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He could only imagine what she must be thinking at this hour, as he finally comes home from another long day away from her.

Late.

Late again.

Late as always.

Late.

As the door creaked open, as one foot followed the other past the door, those words echoed in his mind. She never said them out loud, not once, but he knew they were there, in her mind, in her heart.

Just not on her tongue.

There was no evil behind any of this, no betrayal, just the simple fact that having a nice home, and a wife who stayed in it to care for the kids, meant he couldn’t take much time to enjoy all of it.

Whatever happiness he could have with them, he gave up for them.

His greatest fear was always that by the time he could finally rest and enjoy it all, it might not all be there anymore.

He crept up the stairs, skipping over those spots he had long ago learned creak and groan under his weight, a strange ballet in the darkness.

He passed the twins’ room first, seeing that his little girl had gotten scared and crept into her brother’s bed again.

Or was it the other way around?

He closed the door behind him, and turned towards his room.

Towards their bed.

He crept slower than ever, hoping that for once he might be able to creep in without disturbing her sleep.

Just once, he’d like to lie down beside her and close his eyes and not feel her turning around and looking into his eyes again.

Just once, he didn’t want to feel guilty.

She didn’t even do it on purpose, she simply had to look at him with those eyes, those eyes that always caught him off-guard no matter how prepared he thought he was.

Locking the door behind him, he slipped off his shoes, his aching feet instantly thanking him, and slipped in beside her.

There was no energy left to unbuckle his belt, to unzip his pants and slide them off his legs.

Not now.

Not at this hour.

He just laid down and closed his eyes…

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