so happy the wife no longer wants sex
- 4 years ago
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You See, Back in my Day
The man inside running register was sticky and had a lazy eye. If you asked mean enough, he would blow you in the bathroom glory hole. Your fellow shoppers were serial killers and career criminals. The floors hadn’t been mopped in ages and would peel the first few layers of rubber right off your galoshes. Other items available for purchase in the store were handcuffs, whippets, and nunchucks.
The only thing worse was buying porn from the corner store. The judgment cast was palpable. Sure, they put the magazines in black plastic bags, but that only served to highlight your purchase. The other customers there to buy milk and eggs would look down upon you from their pulpit. The store clerk would be no better since they had always come to work directly from church. When they saw you and your black bag approach, they would grasp their rosary beads in fear and disgust.
On the ride home, you would stuff your prize into the spare wheel well of the trunk. You didn’t want the cops to find it in case you were pulled over for speeding. You only have a few minutes home alone before your wife and kids would arrive, so speeding was a necessity.
Once home with your treasure, you had to pray the content was to your liking. Unfortunately, the black bag prevented a preview, and there would only be a few spreads, so if it turned out you had picked up the ugly edition, you had to make do.
The shelf life of a mag was short. It didn’t take long until the pages were saturated with oils, lotions, and cum. Pages would tear and stick together. Invariably it was always your favorite pictures that would get ruined, and soon, you were jerking off to the ads in the back. Once she could finally take no more abuse, you would have to burn the evidence. You can’t take any risks, so a week later, you’re repeating the process.
Not every mag would get tossed, though. Everyone had a vault they would keep their favorite issues in. These would be tucked deep in the basement under the sub-pump or outside in the tool shed. Did you really think the lawnmower needed repair twice a week? Nope, he needed to drain the old balls so he wouldn’t yell at mother for undercooking the potatoes.
It was no easy task jerking off before the internet. Of course, nowadays, this sounds absurd. Porn is so freely available it’s hard to remember it being any other way. Despite all the effort involved, I still look back fondly at what once was. The purchasing experience is gone to the ages, but you can still get your hands on that old-school content.
Adultmagz specializes in the old days. They have amassed a vast collection of vintage porn mags and digitized them for your pleasure. What a strange feeling it is to flip through porn from the 80s on my laptop. It may have originated forty years ago, but the women were still sexy.Passion and Heart
These guys are passionate about their old porn. Adultmagz focuses on issues released before the year 2000. They do their best to add a correct title as well as issue number and date released. However, they admit that they can’t always accomplish that due to the amount of time passed. They even invite anyone who might know more about an issue to comment so Adultmagz can add the information to its compendium.
They also try to include a touch of info about all the content they post—shit like models’ names or random fun facts. Once again, some of these issues are fifty years old. Information isn’t always available, but it’s often interesting when it is.
The website is as simple as the magazines it houses. The only menu options are a link to yours truly, Home, and Request a magazine. The home menu drops down but doesn’t contain anything important. It’s a DMCA, RSS feeds, and shit like that.Requests
Though the admin is humble about their ability to fulfill requests, they have filled every one listed. You may notice a familiar name among them. Even after all I’ve witnessed out on the battlefield, I still like to bring it back. We all got our start somewhere.
There is a small categories menu along the right side. They are all popular magazine titles, with some even the youth may recognize. Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse, and Parliament News. Plus, they have shit that slipped away from cultural memory like Silwa, Visions of fantasy, and Gourmet.
The rest of the main page is magazine covers. If you’re an older reader, prepare to be transported away to days gone by. I feel like I’m shopping along with a magazine rack again. My penis and I are reminiscing of fun times we had together while being thankful for the times still yet to cum. There was always so much cum.
Everything on Adultmagz is available for download. Each mag has at least six download options, with Rapidgator being the suggested method. Not every download link will be functioning, but you should be able to find something that works for you. Magazines can be read on-site, but that function was not currently working on my last visit.
Let me address all the whippersnappers again. Porn magazine content varied considerably in type and quality. Some were a little tease that landed somewhere between fashion mag, Victoria’s Secret, and porn. Others were full nude but high class. Bitches were entirely naked, but there weren’t any close-up pussy shots. Think playboy.
The step up from that was the hustler class. They wouldn’t show sex, but they would show spread eagle pussy. The thrill of seeing your first wide-open pussy was incredible. Unfortunately, that thrill has been reduced since those days of yore. Kids see their first pussy before they can appreciate it, and once it can be appreciated, the supply is limitless. Back in the day, you would beat off staring at the same pussy for months. Life was hard, but so were we.
Then came the real shit. Blow jobs, tit jobs, and penetration, oh my! These were harder to get your hands on. You couldn’t find them at even the most run-down gas stations. You had to go direct to the source, the run-down sex shop with the glory hole. It was always worth the effort, but you had to carry a knife on you. Not so you weren’t robbed, but so you weren’t fucked by a truck driver.
If men in the eighties could only see us now, the jealousy would be palpable. Understandably so. Masturbating is on its way to being better than sex! Who saw that coming?My legacy
Adultmagz knows their stuff. Hunting down these scans is no easy task. I’m not sure if they do any of their own scanning, but either way, it’s a chore. The fact that anyone is putting the time into this task is terrific. All the old content could be lost to the sands of time if not for people like this. I hope my legacy can be similarly effective. A hundred years from now, when my name is spoken, may it be in a tone of eternal respect.
I’m tearing up a little. Only porn can do this to me. Even given the visceral effect, Adultmagz has on me, I can identify some room for change. As I mentioned before, I was unable to read the scans directly off the site. Hopefully, this feature makes its way back.
Not every available download link is viable. This is pretty common amongst porn sites, but it is still annoying. Rapidgator is easy to use and gets the job done, but it can be time-consuming without premium.
The guys at Adultmagz are doing the Lord’s work. I’m so glad old porn is being cataloged for future generations to behold. If we don’t learn from the past, we are bound to repeat it, and I prefer reading my old porn mags online.
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“I can’t wait for tonight, Daddy.” Hedge fund founder Chris Hart looked down at his 18-year-old daughter sitting beside him, the warmth of her whispered comment tickling his ear. He saw his daughter catch his eyes as they flicked from her pretty face to her prominent bustline. She purposely took a deep breath, causing her ample breasts to teasingly fill out the front of her school uniform blouse. Those tits looked so big and soft as they stretched the white cotton blouse taut, but then,...
I climbed into bed next to her. She had been asleep for a while. Looking her over my body sparked back to life again. The way her flat muscular stomach raised up and then fell back down. The way her firm perky breasts were trying to break out of her thin white t-shirt. The way her black thong clung to her pussy like it was holding on for dear life. I could not help but reach out and softly touch her body ... this however is not where my night began, but we will get back to it soon enough. My...
Straight Sex‘Anyone in there?’ Jill said after knocking on the bathroom door. ‘Be out in a second,’ I said. Actually, I didn’t have to use the bathroom. But there was an eight-year-old’s birthday party going on in the house and I needed a break from the noise. I opened the door to let her in, and locked the door behind her. ‘You hiding out?’ she asked. ‘In between baking a cake, cooking pizzas and popcorn, and the noise, I needed a quick timeout. This seemed like as good a place as any.’ The party was...
My name is Monica and I belong to a prestigious magic school. It's a school that's so wealthy that students have nicely appointed private dorm rooms and even magical items for the wizards to instruct with. One afternoon after I had just finished my final exams I slammed my bedroom door behind me and fell back on it too tired to move. I was done for the semester and didn't know what to do-- my parents were vacationing in Europe for the summer and although the college allowed me to stay over...
On the discouraging retreat across New Jersey my outfit acted as rear guard most days. It was hard and nasty work as the British dogged us in a half-hearted manner. An ambitious bastard called Tarleton, I believe, was in charge of this effort while Howe fell once more into Mrs. Loring's plump arms for comfort. We ambushed them along the forest roads and in the swampy areas, slowed them down and allowed Washington's shrinking army to make its way toward the river and Pennsylvania. Very few...
Teenage boys can’t leave themselves alone, we all know that!I was no different, constantly thinking about sex, jerking off whenever I had the opportunity.First thing in the morning when I woke up with the inevitable tent pole, or before I went to sleep, fantasising about Pauline, the unattainable girl in my class. In the shower or the bath, the simple act of washing my cock and balls would invariably trigger an erection.As a rule, having 4 siblings, a mother and a step-father lurking around the...
I was so mad! I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs! But my dorm room walls were pretty thin and I could hear my next door neighbors when they were loud. I knew if I screamed they would hear me and I didn’t want to have to explain myself to a nosy neighbor. I know someone would ask. Having kept this crazy secret bottled inside only seemed to make it worse. I needed an outlet, but couldn’t find one. It had been a week since I had my encounter with the Tentacle Monster. Part of me...