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My girlfriend s mother part 2

In part one I told how back in the 70s I was infatuated with this mormon girl from Salt Lake and ended up having sex with her a few times. After that, we stayed away from sex for about 8 weeks as I recall and then while staying with her family for the weekend I ended up having sex with her mother when we were alone in the house.The encounter with her mother just changed everything. I was afraid to talk to my girlfriend for fear that she had found out that I had fucked her mother. I knew that...

Love and Politics

He actually waited four days before he called. Two days longer than I thought. I listened as his smarmy voice oozed through the phone. "Tom, Tom, please be reasonable. I'm sure we can work out an agreement we're all happy with. Why don't you come by the office, we'll sit and discuss it like reasonable men." "That's a great idea, Stan. I already know what I want." He hated being called Stan, insisting on Stanley. I heard his hiss, but he controlled it. "That's just great, Tom. I...

MICHAEL AND THE MEDIA LADY

That was before Ada asked me to work for her ‘exclusive agency’. “We have a wide ranging client list, males and females, and lots of constant work,” she told me as she auditioned me. “And we provide for some very kinky people with lots of sexual fetishes.” At eight on the Friday I am looking forward to meeting the media lady who has never sucked or been fucked by a man with a ten-inch erection. I am still unsure if a third person will be involved. I was expecting a local person, instead I...

Sheila 23

----------------- Ruslan (short blonde hair, 6'7'') – Leader Serafima (dark red head) - support/medical Karina (blonde Hair) - Sharpshooter sniper Timur (Dark hair 5'2''} - computer/hacker expert Egor- Electronics expert - killed in a firefight Stas - Explosives expert - killed in a firefight Pibald group ------------ Evelyn (Auburn hair) - Leader former wife of General Gance/sniper Christine/Chris (blonde) - personal combat expert- Evelyn's daughter Trina (redhead) - Tall...

The Other Side of Me Part Three

The Other Side of Me - Part Three by Limbo's Mistress By the time Katie had put on some clothes and made her way downstairs to the kitchen, I'd managed to recompose myself enough to have a couple of hot slices of reheated pizza plated up and sitting on the table waiting for consumption. The cans that had dropped to the floor were replaced with a couple of unshaken ones, each resting beside a plate. My sister, now clad in a pair of yoga pants not too dissimilar from my own, bounced...

Fun With Bob Part 2 Fuck Toy

Me and Bob love women. We also love cocks and cumshots. We prefer to combine all three. For us there is nothing like watching another man stimulated to orgasm, seeing (and feeling) a hard cock ejaculating over someone else, watching sperm spurting across a face, open mouth, tits, hand, or anywhere else for that matter. We are aroused by the feeling of its slippery wetness against skin – the perfect lube for a full body massage. In this story, 'Bob’s Fuck Toy' – an old friend of his (and...

Incredible ChangesChapter 217 Trains Busses Cars Oh My

At least she got a quick nap on the way. The drive to Segovia barely took an hour at this time of night. Our driver knew exactly where to take us, so there was no wandering around trying to find our hotel. I had finished getting the luggage inside and went out to tip the driver only to find he was already gone. Elena stayed awake long enough to make it up to the room, strip, pee, brush, her teeth and fall into bed. April needed a bath, so I filled the tub and enjoyed a nice long soak with...

Kaise Bana Ma Playboy

Hello dosto………Mera naam aditya ha. Ma meerut ka rehane vala hu. Aur abhi nokri ki vajha se delhi me rahta hu meri age 22 sal ha hight 5”9’ ha Ma bhi aapni ek sachi ghatna aap sab ke sath saire karna chata hu. Jis ne mari zindagi he badal di or ma ek play boy ban gya . To dosto aap logo ko jyada born a karte hue sedha store par ata hu ye bat 3 month phale ke ha jab meri delhi me job lagi to ma rahne ke liye yha aa gya. Mane delhi me he room la liya tha. 1 month to ase he chla gya . fir mujhe...

Story written by WilStrike about my sexy wife

Written by WilStrikeThanks....I'd love for your sexy wife to wrap her extra long nails nails around my engorged cock.....my member is perpetually semi erect, thick, veiny, with pre cum oozing from the tip. I had a date recently with this sexy babe I met at the beach, she was SI swim suite model material. Tall, tight bod, long legs, nice tight boobs. She look fantastic in her tiny, barely there bikini. Well she spotted the bulge in my swim trunks and thought that she could handle me easily,...

Dinner

You stare at the ceiling, lying on your back, thinking ‘How did I get myself into this?’ Your brain is still a little fuzzy, so you strain the think back. You setup another meeting with me by email the other day. I said I was going to be in town on a business trip and that we should get together for dinner. Acting nonchalant online, but with your heart pounding in your chest, you said that sounded like a great idea. I had been working on you pretty hard, trying to convince you to make another...

Land of Smiles and Happy Endings Handjob Series

Do you know the story of Dominique Strauss-Kahn? He was an IMF head who on a visit to New York had a go with a maid at his hotel. It was a temptation that DSK should have resisted, because the maid claimed to have been assaulted. He beat the criminal rap, but lost his job, had to pay out a cash settlement and his political aspirations were finished. What happened? I haven’t a clue. Like many no doubt, I had a sense of schadenfreude about the whole thing. Well before today’s confabulation...

Reluctance

Destiny s RoadChapter 51

Jonathan called the next day, just to let us know he still didn't know anything. It was nice of him to call, but it didn't keep me from feeling like we were in limbo, waiting to find out what happened. For a full week Emily went 'radio silent', with no real news coming from anywhere, not even from Jonathan. It seemed likely the DA would decline to prosecute her for the death of her father, citing self-defense; but he was still considering the investigation, and hadn't made a decision...

Not an ordinary tennis practice

Being 18 years old and having to be out on the tennis courts five days a week every week since the age of 7, I was beginning to realize just how bored I was getting with the sport.Sure, my plans to go professional were still in tact -- I'd been working myself to death with the hope that one day I'll be the best player in the world.But at that moment, I was just tired.My practice sessions ranged in various ways: be it who I hit with, who I trained with, what I did in practice, how much I ran,...

SisLovesMe Tana Waters My Stepsis Is Curious

My stepsister, Tana Waters, has always been a little nosy, but when I catch her sneaking around my room and fingering my pocket pussy, she’s taken it too far. I try to get it back, but she drops it on the floor and breaks it! I guess Tana’s going to have to suck my cock to make up for it. I love her blowjob skills so much that I can’t help but shove my mouth in her cock while she’s resting a couple days later. And when she buys me a brand-new pocket pussy, she lets me fuck the new toy and then...

xmoviesforyou

My War in FactChapter 5 Call to Duty

My arrival at my duty assignment in Germany initially turned out glorious and every person, the few standby personnel at the Kaserne, had a great time on me, my skills and my busy “bratwurst”. But now it was time to go find out what my real duties were. The Army had returned. I was told to report to the Communication Center, to talk the NCO in charge. I would be assigned to my work whatever that might be. The Army was back in town and the Merrell Barracks Kaserne was loaded with armor,...

Perfect

Sitting in his father's cabin at his favorite lake outside of town, he thought back over the past year. How had it come to this? How could he have let his life take the path that he was on now? The world he had known had been crumbling around him for the better part of three months. Now the situation he found himself in was irreversible. All he wanted was to turn back the clock, but that clock was worn and broken, just like his once promising life. Thinking back to that defining moment almost...

3sum With Decent Couple Ke Sath Me At Jaipur

Hello Dosto bahut time baad aapke samne ek story lekar aaya hu mene pahali story likhi thi “Jaipur me huee Sali se masti” jiska acha response bhi mila tha mujhe or mail abhi bhi aati h mujhe. Kher me Jaipur se hu Dhruvraj. Apni iss real story par aata hu jo abhi last week hi huee h mere sath me. Actually mene sex me kuch change ke liye face book par couples ke sath me chat ki par jyadatar couples only cpl to cpl hi sex karna chahte the. But me sadi suda hone ke bawjud single hi tha bcase wife...

Mother In Law Asked To Fuck My Father In Law

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MomPOV Charlee Hot MILF with wild sex drive

– 39 years of age single MILF – She was referred to us by a past MomPov model – Has always wanted to do porn and loves being watched – She said it makes her wet knowing guys jerk to her video – Most guys she fucks can’t keep up with her, she wears them out – She is a squirter, usually squirts when getting throat fucked – We defiantly made her squirt more then once in this video – Has always been very sexual and started at a very young age – She was once DP’d on a pool table at a keg party as a...

xmoviesforyou

Three some Switch

Three-some Switch Part 1 by Switch-Guy (Revised v3) Synopsis: Two couples are together for dinner after a day of bike riding. A body switching machine makes things interesting that evening. ************************************************ This is the first installment in the Three-Some Switch story arc. The order to read the installments is: 1) (This one) Three-Some Switch Part 1 2) Three-Some Switch Back Story Part 1 3) Three-Some Switch Back Story Part 2 4) Three-Some...

Jasper s Scene

I was in the park, my usual spot for a warm Sunday afternoon. It was nice and clean after a long week of spring rains, everything had turned green and the sky scrubbed blue. Not a cloud in it. And I'd found a good spot near an old beech tree to put my big quilt comforter. It was old and a bit ragged, a classic patchwork of fabrics hand stitched by my own grandmother before I was even born. I loved that comforter and sat on it happily, pulling my long skirt down my legs and finding a well worn...

White on Black ABS rim

I was getting so turned-on watching a gay locker room video on XHAMSTER that I had to turn it off in order to try for some action on my own. So I headed out to the local ABS to see what might happen.When I arrived I discovered a line-up at the counter. It seemed that the clerk had forgotten his password and couldn’t log into the cash register. As a number of us squirmed around playing pocket pool, the clerk decided to say if we were there for the arcade we could just go on in. That saved me...

Runaway TrainChapter 41

We were still talking to Susan when I heard the door open and Chris’s voice. “She wanted to show this to you,” he said. “Hey, Travis. Hey, Liz.” “Hey,” we said in unison. Susan handed him the phone while she inspected Amber’s handiwork. I heard her say that it was beautiful. “Do you want to say hello to your new niece?” Chris asked. “Of course,” I said. “Hey, Sweetie, your Uncle Travis and Aunt Liz want to say hi,” I heard him say. “Hewo, Uncle Twavis and Aunt Wiz,” I heard a little...

Deja Vu AscendancyChapter 239 Exam Week s Monday

Monday, June 13, 2005 I woke up two and a half hours later and got out of bed, missing the inconvenience of having to climb over a girl. I wouldn't be sleeping with Carol until our parents gave their consent, and Ava would presumably be sleeping at her home during exam week. It was going to feel unpleasantly strange sleeping with either Julia or no one, especially the latter option. When I wake up between two girls, I now have a way of getting out of bed that doesn't involve any...

Naked in School the Cumming of a LegendChapter 11

Tiffany Stallman: We worked out a schedule between the two groups to get together as often as possible to practice up for the main event. I talked the girls into giving the guys a makeover, and I have to say the results were well beyond my original expectations. I knew Brian was still worried about how everyone would react to being naked in public, so I talked the group into having a program support day in which we would all show up to school naked. I'm sure you can only imagine the...

A Million Dollar Nightss

I m studying in Kota & preparing for Iit-Jee 2009 this incident took place last year when i went to my Aunt’s (mothers sister) house during summer vacation. My cousin brother is working in a call centre & is usually at work at night. When ever i used to go to my aunt’s home my bhabhi use to talk to me about the problems in their house and i used to listen it showing my keen interest in it. One night when my uncle & aunt had gone to SHIMLA on their 25th wedding anniversary my aunt was alone with...

Incest

Calvin in the Park

The park is full of people walking and jogging past Calvin. He's minding his own business reading the newspaper. Some of the people passing by are looking at him in a strange way, some giggling. Calvin has been enjoying hte view of all the women jogging past him, with their tits bouncing up and down.Calvin has been trying not to watch, but his hormones say otherwise, with his dick growing in his trousers and the beads of sweat on his forehead. calvin has put the newspaper over the top of...

forced to fuck 2

so i meet tht guy again when i was sitting sitting outside getting high he walked over to me and said "hey get up its time for me to fuck" i said no and tht i didn't care if he told everyone tht i was gay and tht he's not going to fuck me again. he said no bitch get up know your going to let me fuck or im going to fuck u by force.i stood up and pushed him away and walked inside i really he to take a piss so i walked in one restrooms i didn't know at the time but he followed me and this time he...

A Classic Car and a Classic Fuck

I'd been a petrol head since my early teens and, even if I say so myself was a pretty good mechanic. Well my neighbours must have thought so as it was always me that they called on when they were having problems. I was way cheaper than the local garages but still made enough to by my first car, a Vauxhall Cresta PA, as soon as I turned eighteen, the nearest thing I could afford to an American car. It was my pride and joy and I'd customised it to the hilt. White side wall tyres, black vinyl...

Not just another day dressing up as Gemma

Not just another day dressing up as Gemma Marks and Spencer is a wonderful shop. Their gorgeous lingerie is worn by so many women. They sell some wonderful dresses, skirts and blouses too. I often wear their women's clothes and derive a huge amount of pleasure from doing so. That paragraph could have been written by thousands of women living in the UK, however I'm not a woman. My name is Gemma and I'm a Transvestite or if you like, A Crossdresser. I'd even own up to being something...

Blood of the Clans Ch 28

Grayson rose with the first, silver streaks of morning sun blazing into his eyes. He squinted and rolled over, moving away from the beckoning call to awake. He felt the pounding effects of whisky and ale in his head and knew he had drank far too much for his own good. As nature started calling him, he rose and emptied himself into the chamber pot, then contemplated returning to bed, but thoughts of Heather found their way into his head and he relished them happily. One thing that sat foremost...

inspired by lesbian cop f70 part 2

we pick up this scene at the 9:09 mark of this vid clip: http://xhamster.com/movies/290840/lesbian_cop...f70.html---Little did I know that I wouldn't have very long to bask in the moment of the first time a woman had ever made me cum. No sooner had the waves of pleasure finished riding over me than I found myself being forced into a new position by the petite, blonde officer.She leaned against the car and took of her belt. With me facing her, still handcuffed, she put her hand on my shoulder...

Swinging gone to the dogs

Amy's pussy was soaking wet from being eaten out by our three year old golden retriever, Bella. Usually, at this point, Bella's pussy was also dripping with my cum and I was recouperating for round two with my beautiful, petite, dark-haired, blue eyed wife but this time was different. Tomorrow we were going to embark on a kinky journey that would take us well outside the bedroom and expand our horizons like nothing ever before. We'd started swinging with Tom and Jenna a few months back and...

The Beginning Part 4

All you can eat ChineseKaren and I have been doing the family thing for the past couple of months. When together as a family Karen will dress like how a plump married mother should. In this mode we do visit her mother who always bugs her to lose some weight. I always tell mother-in-law it will take a lot more than a little extra weight before I would leave her daughter. If mother in law would know the truth…… Any way mother-in-law offered to watch the baby next weekend if Karen and I wanted a...

Kara Grows Up Early Teens

Kara's mother had been killed in a car wreck less than two years earlier. Shortly after, Kara and her father, (she was an only child), had tried to escape the memories of the tragedy by moving across town. Their new house was not much larger than what they had before, but the lots in this part of town were spacious, generally an acre or more. The new house also had a swimming pool and gazebo. Although Kara had left her old friends behind, she acquired a new one, Tommy, the boy who lived...

Park Bench Slut

Lucy had to admit that it was a ritual now for her to take her little paperback book and her sandwich down to the tiny park across the street from her place of employment and pass a pleasant hour each day nibbling on her lunch and reading some of the hot erotica in her romantic erotica novels. She could usually read about two or three chapters each day which was decidedly slow but she liked to go back and read some passages a second time if they make her tingle in a special way between her...

Economy

“Keep your voice down,” Zach hissed forcefully. “You’ll wake her up ... if you haven’t already.” He was fighting a losing battle to calm down the naked blonde. Everything had been going perfectly until she started in on Jamey again. He wished he could turn the clock back about twenty minutes, when they were still chest deep in his swimming pool, her lithe legs encircling him while he lifted and plunged her onto his rigid cock, guiding her slight weight with broad hands over her petite round...

Such Sweet SorrowChapter 7 Moscow Nights February

A Ride on the Metro Professor Angela Dawney is in Moscow. She is walking from the Hotel Tatiana, along Stremyanniy Pereulok towards the Paveletskaya Metro Station. It's cold and grey - minus 5 degrees, Angela guesses - but at least there is no wind chill - and besides, she's wrapped up warm. In her heavy coat and fur hat, she's indistinguishable from any of the Russians sharing the street with her. Angela is in the city to attend an academic conference. It's on something she knows a lot...

High School Sissy

Even when growing up I always seem to be on the fem side, my shapewas more of a girls shape then a boys. As I was growing up my parents wouldalways dress me clothes that were stuff that a boy would wear, because ifthey dressed me in something that was sex neutral I be mistaken as a littlegirl. As I got a little older I liked being a boy since jerking off wasalways fun. But when I was alone I find a way to get into my older sistersroom and try on here clothes. By the time I was 16 I have to say...

Memories of A gayboy prt 1

Introduction: New story! Check it out On April 15,2005 I became the person Ive always wanted to be. I had just arrived at my parents house for dinner and decided it was the right time to tell them. As you can imagine coming out of the closet on your sisters birthday can be a party crasher. I couldnt continue living a lie. My mother greeted me with the usual hug and a kiss on the cheek. Same routine for the past few years. My father on the other hand just nodded his head and said hello. Weve...

Being Asked to Breed a White Married Woman Chapter Three

As we started down the hall I stopped and turned to look at both Cathy and Jim. Jim had a look of shock on his face which caused me to ask, “Jim, you are ok with this, right?”He stared at me but no words could come out of his mouth. Looking into his eyes I was sure he wanted this but at the same time, he really didn’t want it here in his home.I looked at Cathy and asked, “Are you going to join us?” She nodded her head and stood to move to us and Jim also stood. I thought, ‘Here it comes. He is...

Wife Lovers

Peter Is 18 My First Trip Away From Home BeijingChapter 9

My day goes down hill from there. The city, naturally, reminds Barbara of Vietnam and Korea. Which in turn brings up Iraq. Then human rights and US human rights, race relations and all things political. I'm not opinionated; I just have my own opinion. I don't understand the problem with that. Finally, on our way back to the ship, Barb refers to "white people" once too often. "Alright, look. Is this uh problem for you?" "Is what a problem for me?" "Me bein' uh white...

End Of Day One At The Seminar

We finished day one of our seminar and decided to hit a watering hole in the French Quarter. Kitty and Red hadn’t brought club clothes but man these woman could work with what god gave them. Kitty donned a low cut blouse and her ample bosom was exploding out. She added some glittery powder and her chest sparkled when light hit it. Red, on the other hand, hiked her skirt up and rolled the waist band shortening her skirt until her shapely legs popped. Damn I wanted them, but they had plans, they...

The Private Game Ch 3

Mike arrived home shortly. He was apprehensive about what he would find. He was relieved to see Lynn in the kitchen fixing a salad. He saw Chuck on the deck. Lynn had on one of his favorite outfits. Did she just put it on or did she wear it to the airport? If so, then she has had a few hours to give Chuck a show.He walked over to her and gave her a hug so he could feel one of her breasts. Did Chuck get to feel them?He addressed Lynn, "Hi, sweetie sorry I took so long but we had to get that...

Wife Lovers

I Managed The Part time Maid Noori

Hi ISS readers, I think all you know me. For the new readers, at first I introduce myself. I am Moni, late 40 and 5’-7”. I was born in a middle class Bangladeshi Muslim family and serving in a public organization. My whole life is lustful indeed. As I gained some practical experience about sex at my childhood, I became a sex-maniac and whenever I got chance I tried to fuck any aged girls or women with many tricks without applying force or at least to peep the uncovered boobs and pussies from...

My sister I part 2

This is the follow up story to the first part that I told of the "sexual" experiences I shared with my younger sister Melissa as we grew up. I hope everyone enjoyed my first story and enjoys this one as well. The next time I remember doing anything we were at my grandparents house, which I now live in with my parents. It was early in the afternoon and we both slept downstairs while the parents and grandparents were all upstairs. Our parents were still sleeping and I knew our grandparents...

The Wife s promotion

With the last few items shoved into my clothing bag, I zipped it up and placed it along with my wife's into our car. Going back inside I walked into the kitchen where Joyce, my wife, was finishing up her breakfast. "Ready for the trip?" I asked her. With a mouth full of food she smiled and nodded. We were on our way this morning to a nice resort hotel a few hours away. My wife works in sales for a large national company and for the past year, she had done well and had been invited to the...

Journey into the PastChapter 7 Tackling an Idea

The journey back was uneventful, and we found the place was exactly as we had left it. We arrived back too at the right time as there was rain in the air and looked like a storm was on the way. I only hoped that it would keep away until Jane got Hild scrubbed up. The first thing I did was light both the fires, the one in our boiler and the cooking fire, as I was beginning to feel a bit hungry. While I was doing this Jane got out the 'Compo Packs' (for my American readers MRE Meals Ready to...

A Love So Beautiful

I was your typical 22-year-old college graduate... broke, desperate for work, and dreading the inevitability of repaying my college loans. With a useless degree in English Literature, my prospects for a good paying job were minimal at best. A few of my close girlfriends had tried dancing to make ends meet, and I was constantly being begged to give it a shot. While I never considered myself a prominently radiant woman, I was just becoming comfortable with my Spanish features (think Reubenesque)...

Soviet Escape Plan Part 2

I peered outside attempting to find my bearings, attempting to find any visage of what I had called home. Instead, I was greeted with a snowy landscape, hills sitting righteously in the distance, snow lying alone on the ground. The only landmark offsetting this otherwise bleak and uninspiring scene was a barn sitting about five yards from where I was now in. From its appearance it had seen many years of service, with only remnants of fading red pain coating a largely bare wood exterior....

My Sister s Thong

{if GM==1}[Thanks for setting GAME MODE on.]{[email protected] GM==0}[NOTE: GAME MODE is required to make this function correctly!]{endif} {if GM==1}Hi, I'm John. I just turned 18 yesterday. As far as I can recall, I've been living with my sister, Julia, for my entire life. Not that I hate living with her-- I actually enjoy it. She's four years my senior. We usually get along fine, except when she acts like my mom. I lost my mom in a boating accident, I was 6 years old back then-- that's what...

Gangbang Party

Als die achtzehnjährige, blondlockige Melanie den Partykeller betritt, dauert es einige Sekunden lang, bis ihre Augen sich nach dem hellen Sommerlicht an das Halbdunkel des Raumes gewöhnt haben. Rechts neben dem Eingang ist eine kleine Bar mit diversen Flaschen Alkoholika aufgebaut, links von ihr stehen diverse HiFi-Geräte auf einem Tisch. In der Mitte des Raumes tanzen mehrere Pärchen engumschlungen im langsamen Rhythmus eines Schmuse-Songs. An den übrigen Wänden des Raumes stehen diverse...

REAL CUCKOLD GANGBANG STORY AT THE ADULT BOOKSTORE

ive recieved numerous emails lately asking for more stories and i have so many REAL sex stories to tell that its incredible sometimes for me to remember them all. heres a TRUE story of an adult bookstore my husband took me to one day to have the gangbang of my life!one day me and my husband wanted to check out an old adult bookstore that is right in the middle of downtown where we live. tons of guys go in there, go right to the back of the store in the private booths and jack off to porn, some...

The Janitor Part 4

Those were the words he heard from the dream he lad last night. It was so terrifyingly wierd that he actually woke up in cold sweat. That voice. That same voice he heard since he found that wonderful thing that gave him his powers. It came back again, like some haunting from those scary movies he always watched late at night. Thing was that he was to busy fucking his new fuck toy Kelly April to watch any movie that night He didnt even sleep any later since he was so exhausted from cumming so...

Mamta Ko Peheli Bar Choda

Meri age 22 hi or me ek private company me job krta ho.. Me iss last 2 year se padh rha ho..Ab sidhe story pr aate hi.. Mamta ki. Age ab 21 hi or uska figure 34-28-30 hi … Or rang ek dum angrejo jaisa.. Mamta or mera relation chl rha tha ki ek.Din mujhe moka mila use kis krne ka… Maine bhi soch liya aaj to.Kiss krke hi rhonga.. Kyuki.Usse phele maine kbhi kisi ladki.Ko kis nhi kiya tha. Ye baat hi 12 september 2013 ki tb uske ghr vale 2 din k.Liye gau gy the. To usne mujhe bola ki aaj raat aap...

The Transformation Rock

The Transformation Rock By Zedd I found the rock in the creek. A curious thing it was so I took it home. It almost seemed to me to glow. It was only about the size of a half a roll of dimes, a small thing, easily carried in a pocket, which is where I carried it, and had a peculiar greenish tinge to it. I didn't discover it had powers until later. My name's Jack and I'm 17 years old, and still a virgin. Not my plan but, well, what's a guy to do when you're not good looking enough...

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