There Oughta Be a LawChapter 4
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XNEON free porn video
I pulled up XNeon this morning, thinking it might be a good place to get a neon sign made for PornDudeCasting. It turns out they aren’t manufacturing glowing storefront signs at all; they’re actually giving away free porno. I found some of my PornDudeCasting movies inside, though, which is always a good sign. But that isn’t nearly all I found, either. You’ve got some time to kill, right? Because you might be here for a while.
Am I late to the party? The XNeon.com domain has existed for a couple of decades now, though it’s over the last few months that they’ve become the smut-slanging behemoth they are today. In March, they set a record with around 12 million visitors, which tells me there’s probably something worth lubing up for underneath that pretend-neon logo. The site describes itself as “a search engine that solely looks for pornographic videos online,” which already makes it a million times better than Microsoft Bing. Let’s see how it compares to some of the other sites I like to shake my dick at.
Kind of Like Google, but for Porno
When I first pulled up XNeon’s front page, I assumed it was another free tube. It sure looks like one. Beneath a header with a logo, a search bar, and a row of tags is a huge wall of thumbnails, just like you’ll find on PornTube, XVideos, or a million imitators. The big difference here’s that XNeon doesn’t actually host any of the teen blowjobs, lesbian threesomes, or interracial gangbangs you find listed on the site. Click on a thumbnail, and you end up somewhere else. In a sense, it’s a lot like ThePornDude; beneath all the bells and whistles, we’re pointing out other good places on the internet to jerk off.
Well, clicking on a few random links, my browser opens up new tabs at Pornhub, XXXFiles, and PornHat. A few more, and I’ve got Analdin, xHamster, and BravoTube, all playing dirty movies in different tabs. Sometimes I’ll review a site like this, and it feels like they’re only indexing the content of a few tubes. Almost every link I clicked during the first few minutes of my visit brought me somewhere different. I couldn’t find a list, but “XNeon is finding free porn on a ton of the internet’s tube.”
That’s probably why the search engine is so fucking big. I mean, hell, Google wouldn’t be what it is if they didn’t have a million robotic spiders crawling the world wide web all day and night. XNeon’s limiting itself to free and dirty sites, but it still adds up to a ton of content. There’s a current count listed at the top of the screen in the search bar. As of this writing, there are nearly 35 million videos indexed in the search engine.
Of course, tubes tend to have a lot of overlapping content, so that doesn’t necessarily mean 35 million unique videos. For example, when I searched for my own PornDudeCasting videos, I found 105 movies. Here’s the thing: I’ve only actually released 71 so far. Do the math. That said, I don’t think the duplicate content will be a dealbreaker for anybody. At the end of the day, it still means more porn on a wider variety, and it’s still 100% free.
Depending on when you actually read this review, there’s a chance the collection might be bigger, maybe even a lot bigger. According to the front page, “they’re adding new quality videos every five minutes.” A search engine isn’t shit if it isn’t constantly growing and indexing the new content on the internet, so that’s what I like to hear. Instead of touring a bunch of different free tubes to watch the latest search results for “PAWG sister threesome,” I can just pull up XNeon.com and let them lead the way.
What Are We Wanking to Today?
It goes without saying that if XNeon.com is listing the contents of various tubes, they’re fucking with a bunch of different pornos. They even mention it right out front, at the very top of the page: there are thousands of categories of smut in the library. So what would you like to whack off to today?
There’s a row of popular searches near the top, giving you quick links to huge selections of Amateur, Anal, and Asian movies, BBW, Black, Casting, and Creampie. The thumbnails out front are actually a Categories menu rather than direct video links like your standard tube. So if you click on a pretty girl next door or a cocksucking whore, you’ll be redirected to a massive selection of similar material.
The big-boobed Mamacita examining a cock in front of some younger broads represents 200,856 Latina MILF movies. There are nearly 400,000 Double Anal videos filed behind the chick in the dress, and the Asian schoolgirl pic leads you to 500,000 Japanese BJ scenes. I think the counter maxes out at 500k because the same number is listed for categories like Amateur Wife, Huge Dick, Threesome, and Massage.
XNeon.com has eight pages of category thumbnails, plus an extensive text list below. While the site is technically a search engine, the various menus give you more browsability than your average search engine, clean or dirty. I wish they had a pornstars index, too, though I understand why a search engine wouldn’t have that.
Still, you should definitely type the names of your favorite starlets into the search bar, though. For example, a quick search for Abella Danger brought back 17,000 videos, 2,461 Katie Kush flicks, and a couple of thousand with Brooklyn Gray. Of course, social media sluts are all over the place, too, like Amouranth and Belle Delphine. I even found more obscure pornstars with ease, including 250 starring my favorite fat chick, Estella Bathory.
It’s a safe bet that you’ll find all your favorite pornstars and amateurs on XNeon. Honestly, suppose your top pornstars aren’t listed anywhere on the site. In that case, you’re probably whacking off to some super-underground homemade shit that you shot in your basement and never showed anybody else. If that’s the case, more power to you, but why not share with the rest of the class? Most of the tubes that XNeon links to accept user uploads. Wouldn’t you like to see your girlfriend getting boned on the same page as Riley Reid, Lana Rhoades, or your old friend ThePornDude?
Show Me to Your Finest MILFs
Reviewing a porn search engine is different from reviewing your average free tube. On a video-sharing site, I’d be reporting on things like playback resolution, buffering, and pop-up ads that appear when you try to hit the Play button. The thing is, the Play buttons here are actually on other sites. XNeon doesn’t host anything themselves, which means issues I may run into on the other side of the pipe aren’t even their fault.
A man’s got to start somewhere, though, so I clicked on the thumbnail out front that said Mom Huge Boobs, and off I went. There were over 300,000 videos to choose from in the aisle, but a Natasha Nice movie caught my eye right away. In case you missed it, I actually got to know Natasha pretty intimately over at PornDudeCasting. This particular Nice video was hosted on DrTuber, which popped up in a new tab.
It’s just a six-minute sample scene from a taboo paysite, but Natasha looks beautiful as per usual. It’s shot POV, with her stepson as the cameraman, telling her about his dick problems in the opening minutes. The dick comes out halfway through the clip, at which point Natasha works her magic. XNeon might not be streaming the vid, but I appreciate them pointing it out to me.
One of the things that struck me during my visit to XNeon was the spam situation. With my adblocker running, I didn’t see any spam today – not a single banner ad, pop-up, or sponsored post. It’s common for porn sites with a ton of content to hit you with a matching ton of spam, but that didn’t happen to me.
It means there’s nothing between you and the 35 million porno movies listed on XNeon.com, except maybe the content filter at the library or the office. By listing the contents of a whole shit-load of free tubes, they save masturbators a lot of time and effort. Try typing your favorite category into the search bar, but I’d recommend ensuring you’ve got plenty of free time first. This could take all day.
Ofelia
- 07.03.2023
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- Porn Aggregators
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