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Humans love to argue. We'll battle about almost anything. That's why we create forms of entertainment we can debate about instead of resorting to real issues. It helps us get our inner monkeys out so we can function as members of civilized society while at work.

Master Debaters

Sports fill this role quite well. Right now, at any sports bar in the world, you can find a couple of guys in a heated debate about rules, bad calls, who the GOAT is, and who is going to have a better next season. Entire relationships can hinge on the victory of a team.

I've seen men who didn't cry at their parent's funeral, their wedding, or the birth of their child that opened up the waterworks for a Super Bowl win. I'm not sure what that says about guys in general, but phycologists would probably call it a bad sign. However, I call it excellent emotional regulation.

While sports are important, we can't let petty arguments detract us from the essential questions in life. Questions like which is better, fucking the mouth, pussy, or asshole? This question has been mulled over by every man ever to stick his dick in a moist hole. It's one of the greatest mysteries of our time, and everyone has an opinion.

Mans Greatest Accomplishment

Let's take this debate hole by hole, starting with the mouth. I want all men on the planet earth to pat themselves on the back right now. It took a long time, but we finally changed human culture to reflect the needs of our penis, and now all bitches suck dick.

That wasn't always the case. We had to fight for blow jobs to become the norm. Now bitches battle over who gives better head. What a wonderful time to be alive.

Not only did we make the blow job a regular part of sex, but we bred the gag reflex right out of these bitches. I haven't gotten a blow job from a bitch with a gag reflex since I was in high school. It's fucking incredible. It might be our most extraordinary accomplishment, gentlemen. Fuck landing on the moon. Fuck the Large Hydron Collider. Fuck Nuclear power. Even combined, those accomplishments pale in comparison to training every bitch how to properly blow cock.

What makes the blow job so amazing is the fact men don't have to do anything. The workload is entirely on the bitch. All I have to do is sit back and enjoy. It's also the perfect hole for multitasking. Because all my limbs are free, I can drive, do taxes, play video games, or get some work done, all while a bitch bob's on my knob like corn on the cob.

The only downside is that blow jobs rely on the skills of the provider. If your bitch has no head game, your dick is about to be chewed up and spit out like a piece of grape Bubble Tape.

Leader of the Holes

The pussy is considered the leader of the hole-y trinity. It's the one orifice that was purpose-built for cock to ram into. As a result, it has the ideal dimensions for cock massage. The vaginal walls are slippery yet still grip, providing the nerves on your dick tip the trip of their lifetime.

Of course, the pussy is perfectly placed within the hips so bitches can work it and twerk it while they ride your johnson like the royal stead it is. And let's not forget about the kegel muscles. I've fucked bitches with enough core strength to snap my dick off at the root and fire out into the woods, to never be seen again.

The only downside to the pussy is that slinging ropes inside of it can lead to spawn. As the Porndude, producing spawn has always been my mortal enemy, especially considering that my alpha sperm is so strong, powerful, and fast. Their twice the size of the average beta sperm. What do they look like, you ask? Imagine if Rambo fucked a tadpole, and the resulting child was raised by Copperhead snakes. That's what my sperm looks like.

Orphan Annie's Asshole

That brings us to the star of this review, anal. Anal is the redheaded stepchild of fuckable orifices. Not everyone likes it, it gets made fun of, and no one talks about it publicly. Of all the holes, the anus gets used the least, and that's a shame. Much like redheaded stepchildren, the anus is misunderstood.

People fear the poopie within, but the people need not be scared of the poopie. The poopie will not bite. Listen to me. Will some poop come out if you fuck a bitch right after she eats a spicy burrito from Taco Bell? Probably. That's why you have to plan.

But it's the planning aspect that makes the asshole such a rarely-used entry point. Most of us don't plan ahead like that, especially when two other holes are waiting and at the ready.

However, if you are willing to put the extra work in, the asshole has many gifts for your penis. It's tight, doesn't contain eggs, and proves a bitches dedication to your pleasure.

Unfortunately, my readers can't even get a fucking hand job, let alone anal, so let me introduce you to the anal section of Straight Aebn. Straight Aebn is a pay-by-the-minute premium porn site with a brimming selection of anal porn that will keep you and your cock busy for years.

Bath and Booty Works

I've reviewed the site as a whole in the past, so let's move directly on to the awesome anal content you'll find in its library, starting with "Tubby with Mommy," produced by Yummy Girl and starring Sofie Marie and Alex Jett.

Alex just returned home after a long drive through the country and desperately needs a shower. His stepmother, Sofia Marie, suggests that he take a "tubby" like he used to when he was a little kid. Alex agrees and pours himself a nice warm bath.

As Alex relaxes in the water, his alone time is rudely interrupted by Sofia. However, she makes up for the interruption by offering to wash him just like she used to. Alex is a little weirded out, but Sofia seems sincere, so he agrees to some assistance.

As Sofia washes his back, a lock of her hair gets wet. Well, what's the point of trying to stay dry now? So Sofia says fuck it, strips naked, and hops right in the tub with the shocked Alex.

Sophia continues to clean her stepson, but now he is rock hard. He can't help it. Maybe if his stepmom didn't have such great tits, he could have kept control.

Since they are alone in the house, Sophia lets her stepson lick her pussy. He tries to make a move to shove his cock in her puss, but she turns him down. He is her stepson, after all. Instead, she offers to suck his dick clean. At least this bitch isn't a total prude.

Eventually, though, her lust gets the better of her, and she leads Alex to the bedroom by his young cock and lets him into her Candyland. Apparently, Sofia has completely given up because not only does she let him in her pussy, she lets him in her asshole also.

Massive Appetite

Next up, we have "Hungry For Anal," produced by 21st Sextury and starring Shona River, Candie Luciana, Linda Leclair, and Sara Jones. In the first scene, Candie Luciana is a sexy little horn dog that never says no when her wet pussy comes calling.

She has been extra horny all day and can't stop fucking herself in the ass with her favorite giant dildo. David Perry hears all the commotion from down the hall and walks in to see what the excitement is about. When he arrives, he finds Candie spread eagle with ten inches of silicone up her ass.

As he watches, he can't help but pull his member out and stroke it. Who wouldn't? The problem is that he gets too into jerking off and forgets to remain quiet. He thought Candie would be pissed to discover him jerking off in the corner, but instead, she's pleasantly surprised. She was hoping a real cock would walk by and take care of her needs.

Anal sex doesn't get the shine that vaginal and oral sex does, but those of us who know its wonders have a special place in our hearts for it. The anus is a gift to man from the universe. Don't waste your blessings by not sticking your cock in them.

Straight Aebn is at the top of the pay-by-the-minute premium porn food chain. It's one of the best porn sites in the world and, as such, doesn't have much wrong with it. However, I wouldn't mind if they removed the bright white background.

I know you motherfuckers are hungry for anal, so why not watch the movie "Hungry for Anal"?

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“Let’s try anal.” It sounds like a simple enough request, but most of you dudes know how hard it can be to get a sober chick to go for it. Only 36 percent of straight women admit to getting butt-fucked at least once. It’s higher than some of you virginal neckbeards would have guessed, but still way too low. Thankfully, the girls at LetsTryAnal.com are always DTBF.First Time Ass Fucking!The subtitle of Lets Try Anal is FIRST TIME ASS FUCKING! The all-caps yelling and exclamation point are all...

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1 year ago
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DaftSex Anal

It’s time to head down to brown town with this next site. No, I’m not talking about scat. Thank fucking god. Time to go down and get freaky with some anal porn. One of the most popular fetishes out there. It’s up there with all of you freaky feet lovers out there. But there’s something super-hot about going to pound town on some bodacious babes’ plumb booty. And people love that shit for a reason. It’s tighter and feels fucking awesome. You know you’ve got a keeper when she likes taking it in...

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4 years ago
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An anal retentive couple tries anal

A humorous story about the world’s most anal retentive couple, trying anal sex. Yes, that’s it. Fuck my asshole with your big dick. Give me that dick, deep in my ass!” Rebecca said, “Darling, I had the most unusual of thoughts last night, while I was redoing my sock drawer. Just as I had re-rolled all the gray socks and arranged them according to their respective light wavelengths, I found myself daydreaming. Daydreaming in a sexual way, as a matter of fact.” said...

1 year ago
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XVideos Anal

I am like 95% sure that everyone has already heard about xvideos.com before, and in case you have not, where the fuck were you looking? It is safe to say that this site is one of the most popular free porn websites, for many reasons, that I shall briefly mention here… what I shall mostly pay attention to is their hot anal section, so if you love to see tight asses getting spread with hard rods, you have come to the right place.Simple design, lots of free content.Is there a need for me to...

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1 year ago
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HotMovies Anal

Everyone has a favorite hole to stick their dick in. For me, it's the classic vagina. I appreciate that it was purpose-built for the penis to have a good time in. For you guys, it's probably not even a hole in a female body. You gave up on feeling one of those a long time ago. Now, instead, you have a favorite fleshlight because you like the way the sleeve twists both ways.The Holey TrinityI'm sorry you guys have been so deprived of sex that a warm moist hole connected to a living body is out...

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1 year ago
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Teens Love Anal

TeensLoveAnal! What’s tighter than a teenage slut’s cunt? A teenage virgin’s butthole. Scientists agree it’s the tightest human flesh-hole suitable for receiving boners, and it’s the star of the show over at Teens Love Anal.The blurb at the top says TeensLoveAnal is the official home of TeamSkeet’s newest anal site. That’s interesting, since they’ve been up and running since 2013. I guess they’re hot enough TeamSkeet hasn’t felt the need to build a new one. Either way, the name TeamSkeet is...

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1 year ago
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Elegant Anal

ElegantAnal! Dudes are always looking for the biggest, best thing. We want to drive monster trucks through mansions, feeling up on sluts with the hugest boobs. When it comes to sticking our dicks in holes, though, bigger and better actually means smaller and tighter. Yeah, gentleman, I’m talking about the butthole here, the topic of conversation over at ElegantAnal.Well, maybe “conversation” ain’t the right word. There’s always a little talking going on, but Elegant Anal is not the place for...

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2 years ago
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An anal retentive couple tries anal

"Darling, I had the most unusual of thoughts last night, while I was redoing my sock drawer. Just as I had re-rolled all the gray socks and arranged them according to their respective light wavelengths, I found myself daydreaming. Daydreaming in a sexual way, as a matter of fact." said Charles. Charles was 33, enjoying a successful career as a CPA, drove a BMW that he washed on Fridays, Sundays, Tuesdays, and only if it needed it, Thursdays too. Everything in Charles' life was immaculate...

2 years ago
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Young innocent blonde resists her first anal

Over the past few weeks my secretary Christine has been telling me about a girl she met at a dress boutique. She stopped there one night to do some shopping and met this girl Heather who worked there. Ever since then, Christine has been talking about her. You see Christine has this fantasy. She constantly wonders what it would be like turning a sweet innocent girl into our little plaything. Now we really didn't think that we'd ever meet anyone to make that fantasy come true, but it was nice...

1 year ago
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YesPornPlease Anal

YesPornPlease.com is a porn site whose name is an easy answer to a simple question. Yes, you’re goddamn right I’d like some porn. Hook it up, please. I’ve written about the site and their pornographic offerings before, and I recommend you check out the review if you like free tubes. Today, though, I’m going to take a long, deep, and intimate look at their Anal section.A Series of Anal Sex TubesYes Porn Please is a free porn tube, and shares the same basic layout as every other site giving away...

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1 year ago
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Analized

It’s time to lube up and get yourself ready for one of the biggest fetishes out there. Anal porn. It’s been steadily growing in popularity lately. Especially eating ass. I mean, what’s not to like about a big bodacious booty in your face? Plus, if you get the right slut then she will love getting down and dirty with some anal play. If you haven’t had the pleasure of going to pound town on some babe’s tight ass, then, fuck, you are missing out. But, don’t worry. I’ve got a site today that will...

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2 years ago
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Crazy Sexperience In Manali

I am Niki and I am back with my second sex story. This was my first one – https://www.indiansexstories2.net/couple/kritis-crazy-sex-story/ This happened a few years back when my four friends and I were on our way to Manali from Delhi. We were thrilled to take a few days off to enjoy the lovely spring in Manali. It was three girls including me and two guys. One of the guys had taken his brother’s Innova car for the trip to drive down. Basically, amongst the 5 of us, we had a couple, two single...

1 year ago
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Reddit Anal

Reddit Anal, aka r/Anal! Honestly, I feel quite silly when I try to introduce Reddit, because who has not heard about this wonderful place before? Well, for all of you lads who have never visited Reddit before, you are missing out, and here I shall talk mostly about their anal session, for obvious fucking reasons. There is a lot for you to explore on reddit.com/r/anal, and since the site is free, what the fuck are you waiting for?What is this wonderful place you stumbled upon?While I know that...

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1 year ago
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Chaturbate Anal

Why even bother watching some camgirl who won’t do anything really hot? It’s the same old story time and time again. You click on some cute-looking camslut only to find that she stares at the camera for hours on end, barely even teasing a nipple, let alone anything worth jerking your dick to. It happens all of the fucking time. I want to find the best babes that actually get fucked, suck cock, and ride dildos. Oh, and I want sluts who aren’t afraid of a little anal. Let me see those butt plugs,...

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3 years ago
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How i Learnt The Pleasure of Anal

How I learned the pleasures of analThis narrative is the journey that lead up to my first experience with anal sex. The details I have here are as accurate as I can recall and any dialog is essentially the best of what I can remember now. It of course gets more sexually explicit and graphic towards the end...I was born and grew up in what many would probably call an average small suburb. In my early years, while starting puberty I began to explore sex the way I assume many boys across the world...

2 years ago
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A WellLived Life Book 10 The WifeChapter 53 Prajesh and Anala

July, 1985, Chicago, Illinois On Tuesday morning, CNN reported that Gorbachev had removed Andrei Gromyko as Foreign Minister and replaced him with Eduard Shevardnadze. It seemed that some kind of shakeup had begun in Moscow, but I didn’t know what this might mean. I called Tanya in Boston to ask her, and she said that she didn’t think it was a bad thing since Shevardnadze had been a party member from before World War II, and thus was, at least to some extent, part of the older faction in the...

3 years ago
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MotherStep Daughter Anal

For a forty year old couple Carol and I are pretty sexually active. Carol even said it was OK with her if I fucked her twenty year old step daughter Angie. No late night TV for us. Instead we still liked to hit the local bars where we trolled for fun loving couples like us. We met Kate and Al at a local singles bar and they introduced us to a local swingers group they belonged to. We had been to several “parties” and Carol loved to fuck around especially with the younger guys. Carol had no...

3 years ago
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Do Women Really Like Anal

We see anal videos popping up all over. The common belief is that women hate anal and it find it nasty and disgusting besides painful and torturous. That's what makes these videos so popular. The truth my friends is something different.Few years ago I had my first anal with a young, 20 something girl. She hated it. She cried out loud and in our 6 month relationship we only did it twice.I broke up and got involved with another girl, a young school teacher who was addicted to sex but she didn't...

2 years ago
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Fucked my crush in Manali

Hi, readers. Your Milf Lover is back with a new story. This is also a real story. This happened after I lost my virginity to my aunt. I got more confidence to have sex with other girls. So let’s get to the story. This is the story of me getting lucky with my female best friend’s older sister. She had always been my crush since my school days. She was 4 years older than me. So the story starts when I receive a call from my friend one day. Me: Hi, what’s up! Friend: Hello, nothing much. I want...

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