After all we will be a family soon."
"That's it, Mom," Pat complained, "we are supposed to be a family but we have no say."
"I don't have to ask your permission to choose a husband, young lady!" Josie snapped.
"Then he'll be your husband, but not our father," Pat argued back.
"Look girls, James and I will marry next weekend. Accept it! You will behave yourself. James' parents will be there too. Be nice to them. James and I will go on a two-week trip to Mexico after the wedding and James' parents have agreed to take you in."
"You're unloading us to strangers, Mom?" Megan asked incredulously.
"They're your new grandparents."
"But we, like, never met them before. What if they hate us? What if we hate them?"
"Then you'll just have to behave yourself, young lady."
"Why can't we come with you?"
"Well, James and I need some time alone to get our marriage started. It's customary. And since you and James don't get along..."
"We get the boot," Pat completed.
"Can't we go somewhere else, Mom?"
"Listen, girls, they are nice people. Maybe a little old-fashioned, but they are nice. You will like it."
"Yeah, great! Does Harry know?"
"Just leave Henry out of this! I'll send him a letter when I come back explaining things. He'll understand."
"That's really cheap, Mom! Don't you have the guts to call him and tell him?," Megan said with contempt.
"You are walking on thin ice, Megan. I won't take any more cheek from you, understand?"
"What can you do to us? Send us away to live with total strangers?" Pat shot back.
She reeled back a split second later under the impact of a powerful slap. Unable to control her sudden fury, Josie wanted to slap her daughter again, but Megan threw herself between them and got hit in the face instead. Her nose began to bleed immediately. The girls stared at their mother unable to move whilst Josie vented her rage.
"You damned brats! It's always about you! I'm not allowed to have a life. I couldn't stay in college because of you! I had to marry your father because of you! I couldn't leave him because of you! My whole miserable existence revolved around you. And now I have found a man who appreciates me and I'm not allowed to marry him, because my daughters don't like him. For once, I'm selfish. You can choose. Accept James and stay with me, or reject him and go to boarding school! They have a nice, Catholic boarding school for girls in Virginia where you can stay if you don't like my new husband."
"Can we go there right away? I'm sure that you've already made the arrangements," Pat said in a toneless voice whilst Megan was trying to still her nosebleed, looking at Josie with a mix of fear and hatred.
The look from Megan cut through Josie's heart. She realised what she had just said and done. She tried to diffuse the situation.
"Megan, what's your answer? We don't have to fight like that."
Megan swallowed hard. "We'll go to Virginia. You can marry Elrin, Maxine."
"What did you just say?" Josie blanched.
"Maxine!" Megan challenged. "What, you're gonna slap me again? Go ahead!"
"That's uncalled for, Megan," Josie tried to regain her composure.
"You think so?" Pat answered bitterly. "You're disposing of us after beating us up. You learned well from Max."
"That's enough!"
"Oh give us a break, Mom! Everything that went wrong in your life is our fault, isn't it? You're better off without us, and we don't want to drag you down. Let's go and pack, Meg."
"Let me look at your nose, Megan," Josie started, but Megan backed away. "I didn't mean to hit you, Megan. I was hitting Pat."
"Wow! That's a relief!" Megan spat taking Pat's hand. The girls went upstairs without looking back.
Josie sat down heavily. What had she done? Her daughters who she had called good girls just two weeks ago hated her now. Worse, they had chosen a boarding school to be away from her. Was she a bad mother?
James had no doubts when he came to pick her up for dinner.
"You're a good mother, Josie. Don't worry, they will come to their senses," he said. "Do you want me to talk to them?"
Josie shook her head. "I'll try later. Listen, James, can we skip dinner? I'm not feeling that well."
"Sure, darling. Tomorrow at nine?"
Josie kissed him good bye and then sat in her living room undecided. With a sigh, she picked up the phone realising too late that it was long past midnight in England.
"Yes?" Henry picked up the phone right away in spite of the late hour. His voice sounded odd.
"It's me, Josie."
"This can't be good if you call me this late at night."
"Well, no, it isn't. I've been thinking a lot. I just can't see a way for this to work out for us. Us being together takes weird to a new level. And besides, I'm not ready yet for a new relationship."
Why did she say that? To lessen the blow? It fired back. There was no answer at first.
"Harry, are you still there?"
"Yes," she could hear the hurt in his voice, and suddenly her feelings were back. But his next words made her gasp. "So you're not ready yet? Maybe, if I give you time?"
"Maybe, Harry, yes. A big maybe." Don't hurt him too much. Leave him some hope. Let his feelings die slowly.
His voice was hardly audible. "Go to hell!"
"What? What did you say?"
The voice gained in volume and venom. "I said, you can go to hell! Is this fun for you? Does it make you feel good?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Your wedding is set for next Saturday. You started dating your future husband right after you left me. For months you knew it was over. And now you call me, with five days to your wedding, and you don't even have the decency to be honest. Go to hell!"
The line went dead. Josie sat rooted staring at the receiver. For a moment she felt fear well up. What if he came to take revenge? She willed down the apprehension. Henry would not do anything that would hurt the twins, of that she was sure. The twins! How had he known about her wedding? It must have been them. They had called him, that was why he was awake. She clenched her jaw. They had turned against their own mother! A split second later, reality crashed down on her.
No, she had pushed them away and they had called the only person they still trusted. She had lost the love and trust of her children. Josie looked at the bottle of Scotch that was sitting on the bar, still unopened. She knew she should not drink and she fought the impulse to drown her guilt. Finally, she prevailed. With calm hands, she emptied the bottle into the sink. Then she emptied all the bottles in the bar. No more alcohol in her house!
Yet without the drink that she craved, she had a hard time falling asleep, and she felt wrung out when her alarm went off at eight. Mechanically, she went to her bathroom, brushed her teeth and then went to the girls' bedroom. Just as she opened the door, she remembered the events of the evening before. Pat and Meg lay in one bed in a supporting hug. There was still dried blood under Megan's nose. There were also two suitcases, open and filled with school clothes and other items.
"Pat, Meg, time to wake up. I have to leave in an hour."
Their eyes opened and they looked at her. Their eyes were red and puffy but they were defiant.
"Look, I think we all overreacted last night. Why don't we have breakfast together and talk things over? You don't really want to go to that school, do you?"
"No we don't. But we'd hate to be in the way of your happiness." Pat answered bitterly.
"We think you really deserve James," Megan added with eyes of stone.
"Are we starting again?" Josie sighed.
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