How I Became The Baddest Girl In Clarksville Part 10 Jar Of Hearts free porn video

How I became the Baddest Girl in Clarksville Part 10 Jar of Hearts -I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling- My proposed sleepover dominated the conversation during lunch. The biggest issue was how to spend our time. Shelly had half a dozen movies she wanted us to see. Abby, who'd recently discovered K-pop, wanted to watch DVDs of boy bands gone 'Gangnam style'. Brett pushed for us to do each others hair and nails. From where I sat they were simply three voices in the mass chatter of the lunch room. My attention was elsewhere. I was on the prowl for Austin. I'd almost lost him forever and even now I wasn't sure I hadn't. He said he might call but what if he didn't. My obsession over him was silly. I didn't feel a physical connection toward him. It was more curiosity but it was eating away at me like a slowly progressing cancer and it was all I could think about since this morning. "What about you Alex," Brett said. "Huh?" I asked hearing my name. "The sleepover. Hellooooo. Were you even listening? It was your idea." "Oh yeah, what about it?" Brett loosed an exasperated sigh. "What do you want to do that night? Shelly wants to watch movies, Abby wants to show her concert DVDs. I think we should do makeovers." "Oh, you want to know what I think we should do." "Hallelujah!" Brett cried, imitating the Sunday televangelists. "It's a mir-Rah-cle. She's back from the dead." "I don't know," I said ignoring her sarcasm. "Whatever." "Arghhhhhhh," Brett growled, dragging her fingers down her face. "Why do I even try with you?" I sighed, remembering Austin had said something similar to me the day he ended it. Where the fuck WAS he? "Hey! That's weird?" said Abby "What's weird?" Shelly asked. "Look." Abby pointed across the table past me and Shelly. "Where are they?" I twisted around in my chair and spotted the root of Abby's perplexity. The Debs table was vacant, all the chairs were empty, which was strange. They sat there everyday. I looked around but I couldn't find them "Where do you think they are?" Abby asked. "Maybe they ditched school to eat lunch off campus," Shelly suggested. "All they eat is salad," I said. "They can get that here. Besides the Deb don't do anything that could get them in trouble. They have that precious reputation to maintain." "Wow! You really hate them don't you," said Brett. I flashed Brett a hard look. "Shhhh...here they come," said Abby. I glanced around and saw the tight group of them sashaying Deb style toward their table, armed with their daily helping of veggies. Brooke was with them. A plastic sack, bearing the Clarksville Mall logo, dangled from her hand. Brooke said something and they all laughed. When they reached their table they shifted places from Randi on down, leaving the spot next to Chrissy Allen for Brooke. Brooke placed the bag on the table and wiggled in next to Chrissy smiling like the cat that not only ate the canary but three gold fish and a can of "Friskies". Brooke reached into the bag and withdrew several small boxes, the cloth covered kind that hold jewelry. She handed one to each Deb. The Debs opened their gifts and lifted out silver charm bracelets. tiny letters hanging from the links spelling out their names. Some of the Debs leaned over and gave Brooke a hug. The ones seated too far away to hug reached out and touched her hand or shoulder. Brooke noticed me watching and waved. I turned away my cheeks burning, wondering why the hell I cared. "We ought to think about sitting somewhere else tomorrow," I said. "The view from here sucks." "Ignore her, Alex," Shelly said, noticing the exchange between me and my archenemy. "Let's talk about the sleep over." Shelly, Brett and Abby fell back into the debate of how we were going to spend out awake time at Ms. Gartman's but for me it was so much blah. My mind switched back to Austin. I really wanted to see him even if it was only to glimpse him walking past At the same time I wondered just what Brooke was up to. As much as I hated the Debs and their fake shit, I was angry with myself. I'd created the perfect opening for Brooke to take my place. I had practically waved her in. When the bell rang I wanted to shout for joy. After agonizing over Austin while simultaneously wishing Brooke Simmons would choke to death on a piece of lettuce, fourth period was looking good. If someone asked me my least favorite part of the school day I would have answered fourth period. Fourth period meant Geometry (eeeooowwww) with Mr. Bosco (eeeeooooowwwweeeerrrr) the most uninteresting teacher at Clarksville High. Mr. Bosco had all the personality of stump (actually the stump was more interesting. Today we were playing around with Pythagorean triples on graph paper -borrrr-iinnngg. But if it got my mind off of Austin I'd graft triangles all afternoon. -Where in the Hell Did You Go with My Toothbrush- When I got home, I found myself moping around the house and snapping at everybody.. Between what I'd witnessed at the Debs' table (Brooke welcomed into the plastic world of superficiality) Brett trying to turn the sleepover into a themed event and agonizing over Austin, my emotional circuits were overloaded threatening to short out. Tyler, on the other hand, couldn't have been more upbeat if he'd been slipped a tab of Ecstasy. At supper he went on about his Debs party plans with Brooke on Saturday until I wanted to slap him. "Alex, weren't you planning something for Saturday?" Mom asked when Tyler paused to take a breath. "Yeah, a sleepover at Shelly's house but it's Friiiiddddayyyy not Saaaatuuuuddrday. I told you that yesterday Muh-THER. "Well, the important thing is you and Shelly are friends again," Mom said, ignoring my snideness. "Whatever," I mumbled. "There are sleeping bags in the storage shed, Princess," said Dad. "There's also air mattresses to go with them." Tyler cocked an eye at me. "Yeah, Princess," he said his mouth forming a smirk. "We wouldn't want our princess sleeping on a bare floor." I shoved away from the table, biting back the urge to fire a comeback at Tyler like he wanted, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Not tonight. "You'll probably need to air them out," Dad continued. "They've been packed away for awhile." "Thanks Daddy," I said smiling prettily at Tyler. "I'll do that now." Mom eyed me with disapproval. "You can't be finished, Alex," She said. "You've hardly touched your dinner." "I'm not hungry," I said. I needed to get into the fresh air, away from my brother. "The sleeping bags can wait until tomorrow," Mom scolded. "It's dark out and there's no light in the storage shed." "I'll use the flashlight from the laundry room," I said skipping past my mother, through the kitchen door. The weather had eased a bit from the frigid temps of the past few days but it was still cold enough to get me moving across the yard. When I reached the shed I noticed the opened padlock on the aluminum hasp Dad installed when we moved in. I jammed the key into my pocket (not needed) and slipped off the lock. Cracking open the door I thrust the beam of the flashlight ahead of me in a wide cautious arc; ready to sprint back to the house at the first sign of an intruder. I needn't have worried. The only occupants were the same boxes and bags as always. Discovering nothing sinister waiting for me I eased inside. I shined the light around searching for the sleeping bags Dad and Tyler used during their short-lived outdoor stint. When I couldn't find them I paused. If they weren't on the floor where were they? Then I remembered the shelf in the very back. I aimed the light where the back wall joined the ceiling and there they were, perched like two fat hens on the edge of the shelf. They were also out of reach. John could have easily plucked them down but I was Alex. I would need something to stand on. I sucked in a breath fighting the surge of hot tears that stung my eyes. Being a girl was so fucked up. I swiped my eyes with a sleeve. My emotions under control, I scoped out the shed's contents for something that would support my weight. There were only cardboard boxes and bags. I'd have to ask Tyler to get the bags down for me, not something I wanted to do. "Dammit!!" I yelled kicking the bag closest to me. "Fuck!" I cried as my foot slammed against something unforgivably hard, enough to bruise my toes. Overcome with pain, I dropped to the floor to massaged my throbbing toes. What in the hell had I kicked? I probed at the bag with my finger. I could feel the soft give of cloth. Probably clothes Tyler and I had outgrown but Mom couldn't bring herself to throw away. But there was something else there. When I pushed with my hand I felt something solid. I flashed my light in into the bag's open mouth (this one hadn't been twist tied shut for what ever reason) and was rewarded with the momentary glint of metal. Putting the flash light aside I reached in lifting out a steel box about fifteen inches wide, fitted with a hasp like the shed. A small combination lock hung from the staple. Where it had come from? I doubted anyone packed it in the bag with hand-me-down clothes. A glance up and I saw the bag was directly under the lip of the shelf where the sleeping bags were stored. As crazy as the odds had to have been, it was obvious what happened. The box had been on the shelf. When Dad hoisted up the sleeping bags, he must have nudged the box enough to knock it off, so it fell into the open bag. He wasn't aware what happened because the clothes muffled the sound of the impact. Wanting to know more about my find, I shined the light across the top of the box and made another discovery. Riveted in its center was a metal name plate that read: PROPERTY OF W. EDWARDS. Uncle Walter? It had to be. If this box belonged to Walter I need to find a way inside. I didn't think that would be a problem. Back in middle school, every morning for a week, I found strange things in my locker. One day it was a fake shrunken head, made of rubber. Another morning it was a Barbie doll ( I was teased about that all day). For the life of me I couldn't figure out who was doing it or how. My locker was locked and I was the only one with the combination. Eventually two of my friends confessed they ware the perpetrators. When I asked them how they'd gotten in they showed me a trick. If you pulled down on a combination lock with one hand while slowly turning the dial with the other, you could feel the stops. With a little practice you could open most combination locks with out knowing the sequence of numbers. The technique worked really well if the lock was old and worn. I smiled. The one I was looking at was ancient. I popped the lock on the third attempt and for a moment, all I could do was stare at the gap between the shackle and the lock's casing, Did I really want to do this, to look inside? I remembered the wild look on my uncle's face when he grabbed me at school. Did I want to resurrect that or something worse. The box might be holding anything from naked photo's of me when I was little (something I wasn't sure I was prepared to see) to something even, more sinister (though I couldn't think of anything except maybe a severed head). "Just put it back," said cautious Alex. "If you open it, you're going to start that Walter shit all over again. Remember the dream. Do you want more of that?" I ran my hand over the box's smooth metal surface, the tip of my finger tracing along the edge of the name plate. If I walked away from this because I was afraid of what was inside, my Uncle would win. "No fucking way," I said in a low voice. I slipped the lock's shackle off the hasp, It dropped to the floor with a thud. Then I flipped up the hinge and lifted the lid. Whatever I'd expected, it wasn't there. The box was filled with copy paper. The material was too technical to follow but it appeared Walter had begun writing a book on gene sequencing (what ever that was) but never finished. The neatly type sheets ended abruptly in the middle of a chapter titled "Shotgunning." The remaining sheets of paper consisted of handwritten notes containing observations of various experiments Mathematical notations and chemical diagrams were scribbled in the margins. It was like a diary of Walter's thoughts, jotted down as they occurred. I shuffled through the morass of paper, none of it decipherable without an advanced degree in biology. when at the very bottom of the stack I found something interesting : a sealed manila envelop with the words EYES ONLY stamped on the front in red. I lifted it out balancing it in my hand. Whatever it was, it looked official. "ALEX... ALEX TETRAS.... WHERE ARE YOU?" I froze at the sound of Mom's voice. "ALEX, ANSWER ME!" "I'm in here Mom," I yelled jamming the manila envelope into the waist band of my jeans. "In the shed." I scooped up the stack of papers and shoved them into the box. Mom opened the shed door just as I dropped it back into the bag. "You've been out here for a long time Alex," she said. "What are you doing?" "I was trying to get the sleeping bags down," I said, careful to keep my back to her. buttoning my denim jacket to hide the envelope. "I couldn't reach them. See." I beamed the light up to where the sleeping bags sat on the shelf. "I'll have Tyler get them down for you tomorrow, not tonight. It's time to come inside." "Yes ma'am," I said in my most dutiful voice. I followed her into the house, through the kitchen, into the dining room. Dad still sat at the table nursing an after dinner cup of coffee. A second cup rested in a saucer where Mom sat, untouched. "You don't have the sleeping bags," Dad said in a questioning voice. "They were on the shelf in the back of the shed," I said. "I couldn't reach them." "I told her Tyler would get them for her tomorrow," Mom said taking her place at the table. "I'll get them for you," said Dad pushing his chair back. "No, Steve. No lifting until the doctor says you can," Mom scowled at me as if to say 'this is all your fault.' "It's okay Daddy," I said. "Tyler can get them for me tomorrow. I'm going upstairs to finish my homework." I hurried through the living room and up the stairs. When I reached my room I closed the door, waiting a full minute to make sure Mom hadn't followed me. Smuggling the the envelop marked confidential from the shed into my room left me with a major case of nerves. When my heart's pounding slowed to a thump I unbutton my jacket. I carefully slid the manila envelope out of the waist band of my jeans and laid it on my desk. EYES ONLY in bright red ink stared back, daring me to peek inside. I traced a cautious hand across the envelope's bulge. Whatever was inside was extensive. I flipped the package over and checked the flap. Ir wasn't sealed only the prongs on the brass clasp held it shut. All I had to do was bend them up and I could slip out whatever was inside. I reached out, my fingers trembling with anticipation when my phone rang. The sound caught me by surprise. I snatched my hand away from the clasp as if I'd been caught. "It"s just the phone, Alex," I told myself but made no move to answer it. A second blast got me moving. I glanced at EYES ONLY , Reaching down I opened the bottom drawer of my desk and shoved the envelope to the very back.This way if someone opened the drawer they wouldn't see it. Then I closed the drawer. (I wouldn't remember the envelope for several days.) and answered the phone. "Hello?" "Alex?" "Yeah?" "Hey, it's me, Austin." "Oh,,,uh...hi." I tried to sound upbeat. "Is everything okay? You don't sound very happy." "No...no...it's just I wasn't expecting to hear from you this soon." "Huh?" "Look that didn't come out right, Can we start over." "I guess," "What I meant was." I took a breath trying to focus on what I wanted to say. What did I want to say? I wasn't sure. This whole thing was crazy. I could hear Austin's impatient breathing in my ear. "Are you even there?" he asked annoyed. "Yeah." Why was this conversation so hard? "I...I'm glad you called." "Really!" The eagerness in his voice set off warning bells. Was he thinking what I thought he was thinking. I decided to throw up a road block just in case. "Uh...Yeah, I really am," I said. "I was afraid I'd lost you as a friend." "Friend..." The word flopped out of his mouth in a lump. "I was hoping--" "I mean we can do stuff," I added cutting off where I knew he was headed. "It's just we don't know each other very well and--" "Then we need to fix that," Austin shot back before I could finish. "Do something with me tomorrow. I'll meet you in the student parking lot after school. We can have a coke and fries or something.... I mean if you're serious."" "Tomorrow? I--" "Yeah, I know. Tomorrow you have plans. You always have plans, Alex. You say you want to do stuff but when it comes time you always find an excuse not to." "I was going to say... before you cut me off... I'll have to talk to my mom to see if she can pick me up when we're done," I said trying to prove him wrong and still avoid committing to anything. "I'll take you home," Austin said. "I'll bring an extra helmet. You're not afraid of motorcycles are you? " "Nooooo." "Then it's a date. Gotta go. Dad needs me. See you tomorrow. Bye." "Bye," I echoed. I got up from my desk and walked over to my bed. Dropping onto the mattress I propped my elbows on my knees and cupped my head in my hands. What in the hell had I gotten into. -If My Nose Were Full of Nickles I'd Blow It All On You- The next morning I was panicked. I decided to tell Mom in the hopes she'd say no. I found her in the kitchen dressed in the worn bathrobe that should have been retired years ago waiting out the coffee maker to finish brewing. "Mom is it okay if I'm late today? I was going to stop off at Big Burger and hang out for a little while with a... uh...friend." The coffee maker made a sound between a flush and a sigh. Steam hissed out around the lid to the water resistive. Mom frowned at the machine before pouring a cup of dark black liquid her mug. "We've really got to get a new coffee maker," she said studying the contents of her cup. She set the cup on the counter and began dumping a liberal amount of creamer into her coffee. "What did you say Honey?" "I asked if it was okay to stop off for a coke after school. (Please say no....please say no...) Or should I come straight home ..you know...to take care of DaaaaD." Mom spooned sugar into her coffee, added creamer and then taste tested it. "How will you get home?" she asked. "My friend said they'd bring me home but if Dad needs me I don't have to stop off. I can catch the bus like I always do." "Don't be silly, Honey. Of course you can meet your friend after school. Your father is well enough to take care of himself. Who is the friend?" "Uh...she's new," I said. "I think her name is Sally. I thought I'd make her feel welcome. She doesn't have any friends." The last thing I wanted was for my parents to find out I was meeting Austin. They would have been cool with it. My mother would have probably clapped her hands with joy that I was "adjusting to my new life." I was the one that had the problem. Though I'd tossed Tyler's clothes in the trash and mentally told Walter to fuck off I hadn't been able to behave like the girls in my class toward boys. They acted so helpless, taking a back seat to the guy so he could be in charge. There was no way I was doing that. "I'm proud of you,Alex," Mom continued. "That's a very nice thing to do for someone." "It's no big deal," I said feeling myself sink deeper into the muck. "I think it is," said Mom. "And I think your father will too. He sees the doctor on Thursday. They think he may be well enough to go back to work next week. I'll tell him you're going to be late today. So he doesn't worry." "That's great," I said. It was great Dad was getting better but not so great I was stuck seeing Austin after school. Time for a plan "B". I needed a way out. Of course I could lie I'd lied to my mother so why not Austin? He wouldn't know the difference. (Okay he might suspect...scratch that ... probably would suspect...scratch that too ... he'd know. He predicted that's what I'd do when he called. ). The last thing I wanted was to give him the satisfaction of proving me wrong. What I couldn't believe was that I was doing this again. promising Austin something and then backing out. My grandmother would have said I was trying to have my cake and eat it too. Maybe I was. Or maybe I was just plain nuts. I wanted Austin around but I didn't. He made me feel special but at the same time he made me feel extremely uncomfortable. What made things worse , as John I'd never had a girlfriend. I'd never even kissed a girl other than my mother and grandmother. I had nothing to compare what I was experiencing now to try and grasp what was happening. Like everything else I 'd have to muddle through. I decided not to say anything to Shelly about my plans after school with Austin. This was difficult because I really wanted to confide in her. What I was about to do was a big step in my new life as Alex Tetras and I was scared shitless. What would I say to him? How should I act? Those were questions that shouldn't have needed answers, because this situation never should have happened. We were supposed only see each other at school where we would exchange a few sentences, have a laugh, and then go out separate ways until we chance upon each other again. The occasional phone call would be acceptable but limited to reflections of the day's events not like the one I just had where I was broadsided as if I were hit by a truck speeding through an intersection. I brooded about the problem all the way to school. When Sarge jerked to a stop at the bus ramp everything was still jumbled up in my head. I fell to the back of the line shuffling off the bus. Austin was waiting for me when I stepped onto the concrete. I could tell by the way he shifted from foot to foot something was wrong. "I can't meet you today," he blurted before my foot even touch the ground. "Dad's signing me out early/ We're going out of town." "You are??!!" I said retraining myself from breaking into my happy dance. "Yeah," he said, his expression turning sour. "So I guess you're off the hook." "What the hell is that supposed to mean." I could feel heat rising in my cheeks. "Come on, Alex," said Austin. "You know you didn't really want to hang out with me after school. You only agreed because I dared you." Everything he was saying was true but the way he said it pissed me off. "If that's what you think then I guess it's good you're leaving. Have a nice fucking trip, asshole/" I pushed past him before he could see the tears starting to spill down my cheeks. I'd only taken a couple of steps when Austin called after me. "Alex wait." He grabbed my arm dragging me backwards. "What," I said tears streamed down my face. I wiped at them with my hand but I couldn't make them stop. "God, you're crying," Austin said. He gripped my shoulders with his hands but I shook loose. "Just fuck off, okay," I said my voice bubbly from tears. This time he hooked a hand around my upper arm. I tried to pull away but he held me too tight. "Let go of me," I cried. I was vaguely aware of a crowd forming around us. "Not until you promise not to leave.... at least until I finish what I need to say." I swiped at my face with my jacket sleeve and managed to wipe up some of the tears. "Hurry up and say it," I said. "Then I'm out of here." "Look I'm sorry," Austin said. "I don't know why I said what I did. It's just after I heard some stuff and I guess...guess I believed it. I should have talked to you first." "What are you talking about?" I asked. Suddenly the conversation had become interesting. "Who said some stuff? What stuff? Austin shuffled his feet. I tried to read his face but he looked away. "What stuff?" I repeated shoving his shoulder with my hand. "Tell me." "I can't," he said. "I promised I wouldn't." "You know what," I said, "I went out of my way not to lose you as a friend. I really cared about you Austin. But you're a fucking asshole. Don't call me again. I'm blocking your number." I pulled my phone out of my jeans and punched angrily at the screen but my tears blurred my vision so I couldn't see what I was doing. "Dammit!" I cried, jamming the phone back in my pocket. I stumbled toward the school entrance wanting to put as much distance between Austin and myself as I could. He didn't follow. Today was Shelly's day to work in the office as a student assistant. I wouldn't see her until second period at P.E and I was glad. I didn't want her to see I'd been crying. "Wow, you look pleasant," she said when second period came around. She plopped down beside me on the bleachers. "Who rubbed you the wrong way?" "I don't want to talk about it," I said crossing my arms looking away, focusing on the door to the boys dressing room. Where in the hell were they? I needed a distraction. "It might help to talk about it," Shelly said scooting so close out hips touched. "It's kind of private," I countered sliding away, creating space between us again. "Even for your best friend. Thanks, Alex," Shelly said. I could hear the hurt in her voice. "Give me a little time and then maybe we'll talk then." Shelly slid her arm around my shoulder in a one-arm hug. "Sure," she said. The boys burst out of the dressing room and onto to gym floor passing the basketball around hooting like drunken hillbillies.. It was obvious they were trying to impress us. I flashed Shelly a knowing smile as we leaned back to watch the show. One thing was obvious. Austin and I were never going to have any kind of relationship not even as friends. It was stupid for us to keep trying. Some of the problem was me but part of it was the over the top way he handled things like today. Having faced up to the truth I felt better. I was happy to see Shelly waiting for me at the lunchroom doors. We slipped in line, me and my sister. The aroma of tomato and meat sauce mixed with grease was heavy in the air.The din of a hundred conversations all going at once filled my ears. I opened myself to the familiar sounds and smells. There was something comforting about it all. This was a part of my world and I was fine with it. I remembered Mrs. Gartman's kitchen, warm and cozy, filled with its own sounds and smells. That was where we had the conversation on serendipity. She believed Shelly and I were destined to become friends. But if I followed that logic to its conclusion, then there were no accidents or coincidences. Things would have to be predestined, which meant I was supposed to become Alex. The conjecture planted a creepy feeling in my stomach. I was glad when Shelly broke the silence taking my mind off the what ifs. "Who do you think we'll be ten years from now?" "What??!!!" The question threw me. "You know, will you be selling real estate or something, maybe with a family." "I don't see kids in my future," I said quickly, "or a baby daddy. That is definitely not in my future." "So you're planning on growing old, alone." I shrugged. "Yeah. I guess I am." Shelly pressed her lips together causing her nose to scrunch up like she'd smelled something foul. "I don't believe you," she said at last. "Why?" I snorted. "Because I said I don't want kids." "Yea-uh." She cocked her head and her face took on a condescending air. "We're female. It's in out genes to want children. It's part of what we are." "Not me-ee," I half sang the word. "Are you ladies going to get lunch or talk all afternoon," said a cafeteria worker. I glanced over to see it was the short fat one with the orange hair. "You're holding up the line. Other people are wanting to eat." "Sorry," I said snatching a paper saucer that held a burrito minutes away from wilting (today was Mexican). I added a bowl of Spanish rice to my tray and then grabbed a milk. After Shelly made her selection (Taco salad and a fruit cup) we paid for out lunch and carried them to our table. The Debs were in their spot talking quietly. Occasionally one of them would glace our way and then laugh. I twisted around when I thought I heard my name and glared at them. Brooke spotted me, smiled and waved. "Alex, you need to lighten up about them," Shelly said when I returned my attention to my friends. "You're letting Brooke get to you and that's exactly what she wants." "I think we should sit somewhere else tomorrow." "No way," Brett cried, shooting down my suggestion. "This is our table. I'm not moving for anybody." "Besides," said Abby, "if we sit somewhere else then the Debs will tell everyone they chased us off." "Fine," I said, pissed no one had my back. "But if shit gets started it's on all of you." "Nothing is going to happen Alex, unless you let it," Shelly said. "Honestly, you never worried about them before. I don't know why you're doing it now." "Yeah Alex," said Brett. If it bothers you so much why did you quit them?" I mentally counted to ten then repeated the count until I trusted myself not to blow. The last thing I wanted was to fight with Shelly and Brett over something as stupid as the Debs. When I was done my anger had subsided but I still felt tense. I heard more laughter behind me. This time it was louder. I pushed my chair back and stood. "I need to pee." "T-M-I, Alex," Brett chided. Shelly began to push her own chair back. "I'll go with you," she said. I shook my head. Her mouth drooped but she didn't follow. The girls restroom was my refuge when I needed to be alone although someone else seemed to always be there doing hair, applying makeup or just gossiping with other girls. I was surprised to find it empty. I slipped into a stall and latched the door. Sitting on the edge of the toilet, I tried to sort out my feelings but the silence around me was profound making it impossible for me to concentrate. After several minutes I gave up. I unlatched the stall door and almost walked into Jillian Prescott blocking my path. Lily Chan stood at her side. "Look Lily," Jillian said staring down at me over her giant boobs. "It's Alex Tetras." "What do you want," I said trying to keep my voice calm. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. This couldn't be good. "Chill out, little one," Jillian said smiling. "I'm here as a humanitarian." She glanced around before speaking again. "I don't like you Tetras but you're just a kid and I dislike picking on kids even less. I'm here to warn you to watch your back. The word is someone has it in for you." "Who?" "That's all I'm going to say," Jillian said. She turned to Lily. "Let's go." "Wait," I called after them. Jillian paused, the doorway framing her like a strange full body portrait. "Good luck," she said. Then she followed Lily into the hall letting the restroom door swing shut after her. The bell rang just as I reached the lunch room. Shelly, Abby and Brett were standing by our table holding their empty trays. "You were gone a long time, Alex," said Brett when I reached the table to pick up my own tray. She glanced at my half eaten taco and the untouched Spanish rice. "You didn't even finish your lunch." "I'm not feeling well," I said puzzling over the bizarre encounter I just had. "Are you starting your period?" Abby asked. "I always feel sick before I start mine." "You're not going to be sick for the sleepover are you?" Shelly asked worriedly. "I think it's a passing something or other," I said. "I'll be okay." "I hope so," said Shelly. "I want you there." She reached over and hugged me. I watched as my friends splintered in different directions melting into the flow of bodies moving to class. After a moment I joined the post - lunch migration thinking what a strange day this had been, -Night Swimming- Sitting in Biology class I wondered why there was so much drama in my life. Barely a day went by with out some emotional something dropped at my feet. As a girl I had to deal with crazy hormonal mood swings and fluctuating estrogen levels. I was more sensitive to things than guys and my feelings could be easily hurt. Things that would have seemed petty to John were big deals to Alex. I was constantly forcing myself to take a step back before moving forward because of it. As a female it was easy to pull my strings. Tyler had done it and so had Austin. Boys were crass. I expected it from them them. What I didn't understand was why girls did it so much to each other. I was beginning to believe it was the national female pastime. It was a game I didn't want to play. Brooke Simmons was a good example of how petty girls could be. I wondered if that was who Jillian warned me of If it wasn't Brooke, who could it be? Or , I thought, this could have been something the Debs cooked up to scare me. Remembering how they acted at lunch, that made the most sense. I didn't think it coincidence that Jillian just happened to run into me in the restroom a few minutes later. This had to be another of their lame pranks, probably Brooke's idea. The Debs never did anything that involved breaking the sanctimonious student code of conduct. They wanted their reputations squeaky clean. I decided not to worry about Jillian or Brooke Simmons. I just wished to hell they would all grow up. I wondered if I should call my dad and tell him I'd be home at my regular time since Austin and I weren't going to meet up after school. I decided I should. That would ensure I wouldn't be bombed with questions about why I was home early. Austin's words still stung. The last thing I wanted to talk about was why I didn't keep my date with my "friend". Today had been one of those roller coaster days with more dips than rises. A lot had happened. I felt drained counting down the final minutes of school. When the bell sounded I took my time doning my book bag, giving the other students a chance to exit the classroom first. Usually I'd hook up with Shelly and we could walk to the bus ramp together but this afternoon I wasn't feeling it. I fell back letting the crowd swirl around and in front of me, By the time I reached the outside doors I was alone. The weather outside was mild for November with only the slightest hint of a chill Shadows cast from the stand of trees bordering the edge of the campus stretched across my path like skeletal fingers. I glanced ahead where the majority of students pooled together chatting, waiting for their rides or for Sarge to arrive with the bus. Whether it was my mood or the play of shadows in the soft light of afternoon, I sensed something surreal here. My eyes traced the shadows across the pavement to where they originated, in the trees. The afternoon had muted the reds and yellow color of their leaves. Although they blazed earlier in the noon sun, now they only smoldered . I remembered meeting Cal beneath them a few weeks back, his eyes wary as he confessed his fear of being seen with me. He told me he was ending our friendship. I'd seen him in the halls twice since. Both times he walked past me as if we were strangers. "Fine," I said as if we were still huddled in the foliage having it out. "Who needs you anyway." He'd been John's friend after all, not Alex's. But the memory brought a tear to my eye. It hurt to have him tell me to go away. I took a breath. Why in the hell was I digging up these particular memories? It was like I was dredging for every shitty thing that had ever happened to me. I didn't know why I was doing it but I knew it was time to stop. I'd quit beating myself up when I'd thrown away my bag of security in the form of Tyler's clothes, promising myself no more looking back. I pulled out my cell phone. I wanted to call Dad and tell him I wasn't meeting my "friend". Even though the afternoon light had lost it's harshness it was still difficult to see the display on the screen. Holding my phone in front of me I looked around for a spot with less glare when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a movement. Then my phone was snatched out of my hand. "Hey," I yelled at the boy in the blue hoodie racing away. "That's my fucking phone." He stopped and faced me, grinning. I didn't know his name but I'd seen him around. He hung out with the same group as Arnold Haas. The group I considered wannabe thugs. I say wannabe because I'd seen real thugs in Sacramento and Arnold and the gang didn't even come close. They sagged their pants and strutted around shoving each other and talking trash (mostly at each other ) but that was about it. I'd even flipped Arnold off in Ms. Boyd's English class after he made some sexual comments about me on the bus. Giving him the finger was my payback He'd turned red-faced but at the end of class he walked past without even a snarl my way. So what was this kid up too? He had more balls than Arnold, "Give me my phone, Ass-Face," I said. I took a step toward him. His grin spread even wider. "Take it from me," he said. The kid was seriously skinny. He stood maybe three inches taller than me which was far from tall. The fact that he wasn't that much bigger and I was mad as hell made me think I could not only take him but heat the crap out of him. This was something I wanted to do with a passion. I charged at him and he danced backwards past the edge of the building. When he reached the walkway leading to the gym, he paused. "Catch me if you can," he laughed then sprinted down the walkway until the building blocked him from my sight. I rushed to where he'd stood moments before in time to see him disappear behind the gym. I ran on, my pulse pounding in my ears. I was so angry I wanted to cry. I reached the back corner the kid was nowherearound. Leaning with my back against the building I caught my breath while I tried to decide what to do next. To my left was a stand of trees and behind them a chain link fence that marked the school's property line. I doubted he'd gone that way. It was a dead end. Straight ahead was the football field, deserted now that the varsity team had played their last game of the season. I scanned the bleachers but they were empty. "I'm over here, Dumbass." I turned in the direction of the voice. There he was. The scrawny fucker that took my phone was standing about 30 feet away. "Give me my phone!" I screamed. "Nope." He giggled. I charged at him, half blinded by angry tears. He waited until I was almost on him then he shot off again cutting a zigzag path across the field laughing as he ran. I'm going to miss my bus, I thought huffing after him. I wasn't use to so much running. I found myself slowing gasping for breath. I'd gone as far as I could. All I could do to was lean forward hands on my thighs as I sucked much needed oxygen into my burning lungs. I raised my head to see where I was. The chase had taken us from the front of the school around the back and down the other side ending maybe fifty feet from the sidewalk leading to the forecourt. The faculty parking was barren of its crop of cars. Everyone had gone including Sarge and the bus. The punk followed the direction of my gaze. He looked at me with mock sympathy. "Awwww, did you miss your bus," he said flashing that assface grin again. "Looks like everyone vamoosed so I guess you did." He held my phone in his hand his eyes roving over it as if he were trying recall how he'd come by it. This was too damn strange. "I guess you want this," he said extending his arm toward me balancing the phone in his palm. I watched him, wary of his odd behavior. "Come on, Take it!" he demanded. "I'm giving it back." "Put it on the ground and walk away. I'll get it when you leave," I said. "Chicken," he said tossing it to the side. I waited until he disappeared around the building to retrieve my phone. It lay screen side down in t a muddy patch of ground still damp from the recent shower brought on by the warmer weather. I picked it up and began brushing it off when some one snatched me off my feet. I screamed, kicking wildly in the air. My captor tighten their grip. "Yell again Tetras and see how fast you get a bloody lip," said the voice of Arnold Haas in my ear. He lowered me to the ground but kept my arms penned behind me. "Let me go," I hissed. "Not till I get what I want." I could hear effort in his voice. He was having problems holding me. I twisted hard almost breaking free before being rewarded with a knee to the back. It hurt like hell. "Try that again and I won't be so gentle next time. He said pushing me forward toward the now deserted school where shadows were beginning to pool under the eves. We reached the building and I was shoved against it so hard I was forced to turn my head to keep my face from being pressed into its surface. I twisted again and Arnold threw his weight against me. The sharp edges of the brick cut into my breasts and cheek. "I would so love to kick your ass," he said, "but Chrissy doesn't want you roughed up." He leaned against me pressing his body against mine until I could barely breathe. "But I swear to God if you fight me I'm gonna bust up you up. Arden did you bring scissors like I told you?" "Better," The scrawny punk appeared in my limited vision. He shoved a hand in the pocket of his blue hoodie and pulled out something long and thin. "I brought my daddy's straight razor," He flipped it open and waved it in my face. "Quit playing with that thing," Arnold said dragging me back, away from the blade. "You're gonna cut her or worse you're gonna cut me!" "Why does he have a razor?" I managed to say. My heart was beating fast enough to burst. Arnold laughed. "We're gonna give you a haircut, Tetras. Call it payback for what you did to Chrissy/" "You guys are in so much trouble," I said trying to buy time hoping to to figure a way out of this. "You're going to a least be suspended. You might even go to juvie." "Your word against ours Toots," Arnold said. "Chrissy will say we spent this afternoon at her house working on homework." "You're taking a big chance trusting her," I said. "What makes you think she'll actually keep her word." Arnold didn't answer right away. He was breathing heavily and gave off this icky odor. His hands, were damp and wet. Then it hit me. What I smelled was fear. Arnold was as scared as I was. "Come on, man," said Arden dancing like he needed to pee but was forced to hold it. "Let's do this." "Wait a minute," said Arnold. "I need to think." "What's to think about? We're going to cut her hair like Chrissy wanted."Arden's face hardened, The ever-present grin thinned into something vicious. "You're not going to go chicken shit and back out on me are you Arnie. Chrissy's paying fifty bucks for this." "Me chicken!" Arnold gave a half-hearted chuckle. "Remember who you're talking to, asswipe. I just think... maybe we should...uh... go easy on her.... you know. She's a fucking girl for God's sake." The drone of a motorcycle pierced the lazy sounds of afternoon. I knew that sound. It was Austin's bike. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be out of town with his dad? "Do you hear that?" I asked my captors. "That's my boyfriend. He's looking for me right now. When he finds me he's going to kick your ass. Let me go and I won't say anything about what you did." "Bullshit," said Arden. "That's just some bike going down the road. Besides Chrissy said you're a lez." The sound dropped to a low rumble then rose again. He was coming this way! "Shit she may be telling the truth, Arden," Arnold said, his voice cautious. "That bike is getting closer." As Arnold and Arden twisted their heads toward the sound. Arnold's grip on me relaxed. This was my chance. I I raised my leg and stomped as hard as I could on the arch of his foot. He screamed and turned me loose. I followed up by kicking him in the nuts. Arnold's eyes bulged as he crumpled to the ground his hands cupping his damaged jewels. Arden seemed oblivious to my tussle with his homeboy. He watched Austin's approach with the fascination a deer watches the lights of an approaching truck. I raced past him into the drive that ran alongside the school, screaming Austin's name waving at him with my arms. Austin was still a distance away when he spotted me he gunned the engine. The front wheel lifted in a surprise wheelie throwing the bike off balance. I held my breath expecting him to topple off , completely forgetting about Arden. Then I felt his arm circle around my neck. The cold steel of the razor pressed gently against my cheek. "Put your arms down , bitch," he said. "Make a move and I'll cut you like a fucking pig," Austin managed to right the bike. He steered slowly toward us , stopping about four feet from where we stood. He slipped off the bike lowering the kick stand in a single practiced move. Even though his eyes were hidden behind his helmet's visor I knew they were locked on the razor in Arden's hand. "What the hell's going on?" he asked keeping his voice level. "Hey, boyfriend," said Arden. "Glad you could join the party." He stroked the razor across my cheek keeping the edge turned just enough not to cut me. I was more scared than I could ever remember being in my entire life. I fought not to cry but tears were beginning to spill down my cheeks. "Turn her loose," said Austin slipping off the helmet letting it drop to the ground. "No way man," Arden laughed. "I'm having way too much fun." "You're stoned," said Austin. "I can tell from you eyes." "What are you a fucking doctor or something?" Arden asked, suspicion in his voice. "Something like that," said Austin. "Bullllshhhhit," Arden countered. His voice sounded slurred. I though Austin might be right. Arden was drugged. "You're just a skinny geek." Austin thought for a moment. It amazed me how cool he was. His face brightened. "How bout a trade," he said. "What kind of trade?" Arden asked suddenly on guard. His hand tensed. The razor pressed harder against my cheek. "My bike for Alex," said Austin. "Here's the key," He stretched out his arm toward Arden. The key dangled temptingly from his fingers. "What's the catch?" I could feel Arden twitch nervously causing the razor to hoover dangerously close to my right eye. "No catch," said Austin. "Look I'll put the ken in the ignition and back away. All you have to do is turn loose of Alex then get on the bike and ride away," Austin slipped the key into the bike then took several steps back and raised his hands. "See, it's yours. Take it." Arden shifted the arm from my neck to my shoulder and then guided me to the bike. The razor stayed in place against my cheek. "Sweet," he said studying the bike's lines. He looked at Austin. "Back up more and keep your hands in the air. I don't want you rushing me when I get on this thing." "Promise you'll let her go," said Austin. "Back up, man," Arden growled. "Now." He waved the razor in front of my face. "Chill man! I'm backing up," Austin said, moving back several more steps. "Good," said Arden, "here's your fucking bitch." He shoved me forward. I ran to Austin and threw my arms around him sobbing uncontrollably. I heard the bike fire up and then roar away. Austin held me until I stopped shaking. I felt his arm slip from around me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me away. I looked up to find his blue-gray eyes studying me his lips pressed into a tight line. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Did he hurt you?" I shook my head. "I'm soh-sorry," I said, my tears flowing again. He pulled me close and held me, stroking my hair with his hand, my cheek resting against his chest. I drank in the scent of him, fresh soap and maleness. I wanted to hold on to him forever. He steered me out of the drive to the curb and helped me to sit. Then he settled down beside me. "What in the hell was that all about?" Austin asked. I gave him a brief account of my falling out with Chrissy. "She wanted to get even." Austin made a sort of whistling sound. "Wow," he exclaimed. "Girls fight dirty." I nodded. "He took your bike," I said, "Because of me." "It's a piece of junk. The transmission jams. the gaskets leak. I'm getting a new one in a few days. Besides he won't get far," he said smiling. "There's only a couple of miles left in the tank. I was on my way to gas up when I decided to drive by the school." I didn't know if he was lying about the gas but he was lying about everything else. The bike was new. That Austin was willing to trade it. something he loved, for me--someone that continually let him down, made me feel like a complete douche-bag. "Why?" I asked. "Because I wanted to see if you were still here. I felt bad about this morning and when my dad's meeting was canceled-- " "Not that why. Why?" Austin looked at me his mouth forming that silly grin he'd flashed the day we'd met. "Why what?" "Why did you do what you did," I said. "You love that bike. So why did you give it to that creep?" The smile faded. "What kind of fucking person do you think I am, Alex, that you would ask a question like that? Okay I lied about the bike being crappy but the guy had a razor. Did you think I'd just ride off and leave you to get raped or killed. It's nice to know you have such a high opinion of me!" His eyes misted over and he swiped at them with a hand. "I'm sorry..." I said stumbling to soften the hurt my words caused him. "I...I didn't mean it like that. It's just...you standing up for me...after I ...I...was such a bit--" Austin held up a hand. "I know where you're going, It's cool?" The lopsided grin was back and I decided it looked good on him. "I vote we go across the street to Big Burger, have a coke, maybe share an order of fries. I'll call my dad to pick us up." "No!" I cried. The last thing I wanted was for my parents to know I was attacked by Arnold and his gangsta friend. "You're dad can't know you were with me. If my parents find out about what happened today they'll never let me go anywhere again without a bodyguard." "Actually, that might not be a bad idea," said Austin, grinning broader. "Asshole," I said girl-punching him in the shoulder. We both grinned. "You've got to get home," Austin said. "And it's not safe for you to walk with that doper guy loose. You could run into him again. I'm gonna have to call my dad anyway to tell him my bike's gone. We can drop you off on out way to our house." "I could call my dad," I lied thinking I could pretend to make the call and then walk home. "If that's what you want," said Austin. "We can wait at Big Burger until he gets here." "You don't have to do that," I said. "I'll be fine." Austin leveled his gaze so he looked directly in my eyes. "I'm not leaving your side until I know you're safe," he said. "Fine," I sighed. "Call your dad. But promise you won't tell him about the attack." Austin held up two fingers. "I promise. Scouts honor." "So what are you going to tell him?" I asked. "I'll tell him I parked my bike to go into the school and when I got back it was gone," Austin said. I heard a groan and looked to see Arnold Haas drag himself to his feet. I'd forgotten all about him. He glanced at us and then hobbled off. "What happened to him?" Austin asked. I smiled. "I kicked him in the nuts," I said proudly. Austin made a face. "Ouch." I Dance in My Head - We sat across from each other, two islands separated by a table-size Formica sea where plastic squeeze bottles of ketchup and mustard floated on its polished surface. I nibbled on a fry grown so cold it curved in a limp arch while I checked out the other tables. Big Burger was the unofficial hangout for upperclassmen and freshmen were not welcome. No one said anything but if looks could kill Austin and I would have been slain several times over. We sat in the front against the large window facing the road so we could spot Austin's dad when he pulled up. I found myself staring out at the traffic hoping the next car would be our ride. Something touched my elbow and I jumped. I realized I'd zoned out/ "Sorry," said Austin looking surprised. "I was saying, I'd given up on us being together by ourselves." I glanced around at the other tables then at Austin. "We're not exactly alone. The place is packed." "I meant without your friends," he said. "Shelly and the others are cool and everything it's just...just..." He paused. "I thought... after the dance maybe...maybe... you'd give me a chance but it was like nothing changed...Then, when you said to call you, I got all excited..." He dropped his gaze so he was staring at his hands, fingers splayed on the table. "I thought, she's changed her mind she does like me, But then you said the "F" word--that we could be friends. I...I.. realized it was never going to happen, us being together. I.. I...know you were trying to be nice, and I appreciate that..but I...can't ...can't be friends, Alex. That's not the way I feel about you/" "Austin I--" He held up a hand cutting me off. "It's okay. I'm not going to bother you anymore after today. Just please... I'll never get another chance to be alone with you again so I was hoping... damn!" I followed his glance out the window. A large sedan was parked outside. "Dad's here," Austin said. "We didn't even get a chance to talk." He looked so sad I felt my heart tear. "I guess I need to get you home," he said rising out of his seat. He started toward me but I slipped out of my chair before he could do anything gallant like hold the back of it for me. The move threw him off. He stood there with a dopey look on his face and I realized that we weren't interlopers anymore. We'd become the entertainment of the day. Faces openly gawked mouths bowed in humongous grins. What I did next was total impulse propelled by the assholes around us. I took Austin's hand. The moment we touched something shot through me like a surge of electricity. I felt him start but he didn't let go. "What are you doing?" he whispered, his fingers clinging loosely to mine. "Saving your reputation like you dd me at the dance. Now we're even." I could feel every eye in the place follow us out and I knew rumors would be flying tomorrow like a swarm of locust. Still, I couldn't resisted the urge to look back and grace all the surprised faces with my sweetest smile. Austin held the door for me. I exited Big Burger still holding his hand. Mr. Myers, stood outside the car, a frown weighing heavily on his features. Corbin Myers might have been described best as chubby (for the moment) but he was on his way to full blown obesity. His round face spouted a neatly trimmed goatee with bits of premature gray. He was dressed in a spots coat a plaid shirt and khaki pants. His blue-gray eyes (the same color as Austins but without the warmth) hardened when they registered us together. Austin let go of my hand and stepped away from me. I waited, feeling abandoned. "You didn't say you were bringing a "friend" with you. Austin," Mr. Myers said his voice dry. "I'm sorry," I said. "It's my fault. Austin offered me a ride home but I can call my mother to pick me up. I'll see you at school tomorrow Austin." I turned to go. "Not necessary young lady," said Mr, Myers. He opened the rear door of the car and motioned me in. "'I'd be less than a gentleman and a poor role model for my son if I allowed you to do that. However, Austin needs to be more...uh ... transparent about his activities." I wondered what kind of activities he meant. He glanced at Austin. "I suppose you want to sit in the back with her." Austin shrugged. For a moment I thought I'd be n the back seat by myself. Then Austin got in beside me and Mr. Myers closed the door. Mr. Myers climbed into the driver's seat, his stomach barely clearing the steering wheel "Corbin Myers," he said, twisting around to face me, his seat groaning under his weight. He thrust out a pudgy hand for me to shake. "I'm Alex." "Alex is it? When I was a young man Alex was a boy's name." He let the statement dangle as if I'd appropriated something that didn't belong to me and should apologize. Mr, Myers reached over and pressed the lock button on the hand rest beside him. My door 's lock clicked and then the engine fired into life. He slipped the car into gear and we were rolling across the parking lot. He stopped where the parking lot exited onto the the road and waited while a line of cars passed. The road cleared but he kept his foot on the brake studying me with cold gray eyes through the rear view mirror. "I feel like I know you from somewhere," he mused. "There's something familiar...have you ever been to our home? Perhaps I met you there." "You don't know her, Dad," Austin said before I could answer. "I haven't known her that long. We really need to get her home, though." "I suppose we do," Mr. Myers said. "How do I get to your house, Alex?" Mr. Myers made me uneasy in a creepy sort of way and I wasn't sure I wanted him to know where I lived. I was also afraid of him. It was like if I lied he'd see right through it. I took a breath I gave him our address rattling off the quickest way to get to our house. Although I'd only been with him for a few minutes, what I wanted more than anything was to be free of Corbin Myers. Mr. Myers switched on the radio. Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry. Be Happy" blasted from the speakers, compliments of "Lite-Mix 99". Mr. Myers lowered the volume then held the scan button. "That's better," he said settling on a modern country station, Garth Brook pining away at being broadsided in "The Dance". "I hate that Jamaican crap. Dope smoking bums. It's crap like that that's wrong with this country. " I 'd seen a segment on Bobby McFerrin on "One Hit Wonders" on the "E" network. He was from New York not Jamaica. I also didn't remember anything about him being associated with drugs. Actually, he was a successful entrepreneur. The lyrics to "The Dance" wound out in a melancholy drone. Garth said he "could have missed the pain (of breaking up) but he would have had to miss the dance". That line in the song made me tear up. I swiped away the errant tear with a sleeve and then I glanced across the seat to see if Austin noticed.. He was focused on the passing scenery, I wondered what he was thinking. "Tell me again how you lost your bike, Austin," Mr. Myers said, hands pressed hard against the steering wheel flexing then tightening his fingers in an angry rhythm. I groaned. He wasn't going to let the matter die. I listened while Austin repeated what he'd relayed over the phone. The story went when Austin took his bike out for a spin taking advantage of the mild weather we were experiencing he saw me not far from the school walking home because I missed my bus. He asked if I wanted a ride and of course I said yes. The only problem was his spare helmet was in his locker at school. We doubled back and I followed him in to get it. When we came back out the bike was gone. It wasn't the truth but it was the best we could do. "That doesn't explain something," said Myers. "How did whoever took your bike get it cranked? You didn't leave the key in it when you went inside the school did you?" "Maybe," said Austin. "Well that's just great! Austin , insurance is not going to want to pay up if you provided the thief with the key." "Sorry Dad." "Sorry! Is that the best you can do? Sometimes I wonder if you really are my son." Myers shook his head. "How could you be so damn stupid!" I glanced at Austin who seemed to have wilted down to half his normal size. His features were twisted in pain, visibly hurt by his father's lashing. A part of me wanted to put an arm around him and pull him close but bigger part wanted to stay in my corner out of the line of fire. Mr. Myers stabbed a hand inside his coat fishing out a crumpled cigarette pack. He peeked inside then cursed, crushing it in his fat paw of a hand. "Goddammit. Where the hell is a convenience store around here? I need some damn smokes." "There's a Pic-a-Sak on the way to my house," I volunteered. I didn't want Mr, Myers driving around for an hour looking for a place to buy tobacco. "It's not far from were we are." "Don't let me pass it," Myers warned. We traveled the next three-quarters of a mile with only the lonesome sounds of Country KSJ FM 97 , the whine of steel guitars accompanying laments of various artist about hound dogs, pick-ups, and the red, white, and blue. As soon as Pic-a -Pak came into view I pointed it out to Mr. Myers. He pulled into the small parking lot in front of the store and got out. "I'll be back in a minute," he said, and then closed the door. I watched Austin's father go inside and then glanced at Austin He had his head down staring at the floorboard of the car. He must have sensed my eyes on him because he lifted his head his blue-gray eyes filled with anguish. "I really let my dad down this time, Alex," he said. "When we moved to Clarksville I wanted so much to make his proud of me but all I've done is disappoint him." I wanted to point out t his dad was a gigantic prick but I held back. Austin needed to talk. "Did you know he owns six companies. including Clarksville Fertilizer.?" Austin continued. "You didn't know because I never told you/. I didn't want you to think I was trying to impress you because we have a lot of money. He used to take me on business trips with him. That's why I'm out of school a lot. He wanted me to learn to be like him. He said one day I'd take his place...but now..." "Austin we need to tell your dad what really happened," I said. "You didn't do anything wrong. You saved me. If anything you're a hero." "No," Austin said. shaking his head so violently I thought it might fly off his shoulders. "You'll get in trouble. You said so." "Austin, we have to." "No!" he half shouted, half cried. "It'll be okay, Alex. Please! Promise you'll let me handle things." I sighed. "Fine," I said even though it wasn't fine at all. Mr. Myers was striding back to the car briskly enough his face was red from effort. He had his phone to his ear.When he reached the car he tapped on Austin's window. I didn't see anything positive, here. The one good thing to come out of it was now maybe I could go home. As roomy as Mr. Myers sedan was, I was feeling claustrophobic. I also needed to pee. "Get out," he ordered, Austin slid to the door and stepped outside. I started to follow but Mr. Myers positioned himself so he blocked my way. "This is between me and my son," he barked. Then he slammed the car door. I watched as he grabbed Austin roughly by the arm steering him out of hearing range. Though I couldn't hear what was said I could see both of them clearly through the window. Mr. Myers stomped around waving his arms sometime shaking a finger in Austin's face. This went on for what seemed like forever though it probably didn't last more than a minute. Finally, Austin made his way back to the car, his head down dragging his feet. I shifted over to give him room to get in. "Are you, okay?" I asked leaning toward him. He waved me away, refusing to look at me. I watched Mr. Myers through the window. He was still pacing with the phone to his ear again puffing madly on a cigarette. After a moment he put the phone away. He tossed the smoke onto the asphalt and ground it out with the sole of his shoe. It took another ten minutes to get from Pic- a- Pak to my house. The daylight had faded to dusk and the bottom floor windows glowed a warm welcoming yellow. I thanked Mr. Myers as I wiggled across the backseat to the door trying not to look as anxious as I felt. He acknowledged the thank you with a nod. As I stepped onto the paving stones leadingto our front steps I noticed Austin hurrying around the car from the other side. "Alex wait," he cried. "I'll walk you to your door." I forced myself to smile as