Inconsistent
by Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]
Discontent is the first step to change, all you have to do is act on it
Andy
Inconsistent, inaccurate, and inept. That's how I feel about my dressing.
I can never seem to do it the same way twice. I usually wear the wrong
things or do my makeup badly, and of course, trying to do anything but a
ponytail is out of the question. So far, every time I tried to do my best, I
felt like a clown. I was disheartened and disillusioned because I wanted to
be able to dress, look, and live as a girl. Of course the odds were against
me ever succeeding. I'm 17, not too tall and a bit but pudgy. I have
reddish brown hair with blue eyes. My name is Andy Grant. I have an
older sister, but she's away at school, leaving just my parents and I.
Because of my inability to have anything I would call success when I tried
dressing up, I fell into a depression. The vision in my mind simply could
not be realized, and the more I tried the worse it got. I became moody and
sloppy, which drove my parents nuts, but I didn't know how to get
myself out of the never ending cycle of desire vs. ugly reality.
As school drew to a close, my grade point average started to collapse,
which only drove me further into my depression. Mom tried to find out
why, but how could I tell her? My inner desire to be more feminine in
every way ran counter to everything she knew about males and our role in
society. She was not unaware of the phenomenon of course, but it was
"those people over there who do that". How could I tell her that "over
there" was alive and well in her own house? And what about my dad? He
would freak out. Three weeks before the end of the year, everything came
to a head, erupting in a burst of tears and angry, ugly words.
"Andrew, I want you to tell me why your grades have fallen so much!
You've been an absolute terror since the first of the year, moody, sloppy,
curt, even nasty at times! Tell me what's going on. Maybe we can help."
I was sitting at my computer desk as mom looked at me, her normally
beautiful face screwed into one of bewilderment and anger.
"You wouldn't understand."
"This cannot go on young man. You tell me what's bothering you, and I
mean right now!" Her red tipped finger was pointed at me, her other hand
clenched in an unfamiliar fist, her beautiful blues eyes, now a stormy
gray, had narrowed and her mouth became a mere slit, red in her anger,
tight with frustration. I had seen her this way only once before, when
Beth got pregnant in high school.
"No."
"Yes!" She grabbed my arm and spun me around, coming face to face
with me, our noses just inches apart, her eyes glaring and stern. "I'm not
giving you a choice Andrew, I'm telling you!"
Her anger and my frustration clashed and grew hot, yet I remained silent.
As her hand grew tighter on my arm I also grew angry. My secret was
mine and mine alone, and by her insisting that I tell her, she provoked my
long held anger at my failures. Her slap wasn't all that hard, but it sent the
message that she was serious. In a fit of anger and stupidity I blurted it
out.
"Okay! You want to know? Well I want to be a girl!"
Those few words shocked her so much that she flopped down on the bed,
her eyes widening as she stared at me. Silence reigned as we glared at
each other, both of us lost in the implications of what I had said. My self
imposed silence was broken, shattering my self esteem even as I held my
head up in prideful anger. Mom sat there silent as she stared at me, her
face still showing the shock of what I had said. For what seemed like
hours all we did was look at each other, until she suddenly stood up.
"We'll talk about this after I think about it some more Andrew, but in the
mean time I want this crabby attitude of yours to stop. Understand?"
I nodded my head yes and she went to the door, opened it, started to walk
out, then stopped and turned to face me.
"I'll bet you would be quite pretty all fixed up right Andrew", then she
left! On that note I sank deeper into the chair, my foolish, angry outburst
had let her in on my secret, leaving me open to ridicule and possibly
worse from my father. The tears started to swell in my eyes, dripping
down my cheeks until at last the flood gates opened and I started sobbing.
I was unable to face the truth, scared that my desire, so well hidden for so
long was now in the open. I could only guess what would happen next.
I lay on my bed for a long time trying to reconcile myself to a sure and
certain punishment of some kind. Dad was a man that while unbending in
so many ways, was not an intolerant man about minorities, but this was in
his own house, his own son this time. I knew what his view of what I
wanted would be. He would never understand me, and probably not even
try. My best hope was that he would stay silent about my revelation, a
kind of tacit approval. Just before he came home mom came to my room
and sat on the bed next to me.
"It's been hard to hide a secret like this hasn't it?"
I nodded my head as I felt her hand on my back, gently rubbing back and
forth. "I'll bet that you never get it right. Would you like to try again? I'll
help you."
I stayed silent while my mind tried to absorb and make sense of what she
had said.
"Well, do you?"
My mind screamed 'Yes' while I stayed silent.
"I do have some experience you know."
Of course she did. I started to giggle, a nervous giggle that turned into
another round of sobbing. Embarrassed at my lack of control I said
nothing. "I'll take that as a yes. We'll see what we can do to make you
into a girl."
Her weight left the bed, then her footsteps sounded as she walked out,
closing the door behind herself.
Nothing was said at dinner that night, all seemed normal, and afterwards
I went to my room. I tried to sleep, but visions of my mother laughing at
me kept haunting my dreams. By the morning I was still tired after a
restless night, yet also, excited. Mom came in and told me that Saturday
would be the day. The bigger question was how would this all end? I
could only hope for the best.
Mom
My name is Audrey Grant. I'm Andy's mother. His revelation yesterday
shocked me right to the core, making me lay awake that night as I went
over every single day of his life, trying to figure out what I did wrong. I
grew up in the seventies so I knew about people that wore the clothes of
the other sex of course, and I had even met a few. But this was my son!
Not once, not even at Halloween did he ever express any desire to dress
as a girl, so why now? Had he managed to keep his secret even back then?
I'm 37, not so old that I don't understand Gays and so on; I went to
school with a boy that said he was Gay. Benny seemed okay and I
accepted him, so why do I feel so ashamed that Andy told me he wants to
be a girl? I mean, it's only clothing, right? He was right about his father
though, Bill won't have a clue, and won't try to get one either. As a
plumber he works with his hands in a good profession, but he grew up
poor and never had the chance to meet anyone that wasn't just like him.
He had hoped that Andy would follow him into the trade, but it has been
obvious for quite a while that Andy had no inclination that way. He wants
to be a writer.
I slept badly that night as I wondered how I could get Andy to open up to
me, maybe let me help him, but the specter of his father in a rage loomed
when my mind drifted to a vision of Andy all dressed up. Andy is like his
sister Beth in many ways, same eye color, same pudgy body, about the
same height, Andy even has hair that went down his back, just like Beth. I
had to find a way to tell Bill, and make him understand what had to be
done. Andy is on the verge of some kind of breakdown, and if dressing as
a girl even once relieves the stress on him, then I have to find a way to
help Andy, and get his fathers blessing.
Dad
I'm Bill, Andy's dad. When Audrey told me what Andy wanted to do,
I'll admit that my first reaction was to beat my son until he couldn't stand
up, before I calmed down that is. Audrey has a way of making me pay
attention to her without raising her voice. When she told me that she had
known for almost a week, I was irate because she and I never keep secrets
from each other. Her voice, that same soft contralto of hers, quavered
only once as she told me what she wanted to do. She said that Andy
needed to try it at least once, just to see himself as a girl, and if it went
well, maybe a bit more, like a trip outside of the house. That scared me
because of the neighbors. They might see my son, all dressed up as a girl.
I could only imagine what he would look like! A clown in a dress! Audrey
said this is important to him, very important. She also pointed out that I
accepted the situation when Beth was pregnant and this is no different! I
was angry at Beth of course, a baby at her age! But as she grew larger I
became protective of her, like a...grandfather. When she gave the baby
away I was saddened I guess. I had gotten used to the idea that she was
going to be a mother. Now Andy. According to Audrey, if I said no he'll
just graduate, move away, and do it on his own. This way at least we'll
have some control. I hated the idea of my son dressing as a girl, but letting
him do this on his own and possibly get into trouble was worse. I gave in,
but with serious concerns. Audrey told me what she wanted me to do and
when, then she told me not to be there. It sounded like I was hiding from
my own son!
"On Saturday morning you and I are going to make you over into the girl
of your dreams Andrew. Don't make any plans for this weekend. Okay?"
"Su...sure mom."
Andy
I had to wait three very long days for Saturday to arrive. Tense does not
describe how I felt when the fateful day arrived. As soon as dad went to
work, mom took me to her room, insisting that this was a "do it right or
not at all session", and had me strip to my briefs. After she rubbed in a
cream, I had to wait a bit, then in the shower, all of my sparse body hair
washed down the drain! With my hair squeaky clean, a fresh shave, and a
hairless body, I wrapped a towel around myself and rejoined mom. In a
swirl of compressed time, I was wearing panties with my hair in rollers.
She took the time to carefully get me dressed, and the results were worth
the effort. My nervousness left me as soon as she began to put in the
rollers, and from then on I was a more than willing subject, but said
nothing about how I felt.
"This is foundation. I'm going to show you how to do it on myself, then
you do yourself."
Under her watchful eye I covered my whole face evenly. I had never
used the powder, but as I brushed away the excess I could see how it
made my skin look softer and smoother. The eyeshadow was a lot harder.
I used a thin line of soft green, then a plum color over that. Using the
liquid eyeliner was the worst! It took me two tries to get it even close! In
the end I rested my elbow on the table and managed to draw the thin black
line on each eye with a single stroke. Under my eyes I used a black pencil.
When I looked in the mirror, I was simply shocked. I had never managed
to do this!
"Now we'll get some clothes on you Andy."
While I watched her, mom opened a bag and put some clothes on the
bed.
"Beth wore this when she was in high school. I guess it's your turn."
I took it in my hand, felt the rods built into it and looked at mom.
"It's called a waist nipper Andrew. Wrap it around yourself and fasten the
hooks in the front, the tag to the top."
As soon as I had it hooked and zipped up, my waist was at least a few
inches smaller while my upper chest seemed to swell up! The bra was one
of Beth's, a 34A. It was peach in color with lace trimmed cups that didn't
look like much, but mom said it would be fine. As soon as I had it on I
saw why. The cups had some pads in them that pushed up my flabby
chest creating what looked like breasts!
"Push these in under yourself Andrew."
The small oval shaped pads lifted my flesh while filling out the cups of the
bra, making it look like I had boobs! I sat on the bed and pulled on the
pantyhose, the nylon slicking across my now hairless skin making me
shiver, and sent the wrong message to my manhood. Embarrassed, I
turned away from mom and hid things. She said nothing about it, but
smiled at me.
"I think these will fit Andrew" mom said as she handed me the skirt. It
was short, green and white checked, pleated all of the way around. I
stepped into it and fastened the button and zipped it up. It fell about mid
thigh on me. The blouse was white with short sleeves and a round collar.
I quickly put it on and tucked it into the skirt, then pulled the soft tan
sweater over my head, being careful of the rollers.
The shoes were black with short heels, and new.
"I bought them for you the other day. I hope they fit."
They did. It was my first time in heels, yet I had no trouble walking or
standing in them at all!
"Now we do your hair and finish your makeup."
I sat as mom began to take the rollers out. My hair is quite long, so mom
did it like Beth wears her hair. She cut my bangs, brushing out the top in a
curly mass, then brushed it out and let it hang down my back and used
barrettes to hold up, and back, some of the hair she had brushed out.
When she was done, she handed me a blusher, then a soft red lipstick.
Gold clip on earrings, a gold bracelet and necklace.
"I think you can see the whole girl now Andrew. Stand over here.
Allowed at last to look in the full mirror, I was shocked. From the top of
my head down to my pointy heels, there was no sign that I was male.
Two hours it had taken. From the hair removal to makeup and hair, then,
the clothes. Peach panties and bra, the pantyhose that made my legs look
so long and sexy, the short skirt. Earrings in shiny gold swung from my
earlobes, a pendant between my breasts, pushing down, accenting the
swelling twin mounds of my breasts.
In all of the times that I have been secretly dressing up, at last I had the
chance to go all of the way, not just hair, makeup, or the occasional effort
to slip on a dress. Everything I have on is Beth's, but all of the clothes fit
me reasonably well.
"I was right. You do make a pretty girl Andrew!"
It was all I could do to tear myself away from the mirror and look at her.
I'm 5'7" with soft reddish hair that sweeps well past my shoulders, the
curls held back on the sides with barrettes, bangs that fall to my
eyebrows. My face is small, oval in shape with eyes now almond shaped,
accented by the black eyeliner. I let my hands run down my body, starting
at my breasts. They swelled out to a full A cup, small but nice, then down
a tapering bodice to the flaring skirt. Whenever I spin around the skirt
flares out revealing long, nylon clad legs. All at once I felt the relief I
always wanted. The girl in the mirror was the girl I always wanted to be.
She was, to me anyway, beautiful beyond words. Not a clown in any
sense, this girl was the proverbial girl next door, and I was the girl. I was
unable to stop looking in the mirror, my grin plastered on my face like a
child with a new toy, my excitement clear. All at once I wanted to leave
the house, go shopping for another outfit, walk the mall and sit and have a
soft drink while letting everyone see and admire me; but I lacked the
courage. I was more than content to be dressed, stand at the mirror, and
simply look at her. Abbie. It's the name I picked for her. Abigail Elizabeth
Grant. Lost in the vision I was seeing, I realized that mom was talking to
me. "How about some lunch?" She took my hand and we walked down
the stairs and into the kitchen, made a sandwich and poured some iced tea.
Sitting at the table, I slowly ate my lunch slowly, savoring the feeling of
such openness, enjoying each minute. We washed up the dishes and I
went in the small bath, retracing my lips with fire engine red lipstick, two
coats. I was in absolute heaven as I looked at my reflection.
Lost in my euphoria at the sight of myself in the mirror, I did not hear the
door slowly open. As I stood there admiring the way I looked, mom
asked me if I had selected a name for the girl standing there. More than
slightly nervous at admitting that I had gone so far as to pick out a name
for myself, I hesitated for the barest moment.
"Tell me Andrew".
"Ah,...Abigail...Elizabeth"
"That's a very pretty name. Abigail Elizabeth. I like that!" she said
smiling. "I know that you said you had never been out of the house, so
why not now? Come with me. I have a few errands to run anyway, and
you can see what it's like."
My euphoria evaporated instantly with the thought of leaving the house,
but mom merely looked at me, waiting for an answer.
"Are you afraid to talk, even to me?"
"No"
I croaked, my long practiced, softly feminine voice, deserting me, just
when I needed it the most.
"Since you can't seem to find a way to say anything I'll take that as a
yes."
My eyes still wide at the thought of leaving the house, she asked,
"Do you have a purse?"
"Yes" came the squeaky answer.
"Go get it, and put your wallet and lipstick in it, then come back here. I'll
be waiting." I tried, but I was stuck. I simply could not make myself
move. "Well?"
"I'm scared."
"Don't be afraid dear. Go get your purse and I'll wait here."
It was a command, and like a little child, I did what she told me to do, just
like I always did.
The moment I returned she took my arm.
"I think it's time the world got a chance to see just how pretty you are.
Don't you?"
No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to say no. I was fighting my
impulse to run and hide, against my desire to experience being a female, at
least once, outside of the house.
"Let me straighten my hair a bit and we'll go."
In moments she was done, then, with no struggle, I let her walk me to the
car. As mom drove along, she said nothing more until she drove into the
lot and parked the car.
"I won't force you to go in Abbie, but we both know that this is exactly
what you want to do, but are afraid. Am I right?"
I had sweat running down my back, my forehead was damp and my
hands were shaking even as I said yes.
"I'll be with you the whole time, and I think that unless you do this now
you will always regret it, and you will never find the nerve to be the girl
you want to be or do anything else even remotely daring."
She took my chin in her hand and looked at me.
"Are you coming?" My voice was squeaky, filled with dread, but I
croaked out another yes. She stood outside the car waiting as I unfolded
myself and also stood outside the car. With a click of her remote, she
locked the doors. I was committed now, right or wrong.
I walked next to her the whole time, trying to match her step and arm
movements. My only fault, which she corrected me on immediately, was
that I hung my head.
"Don't hang your head Abbie. People will think you have something to
hide."
I did have something to hide, but held my head up anyway, then we
walked in. The grocery was packed with people, and after I had the cart
mom went about putting things into it. For over an hour we went up and
down the aisles as she selected the groceries for the week while I pushed
the cart. I saw two girls from my class with their mothers, and I know
they saw me, but neither of them gave any sign that they knew who I was,
and went on as if nothing was wrong. I was a wreck inside, waiting for
the inevitable shout, and while it never came, I did not relax until mom
and I were safely back in the car.
"I told you that you would have no trouble and I was right, wasn't I
Abigail?"
"I saw two girls I know from school" I blurted it out, expecting some
sympathy, all she did was smile at me and said nothing.
We put the groceries away, almost finishing when mom told me that she
and I were going to make dinner together that night.
"I picked up some nice steaks. I'll start while you set the table...for four."
I stopped cold in my tracks and stared at her.
"Beth and your father, you and I of course!"
"I'll go change then." I started to leave when she said
"No. I want you just as you are. Your father knows..."
"You mean dad knows about this!?"
My heart leapt into my throat again as a vision of my dying a slow,
agonizing death came to mind.
"Of course he knows. I told him, we talked about it, and decided that you
were headed for a nervous breakdown if you didn't find some kind of
relief."
All I could mutter was, "dad agreed to this?"
"Yes, but to be honest about it, your father is at a loss. He doesn't
understand why you, or any male, would want to be a woman. He's
convinced that you'll still look like a boy in a dress, which is absurd of
course. But, he loves you, and together, we have decided to give you that
chance. It's up to you. As far as Beth goes, your father is talking to her
about it today. How she'll accept it, I don't know, but I'm sure she will
try."
When mom first saw me I wanted to die on the spot, crawl into the
smallest hole I could find, and stay there. Now, she was giving me the
chance I always dreamed of and wondered about. If I said no, I would
always wonder if I made the right choice. If I said yes, I would have no
choice but to live the truth, no matter what it was. I would have to admit
that I liked to dress as a girl, a young woman, and be strong enough to
stay the course and be sure it was right, or wrong, for me. If I said no, I
would condemn myself to a life of turmoil and doubt. It was extremely
hard, yet somehow easy at the same time.
"Dad knows? Really?"
She nodded her head yes and took my hand in hers, closing it around
mine.
"If you can't do this now, with your family, how can you possibly think
that you can do it later? I will not force you, but it would be a mistake not
to at least try."
With my minds eye picturing dad's rage at me, it was hard to see him
accepting me this way, but mom said he would, so I slowly nodded my
head yes.
"Okay then. Finish setting the table and start on the salad while I work on
the meat."
Half an hour before Beth and Dad were to be there I went with mom to
her room where I touched up my lipstick, then she added some perfume to
my wrists and neck. If I had one I would have used a magnifying glass on
myself. I spent plenty of time looking at myself to make sure I looked as
good as possible. When we heard the door open she told me to stay there
and not to come down until she called for me. Nervous does not do justice
to the way I felt. It seemed like an eon passed before mom called out my
name.
"Okay Abigail, you can come down now."
I could shoot myself too. It might be the same thing, but it was now or
never. Now was the only option.
My heels clicked on the hardwood floors as I stepped down and walked
into the familyroom. Beth saw me first, her mouth opened but no sound
came out. Dad also stood up, the look on his face one of stunned
disbelief. His vision of me was clownish, kind of like my own, the reality
totally different.
"Damn! I think I'll just go back to school!"
Her eyes wide, a smile creasing her face, Beth held out her hand to me
and I took it. Dad stared at me, his eyes roving from my head to my feet
and back.
"I...I..."
"Your father is in shock for the moment Abigail."
"No, I'm...well, yes. I am in shock! I never thought that Andy could look
so...or be so...you know what I mean!"
The disbelief on his face was still there even as his eyes never left me. I
sat next to Beth on the couch, just as demurely as I could, my knees
locked firmly together. It was correct, but it also helped keep me from
shaking so much.
We all sat looking at each other, until mom broke the silence.
"Do you want to become a female? Or do you just like to dress up once in
a while?"
In my dreams I had wondered what it was like to be a female, to hold a
man in my arms, let him take me to his bed, be a mother, get pregnant,
then raise children. The lure of everything feminine drew me in like a
moth to the flame, yet, I didn't know the answer to her question. If I did,
it was hidden, deep in my mind, unwilling to tell even me.
"Well"?
"I don't know."
Her hand touched my arm, gentle, yet caring. Then she dropped her
bombshell.
"Maybe you should find out. Maybe you should experience what it means
to be a young woman. I mean live, work, date, all as a young woman.
Truly bring Abigail to life."
My heart was swelling with the very thought of what she suggested. I
could live out my fantasy! I could be the girl I wanted to be, the one I had
dreamed of for so long! Then the crashing reality of it came down on me.
Visions of laughter and pointed fingers, taunts and hatred rose up and
squeezed my heart. Before I could even put words to it, dad spoke up.
"You all know how I feel about this. I had hoped that you would follow
me into the trades Andy...Abigail, but I've known for a long time that
isn't for you. Maybe this is, I don't know. Women nowadays can have
good careers I guess, and I have to admit that you look very nice. Not at
all what I expected. If we agree to let you dress as a girl it has to be all or
none. That means there will be no exceptions... Abigail. Family outings,
work, day or night. Are you willing to do that?"
With no exceptions, dressing as a girl would be very hard on all of us,
especially dad and I. It was time to pay the Piper so to speak. I looked at
dad who sat there staring at me, no expression on his face. I wished he
would give me a sign, something to go by. Finally, I said
"Yes".
His face never changed, yet I felt his disappointment anyway.
Dinner was pleasant after all. Dad never mentioned how I was dressed,
what he expected of me or anything else. I knew, and he knew that I
already knew, so why bother? Beth however was acting so antsy that she
could hardly keep it in. Mom, Beth, and I did the dishes, then we all
watched television until it was time to go to bed. That night I slept in a
nightgown for the first time. I had, in a single day, opened up and
admitted my secret to my family, shown them how I looked, and hurt my
father. Did I win anything? His love was important to me because without
it I was half a person. And what about Beth? She was all smiles and
friendly, but she could be a real bitch when she wanted to be. Smiles
aside, she was quite capable of hurting me big time. Keep in mind that I
had worn her clothes that day. I'm sure she didn't mind, but...
In the morning I tried doing my makeup and hair, then put on clean
panties, that padded pantybrief and bra. The bra I had was the new
Pushemup brand. They pushed my chest up and into the cups, which I
padded with small bits of foam. My breasts were small, but almost all me
and I was proud of them. I pulled on my own white shorts and a tee, then
white ankle socks and my gym shoes. A dash of lipstick, then I went to
the kitchen. Mom was there with dad. They both looked at me, neither of
them smiled, but then, they didn't frown either.
"You look very nice this morning."
His voice sounded like a truck on a bad gravel road, making me scared
again. Then he smiled at me.
"I thought about this a lot last night. When I saw you for the first time
yesterday, everything I expected to see was wrong. Maybe I'm wrong
about a lot of other things as well. I can't say I'm happy about you
wearing girls clothes, but we'll try it and see how it goes. Okay?"
My emotions were still at the surface and I went to him and hugged him as
tight as I could. I felt his tears on my face as my own fell on his shirt.
Mom waited, then we all ate breakfast. Later, when Beth showed up, she
ate a quick bite then helped me clean the house.
When we were done mom said,
"since you have decided to be a girl, let's have another fun day and get
you a few more things to expand your wardrobe."
I nodded my head yes while Beth said she was going to come along. On
the way out of the house to go shopping again, Beth gave Dad a kiss on
the cheek. He looked at me, wondering I know, if I would do the same. I
did, then ran out to join Beth and mom, leaving him with two different
lipstick prints on his cheek.
The first place she took me was Sares, where she bought a dozen panties
in assorted colors, two bras in 34A, a tan padded pantybrief, and a waist
nipper in white. From there, we bought two dresses, two skirts, two
blouses, a sundress and a suit, then shoes. White and black heels, taupe
and white flats. Then I had my ears pierced. We stopped for lunch, then
we went home.
"Hang up or put away the clothes Abbie. You have two weeks left in
school yet. Maybe between now and then you would like to repaint your
bedroom. You and I can get some different drapes and bed spread as
well."
Before I could answer her, dad walked in.
"I've given this a lot of thought, and made some decisions. Since you
think you want to be a female, no later than the day after you are out of
school for the summer, you are to get your hair styled with a permanent.
You can't wear any of your male clothes at all, at any time, no matter
what, and slacks are out. Also, you have to have a job by the end of the
month. Any questions?"
Beth's well known bitchiness came to mind, so I mentioned it.
"Beth said she thought it was okay, but she thinks you're weird anyway.
When I reminded her that she was the only girl in her class to have a baby,
she shut right up. I'll take her back to school tomorrow, and remind her
how it is. If she doesn't like it she can pay for her own school. Is that
good enough?"
I nodded my head yes and dad left the room.
"I told you he would come around didn't I?"
"Ya but he hates it mom. I'm going against everything he believes in about
men."
"He'll get over that too Abbie, be patient."
During the two weeks I had left in school, mom and I picked out a color
for my room, which was a light green by the way, and I painted while
mom altered the new drapes. Mom and I talked about my impending
change every day. I didn't think I was ready, but she insisted that the only
way to get ready is to do it. I mentioned the other kids in the
neighborhood, and all she did was tell me I had to cross that bridge alone.
I wondered how I was going to keep from getting killed, but the die was
cast. I was about to become a girl, for the entire summer. The day before
school let out, dad brought home a small vanity. He and I set it up in my
room, then, after he left, I emptied my shoebox of cosmetics into it. On
the day school let out I went home and changed clothes, did my best as I
put on my makeup, brushed out my hair and put it in a ponytail. Mom
asked me,
"How about getting your hair cut and styled today Abbie? We can surprise
your dad."
"Okay mom."
By the time I left the salon, my hair had been cut, shaped and styled into a
shorter pageboy, curly down the back, wavy on the top with bangs swept
to one side, but no perm. Mom said I should learn how to do my hair
without a perm. My makeup had been redone by a pro, my eyebrows
tweezed and my nails filed and redone in a softer red polish. I never
looked, or felt, so feminine before. I was on cloud nine as I saw myself
for the first time when they were done. Every trace of my old male self
had been taken away, and if any of the women that worked on me knew,
or figured out I was really a male, they said nothing. Mom waited for me,
and when we were done she and I went home.
She followed me to my room, watching as I hung up the clothes, then
put things in my dresser.
"Lets talk Abbie."
While not a command, I let her lead me to the den.
"This dressing up of yours was a shock to both of us. Why didn't you tell
us before now? We would have made an effort to understand. Both your
father and I thought this was just some kind of experimentation, but now
of course, we know that it's a lot more than that."
Mom looked at me, her soft blue eyes showing concern, but not hate.
"I couldn't tell you mom. I wasn't that sure myself."
She nodded her head, then told me we were going out to dinner that night.
"I won't make you go Abigail, but we're going, and we want you to be
with us. Maybe you can help your father find a way for both of you to get
what you both want and need."
The memory of how I looked in the salon came to me but I hesitated.
"Does Dad know about this dinner tonight?"
"No, but he hasn't seen you all dressed up and out in public either."
"He's not going to like this at all mom!"
"He has no choice Abbie. Sooner or later he'll be out with you, so we
might as well start now. Now, why don't you change and let's go have a
nice dinner."
"Okay mom".
"Wear that new black dress we bought, and if you need any help, call
me."
In my room I took off the red skirt and my blouse, careful about my hair,
then put on the padded pantybrief and waist nipper. The black dress was a
sheath, that I could see fit like it was made for me. It had a round neck
with no sleeves, the hem a good three inches higher than my knees. It was
shorter than I imagined, but really looked good on me. The new black
heels went on my feet, I clipped on the gold earrings, and then the thin
gold watch mom gave me. I touched up my lipstick, and went to mom's
room.
"Oh my! You look spectacular! I wish I could wear something like that!"
She spritzed me with perfume, then gave me a black handbag.
"I'll be ready in a few minutes Abbie."
Mom
To say I was shocked at how pretty my son is when he's dressed up as a
girl would be an understatement. He makes his sister look frumpy in a lot
of ways. The first time I helped him get dressed I watched his reaction.
He never said anything, but I knew without any doubt he was thrilled
beyond words. I had to help him a bit with makeup, but he's a quick
learner, and today he did it by himself, and did it quite well. I half thought
he wouldn't set one foot in a salon, which was the test of course. His
father and I told him it would be a perm to see just how serious he was
about this. Abigail never said a word and boldly walked into the salon
with me. I did not let him get a perm of course, just a cut and style, but I
had his nails and makeup done. Now he's no longer simply beautiful,
he's gorgeous. Abigail still has some doubts, but they all center on his
father. To say he adores his father does not put it strongly enough, and
now that he has admitted he wants to be a girl, he's worried we'll stop
loving him. That's nonsense of course. Do we understand what drives our
son to do this? No. Will we try? Yes, but we are going to push him to the
limit to see how he reacts. When I told him he would have to cope with
the neighbors, he didn't like it, but he didn't change clothes either. I let
my hand slide down, and I touched myself, wondering what the allure
was for my son.
Abigail
I sat on the sofa, waiting in the familyroom when dad got home. Mom
told him we were going out to dinner, and he went to change. Unlike
mom and I, he was ready in twenty minutes.
Dinner was at a fine restaurant, and we talked about many things. I went
in expecting the worse, but I was accepted for what I seemed to be, a
young lady. "We're not going to turn you into anything you don't want to
be, but we are certain that living as a girl is the only way for you to find
out what you really want in life. Looking at you over the last few days
hasn't changed my mind, just my perception. You look very pretty,
maybe better than Beth in some ways, and I'll admit that you have
changed my idea of a male dressed as a female in a lot of ways already.
Maybe I was wrong."
For my father to say he was wrong is a statement of such enormity that I
was speechless!
"That's why" said mom,
"we bought those clothes for you today. We wanted you to have enough
clothes to get by on for a while. If this is what you want, I'll show you
everything you need to know to be a woman, from how to dress, sit,
walk, or even hem a skirt or dress if you want. Everything a girl should
know to become a lady."
After that, they said nothing more about it and we finished dinner and
went home.
The next day mom and I went shopping again, added blouses and some
tops, then more and better makeup. Those were just a few of the things
we picked up. I got some more earrings and so on of my own, shorts and
some jeans for girls. On the way home mom let me drive, telling me
where to turn and so on, ending up at a small shop. Instantly I knew why
we were there. Inside, I had to endure being fitted for the new partial
breastforms, but once they were molded and attached to my chest, and I
felt the weight of them, I instantly loved them. They looked great, and
made it seem as if I had breasts of my own! Mom paid the bill and we
went home.
"You're fortunate Abbie. The fitter told me that unlike the old ones, these
are made of the new latex and can stay on for months at a time! When I
saw them for the first time they looked so real that I can't imagine you
taking them off for any reason!"
Smiling, I thought, 'neither can I'.
That night I scanned most of my ID into the computer, then used a
picture from the digital camera to recreate everything with the name
Abigail Elizabeth Grant on them. Mom told me that she would take me to
get a new license the next day. I was on pins and needles all morning,
waiting for mom to take me. I had on the pleated tan skirt with a white
blouse and white flats. My makeup was as perfect as I could make it.
Mom had helped me with my hair and looked almost as good as I did in
the salon. I smelled of perfume, tasted the soft pink lipstick and not only
looked, but felt more like a girl than ever.
"It will be fine Abbie. Just relax."
She was right. The woman at the counter never even asked me what sex I
was. She simply marked the box for female, and I had a new license! As I
started to leave, a classmate, Valerie, walked up to me.
"I know you from somewhere. My name is Valerie."
"Abigail Grant" I said, then, as mom and I watched, her eyes grew wider.
"You're..."
"Her name is Abigail Grant Valerie." Mom was a bit forceful and Val
stayed silent.
"Can I come over this afternoon Abigail?"
I wasn't sure I wanted to discuss this change of mine with Valerie, but
looked at mom who nodded her head yes.
"Okay Valerie. See you then!"
I got in on the drivers side and sagged against the wheel. "I'm dead for
sure mom!"
"Not necessarily Abbie. Valerie seemed to be a nice girl. She'll
understand."
"She's also one of the most popular girls in school mom. You saw her.
She's gorgeous, has that smile of hers, and boys chase after her all the
time. I should be so lucky to be like her!"
"You might be. Just be patient."
I was on pins and needles as I waited for Valerie to show up, which mom
thought was funny. I checked and rechecked my makeup and hair, added
perfume and lipstick, and paced the kitchen. Finally, Valerie showed up.
Valerie
When I saw Andy, er, Abbie, I was shocked to say the least. Oh, I had
seen boys dressed as girls before, my brother even did it a few times at
Halloween. But this isn't Halloween, and Abigail looks spectacular to say
the least. I never knew that Andy wanted to dress like a girl, and I've
known him since grade school! The fact that she was getting a new drivers
license, dressed that way, can only mean one thing, and that is she intends
be here a while, and with her mother there, it's obvious that her parents
are letting her do this, even helping her in a lot of ways. I know what kind
of person Andy is, and I can't imagine Abigail being any different, but I
had to find out, so I asked if I could come over to her house. I have no
idea how this will work out, but I'll give her a chance to tell me before I
make up my mind.
Abigail
I let Valerie into the house, and at mom's urging, we went out on the
patio. Compared to her I was still just a boy in a skirt, and as she let her
eyes roam over me I felt like a butterfly stuck on a board.
"Damn! I never would have guessed this about you! You look terrific!
No, better than that, you're gorgeous!"
She took my hand in hers and demanded that I tell her all. My secret was
out now anyway wasn't it?, so what did I have to lose? She listened to
me, then, when I was done she sat back.
"Not very many kids are going to understand this Abbie, you know that
don't you?"
I nodded my head yes.
"Some, maybe even most of the guys certainly won't, and might even get
violent about it if they hit on you and then find out. Myself, I don't care,
but trust me on this, you'll have to be very careful, or so damn good at it
that nobody would ever know, or figure it out."
The despair that had plagued me for so long once again rose in my throat,
swelling until I felt myself wanting to cry.
"Looking at you Abbie, I'd say that you have the looking good part down
pretty good. Now all you have to do is master the rest and get on with
your life." Valerie turned out to be a lot more open minded than I had
thought.
I sat and looked at her, so scared of the future that I hardly spoke at all.
"What you need is a coach!"
"Coach?"
"Sure. Somebody to show you how to be a teenage girl, and who better
than me?" Valerie represented everything I liked in a girl. She has that
smile, those beautiful green eyes of hers, and of course, when she
walked, it was like watching fluid in motion. She's smart and pretty,
popular, never without a date if she wanted one, and almost always
cheerful. As an example of the perfect girl, she is my idol. As an example
of what I will never be, I hate her.
"Will you let me help you Abbie?"
As a tear rolled down my cheek I nodded my head yes, and I saw her
smile at me. "I think we should make sure you're seen, and the best way
to do that is to walk around the mall, Game?"
That familiar lump appeared in my throat again, and my first instinct was
to say no, but I swallowed hard, and slowly nodded my head yes.
"I have to tell mom."
"I'll wait here then Abbie."
Mom gave me some money and told me to buy a new wallet, and to have
fun. Fun. I was walking straight into the executioners axe, or nothing
would happen. Either way I would be in deeper than I ever imagined I
would be just three weeks ago. Valerie and I walked across the yard, then
down the street to the mall. It's a four block walk. By the time we reached
the first corner Valerie wanted to know how I managed to look so nice,
and all I could tell her was that this is the way I turned out.
"Trust me Abbie, as long as you don't do anything stupid you'll be fine.
Hell, you look better than some of my friends!"
I thought she was being nice, then she asked me to think about Melissa.
That brought a smile to my lips. Melissa is very nice, and some would say
pretty, but she is way overweight, and doesn't have a clue when it comes
to makeup or hair. I suppressed my smile and tried to keep in step with
her.
I told Valerie I needed a new wallet, so we went into a store and I found
one on sale. I bought it, then transferred my things to the new wallet.
Valerie saw my temporary license and snatched it away.
"It says your name is Abigail Elizabeth Grant, a female aged 17!"
I smiled as I put it in the wallet, and then in my purse.
"This is great!"
"Why?"
"Because you have legal identification that says you are a girl silly!"
I still didn't get it.
"Listen Abbie, if someone questions you, you'll be able to prove you are
who you say you are, and who's going to argue with the state and your
mother?"
That simple statement brought me to life when I realized she was right,
and compared to Melissa and maybe a few others, I did look okay, and
now that I could prove I was a girl, I felt myself relaxing, and smiled at
Valerie. We went into all of the shoe stores, a fancy lingerie shop, then
into a perfume shop. So far I had only used mom's scent, so Valerie and I
decided that I needed one of my own. I smelled a few, then I came to one
I liked, and bought a very small bottle. It almost broke me, and Valerie
just laughed!
"It's the price we pay to smell better than the guys do Abbie."
Just as we walked out of the shop we ran smack into the horde. That's
what most of the kids call these guys.
Valerie
When Abbie told me about how she felt, and the fear she always tasted
when she dressed up in the past I understood. No matter what she was
under the clothes, she looked great, but she doesn't believe it yet. Her
mother and I see it, but Abbie is still scared to death in a lot of ways. I
think that as long as she is with someone she trusts, she's okay, but the
minute she's alone she lapses into this funky I can't do it routine. That's
why I asked her to come to the mall with me. It's crowded, a lot of our
friends are usually there, and if she survives there, she'll feel better about
herself. Besides that, she's my friend.
Abigail
The horde is made up of a bunch of losers that are actually proud of the
fact that all of them have flunked at least one grade. They all tried to grow
beards or moustaches, usually wore tight jeans and blue Hawaiian shirts
under leather jackets with clunky boots. Their so called leader is Rancid,
real name Raymond, a slob if there ever was one. I was sure their
collective IQ was somewhat less than our cat, who at least kept herself
clean. I couldn't say the same for the horde. Valerie and I tried to walk
around them but an arm snaked out and grabbed me, spun me around and
held me there.
"Looky here! A new chick, and she's a real looker too!"
"Let her go you big ape!"
Valerie was pounding on his arm, which he ignored, and slipped his hand
to my right breast and squeezed. Some of my breast was me, some was
silicone, so it didn't hurt as much as it could have, but I mashed down on
his foot trying to get away. It didn't even phase him. Rancid is head taller
than I am and outweighs me by 50 pounds, so it was no contest really.
Valerie kicked him and was yanked back by one of his goons, then, as she
tried to scream he clamped a hand over her mouth. I saw a finger tapping
Rancid on the shoulder, then a fist as it sailed past my ear and connected. I
heard the bone in his nose break, and as he let go of me so he could face
our hero, he pulled a knife.
With blood streaming down his face Rancid wasn't afraid to return the
favor, and looked very angry.
"Come on pal, let's see if you can beat this!"
Rancid lunged, and the guy stepped aside, letting Rancid go by, then he
kicked him hard, right in the underwear. We all heard the groan, and
watched as Rancid fell to the floor in a tight ball, moaning in pain. Mall
security came running, and the goons let Valerie go, running down the
concourse, leaving their leader to face the music all alone. I was shaking,
afraid for a variety of reasons. Lets start with the fact that I am a boy in a
skirt and blouse. I was scared to death when Rancid grabbed me, and
now, I'm standing here waiting for security to take our names and so on.
That's when I learned the name of our hero. He's tall and husky with
blond hair cut short and brown eyes. He stood there easily, sure of
himself, unafraid of anything. His name is Stanley. I must have been
staring because Valerie nudged me, then smiled at me. A female officer
asked us if we were okay, then we had to give her our ID. I handed her
my temporary license and waited. None of us were hurt at all, just scared.
Rancid had to be hauled away in an ambulance.
"Thank you for helping us!"
"My pleasure. I'm Stan Wood by the way."
"Hi. I'm Valerie, and this is Abigail."
Stan didn't seem the least excited by what he had just done, his face was
calm, a smile on his face wide, and more, he was staring at me! Valerie
was grinning, I was trying.
"Let me buy you ladies a soda. To make up for this."
Before I could say a word,
"We'd like that Stan."
Without a word Valerie took one arm, so I took the other, walking along
together until we reached the caf? area. Stan went to get our drinks, and
Valerie was almost jumping out of her chair.
"Girl, he's got eyes for you! Lucky girl."
"No!"
"Oh yes. You saw the way he was staring at you, that can only mean one
thing." Just then Stan returned.
I was sipping on my drink, trying to be very feminine, just in case
Valerie was right, when Stan asked if he could call me! I almost choked
on my drink. "I'm new here, and I don't know anybody, except you two
of course."
Trying to steer away from the issue of his calling me, I told him he looked
pretty cool when he took out Rancid.
"It's all a matter of leverage and timing. He didn't have a clue how to use
a knife, so it was easy to bait him, and he fell for it."
He saw the question on my face and he laughed.
"You never toss a knife from one hand to the other. You lose control that
way. He was all mouth anyway. It was nothing."
I was impressed as hell, because I couldn't take Rancid on my best day,
as compared to Stan's worst, and Stan merely shook it off like it was
nothing!
"Let me walk you girls home."
"Sure!"
Valerie was at it again, but there wasn't any gracious way to say no, so,
with Val on one side and me on the other, we headed back home.
Valerie's house was first, so we dropped her off, and I said I could make
it from there, but he wasn't having any of that, took my hand in his and
asked me to lead the way. We walked the other two blocks hand in hand,
then, as we turned the corner I saw that dads truck was in the driveway.
This might not be good, but he had agreed, insisted in fact, that I dress as
a girl, and now I was stuck holding Stan's hand We walked up the
driveway together. Dad saw us, then came over.
"Daddy, this is Stan Wood. He saved Valerie and I today. We were
attacked in the mall and Stan flattened him!"
I didn't want to sound like I was in awe, but I was, and it came out that
way. "It was Rancid dad."
"That's the puke that thinks he's tough?"
I nodded my head yes.
"He wouldn't like to have me see him trying that!"
That statement was true. Dad would turn Rancid into plumbers putty in a
hot minute, but Rancid knows when to be cool and when not. He would
never try anything around my dad or any other male he thought could take
him. That's what happened with Stan, but Rancid made a mistake.
"He had a knife dad, but Stan broke his nose, and kicked him in
the...underwear, then took it away from him!"
Dad looked at Stan and smiled.
"I owe you son. Thanks for watching out for Abbie."
"It was nothing sir. But sir, can I call on Abbie in the future sir?"
"Of course! Here's my card, our number is right there."
Stan kissed my hand, shook dad's and walked down the street.
"How could you do that to me!"
"What?"
Dad didn't get it and I stormed in the house, my skirt flaring as I turned
and ran. I was in my room when mom came in and shut the door. She
was smiling at me I noticed.
"Had a nice afternoon I see!"
"Dad said Stan could call me!"
"Why shouldn't he call you?"
I told her what happened, even about Rancid grabbing my breast, and
everything Stan had done.
"It sounds like he is attracted to you Abbie. I saw him, and he's very cute.
You make a cute couple."
"Mom!"
"Don't mom me young lady! I'll bet that you even thought of something
like this happening. This might be exactly what you need."
I sat on the bed while she sat at the vanity.
"This is what I told you about. I said there would be a boy out there who
would be attracted to you, and now that you're dressing as a girl, you
would have to cope with it. This boy sounds like he's very nice Abigail,
and you should think about it before you say no if he asks you out."
She was right. I had thought about something like this happening to me.
What made me nervous was that I was hoping it would, but I couldn't
admit that out loud. I could hardly admit it to myself! Stan is everything
my dad wanted in a son. Tall, good looking, strong as an ox, smart and
polite. I'm short, pudgy in a few places, and not nearly as strong as most
boys my age. I'm smart and polite, which ends our similarities, other than
we are both males. Now I knew that I was attractive enough to have a boy
want to be with me, but exactly how do I manage to keep him from
finding out about me? We ate on the patio that night, and dad was grinning
at me all through dinner, but didn't say anything about Stan, or myself.
Dad
As a father, we all want our children to do well. I had hoped that Andy
would join me and become a plumber. He became a girl instead, which
scares me in a lot of ways. One, Abigail is actually very cute, something I
never expected, two, she seems to have jumped into this with both feet,
never looking back. Then of course there's three. Stan. To see them
walking along holding hands shook me to the core, then I heard what Stan
had done to Rancid. I'll admit that Stan is everything a father could want
in a boy his daughter would date. But Abigail is my son! I didn't see one
sign that Abbie was the least bit afraid for me to see them together, then,
when she described what had happened, she sounded like an awe struck
little girl! The fact that this Rancid character, who has terrorized the school
for years, was stomped to the ground by Stan, only reinforced that there
was no way Andy could have beat them off. He is simply too small.
Valerie might be a good influence on Abigail, certainly better than her
sister Beth. All I can do at this point is go along with this...change, and
hope for the best, but she and her mother are repainting her bedroom and
redecorating it to look more like a girls room! I hope she learns a lot.
Three months is long enough for Abigail to find herself, but when she
goes back to school, it will be Andy that goes.
Mom
Abigail is confused right now. First she had to struggle, then admit to first
me, then her father, that she wants to be a girl. She didn't say it, but I
know that she doesn't want to be a boy in a dress, but a real girl. We set
up a test to call her on it, but she had her hair and nails done as if it were
the most natural thing in the world. Then she wanted to repaint her
bedroom, and now, there is Stan. She's set high goals for herself, but
she's scared to death that she will be discovered. Abbie tries to cover her
fear with a smile, but I know. Her father doesn't. I'm willing to bet that it
was circumstance rather than an invitation that led Stan to walk her home,
but when she showed up hand in hand with him, she looked as if it was
the most normal thing in the world, and I'm beginning to wonder if we
did the right thing. Letting her dress all the time I mean. Abbie is
becoming more and more feminine each day, and that's scaring her father.
I am very concerned.
Abigail
Over the next few days I rearranged my bedroom, then mom let me pick
out some pictures from the ones she had stored away. All of them were of
small bears prancing in the woods. This was definitely going farther than I
planned, but I picked out the colors and the paintings, so I did not object,
and the next day I had a bedspread to match the paintings, frilly pillows
and all! I usually wore jeans or shorts, sometimes no makeup, sometimes
a lot, yet mom said nothing. Valerie came over once and helped us
decorate my room. We talked about Stan, her boyfriend Greg, and
generally goofed off. I showed her some of the Internet sites I had found
that catered to boys like me, and she was stunned to see how many of
them actually looked good. Some had impressive cleavage, a nice figure,
and absolutely beautiful faces, some were less convincing of course, but
on average, most of them could walk into a crowded mall and nobody
could pick them out of the crowd. Valerie went home, and I did some
more searching. Then I stumbled across a site that sold everything I would
need to convince most people that I was a girl. I quickly clicked through
the various pages, stopping on the one that detailed what I saw, and how
to order it. I read it twice, and had bookmarked the page when mom
walked into my room, and saw what I was looking at.
"Oh my God! That looks real!"
"It's a full panty mom. It's especially made for guys like me. It has a built
in sheath for my... well, if I had one these panties I would be sitting down
in the bathroom, just like you and Beth."
I clicked through all of the pictures again, then I printed out the
instructions on how to order one to match my skin tone. Mom grabbed it,
read it, then sat back, staring at me.
"If we let you buy one of these panties, you and I will have to have a
serious talk about boys and girls!"
"Mom!"
"That's what your sister said and she ended up pregnant!"
"Mom, that's ridiculous! I can't get pregnant, now matter what I do!"
"That's true, but it says right here that sex is possible, and that makes you
just as susceptible as any other girl."
"Mom, I'm not Beth, I'm me."
That brought her up short. Beth was a little wild, and went out with
some guys that dad really didn't like, some of them secretly. That's how
she ended up pregnant. I'm not sure she learned a lesson from it, but it's
her life, not mine, and I refused to be lumped into the same group as Beth.
I identify with mom or Valerie. They are the kind of girl I want to be.
"Your right Abbie, I'm sorry. This panty isn't that expensive, but we'll
have to tell your father about it."
"Do we have to tell him I could have sex? He'll go ballistic if he finds
out."
"No, I guess we don't have to tell him that. Show me that site again
Abbie."
I went back to it, and as we flipped through the pages, she saw the other
girls that wore one, and looked perfectly real to us.
"That would complete the picture wouldn't it?"
If she bought it for me I would be able to solve a number of other
problems. I'd like to have it of course.
"Print the instructions for that page as well Abbie."
I did as she asked, then I shut down and we went to fix dinner. Mom was
the one to show dad the pictures, and insisted that I needed it, if only for
my own protection, and he finally agreed. He also hated it.
The next morning told me we were going shopping. I did my makeup,
slipped on my gym shoes, and we went to an art supply store where we
determined the exact skin tone I had in my groin. On the way home mom
didn't say a word, but when we got home she and I went to my room
where I stripped so she could apply the gel mold to my lower body. It
took almost an hour to set, then she carefully removed the mold. When we
looked at it, there was a perfect replica of my lower body imbedded in the
gel. Then she took my natural waist and hip measurements, wrote them
down and we decided together what the ideal figure would be for me.
Beth wears a 36, just like mom, so mom thought that I should be the same
size. When we were done, we had decided that I should be 34-25-35.
"I'll pack these up and send them. You get dressed."
I don't know how he managed it, but Stan found my number and called
that night. Dad answered the phone and handed it to me. Stan wanted to
take me to a show on Friday night. In my heart I was sure he would call
me. Now all I had to do was respond, and I did. I agreed, then he said he
would be over at seven to get me. Friday is three days away. I told mom
but not dad. I didn't think he was ready for me to be dating a boy. All I
had to do was convince him, and I had three days to manage it. I was
more than surprised when I heard the doorbell ring Thursday afternoon,
then I saw the delivery truck. I signed for the box, saw it was addressed
to me, and quickly went to my room so I could open it in private. Inside I
found the panty mom and I had ordered. I went to find mom, then she and
I went back to my room. After reading the instructions twice, she used the
included adhesive to attach the panty. It was hard to get on, but we
managed. The upper edge, at my waist, was glued in place, then, when
we were done, I stood in front of the mirror and looked. The skin color on
the panty were a perfect match for my own skin, and even up close it was
very hard to tell if it was me, or latex, silicone and glue!
"I think we can convince your father now Abbie, if you want to do a little
shopping that is."
I did, and I quickly dressed. This time the panties fit me like they are
supposed to, the bra held me in just right. I slipped on my shorts, and saw
that they now fit me like they would any girl. I have a clearly defined
groin area that tapers to a wedge between my legs, breasts that bounced a
little when I walked. Between the partial breastforms, which made it look
as if I actually had breasts, and the panty, there no sign that I was a male
anywhere. Mom saw me grinning, and simply told me to get in the car.
What mom had in mind was a powder blue babydoll set that was so sheer
it would be like wearing a vaporous cloud around myself. If I wore the
panties, my groin would be hidden of course, but as soon as we bought it
I knew that I wasn't going to wear them. I 3was getting to be as sneaky as
mom! The minute we got home I called Valerie and told her I wanted to
come over, so I left for her house on foot.
Her mother, who knew me, didn't say a word as Valerie introduced me,
then I told her I had something to show her, and could we go up to her
bedroom. Valerie led the way, then, as soon as the door was closed, I told
her I had something to show her, then I unbuttoned my blouse, took it
off, and unhooked my bra, letting my breasts free. I heard her gasp even
as I slipped my shorts off and yanked down my panties. The look on her
face was priceless, and I quickly got dressed again while she groped for
something to say.
"That is a really cool trick Abbie! Care to tell me how you did it?"
"No, and this has to be our secret. Only me, you, and mom know, and I
want to keep it that way. Okay"
She smiled and agreed, then I told her that Stan had asked me out, and I
accepted his invitation to go to the show with him on Friday. Valerie
visibly relaxed after I showed her my new attributes, and we both knew
that we were going to have a fun summer together.
Valerie
When Abbie showed me her...assets, I was shocked at how much she
looked like me! You would never know unless you were up close, or she
told you. I was standing just a few feet away and I couldn't tell! Abbie
was grinning as she got dressed, and I was now sure she was very
serious about this. That afternoon we stayed in my room talking, mostly
about what she was going to do in the future. She said she didn't know,
but she doesn't want to give up Abigail under any circumstance, and I'm
beginning to wonder if I want her to stay as well.
Abigail
That night after dinner, when mom winked at me, I went to my room and
slipped on the babydoll and robe set. I wore Beth's old bunny slippers,
slipped the robe on, but didn't fasten the sash, and went down the stairs
and into the familyroom. Dad looked up, his eyes growing wide when he
saw my breasts clearly defined by the wisp of thin material. I watched as
his eyes moved down, and the tapering hair on my groin stood out, the
thin slit that defined my new reality not seen, but evidently there. His
mouth opened, then closed, then