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FUNNY JOKES

joker: "Ok pronounce.. M.A.C. D.O.U.G.L.E.S.S" fool: "Its pronounced MacDougless" joker: "Ok now pronouce M.A.C. D.O.U.B.L.E." fool: "Ok MacDouble" joker: "Last one now pronouce M.A.C. H.I.N.E " fool: "Ok MacHine" (sounds like mac hind) joker: Points at old house phone and says "Now what is that?" fool: "An answering machine" joker: "Ok now spell machine" fool: "Ok? M.A.C.H.I.N.E. " joker: "Yup you just spelled MAC...

Depression SoupChapter 8 Bad Jokes

The rest of the winter, starting right after New Year's Day, the weather turned unseasonably cold. The deep muddy ruts had formed when there was a thaw and then froze up again. They were so deep Pa could let go of the steering wheel and the old truck seemed to steer itself. Although the county commissioners had decided to grade the road smooth in the springtime there was little to be done when it was so cold like it was right then. Even though it was the middle of the week we had little we...

Dirty Jokes

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells niceQ: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your job still sucks! Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!Q: How do you kill a circus clown?A: Go for the juggler!Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?A: Because he overdosed on viagra!Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle?A: Because his wife died!Q:...

Dirty Jokes

So a plane is about to take off and all of the passengers have settled into their seats, and an air stewardess is giving a demonstration on how to use the floatation devices and the pilot is giving his usual spiel through the intercom. "We'll be traveling at 35,000 feet today at a speed of 575 miles per hour..." He finishes saying this and then, without realizing the intercom is still on, turns to his co-pilot and says, "You know what I could really use right about now? A nice hot cup of coffee...

Men Jokes

One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?""The good news," replied Adam."Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain.""OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?""I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."Why are men so bad at sex and driving?Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath...

Dirty Sex

The refrigerator was a simple fix after all. It turned out that the water line to the icemaker was blocked with algae and once I blew it out, the device worked like a boss. Who was next on the schedule?I stared incredulously at the contact that popped up on my tablet: Mrs. Claire Blaylock, 10011 Windy Wood Lane. It seemed that the pilot on Mrs. Blaylock’s gas water heater would not stay lit.Oh, I’d heard about Mrs. Blaylock, alright. According to the stories, she called for a technician every...

MILF

Dirty Tricks Chapter 9

Previously in "Dirty Tricks" While attending Alexa Grey's, the retiring mayor’s extravagant birthday party, an unknown photographer captures political opponents and electoral candidates, Heather Anderson, and Sean McCarthy, during an adulterous rendezvous. After being sent ominous instructions with photographic evidence of their indiscretion, they meet to discuss their predicament, only to have sex yet again.During the party, Bob Anderson is seduced by Alexa. She lures him to her office and...

Hardcore

Dirty Tricks Chapter 9

Previously in "Dirty Tricks" While attending Alexa Grey's, the retiring mayor’s extravagant birthday party, an unknown photographer captures political opponents and electoral candidates, Heather Anderson, and Sean McCarthy, during an adulterous rendezvous. After being sent ominous instructions with photographic evidence of their indiscretion, they meet to discuss their predicament, only to have sex yet again.During the party, Bob Anderson is seduced by Alexa. She lures him to her office and...

Hardcore

Dirty bbw younger dirty anal at dentist

Mandy, as it turns out, used to weigh a lot more before her experience with gwen and her naughty boy. It was maybe 4 years beforehand, and she was still in dental training and only an assistant at the time. Mandy saw working with a younger dentist, maybe in his thirties with tall muscular features. Mandy thought that weighing over 400lbs, she would never be able to get a guy as nice as doctor Steven's, but she sure wanted him. One time in the bathroom and she could swear dr Steven's had poked...

Dirty Tricks Chapter7

Previously in "Dirty Tricks"While attending Alexa Grey's, the retiring mayoress's extravagant birthday party, an unknown photographer captures political opponents and electoral candidates, Heather Anderson and Sean McCarthy, during an adulterous rendezvous. After being sent ominous instructions with photographic evidence of their indiscretion, they meet to discuss their predicament, only to have sex yet again.Heather and Sean eventually agree to let only Sean’s shady campaign manager,...

Hardcore

Dirty Tricks

To say that Reed Pena had a complicated life was a huge understatement. He was from a branch of one of the most powerful families in Massachusetts, if not the entire United States, and was rubbing elbows with people who had more money in their bank accounts than 99.999% of the United States would earn in their entire lifetime. Money didn't matter to him, he had grown to not care about it or what it bought. Born the unwanted and unloved third son of Kevin and Penelope Clarence, he was...

Dirty feet domination

It was my second year in college and my foot fetish got stronger. Now I wanted to worship dirty feet and be dominated by them. My chemistry teacher who we will call ms Roberts was one of the hottest teachers at the college. Most importantly she had the nicest feet I've ever seen. She always wore open toed shoes to show off her pedicures. But she had a bitchy side and wasn't too find of me. I always fantasized about her dominating me and making me her foot slave but what were the chances of...

Dirty bbw threesome has dirty anal at dentist

So this girl I found out was named mandy and I tried to report her, but she cleaned up so well, no one believed such a ridiculous story. I assumed however that she knew I had reported her and was trying to figure out a way to get her revenge as she had said she would. I was driving home from work the day after I reported her and I had gotten pulled over. The cop looks like an even bigger woman than mandy and maybe 10 years older. She came up to my window and before I knew it, she had a rag over...

DIRTY OLD PERVERTS

This storey relates to me and a time when my life was so good, that I thought o would put pen to paper and tell you good folks about an incident that happened to me back when I was being used by dirty old men for there gratification.Ive told you all before about the 2 dirty old men that used me in various positions and the like over a 3 year period that I would never change in my life and is something im quite thankful for, well this incident is a follow on from them stories and involves the...

Dirty Bengali Story 8230

andromeda_stain: hello shalini yaa tomar ekta pic send koro na plz yaa tui dirty sex like koro tai to > amio khuub rog roge chat bhalobashi tomar bhetor e ki pore acho ? bf4: bra andromeda_stain: r ? niche ? bf4: kichuna andromeda_stain: mmm……..tomake niye ektu ektu kore masti korbo tomar ta taste kortey ychhe korche bf4: konta???????? andromeda_stain: tomar ghore eshe room lock kore tomar ghare ami chumu khabo soob kichu bf4: dirty sex korbe??????? andromeda_stain: yessssss tobe dirty sex ektu...

Dirty Tricks Chapter 6

‘Damn it!’Trish scowled at the night. She was frustrated and couldn't sleep. Each time she closed her eyes that morning's fortuitous rendezvous with Heather replayed in steamy detail. Fingers, scents, and wet pussies. Lips, tastes, and tongues. Instead of relaxed and sleepy, Trish was hot and bothered, and she now had to deal with it.She reached for her laptop and drafted a message to Dylan, her private club's manager. He'd understand. Even though Trish didn't provide him with much detail, only...

Hardcore

Dirty Little Secrets 1 Performing For Two

I know he’s there, even if he isn’t.What I mean is that I can never know if he’s there, but he’s so real in my mind that he’s always there when I perform.Oh dear, I’m not explaining this very well, am I?It’s like this. My husband, John, spends every other working week abroad. I’ve never had any reason to imagine that he’s been anything other than completely faithful to me, but at the same time I’m a realist. I know that things can happen, that temptation can ensnare. Where does that line come...

Wife Lovers

Dirty Laundry Day

19 year old Jason Leary crouched at the open hamper in the laundry room that his mother had just brought in minutes ago before she had left for work. His 18 year old sister Denise had left for class earlier and there was no one at home to keep him from rooting in the week's worth of dirty clothes his mother and sister had deposited in there. He wore a rose patterned nylon Vanity Fare brief of his mother's that he had slipped into because they were on top and the first pair he had gotten a hold...

Dirty Kelly 1

She didn’t want to do this. She really didn’t. Maybe, her big, black, two year old Beemer had a mind of its own, and it really wasn’t her, driving towards this one place, this one place, she had vowed never to return to. The five storey block of flats, grew bigger and bigger the closer she got. It had started to snow, and she would have to run to get to the entrance lobby before she was soaking and cold. She wasn’t dressed for winter. The carpark was near empty, but still she parked as far...

DIRTY OLD PERVERTS 2 THEY HAVE MY MOTHER

So after returning from Brighton I settled down at home just the normal things really, work seeing friends and the like, I still very annoyed with Ken talking about my mother but dismissed it really on the count that he was just horny and couldn't wait to get home and watch the video of Alf and his friends fucking my sister, still in was in the back of my mind to watch out for my mother who at 51 had kept herself in pretty good shape and she was at a low point that my father had walked out on...

Dirty And Hot Sex With My Ex Girlfriend In Delhi

Hi readers of ISS. I am Samir from Delhi with my new story here telling you about my sexperiences. Thank you for the response to my last stories on ISS. For new readers, I am single, hot and horny guy and I love dirty and oral sex a lot. Today im going to narrate you my one of the dirtiest sexperience with my ex girlfriend. My girlfriend was also from Delhi and we enjoyed some real good moments and even after breakup we do cherish such moments. So we often used to discus about sex and one day...

Dirty Love Taboo Tales of the Springfield Three

A sign on the side of a building reads, “Welcome to the Pink Poodle, Springfield’s Finest Gentlemen’s Club”… And then we’re inside. It’s a cheesy, dark, noisy – BUSY – dive. Plenty of ‘gentlemen’ enjoying a drink whilst mostly naked woman dance (or writhe) on the stage and in a couple of cases, on the businessmen themselves.We watch one woman in particular, spinning around a pole, upside down, legs spread wide with a g-string barely covering her crotch. Under the harsh flashing lights we can...

Dirty old guy

My name is Michelle, I’m 35, and my husband would consider me prim and prudish and so would nearly everyone who knows me. I consider myself very conservative and a bit of a goody two shoes, when it comes to the opposite sex, very reserved and shy, but until recently, fairly innocent. Mike, my husband, had begun mentioning the idea of me having sex with another man, but it really wasn’t for me, I was much too proper for that sort of thing. But I would play along with him in bed,...

Dirty unwashed festival fun true story

As it's festival season I can't help but be jealous of all the people off having fun right now. I used to go to Download festival, I was lucky though and the times when I went it was lovely weather, not like the monsoon it seems to usually be nowadays. Festivals are brilliant for my unwashed fetish, as it's days on end of no washing, getting hot and sweaty in crowds, and just generally letting yourself go. I thought I'd share with you all one of my favourite festival experiences:It was 2006 and...

Dirty Laundry Alternate Chapter 2

Stacey and I decided to take this story in two different directions. Stacey has already posted her own version of Chapter 2. I hope you enjoy both of our stories. Dirty Laundry Erica's Version of Chapter 2 Characters and situation inspired by Stacey Wilson Written by Erica Wright Peter slid the pink panties up his smooth legs. He tucked his semi-hard cock between his legs and pulled the spandex panty-girdle tight. He looped the lacey garter belt around his waist and clipped the two...

Dirty Horny Family

Huma presents a new hot story of a dirty family. Hope all my kinky readers will love it. I am 26 years old photographer, married to a sexbomb named Sarita who loves sex. I have been fucking her in all positions and at all places, like, bathroom, kitchen, in the lawn and soemtimes in bed too. I live with my mother Sunita who is a gorgeous looking woman of 46. She has a few male friends who used to be my dad’s friends before my dad died two years ago. My wife tells me she fucks them like a whore....

Dirty Porn 303 000

@_Dirtyporn! Porn is one of the top sources of joy to modern man. It is a cold world for men as they work their asses off for the benefit of their family.I know feminists with would argue that both men and women work hard for the sake of society and their loved ones. They often point out that they have fought for equal opportunities for both sexes. Yet, you don't see them advocating to work at mines, construction sites, and other jobs that keep our civilization running.Men have little to no...

Twitter Porn Accounts

Dirty Old Dog 1

“Why did you take it?” Mike asked, “All you had to do was ask.” And that was the problem really. I was pretty sure if I had asked to borrow the money he would have let me but instead I just took it. Anything I said from here would just sound like an excuse. I was just so disgusted with myself. Mike was in his late sixties and vulnerable and I had robbed him “I’m sorry Mike, “ I said “Really. I am. I can only say that I panicked when the bank threatened to take my house off me. It’s been hard...

Dirty Old Men

“You’ll go blind if you keep doing that!” I laughed at the dirty old man as he lay on his bed stroking his cock to hardness as I pulled the soiled sheets off the other bed in the room. “But I wouldn’t go blind if you did it for me then?” The old man chuckled as he raised his hips so I could get a clearer look as he cupped his wrinkly ball sack with one hand and rubbed his cock as fast as possible with the other. I just shook my head and smiled. “Come on Gail,” he...

Dirty Little Secrets 11 All Tied Up

Something is going on. I don’t know what it is, and it makes me nervous. I’ve had this feeling all week. Now it’s Friday evening and I’m all in the dark.I mean this literally. Straight after work I went to the sex shop, where my videos now show on repeat, the ones where I demonstrate various products. The latest video shows me in bondage. A spreader bar holds my legs apart, and my wrists are attached to the metal too. I’m wearing the hood that renders me anonymous, but apart from that nothing...

Wife Lovers

Dirty Lauras Gangbang

My ex bird Laura (then 29) and me Sean(then 32) were very sexual people and quite honestly dirty in bed ! Or other places then bed !Anyway, lots of sex and dirty talking, her clear filthy fantasy was to invite more than 2 guys to join me for a full session ! This went on for about a year before one night while fucking and talking I said " Told a few lads about your gangbang idea " ! (I actually hadn't at this point. She just giggled and said well I'd have to be tipsy and have notice to ensure...

dirty jo

i was in my local pub a couple of weeks ago having a swift half on my dinner break,this woman walked in long black coat light brown hair just past her shoulders but what caught my eye were her legs black fishnet's black stilettos she walked over to the bar and ordered a glass of wine . i have a bit of a thing for nice underwear and just wondered to my self are they stockings ,she sat by the table by the door and as she sat down her coat fell slightly open a i had a glimpse at what she had on...

Dirty Kelly 1

She didn't want to do this. She really didn't. Maybe, her big, black, two year old Beemer had a mind of its own, and it really wasn't her, driving towards this one place, this one place, she had vowed never to return to. The five storey block of flats, grew bigger and bigger the closer she got. It had started to snow, and she would have to run to get to the entrance lobby before she was soaking and cold. She wasn't dressed for winter. The carpark was near empty, but still she parked as far away...

Dirty cuckoldress Jayde

When I first arrived abroad and started living with Mandy, my aunt, a few years back, Mandy had a carer coming in the daytime, to help with various things, as my aunt is elderly and disabled. Her carer, Jayde, was GORGEOUS…the best looking woman I personally think is possible;a jaunty little rock chick with long, luxurious hair, and eyes like dark pools, and the prettiest, most atrractive face and figure you could ever find. A few tattoos finished off her exotic little hippy-chick appearance. I...

Dirty Little Secrets Mommy s Midnight Romance

It had just gone quarter to midnight and Diane had reduced her pacing up and down the hallway to a small shuffle in either direction. Where the hell is that girl? She thought. It wasn’t even a Friday or Saturday night, but she still decided to break her curfew.Any more of this nonsense, young lady and you will never leave the house again. Toni, her eighteen-year-old daughter was in trouble more often than she cared to admit, and Diane was sick of telling her to be in by curfew. She had set...

Incest

Dirty Snapchat

Reddit DirtySnapchat, aka r/DirtySnapchat! You know what? My fucking grandma, God bless her soul, was right about some things. There are things in this world that are purely Satanic, and they can't exist in any other form. And, one of those things is what we're exploring today. You see, the world's best scientists all agree on one single thing. Young people do have less sex than their boomer counterparts, and that's unfortunate information. Many people like to blame porn, and maybe they're...

Reddit NSFW List

DIRTY BEGGARS WARM MY COLD WIFE S PUSSY

I always encourage her to wear low cut blouses and sarees tied way below the navel. When she wears those tightly wrapped around sarees she looks like the ancient statues posing for kamasutra positions. I also encourage her to wear short skirts and tank tops especially when we are out of town and away from her prying friends and relatives. Sometimes when we go out for a dinner or a drive, I ask her not to wear any bra and panty and at any given chance I finger her pussy and massage her...

DIRTY BEGGARS WARM MY COLD WIFES PUSSY

Introduction: By [email protected] I love to show off my beautiful wife. Even after 10 years of marriage at a age of 40 she is a stunner. No extra fat (except on her ample breasts), muscular and toned legs, and a fantastic set of ass to die for. She has flowing long hair which she never ties and they frame her face like a miasma of seduction. I always encourage her to wear low cut blouses and sarees tied way below the navel. When she wears those tightly wrapped around sarees she looks like the...

Dirty In The Tub

For a few months, Vera was my sex-friend in a short and intense relationship. Even now, three years later, I often think back to those days. When I have time and want good solo-sex, I get lube and let my mind wander back to the time when things got dirty in the bathtub. But let me start at the beginning.My ex of all people arranged our first night in bed. After the breakup, Lisa and I still kept in touch, and one Saturday evening, I visited her place. Vera was there too. Her long-term boyfriend...

Watersports

Dirty In The Tub

For a few months, Vera was my sex-friend in a short and intense relationship. Even now, three years later, I often think back to those days. When I have time and want good solo-sex, I get lube and let my mind wander back to the time when things got dirty in the bathtub. But let me start at the beginning.My ex of all people arranged our first night in bed. After the breakup, Lisa and I still kept in touch, and one Saturday evening, I visited her place. Vera was there too. Her long-term boyfriend...

Watersports

Dirty Talking Fun

He got rid of his clothes and started to get ready for a bath. He wanted to get refreshed and then chill out with a drink, enjoying and toasting his success. He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist and walked back towards his bed. “Mmmmm…. Isn’t that a cute ass. Pity it is covered”. It was a husky woman’s voice. Mike spun around startled. What he saw took his breath away. On his bed was lying the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid his eyes on. She was a...

Dirty Girl

By: DamonX ([email protected]) Dirty Girl By DamonX "Do you have a club card?" Suddenly I was snapped out of my trance. "Huh? Oh,umm yeah." I fumbled around in my wallet trying to find the card as she smiled at me. I could tell she was amused. I, on the other hand, was embarrassed beyond belief. How long had I been staring at her? "Here you go," I said passing the card to her. She smiled as she took it from my hand. I started to wonder how old...

Dirty Weekend at Curl Curl

Senior personal assistant Ella Rogers sighed and thought another **^?$#@ day at the office and this one could be as bad as it gets. She’d had four principals in five years, all female, and this one was a guy, who’d been due to arrive at the weekend from France. God a male shaving while yelling what files he wanted downloaded and picking his nose as he read reports. Because he was coming from France he’d probably ask for frog leg sandwiches with his mid-morning coffee. She adjusted a panty...

Dirty Little Secrets 5 Evaporating Inhibitions

Now that I am officially a scarlet woman, at least to myself, any inhibitions I have left are evaporating fast. All I need remember is the need for caution. My darling husband John must never know that there is anyone but him that drives me to new heights of sexual abandon, and nobody else must suspect. And yet, I have ideas; ideas that will lead into ever-riskier territory.At lunch I find a secluded spot where I can bring out my secret, pre-paid phone. There’s only one number in it and I...

Wife Lovers

Dirty League

I thought Dirty League would be a new sports-themed porn paysite with famous pornstars taking on whole football teams at a time. That got my mind racing and my dick hard before I could even click the link, which is not to say I was disappointed by what I found. While it isn’t a bunch of big-name bitches taking on big cock by the bunch, it will keep your boner engorged and your hands busy all day. Oh, and that titular dirty league they’re talking about? You’ll be building that...

Best Porn Games

Dirty Sarah

I arrived home at our recently moved in flat and made a lame attempt at making a start on sorting out the boxes and stuff piled up in our bedroom before going back to work, we had got a double bed in there somewhere and chest of draws and all still to be made up, we were living out of cardboard boxes aznd suitcases and time was something we did not have, space was another factor, we had none, we just slept in the front room on one of those putyouup things. It was not long after when the...

Dirty Sex Goodbye to Good Girl

Fresh filmy underthings were laid out on the bed – a merest whiff of panties, see-through flesh -colored bra, and a lacy French silk camisole. How long had it been since she had dressed so sensuously? Claire Blaylock stood naked after her shower in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom and examined her body with fresh eyes. She was neither aware, nor cared, that it was rapidly approaching the time to pick up her youngest daughter from basketball practice, nor that chicken breasts...

Anal

Dirty Girlz Maid Service

She arrived at my building about ten minutes before our scheduled appointment and so I was a bit startled when I heard the intercom buzz. You see, I live in a secure building and you have to be "buzzed" to get in by one of the building occupants. I like this feature and it was one of the main reasons I lived here."Hello?" I replied into the intercom."Hello, I'm Pamela from the maid service," she said."Oh okay, come on up," I said and I buzzed the door to unlock it for her. I had called Dirty...

Office Sex

Dirty Tricks Chapter 3

Heather's voice was raspy as he removed her cum-soaked, black silk panties from her mouth. The panties served as a small gag to quiet her.Bob's cock was big and thick, often threatening to tear her in two, but she loved being his fuck doll. She was a screamer. With Bob, she had everything to scream about, but with two teens at home she had become accustomed to things being shoved into her mouth, in order to avoid the embarrassment that would surely follow if they heard her. She was loud and...

Hardcore

Dirty Talk

This is a continuation of my previous story: Ingenious Toys. The ‘Kombi’ of course was a VW Transporter, but not one of the 1960’s chartreuse microbuses you might be imagining. The only similarity that it bore to one of those countless hippie/surfer vans circling the country was an airbrush mural on the side; a surfer shooting through a pipeline and running his fingers through the wall of water that threatened to crash down on top of him. Far from being a “fried out Kombi” like in the Men At...

Straight Sex

Dirty Mature Foursome

I was sorting through some files on my laptop recently and came across this account I wrote a couple of years ago but which I never posted. It’s a true story and reflects my weakness for older women in their 50s, 60s and 70s. I’ve added a slightly sad postscript and hope it provides some pleasure. Please be aware that it contains graphic references to messy sex in a MFMF foursome.Carol, my 64yo fuck buddy, and I were at a swingers club in the English Midlands where we met a lovely couple while...

DIRTY OLD WOMAN

ALL WAYS BEEN A PERV FOR DIRTY OLD WOMEN I was just an ordinaryy lad of 14 back in the day when the only naked men or women you saw came from the dirty mags you found stashed in various places and maybe to odd glimpse of your Mom , Dad or Sis . I had found a few in my time ,the pics were good best being the mature readers wives bits always got me hard but I loved the stories because they often told of pervy things id never thought of but reading of the dirty kinky things people got up to had my...

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS CHAPTER TWO

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETSBy The Marquis Facade CHAPTER TWO She looked at his face and then lowered her gaze down to his dangling appendage and realized it was moving a bit, twisting on its own accord. “You wanna see the rest of it,” he asked and before she could answer, he pulled his underwear down further and spilled his testicles out over the top of the waistband…and the big sack of balls slid out and dropped down a good five inches with an odd flop…before beginning to dangle pendulously behind...

Dirty thoughts

Mmm babyboy, if you only knew all the dirty thoughts that go thru my mind when I think about you, like the dirty thoughts I have when you're asleep, when you're tired laying down on my bed and I crawl quietly next to you and I pull your zipper down and I can see the tip of your semi hard cock peeping thru the hole in your boxers just waitting to be touched and played with, so I gently pull it out off ur boxers, trying not to wake you up, and I pull a little bottle of kamasutra oil, raspberry...

Dirty Sarah

I arrived home at our recently moved in flat and made a lame attempt at making a start on sorting out the boxes and stuff piled up in our bedroom before going back to work, we had got a double bed in there somewhere and chest of draws and all still to be made up, we were living out of cardboard boxes aznd suitcases and time was something we did not have, space was another factor, we had none, we just slept in the front room on one of those putyouup things. It was not long after when the front...

Straight Sex

Dirty Confession

What can you expect from dirty little sluts other than dirty little confessions? I feel like checking out the hot babes on Reddit is one of the best ways to experience some of the hottest confessions ever, but you just need to know where to look. If you want to look in the right place for confessions of sexual nature on the Reddit.com platform, then there’s only one sub that you should check out and it goes by the name of /r/DirtyConfession. Now, as The Porn Dude, I went ahead and tried the...

Reddit NSFW List

Dirty slut

Another night with my slutty girlfriend we were at pub having fun I dared her to be really naughty We were chatting having fun her lil skirt mmmm take ur knickers off slut she started to leave but I grabbed her arm and said here do it here other men around us could hear what we were talking about a man beside us told the slut to take them off now looking around slut reached under tiny skirt and pulled lil g string down just as it got to her knee's the man beside us started to tell the slut she...

Group Sex

Dirty Boy 1

“Let’s get something straight,” she said. “Right now.” I gulped and glanced at her face while a quick, impetuous thought about escape popped into my head. It was a brief look at her eyes, which were fixed upon me like blue lasers of death, her expression serious. When I saw that look, panic swelled. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to have the conversation I knew was coming. The urge to get away was strong, compelling, and near irresistible. But I was trapped. I was on my bed with...

Dirty Little Girl

She didn’t shower after, she was in a rush to get to work, and anyway she kind of liked the squishy feeling she got in her wet, black, lacy knickers as she walked out of their apartment building. She sat at work wishing she didn’t have to be there, imagining her bosses reaction if he realised shed slipped her fingers into her swollen cunt under the desk, the other hand working away with the mouse on the computer. It was the slowest day ever, she achieved nothing as she couldn’t focus her mind...

Dirty Little Secret 0

By: DamonX ([email protected]) Yes she is!" "Not really." "Oh come on! Are you blind? Look at her!" "She's okay. I just don't think she's that hot." "You're fucking crazy! She's gorgeous!" The argument Kevin and I had been having throughout the entirety of the movie we had been watching was now reaching epic proportions as the alcohol we had been consuming was now starting to take effect. In fact, not one of the four people in the room that night was...

Dirty Mormon Girl

I got the idea for this story from one a lady friend of mine told me that supposedly happened to her. I don't know if it did or not but I thought the story was hot so I modified it and fleshed it out a bit. If you guys like it I can write a few more stories about "Julie." ******************************************************************************************************************** Growing up mormon can leave a girl with a lot a sexual angst. I always tried to be good but I was...

Dirty Moving

It had been simple, a drugged drink and the next thing she knew she was in a strange room, a decorated basement in some remote canyon of northeastern Los Angeles. Upon awakening she had found herself nude and held captive in this big room. Shortly after she awakened, two women walked in. “Hello Kerry,” one of them spoke. “My name is Abra and this is Amelia.” “Who are you? What am I doing here?” Kerry demanded. “We’re lesbians. Real dirty lesbians...

Dirty Blonde

I’ll start this story by telling you something I’m sure many of you can relate to: I always want what I can’t have, and as a man I always want the women who would be totally wrong for me and turn my world upside down. Women seem to crave bad boys in much the same manner. I won’t spend much time describing myself because, let’s face it, the beauty of the picture I’m painting, what you all want to ‘see,’ isn’t me. Besides, nobody likes a self-gratifying rant where the writer strokes his own ego...

Dirty Doctor Naughty Ashley

Introduction: Everything written is fiction, created by my dirty mind. Dirty Doctor, Naughty Ashley. Hello, The characters name is Ashley. She is 18years old. Description: Dark blonde hair, long Big breasts, 36D Tall, long legs Round ass, smackable A bald tight cunt Lovely pink sensitive nipples with perfect sized areolas ~~ Chapter 1 I am a horny girl, Always had many boyfriends, Had sex very often and enjoyed oral. Both giving and receiving. I was popular in my school for my slut image and...

Dirty Kelly 3

Jimmy woke up to the sound of groaning and wailing. Turning over and looking at his bedside clock it read just after 0545. That was in his estimation….early. Who the fuck, shaggs at this time of the morning. He remembered….Kelly. Her man had told him she was always horny as hell when she was hungover. And boy was she pissed. He remembered what he’d done to her, and, although he wasn’t proud of it, he was still pleased he’d done it. He also had the evidence, which he’d download, and watch it in...

Dirty Black Summer

Introduction: Its a dirty black summer Dirty Black Summer written by Marc Rollins No summer in the Winter time Will keep you warm like a funeral pyre And theres nothing like an August night Drenched in your loving Ive got a dirty black Summer And nothing in the coolest light Can stop the walking out across the line No holding back the Summer night I got a feeling Its just a dirty black summer An unseasonably brutal sun wanes on a beach house overlooking the ocean, just North of Lincoln, City...

Dirty Fun Serving at a Home Office

Someone came across me, and started to chat me up, and right away, I could tell he was dirty. He cut right to it, and I love that, telling me exactly what he wants to do with me when I haven't even talked to him before.He said that he's been at his home office, and needs someone to come over and serve him all day, and I gladly replied that I'm just the slut he was looking for.What I didn't know, was that he was married, and that she was home. I found out when I said I was close, and he pulled...

Dirty Mom perverted Son and shy Maid

Kelly was a thirty-nine year-old busty and beautiful woman. This afternoon she was working in the kitchen, and Kelly’s eighteen-year-old son, Jeff, was studying in his room. Kelly had a twenty year-old maid, Susie, who was also in the house at the moment; she was cleaning the bookshelf in the living room. Kelly had big boobs, nice big ass, black hair, and she was a big whore. Susie was shy, a little innocent but naughty sometimes. She had blonde hair, and she was shorter than Kelly. She had...

Incest

Dirty Little Secrets 7 Leaping Into The Dark

My body quivers with excitement, and not only because I’m on my knees in the bedroom with my husband’s cock in my mouth. Not even because there’s someone else in the house. The God Botherer is waiting in the kitchen.Perhaps I should explain. The God Botherer is what John calls his personal assistant in private, though to her face and publicly he calls her Ms. McLeod or, on rare occasions, Charlotte. I find her rather sweet. On the few occasions I’ve met her, she’s given me tips on how to take...

Wife Lovers

DIRTY HARRIET AND POLLY

A STORY ABOUT TWO KINKY CROSSDRESSERS HAVING LEOTARD AND PANTYHOSE ENCASEMENT FUN. I used to work in a hosiery/lingerie section in a department store. The manager was always impressed at my expertise on hosiery. During my shift customers would often leave with a fresh pair of tights or fishnets whether they needed them or not. They had no idea that in private I enjoyed crossdressing, calling myself Polly, and hitting on hunks in skintight stocking masks, in order to sit and rub my skintight...

Dirty old pervert 2

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it's pretty damn good. - Woody Allen I didn’t stop. I knew precisely what it was, but I wanted to get done before addressing it. My cock exploded and I allowed the semen to dribble down, instead of cleaning it up as I usually did. It was a glorious mess, but I wanted to make sure that I was giving the little device a full view. Then I cleaned up, and turned the lights off, pretending that I was falling...

Fetish

Dirty pantyhose secret

A few years ago my (then) girlfriend Anne got a job in another town and moved in with a new housemate. Her name was Carole, she was French, and hot as fuck. Whenever I was round there I would flirt with Carole, my mind racing about how I would have liked to have been balls-deep in her pussy. She was average height, with perky tits, fantastic legs, dark hair and eyes, and a naughty smile. One day, Anne and Carole were at work and I was home alone, horny as hell. A thought occurred to me, and...

Dirty One Night

Dirty One Night It was a nice night for a walk. The type of walk where you take your time and simply enjoy the solitude. A walk to the gas station for some smokes was starting to become an evening routine for me. Tonight however was different....as well as unexpected. I waited in line as usual. The girl in front of me had long auburn hair that made me jealous. She had glanced sideways at me when I got in line. It was hard not to notice that she was really cute. Bright green eyes dominated her...

Quickie Sex

Dirty Rotten Schoolgirls

My life changed the week before Christmas last year when I lost my virginity.I'm sure that many might say that not having sex until I was twenty-five was unnatural, twisted even. And, to be fair, knowing what I know now, I'd have to agree. But of course before that fateful lesson I was perfectly happy in my celibate state; perfectly happy waiting until I was married to my longstanding fiancée, Bethany.Perhaps I should give you a little background so you understand just what a life-shifting...

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS CHAPTER THREE

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETSBy The Marquis Facade CHAPTER THREE “Say it, Shawn,” she told him. “Tell me I’m fat. It’s okay, I like it because I know I turn you on.” She gawked over the top of her belly to gauge his response…or lack thereof. “What’s wrong, am I squashing you with my big fat ass?” “No,” he blurted suddenly but then said nothing else. No, he wasn’t going to take the initiative any time soon, so obviously it was up to her to remain in control of the game. “Maybe I should squash you...

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS CHAPTER ONE

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETSBy The Marquis Facade CHAPTER ONE Angie stood naked, staring at her reflection in the long mirror that clung to the back of her bathroom door. The confines of the bathroom prevented her from backing too far from the door…but she was back enough that she could take in a good ninety percent of her nudity. With a fairly moderate amount of self-disgust, she placed both hands on her plump gut and jiggled it up and down, gawking in awe that when she stopped…her belly continued...

Dirty Experience With A Milf In Ukraine

This is my first time and wanted to share the real-life incident that happened to me. I am a 28 years male based in Delhi. I have been god gifted with a good body and physique. Since I have always been a sportsman have maintained myself pretty well. I will not get into the details of my personal life. But I will post an experience of mine when I went on an official trip to Ukraine. I always got my share of sex whenever I desired. But there was always something which I found missing in my life....

Dirty Weekend Part Two

Dirty Weekend. Part Two."You are a dirty boy" Sam chastised him as they entered their suite. "That poor woman, expecting so much from watching us, then getting nothing in return.""She isn't my wife, she's not my problem. If her bloke can't fuck her, then she should get a younger model" he replied, showing a cheeky smile."Oh, and is that what you will do, when you can't fuck me?""Yeah, of course baby. She will be hot and you will be dripping, just watching me...ouch." Laughing, Mark took the...

Taboo

Dirty Filthy And Hot Service To A Dirty Hot Lady In Delhi

Hi, I am going to share yet another horny sex between a young married woman and me. As you perhaps may know that I am a Delhi based boy, educated, smart and a part time masseur and escort. Thank you to those who replied to my mails and want to get fucked by me. Coming to the story, in response to my ad online, I got a reply from a lady in Delhi. She introduced herself and wanted to have her some fantasies fulfilled. She said she is 33 married to a rich businessman who does have sex but not what...

Dirty Sex

I run my own building business developing properties for wealthy customers, I had worked for Zoe and John on their own property and we got on well. Their style was minimalist to say the least no clutter, no k**s or pets all the rooms where stripped back to basics timber floors and marble everywhere, not my taste but they loved it.John was obsessive about life he had a real tidy fetish everything had to be the right place etc, he was immaculate in his dress, Zoe was similar but not so extreme...

dirty home alone wife

so here i am again, husband overseas and my pussy is itching for cock. firstly i must say i am what is described as a bbw. i'm big and very beautiful and only those who have what it takes can satisfy my sexual desires. i seem to have spent most of the day with my hands down my knickers flicking my little twat and then licking my juice off my finger. As i type this the heat of my pussy is unreal. I have my didlo stuffed inside my knickers and am thrusting it fast and hard wishing it was some...

Dirty Laundry

With your newly meet step sister out tanning in the back you take the opportunity to snoop in her room. Going through her drawers you find the usual skimpy booty shorts and bras you’d expect from any young hot woman. Moving to the closet you find a big back cabinet full of sexy slutty lingerie, thongs, and sex toys. Looking to the left you see her laundry basket and you can’t help but pull out all her dirty bras and panties. Dumping all the slutty underwear and lingerie on her silly sheet bed...

Incest

Dirty Laundry

With your newly meet step sister out tanning in the back you take the opportunity to snoop in her room. Going through her drawers you find the usual skimpy booty shorts and bras you’d expect from any young hot woman. Moving to the closet you find a big back cabinet full of sexy slutty lingerie, thongs, and sex toys. Looking to the left you see her laundry basket and you can’t help but pull out all her dirty bras and panties. Dumping all the slutty underwear and lingerie on her silly sheet bed...

Incest

Dirty Talk

Earlier Today... This is a continuation of my previous story: Ingenious Toys. Briefly, this is what has happened so far: Mr Gallows, headmaster of my boarding school and also my secret boyfriend, turns out to be a mad inventor of sex toys. He modified a pair of vaginal plugs with radio controllers so that they turn on and off together. Rupali and I (Rupali is my sexy room-mate and secret girlfriend; she named the plugs Ike and Mike) wore them this morning on a shopping trip and – to cut a...

Perverted Jokes

Introduction: These are funny,perverted, and just wrong all at the same time.A Penis StudyIn 1991, Duke University funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the Man more pleasure during sex. After Duke published the study, Stanford decided to do their own study. After three years of research and $250,000.00, they concluded that the reason was to give...

Dirty Dirty Teenage Sex Party

So Adarsh and I had finally realized that each other was gay. We had been good friends since Grade 7, now we in Grade 12 and he was 18. We finally had each other to fulfil all our teenage sexual fantasies with. I was his slave and he was mine. This one weekend, there was a party at one of our classmates house in Bangalore. His parents weren’t in town and this party was wild. A lot of people were drinking and dancing and having a good time. Adarsh dragged me upstairs. I willingly followed him...

Dirty old Des rewrite

Elaine had always been quite inhibited. She was raised by religious parents and it left her with some hangups about sin and guilt about pleasure. She was fine about the act of intercourse and enjoyed it,but when it came to anything a little unusual,she was much less sure. I had never told Elaine about my fantasies for fear of shocking her. The most persistent and strong idea's I masturbate to, where the thought of other men having Elaine. I dont know why,but the thought of total...

Dirty Randy Married Man Natalie

Natalie. I had sometimes been asked to do some driving for my wife’s retail store, this normally around Christmas and Easter times under ad-hoc arrangements and open to staff’s friends and families. Driving duties were easy enough in just running stock or equipment between the store and their warehouse, occasionally, running staff between stores. It was for that reason I could use the store's canteen, and occasionally I would pop in to meet Ellen, my misses for lunch, even if I was driving...

Quickie Sex

Dirty Bitch A Novel

1 ‘Do you Darren Speck take this beautiful fuckin’ fine-ass piece of cherrypie to be your beautiful fuckin’ lawful wedded wife, booooooy,’ said the geezer of a priest, doing some hip thing with his fingers at the end. ‘Booooy!’ he repeated, and straight after that he did a groovy little moonwalk across the stage, his gleaming black shoes gliding smoothly across the floor. ‘Yes I mother fuckin’ do,’ I said. Man, I was fuckin’ out of it by then, pissed up to the bone on Blue Moon Ale. And on my...

Dirty Secrets

Her Dirty Secrets from Her Lover and The Naughty Chef It began as a usual Saturday in the big infamous oval track town, racing capital of the world, home of the black and white checkered flag, the Indianapolis 500. Deanne was extremely tired. She had talked to her friend with benefits, her lover, in NYC through the night. Slowly over a period of about four months, they had been getting to know one another as friends and lovers. It was safe to say they were both pretty much suffering...

Dirty Kelly 2

Dirty Kelly part 2 Kelly was on her third gin and tonic, all complementary of her as yet unnamed friendly barman, and hadn’t heard a thing from Ray, until her mobile started ringing. ‘Babe, I’m stuck in traffic. Been an accident by the look of it. Been ambulances and fire engines flying always. Don’t know how long I’ll be’ ‘Ok. I’m in the bar. Better hurry up, I’m getting pissed, and their is a man after me. Get changed quick and meet me in the bar. Love you’ ‘Love you too babe. Be as...

Dirty Fantasy One Fun Night

Every Friday night for the last two years we had all gotten together for a few drinks and some laughs. You know, friend stuff, cards or darts or dominoes. Cindy and Billy had been married for five years. Kerri and I for seven. I don’t remember exactly how it got started, but one night the girls challenged Billy and I to a game of strip poker. I still remember how my cock was throbbing as the girls laid down the rules. The game was three card stud, boys against the girls. The losers of the round...

Dirty Girl Takes 20 Inches Of Cock

My girlfriend and I were discussing fantasies the other night in bed and the subject of threesomes came up. I naturally assumed that when she said that she wanted one, that my luck would be in and that I was to be entertained by two lovely ladies, after a bit of a show. Imagine my surprise when she said that she would rather sample a second cock during our love making games and not another smooth pussy, as I had foolishly anticipated.When my girl makes demands, she usually gets what she wants,...

Dirty Gina

The place was always crowded on a Friday night, and, following his usual scanning of curvy female dancers and picking out one or two who might succumb to his well worn chat-up line. He sat down at a table to give a deeper consideration to his selections. Harry Laine had no real belief that he was one of the world’s great lovers, but he was aware at the age of twenty-two that young women, and some not so young, found him attractive. He was also very aware of the advice both his parents had...

Femdom

Dirty old pervert 1

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. Woody Allen She was only twenty-two. She had a long, dark brown ponytail that fell behind her, and lovely thirty-six D cups. She was kneeling on the floor. I groaned as she took my fat, heavily veined cock and kissed it. She rotated her tongue around the pink knob that was the head of my penis. Her right hand cupped my balls as she did this. She seemed to be enjoying the feel of my hairy...

Fetish

Dirty Old Man D O M for short

I'm "middle aged" now. Right... if I live to be 130.I still think and feel like I'm in my early 30's but my experiences are always pointing towards "dirty old man" territory now. I haven't changed a bit, but everybody else has just gotten sooo freaking young lately. EVERYBODY.The first time I realized I may really be a dirty old man ("D.O.M." for short), I was 45 and in a nightclub in Las Vegas, sort of a "disco themed" place that had stages, loud music and beautiful women dancing all over the...

Dirty fun with a group of guys

My friend Adrian who had fucked my wife before asked if she wanted to come over memorial day weekendand help entertain him and 2 of his friends. At first she wasn't sure about the encounter and Ididn't think she would be down since the other two were young, but here was Kristi in the middle ofan apartment living room sucking on not one, not two, but three huge black cocks. Did I say sucking?Try slobbering, as she kneeled down beneath the black cocks that hovered over her. Kristi sucked...

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