Draft Dodger On The Rag - A Bunny's Tale free porn video

DRAFT DOGER ON THE RAG - A BUNNY'S TALE By: Deane Christopher Copyrighted: 2000 *********************************************************************** **** Draft Dodger on the Rag - A Bunny's Tale is the direct result of three different ideas coming together to form the bases for a single story. It all started with a suggestion from Mindy Rich for me to use some or all of the photos that she had posted on the Original Fictionmania from the made for TV movie A Bunny's Tale staring Kristie Alley for a future story with images submission. Secondly, at the time there was some discussion on Fictionmania's Hyperboard revolving around the writing of TG based Romance Stories, the same discussions that I believe may have prompted Femur to host a Romance Writing Contest. While I knew that I could never complete Draft Dodger on the Rag - A Bunny's Tale in time to submit it to Femur's Contest, I was nonetheless intrigued with the idea of trying my hand at a story that had at its' core, a tread of romance. Thirdly, I wished to formulate yet another story that had its' protagonist reluctantly opt to become a female rather than face some other less desirable consequences, much as I had in my story The Witness Protection Plan with a TG Twist. Once again, I would like to apologize for writing yet another long and ponderous story. As odd as it might sound, it was never meant to be as long as it is. However, as these things often happen, once created, the characters pretty much took over the story and took it places I never ever expect it to go. I would l like to take this opportunity to dedicate this story to MINDY RICH and her brainchild FICTIONMANIA. *********************************************************************** **** DRAFT DODGER ON THE RAGE - A BUNNY'S TALE (With full apologies to the late, great topical singer song-writer Phil Ochs.) Nineteen Sixty Seven started out as a bad year for one Joshua Everett Oats. Trouble was, as the year lengthened towards Nineteen Sixty Eight, it only got worse. On the Feast of the Epiphany, just six days into the new year, the current love of Josh's life gave him the big kiss-off. Four weeks after that, in a mandatory meeting proscribed by a grade point average that had taken a serious, but far from fatal turn for the worst, a mutual decision was arrived upon. Josh, who had always defer to authority figures prior to that point in his life, got his dander up and vehemently complained that his grade point average was more the college's fault than his. As far as Josh was concerned, if the powers that be had hired competent teachers to begin with, then they wouldn't have had to give two of his fall semester teachers their walking papers; one, only six classes before finals, and the other, only three classes prior to term's end. Then, to add insult to injury, though Josh had aced one of the departmentally prepared finals and scored an eighty eight percent on the other, he was only credited with a pair of 'C's for the two courses. When asked why that was so, Josh was perfunctory informed that, due to the fact that no other grades had been recorded by the recently and righteously dismissed incompetent teacher want-a-bes, the college could only see their way clear to granting a 'C' for a passing grade on the final exam. That pissed Josh off royally. Emphatically, becoming more than a little boisterous in the process, he told his guidance councilor and the pompous ass who functioning as the assistant dean of students that it wasn't fair. He had been carrying solid 'Bs' in the other two classes he had been taking that semester. However, due to the vast amount of cramming he had done in marathon all-nighters in order to get ready for the two exams that the respective department heads had prepared as a means to salvage those damn near worthless courses, Josh had, due to severe time constraints, neglected to adequately prepare himself for the other two exams he had to take that semester. That being the case, Josh proceeded on to point out the fact that as far as he was concerned, it was neither fair nor just that he end up with four 'Cs' instead of one 'A', one 'B' and the two four credit 'Cs' he had ended up with as a result of what had occurred through no fault of his own. While both his guidance councilor and the assistant dean of students freely conceded all the points that he made to be valid ones, Josh failed in his attempts to obtain the concessions he felt entirely justified in requesting. Basically, what it all came down to was your basic love it or leave it kind of situation. Josh, opted for that later. Taking an immense amount of pure, unadulterated pleasure in doing so, Josh, astounding the shit out of himself as he did so, uncharacteristically informed the pair of them that they could take that Mickey Mouse community college of theirs and cram it up where the sun don't shine! Sideways! Exhilarated beyond belief, Josh Everett Oats stormed out of the conference room, briskly strolled across the college's entrance foyer and out into the central quadrangle, where upon, he gleefully embraced the soaring joy that rides the Icarus-like wings of righteous indignation. However, by the time Josh made it out to the school's student parking lot and his dilapidated, hideous, drab green VW micro- bus, the reality of the situation hit him like a bomb-bay load of 500 pounders dropped by a B52. He had just gone and lost his student deferment. His hastily spoken words had just made him 1A and therefore, a prime candidate for the draft. Next stop - Vietnam! Three years before, when he had been a junior in high school, an older boy who had lived just a few houses down from the Oats, returned from a tour of duty as a Special Forces Advisor in South Vietnam and, during one of the many ensuing conversations, adamantly informed the young and extremely impressionable Josh that his participation in the fiasco that was taking place in Vietnam was something that should be avoided at all cost. Those conversations presented Josh with a quandary that he could never quite resolve. On one hand, he sincerely believed that he owed his country his service. If he as a citizen of the United States of America wished to enjoy the rights and liberties established by the founding fathers as decreed within the Constitution of The United States and its' ratified Amendments, Josh felt that he had an obligation to help preserve, protect and defend both it and the republic those brilliantly stated and cherished concepts had established. He believed in the citizen soldier. He believed the best way for a country to avoid war was to be always vigilant, always prepared and ready to fight at the drop of a hat should the need arise. And once engaged, Josh believed that the war should be prosecuted with all the resources, manpower and fervor that the United States could bring to bare against the enemy. Trouble was, technically speaking, though Americans were fighting and dying there, Vietnam wasn't a war. It was a conflict. A civil war. A fight between North Vietnam and South Vietnam. Everyone knew that North Vietnam wasn't a threat to the integrity of the United States. Furthermore, neither John Fitzgerald Kennedy nor Lyndon Baines Johnson had had the balls to ask congress for a declaration of war. Nor, had the lily livered congress seen fit to declare one. Yet, American service men were being sent there to fight and die in ever increasing numbers. There was no way in hell that Josh wanted to be involved in a war that he believed to be unconstitutional and therefore, an illegal one. If the government was going to ask him to fight and possible die for a country, he damn right well wanted that country to be the good old U. S. of A.! However, even though he felt that way, Josh still believed that he owed his country his service. And because he did, fully aware that he could always end up on small, lightly armed, swift patrol craft warily cruising up and down some God forsaken section of the Mekong River or one of its' numerous tributaries, Josh did what he deemed to be the honorable thing. During the first week of February, he went to see a Navy recruiter. At the time, the recruiter informed Josh that the Navy was employing what was termed a delayed enlistment program and that were he to enlist, he would be dutifully sworn in at the time of his physical and six months later, at the Navy's expense, report for duty at the Navy's Great Lakes Training Center. However, as the recruiter continued through the litany of items that had to be covered, he chanced upon a bug-a-boo that could prevent Josh from being inducted into the United States Navy. Roughly fifteen months before all this was transpiring, Josh had experienced a spontaneous pneumothorax of his right lung. Somehow, though his doctor never could ascertain the exit point, air had passed out of his lung and into his chest cavity, partial deflating the lung in the process. The chief petty officer at the Navy recruitment center suggested that if Josh really wanted to enlist in the Navy, a waiver from his doctor might do the trick. Though it meant that Josh would have to serve a full six years of active duty, the electronic schools that the recruiter had made mention of seemed like the way for him to go and so, Josh took the CPO's advice to heart and made an appointment with the chest specialist that had admitted him to the hospital and subsequently, pumped the residual air out of his pleura membrane. Four weeks later, with waiver in hand, Josh reported to a local Army base for his pre-induction physical. After a grueling and dehumanizing five hours that consisted of a lot more hurry up and wait than the actual elements of the pre-induction physical he had let himself in for, Josh, along with about fifteen other guys, was directed to proceed into a room where the actual oath was to be administered. When it became his turn to do so, Josh handed his paperwork over to the designated Army enlisted man who in turn, began to shuffle through it to make sure everything was in order. Coming upon the medical waiver, the enlisted man, unsure as what to do with it, brought it to the attention of his superior, a burly, barrel chested Navy CPO, who in turn, brought it to the attention of the officer in charge, a very young and ill at ease looking Navy lieutenant JG. No one, it appeared, knew how to proceed and because they didn't, a rather lengthy ad hoc discussion took place. Then, when the weathered faced CPO brought it to his lieutenant's attention that they were running behind scheduled and that they had best get their shit in gear and complete the induction ceremony with the administering of the oath and the subsequent passing out of orders, the lieutenant made a command decision to accept Josh's medical waiver at face value. Ten minutes later, with orders in hand to report to the Great Lakes Naval Training Facilities in approximately six months time, Josh, now a brand spanking new swabbie, proceeded out of the induction center and proudly, feeling as if he had just done the right thing, made his way out to the parking lot, en route to his soon to be up for sale, rust-eaten VW micro-bus. Three weeks later, Josh's dad suffered a massive coronary. Alerted to the situation by the screaming entreatments of his near frantic mother, Josh arrived on the scene and endeavored to revive his father through the administration of CPR and mouth to mouth. Even though he was fully cognizant of the fact that his efforts had failed to sustain his dad's life, Josh, for his mother's sake, kept at it until the ambulance crew relieved him. Ironically, it was at the funeral home that a grieving Josh Oats renewed his friendship with a girl that he had dated on an on and off bases all throughout his high school years. A doctor could not have prescribed a better medicine to help Josh deal with the tragic and unexpected loss of his father than the spunky and extremely attractive Bitsy MacNamara. Although she remained a constant and confounding enigma for him to try and figure out, Bitsy was none the less Josh's truest and most trusted friend. He could tell her anything and know, with a sheer and utter certainty, that whatever he had told her would go no further. And in like respect, Bitsy could confide him, knowing that he would never think to betray her trust. As Bitsy so often quipped: they were soul-mates; joined at the nexus of their eternal and quintessential beings. Josh valued their friendship, keenly aware that Bitsy valued it as much or more so than he did himself. Trouble was, each and every time Josh tried to take their friendship to the next logical level, Bitsy either back away, ignored or staunchly resisted his efforts. But though she did, whenever he would call her to see if she would like to go out somewhere together, like to a movie, party, school sponsored dance or some other such social activity, it was the rare occasion in which she did not take him up on the offer. To make matters worse, Josh's parents liked Bitsy so much that early on in their association with her, they actually began to accorded her as the daughter they never had, with the implication being that they wouldn't be at all averse to one day having such a charming and vivacious young woman as their daughter-in-law. And to be honest, Josh wouldn't have minded that eventuality one iota either, for Josh had been smitten with the chestnut haired Bitsy MacNamara long before he ever got up the gumption to call her up and ask her out. But then again, damn near every other swinging dick that Josh knew or associated with, at one time or another, had had the hots for Bitsy MacNamara, due to the fact that she was an unmitigated fox, who could have easily had her pick of any guy she wanted. Why she demeaned herself by keeping company with an average joe like Josh, never failed to confound and amaze him. He just couldn't quite figure her out. Each and every time Josh thought he had, damn if Bitsy didn't do something, or say something, to further confuse and confound him. For instance, Bitsy would aggressively and insistently encourage him to date other girls, going so far upon occasions as to even arrange blind dates for him, and then act all jealous, moody and out of sorts whenever he would continue on to establish a one on one relationship with one of the young girls she had fixed him up with. And then there was the odd, not to mention frustrating way she handled their intimacy, or rather, the lack there of. While Bitsy was always grabbing for his hand, even during those times when they weren't officially dating, she made it quite clear, on numerous occasions, that if Josh thought that their holding hands was an open invitation for him to make a move on her, he had another think coming. On rare occasions, Josh was not only allowed, but more often than not, encouraged to put his arm around her, so that the two of them could cuddle and there by, commiserate with one another, up close and personal like. But that, and the obligatory goodnight, closed mouth kiss was the extent of the touchy-feelly shit that Bitsy would allow. Everything else was strictly and stringently verboten. In other words, from everything Josh could gleam, Bitsy only wanted a platonic relationship with him, according him in much as she might a twin bother. Trouble was, Josh, though he tried like hell to adjust his thinking to suit Bitsy's wishes, came to the sad realization that he was hopelessly in loved her. Over and over and over again, though he knew how utterly foolish he was being, the damn near omnipresent and endearing thoughts he entertained for the mind-enshrined Miss Bitsy MacNamara kept him from giving any other young the lady he dated the opportunity needed to win his heart. It was during the Christmas holiday break of their senior year in high school that Bitsy, during a pleasant dinner at the Oats' house, made the announcement that she had come to a decision, with that decision being: she was going to become a nun and would therefore, enter the Novitiate of The Sisters of The Blessed Virgin the following fall. Though her announcement put to rest a lot of Josh's unanswered questions, he never the less took it hard. Any hope that he had that Bitsy might one day come to her senses and return the love he stubbornly and tenaciously harbored for her, had been dashed in one fell swoop. Knowing that his relationship with Bitsy would undergo a drastic and, from his point of view, catastrophic redefining come the next September, Josh took it upon himself to make the most of the time he had left with her. To that end, Josh devoted damn near all of his weekends to spending as much time as he possible could with her. They became damn near inseparable. Josh even asked Bitsy if she could once again see her way clear to doing him the honor of consenting to being his date for his senior prom, much as she had the previous year when she had graciously acquiesced to accompanying him to his junior prom. Informing him that he was a big ninny as she did so, Bitsy teasingly told Josh that she would agree to be his date for his school's prom on one condition, with that condition being: that he had to reciprocate by escorting her to her high school's senior prom. That summer, just a few short weeks prior to perusing her vocational calling by entering the Senior Novitiate of The Sisters of The Blessed Virgin with her expressed hope of becoming a teaching sister of their order, Bitsy shocked the shit of Josh. While the two of them were attending a late evening birthday bash of a mutual friend of their's at a near by community pool that had been rented for the occasion, Bitsy, impishly dragged a very bemused, bewildered and clearly astonished Josh Oats into the concealing shadows of the pool's cinder block pump house and proceeded, in a most brazen and wanton manner, to aggressively assuage those long desired, long denied, crass and carnal needs of his. A short while later, as the two of them wearily struggled back into their bathing suits, Bitsy, with an endearing kiss to punctuate her rejoinder, tenderly informed Josh that he was not to read anything into what had just occurred between them. Emphatically, so as to not encourage any sort of false hope, she continued on to inform Josh that she hadn't for one minute changed her mind about becoming a nun. Then, by way of an explanation for having done what she had gone and done, Bitsy tearfully informed Josh that she had wanted to give him a gift he would always remember, always cherish and so, she had given him the gift of herself. Later, as the two of them sat all off by their lonesomes, commiserating with one another, Bitsy, clutching Josh's hand in an impassioned death grip, proceeded on informed him that she knew, without his ever having to say so, that he loved her and that, in some fashion or another, he always would. Reenforcing her oft spoken declaration that they were soul-mates, tethered in some mystical, marvellous way that bound their spirits together in the everlasting love of the Almighty, Bitsy, with another tender and endearing kiss to his tear moistened lips, unknowingly condemning Josh to a life of unspeakable torment as she did so, informed him that though she had never said so before, she loved him more than he would ever know, but that for some inexplicable reason that she preferred to withhold from him, their love could never be. Bitsy, though it clearly pained her to do so, continued on to inform Josh that she thought that it would be in both their best interest if they said their last good-byes that night and not see or call one another again before she left for the novitiate. Though Josh immediately regretted his having done so, he agreed to abide by her request without so much as a verbalized qualm or quibble. Their drive home was done in an oppressive, brooding, crypt-like silence that was broken only by an occasional, gut-wrenching and more times than not, mutually shared sniffle. Their last kiss was crammed with passions calculated to last a lifetime. Their last embrace - caustic and compelling compassionate. Their tears welled up and generously flowed into one another's as their hearts became one. Without words they had plight their troth in the Crucible of God's eternal love and shared the fleeting bliss of Heaven's promise; knowing intuitively that the next instance would plunge them into the earth bound hell of a lifetime of severed companionship. Then, with an almost inaudible uttered "I love you, Bitsy." Josh prolonged his agony as he forlornly tarried on the sidewalk in front of her house with the devastation of his tear laden eyes locked longing on Bitsy's front bedroom window. That night, Josh Oats became a wraith, a zombie-like personification of his former self. He became withdrawn. Moody. Introspective. Life became a drudgery. Something to be endured, not enjoyed. Eventually Josh managed to find the wherewithal within himself to be able to put on a false pretense that would enable him to smile, to laugh and even cut up with his friends when the occasion called for him to do so. However, in his heart he knew it all nothing more than a shame. His jest for life was gone, eradicated by the omnipresent void of his longing. Bitsy's letters, though mundane and far from satisfying, helped. However, as the days became weeks and the weeks in turn stretched into months and Bitsy's letters arrived with less and less frequency, Josh, aware that he had to fill the emptiness of his heart with something least he flat out go crazy, turned, as he always did, to his music and there by, found the gentle solace and focus of spirit that his life required. Hour after hour came and went as he sat in his bedroom, plucking and strumming on the aluminum rimed longneck banjo that he had scrimped and save to purchase from the camaraderie of craftsmen who comprised the struggling Ode Banjo Company of Boulder Colorado. Before September was out, Josh found himself as a founding member of a foursome, endeavoring to preserve and present in an entertaining fashion the high lonesome sound that was rooted and nurtured in the hollers and vales of the Southern Appalachians. Adding the rippling rhythms of his banjo to the melodic sounds of mountain dulcimer, autoharp and flattop guitar, their group quickly became one of the mainstays of the locally based folk scene. Things progressed rather rapidly from there. A priest that Josh knew from his days as an altar boy chanced to hear Josh's group play one evening at a nursing home that was located within in his parish and, liking what he heard, quickly enlisted Josh's assistance in organizing a group of young parishioners as a nucleus for a folk mass. Though Josh wasn't to keen on such innovative church services himself, unaware of what he was letting himself in for, he set aside his misgivings and graciously complied with Father Dan's wishes. Three weeks later, he found himself doing double duty. Finish up with the nine o'clock mass at Father Dan's church, Josh had to quickly pack up his banjo and newly acquired small bodied Ephiphone 12-string and haul ass, so that he arrived at St. Catherines in time to participate in their eleven thirty folk services. Shortly thereafter, an Episcopal church that was located clear across town called and asked Josh if he could see his way clear to doing for them what he had done for the Catholics. The Lutherans, not to be out done, did likewise, as did a Baptist Youth Group and several nondenominational Christian Churches as well. A librarian friend of his mother's, who was responsible for coordinating children activities at a nearby neighbor branch of the public library where she was gainfully employed, inquired as to whether or not Mrs. Oats might be able to persuade her son to put together a children program of traditional and contemporary folk music to be presented on an up coming Saturday morning. Josh said that he'd be delighted to give it a go and, though he wasn't sure how his selection of crusty old and moldy over-sung standards and nonsense songs would be received by a group of precocious four, five and six year olds, was surprise as to just how well his performance went over. Two weeks later - another library. Another Saturday morning filled with the gleeful sounds of children raising their voice in song. Within the month, Josh found that his Saturday mornings were booked up solid with requests for similar library hosted presentations. Sunday evenings, usually found Josh frequenting a local up scale coffeehouse to participated in their weekly open-mikes. Sometimes he would do so with members of his group, sometimes with one or another of his folksinger friends, but more times than not, all on his own. While his first love was traditional folk music such as John Henry and Jimmy Crack Corn, he would indulge his other interest by performing singer- songwriter material the likes of Paxton, Ochs and Anderson. The open-mikes presented Josh with yet other avenue for his music. Soon, he was being asked to perform some of the topical material he was becoming known for at various activist and anti-war rallies that were, at the time, gaining in popularity. There went most of his Saturday and Sunday afternoons. The open-mike sessions also expanded Josh's number of friend's within the local folk community itself. Soon, these new found folk artist friends of his were actually calling Josh out the audience; telling him to go get his banjo and join them on stage so that he could accompany them on a couple of their songs. How Josh found time to compose his own songs with all that other stuff going on, is anybody's guess, but manage he did. Furthermore, shocking the shit out of Josh in the process, those handcrafted songs of his were extremely well received whenever he saw fit to include one in his sets. As time went on, due to the overwhelming and unrelenting requests that he do so, the number of his own songs contained in a set eventually began to out number those written by other better known singer-songwriters. And, as one might expect, the one most often requested he sing, was a poignant song of unrequited and endearing love entitled 'Bitsy's Song'. As time went on, others in the area began to perform many of his songs, causing a reporter who covered the music beat for the locally weekly published underground newspaper to proclaim Josh Oats to be the area's folksinger's folksinger. Josh though, never let any of the acclaim he got go to his head. Fact is: he was the first to admit that their were far better singers and much more talented musicians around than he was. If he admitted to having any talent at all, that talent was to pick the right songs for the right occasions. Hell! Even when a fledgling, grass-roots recording outfit approached Josh with the idea of making a record of some of the songs he had penned himself, he readily agreed on the condition that the record would be made with a whole bunch of friends and fellow folksingers taking the lead on one or another of his songs. Out of the fourteen tracks contained on the LP, while Josh did indeed function as one of the featured musicians on each and every one of them, and participated as a member of the chorus in a good many of them, he was only featured twice: once on a solo banjo instrumental and a second time, singing the song he was quickly becoming best known for, with that song being none other than the impassioned 'Bitsy's Song'. As one might expect, Josh met a lot of very nice, very attractive, and at times kooky and spaced-out young ladies who made it perfectly clear to him that they wouldn't mind going out with him. Trouble was, most of the girls he dated at the time found that they soon tired of accompanying him to his shows. The first time was neat. Generally, the girls Josh dated got a charge out of being with the man of hour. However, as neat as it was at first, dating a performer wasn't anything like they thought it would be. Fact is: dating a performer was down right boring. Out of necessity, Josh had to let his dates fend for themselves, all off by their lonesomes while he was engaged elsewhere: tuning his various instruments; arranging his sets; doing sound checks; checking in with the MC and all that other razzmatazz that a performer has to attend to in order to insure that their performance is up to snuff and that they are doing right by the audience. In other words, Josh, adopting the no guts no glory approach, roguishly dated a whole shit load of girls over that eighteen month period following immediately in the wake of Bitsy's leave-taking. Sometimes, he would even get lucky and get himself laid in the process. And then, Nineteen Sixty Seven hit and in the matter of a few months, Josh's life was hit with a triple whammy. It all started off on the Feast of the Epiphany when Kathy, a very nice young girl who he was just beginning to think he might one day fall in love with, dumped him for a folksinger friends of his. Shortly thereafter, it was the business at the community college and then, just when Josh thought that he had gotten his life back on the right track by taking the bull by the horns and enlisting in the United States Navy in hopes of qualifying for the battery of electronic schools the recruiter had enticed him with, the tragic and unforeseen death of his father rocked his life in ways he never though possible. Only a few close friends of his mother's and a smattering of family members were able to attend the first scheduled afternoon viewing of his father. Josh, telling himself that he had to be strong for his mother, managed to somehow hold up rather well, even though he was forced to recounted, over and over and over again, in gory, tedious, nerve wracking detail, how he had endeavored to resuscitate his father during the damn near interminable wait for the paramedics to arrive. That evening, shortly after returning to the funeral home from a two hour dinner break at a near by restaurant, knowing that he was leaving his mother in the caring and concerned hands of a few of her closest neighborhood friends, Josh graciously excused himself from the circle of the conversation that was taking place and, with hopes of doing so before any sort of a crowd began to arrive and so prevent him from what he had in mind, approached his father's casket and there, attempted to reconcile himself to the loss of a man who meant more to him than life itself. As a single tear, a tear that was selfishly shed for both his and his mother's loss, rather than for the gentle, even tempered man who's mortal remains lay stretched out in the casket before him, a hand, small and graceful, tenderly reached over and gently, but none the less firmly, entwined Josh's hand within it's comforting and ever so familiar grasp. With a spirit buoyed by the consoling knowledge of her nearness, Josh heard Bitsy softly and emphatically intone, "I'm so, so sorry, Josh! I came as soon as I heard..." "Thank you, Bitsy! I can't begin to tell how much it means to me that you're here! And you know that my mom will appreciate your being here as well! I mean, you know how she feels about you!" "Yes, Josh... I most certainly do!" From that point on, Bitsy never once left Josh's side. She never let his hand go, save for the few occasions where her frayed emotions got the best of her and she turned and embraced Josh for all she was worth, drawing on his strength as he had on hers! She was there for him. Willing him her strength. Supporting him with her empathy. Consoling him with her nearness. Sharing each and every nuance of his grief. Later, as Josh, playing the part of the dutifully son, helped his mother slip into her coat prior to their departing the funeral home for night, Mrs. Oats proceeded on to inform him that during the brief period of time he had been in the men's room, she had had a private conversation with that wayward 'adopted' daughter of hers and the two of them had arrived at a mutual decision. Instead of dropping Bitsy off at her parent's house on their way home the way Josh had at first presumed they would, Bitsy would be going back to their house with them. While she could have always stayed at her parents' house, Josh's mom, without going into a lengthy explanation as to why she had done so, had asked Bitsy if she could see her way clear to spending the next couple of days at their house with them. Wanting nothing more than to do just that, Bitsy had readily agreed, saying as she did so that she would be both honored and delighted to be their guest. Arriving home, the three of them, upon shedding their coats, proceeded into the kitchen and, over a fresh brewed pot of tea that Mrs. Oats quickly set about preparing for the there of them, began to commiserate with one another. Then, having discussed a whole kit and caboodle of fond memories revolving around Josh's dad, his mother turned the conversation to Bitsy, as she proceeded on to shock the shit out of her son by clearly demonstrating the fact that she had consciously neglected to inform him about something that she knew he would have deemed of the utmost importance. "So Bitsy, how about telling us what you've been up to since you left the novitiate last spring." 'Last spring!', Josh reeled as his mind registered the fact that Bitsy had given up the idea of becoming a nun, but hadn't seen fit to get in touch with him and tell him that she had made the decision to return to secular life. "Well Aunt Mary, as my mother has no doubt already told you, I came home for about week or so; got myself a job as a waitress and moved in with a couple of friends of mine who have, or I should have said, had an apartment downtown. With a tone that clearly conveyed a poorly vailed sense of indignation, Josh inquired, "You mean to tell me, you've been in town for - what! Nine months now! And you never thought to get in touch with me! "How come?" a disgruntled Josh tersely demanded an accounting. Reaching over, Bitsy, in an effort on her part to placate him somewhat, lovingly grasp his hand in hers, saying as she did so, "First off, Josh, you've got to understand that I was only in town for about a month and a half when I, along with a couple of hippy friends of mine, moved to this real neat artist commune way out in Allegany County, just down the road from the quaint little town of Lonaconing." "Okay." Josh began. "I understand the point about how you weren't in town long. However, that still doesn't explain why you didn't try and get in touch with me. You know, to at least let me know what in the world was going on!" "Well!" Mary Oats said as she pushed her chair back from the table and began to get to her feet. "I see that the two of have some things to talk over. So, since it's going to be another busy day for me tomorrow, what with me and my having to content with those two over- wrought, insincere, crocodile-tear shedding sisters of your father's, I really think I ought to do myself a favor by heading upstairs and trying to get a little sleep. "Josh! Tell you what! Since the guest room is a mess right now, why don't you let Bitsy sleep in your bed and you sleep down here on the sofa tonight. Alright?" Bitsy, keeping a firm grip on Josh's hand all the while, countered Mrs. Oats' suggestion by saying that the sofa would suit her just fine and that the very last thing she wanted to do was to put either one of them out. Mrs. Oats was having none of it and so, informed Bitsy in no uncertain terms that her son would be just fine sleeping on the sofa for a night or two and that she would be very upset if Bitsy said another blessed thing about the sleeping arrangements she had prescribed. As expected, Bitsy, aware that further arguments would prove futile, graciously acquiesced to Mrs. Oats' wishes. By unspoken accord, both Bitsy and Josh refrained from getting into it until they heard his mother's bedroom door close. "Okay, Bits!" Josh said sternly. "What gives?" "Josh!" she pleaded as reached over and took his other hand in hers. "Do we really have to do this now? "I mean, haven't you already got enough on your plate, what with your father's death and all..." "I mean, while I realize that I owe you an explanation for what I've done... and I fully intend on giving you one... do we really have get into this tonight? I mean, can't we wait until things have settled down for you a little bit? "No!" Josh's rebuttal was emphatic.. "I'm not going to let you walk out of my life again and not know the reason why!" "Believe me, Josh! I'm not going anywhere! "I know you'll never going to believe me - you big, hard headed lummox you! But, I love you! More then you'll ever know or understand!" "Hell! I don't even understand it myself, given some of these damnable predilections of mine, but the one thing I do know is that I do love you! And I never - Ever! - want to be separated from you again! "As selfish as it is for me to say this: I now realize just how much I need you in my life! "I mean, I knew as soon as I entered the room where your father was laid out and caught sight of you standing up there, all by your lonesome, forlornly gazing down at your father's casket, that I had made a terrible, terrible mistake! "You probably aren't going believe this, but I have missed you more than you will ever, ever know, Josh!" "I thought I was being kind! I thought I was doing the right thing! "I now know I was wrong! And I'm so, so sorry I did what I did! It was a mistake! A mistake that whether you want to believe this or not, I have paid dearly for! "But as wrong-headed as I was, at the time, I thought that I was doing the right thing! "Look! I know you took it hard when I left to become a nun! "But I also knew that you would eventually face the fact that you had your own life to live and that you'd best get on with it! "And you did! You poured your life into your music and that was great! "I mean, what you went on to achieve never fails to amaze and astound me! "Oh! And while I'm thinking about it, I have to tell you: I absolute adorn 'Bitsy's Song'! And I end up crying every time I hear it! You know, 'cause I actually find myself hating that selfish little bitch for doing what she did to you!" "Bits!" Josh spoke up, registering his complaint! "I never wrote that song to hurt you! I only wrote it out of my love for you!" "I know you did, Josh! And believe me, you have paid me the greatest compliment that one person could ever pay another when you wrote that simply fantastic song for me! And believe me, it's an honor I don't deserve... "But anyhow, getting back to why I though it necessary to do what I did, I've got to tell you something very personal about myself that it's a given you aren't going to like hearing! Not in the least little bit! "Josh! You like looking all those beautiful and sexy girls in Playboy, don't you?" "Yeah..." Josh replied with some hesitancy. "So?" "Well, though it took me a whole hell of a lot of soul searching on my part to finally come out admit it to myself, the sad fact of the matter is: so do I! And, though it pains me to say this: I like looking at them pretty much the same way that you do!" "Bits! Are you saying what I think you're saying?" "If you think that I'm saying that I'm a lesbian at heart, then yes! I'm saying exactly what you think I'm saying!" "But," Josh stammered, "you and I made love!". "Yes! Yes, we did! And it was absolutely wonderful! But, as wonderful as it was, I've to to tell you that it was the hardest damn thing I ever done! "I mean, you don't know how hard it was for me to work up the gumption to actually being able to do it! "Trouble is: while I am hopelessly attracted to women! You know, in a physically sense! I am just as hopelessly in love with you! "In other words, damned if I'm not stuck right between that rock and hard place that you're always hearing about! And to make matters worse - Damn it all to hell and back! - if you aren't stuck right there alongside of me! "You however, have a choice in the matter! I, unfortunately, do not!" "I do?" Josh was incredulous. "Yes, you do! You can always elect to cut your loses and get on with your life!" "Yeah, right! As if I could do something like that!" Bitsy cut Josh to the quick as she vehemently countered, "You almost did with Kathy!" Taken aback, Josh fumed, "How hell do you ever find out about Kathy?" With a knowing smile beaming upon her face, Bitsy impishly replied. "Oh, let's just say that a little birdie has been keeping me abreast as to what's going on in your life." "And just who might that little birdie be?" Josh demanded in a righteous huff. "Someone who cares about you as much as I do." Josh ponder that one for a second and then shot back, "You mean to tell me that you been in contact with my mother?" "Bingo! "I've been calling here at least once a week just to check in and see how your doing." "And you're saying that my mother told you about Kathy?" "She sure did!" "And just what in the hell did she tell you about me and Kathy?" "Basically, that the two of you got along fairly well. Which, she said was a positive sign. But, that she really didn't think it would ever work out between the two of you." "What else did she tell you?" "Practically everything. "Well I'll be! My mom! The snitch! "Does she know?" "If you mean about me and my being a lesbian, the answer is: yes! She knows everything! "In fact, she was the first person that I actually confided in! I mean, I told your mom months before I ever got up the never to tell my own mother! "I don't know if you are either aware or appreciative of this Josh, but make no never mind about it! Your mother's a saint if ever there was one!" "Believe me, Bitsy! I'm well aware of the that! When it comes to parents, I gotta say: God did right by me! I couldn't have asked for better!" With a tear welling up in his right eye, Josh, though it took all he had to do so, continued on to say, "I just wish I had told my father how much he meant to me when I had the chance!" "Don't worry, Josh! Trust me! He knows..." "I sure as hell hope you're right about that, because you can't believe how much I'm already beginning to miss him!" It was to much for Bitsy to just sit there, helplessly watching as Josh began to unburden himself of all those pent up emotions of his and so, in a spontaneous, empathic effort to give him what succor she could, she rose up out the kitchen chair she had been occupying and in so doing, drew him upwards along with her and into the compassionate and consoling embrace of the truest of heart-bound friends. Amid the wealth of tears that were freely flowing down his cheeks, Josh weekly managed to whimper, "I don't know if I can take anymore, Bits! A year and a half ago I lost you! Yesterday, I lost my father... " Grasping Josh by his upper arms, Bitsy, marshalling every ounce of her strength, angrily thrust him rearwards and, with a raw vehemence that seemed unsuited to the situation, harshly snapped, "I'll grant you that you lost your father, Josh! And there's absolutely nothing that you or I or anyone can do about that! But, let's get something straight here, buster! You haven't lost me! I'm right here! And, I'm not going anywhere! "I'll admit it! I did something stupid! I though that if I went away to became a nun you might be able to forget about me and get on with your life! "And, to some degree, you managed to do just that! "Trouble was, I now realize that I wasn't being fair to either one of us, because - God help me! - though I tried like hell to get over you, I couldn't! "You couldn't?" "No!" there was a sense of frustration clearly conveyed in that explosive and overwrought 'no' of Bitsy's. "I tried! I really, truly did! But, no matter what I did or didn't do, I couldn't get you out of my mind! I couldn't stop feeling about you the way I do! "And do you want to know why I can't?" Bitsy snapped angrily. "You, Mr. Joshua Oats, are just to damn good be true! And you truly deserve someone who can give you what you want! "Trouble is, as I've told you so many times before, there's no getting around the fact you and I are soulmates, bound to one another in some inexplicable way that I can't even begin to fathom!" "So, tell me Bits! Where does that leave the two of us?" "I don't know! I honestly don't know! And, I should add: there's no way in hell we are going to figure that one out tonight! So, give me a break! Let's not try! Alright?" "However, I do know one thing! Neither one us is ever going to be happy unless we're together! Somehow! Someway! Agreed?" "Agreed!" Josh, with the hint of a sniffle, replied. "Come on kiddo! As I recall, there's a perfectly good sofa in your living room and I think that a good snuggle right now would do the two of us a world of good!" A few minutes later, as Josh lay with his head nestled in the comfort of Bitsy's lap, she resumed the conversation by saying, "You know something? I tend to think that my dad's right! God's really does have a sense of humor! Trouble is: sometimes it's a pretty warped one! "I mean, look at the two of us! There's no getting around the fact that we're perfect for one another; save that He made you a heterosexual; were as, He made me a homosexual! "Even worse, I'll be damned if He didn't give us the same taste in women!" Bitsy remark must had hit a raw nerve, for Josh heard himself heatedly ask, "And just how in the hell can you say that?" "Because, I've seen some of the girls you've dated over the last year or so and let me tell you: as far as I'm concerned, your taste in women is impeccable! "And, Kathy! She was as cute as a button!" "Wait a second! "What do you mean when you say that you've seen some of the girls I've dated? "How could you have seen them? I mean, didn't you tell me you were living up in an artist commune all the way out in Allegany County? "Yes, I did. However, I got back here as often as I could and when I did, I'd check in with your mon to find out where you were playing. "You mean to tell me that you actually came to a couple of my shows?" "Oh, I came to a lot more than just a couple!" "If that's so, how come I never saw you?" "Because, I took every precaution to ensure you didn't see me! "You know, like I went so far as to go out and by this ratty old wig that I'd wear in order to help disguise myself. Then, I'd sneak in to your performance late; sit in the back somewhere and as soon as your last set was over, while you were busy packing up your instruments, I, along with whichever friend or friends I had coerced into accompanying me, would hightail it out of there before you ever became the wiser! Several minutes later, Josh, though he wasn't at all sure he really wanted to hear the answer, awkwardly endeavored to ask, "Bits! Look! You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but did you ever... a... a... you know, with another woman?" Knowing fully well where Josh was going with his poor stated inquiry of his, Bitsy, with a gentle kiss to his forehead as a tender prelude to her remarks, replied, "The answer to your question is: yes, on several occasions, with several different girls, I did." "Did you enjoy it?" Josh couldn't believe he had actually asked the question. "Yes! In a physically sense, I enjoyed it immensely. "However, though I did enjoy it, there was always something lacking that left me feeling sort of icky and empty afterwards. "And do you know what that something was?" Then, after a lingering moment of contemplative silence, Bitsy, with a self-targeted smirk, proceeded on to answer own her question, "That something was you!" Taken aback by Bitsy's impassioned revelation, Josh quizzically offered comment, "While I can't say that I'm not both please and flattered to hear you say that, it doesn't make a lick of sense!" "I know it doesn't! Nothing makes sense! "I just wish..." "Wish what?" Josh sympathetically urged. "That things were different! You know, so that you and I could be together the way I truly believe God intended us to be!" "That would be nice... "But, right now, I'll take what I can get and to hell with the consequences! "I love you! I love you so much it hurts! "And, lesbian or not, it's like I told you earlier: there's no way in hell I'm going to let you go now that I've found you again!" "I'm glad to here that. Because, I have no intentions of going anywhere! Not today! Not tomorrow! Not next week! Not the week after! "For better or worse, though I think the two of us might well be exchanging one form of hell on earth for another, I do believe that you're stuck with me, Mr. Joshua Everett Oats!" Bitsy declared as her arms reached down and enveloped him into the chaste embrace of tortured lover. * * * Bitsy MacNamara proved true to her words. She remained a guest at the Oats house for the next few days, ostensible to help Josh and his mother deal with their loss. Then, royally pissing off more than a few close family members in the process, Mrs. Oats' insisted that Bitsy ride in limousine with them to the cemetery services, saying in a demonstrative manner that Josh's father thought of her as the daughter he never had and so, would have wanted Bitsy to be accorded as such. On their way back to the funeral home and the car they had left parked there, Josh's mom, having caught the gist of what was going on between her son and 'adopted' daughter, proceeded on to ask Bitsy if she might be able to see her way clear to spending another week with them. Bitsy, feeling the need to be with the Oats as much as the Oats felt the need for her to be with the two of them, readily agreed. One week became two and two weeks became three. Then, as three weeks was on the verge of spilling over into a fourth, Mrs. Oats made the official announcement over dinner one evening. Using the excuse that Josh would eventually be leaving for his tour of duty in the Navy, Mrs. Oats, not wishing to live alone, had prevailed on Bitsy to move into their guest room on a permanent bases and Bitsy, on her part, had graciously accepted. Bitsy had her own announcement to make. She was going to be a Playboy Bunny. Earlier that week, as Bitsy went on to explain, she had seen an ad in the morning paper that stated that a brand new Playboy Club would soon be opening its' doors right in the heart of the downtown business area and that they would be holding open auditions for young women who wished to become Bunnies all that week. Bitsy, without confiding in Josh as to what she had in mind, went down the next day; auditioned and was duly accepted and so, announced that she would begin Bunny School the following Monday. Later that evening, while Mrs. Oats was upstairs taking a bath, Josh sought clarification as he asked, "Bits, are you sure this Bunny thing is going to be your cup of tea? I mean, are you sure you're going to like wearing that skimpy costume?" Countering, Bitsy coyly responded, "Maybe it's you, who isn't all that thrilled with the prospect of me and my being decked out in a sexy Playboy Bunny outfit! "Well..." Josh founded himself forced to admit, "You might just have a point there... "I mean, it pretty much goes without saying that I'm not all that thrilled thinking about you and your being ogled by a whole lot of dirty old men like you know, without the shadow of a doubt, that you're going to be as a Bunny..." "So, I take it that you're saying that you might be just a wee bit jealous?" "Yeah, I guess maybe I am at that." "Good! I'm glad! It shows you really care! "But, fear not! You know as well as I do that you are the one and only man I want in my life! Now, or in the future! "Besides, save for being gawked at all the time, the Playboy Club is probably the safest place I could possible work! "You see, not only to they have a non-fraternization policy that's strictly enforced, but they also have a look but don't touch policy. If some over inebriated smuck tries to lay so much as a hand on me, he'll be politely given a warning. And should he neglect to heed that warning, and try something again, he'll be hustled out the door so fast he won't know what in the hell happened!" "Okay! I understand! You won't have to worry about being manhandled if you become a Playboy Bunny! That's good! I kind of like that aspect! "But tell me something, Bits! Doesn't becoming a Playboy Bunny go against that hippy, anti-establishment credo of yours?" "Alright, already! I give! You've got me on that one! You're right! My becoming a Bunny does indeed go against that so called hippy credo of mine! "However, since I'm not about to stay here in your mother's house without contributing my fair share, I need a job! And since about the only job experience I have is as a waitress, I just figured that going the Bunny route might be a lot of fun, especially so with me and these damnable lesbian proclivities of mine! "Think about it! While all those middle age men will be ogling me, I'll be discreetly ogling all the scantily clad girls I'll be working with! You know, as in I'll be like that proverbial fox in sheep's clothing that you're always hearing about!" As twinge of paranoia got the best him, Josh, knowing that he was being utterly foolish, found himself asking a question he long cautioned himself against asking, "Bits! Am I to take it that you are still actively pursuing a lesbian relationship?" "No, Josh! I'm not! "Haven't we been all over this before?" a clearly disgruntled Bitsy snapped harshly. "Look! I don't want to have to keep constantly reassuring you! So let's get something straight! Right here! Right now! "As illogically and idiotic as it is: I love you! Fact is: I love you more today than I did yesterday and most likely, as trite and hackneyed as it surely is going to sound, slightly less than I probably will tomorrow! "True! I'm a lesbian! God knows why, but I am! "Meaning: I find myself sexually attracted to women, much the same way you are! "Trouble is: while I would like nothing more than to engage in sex with another woman, I also know that the sexual aspect of a relationship alone isn't enough to sustain me! I need something a whole lot more than just sex! "You see, it's like I keep telling you! You and I have something special! Something extremely unique! And I for one am not willing to jeopardize whatever it is we have just to indulge these damnable sexual proclivities of mine! "I just wish..." "Wish what?" Josh prompted. "I just wish that things were different!" "So do I, Bits! So do I..." "Josh!" Bitsy said taking both of his hands in hers, "What do I have to do to convince you that I'm not going anywhere? Do I have to marry you?" "You mean that you'd actually marry me?" "Yes! Of course I would! If, that is, that's what it'll take to convince you of my sincerity, then yes! I marry you! I mean, even though I tend to think that we'd both be off our rockers to do so at this juncture, if that's what it'll take to convince you that I mean exactly what I say, you'd best believe I'll marry you! In a heart beat! I'll be your wife! And, though it'll tax me to no end, I'll share your bed! Hell, Josh! I'll even bear your children, if that's what you really want!" "You would actually do that?" "Of course I would, you ninny! "I mean, as far as I'm concerned, save for the business about the two of us sharing the same bed, you and I are, for all practical purposes, married already!" "In some respects, I tend to feel pretty much the same way you do, Bits! And I'm really sorry that I'm so insecure about all of this! "It's just that I don't want to lose you!" "Josh! For the last time! You aren't going to lose me! I'm right here and there's no way in hell that I'm going anywhere! "So get that through that thick skull of yours! Okay! "Alright! I'll try..." "So, tell me! What do you want to do? I mean, do we get married now or what?" "As much as I really want us to, the answer to your question is: no! I'm not going to allow this paranoia of mine coerce you into doing something like that! You know, because it wouldn't be fair! It wouldn't be right..." "And that, in a nut shell, is exactly why I love you the way I do, Josh! Damn it all to hell and back! "So, tell you what! Why don't the two of us make a pact! Right here! Right now! "Once you get... shall we say... a year or two of this Navy business of yours under your belt and you find that you still feel the same way about me as you do now, I will not only consent to becoming your wife, to have and to hold, till death do us part and all that other razzmatazz that's involved in getting hitched, but I further promise you that I will do everything I can and then some, both in and out of the bedroom I might add, to fulfill my part of the bargain! "In other words, I promise you that I will be the best wife you could ever have! Alright?" "Are you sure about this, Bits? "I mean, the last thing I want to do is to force you into doing something that you're not comfortable with!" "I know that! I know you only want what's best for me! But believe me! I now know - For a certainty! - that being with you is what's best for me! * * * The following Monday morning, while Bitsy was off attending her first day at Bunny School, Josh's Navy recruiter called and proceeded on to inform him to be on the lookout, due to the fact that he would be receiving his discharge papers within the next week or so. Perplexed as to what was going on, Josh proceeded on to ask the chief petty officer for an explanation and was dutifully informed that when his enlistment papers were being processed, the waiver pertaining to his pneumothroxa was reexamined and promptly rejected; mandating the issuing of a Convenience of the Government classification of discharge. In other words, as the Navy recruiter so bluntly put it, the Navy saw him as damaged goods and therefore a liability and so, did not require his services. Trouble was: while the United States Navy didn't want Josh, the United Sates Army did. A month to the day after receiving his discharge papers from the Navy, damn if Josh didn't get his draft notice along with an accompanying letter that stated rather emphatically that while the U.S. Army was well aware of his prior medical condition, the very same medical condition that had excluded him from naval service, they were being more magnanimous about the whole affair and because they were, they would be more than happy to accept him into their ranks without the unnecessary need for him to undergo another pre-induction physical in order to qualify. Needless to say, Josh wasn't the least little bit thrilled with the notion of being drafted. Everyone he knew who had been, had ended up in Vietnam as so much cannon fodder. First off, Josh deemed the war in South East Asia to be a constitutionally illegal one. Secondly, he believed the war to be an immoral one as well. The way he saw it, it didn't make a rat's ass which side eventually won the war, the lives of people of Vietnam would not substantially change. They would live and die as they always had, in squalor, preyed upon by which ever form of governmental ideology that finally succeeded in gaining the political leverage to hold sway over their downtrodden existence. The people that Josh felt the greatest amount of sorrow for were the poor Vietnamese farmers, who most likely wanting nothing more than to get that brunt out shell of an APC (Armored Personnel Carrier) or the charred, twisted wreckage of a Huey gunship out of their rice paddy. Win or lose in Vietnam, Josh realized that the county he loved, the county he called home, was beginning to internally hemorrhage over its' ever escalating participation in a war that the Powers That Be in Washington were failing miserable to gain and, more to the point, retain support for conducting. An ever increasing number of body bags proved to be an extremely bad marketing device to sell the war to the American people. The national conscious, which had been raised and honed to raw an bitter edge during the long and ugly struggle to eradicate the national shame of legally sanctioned civil injustice to the darker skinned citizens of the United States, began to rail against the war. Fathers, once proud to have their sons don uniforms in serve their county as they themselves had done when called to arms in other worthier causes, began to slowly realize that as tragic as the plight of the South Vietnamese people was, the death or maiming of their sons wasn't going to change a single blessed thing over there. Kiddingly, Josh, when ever asked, offered two different solutions to bring about an end to the War in Vietnam. First, if the United States truly wanted to help the people of South Vietnam, the government could always offer them statehood. Or, if the government in Washington didn't wish to go that route, they could always put their money were their mouth was; purchase the land from the Vietnamese people; move every last single one of them to United States and them turn South Vietnam into Aberdeen Proving Grounds West. In other words, turn the former county into one large nuclear warhead testing area. To put it bluntly, Josh was vehemently opposed to the United States aggressive military participation in the embattled and bitter affairs of South Vietnam. As far as Josh was concerned, the best way for the United States to fight the spread of communism was to clearly demonstrate to the rest of the world that a capitalist society, based on the principles as set out first in the Declaration of Independence and later echoed in the Articles and Amendments of the Constitution, principles that clearly declare that each and every individual had certain unalienable Rights, that among those are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, was the finest form of government that humankind could fashion. Trouble was, as Josh was quick to point out whenever he debated the matter, in order for the United States to become that shinning example for the rest of the peoples of the world to emulate, America had best get its' own house in order first and make every conceivable effort t