TNABoard free porn video

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TNA Board? This next one is going to be a real dream come true to all you airport masturbators who love waiting in line, taking off your shoes and belt, and having some fat guy stare at your naked genitals and man-boobs through an x-ray scanner. Wait, hold on. I misread the site’s name. This is actually TNABoard. It has nothing to do with the TSA, but you can still use it to get your package groped by a firm, leather-clad hand.

TNABoard.com has been around for a little over a decade, and they pull about 5,000 visitors a day. Most of them are perverts like you, looking for a sex worker to suck them off, ride their pogo stick, or step on their balls while calling them a dirty, dirty boy. The rest of those visitors are the escorts, erotic masseuses, and stern dominatrixes itching to sell you their services.

Tits in AdverTruthing, or Something

TNABoard’s mascot is a cartoon succubus in red lingerie with a matching red tail, horns, and pitchfork. I’m sure TNA stands for Tits n’ Ass, like it does in the entire rest of the porn universe, but they’ve also got an alternate definition next to the logo: Truth iN Advertising. It’s kind of wonky and makes me wonder if they even know how an acronym works, but I get it. It’s a noble goal, because a site like this is worthless if it’s just full of fake ads with fake pictures of fake prostitutes who want your real money.

There are a lot of international escort sites out there, but this ain’t one of them. Americans or visitors to the country can find plenty of tail for sale, but the rest of you should check out something else from my list of Escort Sites. Listings here are categorized broadly into East and West regions, and then further into States.

Here’s where things get a little clumsy. On any other American escort site, the States break down further into Cities or at least major metropolitan areas. Instead, the State listings here are broken down into post about Providers, Fetish, LMA and LMS, Weekend, Reviews, ISO, and Discussions. These categories are all well and good, but American states are fucking big. While TNABoard’s setup would work just fine for browsing sluts in a bunch of little European countries, Americans would benefit enormously from just one more level of geographic specificity.

Get a Hooker, Plus Boner Pills and “Free” Cam Shows

My spam blocking plugin is always on by default. I stick my dick into a lot of seedy websites, so you better believe I’m always going to use protection. I didn’t expect I needed it for TNABoard, because escort sites generally don’t have spam. The bandwidth is paid for by the hookers who are paying for the listings.

Naturally, I was a little intrigued when my blocker started counting the ads it knocked down. Not only was my plugin fighting the good fight, my browser was even getting in on the action. That doesn’t happen very often, but when I clicked the icon in the URL bar Chrome told me this site shows misleading ads. Good to know!

I turned off my blocker and my browser’s protection for a minute, just to see how bad things were here. It honestly wasn’t as bad as I was expecting, but I did get random pop-unders for LiveJasmin and shit like that. I doubt it will really interfere with too many people’s quest for a paid pounding, even if it is fucking annoying and completely atypical for an escort listing site.

Oh, Come the Fuck On with This Shit!

The spam and the fact that you can’t break down listings by City have given me a bad first impression of TNABoard, but they’re not even the worst part of the site I’ve seen so far. This next major, potentially deal-breaking issue is another problem you’ll find on TNABoard but not on other prostitute sites.

The front page has some Featured Providers in a little box with some scandalous thumbnails. There is a thick redheaded showing off her cleavage, a Thai bitch in black lingerie, and a hot MILF laying in bed wearing nothing but some cleverly placed hands over her naughty bits. I can see why they’re Featured, but I really want a better look at the sweet young thing kneeling on a bed.

I clicked the petite chick, hoping to see some even more revealing and bigger shots of her and find out where she lives and works. The thumbnail is a little small to tell, but I get the feeling this slut might be worth spending that bag of pennies I’ve been saving up on.

TNABoard denied me with a big error message and login screen. I’m not logged in, so I don’t have permission to access this page.

This is serious fucking bullshit. The vast majority of escort sites on my list do not make you sign up or register to view the listings or even the contact information.

I know a lot of you have already stopped reading, as you probably should, but I’m The Porn Dude so I’ll take one for the team and sign up. I really hope this is worth it, but I have a feeling I’m just subscribing to a constant stream of boner pill and fake Rolex spam emails.

Trying to Get Laid with Outdated Tech

The registration page asks for your birthday and says they’re going to send you a birthday wish once a year. Oh, gee, thanks. That’s exactly what I wanted. My mom stopped sending me cards years ago, but this website full of blonde prostitutes and BBW call girls is going to remind me whenever I’m a year closer to death. TNABoard requires that you’re at least 18 to sign up. The given reason is because some third-party content might have graphic material, not because TNABoard is a place to buy pussy.

The intrusive registration is quick, at least. Within a minute I had access to the Member List Search. This is where you check off your desires and hope TNABoard has a girl for you. I looked for a local girl with Red or Blonde hair, a Slim Body Type, A Lot of Piercings and a predilection for Cigarette Smoking. In my experience, those kind of girls get really freaky. TNABoard doesn’t have checkboxes for the sexual acts you’d like to experience tonight, so there’s going to be some guesswork on your part.

My search results came back with one fucking member. I altered my search to include more body types and hair colors, and still only got one fucking member. There was a checkbox to find TNA Verified members, but that’s clearly a joke if I can’t even find more than one non-verified escort in my major metropolitan area. We’ve got multiple airports, so I’m 100% positive we have multiple hookers in this town.

The Wrong Format for Picking Up Lot Lizards

I wonder if all of TNABoard’s issues stem from the fact that the whole thing is set up like a bulletin board instead of a massive, well-organized and searchable list of escorts like you get on other sites. The format here just has so many inherent flaws that get in the way of finding what you’re looking for. I just gave these fuckers my email address and couldn’t even find more than one girl to bang tonight. Sure, I’ll get a GIF of a birthday cake at some point, but I’m more of a creampie dude.

There are certain advantages to the system, I guess, but they’re not of much use to the John in need. There are active discussions on fetishes, sports and stupid-ass Donald Trump, which you were almost definitely not looking for today.

I’m a little bit surprised TNABoard.com has been around this long. If you’re looking for an escort, one of the other sites on my list will serve you so much better. This one is spammy, the listings are light and sorted horribly, and you have to register to even look. What the fuck, TNABoard?

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It wasn't until I went on a vacation that it finely came true. I had gone up north to stay at a cabin on Lake Tahoe. Everything was beautiful and clean. I had just finished unpacking, and need a shower. The lake looked so cool and inviting. Realizing that no one was around, I stripped all my clothes off and ran down to the crystal blue waters of the lake diving into the blissfully cool water without a moments hesitation. Pure bliss! Somewhat shocked by the sudden cold of the water, for a...

2 years ago
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Me My Girlfriend and Her Best Friend Part One

Prologue: I was 19 years old in the summer of 1999. It was a Saturday night when my girlfriend Belinda and I went to a party at my friend Chuck?s house. It was like any of the dozens of parties at his place during that summer. At least, it started out that way. It was an unusually cold night for summer in west Texas. I remember Belinda was wearing jeans and a black sweater that clung tightly around her slim waist and b-cup breasts. Her long light brown hair hung in loose spirals down...

2 years ago
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Club Sex

On a cool October night, you and I are hangin' at The Co-op having a few drinks and enjoying each others company with a sprinkling of intense, tantalizing kisses...After a good bout of kissing, I ask if you would like to go somewhere a little more private...You say you would love that, so I take your soft hand in mine and lead you upstairs into the office of the club..Luckily, I have a key, because the door is locked. We go in and after putting a CD in the computer, we settle on one of the...

3 years ago
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Over the Hills and Faraway Book 2 RelationshipsChapter 15 The Beginning of the End

A few days after Annabel's visit Pippa received notice that her thesis had been approved and that she would be awarded a Doctorate of Philosophy in Social Anthropology. She organised a night out to celebrate with her university friends and work colleagues, I was invited to join them but had declined. "This is for you Academics to celebrate; I would stick out like a sore thumb amongst you. Go and enjoy it with those who've helped you with all the research and such, anyway I'm on duty that...

4 years ago
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Jaynes First Time

Just started my first year at college. I am out with friends, they are all talking about their first experiences of having sex. I don't let on that I am only a virgin, but I ache to know what it is like to experience that kind of thing. My boyfriend and I have been going together since high school. He is 20 and has never pushed me into doing anything. My parents have always talked about me waiting, until I get married, but my body is telling me other things. The rest of the day during...

4 years ago
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Mans Best Friend

Man’s Best Friend I had nothing planned. It was supposed to be my normal Sunday afternoon – put the TV on, find some sport to provide some background noise… and catch up on some work, maybe even have a beer or two. I’m not saying I had my priorities right but life had been that way for a few years now, not enough hours in the work week to keep up, so my Monday morning started on Sunday afternoon. I didn’t quite live alone, my faithful, ageing, companion was a Black Labrador called Ben who I’d...

Straight Sex
4 years ago
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1 Stormy MondayChapter 17

There were three days left in music camp, and Morton Blakely wasn't looking forward to going home. The reason? Patty Robertson. To his peers in high school, Morton fit the classic definition of a geek. But his "geek type" depended on the class where they encountered him. In math class he was a math geek. To others he was a computer geek. He was also known as a music geek and a science geek. Few realized the breadth of his geek-ness. He had a few close friends, but he was a curve wrecker...

4 years ago
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evil slave girl

I'll start by saying, I have been in the local BDSM Scene now for some 20 odd years, about 3 years back, at HF, I was to cane a real pain puppy, as this was something she had worked herself up to for 8 weeks, the deal was I would give her 250 strokes, what I didn't know at the time was, she had a gf from another city with her that night.This gf is now my collared slave, my property. All that happened that night at our first meeting was I gave her a very nice little spanking on the A-Frame.We...

4 years ago
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The Tyrant

“Ruth for heaven’s sake will you please hurry up. You’reworking at a snail’s pace today. I don’t pay you to act like you’re sleep-walking.” I bite my tongue and count to ten. I don’t know how I keep my cool sometimes, on days like this Alexis can be the bitch from hell, and the worst boss imaginable. “Yes Alexis. I get the message.” I’ve worked here at The Ark for just over two years. It once had a reputation as the best Restaurant in town, but things have slipped over the past year. The...

Quickie Sex
4 years ago
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An Angel for ChristmasChapter 1

Gina has always been attracted to other women. When she was a teenager she hid a porno magazine under her mattress so she could masturbate looking at those beautiful, naked girls. Playboy was her favorite magazine. They had the best centerfolds. Now that she was an adult, she would sneak her husbands’ magazines and masturbated to them almost every night while he was at work. She couldn’t seem to stop thinking about having a female lover. But, she could never tell her husband. Max would probably...

Bisexual
3 years ago
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Renees Internship Part 4

When Lauren arrived back in the house Renee was dressed and ready to go to work. She asked about the trouble at the restaurant but Lauren wouldn't talk about it. All she said was that it was a conflict and it was now resolved. Renee let it drop as she prepared their lunch.Lauren noticed Renee seemed to be a bit quieter than normal. She thought it must have been the yoga since it was her first time. It took some prodding from Lauren to get Renee to actually sustain a conversation as they ate....

Lesbian
4 years ago
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Family Girl Part 8

Family Girl Copyright (c) 2011 by Cody Although many elements of this story are fiction, much of it is based on my real-life experiences coming of age in the mid- to late-70's. Disclaimer: this story contains subjects that are not suitable for all audiences, such as underage sex, homosexuality and references to incest. If such things are illegal in your area, stop reading now. If such things offend you, I can't help but to wonder: what were you were thinking when you accessed this...

3 years ago
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Rendezvous Pt I

Rendezvous It started out as a typical Saturday, with not much going on except a couple of phone calls that weren’t of any consequence. Lounging on my sofa, listening to some music, and reading Catch-22 seemed like a proper way to allot my time. Steely Dan was wafting through the speakers when there was a soft tapping at my door. I sure as hell hoped it wasn’t some damn Jehovah’s Witness trying to sell me Jesus. Christ isn’t for sale, as far as I know, and a theological discussion with some...

1 year ago
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SexAndSubmission Giselle Palmer Anal Blackmail

When Blonde beauty Giselle Palmer’s husband is out of town on the campaign trail she gets a visit from a masked man (Ramon Nomar) who is very unhappy about what her husband is planning. Accusing him of trafficking drugs and money he convinces Giselle her husband will go to jail if he doesn’t stop! Being a good wife she will do anything it takes to keep her husband out of trouble so she must submit to this masked intruder in every way. Giselle gets on her knees to worship Ramon’s...

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