Beer Vs. Vagina free porn video

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1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, and Eskimo...Call it a DRAW
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it One point to BEER
20. Beer with yeast in it still tastes rather nice. One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER: 11 VAGINA: 9

That's it! The matter is settled, the unfortunate yet tasty winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.An extra point for BEER ((((((((sorry girls))))))))

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My friend Chike called to inform me that his wife Ezinne is celebrating her birthday on Tuesday the 25th and that he intends to throw a small get together party for her later in the evening when he comes back from work. He told me to come with my wife, I told him that we'll be there. On Sunday morning after church service, my wife and I where going to where I parked my car when we ran into Chike and his wife Ezinne. After the usual greetings, the Cathechist called Chike for an urgent message...

2 years ago
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Finally I Fuck Judy

Judy called and asked me to come over the next morning.When I got there she said follow me .I followed her to her bedroom where she dropped her robe and started helping me to get undressed, rather in a hurry. She told me to lie on the bed and she climbed on after me and strattled my face with her pussy while she began to suck my cock.I licked her clit and pussy lips.I pushed up to suck on her clit.As I was sucking her clit I heard her say,stick your tongue in my cunt.So I did. As I was fucking...

4 years ago
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My nr 1 sexdream is my Scottish neighbour nextdoor

For 10 years now I've been living nextdoor to a older Scottish women miss Trainer. She isthe most sexy beautiful super hot mature women I ever saw. She lives together with her husband an older Dutch man, mr Mulder. I can remember the first day I've met them and they invited me in for a beer.Miss Trainer was wearing (as always) an black tighties and a white shirt without bra. When I sat on their couch and she brought me my beer she bend over and showed me her awsome hot sexy saggy old Scottish...

3 years ago
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My Wifes first black experience chapter 15

Chapter 15As we drank the champagne and Becky had discovered all was not as it seemed in our perfect house Simon suggest we put a video on from our last party and i said sure and i put it on . It was the one where Julia got fucked in the ass be all the guys and also then was some footage of when Simons friends came for his birthday and i got a good fucking on tape too Becky looked at me and said wow Jon you like cock too i laughed.. Simon was sitting inbetween the girls getting stroked as they...

4 years ago
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The Best Plan In My Life

Her name was Gina. She was brunette, big blue eyes, about 5 feet 6 inches, small perky breasts, nice tight ass, perfectly shaped body, since she was a dancer. She was a year older then I and she had just graduated high school. Over all of our high school years we had become great friends. I had gotten to know her and she was...well.... she was really slutty and kinda ditsy, But I had enjoyed being her friend. We both knew we were attracted to each other, but she had a boyfriend..... Well none...

4 years ago
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Young Life of White TigerChapter 15 Party Time

Chapter 15: Party Time It was heading toward November, classes were just the same, though having to restrict my reading to only what was covered in the lesson, kept me from being totally comatose in class. The football teams kept on with the same type of performances, the varsity team kept on trying, but also kept on losing. The freshman team was getting better at working together, getting the plays better organized and executed as they were planned. They won some and lost some, but they...

4 years ago
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Double Dating With the Parents Version AlphaChapter 2

Karen found Bob Thurlow's number on a list somebody had put together of the volunteers who comprised the Boggy Creek Restoration Project. She remembered who he was. They had even worked side by side before. But she couldn't remember saying more than a few words to him. Based on the prefix, the Thurlows still had a land line. She was mildly surprised, but then again, she was calling them on one herself. "Thurlow residence," announced a girl's voice when the phone was picked up. Karen's...

4 years ago
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Small Side Trip

Copyright 2001 by the Wraith390 Edited by Sara Sue Anne Martin and her daughter Lauren were on the last days of a working vacation, traveling around Mexico City to study the ruins of Tenochtitlan. Lauren needed some field research notes before returning to Yale to write her final dissertation to get her doctorate in archeology. They decided to take a quick morning drive before the flight home the next morning. The two women were enjoying the quiet countryside and just getting out of the big...

4 years ago
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A Russian Ordeal in Mongolia

A  Russian Ordeal in MongoliaBy  Helena  Aranatovya(e-mail me at [email protected])  ;)Author's Note:This is the first time I am sending a story to Kristen Archives. I have read so many stories written by many people and I must say that I have come to enjoy them.  I then thought maybe perhaps it is my turn to write and contribute an erotic story of my own to this great websiteTHE STORY:Natasha was a beautiful Moscovite Redhead. At the age of 35,  she had a beautiful 18 year old...

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