The BeginningChapter 3
- 2 years ago
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My Porn Bible! At a time when new porn sites are springing into action left and right, we need a place where all of those websites are kept in a single place. Or rather, a website where we can explore all the different options when it comes to each category of porn websites. We all know about the most popular porn sites out there, but what if I wanted to find out something new, a porn site that I’ve never even heard of. Well, the answer is here in the form of porn index websites. Today we’re looking at the best porn index website in the world, ThePornDude.com!
Welcome to the poor man’s TPD
Oh, wait, no, we’re not talking about my site. Never mind then, which site are we talking about again? Ah yes, MyPornBible.com, the poor man’s TPD. I mean I’m not trying to pick on the guys over at My Porn Bible, but let’s be real, my site already exists, so every other porn index site is really not even needed. But hey, this one exists so I guess I should see what it has to offer. Probably not a lot, and definitely not anything that I don’t offer already so we’re safe on that front.
Best Google+ porn, you’ve got to be kidding me
Oh wait, this place does offer something that I don’t. The Most Followed Google+ porn pages… Really dawg? You’re going to hit me with that Google+ bullshit? I don’t think a single person in the entire world ever thought to themselves: “Huh, I guess I’ll go and get my porn content on Google+. Yes, that seems like the best place to do it”. Heck, even Tumblr makes more sense, and Tumblr fucking banned NSFW content! Well, at least they did right now, we still have to see if they’ll stand the test of time.
Man, I remember when all the best indie porn art was on Tumblr. Now all of it is gone. Ah well, I guess it’s back to Newgrounds then. Do you guys remember when that was a thing? Yeah, I member. But times have changed and now we’ve got actual websites and we can enjoy all the porn content that we could ever wish for and we don’t have to rely on social media platforms, and we certainly don’t have to rely on Google+ pages. Weren’t they supposed to shut that shit down anyway?
This place is way too pink for anyone’s taste
Either way, I’m getting sidetracked here. Let’s get back to MyPornBible.com and why it sucks ass. Alright, I’m sorry, I’m being a bit too direct here. No, but really, can anyone explain to me why this place exists when you’ve already got my porn index haven? I guess this place is good for fans of… I don’t know pink? And Google+? Hey, I’m trying my hardest here to rationalize this cause it just isn’t going in my head right now. I guess I’ll have to dissect this place further and see if it has any redeeming qualities to it.
Alright so as far as the design is concerned, it’s really pink. That’s about all I can say about it. I guess it’s great for those of you that enjoy the color pink, aka faggots. I mean, I’m not trying to stereotype colors here, but we can all safely say that pink is totally gay. Like I don’t think there’s one thing about pink that makes it in any way neutral. So, there you go, MyPornBible.com is being run by a bunch of faggots. If you think that this is a good source for finding out about straight content, then I don’t know what to tell you.
Remember to bookmark this website… or don’t
Also, check out this little subliminal message at the top. I bet you didn’t notice it from the giant cock in their logo. It says to Ctrl+D in order to bookmark this website. Or, you know… don’t. Hah, why would you bookmark this lame ass site? If you really need to bookmark a site, bookmark a real man’s site. Heck, even if you’re a gay dude go ahead and bookmark a real gay man’s dude site, cause we’ve got that too over at TPD. We’ve got special graphics for it and everything. And no, they don’t include a giant cock in our logo like you’ve got it here.
No dark more here folks
You also don’t have the option to go dark mode here. That’s a bummer if you’re not a fan of pink and in fact, your eyes hurt from staring at this god awful color for too long. God help you if you’re viewing this website at night. And let’s be real for a second here, when do you watch your porn anyway? During the day? Yeah, maybe on a Sunday. Usually, night time is meant to be porn time, and I understand that, which is why on my site you can always go on dark mode and browse your favorite sites in peace.
Not that many categories to choose from
But this site doesn’t work on a whole different level too. It just doesn’t have that many index categories as I do. I managed to find every single category that I can muster and then I pretty much doubled them with the gay version of my site. Here, you’ve barely got a few good categories to scrape by, and one of the categories is Google+ even which I don’t even know what the hell is going on there. I know I already talked about this, but what made them think that adding that was a good idea?
Amateurs don’t even know where to properly categorize certain sites
Not only that, but they got some of their categories wrong. Now I’m not gonna say too much as to not help them realize their stupid mistakes, as they’re obviously not professionals when it comes to porn. But let’s just say that a certain website doesn’t really belong in the category that they put it in. And that was just at first glance, I didn’t want to go too deep into what they were doing in some of the bigger categories on MyPornBible.com.
At least it’s free, so there’s that
Is there anything that these guys did that’s right on MyPornBible.com? Well, they did one thing right, and that’s the fact that it’s free, and there aren’t any ads on it. At least that’s something. Imagine the arrogance that you’d need to have in order to put ads on this garbage. But I guess ads are a big deal to them since every single review at the top right of the page has a little not stating whether there are too many ads on that specific porn website or not. I don’t know how they’d even measure that, it seems like a completely subjective thing.
So yeah, when all is said and done, this website is just completely unneeded. The only reason why you’d go there is cause it’s free, but then again, my site is free too so… I’m not suggesting anything I’m just saying you’re speaking with a pro here. And I’ve got way more categories. And I’ve got dark mode. But enough about me. MyPornBible.com is an okay site for porn indexing and finding out new porn sites if you don’t intend on using the industry leader, also known as The Porn dude (that is moi).
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ASMR Porn SitesThe next morning Pete was back to his old self and of the opinion that half a day's worth of misery was well worth the knowledge he had gained. Now it was time to Implement the first part of his plan and take control of his house. No one was up when Pete made his way to his lab. Well, Pete was up, of course, or he couldn't have made his way anywhere since he had never been a sleepwalker and he wasn't about to become one. Let's just say that no one else was up when Pete made his way to...
Mark had a thing about rubbing his dick since before he could talk,his momenjoyed telling of his obsession and how after slapping his hand so manytimes gave up and let him rub to his hearts content.Of course his dadthought it was nothing more then the boy coming out.Mark was able to eject cum at the ripe age of ten and a half,much soonerthan most boys and was delighted at his first sight of the white silkycream.Of course as you might suspect,he had to sample it and grew fond ofit's taste.Mark...
As the camera rolled, the one and only, Kirsten Dunst was rolling around wrapped in duct tape. Her screams were muffled because her mouth was taped shut securely. She had a scared look in her eyes as she rolled off the bed trying to escape somehow as the cameraman taped her quietly. Previously Kirsten was kidnapped by two women who were masked, in an alley. Kirsten continued to squirm as the door...and out came NAUGHTY HOLLY and BERLIN. These two were famous for their fart videos. They had once...
FetishI wasn’t looking for companionship. In fact, I was tired from a long day helping a team at a famous cancer hospital revamp the material and information flow of their diagnostic testing department. But when I saw her sitting at a tall table by the fire, I was intrigued. I think it was her beautiful, long, grey hair. She sat straight and proud, her hair hanging down almost to her waist, holding a cup of tea between her hands and staring at the flames. I guessed she was at least sixty, but her...
BisexualFlashback – Ben – Wrong place... There's nothing like being in the wrong place at the right time! A crazy-assed terrorist charged Jack and Masha and it could only mean one thing: He was another fucking suicide bomber and had them in his sights. Once a suicide bomber gets close enough to you, there is no winning because he will take you out. And he was almost close enough to Jack and Masha! They wisely turned tail and ran while I continued to provide cover fire and wished I had something...
You are John. You are 18. The apple of your eyes name is Shirley and she is the most gorgeous woman you have ever seen. She is 5'4 and very slim. She has large breasts and and nice shapely, firm ass. You would be happy to marry this woman and just listen to her talk every day for the rest of your life. The only problem is that she is your mom.
IncestIt was mid-afternoon when I heard the warning bell ring and I rushed from the cashel, buckling my sword belt on. "Scott, don't do anything stupid. Come back to me, please!" Kirsty cried as she realised what was afoot. "Don't fret princess, get yourself to the hiding place we prepared, I will be able to function better knowing you're safe." I ran down towards the bay, pleased to see the islanders performing their allotted tasks as we had planned. I had begun to wear a kilt in the...