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Present – Samantha – In the woods
As I wake up (yes my darling husband Frank let me take a little nap) my nose goes crazy and I question, "Is someone cooking bacon?"
Frank replies, "I thought I smelled bacon too."
I sit up and sniff, my stomach growls and I continue, "Hell yes, now I'm sure it's bacon. I wish we had some."
Frank adds, "Well after the feral hogs found our camp last night by the smell of our food, I would hate to be the ones cooking bacon today because that smell will attract every animal for miles."
My stomach growls again and I whine, "Well I still wish we had some."
I get up, stretch, catch my husband watching me and accuse him with a grin, "I know exactly what's on that lecherous mind of yours."
He grins back and declares, "Hey, we're married so it's not lecherous."
I get ready to tease the hell out of him with my answer, but we hear a noise and Frank yells, "Incoming!"
Present – Ben – In the woods
I wake up to the smell of bacon, look over the makeshift hammock and son-of-a-bitch Stacy is cooking breakfast! What the hell does she think she's doing - this is going to attract everything for miles around and she might have just signed our death warrant. I get ready to lay into her when I remember my thoughts of last night - the ones about becoming my dad and I decide I have to stop being the same kind of asshole as he was.
When I start climbing out of the tree, Stacy sees me and joyfully announces, "Ben because you did such a good job making me a wonderful bed last night and then standing watch. I decided to make you breakfast."
Yeah with her attitude I'm glad I didn't give her a ration. I would have just done to her what my old man did to me. I fake a smile and say, "Thanks Stacy it smells wonderful." And I quickly do a thorough threat assessment of the area, then I relax slightly when I don't detect any threats.
She brings me a plate of food, follows it with another damn kiss on the cheek then hops away to get her food. I can't help but feel we're being watched so I walk a close perimeter while eating my food.
Present – Stacy – In the woods
When I first saw Ben, I thought he was really angry at me about something. But then he seems better but not happy like I thought he would be. I mean I worked really hard on this breakfast and now he's walking around and eating his. I hoped we could sit together and talk.
Well, I'm enjoying this wonderful meal even if Ben is acting like a skittish horse. I'm about half way through the plate of bacon, eggs and pancakes when I see...
Present – Ben – In the woods
Stacy freezes, points with her fork behind me and says, B ... B ... Bear!"
I turn and sure enough there's a bear behind me! But something isn't right, because it's not a black bear it's sort of brown colored. He's sitting on his haunches looking at us and Stacy whispers, "Ben if you aren't going to shoot it I am."
Oh great Stacy finally grows a pair and at the exact wrong time. I order, "Stacy, right now he's not being a threat so let's not start something. Besides, he's wearing a collar."
We stare at each other, then the bear does the most amazing thing...
Present – Stacy – In the woods
I can't believe it, the bear stands up on his hind feet and salutes Ben. Ben returns the salute and the bear then pats it's stomach. Ben questions, "Stacy do we have any more food?"
I reply, "Hell yes I figured the eggs would go bad so I cooked up enough damn food to feed an army."
Ben asks, "Get a good sized plate ready for me."
I begin to get it ready and question, "Are you really sure about this, after all he is a bear."
Ben says, "Well I remember reading something years ago about a bear that saluted but I'll be damned if I can remember the details. Since he's the only damn animal that hasn't tried to kill us I'm hoping that we have a new friend. By the way where the hell are Bo and Patches?"
I finish with the plate, walk over to Ben, grab his elbow and reply, "I let them go a bit ago to forage because they'd eaten all the grass around here. I wanted to check with you before I gave them any grain."
Ben takes the plate and says, "Well you're the horse girl so you know best about that." Then he orders, "Ten hut!"
Amazingly the bear stands to its feet and looks like a soldier standing at attention then salutes Ben again. Ben returns the salute walks toward the bear (I get really nervous and pull my pistol but this time I make sure to keep my finger off the trigger). He sets the plate on the ground and the bear still acts likes he's standing at attention. Ben says, "Fall out." and the bear goes after the food like crazy.
Ben turns, walks toward me while smiling and says, "Now that's one smart bear, much smarter than your damn monkey. By the way thanks for covering me but you can put your pistol away."
I look past Ben, notice the bear's finished with his food and looks like he's a soldier again. I comment, "Ben, your bear needs something."
Present – Ben – In the woods
Damn I know I read about a fucking bear like this before, now where the hell was it and what the hell were the details? I swear sometimes I can't remember shit. Stacy says the bear needs something, so I turn and see he's at attention again. I look at him and order, "Fall out." The bear sits down I notice his collar and tell Stacy, "I'm going to look at the tag on his collar."
Stacy worries, "Ben are you sure you want to get that close to him?"
I wisecrack, "He's safer than most women I know."
She complains, "I sure hope you aren't including me in that group."
I don't answer but think to myself that she's number two in the group. I walk up to the bear and say, "I'm just going to look at your collar."
I reach down, look at the tag and it says, 'Wojtek III Iranian Brown Bear.'
Then I remember and announce, "Stacy this is Wojtek III he must be the grandson of the original Wojtek."
Stacy asks, "Who or what is a Wojtek? Is that some sort of Russian satellite?"
I chuckle under my breath and tell her the story that I now remember, "In the early part of World War II, a local boy found a bear cub near Hamadan, Iran. He was hungry and sold it to the soldiers of the Polish Army stationed nearby for a couple of canned meat tins. As the bear was less than a year old, he initially had problems swallowing and was fed with condensed milk from an emptied vodka bottle. The bear became quite an attraction for soldiers and civilians alike, and soon became an unofficial mascot for all units stationed nearby. Because of this, he was officially drafted into the Polish Army and was listed among the soldiers of the 22nd Artillery Supply Company of the Polish II Corps. With the company he moved to Iraq and then through Syria, Palestine, Egypt, and to southern Italy."
I took a breath, thought for a second and continued, "The bear was fed with fruits, marmalade, honey and syrup, and was often rewarded with beer, which became his favorite drink. He enjoyed wrestling and was taught to salute when greeted. As one of the officially enlisted "soldiers" of the company, he lived with the other men in their tents or in a special wooden crate transported on trucks. According to numerous accounts, during the Battle of Monte Cassino, Wojtek helped his patrons by transporting ammunition – never dropping a single crate. In recognition of the bear's popularity, the HQ approved an effigy of a bear holding an artillery shell as the official emblem of the 22nd Company."
Stacy questions, "Ben are you lying to me again?"
I laugh and say, "No way! This is true and when we get to civilization you can look it up on the internet."
Stacy gets ready to say something when Bo and Patches come crashing through the bushes making a beeline towards Wojtek. I face Bo, hold out my hands and yell, "That's enough Bo, this bear is smarter than your average bear."
Grace
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