The English Are Put in Their PlaceChapter 9
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SpoilThePrincess free porn video
Spoil The Princess! There are a variety of reasons you might want to spoil the princess. Maybe that coronavirus stimulus check is burning a hole in your pocket, or maybe your insider stock trading has been going well and you just have money to burn. Perhaps you want the joy of helping put a young mother through college, or you just want the thrill of having some mean bitch take your money while telling you how pathetic you are. Hey, I ain’t going to judge you for it. In fact, I’m about to tell you how to get your fix at SpoilThePrincess.
SpoilThePrincess.com ain’t the easiest site to pigeonhole. It’s got elements in common with escort sites, cam sites and dating sites, with the goal of helping hook you up with real sugar baby relationships and financial domination fetishism. If you’re looking for some gorgeous women to throw your money at, you’re in good company here. Their 4,000 daily visitors are a mix of hot chicks who want a piece of your wallet and perverts like you who are oh so willing to give it up.Come On, Come On, Love Me for the Money
Here at ThePornDude, I’ve reviewed a few sites catering to sugar daddies and sugar babies; SeekingArrangement and SugarDaddyMeet come to mind immediately. I’ve always felt that these are, in some ways, a step up in truthfulness from your traditional dating site. The women on these sites don’t pretend they give much of a fuck about your boring movie opinions, and they’re openly on the hunt for monied gentlemen. In many ways, they’re cutting out the bullshit.
One of the things that catches my eye immediately about Spoil the Princess is that they seem to be aiming for two slightly different demographics. A banner at the top of the screen lists the perks of a Sugar Baby Relationship, including bills, laptops, groceries, chocolates and flowers. The banner flashes, switching over to some perks of Financial Domination: paypigs, fetishes, dominatrixes, kink, and BDSM. You can seek out a more wholesome money-based arrangement, or some balls-out freaky findom shit.
The design is a bit lo-fi, looking more ancient than SpoilThePrincess.com, which is only a few years old. Those flashing banners I mentioned have all-caps stencil letters and animated highlights that look like some ‘90s GeoCities shit. There’s blinking plain text, pixelated clip art, and an overall cluttered layout. Not a single one of the sample videos is anything close to 4K and a lot of them look to have been shot on a goddamn toaster. A couple had audio so fucking degraded I couldn’t understand more than a word or two.
Overall, the presentation screams cheap, which is kind of a weird vibe to push when you’re selling the idea of being a sugar daddy. Contrast that with the high-end format of those other sugar baby sites I mentioned and the whole thing looks even worse. I have to assume it’s because Spoil the Princess leans more toward financial domination than classic sugar baby arrangements.
Then again, only a couple chicks in the previews mentioned being doms or professionals. Most are just regular chicks talking about why they want to date a millionaire and be spoiled like a princess. I guess I better sign up to take a more in-depth look at what SpoilThePrincess.com is all about.Listen to the Money Talk
Signup for SpoilThePrincess is free and only takes a few minutes. First, enter a username and password, give them an email, birthdate and location, and then tell them whether you’re a generous prince or a princess waiting to be spoiled. You can set your profile to public or private, but I’m the kind of fucker who lets it all hang out. That’s kind of the whole reason I’m banned from Starbucks, the movie theater, and the local park.
I thought that was all I had to do, but when I clicked the Submit button, I got an error. It turns out they won’t even let you in unless you upload a video profile or record one on the spot. You need to say your age and SpoilThePrincess.com, but confirmation is instant, so it doesn’t look like anybody’s actually fielding these.
Once you get signed up and logged in, Spoil the Princess drops your off in their PRINCESS CATALOGUE!!! The all-caps and triple exclamation points are theirs, because I’m less excited. That stale layout has followed me inside, with a faux-paper background and pretend-handwriting fonts presenting a wall of lo-res video thumbnails.
The princess catalogue has thousands of hot chicks of every (legal) age, shape, size and color. On the first page alone, I see slim pink-haired pixies and buxom redhaired MILFs. There are Asians, white girls, Latinas, Ebony broads and some stunning exotic chicks of mysterious origin.
These potential sugar babies ain’t in any particular order, but you can try to dial in what you’re looking for with the “advanced” search functions at the top of the page. The first thing I did was narrow it to women within 40 miles of me, which pulled up hundreds more than I expected. SpoilThePrincess has enough babes on the roster that I had to pull my search down to 20 miles just so I wasn’t overwhelmed.
There’s an age filter, but that’s where the woman filters end; you can’t dial in hair color, body type, ethnicity or anything else. In fact, the only other filters relate to paying these bitches. You can filter by message cost, minimum duration, or current availability.
There’s no filter for dominatrixes, but you fetishists out there will probably want to know I didn’t really see any when I was going through the videos. If you want a girl to treat you like a paypig, you’re probably going to have to pay her to learn first.Thousands of Low-Res Babes to Choose From
Once I had a selection of sugar babies narrowed down, it was time to choose. The problem is, all you’ve really got to work with is short, tiny videos with shitty resolution and bad sound, many of which are flat-out broken. I clicked a bunch where a woman moved her mouth, but no sound came out, and others where the audio was separate from the video.
I’m not trying to sound like a pretentious asshole, but in 2022, the quality of these videos is shockingly low. It’s so bad that I’m not really convinced these are new videos. If they are, SpoilThePrincess is running the vids through some fucking awful compression that spits out movies that look at least a decade older than they are. I guess it helps them fit that worn-out layout, but it ain’t a good look.
I switched the call availability filter to On, which completely wiped out my entire list of babes. I started expanding my range, but only found one available chick within 500 miles. She’s asking $4.73 per minute just to talk and even more for video, which isn’t a great deal for a dude accustomed to cheap camwhores. When I dropped the distance filter completely, SpoilThePrincess.com still only had about a dozen women to choose from.
I guess it’s sheer speculation on my part, but that seems like confirmation that most of these old-looking videos really are old. There are thousands of women on Spoil the Princess, but only a handful I can actually spoil at any given time, at least through their call system.
I’m at kind of a loss here, because I’m not sure I see anything that should rightfully be drawing in 4,000 visitors a day. Do they just not know any better? They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but the problems with SpoilThePrincess don’t end with the crusty old layout. The search filters might be inferior to every other dating, escort or camwhore site I’ve looked at, making it way more difficult than it should be to find your ideal sugar baby. That alone is going to be a deal-breaker to anybody with strong preferences.
The best thing I can say for SpoilThePrincess.com is that it’s free to sign up and browse the site. You can get in there and poke around before deciding to load your account up with credits to throw at these chicks. It won’t actually hurt to take a look and see if there are any beautiful women you’d like to sponsor, so I wish you the best of luck. Alternately, you’d probably have an easier time finding a sugar baby on my Sex Dating Sites list, or a financial dominatrix on my list of Escort Sites.
Avriella
- 07.03.2023
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