Genital Switching Device free porn video

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Just like the lower mammals, rats and dogs, the chimpanzees first action after the transformation was to explore and masturbate their new genitalia. They did this until orgasm. Both sexes would perform this within 20 minutes of the switch. Then just like the other subjects, they sought out sexual partners. If there were no partners to be had, they continued to masturbate. Even the new ‘females’ that were not or could not be in estres would seek out sexual partners. After 2-3 hours, the subjects fall unconscious, and the new genitals would revert to the original configuration. This went on indefinitely. A test subject can go through the process multiple times without side effects. I have now finished over 2500 individual test of the device on mice, dogs, and chimps.

Post mortem examinations, as well a live vivisection of show zero side effects and zero lasting damaging. Internally Behaviorally, there was a side effect. All tested subjects showed a greater tolerance, and even ‘kindness’ to other animals of the opposite gender. This seemed to last a lifetime.

After 10 years of successful testing, with zero side effects, I feel I am ready to test on humans. I am ready to put myself in the device, however, I know that I need someone here to monitor me.

I call an old friend from school. She agrees to come to my lab to see what I have going one.

Beth is like a female version of me. All science, all the time. Oddly we look a lot alike too. One time in school we masturbated in front of each other. We did it out of curiosity and it was stimulating, but we had to finish theses and classes to get out PHDs so it only happened once.

‘Hi Beth, Good to see you” I say as I answer the door.

‘Hi Alan’ she responds, and we both awkwardly look at each other. Do we hug, kiss or what. She reaches in and give me a quick hug, which I respond to. ‘What is going on in your lab?’

‘How about we get some lunch first? I have a lot to show you, but I really need to explain it before I show you’

‘You mean a date?’ she asks. Smiles and laughs

‘Yes a date with science’ I say.

We sit down and order. While waiting I explain:

‘Remember near the end of grad school Prof. McMillian brought up the research of Dr. Klamus? How he was disgraced for his radical theory of genital morphology? Well, I started to research him as a hobby, and studied his notes. He did not have the technology we have, nor the precise control of sonic, light, magnetic and electrical energies.’

‘You did it?’ she asks with enthusiasm,

‘Sort of.’ Just then our food arrives

We start to chow down, and I hand her my phone with the video of the latest chimp test. The actual transformation can’t be seen because of the energies involved, however, she can clearly see what was a male chimp now has female genitalia.

She stops mid bite - 'Permanent?’ she asks

‘No for about 2 hours, then it reverts, with no side effects. I have tested it over 2500 times.’ I answer

‘On humans?’ She asks

‘Not yet, I am going to be the first test, but I need someone to monitor. You are the best choice’ I tell her

We finish lunch, pay the bill and start to walk back.

‘Like now?’ she asks

‘I hope so’ I answer.

She smiles ‘I didn’t think I would be part of a nobel prize today,’ she says.

We go down to the lab and I show her my notes and explain the situation

‘From what I have seen, usually the subject first examines the different genitalia, and then either masturbates or finds a sexual partner. In all cases, no matter the gender, after 2 hours, the subject fall unconscious and then is reverted back’ I explain

‘And you think that is what you will do?’ she asks

‘I am not sure, I think the drive and the brain will demand attention to the new genitalia. I hope human’s intellect will override the urge. However, as a safeguard, once I go in the door will stay locked for 2 hours. In case of emergency, I have a glass breaker that will shatter the wall I am behind.

‘OK all this equipment I am familiar with except for the GSD, and that is your baby.’ I will be happy to monitor.

I make sure all the cameras are running, and I go into the test chamber.

Once I get in, I start to undress, and then I realize that the only woman I even came close to having sex with was watching me. I pause and look at her.

She smiles ‘I have seen it before.’ she says with a laugh, ‘Go ahead it is science’

Trying to be professional, I undress the rest of the way with my back turned to her. I also have developed an erection, knowing she was watching me. I pause again.

‘It is normal to have an erection Alan, You can trust me. Are you still a virgin?’ she asks

‘Yes …...are…..you?’’ I ask as I turn around and look at her.

Her eyes shoot right down to my hardon. ‘Ummmm no I had a boyfriend for a few months, but we broke up a year ago’ her eyes are still on my cock, which is making me harder.

‘Ohh well, that makes one of us.’ And I do my fake nerd laugh. I move into position, at the back wall in a blue square. ‘You need to push the green, the red button to activate the device’

‘OK but first,,, uhhh how should I put this? Shouldn’t you take a semen sample before and after transformation for analysis?’ she asks quietly.

Shit… Why didn’t I think of that. She is right, I did it for all of my test subjects before and after. I really need to check for human change. I know what I must do, and I am turned on by the idea.

‘Yea, I should have thought of that, behind you to the left, sample cups, put one through please. She grabs one, and looks away from me, blushing. I saw her do this once before. She walks over the the passthrough door, and puts in the container.

I take it, and say ‘I’ll collect over there’ Pointing to the wall I’ll try and be discreet’ I tell her.

‘Hey’ I hear her say as I am walking to the back. ‘I look a little different now down there, I’ll show you if you collect over here’ she almost can’t say the words. I turn and face her right across from the glass.

‘OK’ I say while holding my dick in one hand and the specimen cup in the other. She looks me in the eye, as she starts to lift up her long skirt. In a flash her panties are off. I start to stroke myself. She lifts up her dress to reveal she is completely shaved. I see that and start to pump my hand fast. ‘Wow, Beth, That’s very… hot’ I say as I start to stroke, my eyes never leaving her bare pussy. She opens her legs wider, and pushes her hips forward so I can get a better view.

‘I did it for him once, and I really like it this way, it is much cleaner and feels good too.’ she answers.

She makes no move to touch herself, only showing me her pussy, but I do see the lips are swelling, and I see a hint of moisture. At this point, the pleasure I am feeling starts to take over, and I really jerk it. I stop and laugh ‘Forgot to open the cup’ I tell her, she laughs a little too, She turns around and shows me her ass, while looking behind at me.

I get the cap off and start to jerk off again. She does have a nice small ass. ‘Does this help?’ she asks,

‘Oh yes it does, I am going to cum soon’ I say.

She turns around and comes right to the glass, as my dick starts to shoot into the collection cup. I try my best to to keep it in her view.

I moan ‘Oh Beth’ without thinking about it as the last few pulses go through me.

She lowers her dress ‘That was stimulating’ she says.

‘It was for me, as I close the top of the cup, and put it in the passthough. ‘Can you put that in the specimen cold storage please.’ I ask. As I wipe up any semen that was on my dick. She watches me do that.

‘Her hand slowly reaches through as just as she grabs it she pulls back ‘It is still warm’ she exclaims. She then takes the cup writes ’before test’ on it and puts in the proper place.

She comes back to the window smiling. ‘OK ready?’ she asks

‘I am now’ I say

I go to the back wall, stand in the spot, I see her push the buttons and there is a flash of light.

My head is spinning, and then it is all clear. Then I feel a strange sensation from my dick. As I reach down, I remember what just happened. I stop my hand, even though my body is screaming for me to touch myself. I see Beth outside the window, her mouth wide open, and she jumps, ‘YOU DID IT’

I turn and look in the mirror, and I see me, but with one difference, I no longer have a dick and balls, but I see a tuff a hair, I go closer to the mirror, and I see pussy lips under the hair between my legs.

I can’t hold back any more, and my hand goes down, As soon as I reach the Mons Pubis, it starts to feel wonderful. My hand goes further down, and I feel the start of the clitioral hood. My finger brush that, and my hips push forward. I run my finger all the way through my new pussy to where the entrance is, and push a finger in a little bit. It feels so wonderful, and I am wet. I start to slowly slide my finger up and down my new pussy. It feels nothing like my dick, but I feel wonderful all over my torso. My mind snaps back into reality. I then get on the table across from the main camera. I slowly open my legs, to reveal my pussy to the camera. I then use both hands to hold it open for the camera so there is no doubt that I now have different genitals that a few minutes ago. Holding myself open like that is also a turnon and I feel even wetter down there. It is not uncomfortable, but nice. I go back to rubbing my pussy slowly, enjoying it.

‘UMMM Guess you can’t stop?’ I hear Beth say.

‘It feels so good’ I tell her, ‘I don’t want to, my brain is not used to this.’ and my fingers continue to go up and down my slit. As I start to circle my new clit I let out a small moan. It is a manly moan, not a girly one.

Beth gets the chair from behind thes, and sits right in front of the glass, she lifts her dress again, and shows me her bare pussy. ‘Here rub it like this’ she suggests, while rubbing her clit hood, and pinching it a little.

I do my best to copy her, ‘Ohh thats nice’ I say.

She then leans back and pushes two fingers into herself. ‘OHHHH’ she moans.

I also do it, and I practically drip wetness onto the table, It feels so good. I start to pump my fingers in and out. She does to, and with her other hand rubs her clit. I do the same thing.

It feels better and better, we are both moaning, and then….I feel it through my whole body… It centers from my pussy, waves of pleasure wash over me. My whole body trembles, as I have my first female orgasm. ‘Keep doing it’ and further moaning ‘Cum again you can do it’ I look over and Beth is still fingering herself. I keep going and shortly, I am hit by another strong orgasm. I think Beth has one at the same time as well because her breath is in gasps.

We both call down, and she starts to giggle.

‘What is so funny?’I ask her

‘I am the first person in history to watch someone orgasm as a male and a female.” she laughs

‘I am the first person in history to orgasm as a male and female. “ I answer. ‘That was incredible, such pleasure, such feelings. My hand never leaves my pussy, as I slowly stoke it, feeling my lips, my clit, my vaginal opening. That feels incredible as my fingers go in and rub the inner walls. Beth has let down her dress, and I see her lick her fingers. It is a huge turnon to me, and my fingers find my clit again, and I orgasm once more.

Now fully satisfied, I look at the clock, I should have another hour before the effect ends.

I take my fingers to my mouth and slowly stick them in. I smell the definite smell of a women, something I never experienced, but I know is what a pussy should smell like. There is little taste on my fingers. Beth looks wide eyed into the test chamber.

‘OK I think I calmed down now’ I say and rise to my feet. I walk back to the camera, and pose in all different angles so it is clear. After this, I take some blood samples, as well as a vaginal swab. That still feels great.

I look at the clock and I have a few minutes left.

I start to feel really tired, and I make my way to the table. I fall asleep once I lay down. I wake up and my hand quickly reaches down, and I feel my hard cock.

I hear Beth laugh ‘It happened when you were still sleeping, right after transformation. At least it will be easy to get the after sample, and she pushes another cup through.

In truth, I am really turned on, and get the cup. I ask ‘Can you show me your ass again?’ I ask as I stroke myself.

‘Sure’ she responds, and bends over right in front of me.

It does not take long, and I start to cum quickly. She turns around and gets on her knees eye level with my cumming dick.

‘Ohhhh’ she moans, as I cum into a cup. She is still staring at my dick, and I hold it getting the last drops into the cup. I again wipe myself clean, and just then the door unlocks.

I go to the back and get my clothes, and get dressed, we are both very quiet.

I come out of the tet chamber and shut off the video. She looks at me, ‘I love watching men cum. You were the first one I saw in person, and from that time,I love watching it.’

‘Thank you for helping me’ I respond ‘Your pussy and ass are so hot.’

She walks up to me, and hugs me, giving me a deep kiss’ ‘Please fuck me, I need it, and then cum on my face!’ She says

My dick immediately gets hard again. I kiss her.

We make out way up stairs, she walks in front of me, lifting her dress, so I can see her ass, as we climb the steps. We make it as far as the couch, and she takes off her top, and bra. I never noticed due to the type of clothes she wore, but she has nice b cup tits, still firm, her dress comes off too, as I am struggling to get undressed, and I have a very pretty naked woman in front of me lying on the couch with her legs spread. I dive forward, and push my dick into her. She adjusts so I slide right in her wet pussy. I am in heaven. I never felt the warm wetness of a hot woman before. It is amazing as I pull back let my animal side take over and start to thrust into her. Each push down, she pushes back up. I feel her pussy grip me hard as she has an cums, and holds me tight. ‘Oh yes fuck me Alan, I wanted this for years’ I keep thusting in her. If I haven been spend (both as a man and a woman) I would have never lasted this long, but I keep fucking her. She starts grunting. I pull out completely, and she sighs, ‘Turn around’ I tell her, and she gets on all fours in front of me. I thrust in from behind, and am welcomed with different kinds of pleasure on my dick. She is moaning again fast. Seeing her ass right in front of me, knowing I am finally having sex starts to drive me over the edge.

‘I’m gunna cum.’ I announce.

She turns around and with her eyes even with my dick starts to jerk me off on her face. I can’t hold back, and start to cum. She keeps jerking me as two large shots come out of me and the rest kinda dribbles. She keeps jerking me, until I sigh and slump down.

Her face is covered in my cum. She licks it off.

‘That was awesome!! I’ve wanted you from the time I first saw you cum.’ she coos, as she comes up and kisses me. ‘Tomorrow I want to be test subject number 2’ she say and kisses me on the nose.

End of part one.

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Sam's POV:I have been with boys and girls. I think I do prefer girls to boys... they know what other girls like, where they want it, and how much they want it. Whilst dating, girls have a little more sensitivity than guys do. There's only one girl I'd like to try, seeing as I've tried out the other ones at Ridgeway High... that's my best friend.Carly Shay. The prettiest girl by far, and of course, she has a boyfriend currently. And why wouldn't she? She's hot. I mean, drop-dead gorgeous.And I...

3 years ago
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Boyfriend Or Switching Teams

Sam's POV:I have been with boys and girls. I think I do prefer girls to boys... they know what other girls like, where they want it, and how much they want it. Whilst dating, girls have a little more sensitivity than guys do. There's only one girl I'd like to try, seeing as I've tried out the other ones at Ridgeway High... that's my best friend.Carly Shay. The prettiest girl by far, and of course, she has a boyfriend currently. And why wouldn't she? She's hot. I mean, drop-dead gorgeous.And I...

3 years ago
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Stacy and the Wired Devices

From the moment the plane took off till the moment it touched down, I had only one thought in mind: I wanted to see the look on Stacy's face at the restaurant. I opened the overhead bin and took out my carry-on. The woman who had been sitting in the window seat asked me if I would hand her her backpack. "The red one with the black stripe," she said. She got up and smoothed her skirt over her legs. I unzipped the bag and opened it, hoping to find some fascinating contraband. A vibrator or some...

1 year ago
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Fictional Body Possession Device

You (RJ Zang) was sitting in the living room of your house watching TV and doing your math homework. You just got off the phone with your friend Danny who lives near by who says he and some of your friends will come over to play video games for the night, when you heard the doorbell ring. "Well Danny sure got here fast" you say as you got up to open the door. "All right Dan.." you say as you look outside to see a red and black box on the doormat. What's this? you say as you picked it up and...

4 years ago
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An Alien Device

Ralph sat on the hood of his car and looked up at the night sky. "Lots of stars out tonight," he said to himself. It really was clear, and as he looked up, he saw a plane flying over. Suddenly, the plane seemed to be getting bigger, and he noticed that the lights looked odd. Ralph suddenly realized that the plane was going down, and not far from him! He watched it come down about a mile away--no explosion, just a big thump sound. He hopped in his car, and headed down a dirt road towards the...

Mind Control
3 years ago
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Death Ode to an Electronic Device

Poor little iPod. Faithful servant; you finally died.No tunes to jam by or any music for the ride.Sixty gigs of memory, you had a lot of stuff.You traveled the world with me to places generally rough.You kept me company in ole' Douchebagistan,as I charged you with solar cells and cooled you down with fans.Or hooked you up to the laptop in Iraq,or the time I left you during that fucking mortar attack.I've had you in shitholes where things weren't so nice.Or when we partied in Dubai with women,...

2 years ago
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Switching

Sandy Krause was the picture, the very picture of contentment. She had, at a very early age, set her sites on not only being a lawyer but being a prosecutor. These days, as assistant county prosecutor, she was a happy woman. Of course, she still got feed back from her family, mostly from her older sister Mona, since her Mom and Dad were now both gone, about being what Mona called ‘an old maid’. But Sandy argued that the concept of ‘old maid’ was no longer a viable category in a society where...

1 year ago
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Switching Teams

There was no question in my mind about my sexual preference, I had been attracted to women and ONLY women since around the third grade. I haven't slept with a lot of women, but I think my numbers were probably average. There was nothing about men that turned me on, and if i am being honest, i found the idea of two dudes fucking to be disgusting. At least that was how it used to be. These days i find myself confused. But let me start at the beginning. I got married. Yes, that is what started me...

Bisexual
3 years ago
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Switching Teams Now a Lesbian

Now everyone looks at porn. Even if they don't admit it, girls do too. I started questioning myself as a red-blooded American girl, right around the time of my junior year of college. My taste in men was slowly worsening, and I began to lose my faith in them being able to satisfy me sexually at all. All college guys want from a girl is a one night stand, and to get off.I started craving my own sexual pleasure much more than I used to. I used to enjoy giving just as much as getting, but my sex...

2 years ago
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Just One Kiss Switching Teams Lesbian

A kiss! What is a kiss? It seems so innocent and yet!We do it all the time, we kiss our c***dren; or parents; our siblings; family members; friends; even work colleagues, sometimes we can even kiss strangers when greeting them. A kiss is something innocent, a form of greeting, a simple brushing of your lips against another persons, or against their cheek, that is the innocent kiss, but there is another sort. The kiss between two lovers. Or the kiss that starts a love affair.A kiss that presages...

1 year ago
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Switching Teams Lesbian

My slow journey exploring my sexuality and discovering what?"Yes, yes, oh my god yes, yes," I groaned as my husband, once more rather unsuccessfully fucked me."Is it good Teen?" he asked slamming himself harder and faster into me."Yes, darling, yes of course it is" I sighed, gritting my teeth and making a big effort to writhe my body beneath him as his hand gripped the cheeks of my ass.It had been like this for a year or so now. A year or so in which I had fake the orgasms he believed he was...

4 years ago
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Switching Roles

It took me a while to squeeze out of the railway station before making it to the parking space while I kept thinking about what my wife said just before the train started moving.'You have to be content with your mother's spicy food till I return with your baby.'I was convinced that her statement was quite straight and meant nothing than what it sounds. But, I somehow began to feel the prick as I kept eschewing her statement again and again. I have been watching Savita, my mother with sexual...

1 year ago
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Pig Whore Switching

okay now that I have stopped laughing at your delightful honesty at the reality that yeah that's right there will be no stoppi Okay now that I have stopped laughing at your delightful honesty at the reality that yeah that's right there will be no stopping me and you will very likely scream, moan and scream even louder for more and I will demand that you beg me in a loud voice to fuck your shit hole harder, bigger, please fuck me I want you in my fuck chute so bad so yeah, best not do it...

4 years ago
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Switching Slaves

In the Car: JamesAfter breakfast and preparations, we were in my car on the way to Marta’s condo. She was, once again, naked under my sweat shirt and sweat pants as she had removed her tight, short dress when we returned from dinner the night before, and dropped it in the car, walking naked up to my condo.When I asked her what she wanted me to wear to start my afternoon as her submissive, she had said she didn’t care, as she wanted to rip my clothes off of me once we were in her condo. As a...

BDSM
2 years ago
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  • 22
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 0102

Author's note: This story consists of multiple chapters. Some chapters will contain subjects that some may find objectionable, such as violence, anal, and incest. While this first part doesn't contain any of these, you are here forewarned not to get into this series if these subjects bother/offend you. All characters are over eighteen, as I can't abide kiddy-porn, PERIOD! If this is suitable to your tastes, please enjoy my series, Bait and Switch. (Quick FYI: The Robbie in this story is...

3 years ago
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Bait and Switch Ch 01

Author's note: This story will consist of multiple chapters. Some chapters will contain subjects that some may find objectionable, such as i****t, anal, and perhaps even v******e. While this first chapter doesn't contain any of these, you are here forewarned not to get into this series if these subjects bother/offend you. All characters are over eighteen, as I can't abide k**dy-porn. If all this is suitable to your tastes, please enjoy my new series, Bait and...

2 years ago
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Bait and Switch Ch 01

Also, please note that this chapter is long on story, and shorter on sex, but that is only because it is a first chapter. Subsequent chapters will be more balanced. ============================== Blue lights... A whirring sound... Something pokes my arm... Head is throbbing... I can't feel my arm... Oh no, what have they done with my arm? A pink shadow bends over me. Sweat soaked, I sit up in bed, terror filling my mind and thoughts. I quickly look at my right arm, and breathe a sigh...

2 years ago
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 03040

Author's note: This story consists of multiple chapters. Some chapters will contain subjects that some may find objectionable, such as violence, anal, and even incest. You are here forewarned not to get into this series if any of these subjects bother/offend you. If you choose to complain about the themes presented within, you will be met with derision and scorn. You have been warned/enticed. All characters are over eighteen, as I can't abide kiddy-porn, PERIOD! If this is suitable to...

3 years ago
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  • 24
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 0506

Personal ads placed in the comments are pathetic. There are better ways to hook up. All characters are over eighteen, as I can't abide kiddy-porn, PERIOD! If this is suitable to your tastes, please enjoy my series, Bait and Switch. ============================== Chapter 05 Standing in cool white light, in a featureless blue room, I examine the alien in front of me. Her eyes look white tonight, with a hint of blue around the edges, and light seems to ripple around her nude frame...

3 years ago
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 03041

Personal ads placed in the comments are pathetic. There are better ways to hook up. All characters are over eighteen, as I can't abide kiddy-porn, PERIOD! If this is suitable to your tastes, please enjoy my series, Bait and Switch. ============================== Chapter 05 Standing in cool white light, in a featureless blue room, I examine the alien in front of me. Her eyes look white tonight, with a hint of blue around the edges, and light seems to ripple around her nude frame...

2 years ago
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  • 17
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 1920

Ch 19 It takes me nearly an hour to convince mom that she hadn't see an alien ship abducting Summer, and thankfully my sister is there to back up my story. Summer and I agree that my sister needs to leave our mother's home, though, just so that a repeat occurrence isn't likely. Her first thought is to come up and stay with me. When I point out that we aren't likely to be able to keep our hands off each other, and people will notice, and that Lela and/or Harana can pick us up easily...

3 years ago
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Bait and Switch Ch 03

Author's note: This story consists of multiple chapters. Some chapters will contain subjects that some may find objectionable, such as i****t. While this chapter doesn't contain this, you are here forewarned not to get into this series if this subject bothers/offends you. All characters are over eighteen, as I can't abide k**dy-porn. If all this is suitable to your tastes, please enjoy my series, Bait and Switch.==============================Blue lights flashing across my closed eyes woke me...

2 years ago
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Bait and Switch Ch 03

============================== Blue lights flashing across my closed eyes woke me immediately. "He's awake," a harsh whisper sounded in my room, "quick, silence him!" A thick hand covered my mouth, and it was only then that I decided to try making noises. More hands grabbed me, and held me down, as the one with the flashlight came closer to me, and turned the light so I could see his face. It was Robbie. "Looks like it's payback time, nerd," His eyes were cold in the beam...

3 years ago
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 2122

Ch 21 The sound of a text message wakes me, and groggily I reach over to check it. Shanna and Gina had kept me up most of the night, and then when Nancy had come in. . . Okay, I can’t help but smile at the memories from last night, but I’m exhausted. I had quite literally stumbled back through my door, and fallen asleep before my head hit the pillow. I can’t even remember the drive home. I’m thankful that Lela hadn’t come to get me last night, or I'd be even more tired than I am...

2 years ago
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Bait and Switch Ch 21 Final

"Get your rest today. Tonight we will take care of the demons." the text read, and it was from my sister. I wondered why she didn't use the nanites. I sat up in bed, and only then realized that something wasn't right. I was still fully dressed, including my shoes, but my posters were gone, and someone had rearranged my room. A groan sounded next to me, and in shock I see Robin laying there next to me. Did I get with Robin last night? I wondered, but can't see how I had. I was still...

1 year ago
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 0910

Please feel free to post comments, or ides on how I'm doing with his series. =================================== CH09 I know where I’m at as soon as the blue light penetrates my eyelids. My eyes fly open, but I’m disappointed to see I’m the only person in the room. The white light douses me, and I can feel my strength leaking from me, as it builds up my body. "Lela?" I call out, but there’s no answer. In silence I wait for the light to finish its work, and then I’m back in my own...

2 years ago
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Bait and Switch Retype Ch 0708

Chapter 07 It seems like any other Monday, except for the whispers and stares I receive as I walk around campus. In one way it’s an improvement, no one calling me dweeb, or nerd, but it’s also a little disturbing. Did someone discover my ability? Did Gina tell someone? I remember Lindsey saying that I’m the talk of the campus, and that had been before I'd told Gina, so I doubt she'd told anyone. I walk towards a couple guys talking, to see what’s up, but when they see me coming, they...

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