How I Became The Baddest Girl In Clarksville Part 3 Fast Times At Clarksville High free porn video

How I became the Baddest Girl in Clarksville Part 3 Fast Times at Clarksville High -School Daze- I sat in the hard wooden chair watching the computer monitor switch screens as the fingers, of the woman in the blue pants suit, danced across the keyboard. My mother's hand rested on my knee. Both of us wondered the same thing. Could we pull this off? It was the first step in forging my new identity. That morning, I woke to the sound of Mom pounding on my door. "Alex, are you up? It's nine o'clock. We have to be at the school in an hour." I groaned, struggling to sit up. "I'm awake, okay. Quit banging!" The door opened and Mom peeped in. "I want you dressed and downstairs in twenty minutes," she said. "Wear your new clothes. You want to look nice." "Gawd, Mom its school, not a job interview!" Mom frowned. "Just do as I say. And wear one of your new bras. Do you need help putting it on?" I swung my legs over the bed and glared at her. "I think I can figure it out. Cups in the front, right?" "Don't get smart, Alex. Twenty minutes. The clock starts now." Mom shut the door hard. I heard her stomp away in a series of muffled thumps. "Way to go, Alex." I said aloud. "You've been up for less than a minute and already you've managed to piss off Mom." As I picked through my closet for what to wear, I sensed a pattern. Every day it was the same. I woke up depressed where I didn't see my glass half empty; I expected a drought. Then there was the mood swings, one moment I felt tough and ballsy, and then I would get emotional over little things. But the scariest times were those moments I became all girly. Like when I hugged my mom because she agreed I could call myself Alex and in the Just Girls store, when I fell in love with the blue dress. Both times I'd lost control and became someone else. It was like I was Dr. Jekll and Ms. Hyde. "Stop it," I said, slipping a pair of pale blue jeans off their hanger and laying them on the bed. " You've hugged Mom a million time. She's your mother. You're supposed to hug her. And the dress? You bought that to get back at the bitch sisters, not because you had any plans to wear it. Damn Alex, get real! You're losing it, man." Now that I thought about it I didn't even want a dress in my closet. Its presence made me uneasy. I wished I hadn't suggested Mom buy it. I should have let Brooke have it regardless of how she'd pissed she'd made me. I rummaged through my new shirts and tops settling on a yellow one decorated with butterflies the same color as my jeans. I studied my choices and decided the effect was too feminine. I needed something to break it up. There was still a bag of Tyler's old clothes in my closet. I'd never gotten around to taking them to the garage. I pulled it out and went though the contents until I found what I was looking for, a dark green, long sleeve tee. I tossed it on the bed alongside my outfit then shoved the bag back where it belonged. I dressed quickly though the bra took a few minutes to figure out. After some experimentation I learned to fasten the hooks from the front then rotate them to the back. When I placed my arms into the straps the cups fitted around my breasts. I hated the way it felt. Plus, wearing it made me feel stupid. I wanted to take the damn thing off but that meant a fight with Mom. I tugged at it until it was tolerable then I slipped on the long sleeve tee and dropped the yellow top with the butterflies over it. I finished up with my new jeans and pink Converses. I crossed the hall to my parent's room to study myself in the mirror. Not too girly. The butterfly top was a bit much but the long green sleeves poking out killed the fluffiness. I took a few minutes to brush my hair, pulled it into a high ponytail and secured it with a scrunchy. A final check in the mirror said I was good to go. Mom gave me one of her looks when I bounded down the stairs. "You're going like that?" she asked. "Yeah," I replied. "It's my new look." She sighed. "Well at least your hair looks nice." We arrived at school ahead of schedule, which forced us to wait in the office area until the registrar could see us. Mom clutched the large manila envelope she'd been given at the hospital. It contained my newly manufactured history. There was my birth certificate proclaiming me a girl, vaccination records -also faked - and counterfeit transcripts from the last school I never attended. As she checked and rechecked the envelope's contents, I watched various students pass through. Some carried passes and disappeared down the hallway, their missions a mystery. Others were marched in by teachers and placed in chairs like Mom's and mine to await their fate. All of them stared at the new girl--me. After an interminable time of being gawked at, playing with my hair, picking at my clothes and tugging at my bra, the registrar deigned to see us. She was an older woman with hair more blue than silver and 50's-style eyeglasses. She motioned us toward the same painful, straight back chairs we'd sat on in the lobby while she took her place in a comfortably padded desk chair on rollers. Leaning forward, her elbows on the desk, her fingers laced together, she gazed at us and smiled. "How may I help you?" she asked. "I need to enroll my daughter in school." Mom said. Blue hair swiveled her chair so she faced her computer and began typing. "I'll need some I.D. along with an verifiable address, proof of age, vaccination records, ya-da ya-da ya-da. (The ya-da's are mine. I zoned out after the third item on the list.) Mom passed the woman the manila envelope. She emptied the contents on to her desk and picked through the items, picking them up with the tip of her thumb and finger as if the act was distasteful. Finally she gathered the documents and carried them to a copy machine in the corner of the room. After copying each one she returned the originals to the manila envelope and gave it to Mom. "Everything seems to be in order," she said. "I only need to check Katharine's records from her former school." This was the tricky part of our plan. We had to convince Clarksville High that I'd attended school in Sacramento as Alex Tetras. A birth certificate helped but there had to be a paper trail as well. This consisted of the infamous permanent record and every student who attended any school, anywhere, had one. This record was confidential--so confidential it was stored in a locked vault. Material taken from the vault had to be signed out and returned by the end of the school day. Inside the record (which was really just a folder with the student's name on it) were copies of discipline referrals, standardized test scores, pass- fail history along with anything else they thought might be of interest. The problem was Alex Tetras didn't have a permanent record. We did however have the aforementioned counterfeit transcripts. We hoped this would serve in its place. My new identity depended on it. "I have uh... Katherine's transcripts from Medowview Middle School. She graduated there last year." Mom handed the woman what looked like pages of dark gray paper with white type. "Oh...and she prefers to be called Alex." I had to smile. Mom was learning. The woman glanced at the transcripts then passed them back. "I'm sorry but for Katherine's records to be valid they must come to us directly from the institution. We cannot accept transcripts delivered through a third party." The woman spun in her chair so she was facing her computer again. " However, I can access the transcripts from Medowview online. This will only take me a moment." Her fingers attacked the keyboard with renewed energy. I looked at Mom and saw she was worried the same as me. How were we going to explain Medowview had never heard of me? Right on time, the woman's expression changed. One moment she was wearing a sort of smirk, then her eyebrows arched and her jaw dropped. She tapped a couple of keys, gawked again, then picked up the phone and punched in a number. "Sandy? Hi... This is Gail at Clarksville High... I'm fine.... Look I have a Mrs. Tetras here wanting to enroll her daughter." There was a pause while she listened. "Well... I'll tell you. When I went to the Student Online Records Exchange, I got a no matches found message." She listened again typing out something a little at a time. Whoever was on the other end was giving her directions. "I have two listings," she said after punching the enter key. " Tyler from last year and John from a couple of years back but no Katherine..." pause... "That's what's so odd. She brought a birth certificate and a printed transcript. ..." Pause... "You think so?" Blue Hair glanced at us furtively. I saw suspicion in her eyes. She hugged the phone closer as if afraid we'd hear the conversation going. "It has a state seal so I just assumed it was genuine but I guess it could be--wait! I've got her. She just popped up on the screen. There must have been a glitch. Okay. Talk to you later. Bye." The blue haired lady swiveled her chair back in out direction. "I'm sorry for the delay. I had a little trouble finding Katherine's records." She laughed. "My supervisor thought you faked everything. I know how ridiculous that sounds." "Yes," said my mother. "Why would anyone do that?" -Everything on Schedule -Not - While "Gail the Registrar" filled out a form by hand, I asked where the nearest ladies room might be. The close call with my transcript had literally scared the piss out of me. Almost anyway, and if I waited any longer I'd pee my pants. I've never had a bladder of iron. As John I could hold it if necessary for a reasonable amount of time but as Alex it was harder. For one thing, the urge didn't occur at the base of my penis anymore--I didn't have one. Instead it occurred in my lower abdomen. This didn't give me much control. Mom followed me to the rest room citing the need to go too. I felt that was a little weird. Wait! Change that too a lot weird--sharing a bathroom moment with your mother is just plain strange. And for once I was glad that girls used stalls. I sealed myself away in my own little cubicle and tried not to think of who was next door while I did my business. When I was done I met Mom at the sinks to wash up. I was still shaken from the experience about the school records. "Should I expect any more surprises, Mother?" I asked in a sharp tone. "Honestly Alex," Mom said. "Nothing happened. There was a little delay." "You were just as worried as I was." I said "It all worked out," Mom said, her voice stoic. "That's the important thing." It worked out this time, I thought, on the way back to the Registrar, but what about next time. What happened if someone went snooping in Sacramento looking for Alex Tetras' friends or decided to interview her teachers at Medowview? What then? There were a thousand what-ifs. I hoped Frank and the Rat Pack had an answer because I sure didn't. Gail the registrar had the form waiting for us when we returned. "You'll need to take this to the Guidance Office," she said handing me a form, "You're officially enrolled but they need to issue you a schedule. Shelly will show you where it's at." She nodded at a girl standing a few feet away. She had this eager do-goody expression on her face that reminded me of a puppy anxious to please its master. Though I could have easily found the Guidance Office on my own--I'd passed it dozen of times as John--I was Alex now and she was new. So I followed our guide down the hall. Shelly dropped back from the lead to walk beside me. "I love your outfit, " she said, "Its sick--in a good way I mean." "Yours is cool too," I lied. She wore a pink scoop back blouse over a blue scooter skirt with white knee socks and Mary Jane's. She reminded me of an anime character kicked off of Cartoon Network for fashion crimes. I prayed someone would have the decency to shoot me if I ever lost my mind and dressed like that. "Here we are," Shelly said in a cutesy voice. She did this little thing with her hand I didn't understand. "Just go in through that door and they'll help you." "Thanks," I said dryly. She stood there with her goofy smile. It drooped a little when I didn't say anything more. "Well," she said, sounding unsure. "It was nice meeting you. Maybe we'll see each other again." "Yeah, that would be cool." I replied in my most robotic voice. "Okay," she said, "Bye." I grunted. She stood there a moment more, then left. "Really, Alex. You didn't have to be so rude." Mom said. "Why because I didn't feel up to conversing with Suzie Sunshine." Mom frowned. "You could stand to show a little more sunshine, yourself." "Sorry, " I said, "I'm just not feeling it today." I opened the door and went inside. I didn't bother to see if Mom followed me or not. After we left the school, Mom dropped me off at the house before leaving to go grocery shopping. She invited me along and was disappointed when I declined. I cited needing to prepare for my first day of school. This was true. Though I was used to people seeing me as Alex, the encounters were brief, lasting maybe fifteen minutes. Then they were over. Being Alex for a whole day with no break was scary. I wasn't sure how to be a girl. I'd gotten away with it so far because no one had gotten a good look. I'd be visible for the entire school day tomorrow and everyone would be watching. The more I thought about it, the less sure I was I could pull it off. My only hope was to say as little as possible and keep a low profile. With nothing much to do I laid my class schedule on my desk a looked it over. Beginning school late in the quarter hadn't left much flexibility with classes. I had English 9 first block, followed by P.E. then Biology and lunch. After lunch it was Geometry and then...Gasp...! Home Economics. Yeah. Repeating the ninth grade was going to be a real blast...Not. Spending so much time inside I wanted to go out for a while. Our house, being secluded as it was, gave me confidence I could spend time outdoors away from curious eyes. I hurried down the stairs and through the front door. Stepping into the yard the smell of autumn dazzled me like fireworks on the 4th. The scent of pine and something pleasant I couldn't identify was strong around me. I drank it in while noting the vivid hues of the season. Nuances of color were everywhere. Like the day Mom drove me home from the hospital, I found a simple joy in the reds and browns around me. Why had I never seen the beauty of color before? I turned in a lazy circle, grooving on the scenery, when there it was, breaking into my musings like a speed bump--the Barnes House. It sat nestled between the trees like a timber rattler in a deadfall, ready to bite. I'd avoided it since my encounter with Bradley by keeping blinds to my bedroom window closed and looking to the side when I went outside. Now I found myself in a metaphorical staring contest with the house. But this time it wouldn't win. It was time to close that chapter. My feet seemed to have a mind of their own as they propelled me across the lawn and into the street. In moments I'd crossed onto the Barnes property wading through the waist high grass to the front steps. I think I expected to see police tape staking out the place or maybe the chalk outline of a body drawn on the warped planks of the porch. But the only thing changed over the last few days was a sign tacked up beside the door. It proclaimed NO ENTERY--BY ORDER OF THE CITY OF CLARKSVILLE. I thought of checking the back door. It might still be open. As I angled back to the driveway my attention was on the house and not where I was going. I heard the squeal of brakes and turned to see two frightened faces though a windshield before the bumper of a white Nissan nicked my thigh. Though, the car only brushed my leg, it spun me around. I landed on my ass. The car stopped a few feet away. I sat rubbing my bruised thigh when the passenger's door opened. I was surprised to see it was Monica Bond that raced toward me. "Are you alright?" She dropped down beside me and placed her hand on my leg. This was the closest she'd ever been to me and the closeness should have sent my heart racing. Instead I didn't feel anything. I still thought she was pretty--hell, she was beautiful, but the sexual attraction wasn't there. She touched the place where the bumper struck me and I winced. "Sorry," she said and smiled. "I don't think it's broken but I bet you'll have bruise. Gosh, kid we didn't see you." "Hey dumbass," said a voice. I looked to see Bradley Conrad climb out of the drivers seat. He slung the car door shut and stomped to where Monica crouched beside me. "Don't you ever look before you-- he paused, his lips pressed together, his eyes slits, his forehead creased with lines. "Do I know you?" He shook his head. "Damn. Damn it to hell. I should know who you are but I--" Monica was on her feet taking him in her arms. She reached up and drew his head to her shoulder. "It's okay, honey... it's okay." She looked at me. "Bradley was in an accident Monday afternoon, between here and Pine Grove" she said, "He flipped his car and rolled several times. There was some trauma that's left his memory spotty. He can't remember much about the last couple of weeks." Had I misheard what Monica said? Bradley couldn't have been in an accident. I'd seen the police arrest him and place him in an unmarked SUV on Monday. Monica was still talking as I got to my feet. "Its funny," She said, "He only needed three sticth--" Bradley shifted, sweeping Monica in his arm. "Shut up about my brain," He said. "I remember why I'm here." He kissed her hard on the lips; letting his hands grope the sides of her breasts, turning his back to me as he did. I noticed a small shaved spot on the back of his head covered with surgical tape. "Honey, no!" Monica said, half laughing. She wiggled free and forced his hands down to his sides. "Not in front of the kid." "Hell" he muttered twisting away from Monica. He made an angry lurch toward me. If I found Bradley fearsome before, he was terrifying now, towering over me by two feet. I backed away, afraid. " A word of advice kid." Bradley said, " You need to pay attention to where you're going. You may not be so lucky next time." I'd taken several steps back so I was standing in the grass. Insects buzzed near by head. "Leave her alone, Bradley," Monica warned, "You're scaring her." Bradley leered at me, his eyes narrowed giving his face a demonic cast. " Little girls should be scared. Bad things can happen when they snoop around places they shouldn't. Now get the hell out of here." "You do what you want to do, honey," Monica said, "We're leaving." "But I thought--? I mean we were going to--?" Bradley stuttered, obviously confused by the way thing were developing. "Just get in the car Bradley!" Monica said. "I'm not in the mood anymore." He followed Monica to the Nissan. I watched them climb inside. They exchanged angry words then the engine roared to life. Bradley gunned the engine, burning rubber half way down the drive as they sped away. I took a breath and realized I had to pee. There was no way I was going to squat behind a bush. That left one option, making it to my house before I had an accident. I hurried home, fast as I dared, cursing my lack of a penis. If I still had one, taking a wiz outside wouldn't have been a problem. I reached our house and mounted the stairs to the bathroom managing to drop my pants just before the damn broke--barely avoiding wetting the toilet seat as I plopped down. With the pee crisis over I drifted to my room to lick my wounds. My encounter with Bradley left me shaken. It was my first time to face a hostile male--Frank hadn't counted. He had a code, albeit one where the end justified the means. Bradley, on the other hand, was a loose cannon. Only the Rat Pack fucking with his brain saved me. He'd been programmed to believe he'd developed amnesia. By flipping his car. I was pretty sure any memory of our encounter in the Barnes House had been wiped away. He might not even remember John Tetras ever existed. The last part was supposition. But I'd seen the bandage on the back of his neck. The Rat Pack was erasing every trace of the Adam to Eve virus. Bradley had been neutralized. The only people left who knew what happen Friday night was my family. This raised another question. Why hadn't they done to me like Bradley? They could have programmed me to forget I'd ever been a boy. Or could they? The human brain is an amazing organ and no one fully understands it. Maybe they didn't reprogram me as a girl because they couldn't. Or maybe they didn't have to. What if my brain was reprogramming itself and all they had to do was keep an eye on me until it was done? That would explained those girly moments I'd experienced. It would also explain why I felt no sexual arousal when Monica knelt beside me and touched my leg. The realization left me feeling dizzy. I had to place a hand against the wall to keep from falling. I staggered to my bed, my stomach heaving. I couldn't let his happen. I'd fought so hard to remain who I was. Relax Alex, said a voice in my head. Nothing's happened. So you didn't get all hot and bothered when Monica put a hand on your leg. It's difficult to get a boner without a penis. Here's a news flash for you--you don't have one. As for that other stuff, we went over that earlier--remember? "Yeah," I said, "everything's coming up roses." I was happy to see Mom home from the store a few minutes later. I needed a diversion. I met her downstairs and helped bring the groceries in from the car, struggling under the weight of bags I could have easily carried as John. I half dropped the last bag on the table and then fell exhausted into a chair. Mom smiled as she put the various items away. "Thanks for the help, honey." I nodded, too winded to speak. "You know," she said, "I could use some help making supper too, feel up to it?" "That's what girls do, isn't it," I said. "Make supper, clean the house, stuff like that." Mom frowned. "Really Alex, does it always have to be that way with you. Being female has nothing to do with it. If your father was home and I was at work, he'd cook." She carried a bag to the pantry and began removing can goods, slamming them on the shelves. "You know what," she said, her voice sharp. "I don't want your help! What I really wanted was your company but if you're going to whine, please do it in your room." I felt my composure crack. Though the last thing I wanted was for my mother to see me cry, I was too upset to move. Mom stopped what she was doing and sat beside me, cradling my head on her shoulder. "Tough day?" she asked. I nodded as the tears streaked down my cheeks. "I think you'd be happier if you'd quit fighting this," she said, keeping her voice soft. I felt her hand move to gently stroke my hair. "I 'd rather not talk about it." I said, pulling away. "I can work things out for myself." "Alex..." I heard her call after me but I'd already left the kitchen. I didn't bother to look back as I ran up the stairs to my room. "You'll have to take the bus to school tomorrow, " Mom said. We were having dinner. "I though you were taking us?" I said. The last thing I wanted was to endure a bus ride with fifty pairs of eyes staring at me the entire way. "I'm sorry, honey, but the store called. They want me to come in early. " Mom said, dabbing a fork at her peas. Dad looked up from his plate. "What's wrong with riding the bus? He asked. "It's not like you haven't done it before." "Nothing," I said. "It's fine." "Tyler, I want you to come home with your sister tomorrow," said my mother, " No staying over at Nathan's. She's going through a difficult time." "Thanks Mom," I said, "Why don't you announce it to the entire world." " That's your mother you're talking to, young lady," Dad said. "You'll speak to her with respect." Tyler was leering at me with a grin that matched Alice's Cheshire cat. "Yeah young lady," he mocked, " use respect." "Tyer--" Dad started to say. "Don't bother. " I said slamming down my fork. "I'm done," Dad frowned but said nothing. "That's fine, honey," said Mom, "Rinse your plate off before you go upstairs." "I don't know how much more I can take, Ann," My father said from the other room as I ran water over my plate. " We can't have a meal anymore without her stomping away over something." "Steve she's trying to work things out. It's gong to take some ti--." Mom paused when she saw me. I gave them both a dirty look as I walked past to my room. I sat on my bed, knees pulled up to my chin, staring out the window. It was beginning to grow dark when the first of the star of the night winked on over the treetops. I paused to watch it twinkle remembering how I'd made wishes on such stars when I was younger. I had a wish tonight and like a little kid I whispered it. I know I can't go back to being John, I'm not sure it would even be the same if I could. But I wish I had a friend, someone to talk to when I'm going though tough times. If you still grant wishes, please send me a friend. I closed my eyes and focused on the wish I'd made. When I open them again I saw the star was lost among a dozen of its sisters. Tyler was waiting for me after my shower. Like before he was seated in the chair I used with my desk. "What are you a stalker," I asked loosening the towel around my hair so I could brush out the tangles. I took a seat on my bed tugging the oversize tee- shirt around my knees, keeping it in place by pinning it in place with my legs. My brother wasn't getting another peep show. "I brought you a present," he said. "Since we're riding the bus together everyone will know you're my sister." "That's a problem?" I asked, dragging the brush through the first damp strands of hair. "It could be. No offense, but you embarrassed me a lot when you were John." "So you're afraid I'm going to again," I said. "Not if you shave." Tyler said, holding up a disposable razor. "Uh...girls don't shave," I said. "Your legs. I noticed the other night. They're hairy. That means your underarms probably are too." I looked down at my legs. "I've got the tiniest bit of fuzz and it's blond. You can barley see it. Besides I wear pants." "I looked at your schedule, Alex," he said "You have P.E. second period. You'll have to wear shorts for that. Do you remember Elvira Jones?" "Yeah she was that girl with the weird parents. They went to this church where the men had beards and the women couldn't use make-up or wear pants." "Or shave their legs," Tyler piped in. Suddenly, the memory of Elvira's hairy legs and underarms popped into my mind. The image made me want to puke. "Give me the razor," I said. -Fast Times at Clarksville High- The next morning Tyler and I walked to the bus stop at the end of the Cul- de-sac. "You never told me what favor you wanted." I said. He'd mentioned it the first night he'd seen me as Alex. "I solved that one," he said. "Now I'm working on a bigger project." "What's that?" I asked. He grinned. "You." "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I demanded. "Mom and Dad said to look after you, that means I'm in charge." "Think again Sherlock," I said. "You're not telling me what to do. First of all, I'm older than you." "You were older than me, not anymore." Tyler said. "Okay," I countered "Lets say we're the same age, that makes us equal." "It might if you were a boy, though I'm smarter. But you're a girl. Stuff can happen to you. You could get raped, like what those football players did to Sherry Mason last year." "That was Sacramento, not Clarksville. And besides, Sherry's a whore. She probably asked for it. " "Whoa! Throwing a sis-tah under the bus." Tyler said, feigning mock surprise. "I thought girls stood up for each other." "I wouldn't know." I said flatly. " But, you need to drop it!" "Hey, lighten up will you," Tyler said. "I was only fucking around. You can do what you want Just promise you won't blow up on the bus in front of my friends. You know like you did at dinner last night. My face burned from Tyler's sick, chauvinistic remarks. He stood grinning at me, making me even angrier. We were so occupied with each other, no one noticed the bus pull up and its door open, until the driver blew the horn. The horn meant Sarge was driving today. Sarge waited for no man or woman. When he blew the horn, you had until he pulled away from the curb to reach the bus, or you walked to school. "Come on, " Tyler said, grabbing my hand, "that crazy old coot will leave us for sure." We were only a few feet from our house while the bus was at the end of the cul-de-sac. Tyler raced toward it pulling me along. We reached the halfway point when the door closed and the bus lurched forward--and stalled. In his rush to leave us stranded, Sarge had killed the engine. As Tyler spurred us on, I heard people cheering. Some of the students had lowered their windows and were yelling encouragements. We'd become entertainment. Just as we reached the bus, Sarge got it started. I was afraid he was going to leave us even though Tyler banged on the door. Finally, the door opened and Sarge glared down at me from behind the wheel. He looked so fierce I was afraid to move. Tyler half lifted half pushed me up the metal step and into the bus where I was met by the stares of fifty pairs of eyes.. Then the bus exploded into jubilation as if I were a heroine home from the war. Sarge had the unique ability to compress entire sentences into a single word. He craned his head around toward the back of the bus and demonstrated. "Shadupyafuginhethens." (Translation: shut up you fucking heathens). Then he switched his death ray glare on me again. "giddagoudamseatgerl" (Translation: get a goddamn seat girl). I looked for somewhere to sit. Every seat was filled to overflowing. "Where?" I asked in a small voice. "Idoncarjessetyerassdown!" (Translation: I don't care just sit your ass down.) "Hey baby you can sit next to me," called a pimply-faced boy. "How bout in my lap," called a boy from somewhere in the back. Some of the kids laughed. I felt tears threatening but held them back. "Come on, Alex," Tyler said behind me. He took my hand and led me to where Nathan sat near the middle of the bus. "Hop up, dude," he said. "Alex is going to sit there." Nathan moved aside and Tyler guided me in. Then dropped in beside me. "Wow," said Nathan easing down on the tiny bit of cushion left leaving his feet sticking out in the aisle. "You didn't tell me your sister was so hot!" "Shut your fucking mouth about my sister," Tyler snapped. Nathan blinked in surprise "Gawd, I'm sorry," he said throwing up his hands. "Peace man." He turned and faced the other way. "You okay?" Tyler asked me in a surprisingly gentle voice. "Yeah, " I said though I was breathing hard. I could feel my heart pounding. He reached in his backpack and pulled out his ipod. "Here," he said, handing me the device. "Music will take your mind off things." I took it and slipped in the ear buds. Tyler's play list consisted mostly of Nirvana and a few tunes by Courtney Love, not my favorite artists. This morning, I didn't care. I cranked up the volume until my world consisted of only Grunge. Sarge managed to arrive at school with all of us unscathed, and no new dings on the bus. When we stopped to unload, Nathan wiggled into the exiting mass. Tyler stood up to follow but I grabbed his arm. "What?" he asked. Was taken aback with his tone. "I...I just wanted to say thanks... you know... for what you did." "Don't," he said. "What I did, I did for me, not you. Look I'm popular here. People like me. I didn't need you fucking things up by acting like a whiney school girl." He moved away from me into the aisle then merged into the crowd. I stayed back until everyone had gone then I made my way off the bus. The one good thing was I was too angry to cry. I shoved my way through any clusters of students blocking my way to the building and stormed to my locker. I was fumbling in my pocket for my combination when I heard a girl's voice. "Hi," she said. "Remember me?" I looked around to see Susie Sunshine standing beside me pulling books from an open locker. Today she was wearing a neon blue sweater, a hot pink pleated skirt and light green knee socks. "Yeah," I replied, blinking, her outfit blinding me temporally, "You're uh...." "Shelly," she said. "And you're Alex." "Yeah, I'm Alex." I said. How in the hell did she know my name? I'd never told her. "I bet you're wondering how I know who you are." she said. "I saw it on the computer when I was entering stuff for the counselors. I thought you might need help finding your way today. You know, until you learn your way around. We have several classes together." "Thanks," I said. "But my brother gave me a tour the other day." All I needed was Susie Sunshine, with her bizarre fashion sense, yakking my ear off all day. "Oh..." the word seemed to shrink as it escaped her lips. I could see hurt in her eyes. "On second thought," I said, mentally kicking myself with each syllable. "I didn't pay much attention, I'll probably get lost. So sure, if you want to help, fine." "This is going to be so cool," she said with an enthusiasm that made me wonder if she had any life at all. "Yeah," I muttered to myself, "the only thing better would be to throw myself off a cliff." "Our first class is English 9 with Ms. Boyd," she said, switching to student assistant mode, " We're studying Homer's, The Odyssey, it's one of my favorite epic poems. I can help you with it if you want." For the sake of brevity and to conserve ASCII bytes I'll skip the rest of the conversation. Let it simply be said Shelly chatted nonstop all the way to Ms. Boyd's classroom. I supplied the occasional "is that so" or "no shit" to give the illusion I was listening. Shelly proved to be an asset. She introduced me to Ms. Boyd as the new girl and convinced Ms. Boyd to let us sit together. Some of the kids in the class were on the bus that morning. One was pimple face, who'd made sexual remarks toward me. He snickered when he saw us come in. When Ms. Boyd went to the white board to write the day's objectives, I took advantage of her back to us. Wadding up a sheet of notebook paper I threw it, striking pimple face on the shoulder. He looked up to see my extended middle finger. Then I mouthed the words FUCK YOU. He looked back down at his notes, his pencil scribbling furiously. But he didn't glance my way again. Shelly had witnessed the entire thing. "You're so wicked, Alex." She whispered. She wore a big grin. Apparently pimple face had more enemies than just me. Our next class together was PE with coach Wiggins, a thin, sad faced woman with limp brown hair and a large wart like thing on her left cheek. She had pale blue eyes that looked as if they would weep any second. She led me with something less than enthusiasm into the girls locker room where she fished out a pair of gym shorts and a tee shirt with the Clarksville High coat of arms silk-screened on the front. "Get dressed," she said, "You can put your clothes in there." She pointed to a wire basket set into a rack among dozens of other baskets, many of them stuffed with street clothes. The basket was fitted for a lock. Coach Wiggins gave me a combination padlock then left me to switch into my uniform. I had no PE shoes so I was wearing my high tops when I came out of the locker room. "Nice shoes Tetras," said Coach Wiggins,"Except pink's not a uniform color. I expect you to have a pair of white gym shoes by next week. Now join the others." The girls were in the bleachers watching the boys shoot baskets on their side of the gym. (I learned later this was pretty much par for the course everyday). I spotted Shelly and sat down beside her. She smiled when she saw me then turned her attention back to the boys. Coach Wiggins had gone into her office leaving us on our own. I gazed across the gym to see what everyone found so interesting. At first, I was painfully aware I wasn't one of them. Not that I wasn't one of the players but I wasn't one of the guys. They were different than me. A week ago I could have been any one of them in the group. But that was a week ago. Things had changed. Now they seemed like a different species, a foreign life form. They jostled each other shoving, ducking and dodging before leaping into the air to slam the ball through the basket.. As I watched them, something odd happened. I felt the tiniest stirrings of excitement. I realized my thighs were pressed tightly together and I was hugging my breasts with my arms. I untangled myself and quickly looked away. "They're so hot," Shelly said to me. "Don't you think so Alex? Who do you think is the cutest?" "I think they're all stupid," I said. "Don't try to tell me you don't like boys," Shelly said. "I was watching you. You were practically drooling over them." "Look," I said, "I don't know what you think you saw but you're wrong. Okay!" I was almost shouting. I realized the girls around us had stopped talking. Everyone was looking at me. Shelly's eyes were wide, her jaw slack. She backed away from me. "I'm sorry," I said. " I had a bad experience recently. I guess it got the better of me." "Oh, Alex," Shelly cooed, scooting toward me again, "I didn't know. I must have sounded crass. Did you break up with someone?" "Let's say we're separated." I said. "I'm not sure I'll ever see him again." -The Devil with the Blue Dress- After Biology (which was thankfully Shellyless) I met up with her in the lunchroom. As I carried my tray of canned veggies, powdered mashed potatoes and mystery meat toward an empty table, she waved me over. I noticed two girls seated beside her. Both looked like they could take first place in a least popular contest. Holding my tray with both hands, I kicked a chair out from under the table then fell into my seat, unladylike. "What's up Shelly," I asked. "I wanted you to meet my friends, Abby and Bert," Shelly said, extending an open palm toward the two girls. I glanced at the pair, astonished to see they were looking at me with adoration in their eyes. "Oh Alex," said the one called Bert. She had a pudgy face that her pageboy made look even rounder. "Shelly's told us all about you." "Yeah," Abby chimed in, a pasty brunette with matchstick thin arms, "She told us how you flipped off Arnold Haas in English this morning. That was totally wicked. You're like the coolest girl we know." "Yeah," I said, "I'm wicked." " Alex," said Shelly, her voice low, cautious, " I'm not sure but I think that boy is looking at you." "What boy? " I asked amused at the idea. "I'm the new girl. I've been looked at all day." "No," she said frowning. "I mean he's watching you. He's been staring at you since you sat down." "Is he looking at me now?" I asked. "Duh...Yes!" I turned in my chair to see who it was. Cal stared directly at me. He sat at the table I had shared as John, except now he was alone. Our eyes met and we held each other's stare. Then he dropped his head and I turned away. "Are you all right," Shelly asked. "You look pale." "I'm fine," I said, picking up my fork. I realized my hand was trembling. "Some people are so rude," said Brett, stuffing a fork full of mystery meat into her mouth. "Who was he anyway, Alex? " Abby was peering around me, trying to see who'd been spying on me. "Somebody I've never seen before," I lied, hoping to sound disinterested, "It doesn't matter." "I think you should tell a teacher," Abby continued. "He could be ...you know... some kind of pervert." I grabbed my tray, shoving back my chair as I did. It was time to go. Shelly looked at me her eyes wide with surprise. "You're leaving?" "Yeah," I said, rising to my feet. " I've got a couple of things to do. I'll see you guys later." "It was nice to meet you," Abby and Brett called behind me. I handed my tray to a cafeteria worker, and then barged past her to the girls restroom at the end of the hall. I was relieved to find the place empty. I needed down time, alone. My day had been a roller coaster with more dips than ascents and seeing Cal hadn't helped. We had been best friends until Monica came between us. The day of my encounter with Bradley we didn't speak at all. After that, it was like I forgot he existed--until today. But why was this bothering me all of a sudden? Cal was a part of my life that didn't exist anymore. I was Alex now. I would make new friends. I just needed time to sort things out. The girls restroom had a full-length mirror next to a tampon machine in the space between the last stall and the wall. I stood before it and studied my reflection hoping to see what had attracted Cal. The girl in the mirror gazed back at me through large blue eyes. Dressed in skinny jeans, her hair caught up in a high ponytail, she looked tomboyish, in a delicate way. She stood with her hips cocked, a look of concentration on her face. There was no trace of John about her. So why had Cal been so interested? I heard the sound of females in animated conversation as the restroom door eased open. A girl, I recognized from English class that morning, stepped inside. She smiled at me. "Alex Tetras, right? " "Yeah," I said. "I'm Tonya." She paused, looking unsure. "Are you related to Tyler Tetras? I mean you both have the same last name." "He's my brother." I said as the door swung open again. "Thanks for waiting, asshole," said Brooke Simons storming in. "Gosh, Brooke, I told you where I was going." Said Tonya. "Don't get your panties in such a wad." Brooke opened her mouth to say something then she saw me. "Well look who it is," she said "It's the hobo girl." "Hobo girl!" Tonya said her eyes twinkling, her mouth forming an open smile. "This is the girl that bought your dress!" "It wasn't her dress," I said. "It was the shop's and I got to it first." "I told you it belonged to me," Brooke said. "I ought to kick your ass right here." I felt anger rise inside me. "If you want to fight, fine. Let's fight." Earlier I hadn't even wanted the dress in my closet but now I was glad I had it and not her. I took a step toward her. Tonya jumped between us. "Stop it! Both of you!" "But this bitch stole my dr--" "Just shut up Brooke!" Tonya shouted. Then she paused taking a breath. "You need to know something." "What," Brooke said, crossing her arms, her face drawn into a pout. Tonya's smiled turned wicked. "Alex is your boyfriend's sister." She gawked stupidly at Tonya. "What!" "This is Alex Tetras," said Tonya, "the one you call, hobo." "What are you talking about," I said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Tyler doesn't have a girlfriend." "Yes he does," Brooke said proudly, "Me. We've been talking since last week." "Well this is awkward," said Tonya. " I mean..." She spread her arms as if offering for one of us to finish her sentence. "I couldn't care less who Tyler's sees," I said quickly. " Just stay away from me." "Sorry hobo," Brooke said, as I pushed past her." I think we'll be seeing a lot of each other. A hell of a lot." Her laughter followed me out the door. Life sucks! I thought as I gazed out the window of the bus. I'd been forced to sit with Tyler and Nathan again to avoid sitting with people even more unpleasant. Nathan sat closest to the aisle but that didn't stop him from looking at my breasts every chance he got. Tyler was exchanging text messages with Brooke, on his cell. Occasionally he'd glace my way and laugh. I entertained myself imagining sneaking into his room with a pair of scissors. A couple of quick snips and we'd be twins in more ways than one. *** "You need a role model," Tyler said. "Oh, and Brooke said to tell you hi." The bus had dropped us off at the cul-de-sac. I could see our house at its end, a shining beacon of solitude after a crappy first day at school that promised more crappy days to come. "She can kiss my ass," I said. "Yeah, she said you'd be delighted with the message." "What do you see in her, anyway?" I asked. "She a stuck-up little bitch." "I told you, Alex, I don't do anything except for myself. It's not Brooke, though she is popular, which makes me more popular through association." "But that's not the reason you're seeing her." I probed. "I'm seeing her because her father coaches JV basketball. "I thought her father was president of the First bank of Clarksville or whatever they call it." "The only Bank of Clarksville." Tyler said and we both laughed. "So you're seeing Brooke to get a place on the Junior Varsity team." Tyler fixed me with his gaze, "Bingo." He said stabbing a finger in my direction. "Give the little lady a prize." "You're a jerk, you know that," I was incensed. Even Brooke deserved better treatment. "Call me anything you want," Tyler said, "But in the end I'm going to be successful and you...? Well, you're going to just be fucked unless you get yourself together." "And I do this how?" I asked. As much as I hated to admit it Tyler had a point. I was directionless as a robo vac; changing direction any time I bumped into an obstacle. "Find someone you admire and copy them. Take me for instance, I chose J. R. Ewing." "You mean Larry Hagman." I corrected. "No, I mean J.R., the character. He's ruthless but he knows how work the system and he gets what he wants." "Why stop at J.R." I said, " why not Adolph Hitler or Charles Manson." "See, that's what I'm talking about, Alex." Tyler said. "You can't handle reality. You get pissed anytime someone points out that you're different now, that the rules have changed." "You know what." I said, "I can't believe we're having this conversation. I hope you and Brooke will be very happy together. You deserve each other." Before he could say anything else. I raced away from him toward home. I spent the afternoon in my room. One benefit of my late enrollment in Clarksville High was the ton of make-up work I was assigned. In my other life this would have aggravated me to the point of suicide. But today I embraced the assignments as an escape from having to think. I immersed myself in geometric formulas, biological terms and epic poetry until my brain threatened to explode. Nothing says zombie like rote learning. I drowned myself in homework until I heard the dreaded knock on my door. "Alex, dinner's ready," Mom said, peeping in thorough my door. I winced. Though we were never "Brady Bunch" close as a family, I'd always enjoyed my parents company at dinner. The last few meals, however, hadn't been so great. Everyone was seated when I got to the dinning room. An empty plate and a glass of milk sat on the table by my chair. I took my place and served myself some of the casserole Mom prepared. No one said anything at first. There was a tension that was almost palpable Then Tyler piped up. "Dad's taking me fishing this weekend, " He said proudly. I was surprised. Dad was offering to spend time with Tyler? He'd never done much with either of us since we started grade school. "I want to go," I said, a fishing trip would be fun. "Your father wants it to be him and Tyler," Mom interjected. "Why can't he take me, too? We used to go all the time." I said, remembering the small pond he took me to when I was little. "Alex, no." Mom said, shaking her head. "I wasn't asking you. I'm asking Dad." I looked at my father. He'd been quiet. "I can go can't I Dad?" I wanted this really bad. He frowned, nervously folding and unfolding the paper napkin beside his plate. "Dad? I can can't I." I repeated. "Alex... honey..." he began. "You don't want me to go either, do you?" I said. "Why Dad? Why does everyone treat me so differently now? Are you embarrassed by me?" . "I think it would be better if your mother explained why," he said "Alex," said Mom. "Whether you like it or not, you're a young lady. We think it would be a bad idea for you to go traipsing through the woods with your father and Tyler. There won't be any restrooms and what if you were to start your period?" "That stuff never stopped you," I shot back. "You told me you and Dad went camping all the time when you first met." "I wasn't fighting who I was," said Mom. She leveled her gaze at me. "I wasn't trying to be a boy." My mother's words stung like hornets even though I knew she was right. I was waging a war I couldn't win. It was time to face the fact I was warring against myself. "Fine," I said. "You win. You want a daughter; you got one. Congratulations Mom, your dream has come true. While Dad and Tyler are fishing we can paint my room pink and hang frilly curtains. Oh, and I'm gong to need some stuffed animals and maybe a Barbie or two. Now, I'd like to finish one meal without you guys chasing me off." The table fell silent. Even Tyler kept quiet. When I was done I got up, rinsed off my plate in the kitchen, then plucked a garbage bag from the cabinet under the sink. I carried the bag to my room where I filled it with my comics. Then I took it back down stairs and handed it to Tyler. "Here," I said. " Put then up for sale on Ebay or give them away. I don't care." Tyler peered into the bag. So did Mom and Dad. "Hey, these are your comics," Tyler exclaimed. " Are you crazy or what?" "You can get the rest of John's stuff tomorrow, " I said ignoring his question. "I'm a girl now. But just so all of you know, I'm going to be the baddest girl you've ever seen." Then I turned and walked away. I was hunched over my schoolwork again when Tyler came in a half hour later. He had the bag of comics with him. "Nice theatrics awhile ago, dude" He said dropping onto my bed without asking, "Mom and Dad are freaked out." "I'm not a dude, " I said, "I'm a chick. I meant what I said at dinner." "You're not going to paint your room pink and everything are you?" Tyler looked concerned. "I might. For now, I'm going to see where the road takes me." I looked at the bag of comics then at my brother. "I meant it about the comics, too. They're yours along with all this." I motioned at the posters on the wall and the models of superheroes on my desk. "Damn Alex," Tyler said, "I don't want your stuff, not this way." "You said yourself you were in it for you," I said. "Some of the comics in that bag are worth serious money. I'm pretty sure J.R. would snatch them up" "Yeah," Tyler said, "But not if it meant losing a brother." "I can't focus on him anymore. It's like you said, the rules have changed." I reminded him. Tyler slowly rose to his feet. He jammed his hands in his pocket and did a sort of a shuffle with his feet before walking to the door. " I guess I'll see you around then," he said. I closed the textbook I was working from and placed it on top of the others. When I looked up he was gone, but he'd left the bag of comics with me.