BedPage free porn video

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Bed Page! What could be better than perusing my website, finding a really sweet porn tube full of free smut, and then furiously stroking yourself to a mind-boggling, explosive climax? How about getting some hot slut to do that stroking for you? Maybe you can even upgrade from the handy to a full-fledged, full-completion oral massage. I guess it just depends on what the erotic masseuse happens to be offering and how much cash you’ve got in your pocket. Whatever the case, BedPage can help you find the right massage for your needs and budget.

BedPage.com popped up just a couple years ago, perhaps as a response to the crackdown on sites like Craigslist and Backpage. Hell, they’ve got a whole page linked in their footer that goes on about their effectiveness as a Backpage replacement. All those horny Johns and people with chronic knots in their back from desk work had to go somewhere, right? BedPage is pulling a few million hits per month, so it looks like I found where a lot of those displaced users went.

Erotic Massages and Used Cars in Your Neighborhood

The landing page to BedPage.com looks pretty much exactly like Craigslist or Backpage. It’s a huge list of cities around the world, broken down by country, province, and state. Most of the cities are in the United States, but they’ve got a pretty fucking huge selection of locations basically everywhere. You can even find an escort in Middle Eastern countries where I’m pretty sure they cut your fucking head off for banging sluts.

Once you choose a city, you’ll go to that location’s portal. There you’ll find all kinds of broad categories for their classified listings. BedPage has all the typical shit you’d expect, from used car sales to musician wanted ads, to “business opportunities” that are mostly pyramid schemes for housewives who don’t mind preying on each other for embarrassingly small amounts of cash and a stockpile of leggings and vitamins in the garage.

There are all kinds of sexual services available on the website, from phone sex operators and strippers, to tranny escorts and dominatrix sluts who won’t touch your cock unless they’re whipping it or kicking it with a savage boot. Today, I’m going to focus on the erotic massage listings on the site.

Two Sections Full of the Same Listings

I loaded up BedPage looking for a beautiful woman with very talented hands who I could pay to touch me all over. The first thing I noticed was that these listings are actually filed under two different categories. The site would do really well to merge these, because you’re going to have to look through both of them if you really want to assess your erotic massage options for the evening.

The Adult listings for each city break down into a bunch of sexy categories like Adult Jobs, Dom and Fetish, and Escorts. This is where you’ll find the section of Bodyrubs listings.

You will find very similar and often overlapping listings for kinky massage artists filed under the Massage category of BedPage’s Services. Yeah, I agree: it’s fucking stupid and a pain in the ass, and I’m not sure what they were thinking in the first place dividing them up like this. Nobody is trying to buy their mom a gift card for a wholesome massage on a fucking Backpage replacement. BedPage obviously knows this, because they make you pass through the same Adults Only gate on the way into either section.

What can I say, though? I didn’t set it up, and all I can really do about it is bitch a little bit as I write this review. Anybody using the site will just have to browse both sections or potentially miss out on a really good back rub with full release.

MaSsAgE U LoNgTiMe (Heart, Heart, Car Crash) LOCAL RELEASE (Eggplant)

In both the Bodyrubs and Massage areas, listings are presented the same way. It’s the tired, old school Craigslist format that was popular, when? Like 20 years ago? Instead of the sexy lady thumbnails you get on most massage/escort sites, BedPage gives you a bunch of text and a shit ton of emojis. Most of the massage listings ARE SCREAMED AT YOU IN ALL CAPS, JUST IN CASE YOU’RE DEAF! Well, I have to assume many of the users here are fucking old, because they don’t know any better than to use this new-but-outdated site.

It’s a goddamn cluster fuck. The only way to find out what your potential masseuse looks like is to click your way into listings with titles like I CAN MAKE UR SEX DREAMS CUM TRUE (car emoji, explosion emoji) DON’T MISS OUT (heart emoji) HEAD 2 TOE (frog emoji) FULL mAsSaGe W SwAlLoW (lips emoji, flower emoji, bowling ball emoji). Yes, that is a real listing title, and most of them read like that. Each listing opens in a new tab, so get ready for a ton of clicking.

Based on those titles, this is probably a good place to find an erotic massage from a retarded girl. I wonder how well that retard strength applies to erotic massages. I bet she can get the kinks out of my neck, but I am a little bit worried she’ll pet my fleshy dog so hard it dies.

Hit Up a Local Masseuse for a Rubdown

The good news is that most of the listings do seem to have photos. If I’m going to get a penis massage from an illiterate girl, I at least want her to be sexy as fuck. I guess the idiot broad who posted the “Are youbstressed and need massage” listing is out of the running, though, because she forgot to include her contact information.

Many of the listings include a phone number right in the post title alongside all those stupid fucking flower emojis, while others put them in the blurb or use BedPage’s built-in contact buttons. The end user, meaning you or me or anybody else looking for a grown-up rubdown, doesn’t need to sign up or log into the website to see any of this contact information. Great news for anybody worried their wife will find out about that totally innocent massage.

I’ve got to say, though, I’m a little bit skeptical of some of these listings. Some of the photos look like the typical amateur semi-porn you see on other escort sites.

Another massive hole in their system is the complete lack of user reviews. On most of the good escort sites these days, all the decent erotic masseuses will have reviews from dudes who’ve used their services. That helps a lot when you’re trying to choose a beautiful, talented girl. You wouldn’t order a blowup sex doll from Amazon if she’s got zero reviews, so why would you pay more for a live, flesh-and-blood bitch without any references?

The whole time I was browsing BedPage, I kept asking myself who the website was for. They set out to be a Backpage replacement, and I’d say they totally succeeded at that. The thing is, why the fuck would anybody still use Backpage these days? If you’re old and that’s what you’re used to, I almost get it, but there are much better options out there for finding a dirty massage in your area. At the very least, the other sites let you browse thumbnails instead of walls of sexual gibberish with a bunch of emojis thrown in.

I’m sure you can find a good erotic massage on BedPage and their sister sites Ebackpage & Ibackpage, but it’s going to be more work than it is on other sites like it. I can’t really recommend this to anybody unless they really miss that shitty, old, outdated Craigslist/Backpage format. If you’re really interested in paying somebody to touch you tonight, I recommend using something else from my list of Erotic Massage Sites.

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Serena got slowly to her feet, grinning at me. Our eyes were locked on eachother and the contact seemed so intimate even though we werent touching just yet. My best friend and soon to be lover lay back on my bed, her dark hands clutching the quilted breadspread in anticipation. I let my gaze travel across her body for several moments so that I might drink in this vision of beauty and remember it for a very long while. I watched her shiver under my inspection and finally moved towards the bed on...

Fucking myself while my husband sleeps

“Oh my god, why can’t I go to sleep!?” I muttered to myself turning onto my side. I grab my cell phone from the beside table and look at the time. 2:30 in the morning! I went to bed at 11:15. I roll over to face my sleeping husband. I put my arm around him and he moans and pulls away. “Fine fuck you too dude!” I thought rolling onto my back. I kick the covers off of me and try to relax.I close my eyes and instantly I see his face. We’d only been chatting and emailing for a week and already I...

Masturbation

DD Bimbo

The D & D Bimbo Tale Another tale from the dark side of Belle Starr This story was happened to me at The Ye Old Irish Inn with a fellow patron. The names are changed to protect the Innocent. I came into the Ye Old Irish Inn one Sunday to catch the latest ball game and the scores of the games played earlier. The Giants had just kicked off to the Bills and the Bills ran it back for a touchdown. John groaned in despair. John was a die hard fan of two things in life. Giants Football...

A Good Time In City Bus

Hi all Hope you might have read my exp with Aunty. I could not make it again due to busy schedules. Here I am again with a new experience. This happened last week while traveling to office by bus. I need to travel by bus for approx 45 mins. As my place is very close to the Bus depot, most of the time I get place to sit. In Chennai the buses are having 2 doors and it is comfortable to travel by these buses even when crowded.Always I help elder people to sit since mostly they struggle in the...

A Perfect Valentines Night Out

Was thinking how lovely it would have been if we were going out to central London town to this highly lovely wine bar at the basement. Very secluded and with romantic settings. Wooden floor with low wooden ceiling, dim lights with small wooden round tables with small petite chairs round the able. A fire place with real fire on one of the walls not far from the table we choose to sit down at. The place has a very chilled romantic atmosphere to it, relaxing and yet so cosy. We sit at the table...

Voyeur

Cheating On The Phone

This is a true story. I was once involved with a woman who had an on-again, off-again boyfriend. He was an alcoholic, and kind of a lout. At one point they even got engaged, even though he sometimes hit her. Eventually she broke that off, but even while she was ‘with’ him she kept having sex with me. It wasn’t about romance, just sex and friendship. Anyway, one day we were on her bed: she was wearing a sexy bra and panty set, which was kind of getting in the way, because she was on top of me,...

Ann and the HandymanChapter 65

I sat at my desk, my mind spinning; the implications of Lena's e-mail had a stranglehold on my thoughts. The after effects of our animalistic sex session were still deeply affecting me. I felt as if I was just getting over a heavy cold, I felt light-headed and drained. I'd had another mortgage consultation scheduled for later that afternoon, but the couple had cancelled at the last minute, having decided not to go ahead with the loan. Apart from a few loose ends to tie up, my time was my...

Dear Uncle BobChapter 2

The next morning, Friday, Bob was late getting to the office because alarm clocks, being what they are, have a thing about being set before they go off to awaken their owners. He was in the middle of his second cup of coffee when his mail was brought up. The minute Tracy placed the stacks on his desk, he spotted the letter that could only be from her. With his heart pounding faster than he'd ever known it to, he chatted with the young lady who was studying music at the local community...

Amys Junior Year AbroadChapter 8 No One Likes to Practice

It was still early evening when Alexander bundled the girls into a taxi. He sat behind the driver and gave him directions. No one spoke as the cab made its way across Paris to a back street in Montmartre. They stopped in front of a dismal looking strip club. Alexander ushered the girls inside to a seat in a booth toward the back. He told them not to move and left behind a curtain at the opposite side of the club. There was a waist high runway jutting into the center of the room with three...

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