California Girls free porn video

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Tales Of Dinjinnar: California Girls (In Memory Of Carl Wilson) By Cabinessence "You are so pathetic Tom. I bet you couldn't get laid, even if you were the last man on earth!!!" Does that sound familiar? Well that's exactly how my last date with Lois ended. I know now, and probably knew even before I asked her, although I didn't allow myself to admit it, that she really only went out with me because I was able to obtain second row seats for a Barry Manilow concert. It was because I had this connection to get really great seats, that I could at least get attractive women to at least go out with me. But at the end of the night I would always run into the same inevitable scenario. Hell, I felt that I should be getting kickbacks from Excedrin for all the headaches I had brought on. Most attractive women won't even acknowledge that I exist on the same physical plane as they do unless they want something from me. Their eyes seemed to avoid me like the plague, as if unattractiveness was something that they could catch. I do know why Lois didn't want to get physical with me that night, well who besides some unrealistically optimistic Hollywood scriptwriters could blame her. She was, after all, one of the prettiest girls at work, and I'm a slightly overweight, slightly balding, four eyed geek. All the time that we were at the concert and even earlier at dinner, she couldn't help reminding anyone she knew or ever hoped to know better that we ran into that I was only just a friend. Still, I wanted to keep some fragment of the fantasy alive until at least the final encore. I knew that nothing carnal was ever going to happen, but I figured I'd try for it anyway. Hey, if the government wants to spend 40 million dollars to find out if Clinton got a blow job in the oval orifice, er office, I could spend a hundred dollars to find out if I could invoke some kind of sexual response from Lois. (Of course I don't believe Clinton could have done it, after all Hillary is the one with balls in the family) So I made this slightly suggestive remark to her as I brought her back to her apartment. I didn't want to give her time to feign some lame excuse. That is what provoked the response you read above. She then slammed the car door in disgust and I watched her disappear in the doorway along with my hopes for another chance. And for those that are wondering, I have tried to date women on my own attractiveness scale, but this too seemed doomed to failure. It seems that these women only wanted to date men who would increase their standing in the dating hierarchy, not merely reaffirm it. I had a rough time trying to get to bed after that, feeling sorry for myself, but I finally fell asleep about three AM. I was later awakened by the sound of the mailman dropping mail into the slot of my front door. In my daze I got out of bed and went to retrieve it. There on the floor was the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the annual catalogue of women who would never in a million years go out with me. That is unless I suddenly became rich or handsome. Yeah, I wish. As I flipped through the magazine, I noticed this beautiful blonde clad in a thousand dollar bikini. I took the magazine into the bathroom and masturbated to the picture, accidentally spraying my sperm all over the picture. Well hey, might as well let those doomed buggers share in the fantasy too. At least it was Saturday, I had a whole two days to prepare myself for what would be said behind my back at the office on Monday. I figured that maybe I could gain some shred of mercy and lessen the barbs she would fling at my expense by getting her a small gift. I knew that she liked antiques, so I went over to a new antique's shop that had just opened a few miles away from me. I noticed that the owner was Arabic, the turban was a dead giveaway. There were a lot of nice items there, I noticed a pile of very ornate rugs rolled up in a corner. "Do any of them fly?" I asked jokingly. "Sorry sir no, the FAA has banned the sale and importation of flying carpets in America since they cannot be picked up on radar and may cause problems with commercial aircraft." Ask a silly question, I thought. Then I saw this beautiful bead embroidered bottle on a shelf. It wasn't that big, it was perhaps some kind of ancient perfume bottle. I wondered if Cleopatra had her own line of fragrances like Elizabeth Taylor, probably called something like "Nile Morning" or even the suggestive "Bite Me". The sixty dollar price tag I felt was a mere penance to pay to keep my ass from turning into grass on Monday morning. So I picked it up and brought it to the counter. "Ah saheeb, maybe you have picked up a lucky bottle" "Why is there a message under the cap that I have won a bottle of Pepsi or maybe a trip to Mecca?" "No sir, there is a legend that certain of these bottles may contain members of the Djinn, a type of genie that can grant your every wish." "Yeah sure, and which of these bottles have you been drinking out of? After what happened to me last night I wouldn't mind a swig or two of it myself." "I am not drunk, sir. No, many years ago members of the djinn were imprisoned in just these type of bottles and they are bound to grant wishes to those persons who free them from the bottle." "Look I was going to buy it anyway without the Aladdin tie in. This is a gift for an adult. If I were interested in an Aladdin souvenir, I would have gone to the Disney Store. " "This has nothing to do with Aladdin, that was just a cartoon, this is real I assure you. This is a legend that has been passed down through centuries. We even carry the book "Everything You Wanted To Know About The Djinn, But Were Afraid To Ask" as well as "Secrets Of The Djinn Of The Rich And Famous: How To Live Right And Wish Right " here in the store if you need more proof." "No, just the bottle will be fine." "Well the second book does have a forward by Barbara Eden as well as outtake pictures of her navel. Now will that be cash, Visa, or Mastercard?" "Visa". I took the bottle back home to my apartment. I sat it down on the table. It was really quite beautiful, the perfect thing for Lois. I wondered if it actually once contained perfume, so I removed the cap to take a sniff. A foul smelling smoke came streaming out almost choking me. I sat the bottle down as the smoke continued to flow and take shape. "That smells awful!" "I am sorry master, but with being stuck in this bottle it has been hard to obtain an air freshener for the past four hundred years." "Who are you?" I said as the disembodied voice suddenly had a body. It looked a lot like MC Hammer with pale green sweat pants and vest. Hmm so that's where he ended up. "I am Manasha of the teal djinn." "The teal djinn?" 'Well master, all of the really impressive colors were already taken before I could choose. And of course everyone wanted to be the black djinn and when they couldn't be that they became the ebony djinn or the indigo djinn. Who are they trying to kid, really? But hell, even those colors were gone when it was my turn. You may wonder, so how did I get here? Well, I was sealed inside my bottle by an angry member of the pink djinn over four hundred years ago. Well you'd be angry too if you were stuck being the pink djinn for all eternity. Who would take you seriously? Okay, now here's the bottom line, for freeing me from my bottle I will grant you one wish." "I thought that was three wishes." "I am trying to cut down. The granting of wishes can become very addictive. I just finished the three step program over at Grantaholics Anonymous. Besides every time I am summoned out of that bottle I create all this smoke and we all know what your scientists have found about the effects of second hand smoke on humans. And it is against Djinn law to consciously cause harm to your master unless he wishes it so." "This is just too weird." "What is really weird are those djinn who suffer from claustrophobia. They go completely crazy being cooped up in that small bottle for centuries. I'm sure they would kill themselves if they weren't already immortal." "Well what can I wish for?" I figured I'd change the subject before this turned into a lecture on genie psychology. "First you can't wish for more wishes, everyone tries that. Secondly, I cannot do physical harm to anyone. Thirdly I cannot make someone fall in love with you, but I can make her horny enough to want to jump your bones, so it makes that condition a bit less painful. Hey, I am a genie not a matchmaker. And finally I cannot hand over to you any information from Ken Starr's office." "Why is that?" "Well Newsweek's genie already has exclusive rights to that. Don't look surprised, a lot of media outlets use various djinn to help them out. The Weekly World News has employed a whole staff of investigative djinn to create all kinds of wild stuff for them. You don't think all those mermaids and half dog, half babies and Elvis and JFK simulations were false do you?" "I guess I did. Well since I have only one wish I'd better take my time and think it over. Can I get back to you later?" "After four hundred years, a few moments are but a trifle. I will be in my bottle listening for your wish, Master". And with that the djinn turned back into smoke and was sucked back into it's bottle. Trying to relax and clear my head in order to word my wish for optimum performance, I laid down on my bed and turned on some soothing music. I really like to listen to oldies in the background while I relax, so I turned on the local oldies station here in Berenger. It was one of those stations that mix the hits of the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's without a clue as to what they are doing. "Hi this is WDJN, your oldies source in Berenger Nebraska, and we are sad to announce the death last night of Beach Boy Carl Wilson from lung cancer. Carl Wilson had been the Beach Boys lead guitarist and often took over the lead vocals on many of the Beach Boy hits. While undergoing chemotherapy for both lung and brain cancer last summer, he still was able to tour with the Beach Boys. We broadcast one of their concerts live last June from the Yanni Cultural Arts Center. In the memory of this true legend of Rock N' Roll, we are pleased to bring you a rebroadcast of that concert." The Beach Boys were one of my favorite groups and I felt sad that Carl Wilson had passed away. As I relaxed in bed trying to figure out what my wish would be I found myself singing along with the very well known and infectious lyrics. "We'll have fun, fun, fun til' our daddy takes the T-Bird away." "Round, round get around, I get around." "My little surfer girl, my little surfer girl" Then Mike Love launched into California Girls and as he does in concert changed the "they" to "you" in a gesture towards the audience. Trouble is I never realized what trouble that lyric change would do until after I sang it. "I wish you all could be California, I wish you all could be California Girls" I barely had time to realize what I had done when a voice came booming out. "Your wish has been granted. Noted that all our affairs are done in full." "What wish has been granted? I was just singing along with the music." "You wished that they all could be California Girls, so now everyone but you is. If you had said I wish we all could be California Girls, you would have become a beautiful blonde bikinied teenage girl as well as every other human being on the planet. But hey it's your wish, I don't know why should I be explaining it to you. Hope you enjoy it ex-master." As the djinn and the bottle vanished I noticed that the music had stopped for the news. The newscaster sounded like a young girl speaking in a kind of dialect that I had heard once on a Frank Zappa record. "The President has called for like further sanctions against Iran for cosmetic rights violations. The Aitollah Sherry has been ordering her people to only use green toenail polish. Gross! I mean gag me with a spoon and a fork. So the Sweet and Low embargo that began last month is now set to include Secret deodorant, Kotex Maxi Pads, and Summer's Eve douches. Sock it to em' Ms. C. And final testing has begun on a new bikini that will not leave tan lines and will protect against those naughty ultra violet rays. Boy, that sounds real bitchin'." I turned off the radio and decided to go outside to see what the total effect of my wish had been. I didn't seem to notice any of my usual neighbors, just a group of very sexy blonde bikini clad teenagers hanging out and giggling on the corner. I didn't see anyone looking even remotely male or over the age of twenty. I decided to get into my car and drive around to see what the extent was of the damage that my wish had caused. I soon noticed that a steady stream of traffic was headed straight for the mall, so I decided to follow them. When I got there, I noticed that the only people there were beautiful blue eyed blonde women with curvy figures dressed only in bikinis. There were no males to be found anywhere here either. Even all the shops that catered to men such as clothing stores were now tanning and bikini waxing salons. The women's clothing stores seem to only sell bikinis. Not all of the women were completely identical, but they all seemed to be of college or high school age and they all had long blonde hair. They were all distinguished only by their height, bust size, and amount of freckles spread over their bodies. And yet none of them seemed to notice me, the only male in their midst, as their eyes kept averting mine. Was this all real, the result of my wish, or had I unknowingly stepped on the set of "Night Of The Living Barbie's? If it was real, how far had it spread? I noticed the headline in the USA Today that showed a picture of a conference of African leaders. They too were all blondes in bikinis, what distinguished them as being African was that their hair was done in braids, ala Bo Derek in "Ten". As I continued walking through the mall, none of the women still seemed to notice me even if I stared right at them. It was becoming more apparent that I was in a world where I didn't belong, a world of the beautiful people. The words of an old Melaine song swirled in my mind. Horrors!! Perhaps if I were more physically attractive this would be heaven, but as it was, it was becoming more like hell. I felt like I would always be left standing outside the Studio 54 of life. I felt defeated, if only I had one more wish so that I could join them too. Even if it meant losing myself to attain the norm. Like all beautiful women I had known before, they ignored my existence even though I thought that now I was probably the last man on earth. They were all searching for something that they felt I couldn't provide them, ignoring the futility and ultimate consequences of their course of action. Had their own ideals gotten so inflexible and selfish to threaten the very future of humanity? Would the artificial standards of beauty that we had set up as a society lead us to the final apocalypse? Surrounded by the crowds, I felt alone. I shouted "Someone notice me, somebody love me" but the words were only left echoing into silence. Then suddenly I realized that Lois was right. I was the last man on earth and I still couldn't get laid.

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This next premium site is going to be a real treat for anybody who likes to jack off on their lunch break while also enjoying a big, fat sausage. Black-Tgirls is exactly what it sounds like, and Black Tgirls are exactly what you’re going to find there. As much as I appreciate clever porn site titles, I like the no-bullshit approach here. Nobody is going to be surprised to see all the ding-a-lings on these Ebony whores unless they’re illiterate.The tagline at the top of their landing page calls...

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4 years ago
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California Dreaming

This is a continuation of California Dreaming so I suggest you read it first. Our bodies were like two limp noodles as we lay entwined and breathing hard. Both of us momentarily spent. I gently kissed her and picked her up and carried her to the large couch in her living room.  I found a large throw and covered us both up and as we lay spooning, we both dozed into bliss. I awoke to the feeling of soft hands slowly traveling over my chest entwined in my chest hair. I opened my eyes to a sight of...

2 years ago
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California Adventure with Blonde Angel

The flier said that there would be a summer trip to visit many of the major cities in California along with a group of foreign students. However, being in a wheelchair has its disadvantages. I had to spend the weeks leading up to the trip talking with the event coordinator about accommodations that would be needed at all of our hotels that we would be staying at. Just a few days before the trip, we worked out all of the kinks and I was set to go on this adventure. We showed up at the...

2 years ago
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California Lovin Ch 02

Ben stood there in shock. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. Did he really just finger his aunt and get a blowjob from her? The best damn blowjob he’d ever had actually. His knees went weak and he sat down on the lounge chair where minutes ago his aunt had been lying naked. His aunt had already walked inside to get dinner ready. Ben sat there for a few minutes before he got enough strength back to walk in the house. Ben walked in the house to find his aunt, fully dressed, cooking...

4 years ago
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California Lovin Ch 01

“Fuck!” Ben said, as his iPod went dead. He was four hours into a six-hour flight to his aunt and uncle’s house. “What the hell am I going to do for two more hours?” he said, as he ran his hands through his buzzed brown hair. Ben was on a flight from his hometown in Virginia, to spend a month with his aunt an uncle over the summer. He was going away to college in the fall and his parents wanted him to spend some time with his aunt and uncle before school started. Ben didn’t really mind since...

1 year ago
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California Virgin

Im back again everyone. After doing some thinking I remembered that I left one story out from my previous sex experiences. Hope everyone enjoys it. Remember, my stories are real because I went through all these experiences. There was this guy I knew that I played basketball with. He had a real hot girlfriend that was really sweet and always trying to make friends. She sent me a friend request one day and I accepted it. On her top friends she had this really cute white girl so I sent her a...

2 years ago
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California Dreaming

The flight was perfect and on time. As I walk into the California sunshine my smile competes for brightness. Am I really here to meet my on line lover? How did I get here? Out of all the ladies I have chatted with, how did I manage to meet Lisa? She must be a gift of the sex gods. The connection was instant and we felt so comfortable with each other the first time we chatted. After just three weeks of chatting we video chatted and she was so much prettier, sexier and vivacious then I had ever...

4 years ago
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California Here We Cum Part 2

Part Two – Emma and Luke discover each other The long days on the California trail continued. The wagon train had entered the dangerous Apache country, and there was a sense of nervousness among all the travelers, all of them, that is, except for Emma and Luke. Traveling apart from each other, never speaking to anyone about their chance encounter at the riverbank, they were nevertheless daily absorbed in thought about what had happened. Emma, though very much preoccupied with her own...

4 years ago
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California Adventure

I was so glad to finally be in California. I gave the nice guy a five as he put my bags on the bed. It had been a long trip, but I was finally here. I slipped off my heels and stretched out on the bed as I remembered all the layovers coming from Charleston to San Diego. People I'd talked to and rushing from one plane to another. It was pretty mundane till I reached Dallas and met some people who were coming to the same place. I was finally living my wishes. I had wanted to come to the...

4 years ago
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California Mein Mazze

Every one reading sexy stories…. but here is my story…story of 28 years young and sporty man…6’4” tall with fair color…. with heavy body build and full of mussels…I live alone in LA, California… originally from Quetta Pakistan…my Dad opened a business for clothing here…now he passed away…I am the only one looking that business here…I lived in an apartment alone…my other family member like Mom brothers and sisters went back home… Oh I am missing one thing my name…. my name is Raheel Khan…I’m...

Gay Male
2 years ago
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California Girl Part 6

California Girl Part 6 By Princess Panty boy "Ya know what is funny Kellie?" I look at Stephen or Stephanie smiling at me. "Today is the first time I ever had any type of sexual anything." I look at Stephen continuing to smile at me all most busting from excitement. "That's great Stephanie, I'm going to call you Stephanie when you're dressed like a girl and I'll call you Stephen when you're not okay Stephanie?" "Sounds good to me Kellie. This is so great I received my first...

4 years ago
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California Dreaming

This is a continuation of California Dreaming so I suggest you read it first.Our bodies were like two limp noodles as we lay entwined and breathing hard. Both of us momentarily spent. I gently kissed her and picked her up and carried her to the large couch in her living room. I found a large throw and covered us both up and as we lay spooning, we both dozed into bliss.I awoke to the feeling of soft hands slowly traveling over my chest entwined in my chest hair. I opened my eyes to a sight of...

Taboo
4 years ago
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California Dreaming

The flight was perfect and on time. As I walk into the California sunshine my smile competes for brightness. Am I really here to meet my on line lover?How did I get here? Out of all the ladies I have chatted with, how did I manage to meet Lisa? She must be a gift of the sex gods. The connection was instant and we felt so comfortable with each other the first time we chatted.After just three weeks of chatting we video chatted and she was so much prettier, sexier and vivacious then I had ever...

Straight Sex
3 years ago
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California Virgin

Im back again everyone. After doing some thinking I remembered that I left one story out from my previous sex experiences. Hope everyone enjoys it. Remember, my stories are real because I went through all these experiences.There was this guy I knew that I played basketball with. He had a real hot girlfriend that was really sweet and always trying to make friends. She sent me a friend request one day and I accepted it. On her top friends she had this really cute white girl so I sent her a...

1 year ago
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California CrewChapter 6

Moving day. I wake up, shower, French braid my hair into pigtail braids, and get ready. I put on jean capris, a peach Juicy t-shirt, and my tennis shoes. On top of everything else that we have been doing lately, we have also been shopping, buying some new clothes that are popular here in the States. The good thing is that there are a lot of similar clothes all around the world. The house has been painted, the rugs put down, the kitchen redone, etc. So much has been done to that house that I...

1 year ago
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California CrewChapter 27

I literally fell over he was dragging me around so roughly. "What do you want? Get off!" I jerked my arm out of his grasp. "What the hell just happened in there?" "I don't know, why don't you ask your girlfriend who was grinding her ass off on top of Craig." I didn't curse that often, only when I got really upset. That must mean I was upset. No duh. "Look Sophie, I know that you hate Amy because we're together, but seriously. That was over the top." "It was over the top for...

2 years ago
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California CrewChapter 34

I stood there with the rest of them, dressed in all black. A simple black skirt, a black camisole and sweater set, black flats. My hair half pulled back by a small black clip. I wore no jewelry, no make up. My black purse was filled to the brim with tissues. My mind was spinning. I could hardly grasp what had happened. Mike wouldn't let himself believe it. Jackie was in denial. But somehow, seeing that coffin was more than we could bear. The wake had been the night before, we had all cried...

3 years ago
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California CrewChapter 35

If I hit the fast forward button on my life, this is what you would see: Lots of tears, and then a period of happiness. Where we were all moving on. Kaitlin never left our minds, but we did eventually continue to live our lives. That was what she would have wanted for us to do, not to be stuck in the past. Then came another period of tears. More tears and emotional stress than I could handle. Then a plane ride. And sun. And there I was. Back in California. I couldn't believe I was...

2 years ago
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California ZephyrDay 3

I woke Chloe with a kiss. The soft morning light was coming in the window. She opened her eyes and smiled. "How about some breakfast?" I asked. "Okay," she responded. We had slept through Utah and were crossing Nevada. A light snow was falling outside when we sat down in the dining car for breakfast. Chloe sat across from me and I noticed a look in her eyes - a look that said love. It made me worry. She couldn't fall in love with an old guy like me, for a hundred reasons. Chloe didn't...

1 year ago
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California Bound

Note : This story is completely fictional! The white teenagers forced Cornelia in their car when she walked home after church. They took her to a deserted campground and raped her. She was thirty seven and old enough to know better than to tell the police about it. This part of Georgia was known for it's prejudice. "Now that you boys used me for sex please take me home""Why should we?" laughed the boy called Jake."Take the old bitch home Jake, we're done with her" laughed his brother.The boys...

Incest
3 years ago
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California Girls

Introduction:Sorry this took so long but I hadnt planned on doing this so I started a new story before switching back to this. I had a first version but I didn't like it so I scrapped it and wrote this one instead. much better in my opinion so enjoy------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Kate woke a few hours later wrapped in her sisters arms. Brianna...

1 year ago
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Tgirls

Reddit Tgirls, aka r/Tgirls! What looks good to you may not look good for other people. A lot of women can be beautiful to their husbands even though the rest of the world would find them to be total eyesores. That jacket you like wearing so much might only look good to you because it holds sentimental value for you - but other people might think it’s nothing special when they see it. Hell, even your favorite pornstar could look like a flawless queen to you because you’ve developed an...

Reddit NSFW List
2 years ago
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The Cheerleader Rubber Ponygirls

The Cheerleader Rubber Ponygirls The Cheerleader Rubber PonygirlsBy Sarah ??????????? Sarah was like the rest of the college cheerleaders at her school.? She knew she could have any boy she wanted.? But little did she, or the other girls, would get when they crossed the wrong guy. ??????????? It happened when the squad was on its way back from an away game at Flagler College.? Flagler was UWO?s rival, and for the past five years UWO had not had a win against them.? Then the game...

2 years ago
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Dolcett County Ponygirls

Dolcett County PonygirlsBy Sarah        Author’s Note:  I would like to thank P_Eric of the forum, for introducing us to the idea of the multi-zonal jurisdictions in his version of a Dolcett World.  I would also like to thank him for allowing me to use part of his transportation idea, to bring our main character out to the area.  If you haven’t read his work yet, I suggest you first read ?Air Dolcett? http://forum.dolcettgirls.com/index.php/topic,14887.msg169673.html#msg169673  so you can bring...

4 years ago
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Pleasure Island Ponygirls

Pleasure Island Ponygirlsby Sarah        Sarah and Emily couldn't believe their luck in getting the invitation to Pleasure Island.  The two 18 year old teens had survived their first semester of college, with a D average, but it was enough to pass them into the spring semester.  Now as the pivotal moment for all new college girls arrived, spring break, the girls had each received in the mail an invitation to what was rumored to be the best party spot for all of spring break.  Of course they had...

1 year ago
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California Girls 1

"Fuck" thought Kate "Fuck that goddamn alarm" she rolled out of bed and squinted at the light spilling in through her bedroom window. *BEEP BEEP BEEP* "GODAMMIT!" she screamed as she fell face first into her pillow and slammed down on the alarm. "Oh shit wait my alarm was on my phone" she whimpered. "Kate, what's all that screaming about? It's Saturday morning what are you doing up?" yelled her mom from downstairs. "Saturday? Had she...

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