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October/23rd/2015

Waiting nearby in an alley, the equipment is checked and rechecked in a meticulous manner, the night vision goggles with the ability to switch to thermal and EMV(Electric Magnetic Vision), the flexible RYNO suit comfortably hugging his body, keeping his body temperature cool while in the humid air, and the brand new wrist computer which is his favorite new gadget. It has the resources to access any computer, remotely manipulate lights and cameras, well… anything with a current of electricity. It also holds all relevant info and data on his missions, has profiles, and 3-D maps of selected areas. The NAV will also tell him how exposed he is in light or dark. The new thing is that it’s a wireless connection to the equipment he carries. It increases the effectiveness of most of his gadgets and weapons, from controlling his suit’s flexibility, Kevlar, and system temperature, monitoring his weapons, selecting rates of fire, and different modes all for main weapons. The communication relay is included, so he can keep in touch with his boss. All of this is in the new NAV. Those features from a mini computer tied around his wrist with a screen the size of 2×2, and a body no less that a ¼ of an inch thick. Pure convenience. After making sure every thing is easily accessible on his suit. He changes the RYNO’s flexibility to its max by decreasing Kevlar performance. The black skin starts to loosen its grip on his body. He can feel the suit’s molecular mechanics change as the toughness morphs into flexibility. The mission requires the art of guile and stealth, rather broad and aggressiveness. Changing it to be more flexible will reduce the amount of effectiveness the Kevlar could have against reducing any damage to him, but since he doesn’t expect any resistance or toe-to-toe action, he’d rather be able to move freely to avoid any unnecessary confrontation with guards.

‘You there.’

‘Yeah, I’m here, ready and waiting.’ he replies.

‘Good, Listen up. Your mission is simple. Infiltrate their base of operations and see if they’re as serious as they talk. Your green to continue, rules of engagement are expected.’

The words of his boss were what he has been waiting for. There would be no Fifth Freedom on this mission. No reason to kill. The rules of engagement meant no deaths, avoid and disable is all he can do, when dealing with people. Fifth Freedom means he can do whatever is needed to complete his mission. Anything. With that in mind, he holsters his non-lethal weapon and quietly moves near the window. Checking the schematics of the building once more, he is reassured again of the route that will be taken. The route is short and will keep away from the security. He doesn’t want to interact with any of the patrolling men. Not at all. He isn’t afraid of the men, but rather, just wants to keep things like they should. Short and simple. If he was to disable or grab one of the men and interrogate them for info, the men would more than likely tell their commanding officer of the encounter with the spy and the enemy would be extra prudent and try much harder to be cautious. This is something that could alter later missions with this particular faction, and not for his benefit. So without knocking out men or disabling them, he must adapt to his surroundings and become a moving shadow, as well as learn the security patrolling routes and creep around them with no sound. Even with his training in espionage. The knowing of what lies ahead if he should screw up is not comforting. Just more motivation to stay sharp and smart. The words of his old Lieutenant coming from his own mouth.

Time to get moving. Using his optic cable, he slips it into the open window to spot any movement. None. Opening the window just enough he steps in quietly. He holds his position, listening to the noises. The room is a littered with papers, open boxes with file cabinets and a computer. Nothing worth taking a cursory look at. He walks to the open door. Most lights are off and he hears no cameras on a program search mode. Switching the goggles to thermal, then EMV. No cameras… not yet. Moving low to the ground, looking like no more than a shadow with movements of a snake. Not like slithering on the ground or anything, but moving fluidly and calmly, arms barely extending for precision balance, his legs crouching so he doesn’t make much noise walking. He moves down the hall looking into the empty rooms while he passes. Down the hall and to the left is a common area. Leaning his back against the wall, he peeks around the corner only to see a guard approaching him.

He steps back a few and leans into the wall and melts into it. Becoming part of the environment. The guard turns the corner and walks right by him. He returns to the corner, looks again, and moves to the door in the common area. At the door he puts the optic cable under the door and checks for any movement. Satisfied that no one is in the room, he takes out the lock picks and goes to work. Three pins and fifteen seconds later he unlocks the door and slips inside. Nearing the computer and turning it on, he accesses his NAV. He gets the NAV to connect to the computer and starts pressing buttons on the wrist gadget searching for the data. After hacking into the computer’s restricted files, he quickly finds the files he is looking for. Copying and closing out of the file uploads the spy software so it can monitor activity on the computer and send the details to a server in Washington. One down, three to go. Disconnecting from the computer he shuts it off and goes back to the door. He moves to the second hallway and heads toward the stairs.

Staying on the edge of the stair steps, he gets up two sets of stairs. Another guard is in the middle of the hallway with his flashlight on. Getting all the way up he moves to the right of the stairs near the railing. The guard turns around and walks toward the stairs. He climbs over the railing and holds on to the floor hanging above the first floor. The guard walks over to the railing and turns around. His back to him. The guard then heads down the stairs and he climbs over the railing, goes through the hall and stands in front of the second door on his left. Using the optic cable again under the door, he sees a man about to open the door to exit the room and enter the hall. He puts the optic cable away, moves away from the door and starts to run up the wall just to kick off the wall to do a split jump. With his legs apart and his feet against the wall of the narrow hall, he is about 6 feet off the ground measuring from the bottom of his boot to the floor. He keeps pressure against the wall to keep him elevated. As soon as he gets himself up, the man opens the door and walks into the hall.

He upholsters his non-lethal handgun, which can shoot a share of different assortments. Pick your poison: Sticky Shockers, which will basically short circuit the human body disabling him for many hours or Sticky Cameras that can be used as another pair of eyes for times when an area is not visible. The cameras can also lure an enemy with different sounds and songs to which he can use appropriately. The cameras also have a respectful amount of knock out gas and it also can explode with enough force to kill anyone within 5 feet of the camera, which is the size of a penny. He has airfoil rings loaded, which will knock an enemy out with a shot to the skull or make him dizzy with a shot to the chest or back. Aiming at the cranium the man just stands there. After 5 seconds of the guard standing, he walks down the hall passing underneath him. Looking behind he watches the man continue down the hall. Taking out keys he unlocks another door further down the hall. Once the patrolling guard opens the door, he enters and closes the door behind him. After releasing from the wall, he drops down barely making any sound, and uses his legs as shocks to absorb the fall. He walks back to the door and looks around him before proceeding to enter it. The optic cable revels that no one is on the oth
er side. Grabbing the lock picks and putting them into good use on the door lock, he gets it open fairly easy. Opening the door slowly he looks into the room and enters.

The room seems to be occupied by weapons, ammo, armor and equipment. Just more confirmation that this faction of men is in the business of dealing arms illegally. Snapping some pictures with his NAV and putting the new shots in the appropriate files, he then uploads them to the server for his boss. After rummaging the room, the computer becomes the priority. Turning the computer on and connecting the NAV wirelessly, he discovers the intended files and uploads them. Spy software installed, he turns the computer off. Everything is working great.

‘You there?’

‘Go ahead, Gladden.’ Gladden. His boss.

‘There is a vehicle approaching the compound with a high priority man riding passenger. Get to the garage. Don’t approach them. I assume you have your blue lights?’

‘Sure do.’ The blue lights he is referring to is a finger print scanner that can read fingerprints on most surfaces and then the prints are be sent to a database to be examined. It shines a blue fluorescent light. Once the fingerprints are visible it scans the fingerprints and saves them. Within three minutes of a fingerprint scan from this device Gladden gets a print out of the name, info, and history on the person the prints belong to. Gladden obviously wants to who the passenger is and probably why he is here. Well here in the compound.

‘Good get what we need so we can understand a little more of the situation. Continue with the mission all primary objectives stand. The new objective is secondary. Gladden out.’

The new order wasn’t a big deal or anything. He can improvise and adjust when needed, but he would need to study the 3-D map of the compound to get to the garage, since he wasn’t planning on going there. Right now though he had one more computer he would need to get to. Stepping to the door, he hears voices of two guards outside the door. The first guard is expressing his worry to the other.

‘I just don’t think this is smart.’

‘Why not, it means more money? More for the EG, you and me,’ the second guard rebuttals.

‘I know that, but it’s just that the EG is good at what it does because that’s all it does. Once we start trying to do more, taking on bigger tasks and riskier orders from our clients we’re… it’s just not going to end good. This stuff we are supplying is huge compared to small arms. We’re good at what we do, we might not be good at this. We are pushing the envelope for a quick buck. If the deal goes wrong is will be bad. Bad like people getting killed. It could be me or you who gets the short end.’ The first guard must have made a good point, since guard two didn’t respond right away.

‘Uh, I’m sure everything will be fine, stop worrying about everything. I gotta get back to my post.’

The two men leave in opposite directions in the hall. Peeking out the door he leaves the room to continue down the hall to the next room on his list. Moving to the next room he listens for any guards. The door leading to the desired room is at the end of the hall. Still a shadow he walks to the door, uses the optic cable, and looks for motion. Lock picks in hand the picks enter the lock. He shakes the picks to move each pin so the doorknob can turn. He should get an electric pick so picking locks is easier and much quicker. The little pick gun gets shoved in the lock and the gun vibrates to push the pins in the correct positions all at once instead of getting each pin one at a time. The thing is the electric pick is very noisy and leaves many marks in and around the lock signifying a forced or improper entry. Something that will make anyone observant enough to realize something is not right. Drawing any unwanted attention to yourself is unwise. So it’s reasonable to avoid it when possible. After hearing the click in the lock, he pushes the door open and slips inside. The room seems pretty empty. It’s more of a small office. Looking at the desk for anything extravagant that might help him with gathering info, and disappointed with his search, he goes right to the computer. The ritual is the same. With the files collected and software installed and running he looks at his NAV for a quick way to access the garage. Confident with his choice he moves to the nearby window.

Climbing outside he hangs on the windowsill and lets go. Falling one story he grabs on the windowsill that was once below him. Shimmying over to a small ledge, he gets himself to a pipe and slides down to the roof of the garage. On the roof he moves to the trap door. His optic cable is slid through the metal gratings. No one, but a car. He retracts the cable and lifts the door open. Hooking his rope securely he throws the rest of the rope down into the garage and slides down. In the garage he looks around quickly. Nothing important. At the car he uses the picks to gain entrance. With a pop, the car door opens. The blue light shines from the fingerprint scanner on the interior. In the back seat there are fingerprints near the cup holder. Perfect. The sound of a confirming beep hits his ears. Upload complete, time for extraction. Getting out of the car and locking it up again, he walks to the rope and grabs a hold of it. Climbing back upstairs he hears Gladden tell him that he has the identification of the man.

‘Good then I can come home now,’ he anxiously waits for a response. He thinks about how his duration in this country has been. He has been here for too long. He’d rather be in his home in Gilbert, Arizona. It’s been seven months since he has been in America. This mission was a last minute order from his superior. He had no choice but to comply. It would have taken too long to get another Asset here. It even took several weeks to plan and the mission has been delayed a couple of times due to complications of many personnel on the premises. In no way is he complaining, the desire to be home is just overwhelming now since his mission is complete.

‘Yes, you can come home, have a couple months vacation. Get to extraction and you’re on the first plane to Phoenix. You have done a great job so far, I’m happy you were able to solve the problem with the missing documents. It would have been disastrous for Britain if the location of their gold, while being transported, should happen be get in the wrong hands.’

‘Its my job Gladden,’ he replies while continuing to climb the rope nearing the top.

‘That’s right and you’re very good at it. Soon you will make Fisher seem like nothing more than a memory.’

‘I don’t think that could ever happen nor would I want it. He was the single greatest Cell ever. Its too bad what happened to him. I’m sure everyone who has any sorta intelligence knew that he was nothing short of a legend. He was the first Cell and the best. It was him who got be interested in this field.’

‘I know Fortin, I know. Just get back here and get some R and R. Gladden out.’

With no more to say and inches away from the roof, he pulls himself out of the trap door and on to the roof. He closes the door and heads north on the roof. He jumps from one building to the other making a 4 foot gap with ease. He uses an escape ladder to get back on ground and then stays in the alleys and shadows. He quickly gets to the extraction point. Feeling safe that no one will come to this deserted place he calls for his ride. A silent helicopter drops down and lands near him. Thirty seconds later he boards the helicopter and is heading toward the nearest airport. In one hour he will be on a plane in civilian clothes with an authorized fake ID. In one day he should be in his house. He couldn’t wait.

*

Write a review or vote. i wanna improve my writing skills. Thank you Deanna and Allison for editing my work!

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Chapter One Angela Boddiford had it all – a glorious house, an expensive car, the finest clothes, a fully stocked vintage wine cellar, and a filthy rich husband to pay for it all. Her house was staffed with people to cater to her every whim – a cook, two house cleaners, a pool boy, a gardener and a personal valet who took care of anything that she could possibly dream up. Her house was in the finest area of town, and if she had children, they would have gone to the most exclusive schools in...

4 years ago
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Todds Goodbye Fuck

Todd called, he was pissed and on his way over. Todd is bisexual and married.  We have had an on again and off again affair running on two and a half years.  Two and a half years of hot sex.  Times when I believed Todd would really leave Lori for me.  There were emotional outbursts, break ups and reconciliations followed by more emotional outbursts, break ups and reconciliations.  It was complicated.  Todd was pissed and I had enough. Todd thinks he owns me, and in someway he did.  Last night...

2 years ago
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SomeOdd Gift

James stood with a massive grin on his face, naked, his impressive man hood at attention. Across the room sitting on the couch, with a small coffee table between them, was his mother, who was bound and gagged. Never in his life did he think it would come to this, though he felt no remorse at that moment, only lust, only power. James was very glad that he had this new power, though he didn’t know where it had come from, not that it mattered. He was also glad that he gained something else new...

Mind Control
1 year ago
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Shodder Hills Crimes of the Father

Shodder Hills - Crimes of the Father By Jonny "We're almost there. Hurry up and finish sucking off that cock," Ms. Jenkins said. "And don't you dare get any of it on your face." Danielle picked up the pace and started sucking with gusto. Her blonde ponytail bounced in rhythm with her bobbing head. Her jaw was hurting from keeping her mouth stretched tight around the shaft for the entire trip. The faster she could draw the load out of the big black monster, the sooner she could...

2 years ago
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Shodder Hills The Academy Part 1

Shodder Hills - The Academy Pt. 1 Anthony couldn't breathe. Bound as he was, there was little he could do to change his situation. He squirmed and tried screaming out, but the muffled cries were lost into the brown pucker that rested against his lips. The panic grew as his situation became more desperate. The ass completely covered his face, so most of his senses were useless to him. "I will not tell you again," Ms. Jenkins said. At least Anthony could still hear, but as she...

2 years ago
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Shodder Hills Protecting Ones Turf Part 1

Shodder Hills - Protecting One's Turf Part 1 The sun's heat was baking into Cutter's brain. He realized he was dehydrated. If only he had some ice cold beers. Hell... he'd even settle for warm water. Messy blonde locks of hair hung in his eyes. Sweat and the heat caked much of it to his face. Loose strands swayed back and forth with the ongoing thumping motion. The hair partially blocking his line of sight. The strands brushed his lips and some had even worked their way into...

3 years ago
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Pookulomoddalu 2

Hi, im gopika, elavunnaru, memanta bagunnamu,attayya,kumarbava,kalpanavadina,anandannaya,mamayya andarambagunnamu, andariki dengudu anubavam bagundi, vadinanu,kumarbava,mamayya tukku tukku dengutunte,attayya,anandannayyato ante swanta alludito tukku tukku dengichukunedi, naa pooku inka pokkabadaledukada,ante nenu peddamanishini kaledukada inka anduku nenemo valla moddalu, valla pookulu nakada cheekadam tone saripotundi, naakemo dengichukovalani balesarada, naa pooku inkapagalledu emicheyali,oka...

3 years ago
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Pookulomooddalu4

Hi, im gopika, elavunnaru, naku chala messages, inka boothulundalani, ok,try chestunnanu, idi kuda nachutundi kadu, o.kena, story kelite,bava, attanu dengina taruvata, kalpana(vadina ),nenu t.v choostu elavundi vadi modda andi,bagundi, annanu, baga cheekava andi, sigupadutu nekela telusu, annanu, nakanta telusu, andi, ammanu, koduku dengadamemiti annanu, daniki,tanu, adadi ante magadi kosam puttinattu, dengichkovali, vadevarayaina okate, modda kavali ante, antu pooku meeda, dress pi nunde...

4 years ago
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Todd and Cindy

As my feelings of frustration and longing for sexual activity that involved something more than my hand increased, Cindy came around the corner. It was as if I couldn’t look hard and long enough to drink in her beauty. Long and hard, I thought, I would love to be long and hard with Cindy for a few hours or maybe a few days! Although Cindy was not strikingly beautiful in the classic sense of the word, she had what can only be described as sex appeal. She wasn’t overt; in fact she never...

3 years ago
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Odd Job

A mature mother/daughter threesome with Uncle Larry…ANOTHER FANTASY – I have been harvesting pictures long since forgotten on XH, which means the user has retired leaving pictures with titles that mean nothing and probably have not been seen since they were posted. Here is another of these, posted 8 years ago and barely a comment or a thumbs up, and my twisted old mind goes to work. I don’t know her, I don’t know who posted them, just old gold.I nearly jumped out of my skin as I walked through...

2 years ago
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Todds Goodbye Fuck

Todd called, he was pissed and on his way over. Todd is bisexual and married.  We have had an on again and off again affair running on two and a half years.  Two and a half years of hot sex.  Times when I believed Todd would really leave Lori for me.  There were emotional outbursts, break ups and reconciliations followed by more emotional outbursts, break ups and reconciliations.  It was complicated.  Todd was pissed and I had enough.Todd thinks he owns me, and in someway he did.  Last night he...

Gay Male
3 years ago
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  • 23
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Space Age Footjob

- Carmela and her boyfriend has been in bad terms the past couple of weeks.Nonstop arguments, Authorities being called because of alot noise and yelling Alot of suspicious movements her husband was doing like coming home late,always being defensive everytime she said something, finding bits and pieces of things that's evidence of him cheating or creeping around and she sick and tired of being sick and tired so she took some of her clothes and shoes and left. Now shes currently staying at her...

1 year ago
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Goddess Blessing

The Goddess' Blessing By Angie "kitn" Hughes Spring equinox had finally arrived, tonight was the night. The moon was nicely full, too, an added bonus. Tracy turned off the monitor on his computer and walked over to his personal altar. All the components for the spell he was researching were gathered and waiting. He looked around his room to be sure everything was in place, his bed neatly made, his clothes clean and put away, his floor clean as he could manage... All of the...

2 years ago
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Todd and Ashley Part 2

Ashley and Beth went into Ashley’s room and shut the door. “Your brother is fucking hot Beth," whispered to Ashley. “You should see him naked,” Ashley replied. Beth’s face turned bright red. “Oh my god! Are you serious?” “I have a picture if you want to see.” Beth’s heart began to beat really fast and her face was now burning from blush at the thought of Ashley keeping a naked picture of her brother. Ashley reached for the picture under her pillow. Beth was curiously aroused wandering why she...

Incest
1 year ago
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iXXX Handjob

Sometimes, you don’t want to see a group of dudes doubling down on some hot piece of ass. Nor do you want to watch lesbians making out like the world is about to end. You want to stick to the simple shit, like a handjob. If you’re in the mood for handjob videos and enjoy a huge as fuck resource, you need to check out iXXX.com/Handjob.Not precisely a tube site; it’s a place you can go to see handjob videos from other sites and sources. Think of it like an index pointing to handjob videos from...

Handjob Porn Sites
3 years ago
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Goddesses I was allowed to worship

Girl-worship has been my life, from the very first hard-on. Mostly I’d cum thinking about them, using the entries in my little black book recording what they’d worn that day, things they said and did. Occasionally I’d be lucky enough to get ‘lucky views’ as I call them, seeing a bulging jumper or even knickers. It was rare back then that I got the opportunity to spunk seeing them for real, but as I looked out my window every day after school, I was treated once or twice to the joy of seeing one...

2 years ago
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True Massage Parlor Story Chapter 1 Steph and My First Assjob

As with this first experience the girls are always nice and I get to do things that I don't get to do with my wife. The challenge in the past was sometimes girls are willing and not so hot or hot and not overly willing. When I first started going I thought all I could get was a hand job but over the years I learned that you can pretty much get whatever you are willing to pay for. So I’ve had blowjobs, assjobs (my favorite), tit fuck, hand jobs and even fucked girls. In case you’re...

2 years ago
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Tittyhawk The Wrath of Commander Titjob

in The Wrath of Commander Titjob Evolution. Selecting mates based on favorable characteristics. In the not too distant future, Humans have begun to evolve. The favorable characteristics? Sexual prowess. The next evolution of Mankind is here... ...and it wants to fuck your brains out. Willing or no... Book 1 The City. Bustling with activity... and crime. And the HAWK. 5'3” tall with raven black hair, large perky breasts and pale skin like marble, Tittyhawk is the Dark...

3 years ago
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A Summer Job

The summer before I left for college, I was trying to make extra money. Besides my full time job at a nearby Amusement Park (Action Park for those who care), I had put flyers in the mailboxes of my neighborhood offering my services for yard work, pet care, etc. As it was summer, a number of people had called me to care for their pets while they went on vacation. Around the middle of July, a couple that had recently moved into the neighborhood called to see if I was available to watch their...

3 years ago
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Training Jobbers

The Underground Women’s Fight League (UWFL) is a premium fight club for wealthy viewers. The use of the word “fight” is somewhat of a misnomer, as they mainly cater to what their fans like to see: one-sided brutal beatdowns. There are two stables of participants which clearly differentiate their roles - “fighters” and “jobbers”. Patrons can still bet on the matches, but never on the outcome. Instead, they make bets on how long the jobbers can last, how many blows the various parts of their...

BDSM
3 years ago
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Brojobs

You were a pretty innocent guy before you became a porn addict but the transition was swift and dramatic. The first time your brother showed you porn it was a decidely homoerotic affair. He held his phone while you were both shoulder to shoulder in your shared bedroom, each sharing an earphone so your parents couldn't hear and sitting on the bed. You were both already hard as he scrolled through the videos and suddenly the tension in the air became too much to ignore - he stopped scrolling on a...

Bisexual
2 years ago
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I LOVE GIVING ASSJOBS

I have been sat for ages trying to think of an eye-popping, gripping title for my sex experience giving ass jobs but truth be told I couldn’t think of anything more truthful and simple than the actual truth, I love giving Assjobs and although I am still fairly new to them, it’s my new favorite thing to do for a guy and it has always made the guy I’m with moan with joy.WHAT IS AN ASSJOB?Just in case you don’t know and you have stumbled across this article, a quick breakdown is that an Assjob or...

3 years ago
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Caught my young neighbor giving a blojob

That late evening, I was coming back from my office, where my Boss had tied to my desk under a huge pile of paperwork.I was really tired, wishing to get home and take a warm shower.Ana was not there; she flew to Buenos Aires, to visit her mother.As I approached our driveway, I heard some groans and muffled moans from a couple there hiding in the shadows of the alleyway of my next house neighbor…I was curious, so I took a quick look; but I then was totally shocked, as I noticed it was Lana, our...

1 year ago
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Best Friend gives the best Footjobs

Yesterday my best friend was at my place. We watched some movies on TV. I was on the end of the couch ans she was laying down. I had her feet on my lap. I couldn't resist looking at them, the whole time. She noticed at a moment, that I was looking at those perfect feet and she asked me, why I was looking...I told her that her socks were kinda dirty (it was dark so she couldn't tell). So she removed her socks and put her bare feet on my lap again. At that time I knew, I couldn't just look. I...

2 years ago
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Knobsworth not a jobsworth

This was when I had only been a taxi driver for a few months... I was recently married and the world was good, I had a window cleaning round and it made me about £25 a day,After a few more than several years, my wife had gone fat and she never had given me a true full swallow BJ . Now back in 1978 that was pretty good money, no boss but myself , an old Singer Gazelle with a replaced and yet unpainted front wing..probably worth a fortune now but it had the effect of making me look like Hard...

2 years ago
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being a dj dreamjob

yes.its a dreamjobplaying musicpeople having fun...............dancing...... drinking ....fucking all the girls is a dream for every mansometimes its true .......you can fuck all night long...in your dreams....................lol.most is airport ,,car in.....car out......play music.... airport...again....hotelrooms.............[boring hotelrooms] but sometimes there is a bright star........... smiling at you.. a lovely lady her smile is true and honest eyes like an angelthe hotelroom isnt...

1 year ago
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JordansJob

Eric was looking down at his best friend Jordan, all five foot six of him. His friend’s piercing blue eyes stood out from his long black hair looked greasy and unwashed mostly due to him wearing eyeliner. That and his old Metallica shirt and baggy pants. They were having another argument about money, just like they seemed to be having weekly now. Eric sighed pinching his nose before talking. “Look, I know the job market is tough right now though my patience is wearing thin, Jordan. Your band...

Transsexual
1 year ago
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April Fools Diary Mr Jobsworth

13 May 202112 May 2021I was so super-doopery excited last night that I could barely sleep. Not only was I a plugged princess and a conquesting adult, but tomorrow I was to start my journey from perky, pokie, sodden-cunted, schoolgirl to a future life as a worker bee receiving money for servicings rendered. For tomorrow was Careers Advice Day and I had a morning appointment with the Career Advisor, Mr Jobsworth. What would I be? A blogger? A vlogger? A cunty snogger? An influencer? A...

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