Diana my Workmate
- 4 years ago
- 35
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Making It Work Ch. 08 free porn video
There’s something about a phenomenal movie combined with a beautiful song that makes your insides clench. I took the chance and saw ‘The Great Gatsby.’ It’s a book that I read in high school and I loved it so much that I refused to watch the film. Somehow Michelle talked me into going with her to the cinema and I heard one of the most riveting songs that have had me bawling my eyes out while staring at photos of David and me: ‘Young and Beautiful.’ I’m not a Lana Del Rey fan, I find her quite depressing though she does possess talent. But when I heard that song, my heart stilled. It reawakened the ache inside of me that habitually called David’s name. So here I am, instead of spending the rest of my time with my family and friends, I’m eating a pint of cookie dough ice cream, flipping through my photo albums, and wiping away errant tears that flow.
My flight for England leaves in two days, everything is packed and ready except my emotions. Right now they’re wishing they could be in Washington with David. Fuck this shit. I’m calling him and if he agrees, I’ll go and see him. I reach for my cellphone and decide to ixnay it. I want to see him, to read his face and his reaction when I put my proposition forward. With frozen, shaky fingers I boot my computer and wait for Skype to automatically sign me in. He’s online! I click on his name and listen as the call goes through. He answers.
Ananda: ‘David, I—hello.’
Leleti: ‘Oh, hello Ananda, how are you?’
Ananda: ‘I’m fine.’ I wasn’t expecting his girlfriend to answer the call. This is awkward. We stare at each other in silence for several minutes. Is she expecting me to say something? I should, shouldn’t I since I called?
Leleti: ‘So…’
Ananda: ‘May I speak to David?’
Leleti: ‘Actually he’s in the shower right now. We’re about to head out.’
Ananda: ‘Oh okay.’
Leleti: ‘I could keep you company until he gets out.’
Ananda: ‘No—um, actually I’m kind of tired. I don’t even know why I called him.’
Leleti: ‘Would you like me to take a message?’
Ananda: ‘No, no thank you. Have a good night.’
She barely has the time to say goodbye before I disconnect the call and turn off my computer. I feel ridiculous. I expected him to be home alone not with his beautiful woman. It serves me right for assuming that I’m still the center of his universe. I can see what he sees in her though. She’s beautiful, she looks smart, and most likely she’s funny with a little spunk and no attitude. She’s just what he needs to move on.
In a sense I feel like Gatsby—minus the illegal money and mansion—waiting on my lover to realize how much I love him, willing to sacrifice my very soul just to have a moment with him again, waiting like a moron for him to turn around and love me even for a little while. I’m rather pathetic, aren’t I? What happened to me? Where did I go? Where has Ananda gone and who is this wretched individual she has left behind in a shell of her existence?
I really can’t take this anymore. I’m starting to feel as if I’m suffocating, as if someone is holding a pillow against my face or smothering me with a plastic bag and I’m too weak to fight against the pressure. This ordeal with David is literally draining the life out of me yet I can’t leave him alone. I’m a sucker for punishment.
Ouch, my chest feels so tight and my heart is pounding out of my chest. I should probably take my medicine. My doctor prescribed me with pills he advised me to take for moments like these, but instead I curl up on my bed with a quilt draped over my balled up body in spite of the hot summer night. I let the pain sink in and wonder if there’ll be a day when I stop feeling like shit. Why am I still the only one suffering?
*******
That shower was amazing. After spending the entire day swamped in paperwork, I’m starting to feel human again. I have Leleti waiting out in the living room to grab a bite to eat. We’ve officially made Thursday our hangout nights. Even after all this time Fridays are uniquely reserved for Ana. I brush my hair out of my face and frown, I usually keep it long, but never past the shoulders. It makes me feel like a wannabe model or playboy. I need to get it cut. I open my bathroom door to find Leleti lying on my bed. I don’t mind that she’s made herself at home, I feel as if we’re close enough for her to do just that, but I still feel awkward having a towel for the only barrier between us. This doesn’t feel right to me.
David: ‘You should go home if you’re tired.’
Leleti: ‘I’m not sleeping.’
David: ‘I never said that you were. What are you doing on my bed? Should I be concerned about my virtue?’ [pulls towel tighter around waist].
Leleti: [sits up in bed and eyes David’s body] ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.’
David: ‘Funny’
Leleti: ‘That’s cute.’
David: ‘What?’
Leleti: ‘That squinty eye thing you just did in the name of sarcasm. You should do it more often—yup, there it is again.’
David: [still squinting eyes] ‘Yeah, whatever. How about you leave so that I can get dressed?’
Leleti: ‘Why don’t you just do it like how we do? We keep the towel on and get dressed over it.’
David: [folds arms across chest] ‘I’m not a woman.’
Leleti: ‘Fine, I guess you don’t want to know the important information I have for you…’ [strolls towards the bedroom door].
David: ‘What?’
Leleti: [turns around with a small smile on her face] ‘Ananda called.’
David: ‘What? You answered my phone?’
Leleti: ‘No, I’m not that crazy. She called you on Skype and I picked up. I’m sorry, but I figured you’d want to talk to her. She hung up before you came out of the shower.’
Ana called? On Skype? Why was I in the shower? The fact that she called me is a big step in our mending relationship.
David: ‘What did she say? Did she ask about me? Did she look healthy? Was she—’
Leleti: ‘Whoa there, Bessie, slow down. I would be highly offended if it wasn’t so endearing. She looks amazing, but a little tired.’
David: ‘How come you didn’t call me?’
Leleti: ‘She told me not to. I guess she didn’t want to bother you. I’m sorry.’
David: [exhales a deep breath] ‘No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be attacking you right now. I’ll just call her back.’
I wanted to Skype with her and see her face to face, to know that she was doing well, sleeping well, eating well. She’s no longer online which is highly disappointing for me. I call her cellphone and there’s no response. If she’s sleeping, she’s already out for the night.
David: ‘Hey, Ana, it’s me, David. Leti told me that you called. I just…wanted to…um. Just call me back when you get this message. I hope that all is well.’
I’ll call her tomorrow.
My night with Leleti is…long. I’m taking it that she’s figured out that my attention is elsewhere. I really want to talk to Ana. I want to know the reason why she called.
Leleti: ‘David, I’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes and you haven’t been listening to a word I’ve said. If you’re not having a good time, we can call it a night.’
David: ‘Shit, Leti, I’m sorry. I’m being a prick.’
Leleti: ‘You’re thinking about Ananda, aren’t you?’
David: ‘Yup.’
Leleti: ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
David: ‘No thanks.’
We’ve been wandering around the city for some time now and all I recall is how quiet the city seems right now. Maybe it has to do with the chaos in my mind or perhaps it’s because I’m restless.
Leleti: ‘You know, David, if you want to move on, you’re going to have to start letting go. Even if you’re not interested in me, there are plenty of other women out there willing to give an arm and a leg to have a date with you.’
David: ‘If I have to listen to another one of these talks—’
Leleti: ‘You’ll come to your senses and move on. For all you know,
Ananda could very well be in a relationship.’
David: ‘She is in another relationship.’ Ouch. Admitting that out loud felt like a blow to the stomach.
Leleti: ‘Then what are you waiting for?’ [Places a hand on his arm to stop his walking] ‘I’m standing right here in front of you asking you for a chance. I can give you everything that you’ll ever desire. Take a chance on me.’
David: [clears throat in discomfort] ‘Leleti.’
Leleti: ‘You don’t have to give me your response right now. I won’t pressure you and I’ll give you the time to make up your own mind. I’ll wait for you.’
I don’t need time to think about it. I already know what I want—or should I say who I want. I’m not willing to settle for anything else. It may have taken me a while to get to this conclusion, but I’m never going to deviate from it. I remain silent because I don’t want to expound on the many reasons why I don’t want to be with Leleti. She’ll want to sit down and dissect every single word I say and I’m not in the mood to have a heart to heart.
David: ‘Let’s just go roller skating before the rink gets packed.’
I’m assuming that she takes my change in subject as a positive response because she’s smiling from ear to ear. We spend a couple of hours reenacting our teenage years as we skate to Motown and classic R&B. Leleti doesn’t rehash the subject of us dating for the remainder of the night and I’m quite relieved. We make it to our respective homes and I fall face first onto the bed. My fingers reach for my phone and I push Ana’s speed dial. The hour isn’t too late to give her a ring and I hope that she’s really not asleep yet.
She doesn’t answer. I want to hear her voice. I really miss her. I don’t know when she leaves, I know that it’s soon however, but if it’s not too late, I’ll hop on the next flight and see her. Forget it, I’m tired of playing it by the book and I’m definitely tired of keeping my distance. I get up off of my bed and look for my passport. By the time I ask myself what I’m doing, I’m already at the airport. I buy the first ticket out of Washington to South Carolina. I fidget throughout the entire flight wondering what I’m going to say to Ana. My brain is too wired to sleep. I’m glad when I’m finally off the plane. I rent a car and eat up the miles, well aware that I am speeding and that I should be careful.
It’s early morning when I arrive at Ananda’s apartment. I restrain myself from pounding on her door and knock respectfully. I patiently wait only to be disappointed. She’s not home. I call her phone just in case yet there’s still no response. I wait a few more minutes before calling it quits and heading to Tommy’s house.
Tommy: ‘David, what the heck are you doing here?’
David: ‘Long story. Will you let me in, I’m beat.’ He steps aside to give me entrance, but I can see the question in his eyes. He followed me like a loyal dog until I caved and confessed that I came spontaneously to see Ana.
Tommy: ‘Are you serious? You finally got off of your ass to see Ana?’
David: ‘Tommy, don’t start. She’s not home anyway.’
Tommy: ‘Yeah because she’s about to leave for Europe. She stayed at her parents’ house since her flight is today.’
David: ‘What?’
Tommy: ‘Yeah. We gave her a going away party last night and then she went home with them.’
David: ‘Is she still there?’
Tommy: [looks at the clock] ‘It’s already ten o’clock now. She might be boarding the plane by now.’
I can’t believe this. This is bullshit! Why is this happening? The only international airport is located in Charlotte, NC—the same damn airport I drove two hours to get from to come home. I’m getting upset. I feel like breaking something right now.
Tommy: ‘Calm down man.’
David: ‘I am calm.’
Tommy: ‘Seriously, you look like you’re about to tear up my shit.’
David: [heaves a sigh] ‘What should I do?’
Tommy: ‘There’s not much that you can do unless you’re Superman and you can travel faster than a speeding bullet. If you had called me—or anyone—and asked, I would have told you what you needed to know.’
David: ‘Do you really think that I thought this through? All I know is that I wanted to see her and I got on the first plane out of Washington. Sue me for not using my brain for once!’
Tommy: ‘Okay, stop worrying.’
David: [pacing to and fro] ‘I’m not worrying. I’m starting to realize that everything happens for a reason.’
Tommy: [sits on his couch after a big yawn] ‘That’s what failure sounds like…’
David: ‘Then what the hell am I supposed to do! You’ve been riding my back to come see her and the minute I make up my mind to do just that she’s on her fucking way out of the country! By the time I get back to the airport, she’ll be gone.’
Tommy: ‘Okay, I’m sorry. Look, we can call her parents and ask them if—’
David: ‘Forget it. I need to get some sleep.’
Tommy: ‘David, she’s going to come back. There’s always Jason and Michelle’s engagement party and I don’t think that she’ll miss it for the world. If you want to, I’ll handle things in Washington and you can always go after her.’
David: ‘No, she’s leaving for a reason. I’ll call her when I can. Is this discussion over or will I have to sleep on the plane?’
Tommy: ‘I get it. We’ll drop it. Let me set up the guest bedroom.’
David: ‘No, don’t bother yourself. Just grab me a pillow and a blanket and I’ll sleep on the couch.’
I’m physically and mentally exhausted right now. I have a fitful slumber. I wake up more drained than when I went to sleep. I hang out briefly with the guys and visit my dad before I stop by the Lewis’s to have a chat. I avoid any discussion concerning Ana and before the evening ends I’m back on the next flight to Washington. I reenter my apartment and drag my feet to my bedroom. It feels empty. I feel empty.
‘It took you long enough to get here.’
‘Ana, what are you doing here?’
‘What? Just because it’s finals doesn’t mean that I’m going to hide away in my room studying.’
‘Isn’t that what you usually do?’
‘David, do you want me here or not? Why are you looking at me like that?’
‘Because you’re beautiful. Get over here and get naked.’
‘I’ll take that as you want me here.’
‘I’ve been thinking about you all day. Are you going to get over here or not?’
‘If you ask nicely, I just might.’
‘Ananda, will you please get your sexy ass over here? You’re driving me crazy.’
‘You’re actually adorable when you’re being a good boy.’
‘Shut up and kiss me.’
‘David! Is that how you ask?’
‘Ana…’
‘Why don’t you strip first?’
‘Well then, since we’re making requests…’
‘Okay, but just know that I’m going to make you work for it.’
‘Yes ma’am.’
‘Don’t smile at me like that. This isn’t fun and games, Mr. Romero. It’s time to study some anatomy.’
‘Yes, Ms. Lewis. Whatever you say, Ms. Lewis.’
‘Good because that’s what I like to hear. Now, tell me you love me.’
‘I love you, baby. Get over here.’
I wake up reaching for Ana in my sleep filled haze. Of course she’s not there, but I need her to be. In spite of the international rates, I want to call Ananda to make sure that she’s made it to Europe safely. I reconsider for the moment out of consideration. Perhaps she’ll be jet lagged. She’ll need her rest and I don’t want to disturb her too much.
My mind keeps demanding an explanation for why she called me the night before. What did she want to talk about? I realize that she was busy celebrating and probably wasn’t paying attention to her phone, therefore I won’t fault her. But she has got to see the amount of times that I called back. I’ll have to be patient—just as patient as she’s been with me over the years. I won’t rush her, however, I’ve made up in my mind that I’m ready to be with Ana, if she’ll take me back.
I want to be there for her and give her time to be ready to love me again. If it means that I have to wait months or years, I’ll do it. Ananda is the only woman I can envision myself with. Perhaps from the outside, you guys are thinking that I’m not even trying to see what’s out there. Let’s not be skeptical. I don’t open up to just anyone, so you haven’t heard of my previous exploits…and you never will. I’m definitely not trying to make myself appear to be innocent. I’ve done my share of dirt and I’ve received a lot of it, but at the end of the day your heart knows what it wants and no one can convince me otherwise.
You’re probably asking me, what about Leleti? I’ve already told her where we stand. Perhaps, she’s not ready or willing to accept what I’ve said. Nevertheless, my decision has been made. I’ll try to put some distance between us to ensure that she understands everything. I value Leleti’s friendship a lot. She is a kind, charming, intelligent person, but I just can’t see myself falling in love with her. I know with every fiber in my being that Ananda is my soul mate.
I just have to remind myself to be patient. Very patient.
******
I am so tired. It was probably a bad idea to wander around London after an almost eight hour flight not to mention that my phone is dead. I should have went straight to my hotel, charge it, sleep, and then contact my parents and friends. Instead I decided to see a few sights and got lost for a few hours. Thank God that each street corner housed a map or I would have been sleeping outside tonight. Why didn’t I just hail a cab? I’m too darn stubborn.
David always told me that my stubbornness would one day do me in. Why did I just think about him? Perhaps it’s guilt that has called him back to attention. I ignored his phone call after the Skype incident. I was confused and, yes, I’m ashamed to admit this, but I was also angry. I had screwed up, forgetting for an instant that David isn’t mine anymore. Knowing about his girlfriend is one thing, but seeing her is a completely different subject.
I didn’t expect her to be so nice and jovial. Her smile was blinding. For the first time in a very long time—since junior high— I felt insecure. So, yeah, I ignored David’s call and spent way too long thinking about what they would talk about, whether he had fallen in love with her, whether they had already made love…
I couldn’t take it. I directed all of my energy to my going away party and putting on a brave face for my family and friends. I’ve never traveled outside of the U.S. I was nervous, yet I refused to let them see my agitation. I pretty much ignored my poor phone for the remainder of the night and focused on making new happy memories. From the way we all celebrated, one would think that I was moving to Timbuktu or something. Afterwards, I went back to my parents’ place and hung out with the family until we were forced to go to bed out of fear that I might miss my flight.
I thought about David the entire trip. I thought about that fateful call. Just seconds before I was ready to go to him. Even now, here, lying on my hotel bed in exhaustion, I’m still ready. Does that make me a bad person? It probably does. Still, I guess that I should do the right thing and call him back.
I reach for my phone and turn it on now that the big green battery symbol is shining up at me. I’m shocked to see how many missed calls I have from my parents, from Caroline, and definitely from David. I become worried, nonetheless, I leave his phone call for last. Butterflies are in my belly just thinking about what he has to say to me. I call my parents, my friends, the damn gendarmerie to tell everybody that I’m completely okay. The only thing I had to deal with was jetlag and exhaustion. I talk myself into taking a relaxing shower and finally gain enough nerves to call David. My heart is pounding out of my chest as the phone rings.
What am I supposed to say to him? How should I explain why I refused to answer his phone calls? What if he’s with her? I hate to say her, but I can’t remember her name.
‘Hello?’
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