Life Changing Handyman free porn video

3 years ago

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Giving up to a black handyman

That morning my loving hubby called me from our laundry room and he asked who owned that pair of boxers and a shirt hanging there in a rope. Victor said was sure the items did not belong to him.But then I told him those clothes were from Jamal, our black handyman, the one specialized in home improvement, currently painting our house; one room at a time.When I got closer to him, Victor grabbed me from behind and he slid a hand inside my jeans and rubbed my pussy lips over my thong.He smiled and...

4 years ago

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Handyman

Roger a fifty-four years old widower lives in the southern part of the USA. He stood about five-foot five, has average weight, black hair, brown eyes, and a muscular build. He doesn’t consider himself handsome, or someone women would find attractive. So he doesn’t have an interested in looking for someone, or dating. He spends his week like the average man, working, taking care of his home and son. While shopping at the local market one Friday he met and has become friends with an older woman...

3 years ago

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Bikini Beach The Handyman

Bikini Beach: The Handyman Elrod W "Damn!" The old woman cursed again as she slammed the phone down. A shapely young woman looked up sharply at the noise and the curse. "What is it, grandma?" The old woman mouthed an even more profane curse, then sighed. "Those idiots want seven hundred dollars to fix the pump! And they can't do it until next Thursday." She glanced out the one tiny window of her office, gazing for a few moments at the artificial mountain and the water...

4 years ago

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Jennie and the Handyman

Her glancing at the paper that early Tuesday, second cup of coffee in hand, was what finally moved Jennie Allen to do something about her ‘old house.’ It wasn’t exactly that she had ‘let it go’, as people tend to say. It’s just that she normally never thought about having things done. Old habits died hard, she was aware of that. The whole realm of dealing with house items, and needs was one of her Andy’s main pleasures. She thought of the many, many times that she would scold him about...

4 years ago

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The Handyman

I was always incredibly shy. At twenty-one, I had missed out on more encounters that I could care to mention. I was sure that if a shrink got hold of me he would find the deep-seated reason for my affliction, but I was simply not willing to venture into the realms of psychological claptrap.Regrettably, however, my introversion was mostly misconstrued as aloofness. Even though I was above average-looking, most guys simply did not have the time or patience to try and break through my reserved...

4 years ago

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The Handyman

This true account of events all started when I went back to school at age25, at night to become a Graphic Designer. After I had been in school fora little over a year, and my beginner classes were behind me, the classesfor this new quarter started getting tougher. I found that crunchingnumbers all day, trying to go to school 4 nights a week, and the evergrowing homework projects, were getting harder to complete on time and toconsistently produce the standard of work I required of myself to...

3 years ago

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Teenage Handyman

My name's Spike. Well, actually my given name is Percy, but no one should call me that to my face unless he wants a fight on his hands. My parents named me that in the hopes of pleasing a rich uncle of the same name who might leave them some money when he died. Well, he died, but he didn't leave any of us a dime. My parents divorced over Dad's drinking and being without work besides. My mom had to apply for welfare and she, my sister and I moved into one of these cheap one-bedroom...

3 years ago

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Handyman

Johnstr Mark had worked in construction since he was a child. His father ran a construction company and Mark had been his helper as he grew up. After his father died, Mark went to work for himself. His mother died a few years after his father. He was in his mid 30s now and was on the road. He had lived in a town that had one major employer. The town had done well until the plant closed. One by one in a domino effect, stores closed. Jobs disappeared and the town folded up. There were more...

2 years ago

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Handyman

Handyman Susanna says: - How many of those builders and handymen have we all looked at when they come around and repair or replace bits in and around our houses have we looked at and yearned for this situation to develop. This is one of those 'what if' stories as far as I am concerned, but there have been one or two builders recently who I swear would've been well up for it, if I had the confidence to take the next public step! Anthony looked at the clock and realised that he...

4 years ago

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Handyman

Roger a fifty-four years old widower lives in the southern part of the USA. He stood about five-foot five, has average weight, black hair, brown eyes, and a muscular build. He doesn't consider himself handsome, or someone women would find attractive. So he doesn't have an interested in looking for someone, or dating. He spends his week like the average man, working, taking care of his home and son. While shopping at the local market one Friday he met and has become friends with an older woman...

3 years ago

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I get hired as handyman

What does a reasonably active professional man of 60, full head of hair and reasonably libido do when made redundant? In my case it was a case of being realistic and finding any job that pays the bills. So when I saw this ad for a mature concierge porter/handyman, I thought why not?’ After submitting the application I was invited to be interviewed by the ‘property management committee’. As I entered the old upmarket Edwardian mansion block in the suburbs I was met by a smartly dressed lady but...

2 years ago

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The Handyman

In the small country town where I live, all the husbands work and some of the wives use my skills as a handyman. I work the graveyard shift at the lime plant, so I’m always available during the day to help with whatever they need. You’d be surprised how much help they need with their plumbing. I’m a lab tech at the plant. My job is not very demanding. I make several trips from the lab to the kiln where the limestone is baked to take samples of the finished lime for testing. Some nights I mix...

2 years ago

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2 girls and a horny handyman

so there i was working at these lesbeins house fixing the sink when i sat up to grab a wrench.1 of them must not have releised i was there as she walked in compleatly naked stright up to her girlfreind and kissed her,just the sight of this gave my cock a little tingle.when she releised i was there she didnt cover up walked stright up to me and said wow thats a big tool u have whats it for without thinking i said if u 2 werent lesbo wud show u.to my surpprise she says that there not they bi and...

2 years ago

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The Handyman

In the small country town where I live, all the husbands work and some of the wives use my skills as a handyman. I work the graveyard shift at the lime plant, so I'm always available during the day to help with whatever they need. You'd be surprised how much help they need with their plumbing. I'm a lab tech at the plant. My job is not very demanding. I make several trips from the lab to the kiln where the limestone is baked to take samples of the finished lime for testing. Some nights I mix...

4 years ago

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I Was a Handyman

I was busy at work when I got a page for a phone call. When I answered, it was Kathleen saying, "Oh Trev, sorry to bother you at work but I need some help." I aked her what the touble was, ans she said, "My damn garage door is stuck closed, and I need to to be downtown for an appointment - can you run over and rescue me?" I laughed and told her I would take my lunch break and be there in fifteen minutes. "Oh, thank you - you are a dear," she said.I hadn't had any female contact for some time,...

4 years ago

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2 girls and a horny handyman

so there i was working at these lesbeins house fixing the sink when i sat up to grab a wrench.1 of them must not have releised i was there as she walked in compleatly naked stright up to her girlfreind and kissed her,just the sight of this gave my cock a little tingle.when she releised i was there she didnt cover up walked stright up to me and said wow thats a big tool u have whats it for without thinking i said if u 2 werent lesbo wud show u.to my surpprise she says that there not they bi and...

2 years ago

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The college handyman

George jumped up as the walkie-talkie on his right hip began admitting a loud and incoherent sound. The words were vague but he was experienced enough to know that the person on the other line was giving him his next assignment. It had been a little over a year now since he started working as an all around handyman for Brightsdale college in his new home town and still he felt a little out of place. He was 21 years old so all the students were around his age. It had lead to some strange looks...

4 years ago

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The Handyman

I hired a local handyman to help with repairs to the barn. Larry came out to see what he needed to repair. I introduced myself and Marie, my wife. All he could do was stare and stammer when he saw her large breasts. She was wearing a low cut see thru blouse with no bra. Her breast are triple E’s with large nipples. She loves to show them off at special times. As we walked out to the barn, I kidded him about staring at her breast, he said his wife had large nipples ,but small tits. He...

2 years ago

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The Handyman

Soraia and Amy usually got together about three times a week, ever since they both moved to France to "follow their dream." They would update each other's love lives, catch up with the local news and gossip, and eventually, admit that neither one of them was any closer to tracking down the cunning Jean Val Jean. This meeting took place on an unusually warm mid-July afternoon. Amy showed up a bit late at Soraia's secluded villa, but she made up for it by bringing an extra bottle of...

3 years ago

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The College Handyman

George jumped up as the walkie-talkie on his right hip began admitting a loud and incoherent sound. The words were vague but he was experienced enough to know that the person on the other line was giving him his next assignment. It had been a little over a year now since he started working as an all around handyman for Brightsdale college, but still he felt a little out of place. He was 21 years old so all the students were around his age. It had lead to some strange looks and judgemental eyes...

4 years ago

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Using the Handyman

Even though Em had lived on her own for about a year, she still knew nothing about plumbing and house repair. Her shower wasn’t working and although she had called her landlord almost a week ago, it was still broken. He had promised to send his son, the building manager, by Friday but it was now Tuesday. Em had resorted to showering at friends' and her boyfriend’s place. But this morning she had woken up late for work, in serious need of a shower. She remembered a friend who loved taking “bird...

4 years ago

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Handyman

Roger a fifty-four years old widower lives in the southern part of the USA. He stood about five-foot five, has average weight, black hair, brown eyes, and a muscular build. He doesn’t consider himself handsome, or someone women would find attractive. So he doesn’t have an interested in looking for someone, or dating. He spends his week like the average man, working, taking care of his home and son. While shopping at the local market one Friday he met and has become friends with an older woman...

4 years ago

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The Handyman

It was as if a prayer had been answered when Carla heard the doorbell ring and found a workman standing on the doorstep when she answered. “Sal at number seven said you needed a plumber,” he told her. “I was round there fixing her dishwasher.” Sal was a neighbour and she had sounded off to her in the supermarket the day before about Jo, her husband, blocking her sink up. She looked him up and down. He seemed genuine enough. He was wearing work clothes and carrying a tool bag. She spotted his...

2 years ago

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Wife fucks a client and the black office handyman

Jane was at work the very next day after her encounter with Kenny, the firm’s new ‘handy man’. She was to meet with a client at a new property he had purchased and was planning to rent out. Jane was there to advise on prospective income and fees and had arranged for Kenny to be there to put up a ‘for lease’ board and see to any other works of improvement that could be done to better market the property.Now Jane had told me before that the client was a good looking chap in his mid-thirties but...

2 years ago

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Dee Maple Mr Bob the dirty Handyman

Once in about two weeks i had a special private training in coach Mato offices, he praise me as a superb athlete - but you all know what he praised - my naked body and godlike ass. And he butchered my ass every time, we had about 2 hours and he kept me trained like a bitch and i obeyed every command, but after couple of times he became soft on me, my guess he started to fall for me, he craved me more and more and his power appeal started to diminish, i didn’t want him to kiss me and make sweet...

2 years ago

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handyman

A True storyI work as a handy man and get to meet lots of people doing lots of diffident jobsI have to tell you about a lady i work for, she calls me up once a month to do little jobs around her home, she is a lot older than me she must be in her late sixties but really looks after herself, i had been working for her for about a year when one day i had just finished a job and mentioned i had to leave early to go home to clean up as i was meeting my daughter later. She asked me if i wanted a...

3 years ago

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Teasing the Handyman

"We've painted it three times, put a few layers of a good primer on it, and it still shows through," she explained as we stood in her living room.I'm a contractor, specializing in remodeling older homes. This normally wasn't what I do, but it seemed like an easy job. Her kid had written on a section of the dining room wall using a black permanent marker. The wall was painted white, and the marker kept showing through the paint. It was a simple job of replacing half a wall of drywall and then...

2 years ago

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Handyman

Jackson Davis lived in a trailer in the woods east of Smyrna, Tennessee on the banks of Stewart Creek. He was proud to be a redneck. He was barely literate, far from hygienic, and his only close relationship was with Jack Daniels. He enjoyed drinking, Nascar, pro-wrestling, and porno. Statistically speaking, he was more likely than most to be abducted by aliens. Nevertheless, it still came as quite a shock when the big glowing sphere bathed his pickup with an eerie green light as he drove home...

3 years ago

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One Day at a Time Im Your Handyman

Schneider slipped his master key into the apartment door and walked in, calling out, "Ms. Romano!" He figured no one was home -- not that he ever knocked -- but it was too early for her to be home from work or the girls to be home from school. Shouldering his pipe wrench like a rifle, the scruffy jack-of-all-trades crossed the living room and turned down the hallway to the bathroom, where, Ann Romano had reported, a pipe under the sink was leaking slowly. He passed by the bedroom doors but...

1 year ago

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The Handyman

INTRODUCTION This story is pure fantasy. The spelling uses English Oxford Spelling in most cases and is not spelling mistakes. Although I have in some cases used American spellings by courtesy of my spell check. Chapter 1 By Sirdar Tony Nash stood looking disconsolately out of the office window from the first floor office of the investment bank, where he worked in the City of London. It was just a few moments before trading started, and the markets opened for business. He gazed down into the...

1 year ago

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FetLife

Want to get kinky at Fet Life? Never before have fetishes and kinks been as popular as they are today. I don’t know if it is because the invention of the internet has led to a greater level of transparency and communication when it comes to peoples’ deepest sexual desires or if it is because we are just becoming more open and accepting as a society. Or maybe it is something else altogether. Whatever the reason, more and more people are embracing their kinks, and it is a beautiful thing to...

4 years ago

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Lifeboat Introduction

This is not the story of how my mother, my sister, and I escaped that catastrophe, of how the starliner Pegasus II tried to escape the disaster into FTL only to be destroyed by debris, of our flight to and rendezvous at the lifeboats, of the 24-person lifeboat jettisoning with just the three of us aboard. There are at least a dozen such accounts from the 87 survivors from the Peg, and most, to be honest, are more compelling. This is not the story of the first tumultuous hours after the...

2 years ago

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Lifeboat Chapter 1

Mom and Dad had been planning to renew their vows that very evening, and Mom had arrived at the lifeboat directly from the station where she had been shopping and getting made up for the ceremony. She was already in her white dress, tight around her torso to accentuate her remarkable figure but flowing in the skirt to give her an ethereal look. She wore white stockings underneath, the lacy tops barely visible where the skirt had ridden up. Like the rest of us, she was shoeless, probably...

2 years ago

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Lifeboat

PART 1 Them fuckin’ Armed Services get all the credit, but who gets their asses blown out of the water to get them their crap, for chrissake? Us fuckers in the Merchant Marine, that’s who. Goddamn sub-bait. And then they don’t send nobody to fish us out. Goddamn Krauts. Goddamn war! Cookie bobbed in his lifejacket and watched his ship disappear, a sorry excuse for a vessel, to be sure, but nonetheless, his ship. Sailors deep-six all the time, the risk they signed on for, perhaps. Bad luck,...

4 years ago

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Life Changing Fortune 8211 Part 2

First of all thank you everyone for suggestion for my previous story. This story is the part of my previous story “My Life Changing Fortune”. Those who don’t know about me I am Virat but everyone calls me Andy(nick name). I live in Delhi and doing MBA 2nd year. Basically I am from Surat. I live with my long distance cousin bhaiya(Rahul) in his 3 storage house. I stand 5’11” tall with a fair skin. I am a football player. So i have a great physic. My tool is about 7.5 inch tall with a thickness...

4 years ago

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Life Changing Road Trip

Stacy and I had finished all the paperwork.  Renting a motor home for two weeks took a lot of signing and agreeing.  It was late July and we were heading north where we didn't have a plan or care.  We were looking forward to a fun adventure in the southwest.  The vehicle was big;  a nice bedroom in the back with a queen-size bed, a dresser and a TV.  Then forward of the bedroom was a fairly nice bathroom with a shower that looked like it could hold two people... which I was hoping it would...

4 years ago

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Lifeguard Blows His Mate and Me

Last night I went to the pool late and ended up having a threesome in the showers.Usually, I go to the pool during the day.  It feels warmer, I get some work on my speedo tan, and in the middle of the day, the pool is generally quiet.  Yesterday (Friday) I was busy with work all day and time just got away from me.  The pool closes at nine pm and just before eight pm, I decided to go for a late-night swim.  I really wanted to get out of the house and had nothing else planned.The pool was quiet...

4 years ago

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Life Changing Road Trip Part III The End

Rick had just left to go hang out with my wife Stacy at the creek. I was in the motor home making dinner.  Five minutes earlier, I just had my mouth around Rick's enormous cock.  I sucked him until he came in my mouth and on my face.  As he stepped out of the RV to go see Stacy, he casually told me to make dinner.  I'm not sure who I hated more at that moment, Rick, for telling me to suck his cock and then make him dinner, or me, for sucking him and now standing here making dinner for Stacy,...

2 years ago

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Life changing crime Part 1

Hello everyone! I will tell you a story that changed my life. It happend about an year ago, I was 21 years old, young man with dreams, nice family and a bright future. Everything was going perfecty. In fact my whole life until that moment was going perfectly.One day a friend of mine called me. He needed money to pay his semester in university. The money his parents gave him I was sure he lost gambling, but he was my friend so I wanted to help him. When we met I had the money to give him but he...

2 years ago

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Life Changing Encounter

My name is Tony and I want to relate my story about a recent change in my sexual attitudes and preferences. When I was small my parents were divorced and my father never came back to visit me or even write a letter so I grew up with my working single mom. During most of my life I was heterosexual. When I was twelve I came by some Playboy magazines, given to me by a friend, that displayed impossibly beautiful women in various suggestive positions. I had not had an orgasm yet but during the last...

4 years ago

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Life Changing Mail From A Bully

Chauhan june 24(5 hrs ago) to me Hey my dear little friend,how are you??Its been lonely for days without you,i nearly forgot how a sissy looks like…Oops,sorry for the language and to this mail too because this will be the end of it all.No more humiliating stuff, no more ragging,and no more punches, and certainly no more hardcore mouth fucks,ok??Because I got a better mouth than yours,all this ends in this mail,but its still in your hands on how “this thing”goes from here… Well,to be frank I got...

2 years ago

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Life Changing Road Trip II

The kitchen table that turned into a pull-out bed was not very comfortable.  But, as daylight slowly rose over the hills to the east of us, the comfort of a pull-out bed was far from my main concern.  As I sat up, the horrifying reality of last night came flooding back into my mind.  What began so wonderfully as a road trip vacation for Stacy and I had turned into an unforeseen life changing situation.  I looked down the hall towards the bedroom door.  It was closed.  It was so quiet.  The air...

3 years ago

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A Life Everchanging I

"Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away..." -- The Beatles A Life Ever Changing By Angel Once upon a time, long, long ago... ...A 16 year old boy fresh and innocent in the ways of the world... needed a full time job close to home. It just so happened that a nursing home stood just down the street from his house. His mother (full of wisdom and wishing to still hold the reins) instructed her son in just what to...wear, say, walk, talk and anything else she could...

3 years ago

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A Life Everchanging 2 Get a Job

"Get a job, Sha na na na..." -- The Silhouettes A Life Ever Changing #2 By Angel ...After all the introductions were done (a long hour or more) the DON took me back to her office. Wow, what an office! It was very impressive to say the least. Large room with AC! Wall to wall carpeting with one of those Indian throw rugs in the middle of the floor. Big shiny wooden desk and a chair that looked imposing as heck! Funny how 'her" chair was higher than the one I was to be sitting...

3 years ago

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A Life Everchanging 3 To Show I Care

"Eight days a week is not enough to show I care..." -- The Beatles A Life Ever Changing #3 By Angel Then I heard the worst thing any young man, oops, I mean, "young boy" can hear! She informed my mom that it would be no problem and that she would take me herself to get the uniforms. (OH FRIPSY!!!) She then told my mom that she would drop me off at home when we were through and was looking forward to meeting her. The look on my face must have been one of those Kodak...

1 year ago

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ChangingRooms

Reddit ChangingRooms, aka r/ChangingRooms! We all love to see women wearing realign clothes or whatever the fuck, and that is why there are loads of subreddits dedicated just for that basically. Well, r/ChangingRooms is one of them, as here you basically get to see chicks in changing rooms… changing to lewd outfits, taking pictures or videos, and posting them for everyone to enjoy. Ain’t these sluts nice?I am sure we have all wondered what the fuck do women do for so fucking long when they go...

4 years ago

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Lifeguard At A Nudist Camp

Lifeguard At A Nudist Camp I could not believe it when I got hired as a lifeguard at a nudist camp. Interestingly I had to wear trunks that identified me as the lifeguard, while everyone else was naked. The job came with food and lodging. I saw women from babies through teenagers, adults, and old ladies. I saw breasts from nonexistent to drooping to their waists. I saw guys too but tried not to look at their cocks, even so I saw some real monsters. I saw all sorts of scars from...

3 years ago

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Changing for Gym

Changing for Gym By Xoop Hill Street High School was built in the early 1990's in response to the town's recent growth. Too, the old school was a remnant of the 1920's, and looked it. The town had eventually given in to the inevitable and voted in a new school. The new building had everything. As befitted area weather, it was totally enclosed (except for the athletic's fields, of course). Yet its public areas never felt claustrophobic, for it relied a great deal on glass. The...

2 years ago

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Docs Complex 04 Fun With Changing Machines

Doc's Complex 04 - Fun With Changing Machines by Lee Most Copyright 2012 by Lee Most -------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 4 - Fun With Changing Machines In the auditorium, a beautiful woman raised her hand and spoke up. Doc admired her voluptuous figure as he listened to her protest. She wore the standard scientist's white coat as it had been redesigned to his specifications. That meant that it required no underwear underneath it, unless she...

3 years ago

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Lifes Strange Turns Part 1

Introduction: First, let me introduce myself…the author. I am a 37 year old divorced career woman, no kids. I am in a serious hetero relationship with an interesting sex life…pretty creative, with role playing and outdoor encounters being the most exciting. I have been lurking here for a few weeks, reading all the hot, sexy stories members have posted. I thought Id try my hand at writing and keep it busy and away from my coochie for a change. Im going to try telling this story as a male, to...

2 years ago

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Life Changing Moment Part 8211 3

Hi, guys, I’m back with my final Part, people can read my 1st and 2nd part named Life Changing Moment. Let’s begin with the final part where I enjoyed my cousin Manjula. Our families don’t talk much and we just meet up at occasional times. But we both had other things in our mind. We had enjoyed everything other than sex. She was nice chubby and busy girl. Once we decided that we have to end our desire for each other. The day came where there was so function in mothers home in Vellore District...

3 years ago

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The Changing

The Conversation Tom Phills raced toward the Beacher house. Since his mother passed away, Tom had spent almost all his free time there. That had been almost two years ago. Ms. Beacher's son, Jason, had become a friend when it had happened and now the two were near-inseparable. Aside from that, the Beacher house was a place where Tom could relax after school. A welcoming place for him to do whatever, watch television or do his homework. Sometimes Jason wasn't even home and...

4 years ago

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Changing For Gym Fitting In

This is light little story inspired by Xoop's 'Changing for Gym' at Big Closet. It could be considered a sequel of sorts, but is actually more of a stand alone story set in the same place. I do make use of Xoop's setting, and a few of his characters (School officials, Jessica Woodruff(in a supporting kind of role) and of course, Hill Street High School. I have also, quite shamelessly, taken Xoop's intro verbatim just to maintain continuity, with apologies to the original author. But...

2 years ago

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Life Changing Your Plans Ch 02

It had been a week since Jennifer had been fired from her work and word spread of her indiscretion that got her expelled from school, and now fired. She hadn’t been out of the house and hadn’t seen much of the downstairs or living room in that time either. We had talked, but neither brought up the kiss. We smiled, but seemed to move like two objects orbiting each other. Afraid that any contact would forever change our paths around the sun. It was a Thursday evening when I arrived home from...

4 years ago

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Lifes Strange Turns Part 3

Introduction: Best read the stories in sequence! Lifes Strange Turns, Part 3 Monday and Tuesday came and went, with nothing exciting happening, except that Sandy called to say that she had gotten a nice offer on the house from a couple about 30. Her kids were back from their Dads, so she couldnt come over, but wanted to. Id gone to the gym after work Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and chatted with a pretty woman in the my age bracket that was interesting and had no rings or other evidence of...

2 years ago

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Lifeguard 2

From the Lifeguard 1 Story:I woke up sometime later with my spent mother on my chest snoring peacefully, my now soft penis still in her anus. My mother was smaller than me, so her weight wasn’t an issue, it’s just that I really needed to pee. So I started trying to wriggle out from her embrace. When I did she stirred. She said, “Don’t move.”She slowly pulled herself off of my penis, did a quick spin where her asshole was in front of my face, and said, “Eat it out.” Before I could even form a...

4 years ago

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Changing At AG Jeans

I live near an Adriano Goldschmeid Jeans store - just one block away - and I buy all of my jeans there. The jeans and pants fit very nicely, and I know a lot of the staff, who are are all very nice and friendly. Some are even a little flirty - both the gay or bisexual men working there, and the women. Admittedly, I love the attention.A week ago, I went in with my wife to try on some jeans. While she tried on tops, I began trying on a seemingly endless series of jeans and casual pants,...

3 years ago

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The Changing Room Strange Relationship Version X

Caitlin’s log: Sunday, 10 a.m. I’m lying in bed with a terrible, nagging ache. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’d gone ten rounds with a Cabernet Sauvignon, but you’d be wrong. The ache was spiritual rather than physical, the apocalyptic realisation that for the third night running I’d lain awake for hours before falling asl**p, contemplating all manner of things related to re-igniting my sex life. See? That’s what I keep doing, dressing the issue up in euphemisms – “re-igniting my sex life”,...