PornDudeShop free porn video

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What do you suppose PornDude Shop has for sale? Is it unlicensed dildos modeled after my schlong, as seen on PornDudeCasting? Perhaps it’s the proprietary blend of herbs, spices, and household chemicals I’ve been developing in my kitchen as an alternative to Viagra or a mass-produced version of the homemade hump machine I built out in the garage. Well, I’m sorry to break it to you folks, but my team of high-powered lawyers already vetoed most of those ideas. So what you’ll find instead is arguably a safer bunch of knickknacks and doodads, all emblazoned with the handsome mug you’ve come to love over the years: my own.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen and absolute perverts, the Porn Dude Shop (dot com) is the one and only place to score officially licensed PornDude merch. I’d been thinking of launching a little shop for a while, and now seemed like the perfect time, especially with all the attention I’ve been getting lately over at PornDudeCasting. In fact, if you’ve been watching and playing along at home, you may already recognize some of the gear I’m hawking. If not, hey, I’ve got some really great casting porn to tell you about. Whatever the case, even if it’s your very first time hearing about me and my various sexual endeavors, I bet I’ve got some shit that’ll make you look and feel like a million bucks. Let’s take a look.

An Unbiased Look at My Awesomeness

Look, I know what you’re already thinking. I’ve always prided myself here at ThePornDude on my unbiased reviews of the best (and worst) adult sites on the Internet, from the free lesbian tubes to the tentacle hentai libraries to the premium teen porn paysite networks. You’re probably wondering how I intend to be unbiased when I’m reviewing my own product, complete with my own face stamped all over your feet, your boobs, your junk, or the place you rest your face at night. And to be entirely honest, there’s no way to avoid that bias.

Sometimes, though, it’s definitely alright to toot your own horn. So if you’re just joining the party and missed the earlier festivities, allow me to humblebrag about all the world-class hotties I’ve been banging over on the PornDudeCasting couch as of late. In the past couple of weeks alone, I’ve smashed Gia Derza and Gianna Dior, two of the world’s most popular pornstars, who you’ve probably cranked off to before. I’ve also banged big names like Natasha Nice and Lauren Phillips and even gave legendary MILF Katie Morgan her first onscreen dick up the ass.

However, even before I was fucking my way through the world’s most beautiful women, I’d made a name for myself as the world’s preeminent porn reviewer. Some of you have been seeing me for years in your pornographic travels, on your way to new and fantastic celebrity nude blogs, sex cartoon collections, interracial anal sites, or whatever it is that gets you all hard and drippy. I get hit up regularly by different news outlets, from Hustler to Wired to MelMagazine, asking my scholarly opinion on all things pornographic.

My point is, I know I’m fucking awesome, and so do you. I wouldn’t have started the PornDude Shop if you guys hadn’t been asking for years to have my face on a t-shirt. I’ve done even better, though. Instead of just giving you an opportunity to have a PornDude on your chest, PornDudeShop carries a variety of licensed merch, from clothing to mugs to pillows, iPhone cases, and stickers. I’ve got some more things up my sleeve and in the works, too, but you’ll just have to keep stopping by to see.

Rocking Porn Dude Gear All Day and All Night

Let’s get more specific about that gear, shall we? I sell stuff on PornDudeShop that you can use throughout your whole day. And if you don’t sleep naked, you can keep your nighttime boner tucked safely in a pair of Porn Dude Island Boxer Briefs and your head resting on an official Porn Dude Casting Pillow. (Yes, that’s the same one you see on set, although yours will arrive brand new. Sorry, but pornstar pussy juice is unavailable on the home model.)

After you wake up, rub the sleep out of your eyes and the sperm out of your ding-dong, you can wash down your erectile enhancement pills with some coffee straight out of an official Dude Island Mug. That’s the same pervert paradise you see at the bottom of ThePornDude.com, and it looks pretty fucking sharp wrapped around your morning cup of Joe. There are also a few other mugs available from the Porn Dude Shop, so you can enjoy my face with drinks at every meal. They also hold sperm well.

Once you’re adequately caffeinated and your dick is working at full capacity, it’s time to get dressed for the day. I’ve got half a dozen different PornDude t-shirt designs to choose from on PornDudeShop.com, from the aforementioned Porn Dude Island to a few other Porn Dude poses to a simple yet classy logo across the titty area. And if it’s chilly where you live, you could always cop a hoodie with the same kickass graphics.

Oh, and don’t forget the socks! Wearing shoes without socks is a good way to get those Nikes smelling like a rancid gymnasium of the dead, but the official Porn Dude Emoji Socks will keep your feet fresh, clean, and dry just as long as you’re changing them daily like anyone with decent hygiene. These are literally the same exact socks I wear when I’m humping pornstars on PornDudeCasting! I’m not saying you’ll be getting higher-caliber pussy if you start rocking these, but they’re definitely a few steps up from those off-brand Fruit-of-the-Loom knockoffs you bought off Wish.

You could also lug my image around with you everywhere you go with one of the phone cases I’ve got for sale in the Porn Dude Shop. I’ve got them available for iPhones and Samsung Galaxies right now, but that could change. Well, if I don’t have one for your current phone, no worries because you could always buy an official Porn Dude sticker and use it to customize your flip phone or whatever. They also look good on Fleshlights, bongs, guitars, windowless vans, and pretty much anything else with a flat surface available for sticking.

My Face to Your Door, Cheap!

How much would you expect to pay for a Porn Dude pillow, a Dude Island mug, or an official Porn Dude Casting Pillow? A hundred bucks? A thousand dollars? A million bones? I’m just fucking with you. Of course, we aren’t exactly the dollar store, but the prices you’ll find on PornDudeShop.com aren’t going to break the bank. Hell, for less than what you’d pay for a month at a paysite, you can walk around with my face on your feet. And since the socks arrive new, you won’t even have to squish around in my sperm, as I sometimes do between laundry days.

It’s also worth mentioning that the horny little elves who run the Porn Dude Shop will ship the goods anywhere in the world. That may change in the future, but so far, we haven’t been banned or outlawed by any of the prudish countries who give me shit about ThePornDude. So unless something changes, you can order my socks, boxers, pillows, and everything else, no matter what corner of the globe you usually do your jerking off.

In the interest of trying to be unbiased, I did look for some shit to complain about as I perused PornDudeShop.com for this review. And really, my only potential beef is that the selection could be a little wider. I mean, I don’t have those Porn Dude dildos available yet, but I have taken some casts of my cock, so we’ll see what happens with that. (The lawyers have given me a pretty solid “No” on the proprietary boner pills, rectal vodka syringes, and cock-stretching pulley systems, though.) Still, if there’s something you’d like to see available in the Porn Dude Shop, hit me up, and I’ll see what I can do.

Some people think my job is just a few extra minutes of masturbation every day, but I’m a busy motherfucker. I barely have time for any recreational bishop flogging between reviewing new porn sites daily, shooting weekly videos for PornDudeCasting, and designing merch for PornDudeShop.com. It’s all worth it in the end because I know my fans are happy as they beat off to their favorite smut, the porno that I’ve helped them find or maybe even starred in. If you’ve ever wanted to throw some support back my way or just let the world know what amazing taste you have, imagine how good you’d look in some of this official gear.

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Hi. I’m a regular reader on the site but this is my first time posting here. My wifi was down for the day and I was at home and didn’t have anything else to do so I decided to pen down some of my past sexcapades. Now this is going to be a long read because ive tried to include most of the events leading up to the actual sex so read on. Feedback welcome.So this incident happened about 3 months back. I like going on long runs and gymming and you know, generally keeping myself fit. I’m not into...

My Sons Migraines Ch 2

[Read Chapter 1 before proceeding] I had to leave the house early the next morning for a work meeting, so I didn’t see Alex until the evening. I had a hard time focusing during the day. Visions of the night before kept taking over my planned work. One minute I’m reviewing next quarter’s finance reports and the next I’m picturing my son’s hard cock glistening with pre-cum. My cunt was on fire all day. Thankfully the afternoon was packed with meetings that kept me engaged and not thinking...

Accident

This predicament that I have gotten myself into started out quite by accident. My wife and I have been married for about a year. We are both independent people and I have a pressure filled job. I have always done my share of the house work including cleaning, dishes cooking and my laundry. I had been working on a special project that consumed every waking second. I did not have any time to help out around the house and Mandy understood. So when I woke up that morning I realized that I...

Thanksgiving oh how he was so thankful PART II

I was hovering over her, nestled in between her legs and kissing her sweet mouth. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me in for a deeper kiss. She let out subtle moans and I continued kissing her passionately. Her little hands played through my hair, tugging and wrestling, one hand groped the back of my neck while the other was on my jaw. She is an excellent kisser. I released her from the kiss, took her face in both my hands and looked deep in her eyes, I'm surprised she didn't tap...

First Time

Franks Holiday Part 4

I woke up around 4 laying naked on my bed, the balcony door was open letting the afternoon sun shine in and it was quite warm. I got up and stood by the door looking out, Jeans door was shut so maybe she had ventured out but I was sure I would catch her at some point. I needed to eat so thought I would nip down and see what was available. I threw on a clean pair of shorts and tee and headed off downstairs, Sam was in the bar sitting at a table doing some kind of paperwork, her cleaning kit down...

BlowJobFridays Arietta Adams Arietta Sucks Her Stepbrothers Dick

Arietta Adams was supposed to go on a date tonight, but the guy cancelled on her. She’s upset because she was so horny and ready to suck some dick. Her stepbrother complains that she needs to put some pants on and he doesn’t wanna see her ass around the house. Arietta tells him that she knows all about his little secret. She read his messages and saw everything about how he wants his little step sister to suck his dick. At first he’s nervous, but then he caves in. She pulls...

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Summer Time Rachel

Rachel and I blasted our lungs out through the open windows. We were getting close to the beach and when WPST started to play Nicki Minaj’s song, we looked at each other and grinned. Rachel took one hand off the steering wheel and cranked the volume up. Rachel turned onto 10th Avenue and drove straight to Belmar’s Boardwalk. At the end she turned left and we began to look for a parking spot. She found a spot on 6th Avenue, next to Ferruggiaro Park, and parked her car. We got out, grabbed our...

First Time

Freeuse 1 Cafe

She was with a group of friends at a streetside cafe, one of those kinds where every table only has two stools, so she stood, hand casually on the table around her drink. They were chatting about how much groceries were when a man came up behind her, drawing his cock out of his athletic shorts. Her friends noticed him, and Chelsea noticed their expressions change and felt his presence behind her. She looked rearward in time to feel his hand on her back, pushing her torso forward, while her...

Glorydaze 1

I never had seen a gloryhole till I was in my 20's. I was laid off and just kicking around town when I went in to check out one of the many adult video stores that were around town then. Sitting in the booth I saw the hole in the wall and pretty soon I saw a finger drag through it. I ran! I'd never had a blowjob from a guy or given one. I would play with my ass and fantasize but that was it. After a few days curiosity got the best of me and I went back. This time when someone came in the next...

The After Party

No name metal band concert, some vodka, three chicks and a guy – this was our regular way of spending Friday nights. We were there for a friend, the guitarist but after a couple of drinks the main idea became kissing each other and getting more free drinks. The guy was completely left aside. I, personnaly was totally charmed by Dennise’s soft lips and her pointy nipples that you could’ve easly guess through the shirt. Her shiny orange hair was making her easy to target in that bar so I...

Me And Mike In The Treehouse Part 2

A couple of weeks had gone by since my first story. Mike and I saw each other once in a while but never had the chance to go “swimming” by ourselves. We have other friends and family stuff to do so it took a while for us to have that chance again. Almost too long for me. The day finally came and we set up a meet and told our parents our plans to go swimming. We just failed to mention our plans for afterwards. We met as usually at the tree house and dropped off our clothes and snacks. ...

The Barbie Lez Fantasies Week 93 My Bosss Dog

Introduction: A quick and kinky bestiality fantasy! Authors Note 1: These short fantasies started off as weekly mini-stories for my readers, but the newsletter was shut down because autoresponders do not accept adult content. I thus decided to publish these fantasies for free for my readers to enjoy. It is meant to entertain, so please do not leave hateful comments if everything is not perfect. I am only human after all. Authors Note 2: Although this fantasy can be read independently, it was...

Billionaire and the SisterhoodChapter 8 A Test Case and a New Friend

Mark Damn. I forgot that my security team had an unobstructed view of the beach right where Cindy, Elsa, and I had fucked away a large chunk of the afternoon before falling asleep in a sexual stupor in the warm afternoon. We were all asleep under some palms and naked when Lucas, my head bodyguard, woke me with a concern about some approaching boats. We responded by going up to the house, but any exhibitionist damage had been done long before. The girls were slightly concerned and partly...

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