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I responded rather groggily to the knock at the door, which had turned into some real banging, forcing me to slip some of my rather crumpled clothes on that Sunday afternoon, at which point I opened the door to my motel room to find Pastor Lawrence Myers and two deacons looking rather intently at me. Myers was the new minister at our community church, and from what I had seen, I was yet to be impressed with him. The previous pastor had been chased off, which was bad enough, because I really liked him, but Pastor Myers had already seemed to get a hold on Tracy and half the time he was all that she could talk about after services ... Pastor Myers this, Pastor Myers that, to the point that the kids and I were even more tempted to switch churches than we already were. I had the feeling that after today, we were about to make a run for it.

“Brother David, good to see you! I wondered where you were. I know that things have been kind of crazy for you, but I had hoped to see you in the services this morning. You’re not leaving us because of the issues in your marriage, are you? It doesn’t help to become bitter and angry at God, and remember what the Scripture teaches us about becoming hostile and mad at your wife, too. You two really need to work things out, you know. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but I’m hoping for you two to seek some counseling, which I’m more than ready to provide both of you,” the pastor greeted me with a sermon right out of the gate, which was awfully presumptuous of him.

“Pastor Myers, if I had wanted a sermon about the state of my marriage, I’d have gone to church this morning, which no doubt witnessed a homily on the subject of divorce. I hope that you gave the missus at least as much hell, given that she’s the one that showed me the door. As for counseling, I’m not sure how well that will go. She’s adamant that we can only be together on her terms, non-negotiable, and she had me served with divorce papers just yesterday, Reverend. How Christian is that? You want to lecture someone about divorce, want to preach, start with her. I disagreed with her on something and she wanted me out of my own house, me and the kids! Her own children, even though they’re nearly eighteen. Still, what kind of mother kicks out her children, just weeks shy of their eighteenth birthday? Seriously!” I asserted myself.

“Well, now you’ve made some serious accusations there, but shouldn’t she have a chance to speak her turn? Was there something done beyond the pale, perhaps?” Pastor Myers struggled, grasping at straws, while the two deacons shifted uncomfortably behind him.

“Yes, something was done beyond the pale! A woman essentially used the threat of violence to kick her own husband and children out of their home! That was definitely beyond the pale, sir! Good day, sir! If this is the kind of influence that you’re having on my wife, I think that I’ll just find another church!” I indicated the door, strongly urging him to leave, just as my twins barged through, almost shoving the reverend and his goons aside in their haste, which cracked me up.

“Well, if they’re going to act like hooligans, and you tolerate that, maybe Tracy just wanted to put a scare into them, that’s all!” the parson sputtered.

“That kind of scare? I don’t think so! Besides, they’re just being hungry teenagers! Couldn’t you tell that they were bringing brunch home from Rally’s? Say hi to my wife and tell her that I find out that she’s using this as an excuse to bring home strangers, I will find out and use it in the divorce to hammer her even harder! I’ll find the biggest shark in the town and nail her ass to the wall!” I growled at the minister.

“Now, now, there’s no need for talk like that! Surely, there’s been a misunderstanding. Tracy would never cheat on you, son,” Myers did his best to con me, but I wasn’t buying ... in my experience, the most righteous people turned out to be the biggest hypocrites.

“Meaning that it’s probably you slipping her the salami,” I taunted him, making him fluster and blush a bit ... as if I had just struck home.

“There’s no need for such accusations! All that happened was a fight, that’s all! Haven’t you heard the saying, anyway, ‘cheaper to keep her, ‘ my son?” Pastor Myers really pissed me off now.

“Haven’t you heard of the Scripture, remove your foot from your neighbor’s house? Well, do it now! I’m not your son, especially if you’re boffing my wife! Oh, and tell her to forget this dumbass laundry list of demands! She has already shoved me into a motel, but her victory is fleeting! The courts hate mothers like her and she will not get to take me to the fucking cleaners!” I shouted angrily at him, making my kids laugh as I cussed him out.

“Now, now, Mr. Morgan, there is no need for profanity ... haven’t you heard of the Commandment, ‘Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain’?” Pastor Myers started to preach again.

“Strange, I don’t recall Jehovah answering to the name ‘fuck’, do you, kids?” I laughed, as they snickered, while I finally pushed Pastor Myers and his deacons out and slammed the door in their faces.

“Evidently, that’s their idea of ‘visitation, ‘ to wake a middle-aged guy from his cat nap in a motel room with his kids, after one of their parishioners kicked them out of their home. They should visit her and preach at her instead,” I chuckled as I dug into the burger that they got me, nice and loaded with onions and barbeque sauce.

“One milkshake coming up, too! Mine is nice, though I don’t know if it will bring all of the boys to the yard,” Curtis joked as he handed me my chocolate shake, while drinking his strawberry one.

Stephanie nearly spat out her shake when she heard that comment, giggling at the idea, “Maybe we should stand out there with the shakes and see if they bring all the boys to the yard, bro! Though with our luck, they’d show up at Mom’s and she’d either chase them off or try to rape them!”

I nearly choked on my burger when I heard that remark, typical of the twins’ humor, of course. Maybe it wasn’t very Christian of me, but then I was never a fundamentalist type the way that the church seeming to be going since Myers took over. One thing that I liked about Pastor Al Ward was that he had an earthy sense of humor, was practical and down-to-earth with his beliefs and how he applied his faith, and he also didn’t think that it hurt to have opinions of one’s own. He often reminded people that Job and many other people had argued with God directly at times. If they could debate the Almighty face to face, it wasn’t a sin to have one’s own opinion that didn’t agree with the Scriptures at times. God wasn’t going to burn people for using the minds that He gave them, Pastor Ward would say. He presumably wouldn’t damn my twins for having a bawdy sense of humor, either, I think that Pastor Ward would have said.

“If we could catch that on camera, your mother wouldn’t be able to touch me in court, I think. I don’t mean legally, I mean in terms of her being eager to get the divorce behind her so that she wouldn’t be exposed as a hypocrite,” I observed with a wicked gleam in my eye, but I never actually intended to blackmail Tracy ... it was just a fantasy.

I never counted on my twins, much as King Henry II never counted on those knights that slew Thomas Becket when he uttered the notorious lament, “Who will rid me of this turbulent priest?” Just as he should have known his audience, though, so should I. It was just a fantasy, but for Tracy, it was going to be a nightmare. The twins, after all, didn’t have to work for a living, and the saying was perhaps a bit truer than usual that “idle hands are the Devil’s workshop.” I wasn’t at all aware that my off-the-cuff remark would lead to trouble for her, but ask me if I honestly care, and the answer would have to be “no.” Tracy made her bed with hatred and hypocrisy, and soon she would have to sleep in it.

At the moment, however, all I cared about was setting up the dental appointments for my twins, getting my direct deposits moved out of the joint-checking account into my own (I had already opened one by withdrawing the funds that I figured were mine and depositing them at the bank the previous Friday, so that they couldn’t be frozen), and notifying my secretary, Hilda, of my plans for a Tuesday working lunch and job interview. Since I was, de facto, the custodial parent, Tracy was lucky that I hadn’t yet put a restraining order on her ass and petitioned for child support and the family home. I certainly planned to make a point of my effective custody, but for now, withdrawing enough money and separating funds so as to have enough for my kids was enough for me. It was bad enough that we were essentially homeless now. The last thing that I needed was to have to deal with a major shortfall of funds.

“So, Daddy, can we go see a movie today? I know that you’re scrimping, so that’s why Curtis and I thought of a matinee. Since we’ve already eaten and won’t ask for popcorn or soda, it should be somewhat cheap, right?” Stephanie cleverly phrased her petition, and as she often did, reverted to calling me “Daddy” instead of “Dad.”

“Alright, you little heifer, we can do that! But first I’m finishing my lunch, you too, since we need full stomachs to resist the concession stand,” I pointed out, ruffling her hair with my right hand while I grabbed some curly fries with the other.

“So, if she’s a heifer, what does that make me?” Curtis joked, tickling his sister a bit.

“A rascal like me!” I laughed, tickling him a bit.

“Alfalfa or Spanky?” Stephanie teased me.

“Careful, missy, you’re not too big for me to turn over my knee, you know,” I chuckled.

This only made things worse, because Stephanie then started shaking her booty to taunt me with it, even moving it against my hand to dare me to swat her on the tush. I felt my boner grow in spite of myself, and I chided myself mentally for getting hard at the idea of spanking my teenage daughter. That was when Curtis decided to complicate things by twerking with both of us, something that would surely have been misunderstood if someone from Child Services had witnessed it, to say the least. The fact that I was hard as a rod and that my son’s butt only made me more erect didn’t help. Was I actually attracted to both of my twins? What would that mean for us?

“It’s okay, Daddy. We both know that we’re hot and so are you. To be honest, while this wasn’t the way that I fantasized about it, the idea of sharing you with Curtis has been a fantasy of mine for a while now,” Stephanie startled me with her confession.

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Overcoming the BitchChapter 2 More Than Meets The Eye

The next day things seemed a bit better in the office. It wasn't as if some dramatic changes occurred suddenly and the office was this bright, cheerful place, but Beth was clearly making an effort to control herself. When I saw her in the morning she smiled and said hello to me and when she saw other people that we worked with she said hello in a way that seemed less forced and maybe even without the hostility that she seemed to be carrying around before our talk. I actually saw her talking...

2 years ago
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Overcoming the BitchChapter 3 Coming to a head

I lay awake that night staring at the ceiling trying to sort out my feelings about Beth and what I should do. If her father was correct, she had feelings for me other than friendship and if I was honest with myself I knew that I felt more for her that just being friends as well. Let's face it: She's beautiful and now that I got to know her she was fun to be with and we had a lot of common interests. I knew that I had to do something because I had started thinking about her all the time....

3 years ago
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Overcoming the BitchChapter 4 Exploring the possibilities

Beth and I left the office quickly. We were both anxious to get away from the smirking faces, whispers and giggles that were going around our department. We walked side by side through the halls and waited for an elevator in silence. We gave each other nervous glances and small smiles of anticipation until we heard the ding of the elevator announcing its arrival on our floor. We walked in and quickly pressed the button to go down to the garage level where we could get into our cars. As the...

4 years ago
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Overcoming the BitchChapter 5 Reality Sets In

In the months that followed that first date, things were great between Beth and me. We had fun whenever we were together and more importantly, we learned to love the quirky little things about each other that make you who you are. For me to love Beth I had to not only love the smart and beautiful woman that I thought she was at the beginning, but I also had to embrace the fact that, yes, sometimes she was a bitch. I have to admit that there are times when her bitchiness did grate on me and I...

4 years ago
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Homecoming 2 Dreams are Made of3

Carlota almost choked on her tea when she heard the question. Having child had always plagued her mind but she wasn’t so sure she was ready, Conor always kept saying he was but stayed supportive to her when she said she wasn’t, but she could also feel his frustration of being married for two years now and still have no child to love and cherish. Carlota took a deep breath, “We’re still in the planning stage, mama, I don’t want to go and head in first without making sure we can fully support the...

2 years ago
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Homecoming Chapters 12

My name is Gus Snead, you may have heard of me recently in the news. I am the man whose name has been sullied about by ignorance and hatemongers who do not understand the nature of who and what I am. I am 34 years old, live in Illinois (let’s just say Chicago for sake of simplicity); I was a former teacher who has changed the entire state of a school. I have been chased out of the district by fools who do not understand my desire to mark my territory (like I said ignorance and hatemongering)...

3 years ago
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Homecoming Chapter 3

“Why Can’t I” The urge to mate and to expand my territory had subsided after my second session with Carolyn. I also noticed that it was quickly reaching the end of the school day and that I could not stay here overnight, not if I wanted to continue my plan. I was able to focus and gain enough composure to get tell Carolyn to drive to my apartment. I think she was able to read my mind because she started to regain some of her poise as well, I believe she understood what was at stake and...

1 year ago
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Homecoming

The early morning summer rain washed away my tears as I sat naked in a lotus position on top of a cliff overlooking Eros Valley a few hundred meters below. I allowed myself to feel sorry for myself. Two years ago, on Christmas Day my ex-husband left with his affair of three years, never to return. After the divorce I threw myself into yoga practice and even went on an eighteen month retreat at an ashram in India. I found peace through meditation and yoga, but not Enlightenment.In all this time...

Swingers
2 years ago
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Homecoming part 3 4

1. this was originally a set of emails sent to a friend serving in iraq. 2. place yourself in the character danny's place as you read all of it. as we sit on the couch watching tv, my head laying under your chin, you have one hand wrapped around me, cupping a tit. the other is stroking my hair. we're at peace, resting from the fun of the day and its after 11. we watch the news and while its on, i let my hand slide slowly down your chest, feeling every ripple and knowing im so...

1 year ago
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Homecoming surprise

All day and throughout his journey home he'd been looking forward to this moment. It wasn't often he was able to surprise his wife but having tied up the final paperwork on the new contact earlier than expected, he'd decided to make the journey home today instead of leaving it til his usual Friday. Besides, he'd long grown tired of living in hotel rooms and it would be fun to surprise his wife. Yet for some strange reason, five minutes ago when he'd switched off the cars engine, he...

2 years ago
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Homecoming Ch 10

Props to Techsan for the editing job. Techsan, I am in awe of your patience and skills. Once again, I have to say that although Lt. Col. Vandervoort and his shattered ankle are entirely real, Daniel is pure fiction. For those of you who have stuck by this story, I thank you profusely for reading it and voting. For those of you just discovering this story, I’d ask you to read all the chapters and vote, vote, vote. Thanks again one and all. Chapter 10 Ste-Mere-Eglise, France, June 6, 1944 ...

4 years ago
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Homecoming Ch 09

Once again, I want to thank Techsan for his patience and editing skills. Thanks one and all for keeping up with the story…and voting. Now the disclaimer: Although Lt. Col. Benjamin Vandervoort is a real live person in history, this story is pure fiction and only borrows the name for accuracy of the historical facts surrounding the fictional story…and for dramatic effect. Hope you enjoy. And vote…vote…vote! Chapter 9 Ste-Mere-Eglise, France, June 6, 1944 The twenty-seven year-old Lt. Col....

4 years ago
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Homecoming Ch 02

Chapter 2: Tomorrow’s Path I will never for the life of me understand the simple pleasure a woman finds in shopping. Or the seemingly unnecessary consideration of such trivial things as price or practicality. That morning, we went shopping with Mary’s credit card, and aside from valiantly attempting to hide my shock at the prices she paid, I was fairly preoccupied with the knowledge that I now knew what a Ken doll felt like. I was dressed, undressed and redressed so quickly that I barely had...

1 year ago
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Homecoming Ch 07

Again, I want to give a shout out to Techsan for the exemplary editing job. Thanks one and all for all of the great comments, and, thanks for reading my story. Readers, please keep up with the comments. They encourage me to get on with the next chapter. They also let me know if I’m going in the right direction. That’s not to say that I am going to give everyone what they want — LOL! But hopefully I can give you a little of what you need…as promised. Cheers and thanks again. Chapter 7 Thanks...

3 years ago
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Homecoming meal

Jenny stood at the station waiting for the train, her life had felt so empty these last three weeks spending each night alone and then she heard the train pull into the station. As the passengers disembarked she eagerly searched the throng of people looking for Cassie and there at the back was her beloved Cassie and her heart skipped a beat. Cassie was wearing the dress that Jenny loved, a short flowery summer dress she had bought her when they first met four months ago. She herself was wearing...

1 year ago
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Homecoming surprise

Introduction: He expected to surprise his wife. It did not go quite as planned It was dark outside as he headed up the garden path. Alex climbed the few steps which lead onto the patio and made his way across towards window where what little light there was, filtered through from the lounge to leave its dulled glow on the wet patio paving. All day and throughout his journey home hed been looking forward to this moment. It wasnt often he was able to surprise his wife but having tied up the...

2 years ago
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Homecoming Meal Ch2

Cassie and Jenny almost ran home, both of them still highly aroused after their steamy encounter in the restaurant. ‘I can’t believe you gave that waitress your phone number, suppose she phones?’ Cassie remarked as they neared their house. ‘Did you see how turned on we made her, I bet she will finish work, go home and finger herself thinking about us.’ Jenny replied, adding ‘Besides if she did join us it would be fun!’ and with that she turned down the path that lead to the front door. As soon...

3 years ago
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Homecoming

The lit windows looked golden and inviting as my rig rumbled toward the little house at the end of the street. The place wasn’t much to look at and the neighborhood had seen better days. But fresh paint and flower boxes dripping with blue pansies made it feel cheerful and homey. Colleen’s eyes flitted anxiously over my shoulder when she opened the door. “I told you never to come here without calling first,” she hissed. She stepped past me to peer east and west. “My husband is due back any...

3 years ago
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Homecoming

2005 It was a hot, gritty night. The kind you experience only on the high desert. The long, flat highway rolled-out ahead as would a path through a mountain meadow. Except that here the peaks were rising towers of mist, the valley, sand, wind-blown off the desert floor across which the blue/gray Navy hearse was forced to crawl at snail-speed. A cloud enshrouded full moon did little to help either, unless you’re one of those strange souls for whom the spooky factor gets high marks. Under normal...

1 year ago
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Homecoming from the Sandbox

Hello there, my name is Brian and I just got back from a 10 month deployment overseas. 10 months is a long time to go without seeing any friends or family let me tell you. It is also a long time to go without fucking. Due to the rules of our deployment zone, there was absolutely no sex allowed. That and the lack of available women made sure that everyone slept alone at night. Of course I am no wuss so I used Skype and phone sex as often as I could. Phone sex, Skype, and even porn were not...

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