How I Became The Baddest Girl In Clarksville Part 2 The Girl In The Mirror free porn video

How I became the Baddest Girl in Clarksville Part 2 The Girl in the Mirror -The Road Less Traveled- As Mom steered us out of the parking lot, onto the highway, I glanced back at the window. But the face was gone. A drawn shade filled the space where Frank watched moments before. A few hours earlier, I woke to find myself changed. But excluding the fact everything around me seemed a foot taller, (because it was-- I'd lost a foot of height), I still felt like John. If I focused on a specific part of my body, like my breasts, I noticed a slight weight my chest previously lacked. But this required a conscious effort. Dr. Swanson said this was because my brain was wired differently now. I was fueled by a different set of hormones, rewriting my psyche. I can handle this, I told myself, remembering how I stood up to the creep called Frank. I'd showed more balls as a girl than I ever had as a boy. The thought caused me to giggle. It was a very girly giggle. The high pitched and delicate sound surprised and shocked me. It made me feel ashamed. Before I could deal with my feelings, my mother interrupted me. "What's funny?" she asked. She was smiling like she wanted to be a part of whatever I'd been thinking, like we were two girls sharing a moment. "Nothing," I said. "It was just something stupid. I don't want to talk about it." Her smile faded. I could see hurt and disappointment in her eyes. "Katherine," she began. "I know this is hard for you but it could be so wonderful... for both of us, if you just give it a chance. We can do things together, we can be closer than we ever were before." "Stop calling me that," I said, "My name is not Katherine, not Katie, not Suzie, not Pam, or any other girl name. My name is JOHN! J-O-H-N!" I realized I was shouting. My mother uttered a sound, a mixture of sadness and pain. It reminded me of the cry the baby rabbit made I happened upon. One of our cats had cornered it and it was dying, calling for its mother. "I'm sorry," I said, keeping my voice under control. " I know you want a daughter. I've heard you tell the other professor's wives when you and dad had dinner parties. You said how much you envy them. But I can't do this, I can't be something I'm not." Mother faced the road and away from me. Her jaw ridged, her hands locked on the steering wheel. The tears, running down her cheeks, sparkled in the sunlight. "Jah,,,John" she said , struggling to say my name, "I'm sorry, too. I thought...I ... . Having a daughter would be a dream come true for me. But more importantly, I want you and Tyler to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. It hurts that you think I'd put my wants ahead of yours. Your father feels the same way" "Oh he does," I said. "I guess that's why he wasn't even there when I woke up at the hospital. That proves he cares a hell of a lot." "Honey, He stayed as long as he could. When they realized the changes in your body were from that virus, they ordered him to the plant. They said no one could know you were infected and in the hospital. They couldn't risk someone investigating his absence." "Oh...I said. Suddenly flooded with guilt while still feeling abused and used. Mom extended her right hand and I took it. We were both crying. "Mom, what am I going to do?" I sobbed. I don't know, honey. But whatever you decide, I'll be there for you." After a few minutes Mom released my hand and switched on the radio. The dial was set to a light rock station though the music did little to lift my mood. I sat on my side of the car, drawn up into a fetal position. I hugged my legs with my arms, pressing them against my chest as the soft sounds from the radio washed over me like cool water soothing a fever. Sixteen miles of farmland separated Pine Grove from Clarksville. Normally, someone in a car could cover the distance in less than 30 minutes. However, the road between Pine Grove and Clarksville was an asphalt nightmare that hadn't seen repair in a decade. Worse, it was so narrow, approaching cars were forced to pass teetering on the shoulder of the road or risk sideswiping the other vehicle. Finally, there were the ever-present slow moving harvesters and tractors to contend with. Too big to pass, they forced you to poke behind them until they reached wherever they were going. We were behind one of those now. This one had large tractor wheels on the back and extensions on the side to which metal disks were attached. I guessed its purpose was to make furrows for planting. What ever it did it wasn't designed for speed. It cruised along at a brisk fifteen miles and hour. Aggravated with the farm machine slowing us down, I locked my arms around my shins . With my legs pulled against my chest I could feel my nipples pressing against my thighs. The feeling was pleasant. I was tempted to cup my small breasts in my hands and explore them. I pushed the thought away, forcing my legs together until I was sure I'd left a bruise. That's when I noticed that with my guy junk gone, my legs closed perfectly. Another of those sensations that was both natural and weird. I opened and closed my legs, amazed how I could do that without pinching my balls. I even thought about crossing my legs like I'd seen other girls do curious how it would feel. But with Mom so close I was afraid she might notice and say something. The last thing I wanted was another mother-daughter drama session. I settled for staring out the windshield watching the tractor thing kick up dust each time its right wheel wandered off the road. After following the tractor thing for a mile it turned off giving me something to look at beside its back end. The flat terrain and straight road made it possible to see a far distance before everything melted into blue. I found myself caught up in the beauty of the season. Everywhere, minute variations of color, a hundred shades of autumn reds, yellows and browns, danced before me. And for some weird reason, they made me feel happy. "It's all so beautiful," I said before I realized I'd spoken aloud. "Yes it is," said my mother. A smile played across her lips as if she knew a secret she keeping to herself. I had a suspicion the secret was about me. I shook it off, preferring to enjoy my newfound appreciation of nature's brilliance. Then I noticed the flashing light on the edge of the horizon. It flashed on and off like a luminous pulse, sharp and crisp in the afternoon. As we sped in its direction, it split into two then four, then a half-dozen, all of them blinking madly. "What's going on?" Mom asked. "Those are blue lights," I said, "It must be police." As soon as I said the words I began to tremble. Police meant one thing. Frank changed his mind about letting me go. "Mom, I'm scared, what if this has something to do with the hospital. What if they want to bring me back." "Baby, you're just being silly. How would they know where to find us? We could have gone in any direction. If anything, they'd wait until we were home. But this does bring up a good point. I know you don't like it, but if anyone asks your name, it's Katherine." "Alex," I said smiling weakly. "Alex?" Mom looked confused. "I told the men at the hospital I wanted to use my middle name." "Why...?" She started to say more then waved her hand as if fanning away the question. "It doesn't matter why, just don't call yourself John." We were close enough now to see the source of the lights, several patrol cars. They occupied both sides of the road and wore the Clark County Sheriff's logo. The afternoon traffic moved past them in a slow procession. Two men dressed in uniforms weaved between the cars waving them past. The majority of the officers were crowded in a circle near a red Mustang Cobra. I recognized the car immediately. I'd seen it a dozen times in the student parking lot. It belonged to Bradley Conrad. The circle of cops dissolved as two of the officers, one on each side, escorted a handcuffed figure toward an unmarked black SUV. The back right passenger's door stood open, waiting. Just as we passed, the figure turned its head and the face of Bradley Conrad looked directly at me. Our eyes met. I watched shock wash across his face. Then he was thrust into the back seat of the car. Its darkened windows made it impossible to see more. "I'm betting that young man is in trouble," said Mom. "I wonder what he did?" "Probably speeding or something," I said, trying to keep my voice level. "People should learn to obey the law." -Home not so Sweet Home- With the patrol cars and their flashing lights behind us I relaxed a little. Even so, I couldn't get Bradley's shocked expression out of my mind. Had he recognized me as John? And what if he had? It changed nothing. Unless an antidote existed somewhere, something that reversed the effects of the Adam to Eve virus, John Tetras remained a memory. Except I refused to let that happen. I had no intention of living my life as a girl. I worried Mom might say something else about Bradley. Like she might have noticed the way he looked at me or recognized him from a picture or something. My feud with Bradley was a private one. I preferred to even things out in my own way, in my own time. But I needn't have worried. The topic never came up. Instead we made small talk about reenrolling me in school, as a freshman -that sucked -- and what I might want for dinner. I noticed she avoided the shopping trip she'd practically drooled over earlier. As we talked, I counted the mile markers toward home. When we reached the Clarksville town limits I felt as if I were connecting with an old friend. Clarksville meant home and a chance to reconnect with John. Mom rocketed down the streets, a missile with our home as the target. All the while, I rehearsed my argument that I should be treated the same as before the virus. I expected be referred to and of course to be thought of as John. That's who I was -- I only looked different. Actually the first thing on my to-do list would be to cut my hair. It hung near shoulder length before my run in with Bradley. The virus added several inches. When we did shop, my wardrobe would consist of jeans and t-shirts, with a few button downs. There was no point in trying to get me into a dress or a skirt. It wasn't going to happen. I'd figure out how to deal with school as I went along. Then, with my plan of action sorted out, I felt better. I found myself humming softly with the radio when we turned into our driveway. Dad was raking leaves when we pulled in. This was odd. Leaf raking was a chore left to Tyler and me. Mom noticed it too. We all knew how much Dad hated yard work. He put the rake aside and walked over to meet us as Mom stopped the car. He and Mom embraced -another rare event--as I exited my side of the car. "You're raking leaves?" Mom said, her voice light with a hint of humor, "You should have saved that for the boys." Dad eyes were on me when she said boys. We both tensed as if we'd been slapped. "Oh, baby," Mom said, facing me, "I didn't realize...I mean I forgot you're ..." "It's fine Mom," I cut in, not wanting her to finish. My voice sounded even more high-pitched than before. Dad continued to stare at me, his eyes wide. "John that's you isn't it." "Yeah Dad, who else would it be." I felt like a spectacle, the same as I'd felt leaving the hospital, though no one seemed to notice me. Mom and I simply walked out the door. "Amazing!" he said, his face lit with astonishment, "It's been less than forty-eight hours. How can a virus work that fast?" "I guess you guys do good work," I said. "It's nice to know what your priorities are." "I'm sorry," he said, " Sometimes the scientist slips out. How are you holding up, pal? I know this must be difficult." I wanted to say the most difficult thing about my condition was everyone reminding me of it. Instead I changed the subject. "Where's Tyler? "He's spending the night at Nathan's," Dad said. "When your mother called and said you were coming home I thought you might appreciate some time to yourself. I know Tyler can be an irritation." Nathan was one of Tyler's punk friends. I remembered him being even more obnoxious than Tyler. "Does he know?" I asked. "We discussed it but I don't think he fully understood. Don't be surprised if he's a little shocked when he sees you." I made a noise between a snort and a laugh. "I'm still a little shocked when I see me." I said. "I'm going to hang out in my room for a while." I was feeling tired and wanted to be where I wasn't the topic of conversation. "Sure, honey," Mom said. I started toward the house when Dad reached out and swept me into his arms, pulling me close. I could smell his maleness. There was something foreign about it I'd never noticed before. "I'm glad you're home and safe," he said. He released me and quickly turned away, but not before I saw the glitter of tears in his eyes. -Me and My Shadow- Upstairs, in the bathroom I shared with Tyler, I stood before the mirror. With Mom and Dad outside I didn't expect to be disturbed. Still I locked the door. I wanted privacy. I ran my hands -so small now--over the white porcelain of the basin. It was smooth and cool. A rack holding two toothbrushes, one blue and one red, rested just to the right of the faucets. A towel with orange stripes hung neatly on its rack next to the bath. Everything was as I remembered. The only difference was the mirror. My diminished height forced me to stand on tiptoe to see into it. I flipped over the small metal wastebasket, mom insisted we have, but never used, and stood on it. Now I could look at myself more easily. And there she was, the girl with large blue eyes and hair the color of sunlight on honey. I lifted my hand to my cheek letting it caress my skin, so different than John's. I touched my nose, my fingers tracing the tiny splay of freckles across its bridge. Tilting my head to one side and then the other I watched the way my hair fell across my face. I smiled, and then pouted, stuck out my tongue, and then batted my eyes like a vamp. I continued making faces until I used up every expression in my repertoire. "I'm going to cut your hair," I said, shaking my finger at the blonde girl. "I'm going to make you into a boy again. Just wait." Leaping off the wastebasket I rushed to the door and tugged on it several times before I remembered it was locked. Fumbling the bolt open I fled across the hall to my room. Then I buried my face in my pillow and cried. Mom's knocks on the door saying dinner was ready woke me up. My pillow was damp from my tears. I'd fallen into an uneasy sleep. The kind where you can't remember your dreams-- you just know they were strange. "John, did you hear me? Dinner," Mom repeated loudly. "I'm not hungry," I yelled back. "It's pizza, from that place you like so much." "I don't know." "Honey, you need to eat something." Realizing she wasn't going away until I said okay, I agreed. I stopped by the bathroom to wash my face. My head still felt strange from the dreams as I wobbled down the stairs. When I reached the bottom my nose filled with the aroma of freshly baked pizza. The smell of deliciousness reminded me I hadn't eaten in days --unless they had fed me intravenously. Mom had served Dad and herself when I reached the dinning room. The fact we were eating there, and not at the bar in the kitchen, struck me as odd. We reserved our dinning room for holidays and relatives. Mom was about to take her seat when she saw me. She smiled and then plopped a large slice of pizza on a paper plate along with fresh salad. She placed it in the spot where I always sat. I hoisted myself onto the tall dinning room chair. Because of my diminutive size, my feet barely touched the floor. Mom handed me a plastic fork for the salad and a glass of Pepsi. "The Pepsi came with the pizza," she said, knowing I preferred coke. Armed with my plastic fork, I started in on my dinner. The first bite of pizza tasted heavenly, I had to fight the urge to gobble up my food too fast and risk cramps. I took a second bite, savoring the flavor of cheese, pepperoni and sauce, when Dad dropped a bomb on me. "So what do we call you now?" he asked. "Katherine or Katie?" Suddenly the pizza tasted like cardboard. I shoved my plate to the side. I wasn't hungry anymore, as anger swept over me like a torrential flood. "My name is John." I said, careful to keep my voice level. I wanted to scream. "I've already gone over this with Mother. She must have told you. How else could you know she wanted to name me Katherine." I could feel my face burn with rage as I turned to confront my mother. I imagined my eyes boring holes into her. "Just so you know, " I said, "I've decided to wear my hair short. If I have to, I'll cut it myself." Mom and Dad exchanged looks. Mom placed her hand on Dad's arm and turned to me. "Kath..." she caught herself and began again. "John, I made a promise to you and I intend to stand by it. However, you're going to have to enroll at school in a few days. We can hardly register you as John Tetras," "Why not? Why can't I tell people what really happened " I asked, "Maybe if I did, there might be a doctor that could change me back with surgery or something. I've heard of women being made into men so why couldn't I be made into a boy again. I think you just want to keep me a girl!" "John," Dad sighed, "if I could have prevented this I would. But it happened and now we're stuck. You can't tell anyone, because no one can know. The Adam to Eve virus is secret. No one outside of the "plant" knows about it and it has to stay that way. Can you imagine what might happen if a rogue country discovered such a thing possible? Or worse, that we've developed a formula that can produce results. It could start a second cold war. Not only that but if anyone suspected you'd been infected our family would become a target. Even countries that call themselves friends would try to get their hands on you. They 'd want to study the extent of your body's changes and get samples of your DNA You'd be a human guinea pig." "Is that why Frank was so upset?" I asked. "Frank? " Dad looked confused, then his lips formed a half-smile. "You mean Colonel Benjamin Schwartz?" "I guess, Dr, Swanson did call him The Colonel." "Who's Frank?" Mom asked. "He's part of the three men responsible for the development of the virus." Dad said, Frank was his code name. Dr. Swanson is the second person involved. His code name was Dean there's a third they called Sammy, but I've never met him or know who he is. They called themselves the Rat Pack because they used lab rats to develop the Adam to Eve virus." "I remember the Rat Pack as a little girl," said Mom, "Let's see it was Frank Sanatra Dean Martin and I think, Sammy Davis Jr. They were so funny in the movies and on television. "Well there's nothing funny about Schwartz and the others," said Dad. "It was stupid of me to take this job. If I'd waited for something else to come along this wouldn't have happened." I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure of my feelings. "You did what you thought was right. Steve." said Mom. "You were trying to provide for us. It was that Conrad boy's fault. Why wasn't he arrested?" "Probably for the same reason John has to pretend to be his sister," Dad said, "The virus has to remain a secret. Funny though, I haven't seen Dr, Conrad around the last day or so." Actually Bradley had been arrested. I'd witnessed it on the way home. But it was no one's business but mine. "Can we talk about something else," I said. "We haven't decided what name to register you in school with." said Mom. "So, until we do, no." "I thought you decided on my name even before I woke up," I said. "Katherine." "Well yes, Honey, we did. We had to because you needed a new birth certificate, but I'm talking about a nickname. You can pick any nickname you want." "If I do can I be excused?" "Choose carefully," Dad grinned, "Vat ever you choose, you must live with forever." He said, faking a bad German accent. "I already know," I said. "What I told Mom earlier. I want go by my new middle name." "Alexandria?" Dad asked. "No, Alex," I said. "I don't know," Dad shook his head. "That's a boy's name. People may ask questions." "Steve, lots of girls are named Alex," Mom said. "Alex is fine, Honey. We'll tell the school that's the name you prefer to go by." "Thanks Mom," I said. Suddenly I had the impulse to hug and kiss her. We were both surprised when I did. On my way to my room, I felt better about things. I might not be a boy anymore but I could damn sure be a tomboy. And that was the next best thing. -Clothes make the Girl- I woke the next morning not wanting to get out of bed. Today would be the first real day of my new and shitty life. I stayed put, with the covers pulled up to my chin, until the pressure of my bladder forced me to make a trip to the bathroom. I shucked down the pair of Tyler's briefs I used for underwear and plopped myself on the toilet. With nothing to aim my hands felt idle. Plucking a couple of sheets of toilet paper off the roll, I folded them into a neat square. The task kept my mind off the way I was now forced to pee, with my pants down and my tee shirt hiked up over my butt. I finished up, wiped, and pulled my underwear up. I dressed in the clothes I'd worn yesterday and met Mom in the kitchen. Dad was seated at the bar sipping coffee as he scanned the newspaper. He put his cup down when he saw me and smiled. "How's my favorite girl this morning," he said. "Favorite girl? Gawd Dad, do we really have to play that game," I said. "It's me, remember." I noticed that Mom was smiling. Dad's look was more serious. "You're Alex now. You need to adjust to your new identity," he said, tucking the paper under his arm. His kissed mom, then surprisingly he kissed me on the cheek as he passed. "Gotta go," he said. "See you girls tonight." After breakfast Mom led me into their bedroom. "We need to get you some bras today, but I think it's better that I fit you for one myself. They have sales people that are trained to fit bras but it might raise questions, seeing you're so developed and still aren't wearing one." Having my Mom do the fitting was fine by me. I didn't want strangers messing with my chest, anyway. Mom had me take off my shirt. She rummaged though Tyler's old clothes until she found a tee shirt that fit me snuggly. Once she had the shirt adjusted to her liking she took a soft tape measure and measured just under my breasts, and then around them. She jotted her findings on a sheet of paper and tucked it in her purse "We're not done," she said, as I started for the door. She indicated a chair by the vanity, near the bed. "Have a seat." I turned the chair so the mirror was to my back. Then I sat down and waited. Mom frowned. "Nice try, Alex " she said, "but I want you facing the mirror, so you can see how I do this. You'll need do it for yourself." She grabbed a brush off the vanity and went to work on my hair. "I swear, Alex. You must have a thousand tangles," she complained, tugging the brush hard. "Owww! That hurt!" I yowled. "If you had brushed your hair last night it wouldn't," she said. While she worked, my eyes drifted to the mirror where the blonde girl lived. Once a stranger, she was now becoming a familiar face. She seemed to take delight in the indignity of my mother brushing my hair. I could see a smirk play across her lips. I glared back at her, then turned my eyes to the side so I couldn't see her anymore. When mom finished brushing, she pulled my hair into a high ponytail and fixed it with a scrunchy. There was something cool about the way my hair swung behind me as I moved. I chastised myself for enjoying the feeling. I was determined to prove Dr. Swanson wrong. He claimed I'd slowly start thinking like a girl, enjoying girl things. That wasn't going to happen. Not as long as I remembered I was John. We decided to shop at Wal-Mart rather than at the mall. Wal-Mart would be less personal. Neither of us wanted anyone asking questions like people in small towns tend to do. On the way, I pressed mom with some questions of my own. "You're not going to shop for dresses are you? Because, I'm not wearing any," I warned. "No, honey, we're simply looking for underwear and things that you can wear to school." "Well I only want jeans. Okay?" Mom laughed. "Relax Alex," she said. Let's try to make this fun." I wanted to sit back and chill but I found it difficult. Alex Tetras was about to make her first public appearance. If I found a simple shopping trip difficult, how would I deal with school where I would be under intense scrutiny from the other students? There would be questions, like why I appeared at the exact time John wasn't around anymore. It was one more thing I'd have to deal with. Thinking about school reminded me of Monica. I'd been in love with her as John. I remembered how she filled out her cheerleading uniform and a surge of excitement shot through me I clamped my legs together ready to pinch off the hard-on I knew was coming. Then, I felt the emptiness between my legs. Well, I told myself, at least I wouldn't have to worry about embarrassing boners anymore. One more way of how my life now sucked. Vans and SUVs filled the Wal-Mart parking lot when we arrived. Half the town must be here, I thought as I scanned the sea of vehicles. Didn't these people have jobs? I sighed. The last thing I wanted was to be noticed. John had become a familiar face but Alex wasn't. Someone would ask questions I was sure. Who was I, where was I from, why was I here. That's how it was in small towns. "Ready to shop, honey?" Mom asked switching off the car engine. "There sure are a lot of cars," I said. "Yes there are, does that matter?" "People are going to be looking at me, wondering who I am." Mom smiled and patted my hand. "You're my daughter," she said. "You're name is Alex and you've just arrived from California. That's all they need to know." She slipped out of the drivers seat and waited outside the car for me to join her. She took my hand and we walked through the store's entrance together. The Wal-Mart greeter, a thin old man pushing ninety or possibly an entire century, nodded at us and smiled. Obviously, we were just another pair of Wal-Mart shoppers seeking out those blue light specials (or what ever Wal-Mart's gimmick is) and the awesome shopping ambiance old Wally built into his chain. In my short time in Clarksville, I'd rarely ventured anywhere other than to Cal's house or school. I'd never bothered to even visit the mall. The first thing that struck me was the size of the store. It was huge. The second thing was the number of checkouts, there were over a dozen, all of them ringing up sales. Shoppers, mostly women with small children, weaved in and out of isles steering shopping carts. Mom grabbed a cart of her own and we set off. I followed as Mom took a zigzag course through the store, emerging in an open area of clothes racks. I spotted some cool jeans I thought might fit my new size and started toward them when mom grabbed my arm. "Not those Alex," she said. "Why not?" I asked. "Those are cool." She smiled gently. "Those are boy's jeans. The girls section is over here," She began pushing her cart toward an area a short distance away. I started to protest but realized the futility. I hurried after her to the girl's clothes. When I caught up with Mom she was rummaging through a rack of bras. I walked over and lifted one from the rod where they where they were suspended. An attached tag showed a smiling girl in a gleaming white brassiere I glanced at my own chest and my tiny budding breasts. They were too small to need support; they stood easily erect on their own. "Bra's do more than support," Mom said when I pointed things out, " They also keep boys from getting a free peep." She handed me a couple of boxed bra sets. "These should be about right," she said. I looked at the package. It was marked a junior A cup or something. None of it made a lot of sense. I shrugged and dropped them in our basket. I figured Mom knew what she was doing. "Now let's find you some proper underwear," said my mother as we pushed off again. Unlike the bras, where I let Mom shop for me, I took part in choosing my underwear. I insisted on Hanes because they were the closest to boy's briefs. The downside was every pair was decorated in some girly way with hearts, bows or something equally sissy. At least they would be hidden under my pants. The next stop was for jeans and tops. The only offerings were skinny jeans. Apparently, this was what every one was wearing. I picked through the rack avoiding pairs with embroidery around the pockets and down the legs. I did choose pairs that were colored other than dungaree blue. Instead I opted for black, shades of purple, and reds. Mom helped me pick out tops that matched though some were frillier than to my liking. After we'd loaded up with jeans, we moved to the shoe department located at the back of the store. When I thought about it, this seem to be the rule for all discount marts - to keep the shoes in the back. When we arrived, mom once again steered me away from the boys section to the girls, but this time I complained. "Its shoes Mom. Everybody's feet are the same." "In that case," my mother said with a grin. "You shouldn't care if they're girl's shoes since they're the same." I sighed but followed her to the section marked WOMEN AND GIRLS. Mom left me to pick out my own shoes while she sat on one of the padded benched the store provide for trying on footwear for fit. I poured over a fairly large selection of Nike knock-offs, loafers and some cheap looking dress shoes when I spotted a pair of Converse Hi-Tops in hot pink. I wasn't crazy about the color but the style was exactly what I wanted. I found a woman wearing a Wal-Mart tag and approached her, the shoes in my hand. "Do you have these in another color?" I asked. She studied the sneakers then shook her head. "I didn't know we even had these," she said. "This is a brand we don't normally carry." I thanked her and went to find an empty bench where I tired them on. Delighted that they fit, I showed them to Mom. "You chose pink?" It was a half-question. "That's the last color I thought you would wear." "Mom they're Converse Hi-Tops," I said, as if that explained everything. "Besides I can always dye them." Mom frowned. "We're not dying anything. Either you agree to wear them that color or pick out something else." I opted for the hi-tops, pink or not. As we headed to the checkout I felt exhausted. The cashier smiled as she scanned our things. "Shopping for school?" she asked. "Yes," said Mom, "how did you know?" I was wondering the same thing. School had been in session for over a month. The woman laughed. "Clarksville is a small town," she said. "And everybody shops here. Your faces are new so I figured you've just moved here and are starting school late." "Actually, my husband and I arrived about six weeks ago." Mom corrected, "But we waited until we were settled in to send for Alex." "Well you're cute as a bug, Alex," said the woman looking at me. "The boys are sure gonna pester you for attention." The cashier finished bagging our purchases "Welcome to Clarksville," she said, passing the bag to mom. "Nice to meet you both." "That wasn't so bad was it?" Mom asked as we trudged back to the car. "I could have done without the me being cute comments," I said. My face still burned from embarrassment. "Well she's right Alex," mom said. "You're a very pretty girl. You're going to attract boys." "Can we go home now," I said, changing the subject. I was becoming a master at shifting away from topics that made me uncomfortable. "I still have a stop to make, Mom said, "but I thought we'd have lunch at the mall first." "I thought we agreed not to shop at the mall," I reminded her. "We're not shopping, dear," this is personal. I slumped in my seat. This was going to be a long fucking trip. -Just Us Girls- We had lunch at the food court in the mall. Like Wal-Mart, most of the shoppers were women with young children. I was glad no one my age was around. I wasn't ready to interact with anyone. The food court was located in an open area at one end of the mall. It afforded a nice view of the atrium that included a fountain and benches, with stores on either side. I sat munching the last of my cheeseburger, letting my eyes roam when I saw him. A lone male figure dressed in a dark blue suit. His eyes were hidden behind mirror sunglasses and he seemed to survey the shoppers with bored disinterest. My world narrowed to him. I became oblivious to everything else. I knew he was from the "plant". But whatever he was interested in, it didn't seem to be me-- at least for the moment. "Alex, are you listening to me?" "Oh..huh," I said trying to clear my head. I'd zoned out watching the guy. "I asked you if you were done eating. I have an appointment in a few minutes." Mom said, her voice stern. "What were you looking at anyway?" "I thought I saw a friend, but it wasn't them," I lied. "Well come on," she said, her tone gentler. We gathered our trash and disposed of it in the garbage bin then I followed Mom out of the food court and into the mall. As Mom marched us past the various shops and stands I searched for signs of the man in the blue suit and mirror glasses. The only people in sight were mothers with young children. I considered he could have taken cover in one of the stores, but I doubted that. He'd made no effort to hide his presence from anyone. The question was what did he want? I was so preoccupied with my search that when Mom stopped at out destination I bumped into her. "Alex, watch where you're walking?" she scolded. "You almost knocked me down." I looked at the store we stood in front of and blinked in disbelief. "Just Girls!!!??" I said reading the name. "We're stopping here? Are you serious?" I swept my eyes up and down the storefront. Its fa?ade was designed to resemble a clubhouse with fake planks of wood around two large picture windows that flanked the entrance. The fake wood was made to look as if someone had painted messages that read "Girls only" and "no boys allowed." "I told you I'm not wearing a dress," I said, suspecting a trap. "We're not here for you, Alex," Mom said. We're here for me. I put in an application a week ago for a part-time job. It's lonely with you and Tyler at school and your dad at work." "You're going to be a sales person?!" I couldn't imagine my mom behind a register. "No dear, they need someone to keep books. I did take accounting courses in college. Now we need to go in before I'm late." Mom left me to entertain myself. Then she and the store manager went into the back. The saleswoman behind the counter glanced at me. "You need help with anything, hon?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my mom to get done," I said nodding toward the door Mom and the manager passed though. "Well if you see anything you like, let me know." She smiled and then turned her attention to flipping through a large binder. With nothing to do, I wandered around the store. Much of the merchandize was the same as I'd seen in Wal-Mart, though the quality was better. There were racks of dresses and skirts, a section of designer hoodies -an item that was becoming more popular every year-- shorts and tops. Fashion bags hung from one wall. Large posters of beautiful models engaged in every kind of activity divided various sections of clothing. I kept myself busy poking through the different sections of clothes, moving from rack to rack until I stood before a single blue dress. The dress hung on a stand-alone hanger. A red tag declared it had been marked down for its original price. It was definitely a party dress with a low cut back and spaghetti straps ending in a sculpted front so the breasts were covered but the area around them was tastefully exposed. It was the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen and I couldn't take my eyes off it. I ran my hand across the fabric as I watched the light dance across its blue surface. I wondered how the shiny material might feel against my skin. Just then a hand fell on my shoulder. "Hey girl," said a voice, "back off the dress." I turned around to find two girls behind me. I recognized one as Sadie Simmons. She'd been in my English 11 class when I was John. Like Bradley Conrad, Sadie was one of the fortunate ones, one of the rich kids that always got their way. The other girl could have been a younger version of Sadie. She looked to be my age. I guessed they were sisters. For a moment we faced each other. Sadie looked me up and down her expression smirkier than usual. "You're new here," she said. It was a statement, not a question and one I was tired of hearing. "Yeah, I'm new. What about it?" I said, waiting to see where this was going. "Let me clue you in on something, new girl," Sadie said, "My sister likes this dress and if my little sister likes something I make sure she gets it. We're just waiting for our mother to finish her hair appointment." "But, what if I like it too?" "Then I'd suggest you find something else," said the younger girl. "I'm taking Brooke for ice cream. That dress better be here when we get back," said Sadie. Brooke laughed. "We don't have to worry, sis. Look how she's dressed. She looks like a hobo. She couldn't afford that dress." "Bye hobo," said Sadie as they went out the door. "See you around, loser." I looked down at Tyler's hand-me-downs I was wearing. My new clothes would take care of that. Still, it made me mad the Simmons sisters thought they could boss me around. I decided to teach them a lesson. I was still looking at the dress when Mom came from her meeting. "How did your interview go?" I asked Mom smiled. "Perfect, I start next week." She glanced me and then at the blue dress. "You're looking at dresses?" she asked. "I was thinking..." I said starting slowly. "I'm going to make new friends and everything. Maybe I should get a dress you know for parties and things." Mom's face lit up with a sort of joy. "Oh baby, I think that's a wonderful idea. Did you have one in mind?" "Yeah, actually I did," I said. "This blue one." Mom looked at the dress closely. "It's about your size but don't you think it's a little uh... revealing for a first dress. I mean spaghetti straps, I don't know. Alex. Why don't we look at something else." "I like this one," I said. "If I can't have it, I don't want a dress at all." Mom sighed. "You are so stubborn, Alex. Alright, you can have this one, if it fits." Mom signaled the saleswoman. "We're interested in this dress." The woman came over and slipped it off its hanger. "The dressing room is over there," she gestured to a booth near the employees' only door. "Do I have to try it on here," I said. Trying on dresses wasn't part of my plan. I'd only wanted to get even with Sadie. "Honey we need to be sure it fits." "I can see at home, in my room. Please, please, pleasssseeeeeee." I saw mom was starting to give. "Very well, but I if I buy it. I expect you to wear it." "I promise," I said, knowing that wasn't going to happen. "We'll have to get you shoes to go with it." "Let me see if the dress fits," I suggested. "If it does we can do another shopping trip like today." Mom thought for a moment. "I'd like that," she said. "Maybe we'll go this weekend." "Sure," I said knowing the weekend was several days away. That gave me plenty of time to think up an excuse to get out of it. On the way to the car I felt proud. I'd got back at Sadie and Brooke while avoiding more grueling shopping. I glanced at the blue dress in its paper sleeve draped over the seat. I imagined Sadie and Brooke's reaction when they found the dress missing. Score one for the little hobo girl. -My Brother's Keeper- "Tyler's upstairs in his room," said dad as he helped us bring our bags into the house. "He's asking a lot of questions." I hadn't seen my brother since the change. I wondered how he would react to see me as a girl. Our relationship would be different for sure. I'd always thought of him as a pain in the ass. But now, how Tyler would think of me was important. "Do you want me to get him?" Dad asked. "We can all sit and discuss this together." "I think I'd rather see him by myself, first," I said. Dad nodded. "Whatever way you want to do it, honey. Just let me know if you need me." I climbed the stairs with slow deliberate steps. I thought this might be how gunfighters felt as they left the saloon for a showdown. I reached the landing and saw his door was closed. I could hear the faint sounds of his television but couldn't identify the show. I rapped softly on his door and when there was no answer rapped harder. "Yeah," came a muffled voice from inside. "Who is it?" "Me," I said, then realized he wouldn't recognize my voice. "It's John," I corrected pitching my voice as deep as I could. "Can I come in?" "I don't know. You sound funny." I opened the door in a slow motion taking in the room as I did. Tyler sat on his bed gently rocking back and forth. His hands gripped the covers. I could tell he was afraid like me. "Hi," I said stepping into the room. Tyler stared, his mouth moved but made no sounds. "You're not contagious are you?" he managed finally. "No," I replied, " Can I sit down?" "Over there," He pointed to the other end of the bed. " Are those my old clothes you're wearing?" he asked. "Yeah. My stuff doesn't fit anymore," I said taking a seat. He turned away from me and began rocking faster. I could see something building inside him. "Tyler..." I began but he cut me off. "Don't talk to me or say my name," he said. "I just..." "DON'T TALK TO ME," he yelled. "You're a freak and I think want you gone!" My eyes began to tear. I cursed myself for being so weak that I cried over everything now. I place a hand over my mouth to cover the sobs and raced out the door. In the hall I stumbled to my parents' room and over to the vanity. I found my mom's sewing shears in one of the drawers and then faced the girl in the mirror. Grabbing a thick lock of hair, I brought the scissors up blades open and ready for business when Mom stopped me. "Cutting your hair is not going to solve anything Alex," she said. "It's certainly not going to turn you into a boy again. ": "What do you know about how I feel?" I asked, turning to face her. "I may understand more than you think," she said. "We'll talk one day." "How did you know I was here, anyway?" I asked. "I was putting your things in your room and I heard Tyler yell," she placed her hands on my shoulders, massaging them gently. "He needs time, honey. You both do. Make me a promise that you won't do anything drastic like cutting your hair for ...let's say a week. Then, if you still want short hair, I'll take you to a stylist. Deal?" "One week," I said, "that's all?" "One week," mom repeated. "Okay." Supper was a somber affair. Mom and Dad kept the conversation away from my visit with Tyler, while neither Tyler nor me said anything at all. Throughout the meal I could feel Tyler's eyes as if he were studying me, seeing me for the first time. I finished my dinner, relived not to have to endure any more of Tyler's stares. I sat my plate in the sink then went to my room to put away my new clothes. I removed John's underwear from my dresser drawers replacing it with my new stuff with the exception of one pair of panties. I'd need them for after my shower. I left my bras in their boxes where they'd stay until I needed one. Because I still didn't have sleepwear I kept a couple of John's baggy tees to sleep in. All of John's other stuff went into the plastic bag I carried upstairs for that purpose. Once the dresser drawers were filled, I removed my old clothes from my closet and hung my new jeans and shirts. I hung the blue dress in its paper sleeve in the very back. When I finished, I surveyed the room. Except for girl's clothes in the closet, it still looked like a boy's room. My posters from Comic Con hung on the wall and my models of super heroes stood on my desk amongst my comic books. But why should I have to change anything, anyway? It was my room. I grabbed the panties and the baggy shirt off my bed and headed to the shower. Whether my body was now more sensitive or I was just weary, the shower felt delicious. I lingered under the warm spray until it began to go cold. When I finished, I toweled off quickly. I was uncomfortable with my new body. The sooner I dressed the better. I hurried to where I left my panties and baggy shirt on the lowered toilet lid. This particular pair of panties was a pale blue with horizontal purple stripes. At first I was confused with how to tell the front from the back. There was no opening in the front like the briefs I'd worn as John. Then I remembered Mom saying the tag should be on the left. I followed Moms instructions and slipped them on. They fit more snugly than boy's briefs but were surprisingly comfortable. I poked my head and arms into the T-shirt, wrapped my damp hair in a towel, then headed to my room. I found my door closed though I hadn't left it that way. I opened it to find Tyler seated in my desk chair. He'd turned it so he could face the door. He smiled when he saw me. "Nice outfit," he said, taking in my makeshift nightshirt. "What are you doing here?" I said. I didn't try to hide my anger. He'd hurt me earlier and I wasn't feeling forgiving. "I've been thinking about things since supper. Maybe you're not a freak after all. Maybe you're just changed." "Gee thanks," I said. "Do you have anything else to say before I throw you out?" Tyler grinned. "You might could have when you were John, sis, but I don't think you can pull that one off anymore." "I'll call, Mom," I said feeling the anger rise. Tyler was the same asshole he'd been when I was John. "Oh my," Tyler mocked, "little sister's gotta call Momma because-- " Before he could finish, I rushed across the room and threw myself on him. The impact of our bodies colliding caused Tyler to topple backwards in the chair taking me with him. We fell on floor in a tangle with my makeshift nightshirt up around my waist. I struggled to break away from Tyler's grip but the was too strong. He forced me onto my back and pinned my arms. I could feel the cold floor against my bare thighs and through my panties. I wiggled my hips trying to work the nightshirt down leaving me less exposed. "Fucking chill, dammit," he hissed. "I'm not going to fight with you." "Let me go!" I cried. "If I do, will you listen to what I have to say?" I nodded. He helped me to my feet. I pulled the nightshirt down hoping he hadn't seen my nakedness. If he had, he didn't say anything. I sat on the bed my legs pressed together while he righted the chair. He dragged it close to me before he sat down. "I need you to do something," he said. "What?" "Join a group." "Why?" I asked. "Because I can't. A girl has to do it and well... now you're a girl." "If its something like the cheerleaders or dance team, forget it," I said. Tyler smiled but this time it wasn't an asshole smile, it was gentle. "No, I just need you to make friends with some people, some other girls. Kinda get into their clic." "I don't know if you noticed," I said, "but lately I haven't done too good a job of making friends." "That was when you were John," said Tyler. "No offense, but as John you looked like a goofus. You were a goofus. Now you're different. I think you could even be popular." "I don't know," I said, "you're talking crazy." "Just do this for me," said Tyler, "at least try." "And if I do--" Before I could finish there was a knock on the door followed by my mother calling my name. "Alex, is everything alright?" Tyler jumped out of the chair and darted behind the door as it opened. Mom looked in. "I heard a noise," she said, "Like something heavy falling over." "It wasn't in here," I lied. "Maybe Tyler dropped something." "I checked his room but he's not in there." "I don't know Mom. I didn't hear anything." She smiled, "Well if you're okay." "I'm fine." She made to close the door then paused. " Oh, brush your hair before bed," she said. "Tomorrow we have to enroll you in school. You don't want to go with tangled hair." "Night mom," I said "Good night, honey." Tyler stepped away from his hiding place as I closed the door. He put his ear against it, listening. "She's gone," he said. "Okay, what's this about?" I demanded. "I don't have time to explain right now. I don't want Mom finding me here," he said. "But, if you help me. I'll help you get even with Bradley Conrad." He stepped into the hall pulling the door half closed behind him. Then he stuck his head back in. "By the way, nice panties you're wearing," he laughed. "I like the purple stripes." He slammed the door just as I threw a pillow at his head.