Three New Guys free porn video

3 years ago

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On Becoming Miss Louisa Harper of New York and Newport 3

From 'The Autobiography of Miss Louisa Harper' ~ "Langdon Beech-Thorndyke III was 'a catch.' Mother and Father thought that he would be a perfect match for me. He was twenty three and I was fifteen. My parents hoped that we would become betrothed that summer and then a grandiose wedding would follow in three years after I turned eighteen. This was my sister's summer, though. Miranda would be married in August to a Vanderbilt cousin who she barely knew. The opulent affair...

2 years ago

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On Becoming Miss Louisa Harper of New York and Newport 2

From 'The Autobiography of Miss Louisa Harper' ~ "Beauty comes from pain, Louisa. A proper young woman does not present herself unless she is properly coiffed, properly made-up, properly attired and wearing the proper accoutrements. That, Louisa, is what 'proper' means." Of course, I tried to argue. That is, after all, what an adolescent is supposed to do, but my mother would just purse her lips, shake her head in disgust and repeat that one sentence that she spoke most frequently...

4 years ago

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On Becoming Miss Louisa Harper of New York and Newport 6

From 'The Autobiography of Miss Louisa Harper of New York and Newport' ~ "The day of Miranda's wedding was cloudy and overcast, so perhaps Aunt Ada had been correct. Perhaps God would not waste a beautiful day on a wedding that would lead to a loveless marriage. Instead of using the vast tents that had been erected on the lawns at Golden Bluffs, everything was moved into our grand ballroom, which was large, but could not accommodate everyone who'd been invited. So, tables were also...

3 years ago

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On Becoming Miss Louisa Harper of New York and Newport 5

From 'The Autobiography of Miss Louisa Harper' ~ "The week prior to Miranda's wedding was a hectic and crowded one at Golden Bluffs. All of our relations came to Newport for the event and many of them stayed with us. Unfortunately, we also had many friends and business associates staying as well, which did lead to some difficult choices. Father was a self-made man who had family he wanted in attendance, but they were from a lower rung of society. So, since the rooms were assigned to...

3 years ago

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Eric Olafson Midshipman Vol 4Part 74 NEWPORT

We entered the outmost orbit of the Dover System ten hours before the deadline. Har-Hi who stood next to me sighed. “I wished it would have taken longer. This is what I am born for, to be aboard a ship and roam the stars’”. I felt the same way and agreed with him, saying. “Me too.” The doors opened and Wetmouth stepped through, taking her seat behind the small science station at the rear of the bridge. I observed Har Hi who acted as the OPS officer of our little crew dedicating sensors...

1 year ago

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Newport Adventures

This is a true story about the light of my life. She passed away from cancer years ago and I wrote this to remember her. She was an amazing person who left this world a better place. Enjoy. A true story This is a true story about the light of my life. She passed away from cancer years ago and I wrote this to remember her. She was an amazing person who left this world a better place. Enjoy. My wife and I were attending a car show in Newport Beach. It was at the Newporter Inn, a classically...

3 years ago

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Eric Olafson Midshipman Vol 4Part 78 NEWPORT ACADEMY

We all had a good night’s sleep and used one of our own Cargo skimmers that was part of the Destroyers equipment to fly back instead of walking and were told to join all the other cadets in a large assembly hall with flags of the Union hanging from the ceiling where I estimated perhaps 600 senior Cadets had gathered. There were no chairs, everyone was standing. At one end of the assembly hall was a raised platform and a lectern with the Newport Academy logo. I saw an Admiral coming in. I...

1 year ago

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Three Guys

Three Guys Janet L. Stickney [email protected] The three of us had been the butt of so many jokes that it was becoming unbearable. We were three guys with no way to get back at out tormentors, unable to muster the nerve to strike back, or the even manliness to try it, and sadly, it had always been this way. The very last straw, the one that certainly broke my heart the most was when two jocks picked me up, then stuffed me in a trashcan, head first. As everyone laughed at me I...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e19 Sharon Callaghan 37 from Newcastle

We begin with a mini-montage of life in Newcastle-upon-Tyne ... A shot of Gray’s Monument, of the busy Eldon Square shopping center, St James’ Park football stadium, before we find ourselves in a busy street, looking up at an impressive, and very modern looking 5 story glass fronted building. We can see through the glass walls, seeing the staircases and offices inside. And then, stepping into frame from the side, trying not the block the architectural masterpiece – another masterpiece of...

1 year ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS14 E13 Ruby Suddick 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a Geordie-land’s infamous night-life. Along the Quayside, teaming with young bodies as the youth of the Toon move from pub to pub, barely wearing enough to protect them from the cold northern wind. Then we’re around the corner on a street with four story buildings on either side of a wide street, with plenty of pedestrian space infront of multiple pubs and clubs. Everyone looking very relieved that the lockdown is over and the party has...

2 years ago

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The Newlins Marcie and MarkChapter 13 Stunning News for Mark

Mark was still mortified the following day and called in sick rather than face his boss, Ezra DeZam. But DeZam surprised him, and came by his motel room to see how he was and to impart some important information to him. “Listen Mark, here in Monroe, some of us play it fast and loose. We have good reason for it. Other folks have tried to fit in here ... this climate sucks. We get torrential rain followed by floods and the humidity and heat are enough to drive you crazy. Seemed like everyone...

2 years ago

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Three Guys

I had just returned from los angeles where I had been for three weeks on a job assignment. It was only natural then that I had called bill and mike, my two closest buddies to have a drink with me so we could catch up on the latest happenings. The three of us were sitting in al's bar which has been our favorite hangout since we became old enough to drink legally. It is a nice friendly place and we have spent many nights getting totally hammered in here. But al always makes sure that we get home...

3 years ago

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My Life as Isaac Newton

This character has nothing to do with the Isaac in Midnight Plush (q.v.). The idea for this story came in a dream, and that was his name in the dream, so I didn’t change it. This is the closest thing to a traditional short story I’ve submitted, and I would really like solid critique on it. Especially, did I do a good job of writing from a man’s point of view? Oh, and I guess I should state this explicitly, based on some so-called ‘feedback’ I’ve gotten on other stories: Everything I write is...

4 years ago

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Gay Newcastle Train Station Toilets

Hi lads. As normal, all my stories are true and I’ll only change names to protect identities. Don’t forget to comment after reading if you enjoyed it Happy reading guys. ***************************** Another boring day in the North East. With money to burn, me and my friend (lass) decided to get the train from Darlington through to the Metrocentre. If you’ve done this trip, you know you have to transfer at Newcastle. Newcastle station itself is a dull dreary place, loud and unexciting. But...

3 years ago

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Gay Newcastle Train Station Toilets

Hi lads.As normal, all my stories are true and I'll only change names to protect identities. Don't forget to comment after reading if you enjoyed it :)Happy reading guys.*****************************Another boring day in the North East. With money to burn, me and my friend (lass) decided to get the train from Darlington through to the Metrocentre. If you've done this trip, you know you have to transfer at Newcastle. Newcastle station itself is a dull dreary place, loud and unexciting. But there...

2 years ago

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RenewalChapter 2

“I see you were using the pods again,” Marion White, the ships First Officer, says as she enters the galley to see Regina on the deck naked. “Unauthorized use of company property for personal pleasure is not allowed you know.” Regina lifts her head from the deck and blinks away the sleep. “Why don’t you just shove it up your ass,” she sneers. Marion walks over and pulls out an egg from a pod and pops it in her mouth. “You know, I don’t know what makes you so special.” She takes a seat and...

4 years ago

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Newlywed Husband Learns the Truth

Newlywed Husband Learns the TruthLisa is a very large woman in her early twenties. She is about 5'6" and weighs about 380. She is definitely what you would call a SSBBW.John is a skinny, dorky white guy in his twenties.Pastor Lamont is in his late fifties, with gray hair and a gray goatee.John and Lisa had dated for almost two years before he proposed. They had a great relationship, but she told him she was going to wait until marriage to have sex with him. Lucky for John, she allowed him...

3 years ago

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Threes Company Scene 2

“Laura, why don’t you just eat a cunt!” Alyson blurted across the room. “You know what wench, why don’t you just eat me!” Laura retorted in the same shrill voice. “LADIES!!” Leo popped his head out of his door. “Why don’t you use your inside voices, and why don’t you cut the potty mouth talk. That really is enough.” Leo turned back into his own cage, and he slammed the door behind him. All of the women laughed in unison, even Dana, and they all got a good laugh from the tyraid. “Whore!” You...

2 years ago

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Threes Company0

When the clock moved a few minutes passed the top of the hour, her vehicle rode up the incline, onto the parking pad, and I walked toward the door to greet her she walking in the door. To my surprise, another car was coming in behind her, and I watched as she moved to the back of her car to greet the visitor. She disappeared around the corner of the house, and I hesitated for a moment with wonder of the goings on. I reached for the knob, unlatching the door, and headed toward the side of the...

3 years ago

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Threes A Crowd0

I did the best I can to contain myself for all this time. Quite often she tried to get me alone and have her way with me but I had to turn away out of respect for Carla my fiancé. This time it was different. She was a masseuse and my Carla insisted that I set up an appointment with her mother, bragging how good she was. When I came over Pam’s house (Carla’s mother) she was outback sunbathing in a string bikini beside the pool. We were alone, Carla was working. It was a hot summer...

3 years ago

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Threes A Party At The Concert In The Park

My excitement matched the general buzz on the train as it departed towards its dedicated destination, a benefit concert in Ellis Park.  We were a group of strangers on our way to the same party so everyone was bent on having fun. Clearly, the party had started early for some, as I could smell the odd whiff of alcohol.I had to work that morning, so I was traveling alone and would be meeting two friends, Mack and John at the station.  They had planned to arrive earlier so that they were there...

1 year ago

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Threes company But Four is a crowd

Hey.... (It was Brittany) "Whats up? " I know I said we would hang out tonight, and I hope you still want to, but Erin's mom just called my house and apparently some thing happened with her grandma.... She is gonna have to staying the night. "Oh...I mean, I still want to, but how are WE gonna hang out?" Call up Steve? They should be able to keep each other company... "Alright ill see what I can do" Erin and Steve met a few weeks ago at this party we were at....

2 years ago

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threesum

hi my names kate id like to share a true storie with u. i was 15 at the time going out with a older boy it was so good because it ment so much more things to do. well one night he decided to try and get me in to our local as he new the landlord. I was abit nervous because iv never met hes friends before and thought id end up showing myself up. i dressed up to go down there in my short skirt and low cut top as i always like to give the men a good view wich they did when i was on the pool table...

3 years ago

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Threes Company Part 3

I could tell that Kay was excited by the news that her friend was on her way. To be honest, so was I. The thought of tasting Maura made my re-forming cock twitch, and I was looking forward to watching the two women get it on while I watched. In a short while, there was a knock at the door. I answered, wearing nothing, giving Maura a hug and whispering in her ear, “I can’t wait to taste you.” She replied, as she gave my erection a squeeze, “This old dyke has never had a cock between her legs,...

2 years ago

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Threes Company Part 2

We waved from the door as Maura stepped into the cab, heading for her conference. I turned to Kay and said, “You really enjoy her company, don’t you?” She blushed, recalling her tryst last night with her best friend. “Yes, I do,” she replied, turning to me, her hand cupping my balls. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy yours.” Looking up into my eyes, her free hand on the back of my neck, she pulled me into a kiss. Our lips brushed, but only for a moment. Her mouth opened, her tongue licked...

3 years ago

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Threes Company

I popped into the store, instantly recognizing Kay from the numerous snapshots we had exchanged over the years. I stepped into her embrace like an old friend, giving her ear an air-kiss. We were old friends, in a sense, between the e-mails and chatroom meetings that we had entered over the years, even though this was the first face-to-face. It was a quarter to six, the store set to close, so I sat in a chair watching the last customer get checked out and head out the door. “You ready?” “Let me...

1 year ago

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Threes A Crowd

“Here’s to Sophie.” Brian raises his glass in salute to me. “And to her newly renovated flat.” “Hear, hear,” Jonathan concurs as we clink our three glasses. The bubbly tickles my nose when I sip it. “Are you so ready to get rid of me?” I tease. “Of course not, beautiful,” Brian says and envelops me in a bear hug, making my tiny frame disappear in his embrace. “We’re just happy for you, that you’re getting your apartment back,” Jonathan says, soothingly kissing my cheek. “And you won’t have to...

3 years ago

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Threes A Crowd

As the party wound down and everyone left, Rich decided he’d go out to buy a fresh pack of cigarettes. He told his girlfriend Jess and his best friend Seb that he’d be back shortly. Seb and Jess had hooked up during the summer and they they got along extremely well, sometimes better than Rich and Jess did which sometimes worried him. He'd noticed how well they’d been interacting all night long and, half-jokingly, he'd texted her “suck his dick, already!” when he caught her nuzzled up against...

3 years ago

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Threes Company Teaching is Everything

Vanna and I are what you might call sexual predators. We visit bars and clubs in search of women to seduce. We are pretty successful at this and sometimes we hit the jackpot. This is a story about such a night. We arrived at the nightclub around 9:00. It was an average place, with a bar area and tables set back and dimly lit. It was famous for being a hookup bar, just what we were looking for. Vanna and I took seats at the bar and immediately began scanning the place for possibilities. There...

2 years ago

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Threes Company

We spotted her sitting alone at the end of the bar. It was a moderately-sized place with a small dance floor and a DJ spinning light tunes. It was the kind of place where a couple could feel alone, yet had enough room for larger parties. We had been there just under one hour when she arrived. She was drinking a martini and just sitting there. No checks of her cell phone, no interaction with the other patrons, nothing. We wondered when would be the right time to break the ice. She appeared to be...

3 years ago

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Threesum with friendrsquos wife and her lover

Last year, I posted one story “Seduction of wife of Fast Friend”, which was liked by many and replied to me. This was my relation (of course with changed names) with my fast friend’s wife Priya living in Patna, which was developed through a long time seduction since her marriage to my friend and then finally on a holi, I advanced my action which lead to sex with her afterwards. I used to fuck her everytime when her husband go out on tours. My friend was on a job of sales executive in a company...

1 year ago

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threesum

hi my names kate id like to share a true storie with u.i was 15 at the time going out with a older boy it was so good because it ment so much more things to do. well one night he decided to try and get me in to our local as he new the landlord. I was abit nervous because iv never met hes friends before and thought id end up showing myself up.i dressed up to go down there in my short skirt and low cut top as i always like to give the men a good view wich they did when i was on the pool table i...

2 years ago

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Threes Definitely Not A Crowd

It was a Friday night and we'd arranged to meet friends at the local pub for a few hard earned drinks after work. When we arrived we were surprised to see how busy it was. The landlord had organised another of his Open mike nights and the 'stars' of the local area had arrived to show their skill. The night didn't get off to a great start when the friends we'd arranged to meet cancelled on us. The talent on display at the mike wasn't exactly music to our ears either. I toyed with the idea of...

2 years ago

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Threes Company

This is a story of every woman's fantasy. It basically started about 21/2 years ago.  My friend came over one afternoon to talk with me.  We had been friends for a number of years.  It started off so innocently.  We exchanged email addresses and started writing back and forth.  We did this for a few years.  Sex never entered intot the conversations.  But, my friend was a very attractive man and he literally reeked of sexuality.  It was just a matter of time before we took it to the next level....

2 years ago

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Threeview

Amy really liked the wine  ThreeviewBy Lorddare Amy really liked the wine.? Mrs. Dalton was so cool, to let her hang out and sip wine on the deck with her.? Amy had been Mrs. Denton?s daughter?s best friend, until Cindy had fallen in with an older crowd.? Amy had been hurt by that, but Mrs. Dalton seemed to understand and had been making Amy feel more than welcome in her home any time she wanted to come over.?  Amy had been coming over often.? As she slowly sipped her third glass...

3 years ago

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Threes Company All Cats Are Gray

Jack fumbled with his packages, juggling them from arm to arm as he searched for his key. He'd put it away just a few minutes ago, when he'd left the apartment. Now where was it? Ah, there it was, in his jacket. He tugged, but the key ring was snagged on something. He pulled again. Oh, great, now his hand was caught, too. He reached over with his other hand -- and remembered, just a split second too late, that he was juggling four packages his roommate Chrissy had wanted him to mail and a bag...

2 years ago

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Threes a Crowd

I tapped my fingers on the cafe table. Looking around I sip my frozen mocha. So happy I tried Dunkin Donuts. I check the time; 1457. Still glancing at my watch I hear the little chime of the door bell. Looking up I see Luke and Henry walking in, laughing as if they heard a joke. They look around and spot me when I raise my hand. Sitting down we exchange greetings and start with banal conversation. About five minutes later we get to the details of the meeting. “So?” I begin, “Where’s the pet?”...

4 years ago

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Threes a Crowd

I fell in love with Laurie because she was not available. She had made that clear from the very beginning. "I'm not looking for a relationship." Point blank, in your face, statement. "Good, me either." I could play that game too. We met at "The Hut". It was the only gay and lesbian bar in our small, college town. I was very persistent and before long, she let me into her heart. We hung out together. I slept at her house, usually on the couch, sometimes in her bed. We both slept in...

1 year ago

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Threes company

100% fiction! Im 21 years old, i have a nice ass and a very high sex drive. So does my mother. I found this out one afternoon after i was rubbing my pussy vigorously and moaning very loudly when my mom walked in. She wanted to know what all the noise was and she found out very quickly i was startled but aroused at the same time. Apparently so was she she stuck her hand in her pants and started to finger her pussy, so i thought. I asked her if she wanted help and she just took my hand and stuck...

1 year ago

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Threes Company

I was 40 years old and saw an ad in the paper from a husband and wife looking to meet with a man for a threesome. After answering the ad, I spoke with the wife on the phone. She sounded sweet. We decided to meet at a club on a Saturday night. She told me she would decide if she would want to take me home with them after seeing and meeting me. She asked that I not feel bad if she chose not to take me home. She explained that she was very picky. I described what I'd be wearing so they could pick...

4 years ago

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Threeway Calling

Introduction: my first story… enjoy! THREEWAY CALLING Amy King had just started college and a new job. She had led a very sheltered life before college, since her high school was girls-only and she didnt have much of a social life. Her father was a contractor and had done some building repairs for a group that prepared fossils and artifacts and built exhibits for museums and was able to get her an interview. Wanting to study anthropology, Amy was thrilled to have the opportunity, but was...

1 year ago

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Threeway on the Freeway

I was on Interstate 80, maybe fifteen miles East of Fairfield, CA heading towards Sacramento. Up in the high, flat country with the golden grass in the summer. It was hot, very hot, but I had my windows open enjoying my new state. At 70 half the traffic seemed to be passing me. I was heading to my sister’s house for the weekend, and in no particular rush since I was three hours early. I was dying for something to drink, maybe a Snapple, when I saw the van on the shoulder up ahead. ...

2 years ago

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Newport Naval Academy

My dick grew semi-hard even before we got out of the car.I knew I wanted to attend the Newport Naval Academy even before my father set the DeSoto's parking brake. Beyond the car window, about twenty feet away, three good-looking boys stood talking. Their tight white uniforms hugged their lithe teenage bodies rather provocatively. My parents insisted on a military type school. I was on my way to becoming a little punk and strict school discipline would "straighten" me out. Well, the "out" part...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess8e9 Meredith Caig 48 from Newport

An establishing shot of a modern looking school – all identifying signage is digitally masked for privacy reasons, but anyone familiar with the area would immediately recognize the stylized architecture of the building. And then our host steps into frame infront of the sign ... Sexy dimples, and big fake tits pushing out of the top of her sexy black PVC mini-skirted business suit, dominate the first impression. We can’t help but stare at those perfect orbs of flesh as they seem to attempt an...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10 E11 Carol Gilley 52 from Newport

Once more we fade in on our darkened ‘bedroom’ set. A rusty old metal bedframe, with headboard and footboard, plus a dirty, threadbare mattress laying on squeaky springs. There are no sheets, no blankets, and no pillows – just stains, mostly caused by our the guests who have appeared on the show this year. We pull back from these stains and turn to the side of the set – looking into the darkness of the unlit depths of the room as a figure approaches, feet clicking, or clomping, on the...

4 years ago

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Threesome With Two Unknown Guys

Ramesh is a CD whom I met on FB. At first we had normal conversation slowly we became good friends and started knowing about each other. When we come online we talk about our cross dressing etc.. After all this once we decided to meet at his place so we fixed one day and I went to his place by 10 in morning and rang the calling bell. He came and opened the door it was the first time I looked him (even though we chatted on fb but never asked for a pic). He welcomed me inside and closed the...

1 year ago

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Newlyweds A Halloween Story

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = WARNING! This warning is possibly not needed for this particular story, but I am including it because it is needed for most of my stories. If you decide to read other of my stories make sure that you read the disclosures and warnings at the beginning of each story. All of my writing is intended for adults over the age of 18 ONLY. Stories may contain strong or even extreme sexual content. All people and events depicted are fictional and any...

4 years ago

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Newlyweds A Halloween Story

 How do you explain to your fiancé that there are dark secrets – even ghosts – in your family history? And that some of those ghosts are not fully relegated to the past.It was a crisp, but not cold, end of October evening in the “middle ground” just north of Vidalia, Louisiana, when Shelly stepped out of the woods and walked across the harvested cotton patch toward a small square of grass and weeds that stuck out almost like an island into the empty field. If you looked closely at that square,...

4 years ago

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Newlyweds A Halloween Story

 How do you explain to your fiancé that there are dark secrets – even ghosts – in your family history? And that some of those ghosts are not fully relegated to the past.It was a crisp, but not cold, end of October evening in the “middle ground” just north of Vidalia, Louisiana, when Shelly stepped out of the woods and walked across the harvested cotton patch toward a small square of grass and weeds that stuck out almost like an island into the empty field. If you looked closely at that square,...

1 year ago

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• 18
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Deceived Newlyweds

Looking at the wedding invitation in his hands from his frat brother, Tyrone Milton let his thoughts drift back to the end of his junior year in college. The invitation came from Brad Wilton, the frat brother who had beaten him out of the coveted office of president of the fraternity for their senior year of college. He began to fume as he tossed the invitation off to the side of his desk. "That fucker! I owe him one!" he muttered loudly. The fraternity that Tyrone and Brad Wilson had joined,...

2 years ago

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Getting Together With New Friends Part 2 Guys

As Ian stood there, I believe admiring my naked body, I too was admiring his slack circumcised, cock. Ian and I stood facing each other, not saying a word. We both knew we were about to enjoy our first experience of intercourse together. His cock was still slack and drooping over his balls.The skin was beautifully pink and head of it was a beautifully shaped purple helmet. I moved toward him as he came to me. I put my hand around his slack cock and held it firmly.Immediately I could feel his...

3 years ago

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As a Student girl in Newcastle

This is a true account recording of an event I experienced as a girl during my student years in Newcastle England. At Uni first year, like most foreign students live in Halls, but unfortunate for myself, as a late starter was boarded in a flat, the upper attic, in a house across the river in Danmark street, Gateshead. Being a Scandinavian girl with all the typical traits associated to females of that origin, I did stand out somewhat, in a very grey looking place, habituated by equally grey...

2 years ago

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Newcastle and the age of consent

Sorry if the title is misleading, but young sex and i****tuous sex are the turn-ons for girls like myself and horny guys wanting a dirty female for fun. Of course as a girl on the legal limit, getting a man inside you is just a nod or a wink away. Drinking from a beer bottle and noticing a guy eyeing you, is fun when you give the bottle an extra push into your mouth and withdraw it with a lip sucking extraction, slow and deliberate, to get the message across that this could be your cock and...

1 year ago

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Newcastle and the age of consent

Sorry if the title is misleading, but young sex and i****tuous sex are the turn-ons for girls like myself and horny guys wanting a dirty female for fun.Of course as a girl on the legal limit, getting a man inside you is just a nod or a wink away.Drinking from a beer bottle and noticing a guy eyeing you, is fun when you give the bottle an extra push into your mouth and withdraw it with a lip sucking extraction, slow and deliberate, to get the message across that this could be your cock and what...

2 years ago

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• 14
• 0

As a Student girl in Newcastle

This is a true account recording of an event I experienced as a girl during my student years in Newcastle England.At Uni first year, like most foreign students live in Halls, but unfortunate for myself, as a late starter was boarded in a flat, the upper attic, in a house across the river in Danmark street, Gateshead.Being a Scandinavian girl with all the typical traits associated to females of that origin, I did stand out somewhat, in a very grey looking place, habituated by equally grey...

3 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10E08 Sophia Brayson 35 from Luton and Gina Howey 31 from Newcastle

We fade in on our regular set – the rusty old bedstead, with the ratty stained mattress, set on a concrete floor in the middle of a dark studio, harshly lit from above by a single spotlight. The bed looks a little different to previous times we’ve seen it, because one end (the foot-end), and its legs, have been removed, leaving a sloping bedframe and mattress. There’s no explanation for the missing ‘footer’ from the bed. There’s a brief pause – then we hear footsteps approaching. Heels...

2 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriesS10E17 Ashley Mathews 29 from Newcastle Northern Ireland

This week’s show begins with that same old rusty bedstead, and that same old dirty mattress. Pausing to take in the magnificent filthiness of it, then pulling back to reveal the bare concrete floor around it, and to take in the harsh lighting. And then we hear our guest of the week approaching, quick little footsteps ... Light clicks on the studio floor. We pan round to see what we’ve got this week and see a slight, pale, small-boobed lady walking in quick, short strides ... She’s not is a...

4 years ago

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The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary seriess12e07 Cora Toney 25 from Newcastle

We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...