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Spells 'R' Us - Gil by Holly Fairfa This is dedicated to a friend who I used to know. His name is Andy and if he ever reads this, he'll know it's about him just like the verse in the Carly Simon song You're So Vain. He had a character in a role-playing game loosely based on himself. This character was totally undisturbed when encountering anything, as he had read and seen everything related to fantasy, comic books, and science fiction. This also gave him a real pain-in-the-rear, holier-than-thou, been-there-done-that, attitude as he treated everything as if it was normal and commonplace. It was even further compounded by the fact that he was the gamemaster of those games. Now it's my turn... About this document -------------------------------------------------------- This story takes place in the Spells 'R' Us universe created by Bill Hart for the TSA-Talk mailing list. There is also quite a bit of similarity to our own universe, particularly in the characters. And there is also a comic book/role-playing universe of my own creation which resembles comic books and role-playing games. Copyright © 1998, Holly Fairfa. Permission is granted to email and post this anywhere for free (not as part of pay archives) and as long as the text and formatting remains unchanged. This story was written entirely using NewtonWorks on an eMate 300 without any assistance from a desktop computer. The formatting was checked with Newt's Cape. This story is also available in Newton Book format. The story begins... -------------------------------------------------------- Gil was walking through the mall one day when he came upon a new shop. The sign said "Spells 'R Us". "That wasn't here yesterday", he thought, "so it must have some real magic." "Ah", he said to himself, "this is the same place written about on the internet... the place where geeky guys get turned into brainless bimbos." He laughed as he reviewed what he just said and the way it sounded. "Maybe I could work this into one of my games", he mused, "or better yet get something to turn all the players into something else." As he walked through the door and heard the tiny bell announce his entrance, he knew this was the same place. He started wandering around the shop, knowing that's what he was expected to do. He could hear sounds from the back of the shop, like boxes being pushed around. An old man in a robe walked out from the back with a few booklets in his hand. "You know, your robe looks better than the authors describe it on the 'net", remarks Gil, "they should try to put more description in their stories. If I were writing them, I would describe you as average height, portly, wearing an oversized purple robe with gold trim held in place with a thick black leather belt. Your face has some wrinkles but they don't help to tell your age. Your eyes are dark and seem to look right through people, but also show wisdom and compassion." "Well,... Hello Gil. I'm glad to see you", said the old man with a smile, "Here is the new role-playing module you need to liven up your game." The old man set an inch thick manuscript on the counter. "I've also procured a mint copy of SuperBeings #1 which you've been trying to get for the past five years." Gil considered this a contest of who could remain non-plussed the longest as he removed his wallet from his back pocket and started to pull out all of his money. "The stories never mentioned that I accept credit cards as well as cash, did they?", the old man inquired, "And quite frankly, while the module is easily covered by the cash you have on hand, the comic is going to set you back quite a bit more." Gil was not a cheap person, but he did like to get the best end of a deal. He knew exactly how much the comic was worth though so he figured he had the advantage. There were those stories about the old man being able to read minds. "How much is the module?", he asked the old man as if he already knew the answer. "The module and the comic are only available as a set. The module is based on the story as told in the comic so it doesn't make sense to split them. But since you asked, the price breakdown goes like this: the module is twenty five dollars and the comic is two hundred and fifty dollars." This was almost enough to make Gil loose his composure. First finding out that a mint copy of the first issue of his favorite comic was his for just over half what the current value of it was and second finding a role-playing module based on those characters was enough to make him shout about his good fortune. He was smiling more than he wanted to as he handed the old man his Discover card. He always thought that having that card went well with his character, now he was wondering just what he would discover tonight. The old man put a carbon invoice over Gil's card and ran his hand about a foot above it, embossing the numbers onto the form. Gil continued his best to remain unimpressed with this gratuitous display of magic. He picked up a pen from the counter and signed his name to the slip. Looking closer at the pen, he noticed how expensive looking it was. Not the kind of pen most stores leave lying around for anyone to use. It was deep black with small gold lettering that said "For Gil. One of our favorite customers!" He went to put it back by reflex and realized that he had lost the advantage. He should have just put it in his pocket as if he had brought it in with him. The old man smiled and handed Gil a copy of the charge receipt. "Your friends will love the module", the old man said, "especially Harry." With that he went back to his business in the back of the store while Gil left wondering if Harry had secret desires to be a brainless bimbo. Gil couldn't wait long to check out the comic. He had a good idea of what it was about, but never had the opportunity to hold it in his hands. He was glad that he was out of sight of the store as he was shaking just a bit as he opened the plastic sleeve with the comic. In here was the origin of the four SuperBeings. He knew from the other comics in the series that it had something to do with a buried alien artifact that they uncovered, but that was as much as they mentioned. Rex Gibbs, Sam Hawk, James Turner, and Rex's girlfriend Holly Baines are college students at UCLA. They are in Sam's van driving to Las Vegas for Spring Break in the middle of the night. The late time is partly due to Sam not having air conditioning in the van and partly due to James addiction to IRC (Internet Relay Chat). Sam is a bit tired and doesn't notice the broken glass in the road until he runs over it. This wakes everyone up as he pulls over to the side to change the tire. It is a beautiful night so Rex and Holly walk out in the desert a bit while James and Sam work. As Rex is showing off his knowledge of the constellations, he notices an alignment of Venus and Mercury with Orion's sword. Before he can mention it, Holly trips on something and a wide doorway set into the desert floor slides open. It is dimly lit at the top, but gets brighter as it goes down. There are stairs leading down as far as they can see. James and Sam have finished changing the tire and see the light from the stairway. They join their friends and they all go down together. They only go down about forty feet when they see that the rest of the steps are an optical illusion made to appear deeper than it really is. They are in a hallway that appears to go for miles but when they get another forty feet, they find it too was an illusion. A door slides opens to their left revealing a small room with four shelves set into the far wall. On each shelf is a statuette. As they watch, each statuette glows and emits a colored beam of light at them: red for Sam, blue for Rex, orange for James, and violet for Holly. Gil carefully replaced the comic book in its plastic sleeve. At last he knew how the SuperBeings got their powers. He glanced at the module. The cover read: -------------------------------------------------------- "SuperBeings: an authorized expansion module for the Champs and Chumps? role-playing system." -------------------------------------------------------- He just quickly thumbed through the pages and noted that it was well done with color pictures, maps, and removable character sheets for the players. He would have plenty of time to go over it before the game session next week. The first session -------------------------------------------------------- The games were always held Tuesday nights. That's when everyone usually could make it. There were a couple of cancellations leaving just Phil, his brother Jack, J.J. and Harry. Four people, four SuperBeings. It looked like this was supposed to be the week to run this module. Gil put each character sheet in a manila envelope so it would be a fair deal. Phil and Jack were highly competitive and this should keep them from arguing about which one got the better character to play. J.J. was a power gamer and Gil secretly hoped he got the weakest one. When everyone arrived, Gil dealt out the sheets at random. Then he went to order pizza. As usual, J.J. didn't have money for his share, but would likely clean up anything left over. He once remarked that he didn't have to pay for his share since there were always leftovers. Gil came back in the room and checked the character sheets. Jack had gotten Sam aka Techno Man and Phil had gotten Rex aka Mystic Man. That made them fairly evenly matched. J.J. had gotten James aka Scorpion Man which unfortunately made him the most powerful of the group. And as if he couldn't guess, Harry had been dealt Holly aka Mental Babe. The character wasn't totally brainless, like that empath on ST:TNG, but she was a bimbo. And what was worse was that Harry liked to get into the motives of his characters. That was called method acting in Hollywood. It was a especially a pain when Harry announced that it wasn't in character for him to go along with the rest of the group when the plans really required his character to be there. With him having the female character, Gil expected a lot of problems in this session. That was his last thought before he opened the module to the first page and the universe changed. -------------------------------------------------------- Rex and Sam were loading their luggage into the van. Actually, they were loading Holly's luggage as she had six full suitcases compared to their one suitcase apiece. Then they stopped as if they had just realized what they were doing, which they had. Rex and Sam looked at each other, then themselves. "Wow, look at these great bodies we got", exclaimed Sam. He was seventy fives inches tall and well muscled with a nice tan. Rex was a few inches shorter with wider shoulders. They were both wearing T-shirts, blue jeans and sneakers. Rex agreed, "Yes, they are. But how did we get them? What happened to Gil's place?" As Holly walked around the corner of the van Rex said, "And just look at her body. She has to be my girlfriend!" Holly was taking small steps trying to get used to the four inch pumps she had on, but it looked to the guys as if she was doing okay. She was sixty eight inches tall, 38-24-36, and wearing a black leather halter top with matching miniskirt. "You would think I'd be wearing something a bit less revealing at the start of an adventure, wouldn't you?", she said. She realized it didn't matter what she said, her voice was going to have that high pitch and breathy quality that made Marilyn Monroe famous. She tried to express her displeasure with a frown, but seeing the guy's reactions realized that probably came off as a sexy pout. Rex started to grab her when she pushed herself away, "You know the way comics and role-playing games go. There is no sex so keep your hands to yourself. Where are Gil and J.J.?" "You guys should see my computer system! It's got a superfast CPU and huge memory. It even responds to my voice!", said James as he walked out with a suitcase in one hand and a laptop computer in the other. "That's J.J. all right, Has to have the best of everything even if he doesn't know the words for it", said Rex quietly so only Sam could hear it. James stared at Holly, undressing her with his eyes. "Don't even think about it, geek!", she said and unconsciously moved closer to Rex. "Now what do we do?", asked Rex. As if in response, James' laptop falls open and Gil's voice comes out of it. "Your mission today is to drive out into the desert, get superpowered, and go to Las Vegas to fight crime. If you refuse this mission, you'll probably stay stuck on page one forever. This message will self destruct real soon" James set the laptop down on the sidewalk and they all backed away as it turned into jello and fell apart. He looked dejectedly at the remains of his computer then tossed his suitcase into the back of the van. They all got in; Sam driving, James next to him to read the map, with Holly and Rex in the back seat. It wasn't long before Holly fell asleep, her head on Rex's lap. Shortly afterwards followed Rex then James and Sam found he was also getting a bit drowsy. Everyone woke up suddenly when the van starting bouncing and Sam was pulling to the side of the road. "Sorry guys, I must have hit some old beer bottle in the road", explained Sam. "Where are we?", asked Rex while James was fumbling with the map. "We are on I-15 somewhere before the Nevada border. If I still had my computer, I could have given you an exact GPS fix." "That's close enough. It's not like there's any other roads here to get lost on. Help me fix this flat, James.", ordered Sam as he sighed. "Why don't we go for a short walk while they are doing that", suggested Rex as he offered to help Holly out of the van. "I guess I could use some practice walking in these heels", she replied, "But just walking, okay?" "Of course", he said and gave Sam a quick wink. It was a gorgeous night. The temperatures were in the mid seventies with low humidity and a gentle breeze from the West. The sky was clear with just a sliver of the moon visible and millions of stars shown on the couple as they walked in the sand. They walked hand in hand, but that was mostly so Holly didn't fall on her... umm... face every dozen feet. Rex was looking up at the sky, pointing out the star formations. Holly sighed. Phil was a physics grad student in real life. "As long as he doesn't start with Newton's laws or Einstein's principles, it'll be okay", she thought. Rex was pointing at something just behind Holly's left shoulder and as she turned to look her heel caught on something and she fell on her rear. "C'mon, clumsy", Rex said as he offered her his hand. She tried to pull him down with her, but failed. He'd probably be glad to explain the reasons why in technical terms if she had bothered to ask. They were both taken off guard when a door opened in the ground in front of them. It was thirty feet wide but didn't make more noise than a whisper as it opened up over a hundred feet. Rex looked down it and could see hundreds of steps. "Hey, what did you find!" said James from right behind them. This was a surprise to them as they had been fixated on what was in front of them. "What's it look like you nerd, it's a hole in the ground", Holly said with as much anger as she could get in her voice, "And if you keep going around scaring people like that, we might be tempted to toss you in it." Sam walked up just then after finishing with the tire. "Cool discovery guys. Let's go and see what's down there." Holly carefully looked down the stairs, trying to see how far they went. "If we are going down there, then I'm leaving these", as she took off her shoes, "here! I don't plan on tripping and falling a mile to the bottom of these steps." They proceeded down the stairs in single file. The passage was wide enough for ten people to go down side by side, but many role-playing sessions had taught them the value of having one person first, and one person last, with the rest in between. The order going down was Sam, James, Holly, and Rex. In most games Phil and Jack would have argued over who got the coveted first spot, but there was something to be said for Rex's viewpoint as they descended the stairs. He planned to be in the same place when they went up again. Sam was on step seventy-nine and going to eighty when his foot didn't go down, but forward. "Something's weird down here", he called to the rest just a few steps behind him. Even though it looked as if there were more steps, he had reached the bottom. "This may not look like the bottom, but it is." Everyone assembled at the bottom and checked out the view in front of them. It looked like an endless corridor. "The stairs ended sooner than expected so this corridor is probably a lot shorter than it seems", reasoned Rex, "Let's just go until we reach the wall at the end of it." They formed back in line with Sam counting off the steps. When he reached twenty-two, he found the far wall. The others caught up to him as he was feeling along the walls for a hidden mechanism. That's when a doorway opened to the left of them. One instant it was a wall, the next it was open. "Look back there", Sam observed, "Don't those little statues look like we do in the real world?" One by one, the statues started glowing; red, blue, orange and violet. They simultaneously emitted beams of light at the players, who started to glow with the color of their statue. Then each statue disappeared one at a time taking the player with them. Intermission -------------------------------------------------------- They looked around and found themselves back at Gil's place. "Pizza is here guys", Gil said, "Lucky for you I found a way to get you back here for it or you'd still be starving in the desert." "What's going on", asked Holly as she suddenly realized she was still in character. "It's quite simple", explained Gil, "While you are playing the game you are the characters. The only way back to normal is to finish the game. I found it in the fine print on the back cover. However, since I am the gamemaster, I can choose to interact with you through the game or run it from here. When the pizza arrived, I just wrote in a line saying that you popped back here." "I can also become anything in your world. I admit it took me a while to recover from being the computer and making myself into jello. So eat, drink, laugh and read up a bit on your characters so when you go back you'll have some idea of the powers you just acquired." Holly was feeling left out. Instead of getting Harry's usual equal share of the pizza she found herself taking a small portion and eating it in small bites. The guys were stuffing their faces and downing cans of pop like pigs while she was drinking diet cola from a glass. Then Gil came over to her and whispered, "Don't be depressed, I have made some changes to your character I think you'll approve of and which will help balance out the raw deal you've gotten so far." -------------------------------------------------------- "Aren't you done in there yet?", cried James, "You got three guys out here who need a turn." "Just hold onto it", Holly yelled back, "At least you guys have experience using your equipment. It's all new to me... And I don't need any of your help, thank you!" "Ready for the next chapter?", Gil asked, "Of course you are." He scribbled something in the module. They were all back at the end of the mysterious tunnel staring at an empty room. The doorway closed as suddenly as it had opened leaving them staring at the wall and wondering what to do next. The box -------------------------------------------------------- Holly was laughing. It started as a giggle and worked it's way up to where she could barely talk. "You guys aren't going to believe this", she said between breaths, "I have this mind-reading power... and I was seeing what I could sense when I made contact with the huge intelligence. Well, actually it's a small intelligence with a gigantic ego. Yes, it's Gil. He thought it was cute the last time when he turned himself into the most intelligent computer on the planet." As she burst into another fit of laughter she managed to get out, "This time he's turned himself into the entire planet." The guys joined in the laughter at this point. "Does that mean we should watch our step?", asked Sam which caused them all laugh harder. "His thoughts are real easy to read", Holly said as she stamped hard on the floor where a large eye had taken shape beneath her. Then she slapped the wall at waist level behind her where another one was taking shape. "Now he's a planet-sized geek." A small panel opened on the right wall and a ornate wooden box slid out. "What is this now?", asked James. "It has a jokester painted on its side so it's probably a gift from the planet, Gil", said Rex and they all backed away from it and looked at Holly. "The only thing I can get from Gil is that it's a puzzle box and not harmful." "Let's take it along for the ride then", said Sam as he grabbed a handle, "Can you give me a hand with it Rex? It's heavier than it looks." The walk back to the van was uneventful. They had to remove all their luggage, stow the box, then repack the van so everything would fit. They looked back at where the passage was and saw only sand now. "Okay, Gil's gone. I guess he got bored being a planet. We can either resume our journey in peace or you guys could test out your powers here where you can't do any damage", said Holly. "We are running late and we should get to Vegas before we lose our rooms. I'm sure we'll have plenty of opportunities to use our new powers", commented Rex. They took their places back in the van. After an event like that, the rest of the trip held nothing noteworthy. Even the lights of Vegas seemed to pale when compared to what they had seen in the desert. They checked into the Riviera and got adjoining rooms; Rex and Holly in room 1014, Sam and James in room 1016. The bellhop put all their luggage on a rolling cart except for the puzzle box which Sam and James carried. "What's in the big case?", asked the bellhop. "That's the equipment for our amateur magic show", replied James. That seemed to satisfy the man. "It did look something like a magician would have and there are lots of them here in Vegas", thought Sam, "So it's as good an excuse as any other." After taking care of the bellhop and all their luggage, they decided to catch a few hours sleep before dealing with the box in the morning. Morning -------------------------------------------------------- Holly woke up in the morning to the sounds of the guys arguing in the other room. "If you slide this here, then that there, and push this up, it should open." "No, you have to push this up first then slide that and push this down." "You're both wrong. It's turn this first, slide that into it, then turn it back." "Hey guys, What's with all the noise? A girl needs her beauty sleep, you know.", asked Holly as she came through the door from the other room. "You're gorgeous enough as is", said Rex, "Especially in that cute teddy you're wearing now." "Gil! You're going to pay for this one!", she shouted, "I had on a sleep-tee when I went to bed last night, for your information." She stormed back in the other room to change, closing the door behind her. "I have X-ray sight. Do you think she could tell if I tried it out?", asked Sam. "Well I could turn the whole wall into a one-way looking glass.", boasted Rex. "If you think having your mind scrambled is a fun experience, go ahead", offered James, "I am going to see if my super-strength can open this box." "Let's give you a hand with that", agreed Rex and Sam. While they were doing their best to get into the box, Holly walked back in wearing skin-tight jeans and a midriff-baring T-shirt. "I found these in one suitcase. I think someone is trying to make amends. What do you guys think?", as she did a quick spin. "It looks enticing, but not trashy", offered James. "No it doesn't. It like a looks normal choice for a college girl on vacation", said Rex. "Looks nice", said Sam, "How about a hand with the box here?" "Well I do have the highest brainpower score of all of us", she said. The guys all looked at her shocked. "Last I read the comics, Metal Babe was the scream queen and was best at self-preservation", stated Rex. "That was before last night when Gil shuffled some of the numbers around. He increased the my brainpower five points, but dropped the damage protection by twenty-five points!" "How does he expect you to survive a battle with so little protection?", ask Sam. "Well, either he expects you strong manly types to protect me," which brought out a bit of laughter, "or he expects me to use my wits. Before you hurt yourself on the box, can I have a try at it?" "This isn't that hard when you realize he wants us to open it, then you have to remember who created it. Most of the levers, sliders, and knobs don't do anything. Sam, can you use your X-ray sight to see which of the knobs actually connects to something?" "Yes, I can just see that deep into it. The red one on the upper left is connected to a shaft which goes into the box." "Then it's simple. I'll just grab that one", as she removed the knob and shaft, "and pull it out." The sides of the box fell open revealing four garment bags, each color-coded: red, blue, orange, and violet. "So that's where the costumes came from", stated James as they each grabbed a bag. Rex pulled out a blue bodysuit with a picture of a sundial on the chest surrounded by several characters in an unknown script. There was a matching blue cape with a deep black inner lining. And to complete the set were black leather gloves, boots, belt, and eyemask. This was the Mystic Man costume. Sam found a red bodysuit with matching red gloves, boots and a full head mask. He didn't have a cape, but he had a wide red belt with a large number of gadgets connected to it. That was the Techno Man arsenal belt. James found his bag contained an orange exoskeleton with a large tail connected to it. To put it on, he'd have to back into it and close the front. There was a bug-eyed helmet connected to it which he knew provided multiple views. No-one would be able to sneak up behind Scorpion Man. Holly opened hers and was disappointed to find just a ring and four brooches with initials SB on them. Below that was a sheet of paper. She glanced at it, taking in the full contents instantly and smiled. She gave a brooch to each guy. "These are for identifying us as SuperBeings and they work like those radios from ST:TNG. Just say who you want to talk to and wait for the beep and you'll be connected. As far as my costume, watch this!" She slid the ring on her left ring finger, then raised her right arm above her head and snapped her fingers. She was instantly changed into her costume. "Wow, you look just like the girl from the Mighty Morphers.", exclaimed Rex, "But isn't the Mental Babe costume supposed to be more like leotards and fishnet stockings?" "This is the nineties version", she said, "And haven't you ever wondered how a girl in a leotard can fight galactic evil without obvious skin damage and scars?" "I see now. You have twenty points of fashion conscious as one of your quirks, don't you?", asked James. "That's not such a bad thing", replied Holly, "And purple is one of the 'in' colors this year. Put on your suits guys and let's go find some other-worldly criminals to battle. Should I wait in the other room while you change?" Time's up -------------------------------------------------------- There was a knock on the door, the standard shave and a haircut pattern. "I wonder who that could be?", pondered James. "You guys hide in the other room and I'll answer it", offered Holly. Instantly Rex pushed a button on his belt and a fake room appeared between the door and them. "I guess that works too", said Holly as she snapped her fingers and changed back to the jeans and T-shirt. She opened the door and found Gil on the other side... standing in his living room."Hi guys! We're out of time for tonight. Come on through the portal here to return to this world." Holly went through and talked with Gil while the guys changed back to street clothes and came through the portal. When the last one came through, the doorway changed back to normal. "You said we'd change back when the game was over", accused Sam, "I'm still in character!" "Let me try to explain. First, the game isn't over, just this session is. That means you're stuck like that until next week. Second, nobody outside of the five of us will think anything is different. Just like all the stories I've read, the world will have changed to accept you as if you've always been this way." "If Gil got this module from the Spells 'R' Us place like he said, then it's a good bet that Harry is just the first of us to be turned into a bimbo. If we continue with the game, we'll probably all end up in the Sigma Beta Beta sorority!", said Rex. "But I'm not a bimbo! I'm real smart!", cried Holly, "I don't want to end up as a sex toy for the entire football team." Rex handed her a tissue and wrapped his arm around her. "We won't let that happen to you. It might be possible to finish the game and get our bodies back intact." When Holly got home, she she took a bath, put on a nightgown, and fell sound asleep. She awoke to her alarm at seven and went to her closet. "It looks the same to me... Men's clothes on the left, women's on the right.", she said to herself. She selected a green sundress and white sandals. "The only difference being that the women's clothes fit better now", she commented. She called in sick to work and went to the mall as soon as it opened. Gil said the store was across from Sears. She kept looking and found it across from Hudson's. "I would have thought Gil knew the difference between the two stores", she said to herself. As she entered the store, the old man was at the counter, writing something at the bottom of a parchment. "Hello, Holly. How may I help you today?" "You know who I am? Who I really am?", she asked. "Yes, I do. That's because I am a wizard. You used to be a guy, but are currently playing through a role-playing module", he replied. "And I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a brainless bimbo" "Well, you are quite safe from that. Your friends may not be so lucky." "I don't understand. We are all stuck as characters in this game. I already look like a bimbo. What's to keep me from acting like one?" "It's all because of that ring you are wearing. If I had crafted it, you would already be a contented woman, glad to be Rex's girlfriend. But Gil is not trained in magic or spellcasting and was rather sloppy with the enchantment on it. That ring gives you three choices." "I get three wishes?", she interrupted "I said choices, not wishes", he continued, "It depends on what you do with it. If you leave the ring in the game world, you will return to being Harry. If you have it on you, but are not wearing it, you will be Holly Baines, in both mind and body. Your third choice is to keep wearing it. If you do that you will retain the ability to shift modes, only it will be between male and female." "I do like that last choice. What was that comment about my friends?" "I don't want to spoil the module for you. Just be careful and think before you act. I have to finish this manuscript now. The basketball team needs a new mascot and he'll be here shortly." He returned to his work. The second session -------------------------------------------------------- The week passed quickly and it was just like Gil said. Everybody acted like nothing was amiss. The guys got used to going to the gym to practice after classes instead of going to the library to study. Holly got used to using the ladies' room, guys staring at her, walking in four inch heels, and spending most of her evenings on the phone. Tuesday evening arrived before they knew it and they arrived back at Gil's place. "Well, guys! Let's get started. The sooner you finish this, the sooner you return to normal. I'll pop you back here when the pizza arrives." Gil scribbled something in the module, then opened his front door which was connected to their room in the hotel again. The robot -------------------------------------------------------- "As I recall, we last left our heroes checking out their costumes", spouted Sam with the type of voice that radio announcers use. Once the guys had changed James said, "We now return you to your regularly scheduled program." "Speaking of programs, I'm going to turn on the television and see what's on before I change", Holly shouted from the other room. "Don't bother with that! Just look out the window", shouted Rex. They all gathered around and saw a giant robot walking down the strip. "Why do we always get giant robots?", asked James, "What's wrong with evil masterminds and their henchmen?" "We always get robots because some of us have ten points of life is sacred as a quirk", replied Rex, "Since this metal thing is not alive, we can slice-n-dice it. Otherwise, we'd have to knock it silly, restrain it, and turn it in to the nearest law enforcement official who would promptly let it out on bail." Sam looked back into the room and noticed what was on the television. "You guys really should check out this news report before we head out." On screen was the forty foot high robot with dozens of well-endowed women in bikinis fleeing from it. As they watched, they saw a man being changed to a bikinied bimbo when the robot shot him with a ray from it's eyes. "This is just great", muttered Rex, "A robot with a bimbo ray. I knew we'd all end up being brainless bimbos." "What about we get a huge mirror and make it zap itself?", suggested James. "So we end up with a giant bimbo robot with a bimbo ray?", asked Sam, "Any other suggestions?" "How about you guys distract it while I sneak up behind it and chop it's head off with my tail?", offered James. "That's better than your last suggestion, but not much", said Rex, "It turns us into bimbos while you watch, huh? How are you planning to get up high enough to knock its block off anyway?" "I was thinking about using my insect climb power to just walk up its back." "However, if that doesn't work, we need a backup plan. Any other suggestions?" "Sam, who made you the leader?", asked James, "I'm the Scorpion Man so I am supposed to be the leader." "We can argue about that later guys", said Rex, "We need to work as a team now." "Forget that!", said James, "I'm the leader and I'll show you how it's done. Who needs you guys anyway. It means more points for me!" He opened the window, climbed out, and walked down the building. Sam watched him crawl down and sighed in disgust, "Okay, you two got any ideas?" "How about the bigger they are, the harder they fall? This thing doesn't look that smart", suggested Rex, "We might be able to trip it with my climbing cable. With any luck it will break apart when it hits the ground." "I can improve on that with a tanglefoot enchantment so it will be sure to trip on it, then get caught in it", added Sam. "I guess I am the logical one to place the cable. The robot appears to be ignoring the bimbos it creates. All I have to do is dress the part and I should be able to get in front of it", said Holly. Holly went into the other room to change. She came back wearing a purple bikini and matching open-toed pumps with ankle straps. The communication brooch was on her hip. "One bimbo in a bikini ready to go to work. How is the insect-brain doing?" "We lost the local television coverage, but Techno Man has gotten us a good view of what's happening. Now is a good time to get used to using our hero names so we don't slip when out in public.", replied Mystic Man The television was now showing a viewpoint from the right side of the robot. It had left the strip and was headed toward the Acid Rock Cafe. They could see Scorpion Man sneaking along fifty feet behind it, going from the protection of one building to the next one. He was closing the distance rapidly as the robot was in no hurry. It would stop, turn some people into bikinied bimbos, then take another couple steps before repeating the process. The next time it stopped Scorpion Man ran up behind it and jumped onto right leg and proceeded to climb onto its back. As he reached the shoulders and readied his tail to strike, the robot rotated its head 180 degrees. It shot the bimbo ray directly at the helpless SuperBeing who losing her mental facilities slid down its back and legs to the ground. The robot continued the rotation bringing its head around a full 360 degrees back to where it started. "So much for Scorpion Bimbo", teased Holly, "Let's get in position. With any luck we can get to the Acid Rock Cafe before it." "But what if someone sees us in costume?", asked Techno Man. "Pretend you're a magician. You can be Zeigfield, and I'll be Elroy. Holly can be our scantily clad assistant. After it's over, we can announce ourselves as SuperBeings", suggested Mystic Man. They didn't have anything to worry about. The elevator was empty and everyone was self-absorbed at the gaming tables and slot machines. The most attention they got was from an Elvis impersonator who liked their costumes. The police had done a good job of keeping the streets clear so it was an easy drive to get to the cafe. They could see the robot down the street. It was less that two hundred yards away. Techno Man tied one end of his climbing cable to the giant sax in front of the cafe. "Okay Mystic Man, it's your turn." Mystic Man grabbed the reel and started making gestures over it while speaking in an unknown language. A few seconds later he was done. "Now remember, Holly, hold this only by the handle or you'll get caught in it as well." She took the cable reel from him and waited for the robot to stop and zap someone looking at it from an apartment window. When it resumed walking, she casually sauntered across the street, letting the cable out behind her. As she expected, the robot didn't pay any attention to her. She continued walking until she was hidden behind a building before turning around. She pressed on her brooch, said "All", and waited for the beep. "I'm here, it's there. When it gets here, I'll loop the cord around this post here as high as I can get it. You guys stay out of sight okay?" "We'll be in the van waiting for you to give us the all clear signal", responded Mystic Man, "Let's go Techno Man." Hoist by own's own petard -------------------------------------------------------- Holly was watching the robot plod along when she was startled from behind. "Hey! How's the plan working out?", yelled Gil. "Not so loud, you idiot. Do you want it to find us?", she whispered. "You haven't noticed that it has no ears? It's totally deaf." "How did you get here anyway?" "I found this blank character sheet and just put my stats on it. It's much more fun being me than the entire planet. This way I can take part in the adventure." "Just shut up then. I'm busy" "I see. Have you noticed the robot is running out of targets. It will probably turn around before it gets here." "I can fix that!" She smiled as she picked Gil up and tossed him into the middle of the street. He picked himself off the street and brushed the sand off his clothes. "That won't work, I'm the gamemaster. It can't turn me into a bimbo!", he yelled, "Just watch and see." As they watched, the robot sensed the man in the road and headed directly for him. About twenty feet from the trip wire and thirty feet from Gil it stopped and aimed the ray at him. "You can't make a bimbo out of me", Gil challenged, "You can't even hear me, you moronic piece of scrap metal." "Actually I can do both", thundered the robot in reply and zapped Gil into a bikinied bimbo. "In addition, since I am now free of your control, I am going to revenge myself by putting you to work lubricating my internal mechanisms." It opened a panel in its chest and headed towards the helpless female, oblivious to the wire on the road in front of it. Holly reached down with the cable reel and tossed it at the lightpole as if she were tossing a javelin. It caught about fifteen feet up and stuck there. "I guess I should be in costume for the finish", she said softly and snapped her fingers activating the change. The robot stepped into the cable with the right leg and brought the left leg forward in an attempt to walk through it. The force on it pulled the end free from the lightpole with a jerk and the cable flew back at it and wrapped about its legs. The cable tightened around the legs, worked itself around the robot's body, and then the arms causing the robot to loose its balance and fall... directly at the girl that used to be Gil, who just curled up in a ball as the robot fell on her. Mystic Man and Techno Man heard the crash and ran out yelling in triumph. The robot was in several pieces in the street. The legs and arms had broken away from the body. They were celebrating too soon though as the head started spinning shooting the bimbo ray out at random. It struck Mystic Man square in the back. Techno Man managed to duck behind the van and could only watch as his sibling and rival became a bikinied bimbo. Luckily, the cable was still enchanted and working its way around the robot. It wound its way up to the head which stopped stopped spinning when the mechanism was jammed. "You will not take me that easily", roared the robot. A panel in its back opened and a cylinder extended from it. A crystal sphere rocketed out of the cannon headed straight up into the sky leaving the robot silent and inert. Techno Man and Mental Babe went over to inspect the remains. The only sound they heard was a sobbing from inside the chest area and they realized that the robot had fallen with the chest panel open. They could see a woman through the open panel in the back. "Hi, I'm Mandy. Do I know you? Can you get me out of here?" "We are friends", said Techno Man, "Let us help you out of there." The other two members of the group, once heroes but now bimbos, joined them as they made sure the robot was useless. "Let's grab a bite to eat", suggested Mandy and they headed for the Acid Rock Cafe. The door to it lead to Mandy's apartment instead. They stepped through and the portal closed. Endgame -------------------------------------------------------- As she finished her pizza, Mandy looked around the table. "So what did you guys think of the game? Jackie, Phil, Harry, Jane? Any comments? Too realistic? Too silly? Well think about it and tell me next week. We'll be back to Castles and Creatures." Harry went back to his apartment and took a shower. He put on a nightie, looked at himself in the mirror, and snapped his fingers. Holly crawled under the covers and went to sleep. The old man looked up from his work and smiled. Another satisfied customer.