Diana my Workmate
- 4 years ago
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Making It Work Ch. 05 free porn video
Sorry everyone, I started my internship and I have even less time than before to write. I’ve had this chapter almost completed for a month now and I’ve finally found the opportunity to finish it. Enjoy.
Cassandra
*******
I counted down the hours to David’s departure. It was hell knowing that I might never see him again yet I couldn’t see him off properly. I’m so angry and hurt. At least now I can say that I have closure. He decided to let it go and I willingly let him instead of fighting for us. I know that we can be good together. Still I can’t deny that most of his words rung clearly with truth. A part of me knows that if we didn’t work this time, I would hate the both of us. I would blame myself and I would definitely blame him.
I officially give up. I’m washing my hands of it and leaving it in God’s hands. If David and I are meant to be together, we’ll find a way. If not we’ve had our good run and it’s time to give someone else a try.
A part of me wondered if he thought that I was using Murphy to make him jealous. I wasn’t. How in the world was I supposed to know that David and the fellas would be there much less that Jason’s fiancée was the owner and operator of the nightclub? I knew they were having a boys night out, but I never asked where. If I had known that we would have met up, I would have used foresight and asked ahead of time to avoid the awkwardness. It was purely coincidental that David was there. When Jason had informed me of his presence, I almost shat bricks. I wanted to drag Murphy out of the door as quickly as possible so that David wouldn’t see us. In the end I stood there faking a smile and introducing him to my date. That’s not the way I envisioned the two of them meeting.
For the rest of the night I felt awkward, but for Murphy’s sake I pretended that everything was well. I was torn. A part of me wanted to continue getting to know Murphy and the other part of me that’s deeply in love with David told me to get away from him. But how would that have looked to the poor guy: one minute we’re vibing and hitting it off and the next I’m giving him the cold shoulder and acting brand new? I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do that.
After that night Murphy and I had an honest discussion about what occurred and I told him the truth about my complicated situation with David. He asked me if there were still deep feelings and I abdicated that yes, my sentiments towards David were very profound however I felt that he and I still had a chance in spite of what transpired between David and me that night. I assured him that I wasn’t toying with his feelings and that I never would. I also told him that if he felt as if he was taking a risk with me, we should stop where we were before our budding relationship became too intense.
Murphy accepted my apology and we’ve continued seeing each other. I’m stopping by his job today before having lunch with Michelle. We really hit it off and I can say that she’s the girlfriend that I’ve been looking for. She doesn’t hide her opinion. If she doesn’t like something, you’ll know right off of the bat. Her honesty is just what Jason needs after frequenting shady women during the majority of our college and post college years. At first I thought that his engagement was a bit hasty, but I can see that they’re good for each other.
I dress casually since technically I’m still on medical leave for another week therefore I’ll be lazying about for the rest of the day. I descend the steps to find my parents in the garden. They’ve been politely avoiding me since David’s departure. I appreciate them giving me my space and I guess they felt that I needed it after I bawled my eyes out for two days straight afterwards.
‘Where are you off to?’
My mother is planting perennials. She has soil all over her hands and I know that she’ll be complaining later tonight about the amount of dirt under her nails, but she’ll do it with a smile. Concerning the family bakery, it’s coming along nice and slow which is good because if people started popping up out of the woodwork wanting to sign contracts, I would get paranoid and wonder if they’re trying to rip off my parents.
Ananda: ‘I’m going to give Murphy a visit at work then grab a bite to eat with Michelle.’
She dusts the earth from her soiled hands and sits up on her knees. She’s scrutinizing me like a mother uncertain if she should allow her daughter to leave the house with short shorts on.
Ananda: ‘What?’ I’m starting to feel self-conscious under her inspection. Is there a stain on my dress or something? Is it too short? What’s wrong? Do I smell?
Stacy: ‘You look beautiful, sweetheart. How are you feeling? Have you taken your medicine?’
Ananda: ‘Whoa, Mom, slow down. You’re shooting those questions at me faster than I can reply.’ [giggles] She rolls her eyes and smiles at me. ‘Thank you for the compliment, yes I’m feeling absolutely fabulous,’ I say and do a spin to show her my ensemble. ‘And I have already taken my medication because I know that if I don’t you’ll ride me until I do.’
Stacy: ‘Smart alack. It’s good to see you out and about instead of moping around. You should have went to the airport with us—’
Ananda: ‘Mother!!!’
Stacy: She waves at me and gets back to digging. ‘Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Go on before I make you late with my yapping.’
I take her advice, gladly scurrying away from her David commentary. Even I know that I should have said goodbye to him in person. Anyway, I don’t feel like thinking about him. The day is still early and I have a lot on my plate. I drive to Murphy’s office and waited patiently in the reception area for him to see me. He’s in one of his snazzy outfits, three piece as usual and he makes it look so damn good. I must admit that he’s great eye candy.
Murphy: ‘Hello gorgeous, I’m surprised that you dropped by.’
Ananda: I smile while leaning in for a kiss on the lips but land on his firm cheek. ‘Well, I was in the neighborhood and I wanted to see you AND to ask if you had plans for tonight. I was thinking that we could have dinner together at the new Japanese restaurant on Two Notch.’
He’s looking about his office as if he’s worried he’ll be chastised for fraternizing with his girlfriend while on the clock. One thing about Murphy that will take some getting used to is his dislike of PDA. He’s a very private, conservative person which is different for me—not that my life is an open book or anything. It’s just that I’ve never dated someone like Murphy.
Murphy: ‘That’s fantastic, sweetheart, but couldn’t you have called me ahead of time? I have a lot of work to do and I don’t like being interrupted.’
Well damn!
Ananda: ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I assumed and made an ass out of you and me. I figured that since we discussed me visiting you once that it would be okay to drop in. You’re right though, I should have called and told you that I was on my way.’
I feel like a child having to excuse myself like this. In a way it borderlines groveling in my mind. My mood is bummed. At first I was excited to see him and now I’m ready for that lunch date with Michelle.
Murphy: ‘No, I’m taking things out of proportion. About dinner—’
Ananda: ‘Actually, don’t worry about tonight. I forgot that I made plans with my folks.’ That’s a damn lie, but my pride is slightly blistered. I’ll go ahead and take my parents to dinner so that I won’t be seen as a liar.
Murphy: ‘What?’
I nod my head ‘remorsefully’ and shrug my shoulders. I however maintain eye contact because I know that avoiding it is a telltale sign that one is lying.
Ananda: ‘We’ll reschedule for next time. I should get going. I’m having lunch with Michelle.’ I kiss him once more on the cheek and turn to leave, turning back to face him when his hand touches my elbow.
Murphy: ‘How about you come over my place and we watch a movie together after you finish having dinner with your folks?’
Ananda: ‘That would be great. Send me the directions and I’ll be over afterwards.’ I wave goodbye and exit his office. What an embarrassment. I got all dolled up only to get shot down. At least I’m learning from my mistake and will take the necessary precautions for the next attempt.
I avoid making eye contact with his secretary who has witnessed our entire exchange. She’s looking at me sympathetically and I shrug my eyebrows in response. I make it back to my car and snatch the door open. Seriously, what was I thinking going to his job and expecting him to welcome me with open arms?
[Slams door shut] I’m such a loser. I take the interstate to get downtown meeting Michelle at Outback Steak House like we agreed upon a few nights ago. I’m earlier than expected since Murphy kind of shot down my advances. I expected to be inside of his office, sitting on his desk, and chatting away for several minutes before kissing him goodbye and coming here. Instead I was shamed. I don’t know why Murphy’s rejection hurts my pride so much, but I’m feeling as if I’m at a very low place right now. I guess I need someone to show me a little attention so that I’d feel beautiful and wanted. We all have days like that, men and women included.
‘Hey Ananda, how long have you been here?’
Ananda: [Jumps in surprise] ‘Michelle, how long have you been here?’ She must be a ninja because I didn’t even see her walk up to me. Why haven’t I found us a waiter? I’m really out of it. I’ve been standing in front of the restaurant’s door for the past fifteen minutes waiting.
Michelle: ‘I just arrived.’
Michelle gives me a bright smile that quickens my spirits. She’s so tiny I have to fight the urge to bundle her in a hug and lift her off of her feet.
Michelle: ‘I know what you’re thinking.’
Ananda: [Giggles] ‘I can’t help it. You look so adorable. How tall are you again?’ The look on her face is hilarious, but I fight my bubbling laughter. We enter the restaurant together and are immediately seated at a table for two.
Michelle: ‘How’ve you been?’
Ananda: [roll eyes in exasperation] ‘You and Jason, and everyone on the planet have been asking me that. Do I look to be in distress?’ I fumble with the table setting to avoid eye contact. Sometimes I get the feeling that Michelle can see right through me.
Michelle: ‘If you’d only answer us truthfully, we’d stop asking. We all know that you miss David. You two are so stubborn.’
Ananda: ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ We’re briefly interrupted by our waiter taking our drink and meal orders. Michelle asks for appetizers and we watch him trot away before continuing our conversation.
Michelle: ‘It means that Jason and I have been in constant contact with David and you’re drowning deeper in denial than he is.’
Ananda: [Head snaps up] ‘You’ve spoken to David?’
She nods her head. I feel like shit. I didn’t want to believe that he was serious when he told me not to contact him. I took his advice out of fear of him telling me off and slamming the phone down in my ear. I figured that after a couple days, or even weeks, he would be the one to make first contact. It’s been two weeks since his departure and I’ve yet to hear anything from him.
Michelle: ‘I’m sorry.’
Ananda: ‘What’s there to be sorry about?’
Michelle: ‘I know that it’s none of my business since I’m an outsider, but Jason told me about what happened between you two.’
What?! How could he do something like that? It wasn’t his business to tell. I can’t believe that Jason would do that to me—to us!
Michelle: ‘I’m sorry, but I thought it was strange that David was so nonchalant at your absence and I was pissed and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind when Jason said it was complicated. I know that it wasn’t his place, but after you didn’t show up at the airport I sort of nagged him until he spilled the beans. I’m really—’
Ananda: [waves hand] ‘It’s fine. It’s not as if our history is some big mystery. You would have found out either way.’ The appetizers and drinks arrive and I make myself eat, my hunger has been stayed from our heavy discussion. I can feel the anxiety seeping back inside of me. I don’t want to think about how much it hurts to be abandoned by him, but, damn it, it hurts so badly.
Michelle: ‘Ana, I’m terribly sorry, please don’t cry.’
Cry? Am I crying? I touch my face, moisture taints my fingers. I take a deep breath and shake my head pathetically. I thought that I would be able to control my emotions a little bit better by now. The truth is that I’m worried. I don’t know if he’s doing well, if he’s eating, if he’s making friends—if he’s lonely like I am. I’m angry with him for leaving even though I understand why he felt as if he had to. It’s just not fair.
Ananda: ‘It’s okay, I’m okay. Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault.’ There’s a heavy silence infiltrating our atmosphere that neither of us really knows how to break. Eventually, Michelle finds a way.
Michelle: ‘We’re going to see him next month—Jason and I. You should come along.’
Ananda: [snorts and shakes head in refusal] ‘David would send my ass back in first class. When he makes up his mind, not even the devil can change it. This—whatever is happening between us right now—should have taken place long ago. It just hurts to go through losing him all over again. I have to forget all of the emotions that we invested in each other. I have to forget about how close we used to be: how we used to have sleep overs in my backyard on pretend camping trips, how we used to play pranks on my older brothers when they were making out with their girlfriends, everything.’
Michelle: [gently takes Ana’s hand] ‘You don’t have to forget every single thing, do you?’
Ananda: [shrugs helplessly] ‘If I don’t I won’t stop loving him. This isn’t something that happened over night, Michelle. I’ve been in love with David from the very beginning. I might have been too young to understand what I was experiencing, but maturity has rectified that. He was my first love—my first everything. How do you let that go without ripping out a part of you? How do I make this easier on myself?’
I hate myself for the ache that I’m putting my heart through. I haven’t truly contemplated the meaning of David’s departure. I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to break. I feel as if I’m crumbling into pieces. In a sense, the currently tense situation between David and me reminds me of the aftermath of our miscarriage. I’m losing him all over again and there’s nothing that I can do to hold on to him. There’s no longer a connecting factor between us to establish a bond. He has broken it, completely destroyed all of my efforts to love him.
Michelle: ‘A broken heart is never easy to mend, but you’ll gather that with time it heals itself. I can’t empathize with you because I’ve never been in your shoes. Yes, I’ve loved and lost, but never to your extent. I do however sympathize with your feelings. You’re lost and uncertain, searching for stability that’s difficult to ascertain, trying to redefine yourself and who you are—it’s difficult, but you’ll open your eyes one day and realize that you’ve made it all on your own.’
Would it be weird to tell her that I love her because that’s how I really feel? I’m in love with this woman—in a purely platonic, why-have-I-never-found-a-true-female-best-friend-like-you kind of way.
Michelle: ‘I can tell you to stop crying all I want to in an effort to appease my emotional anguish that witnessing your distress is submitting me to, however I also feel that you should cry and cry like hell. I think you should scream and let it all out. Don’t bottle that shit up. It’ll be like poison and you will start hating yourself and everyone around you. Get it out and then you will finally start to heal.’
Ananda: ‘You’re right, thank you, Michelle.’ She made me see that I don’t have to force myself to forget every asp
ect of our history. I only have to learn to do what I didn’t in the beginning: loving him as a friend. ‘Anyway, enough about me and my drama. We should eat these cheese sticks before they get frozen.’
Michelle: [giggles] ‘Yeah, that shit was heavy. I almost bursted into tears. So how are things with you and the new beau?’
Please don’t get me started. I almost didn’t tell her, but it feels good to express a little intimacy with someone other than with a group of guys who will snort, grunt, then give opinions that I don’t really care for.
Ananda: [sighs] ‘I completely embarrassed myself today.’
Michelle: ‘How?’
Ananda: [rolls eyes] I found myself attempting to surprise him with a visit and a dinner proposition, but wound up with chastisement.’
Michelle: ‘Ouch! My pride would have been blistered.’
Ananda: ‘Believe me it was. I ended up telling him that I forgot I had dinner plans with my parents and that I would call him.’
Michelle: [chortles with laughter] ‘You liar.’
I’m laughing too because I’m still somewhat embarrassed even though the self-righteous part of me feels justified. I love that I don’t have to hide who I am with Michelle. She accepts me for everything even my faults and that feels good.
Ananda: [groans] ‘I know, HOWEVER in my defense I plan to take my parents out for a long overdue dinner. They’ve been taking care of me since I’ve been on rest and I want to thank them.’
Michelle: ‘Where are you taking them?’
Ananda: ‘California Dreaming.’
Michelle: ‘Nice, I heard that they have great seafood dishes there.’
Ananda: ‘Really? That’s great because none of us has ever been and my parents are obsessed with seafood.’
Michelle: ‘All’s well that ends well.’
Ananda: ‘Speaking of ending well, Murphy did sort of gain some points—after publicly embarrassing me—by inviting me over after dinner for a movie.’
Michelle: ‘Oh shucks, someone is trying to get laid.’
Ananda: ‘What?!’ I nearly spit out my drink and I guffaw with laughter. It never crossed my mind that Murphy would want a little nooky. We barely kiss and for the most part we hold hands and cuddle. I’m not complaining though because he told me that he wanted to take things slowly. I just don’t see him pouncing on me in the near future. ‘I don’t think so. He’s harmless.’
Michelle [snorts] ‘Ana, Murphy is a man and what do men do when they see a beautiful woman? They fantasize about her. And if that beautiful woman is his, he’ll jump deep inside of that punani.’
Ananda: ‘Punani?’
Michelle: ‘Sorry, my mom is Irish-Jamaican. She speaks a lot of patois.’
That’s pretty sweet. I’ve never known a West Indian before—or at least someone with West Indian heritage. I want to make stereotypical demands like most Americans: Speak Jamaican! Hahahaha. I know full well that the national language is patois and the spoken language is English so I won’t be that ignorant. I’m still curious though.
Michelle: ‘Mi no wan fi do dis, but yo make it difficult wit di way yo ah look pun mi.’
Ananda [laughing hysterically] ‘I freaking love you!’
Michelle: [rolls her eyes and waves Ananda away] ‘That’s what they all say before asking me if I grew up smoking ganja. Not all Jamaicans smoke weed, yes, we love the Dance Hall but we don’t all bust out with Dance Hall moves in the night club, and no, we’re not crazy—unless you hurt our family or disrespect us. Otherwise, Jamaicans are awesome people. I mean, just look at Bolt, Blake, and Warren. Enough said.’
Ananda: ‘So cocky! I like it. You don’t have to worry about me asking you ignorant questions, I’m mature and wise enough to differentiate between what I see on television and what I know in reality.’
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