Naked in School Homer
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Finding Home
by Bob W.
Sometimes it seems to me that destiny, fate, God, depending on how you tend to
refer to it, has a very twisted way of working things. Most of us spend much of
our lives searching. Half the time we have no idea what we are searching for,
yet we continue to push onward. That funny twist comes when that thing we were
searching for finally shows itself and we then realize it had been there all
along. Such has been the case for me and the home I have finally found.
I had no idea how destiny was in control my freshman year of high school.
Middle school had been tough, the usual pubescent torture chamber, but it did
not prepare me for the horror of my first year as a high school student.
I attended a small town high school in the middle of the country, one of those
places where everyone knows everyone, yet it was large enough that things could
happen without everyone knowing it. It was the mid-70's, a time when we were
just beginning to hear about the "homasexshuls" in New York or San Francisco.
Gay on television and in movies was presented as comic relief, something to
scare the hell out of the macho hero. Being called gay was the ultimate insult
at my high school
At that time, I had not quite hit the growth spurt that comes with puberty, so
I was a small, thin, frail boy. I had my own crew of friends, but we were
somewhat the outcasts, the "geeks" as some referred to us. I was also the
target of much teasing from some of the older boys, mostly athletic types, in
our school. It hurt even more that some of these boys were seen as leaders and
role models by most of the teachers, while my friends and I appeared not even
to exist. That teasing soon grew into my being labeled gay by my tormentors. Of
course I argued back, no way was I gay, don't call me a fag. My close friends
even began to find it all very funny. School was hell, I dreaded every moment
of it.
Then one day, something amazing occurred. I had been sent out of class to
deliver a message to the office. As I walked alone down one long, lonely
corridor, I encountered four of my worst tormentors. Before I realized what was
happening, they had me cornered against the lockers with no way out. Then the
verbal assault began.
"Hey fag, going to see your boyfriend?"
"Have you sucked anyone off today?"
"How come you act like a fag?"
"Damn gayboy, I ought to beat the fag right out of you!"
And so it went for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was only a few
minutes. I fought back tears the entire time, but could not find the words to
answer any of their asinine statements. I knew anything I said would only make
things worse, yet my silence only seemed to infuriate them even more.
"Hey guys, got some trouble there?" a deep, almost angry voice spoke out. I got
a glimpse from the speaker as the four bullies turned around guiltily.
"Uh, no Coach," one of them began. "We were just--" he continued but was not
allowed to finish as Coach interrupted.
"Then why don't you let this young man get on his way," Coach said to the boys.
Turning to me he said, "You should be in class, shouldn't you?"
Finding my voice, I replied, "I was going to the office to deliver a message."
Coach stepped between the boys and me and said, "Then head on that way and get
back to class. There shouldn't be any more problems here." He smiled at me in a
way that made me feel safe for the first time in a long time, with his blue
eyes sparkling in a way that said he understood how I felt. As I walked away, I
heard Coach really letting the others have it.
Coach Williams had only been at our school for one year. He was twenty-eight,
fresh out of college after a short stint in the military. I never knew much of
his personal life, but I would come to appreciate Coach for the rest of my
years in high school. He was one of the few teachers that really seemed to
notice the "geeks" like me. He took care of us guys and girls that were
misfits. Coach was also great at his job. As I saw on that day, he demanded a
standard of excellence from his athletes. This won him almost as many enemies
as it did allies among his students, and even some teachers and parents. It
seems where I grew up, that there was a natural "pecking order" which was
supposed to make us boys toughen up. Coach Williams fought against that.
At graduation, I wanted to see a few teachers, but Coach Williams was top on my
list. It wasn't until I stepped up to say goodbye that I began to realize how
much he meant to me. His blue eyes showed that same sparkle as he congratulated
me on finishing school. I thanked him for all his help. He reached out to shake
hands as I felt a lump in my throat. I became very confused, wondering just
what I was feeling. Coach simply shook my hand firmly, but tenderly. He smiled
and wished me good luck and then turned to speak to other students. For a
moment I was stunned, not knowing what to think. Friends finally came along as
we headed off to celebrate. Still, I could not shake the growing question in my
mind. Just how much did Coach Williams mean to me?
Years passed as I floundered around, living with my parents, getting into, and
then dropping out of college. It seemed that I could not find the place where I
belonged. I thought of Coach Williams often, but would push away any thoughts
that I had been in love. After all, I was a good Christian boy. How could I be
gay?
I finally completed college and became a teacher. I guess deep down I knew this
was because of Coach, but still I knew that I was not gay.
To prove that fact, I started dating the first girl I met after beginning my
first teaching job back home. I was back in the old familiar surrounding,
feeling safe and comfortable. I enjoyed teaching and enjoyed having a
girlfriend. We even talked of getting married. As far as I was concerned, that
settled the matter of being gay. I couldn't be gay if I was going to get
married.
Then, after about a year, the romance fell a part. The blame belongs to both,
but I know that I started the beginning of the end. Things just didn't seem
right. I wasn't happy with her. Any form of "making out" seemed like a chore
for me. But, that wasn't because I was gay. That was because I wasn't ready to
settle down.
After a few more years in familiar surroundings, I decided to venture out and
head west. While living on the coast, I began to come to terms with who I was.
All that denial, all of the self-loathing didn't change a thing. I was gay. It
felt good, I felt free. Yet I was still afraid to venture out and date. I still
had to endure the brainwashing of a conservative Christian upbringing. I could
be gay, but I just had to spend my life alone so God would not be angry with
me. I spent many long lonely nights. Often on those nights, my thoughts would
turn to Coach Williams. I knew then he was my first "crush." I wondered where
he was and how he was doing.
Time moved along quickly until one day I found myself approaching forty. Having
never been with a man, I had come to accept the fact that I was meant to live
my life alone, being a "confirmed bachelor." I also decided to move back closer
to home. No one there would ever know or even think I was gay. My "ugly secret"
would be safe.
I found work at a small town high school, about 150 miles from where I had
grown up. The school was new and growing, so they were screaming for teachers.
In fact, the interview process moved so quickly that I only met with the
school's principal for ten minutes before he said I was hired. He told me I
would meet the assistant principal at our first meeting. I got settled in and
looked forward to a new year.
At that first meeting, the principal was walking around introducing the
assistant principal to all of us new hires. I watched this quietly from a
distance, talking to some of the others I would be teaching with that year. I
had my back turned as I felt the principal's hand on my shoulder. He said,
"Bob, I would like you to meet our assistant principal, Jim Williams." I turned
to find an amazing sight.
"Coach Williams?" I said tentatively, still recognizing the sparkle in those
beautiful blue eyes.
He looked at me for a moment then said, "Why Bobby, Bobby..." and trailed off
trying to remember my last name.
"Bob Perry, " I said helping out. Coach took my hand with that same grip I
remember from graduation.
"Bobby, I mean Bob, was a student at the school where I had my first job,"
Coach explained to the principal. We did the small talk and catch up thing.
Coach informed me that he was now Mr. Williams, but I should call him Jim. I
told him that it might be hard to switch from Coach, we laughed, and then he
moved on to meet others. I stood stunned, feeling many old feeling rush back in
to me.
I have no idea what was said at that meeting when Coach was talking. After
years of denying who I was, I left it all rush over me in that one afternoon. I
found myself very attracted to Coach. He was older and even more handsome. He
was still just a little taller than me, even though I had grown since high
school. He had put on weight and his hair was going gray, both of which made
him that much more attractive. And those eyes, those blue eyes still sparkled
when he smiled.
The school year moved along quickly as they so often do. Coach and I had some
time to catch up. I told him of my move west and return and he told me how he
had decided to enter administration, but wanted a new school to do it in. He
had been assistant principal for going on four years.
One Friday, as the month of March was bringing along spring, Coach and I were
having lunch by ourselves. The conversation had slowed when Coach asked, "So,
you aren't married, are you?"
"No," I replied, feeling a little nervous. "I dated a girl fairly seriously,
but that was a few years ago. I guess I am not quite over her." To me the lie
was obvious, say that instead of saying I was gay. "How about you?" I asked,
turning the tables.
"I married, not too long after you graduated," Coach said. "We were divorced
after three and a half years. Nice girl, but I guess it wasn't meant to be."
"And you haven't remarried then?" I asked, wanting to keep the conversation on
him.
"No," he said. "I guess marriage isn't for me."
Just then the bell rang, signaling the beginning of my next class. "Well," I
said, "off to work."
Coach smiled and said, "Enjoyed talking to you as always. Have a great
afternoon." He turned and walked away. As I watched him go, I felt the desire I
had felt since first seeing him again. I also let myself play with the idea of
what he meant when he said that marriage wasn't for him.
That afternoon, as I left school, I saw Coach walking out to the running track
that is a part of our school. He was wearing a t-shirt, running shorts, and
sneakers.
"Wow, this looks serious," I said. "Looks like someone is going to get some
exercise!"
"Yes, I try to walk a few laps every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday," Coach
said. "Doesn't keep me in great shape, but it keeps me in better shape than
sitting behind the desk all day."
"I know what you mean, " I replied. "I could use some exercise myself."
"You're welcome to join me," Coach said. "Bring your workout stuff and we can
walk some laps on Monday."
"I think I will," I said. Coach said goodbye and headed for the track as I
headed to my car. I couldn't resist having one last look before driving away. I
had always seen him in a suit. To see him wearing those shorts was quite a
treat. All weekend long he kept crossing my mind. Monday during the day I saw
Coach only once. "Don't forget, be at the track after school. You can change in
the guys' locker room. No one will be using it."
After school, I headed to the locker room. Coach was leaving as I was going in.
"I'll meet you out at the track, " he said.
I have to admit, I was a little let down as I changed in the locker room. I had
hoped he would be changing at the same time I was. I took off my clothes and
stood naked for a moment, wondering what it would be like to have him see me
naked. I shook the thought and began dressing in my workout clothes. I caught
up with Coach at the track and we walked our laps.
As we finished, Coach said, "I have a couple of things to do in my office
before I head home."
I said I would go ahead to the locker room and change, again feeling
disappointed that our paths would not cross. In the locker room I tried to
stall for time, but became afraid that things would appear obvious. I went
ahead and dressed and was walking out the door as he came in.
"I think I need a shower!" he said as he came in.
I was afraid my face would show the disappointment that I had not waited just a
few moments more.
"I am heading out," I said. "See you tomorrow."
"Alright, " Coach said. "Have a nice evening."
Right before I turned to leave, Coach took off his shirt. It was all I could do
not to stare at his bare chest covered in soft gray hair. He didn't seem to
mind that I saw this, but still I was afraid my reactions were too obvious.
As soon as I stepped out the locker room door, I regretted my decision. The
fact was I wanted to see more. I stood for a while, trying to think of some
ruse to go back into the locker room. Finally, my heart beating loudly, I
quietly opened the door just a bit to peek in.
I could hear water running but could not see Coach. I was just about to close
the door and leave when he appeared carrying a towel and wearing only his
running shorts. I let the door close a little bit, hoping he would not see me
looking in. Coach laid the towel on a bench then, with his back to me, took off
his shorts. There he was standing completely naked in front of me. I felt my
heart ache at how beautiful he was. Broad shoulders, his sides showing a hint
of the stomach he carried. I watched as his fleshy behind bounced slightly as
walked toward the shower. I was just about to close the door when he walked
back to get the towel, giving me full view of his naked front. His chest and
stomach were perfect, as was his crotch. He wasn't too big or too little. He
picked up the towel, stood for a moment, as if he was showing me himself on
purpose, then turned and walked back to the shower giving me another look at
that wonderful backside.
I then let the door close and all but ran to my car. All the way home I tried
to keep those beautiful images fresh and alive. I hit the door to my apartment,
throwing my things down and tearing off my clothes at the same time. Naked, I
ran into the bathroom and kneeled at the toilet. I was already quite hard, so
it only took a few jerks before I came. It was very intense, picturing Coach's
naked body. I sat on the floor, trying to catch my breath for a moment. I went
back into the apartment to pick things up, after which I decided to shower.
Standing in the shower, I began to think of what I had seen. It didn't take
long again before I found myself hard. This time I had more self-control, so I
had more time to think of Coach. Amazingly enough, I was able to repeat the
whole thing after dinner and a little TV. I went to bed tired and sore.
The next day on the way to school, I felt that little pang of guilt that always
seemed to accompany any thoughts I had of sex. My thought that Coach had wanted
me to see him had turned to the paranoid fact that he knew I had seen him and
then also knew what I had done when I got home. Because of this, I avoided any
contact with him during the day.
It was just after school, when Coach walked into my empty classroom. "You still
up for some laps tomorrow?" he asked.
I looked up into those blue eyes and that wonderful smile. "Sure," I said.
"Great," he began, "be sure to bring your stuff!"
By Wednesday afternoon, I could hardly concentrate on anything. All I could
think about was what had happened Monday night. Would it happen again, I
wondered. I was disappointed to find him already done changing in the locker
room when I arrived. I changed and headed to the track.
I was surprised to find myself not thinking too much about the possibilities of
the locker room as we walked our laps. Our conversation was wonderful. I began
to tell Coach about my years in college as he told me about his time in the
military. We continued to walk and talk for quite sometime until Coach said,
"Well, I guess it is about time to head in."
"It is getting late," I replied.
As we were walking in, Coach said, "You know, when the k**s are all gone, I
enjoy taking a shower here at school instead of waiting until I get home.
You're welcome to shower as well if you want." My heart began beating so loudly
I was sure he would hear. "I think I will," I managed to say.
In the locker room, I nervously began to undress. Here it was, happening like I
had imagined it. We made small talk as I tried hard to play the "look without
looking like I am looking" game. It was almost not fun as I concentrated on
self-control and not letting myself show too much excitement. Coach had
completely stripped down and I was wearing only my shorts when he said, "I'll
go get us some towels." He walked away, leaving me to stare at his naked
backside again. After he had gone, I took off my shorts and walked naked into
the large shower room. Coach returned with the towels and joined me in the
shower. We made small talk and I became more relaxed. Coach never seemed uneasy
at all.
After what seemed like all to short a time, Coach said, "We should probably get
dressed. The night crew will be in here cleaning soon." Reluctantly I followed
him out of the shower. We both dressed and walked to our cars. On the way out,
as we talked, I could feel Coach standing close to me. I enjoyed his closeness,
the sound of his voice, and the pictures of him in my mind both clothed and
naked. I also felt content that he had seen me naked as well.
As I got to my car, Coach turned and said, "Now don't forget, we also walk on
Friday night!" He smiled that wonderful smile, his eyes sparkling.
I spoke to Coach a few times on Thursday. He caught me by surprise as I stood
in our workroom running copies. No one else was around as he came up behind and
said quietly, "On Friday, the cleaning crew and everyone else is gone fairly
early. We won't have to hurry so much if we don't want too."
His face was very close to mine as I found my breath to say, "OK." That was all
I could manage. He smiled that amazing smile as he put his arm around me and
gave a quick squeeze before he left. I stood at the copy machine trying to
recall what I had been doing as everything was wiped from my mind.
Friday after school was the same routine. He was already out at the track while
I was changing. I wondered about this until I caught up with him. As if reading
my mind, he began to explain. "Lots of people around here like to talk," he
said. "I don't like to give them anything to talk about. Seems that a few of
them already have an opinion of me, and they don't really like that opinion.
That is the bad part about being in a small town. Too many people with nothing
better to do than talk without thinking. I just want you to be careful." We
walked for a while in silence as I thought about his words.
After our laps, we headed for the locker room. Again, he was undressed and
naked first, while I still had on my shorts. This time, however, he didn't
leave to get towels, but said, "Go ahead and take off those shorts and let's go
get out towels. We can take our time tonight." I did as he said and we walked
naked together to the towel room.
As he handed me my towel, I turned to walk in front of him back to the shower.
I felt my heart flutter as he spoke.
"Have you lost weight?" he asked. "Either that or you just look different
without any clothes on. Whatever the case, you look great."
I was shocked at his candidness, but very happy to know he was looking at me. I
could feel his eyes moving over my naked backside.
As we stood in the shower, Coach asked, "Would you mind if I asked you to wash
my back?"
"Not at all," I said, taking the soap from him
I began to rub the soap around his shoulders as he said, "That feels good. It
has been too long since anyone has touched me."
Moving down his back, I stopped right at the top of his behind. "If you don't
mind, " he said turning his head to me, "you can go all the way down to my
feet."
"Sure," I think I replied, as I let knelt down. I had never touched a naked man
like this, but had wanted to do so for so long. I soaped his bottom, feeling
the soft flesh, and let my hands run up and down his legs. It was then I was
shocked to find that I had grown very hard.
I stood quickly, scratching myself to try to hide the erection. Coach turned
around and asked, "Do you mind doing the front?"
I continued to hold myself when Coach looked at my crotch and pulled my hand
away, so he could see how stiff I was. "Don't worry about that, " he said. "I
take it as quite a compliment. Why don't you finish washing me then I can do
you?"
I looked up into his eyes and saw a mixture of love and understanding, not too
different than what I had seen all those years ago as a scared freshman. This
time, however, there was a touch of lust, genuine attraction that I never
thought I would see in the eyes of another man.
As I began soaping his chest, he told me of his first time with a man. It had
been while in the military, a long way form home and lonely. He told me how in
college he had been with a couple of different guys, both of whom claimed that
they were not gay, that he was the one with the problem. This experience and
driven him even deeper into the closet, and had influenced his decision to
become a teacher and try to help others that are often picked on. As I
continued to soap his body, he talked about how he married, wanting to hide the
fact that he was gay. At was as if he had wanted for a long time to tell his
story.
I was on my knees in front of him as he finished. Looking up into his eyes, I
saw him smile as I took his member into my hand for the first time. I was
amazed at the feeling it gave me to touch him, to hold him. I stood up as he
pulled me to him, both of us very hard, and held me in a wonderful embrace. As
we parted, he looked down at our erections, smiled and said, "We have to do
something about this."
Coach turned me around so my back was to his front. Wrapping both arms around
my waist, he held me close to him. He then moved his left arm to wrap tightly
around my chest. He lowered his right arm and took my erection into his right
hand. I could feel his erection pressed into the flesh of my backside and my
lower back. His head rested on my right shoulder, with his lips just grazing my
ear.
"I am so glad we are here, " he said as he began to pull on me and rub himself
into my back at the same time. It wasn't long before my body found his rhythm.
We moved in unison, his lips and warm breath caressing my neck as I lay my head
back on his left shoulder.
All too soon I came in a gush of passion. As I went limp in his arms, I kept my
back pressed firmly to him as I could feel he was going to come. I felt a
wonderful moistness erupt on my back. He turned me around then, holding me
close, and kissed me solidly on the lips. We stayed that way for a long time,
our hands caressing each other.
We were quiet as we began to cleanup, as Coach asked, "Any regrets?"
I sat down naked on the floor of the shower. "No. None at all. After denying so
long who I am and what I need, I am amazed to feel so complete, so unashamed."
Coach walked over and sat beside me. "Good. No matter what anyone else may say,
neither of us has anything to be ashamed of."
After we had finished cleaning and were dressing, Coach asked, "Got any plans
for tonight or tomorrow?"
"None at all, " I said with a smile.
"Good," he said, "you are welcome to come my place. There we can relax."
As we got in our cars and I followed him home, I found myself feeling a sense
of peace that I had not dreamed possible.
And so, we are still blessed with that peace. Coach and I continue to see each
other after nine months. We still have to be careful, as others want to talk
about things that are not their business. But it has become fun, those little
winks and smiles at work. It seems that I did find home and it was in a place
where I never expected it. Maybe God, destiny, fate, whatever you want to call
it, is somewhat twisted, but I am glad I followed the winding path.
Finding Home
by Bob W.
Sometimes it seems to me that destiny, fate, God, depending on how you tend to
refer to it, has a very twisted way of working things. Most of us spend much of
our lives searching. Half the time we have no idea what we are searching for,
yet we continue to push onward. That funny twist comes when that thing we were
searching for finally shows itself and we then realize it had been there all
along. Such has been the case for me and the home I have finally found.
I had no idea how destiny was in control my freshman year of high school.
Middle school had been tough, the usual pubescent torture chamber, but it did
not prepare me for the horror of my first year as a high school student.
I attended a small town high school in the middle of the country, one of those
places where everyone knows everyone, yet it was large enough that things could
happen without everyone knowing it. It was the mid-70's, a time when we were
just beginning to hear about the "homasexshuls" in New York or San Francisco.
Gay on television and in movies was presented as comic relief, something to
scare the hell out of the macho hero. Being called gay was the ultimate insult
at my high school
At that time, I had not quite hit the growth spurt that comes with puberty, so
I was a small, thin, frail boy. I had my own crew of friends, but we were
somewhat the outcasts, the "geeks" as some referred to us. I was also the
target of much teasing from some of the older boys, mostly athletic types, in
our school. It hurt even more that some of these boys were seen as leaders and
role models by most of the teachers, while my friends and I appeared not even
to exist. That teasing soon grew into my being labeled gay by my tormentors. Of
course I argued back, no way was I gay, don't call me a fag. My close friends
even began to find it all very funny. School was hell, I dreaded every moment
of it.
Then one day, something amazing occurred. I had been sent out of class to
deliver a message to the office. As I walked alone down one long, lonely
corridor, I encountered four of my worst tormentors. Before I realized what was
happening, they had me cornered against the lockers with no way out. Then the
verbal assault began.
"Hey fag, going to see your boyfriend?"
"Have you sucked anyone off today?"
"How come you act like a fag?"
"Damn gayboy, I ought to beat the fag right out of you!"
And so it went for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality was only a few
minutes. I fought back tears the entire time, but could not find the words to
answer any of their asinine statements. I knew anything I said would only make
things worse, yet my silence only seemed to infuriate them even more.
"Hey guys, got some trouble there?" a deep, almost angry voice spoke out. I got
a glimpse from the speaker as the four bullies turned around guiltily.
"Uh, no Coach," one of them began. "We were just--" he continued but was not
allowed to finish as Coach interrupted.
"Then why don't you let this young man get on his way," Coach said to the boys.
Turning to me he said, "You should be in class, shouldn't you?"
Finding my voice, I replied, "I was going to the office to deliver a message."
Coach stepped between the boys and me and said, "Then head on that way and get
back to class. There shouldn't be any more problems here." He smiled at me in a
way that made me feel safe for the first time in a long time, with his blue
eyes sparkling in a way that said he understood how I felt. As I walked away, I
heard Coach really letting the others have it.
Coach Williams had only been at our school for one year. He was twenty-eight,
fresh out of college after a short stint in the military. I never knew much of
his personal life, but I would come to appreciate Coach for the rest of my
years in high school. He was one of the few teachers that really seemed to
notice the "geeks" like me. He took care of us guys and girls that were
misfits. Coach was also great at his job. As I saw on that day, he demanded a
standard of excellence from his athletes. This won him almost as many enemies
as it did allies among his students, and even some teachers and parents. It
seems where I grew up, that there was a natural "pecking order" which was
supposed to make us boys toughen up. Coach Williams fought against that.
At graduation, I wanted to see a few teachers, but Coach Williams was top on my
list. It wasn't until I stepped up to say goodbye that I began to realize how
much he meant to me. His blue eyes showed that same sparkle as he congratulated
me on finishing school. I thanked him for all his help. He reached out to shake
hands as I felt a lump in my throat. I became very confused, wondering just
what I was feeling. Coach simply shook my hand firmly, but tenderly. He smiled
and wished me good luck and then turned to speak to other students. For a
moment I was stunned, not knowing what to think. Friends finally came along as
we headed off to celebrate. Still, I could not shake the growing question in my
mind. Just how much did Coach Williams mean to me?
Years passed as I floundered around, living with my parents, getting into, and
then dropping out of college. It seemed that I could not find the place where I
belonged. I thought of Coach Williams often, but would push away any thoughts
that I had been in love. After all, I was a good Christian boy. How could I be
gay?
I finally completed college and became a teacher. I guess deep down I knew this
was because of Coach, but still I knew that I was not gay.
To prove that fact, I started dating the first girl I met after beginning my
first teaching job back home. I was back in the old familiar surrounding,
feeling safe and comfortable. I enjoyed teaching and enjoyed having a
girlfriend. We even talked of getting married. As far as I was concerned, that
settled the matter of being gay. I couldn't be gay if I was going to get
married.
Then, after about a year, the romance fell a part. The blame belongs to both,
but I know that I started the beginning of the end. Things just didn't seem
right. I wasn't happy with her. Any form of "making out" seemed like a chore
for me. But, that wasn't because I was gay. That was because I wasn't ready to
settle down.
After a few more years in familiar surroundings, I decided to venture out and
head west. While living on the coast, I began to come to terms with who I was.
All that denial, all of the self-loathing didn't change a thing. I was gay. It
felt good, I felt free. Yet I was still afraid to venture out and date. I still
had to endure the brainwashing of a conservative Christian upbringing. I could
be gay, but I just had to spend my life alone so God would not be angry with
me. I spent many long lonely nights. Often on those nights, my thoughts would
turn to Coach Williams. I knew then he was my first "crush." I wondered where
he was and how he was doing.
Time moved along quickly until one day I found myself approaching forty. Having
never been with a man, I had come to accept the fact that I was meant to live
my life alone, being a "confirmed bachelor." I also decided to move back closer
to home. No one there would ever know or even think I was gay. My "ugly secret"
would be safe.
I found work at a small town high school, about 150 miles from where I had
grown up. The school was new and growing, so they were screaming for teachers.
In fact, the interview process moved so quickly that I only met with the
school's principal for ten minutes before he said I was hired. He told me I
would meet the assistant principal at our first meeting. I got settled in and
looked forward to a new year.
At that first meeting, the principal was walking around introducing the
assistant principal to all of us new hires. I watched this quietly from a
distance, talking to some of the others I would be teaching with that year. I
had my back turned as I felt the principal's hand on my shoulder. He said,
"Bob, I would like you to meet our assistant principal, Jim Williams." I turned
to find an amazing sight.
"Coach Williams?" I said tentatively, still recognizing the sparkle in those
beautiful blue eyes.
He looked at me for a moment then said, "Why Bobby, Bobby..." and trailed off
trying to remember my last name.
"Bob Perry, " I said helping out. Coach took my hand with that same grip I
remember from graduation.
"Bobby, I mean Bob, was a student at the school where I had my first job,"
Coach explained to the principal. We did the small talk and catch up thing.
Coach informed me that he was now Mr. Williams, but I should call him Jim. I
told him that it might be hard to switch from Coach, we laughed, and then he
moved on to meet others. I stood stunned, feeling many old feeling rush back in
to me.
I have no idea what was said at that meeting when Coach was talking. After
years of denying who I was, I left it all rush over me in that one afternoon. I
found myself very attracted to Coach. He was older and even more handsome. He
was still just a little taller than me, even though I had grown since high
school. He had put on weight and his hair was going gray, both of which made
him that much more attractive. And those eyes, those blue eyes still sparkled
when he smiled.
The school year moved along quickly as they so often do. Coach and I had some
time to catch up. I told him of my move west and return and he told me how he
had decided to enter administration, but wanted a new school to do it in. He
had been assistant principal for going on four years.
One Friday, as the month of March was bringing along spring, Coach and I were
having lunch by ourselves. The conversation had slowed when Coach asked, "So,
you aren't married, are you?"
"No," I replied, feeling a little nervous. "I dated a girl fairly seriously,
but that was a few years ago. I guess I am not quite over her." To me the lie
was obvious, say that instead of saying I was gay. "How about you?" I asked,
turning the tables.
"I married, not too long after you graduated," Coach said. "We were divorced
after three and a half years. Nice girl, but I guess it wasn't meant to be."
"And you haven't remarried then?" I asked, wanting to keep the conversation on
him.
"No," he said. "I guess marriage isn't for me."
Just then the bell rang, signaling the beginning of my next class. "Well," I
said, "off to work."
Coach smiled and said, "Enjoyed talking to you as always. Have a great
afternoon." He turned and walked away. As I watched him go, I felt the desire I
had felt since first seeing him again. I also let myself play with the idea of
what he meant when he said that marriage wasn't for him.
That afternoon, as I left school, I saw Coach walking out to the running track
that is a part of our school. He was wearing a t-shirt, running shorts, and
sneakers.
"Wow, this looks serious," I said. "Looks like someone is going to get some
exercise!"
"Yes, I try to walk a few laps every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday," Coach
said. "Doesn't keep me in great shape, but it keeps me in better shape than
sitting behind the desk all day."
"I know what you mean, " I replied. "I could use some exercise myself."
"You're welcome to join me," Coach said. "Bring your workout stuff and we can
walk some laps on Monday."
"I think I will," I said. Coach said goodbye and headed for the track as I
headed to my car. I couldn't resist having one last look before driving away. I
had always seen him in a suit. To see him wearing those shorts was quite a
treat. All weekend long he kept crossing my mind. Monday during the day I saw
Coach only once. "Don't forget, be at the track after school. You can change in
the guys' locker room. No one will be using it."
After school, I headed to the locker room. Coach was leaving as I was going in.
"I'll meet you out at the track, " he said.
I have to admit, I was a little let down as I changed in the locker room. I had
hoped he would be changing at the same time I was. I took off my clothes and
stood naked for a moment, wondering what it would be like to have him see me
naked. I shook the thought and began dressing in my workout clothes. I caught
up with Coach at the track and we walked our laps.
As we finished, Coach said, "I have a couple of things to do in my office
before I head home."
I said I would go ahead to the locker room and change, again feeling
disappointed that our paths would not cross. In the locker room I tried to
stall for time, but became afraid that things would appear obvious. I went
ahead and dressed and was walking out the door as he came in.
"I think I need a shower!" he said as he came in.
I was afraid my face would show the disappointment that I had not waited just a
few moments more.
"I am heading out," I said. "See you tomorrow."
"Alright, " Coach said. "Have a nice evening."
Right before I turned to leave, Coach took off his shirt. It was all I could do
not to stare at his bare chest covered in soft gray hair. He didn't seem to
mind that I saw this, but still I was afraid my reactions were too obvious.
As soon as I stepped out the locker room door, I regretted my decision. The
fact was I wanted to see more. I stood for a while, trying to think of some
ruse to go back into the locker room. Finally, my heart beating loudly, I
quietly opened the door just a bit to peek in.
I could hear water running but could not see Coach. I was just about to close
the door and leave when he appeared carrying a towel and wearing only his
running shorts. I let the door close a little bit, hoping he would not see me
looking in. Coach laid the towel on a bench then, with his back to me, took off
his shorts. There he was standing completely naked in front of me. I felt my
heart ache at how beautiful he was. Broad shoulders, his sides showing a hint
of the stomach he carried. I watched as his fleshy behind bounced slightly as
walked toward the shower. I was just about to close the door when he walked
back to get the towel, giving me full view of his naked front. His chest and
stomach were perfect, as was his crotch. He wasn't too big or too little. He
picked up the towel, stood for a moment, as if he was showing me himself on
purpose, then turned and walked back to the shower giving me another look at
that wonderful backside.
I then let the door close and all but ran to my car. All the way home I tried
to keep those beautiful images fresh and alive. I hit the door to my apartment,
throwing my things down and tearing off my clothes at the same time. Naked, I
ran into the bathroom and kneeled at the toilet. I was already quite hard, so
it only took a few jerks before I came. It was very intense, picturing Coach's
naked body. I sat on the floor, trying to catch my breath for a moment. I went
back into the apartment to pick things up, after which I decided to shower.
Standing in the shower, I began to think of what I had seen. It didn't take
long again before I found myself hard. This time I had more self-control, so I
had more time to think of Coach. Amazingly enough, I was able to repeat the
whole thing after dinner and a little TV. I went to bed tired and sore.
The next day on the way to school, I felt that little pang of guilt that always
seemed to accompany any thoughts I had of sex. My thought that Coach had wanted
me to see him had turned to the paranoid fact that he knew I had seen him and
then also knew what I had done when I got home. Because of this, I avoided any
contact with him during the day.
It was just after school, when Coach walked into my empty classroom. "You still
up for some laps tomorrow?" he asked.
I looked up into those blue eyes and that wonderful smile. "Sure," I said.
"Great," he began, "be sure to bring your stuff!"
By Wednesday afternoon, I could hardly concentrate on anything. All I could
think about was what had happened Monday night. Would it happen again, I
wondered. I was disappointed to find him already done changing in the locker
room when I arrived. I changed and headed to the track.
I was surprised to find myself not thinking too much about the possibilities of
the locker room as we walked our laps. Our conversation was wonderful. I began
to tell Coach about my years in college as he told me about his time in the
military. We continued to walk and talk for quite sometime until Coach said,
"Well, I guess it is about time to head in."
"It is getting late," I replied.
As we were walking in, Coach said, "You know, when the k**s are all gone, I
enjoy taking a shower here at school instead of waiting until I get home.
You're welcome to shower as well if you want." My heart began beating so loudly
I was sure he would hear. "I think I will," I managed to say.
In the locker room, I nervously began to undress. Here it was, happening like I
had imagined it. We made small talk as I tried hard to play the "look without
looking like I am looking" game. It was almost not fun as I concentrated on
self-control and not letting myself show too much excitement. Coach had
completely stripped down and I was wearing only my shorts when he said, "I'll
go get us some towels." He walked away, leaving me to stare at his naked
backside again. After he had gone, I took off my shorts and walked naked into
the large shower room. Coach returned with the towels and joined me in the
shower. We made small talk and I became more relaxed. Coach never seemed uneasy
at all.
After what seemed like all to short a time, Coach said, "We should probably get
dressed. The night crew will be in here cleaning soon." Reluctantly I followed
him out of the shower. We both dressed and walked to our cars. On the way out,
as we talked, I could feel Coach standing close to me. I enjoyed his closeness,
the sound of his voice, and the pictures of him in my mind both clothed and
naked. I also felt content that he had seen me naked as well.
As I got to my car, Coach turned and said, "Now don't forget, we also walk on
Friday night!" He smiled that wonderful smile, his eyes sparkling.
I spoke to Coach a few times on Thursday. He caught me by surprise as I stood
in our workroom running copies. No one else was around as he came up behind and
said quietly, "On Friday, the cleaning crew and everyone else is gone fairly
early. We won't have to hurry so much if we don't want too."
His face was very close to mine as I found my breath to say, "OK." That was all
I could manage. He smiled that amazing smile as he put his arm around me and
gave a quick squeeze before he left. I stood at the copy machine trying to
recall what I had been doing as everything was wiped from my mind.
Friday after school was the same routine. He was already out at the track while
I was changing. I wondered about this until I caught up with him. As if reading
my mind, he began to explain. "Lots of people around here like to talk," he
said. "I don't like to give them anything to talk about. Seems that a few of
them already have an opinion of me, and they don't really like that opinion.
That is the bad part about being in a small town. Too many people with nothing
better to do than talk without thinking. I just want you to be careful." We
walked for a while in silence as I thought about his words.
After our laps, we headed for the locker room. Again, he was undressed and
naked first, while I still had on my shorts. This time, however, he didn't
leave to get towels, but said, "Go ahead and take off those shorts and let's go
get out towels. We can take our time tonight." I did as he said and we walked
naked together to the towel room.
As he handed me my towel, I turned to walk in front of him back to the shower.
I felt my heart flutter as he spoke.
"Have you lost weight?" he asked. "Either that or you just look different
without any clothes on. Whatever the case, you look great."
I was shocked at his candidness, but very happy to know he was looking at me. I
could feel his eyes moving over my naked backside.
As we stood in the shower, Coach asked, "Would you mind if I asked you to wash
my back?"
"Not at all," I said, taking the soap from him
I began to rub the soap around his shoulders as he said, "That feels good. It
has been too long since anyone has touched me."
Moving down his back, I stopped right at the top of his behind. "If you don't
mind, " he said turning his head to me, "you can go all the way down to my
feet."
"Sure," I think I replied, as I let knelt down. I had never touched a naked man
like this, but had wanted to do so for so long. I soaped his bottom, feeling
the soft flesh, and let my hands run up and down his legs. It was then I was
shocked to find that I had grown very hard.
I stood quickly, scratching myself to try to hide the erection. Coach turned
around and asked, "Do you mind doing the front?"
I continued to hold myself when Coach looked at my crotch and pulled my hand
away, so he could see how stiff I was. "Don't worry about that, " he said. "I
take it as quite a compliment. Why don't you finish washing me then I can do
you?"
I looked up into his eyes and saw a mixture of love and understanding, not too
different than what I had seen all those years ago as a scared freshman. This
time, however, there was a touch of lust, genuine attraction that I never
thought I would see in the eyes of another man.
As I began soaping his chest, he told me of his first time with a man. It had
been while in the military, a long way form home and lonely. He told me how in
college he had been with a couple of different guys, both of whom claimed that
they were not gay, that he was the one with the problem. This experience and
driven him even deeper into the closet, and had influenced his decision to
become a teacher and try to help others that are often picked on. As I
continued to soap his body, he talked about how he married, wanting to hide the
fact that he was gay. At was as if he had wanted for a long time to tell his
story.
I was on my knees in front of him as he finished. Looking up into his eyes, I
saw him smile as I took his member into my hand for the first time. I was
amazed at the feeling it gave me to touch him, to hold him. I stood up as he
pulled me to him, both of us very hard, and held me in a wonderful embrace. As
we parted, he looked down at our erections, smiled and said, "We have to do
something about this."
Coach turned me around so my back was to his front. Wrapping both arms around
my waist, he held me close to him. He then moved his left arm to wrap tightly
around my chest. He lowered his right arm and took my erection into his right
hand. I could feel his erection pressed into the flesh of my backside and my
lower back. His head rested on my right shoulder, with his lips just grazing my
ear.
"I am so glad we are here, " he said as he began to pull on me and rub himself
into my back at the same time. It wasn't long before my body found his rhythm.
We moved in unison, his lips and warm breath caressing my neck as I lay my head
back on his left shoulder.
All too soon I came in a gush of passion. As I went limp in his arms, I kept my
back pressed firmly to him as I could feel he was going to come. I felt a
wonderful moistness erupt on my back. He turned me around then, holding me
close, and kissed me solidly on the lips. We stayed that way for a long time,
our hands caressing each other.
We were quiet as we began to cleanup, as Coach asked, "Any regrets?"
I sat down naked on the floor of the shower. "No. None at all. After denying so
long who I am and what I need, I am amazed to feel so complete, so unashamed."
Coach walked over and sat beside me. "Good. No matter what anyone else may say,
neither of us has anything to be ashamed of."
After we had finished cleaning and were dressing, Coach asked, "Got any plans
for tonight or tomorrow?"
"None at all, " I said with a smile.
"Good," he said, "you are welcome to come my place. There we can relax."
As we got in our cars and I followed him home, I found myself feeling a sense
of peace that I had not dreamed possible.
And so, we are still blessed with that peace. Coach and I continue to see each
other after nine months. We still have to be careful, as others want to talk
about things that are not their business. But it has become fun, those little
winks and smiles at work. It seems that I did find home and it was in a place
where I never expected it. Maybe God, destiny, fate, whatever you want to call
it, is somewhat twisted, but I am glad I followed the winding path.
Avriella
- 11.09.2021
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