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Terms of Acceptance (c) 2000, by: Donna Allyson Prologue: "This is a CNN Breaking News commentary. Washington, DC. Congress, today passed the controversial Gender Re-assignment Bill and the President is expected to sign it. Already the ACLU is planning to take this measure to the US Supreme Court on the grounds that it is an unconstitutional violation of basic human rights. Proponents however said that it will drastically reduce the number of female impersonators committing crimes and then covering their tracks by resuming their male persona. The rash of such crimes has grown exponentially in the past few years, especially rape and it has become difficult to apprehend the perpetrators. The ACLU said that it was a violation of the rights of innocent cross-dressers to have to become a true female just because law enforcement cannot catch a criminal." "Well I can't speak for the rest of you folks, but if someone wants to look and dress like a girl, let him become one." The commentator remarked. A smirk on his face. Obviously a die hard bigot. "If the bill passes and is signed by the President, A new agency will be created called the National Gender Re-Assignment Agency. It will be that office's responsibility to manage the sex re- assignment of anyone accused of cross-dressing. Such people will either have to agree to a 3 year program of psycological evaluation, hormone treatments full time real life experience and finally Sex Reassignment Surgery. Before the last step is taken however the accused must be approved for the final step by a majority of the local GRA board. The accused can opt for withdrawal or be deemed unfit for the program at which point the accused will be held for trial and if convicted, will receive a the mandatory 30 to 50 year prison term. Once a man had crossed over the gender line any attempt on their part to live or dress again as men would result in permanent incarceration in a women's prison. For life." On June 14, 2036 the last of the class action court cases was turned down by the Supreme Court. The restraining order granted to the ACLU was lifted and the law went into effect. Three years later 1135 men and boys were officially and forcibly made members of the female gender as they underwent SRS surgery. Of that number it was estimated that approximately 400 actually welcomed the government's free service. Three hundred and fifty three others went to jail. Chapter 1 It was close to 13:00 when I walked into the small federal office building in Greenwood Arizona. "Please take a seat Miss Morton. You are a little early. I will call you when the board is ready." The receptionist said pleasantly. I sat in the anteroom waiting to be called in for my final interview. I can not tell you how I feel except that I have one bad case of the "butterflies". It was all down to this. Either I convinced the board that I was worthy of acceptance or I would have to go back to where I started. And in jail to boot. Three years of treatment and conditioning would be all for naught. I don't think I could bear to return to that conditions that had plagued me for most of my twenty two years of life. For most people this position I found myself in was a punishment. And as far as the law was concerned it was supposed to be for me too. But I really looked forward to what I was about to become. I smoothed out the non existent wrinkles from my dress for the umpteenth time. If this did not get underway soon I was sure to have a nervous breakdown right here in the State Gender Assignment Office. I don't think that would be looked upon favorable. Even though the agency staff was quite understanding, nervous conditions were looked upon with suspicion in 2040. I did not need the shadow of that hanging over my head right now. I suppose while I wait I could tell you how I finally came to be in this place and why. It is a long story and filled with periods of denial and then finally awakening. I don't really know when it all started. Maybe from when I was really a very young tike although I don't have not a lot of memories of that time,. I do remember those times vaguely. Bits and pieces of mother and I at the park or being tucked into bed at night. Little things that had no continuity. And, of course the old photographs of a cute little girl and her mother. But, if any one incident had a direct impact on why and how I came to were I am now it is probably started a year after I was adopted. Most likely little Mary Harrison was the instigator but I can not be sure. Maybe it was her sister Jamie or even my own sister. I don't really care at this point. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. I remember my mother to some degree. But when an eight year old loses a parent it is a traumatic experience and the child tends to put up mental blocks to hide the hurt. I think in my case that was true. It was not until I was around twelve that my adoptive parents even told me anything about my real mother and how she had died. I could not comprehend the fact that I had been the product of a pregnancy borne out of the result of my mother being raped. And then my mother finally dying from emotional disturbances. Complications that she had suffered because of that crime and the failure of the law to apprehend the perpetrator. She had never found closure and this had finally overcome her. I don't know if finding out these facts had convinced me that being a boy and someday a man capable of doing the same thing was what moved me towards the feminine nature or not. Maybe it was the memories of being treated and dressed like a little girl by my mother when I was real young. Or maybe it was the influence and support that Nancy had on me. The Psychiatrists that I had seen over that past few years had told me that was probably the former case. Especially the way my Mom had influenced me when I was real young. But I still have my doubts. My choices were after all mine. Mom had never forced me to dress like a girl after I started school. That had been my choice and only after I had been take out of the orphanage and adopted. All Nancy had done was support my decision to be different. "After all...", She had said, a lot of boys do what you want to do anyway." I had my doubts about that though. My adoptive parents are Louise and Daniel Morton. Two of the sweetest people on this planet. Although, They are a bit old fashion. Real turn of the twentieth century types, but I would not trade them for anyone else. By the way. My name is Sarah. I had taken that name in honor of my real mother. It was the least I could do in her memory. Besides I liked the name. It was as close as you could get to my real one anyway. "Miss Morton, Miss Morton....." I opened my eyes as I was gently tapped on the shoulder. "I'm sorry. I must have dozed off." I replied to the receptionist who stood beside my seat. "That's OK. It has been a long wait. I was told to tell you that two of the board members are tied up on the Metro. Apparently some terrorist attack took out the tracks in Phoenix . As you know in all fairness to you all the members have to be in attendance for a decision to be made. If you prefer you can come back tomorrow without any penalty to yourself." The girl stated with a look of compassion. "Do I have to? Or can I just wait here for their arrival. I would like to get this over with once and for all." I replied. I'm sure a look of panic was on my face. "Absolutely dear. This is your choice and the board is duty bound to give you your review immediately upon their arrival since you were here on time for your appointment." "I'll wait." I replied. "Good girl. You will do fine." She stated with obvious compassion and a hint of support in her voice. I'll send out for some sandwiches and tea. It may be a long wait. I'll stay with you. I can't go home until the Metro resumes running anyway." "Thanks." I replied as the girl returned to her desk. I settled back into my recliner kicked off my heels and closed my eyes. I still remember the date December 23, 2029. I had been told by Mrs. Jellison that my new parents, Mr. And Mrs. Morton would be arriving that day to pick me up and take me to my new home. "Once they signed the release papers, today will become your new birthday under the law." She had told me. Today I would celebrate my 9th birthday all over again even though I had already done that in February. I had felt strange becoming almost a year younger with the stroke of a pen.. I had not known it at the time but Daniel Morton was 35 years old and his wife Louise was 30. To me they were "old" people and although I has spent time with them the past few months and found them to be nice and I liked them, I was still apprehensive about living with them permanently. I had come to find the orphanage to be a secure and safe place and I did not want to leave my friends. Especially Nancy. Nancy had become my very best friend. She was the same age as me and we found we could relate to each other better than any of the other kids. I would sorely miss her but I knew that it was only a matter of time and she would be adopted as well and we would be parted. It was the policy of the orphanage not to let the other children know that one of their own was being adopted until after the child had left. So it was not told to even the adoptee until the morning that they were to leave and even then they were kept segregated. Thus was the situation I had found myself in. I was not allowed to say goodbye to anyone even Nancy. Needless to say I was totally surprised when on that morning Nancy was brought into the waiting room with me. She and I were totally overcome with delight when we found out that the Mortons were adopting us both. From that moment on we both came to understand the caring nature and love that our new parents had for us and we did everything we could to return that same love to them. Mrs. Jellison had made a point in getting Nancy and I dressed in the finest of clothing. I'm sure that she had been paid well to assure that we looked our best. Did I tell you that that the Mortons were 'loaded'? At the time I did not know much about that sort of thing but in fact they were quite wealthy. Still after what we had worn in the orphanage, Nancy and I felt quite besides ourselves. I in a fine suit and she in the prettiest dress I had ever seen. And there we sat, waiting to meet our new parents for the first time as their children and Nancy and I about to become brother and sister. It was quite exciting to say the least. When the door to the waiting room opened and Mrs. Jellison walked in with the Mortons there we sat. Nancy and I holding hands with tears of happiness running down our faces. I will never forget how my new mom came running over to us and kneeling in front of us, she pulled us to her and hugged us and even cried with us. It was a moment I will never forget. The Morton's had arrived in their chauffeur driven air car. I don't remember much of the ride to our new home. Nancy and I and our new parents sat in the back of the air car and talked for the whole trip. It was only as the car descended onto the lawn of the mansion did I pay any attention to what was outside the windows. The view of the white colonnaded house with it's wide expanse of lawn and walkways was breathtaking. I had never seen anything so beautiful and wonderful. The mountains in the distance were covered in early winter snow. The late afternoon sun glistening off their peaks. An open expanse of forest stretched off across the valley and into the distance from behind the property. It still holding onto a touch of late fall color. Nancy and I were totally overcome by the view. I'm am sure that our new dad had noticed this on our faces because he had looked at us and then his wife. He then smiled and answered to our unspoken question... "Yes kids, this is your new home". Even to this day I still hold a special place in my heart for that beautiful place in the Susquehanna Valley. Chapter 2 We landed on the air-car pad and the liveried driver got out and opened the hatch for us to exit. The butler and a houseboy ( I didn't know what to make of them at the time) came out of the house and carried our luggage into the house. I was surprised that I even had any at the time. I later found out that our new parents had gone on an extensive shopping trip prior to picking us up. As we entered the house I was shocked. I could not believe what I was seeing. I could not imagine anyone could live like this. I was nothing short of what I considered a palace. Nancy and I looked at each other and I am sure we both had our mouths open in wonderment. If there ever was a fairy tale come true, this was it. We were taken on a tour of the house by the Mortons. I must say that each room and area we visited just made us even more overcome with wonder. Finally we were taken up a wide circular stairway to the second floor and shown our rooms. Nancy and I had adjoining rooms with a connecting door. Locked of course. Nancy's was the first we were shown. It was beautiful . The room looked out over the valley. The large bay windows with their arched top framed on each side by French doors that could open out onto the balcony over the front entrance way. The room was huge. To one side was the large white canopied bed that was covered in rose satin trimmed with pink lace. The windows and french doors covered with white lace curtains and framed with pink velvet drapes edged in white lace. The floor was covered in white plush carpeting. In one corner was a mirrored vanity and around the room was various dressers and chairs. All in the Louis XIV style. A private bath was also accessible. It was in fact a room for a princess. I was immediately a little jealous. I didn't know why at the time. It would be another year before I even started to understand. Nancy was overcome. All she could do was hug mother and start to cry. I did feel good that my sister was so happy. Next I was shown my room. To say the least I was a little dis- appointed. Not that it was not a great room. It was just a lot more plain and just a hint darker. The room had the same basic layout with the windows and French doors. The curtains were white like in Nancy's room but the drapes were more of a dark blue heavy printed cotton. They were decorated with a myriad of small colonial American flags. The bed was a huge oak bed covered with a spread that matched the drapes. The dressers matched the bed in design and the floor was covered in a blue/gray carpeting. The darker hues of the furnishings and decorations making the room much darker than Nancy's. I must say I was both pleased and disappointed at the same time. I soon however came to the conclusion that it was a lot better than anything I had ever had before and that I ought to be grateful for my good fortune. We did not have time to dwell on our good fortune however. It was already dark outside and after a short time in the parlor watching TV, Mom told us that we would be dining in a few minutes and that we needed to get ready for bed. She told us that as a rule we would need to get dressed for the evening meal as we usually would have guests but that tonight was special and that we could get into our night clothes and have dinner. Then it was straight off to bed. Nancy and I went to our rooms and changed. The maid had lain out my PJs on the bed and in no time I was changed and walked out into the hallway. Nancy came out of her room wearing a white and pink nightgown and white fluffy slippers. She had put her long hair into a ponytail. She looked so pretty. I again felt a slight pang of jealousy but just as quickly suppressed it. We sat at a large oak table. I would guess big enough for an army but there were only four chairs all at one end. A candelabra was set at our end of the table. The four candles casting a warm glow over the place settings. Mom and Dad were already seated when we came into the room. They smiled at us as we took the places that Dad motioned us to. Dad sat at the end of the table and Mom on his right. We sat opposite Mom. Nancy next to Dad and me next to Nancy. For the next hour as our meal was served, Mom and Dad talked to us about our new home. They asked us questions about our former lives and were quite willing to let us talk about what we remembered. Then to our surprise they brought out a Birthday cake with 9 pink candles on one side and 9 blue ones on the other. It was our new birthday and Mom and Dad told us that we were unique. We would be part of a rare few who would have a birthday and Christmas at the same time. It seemed like no time at all and Nancy and I were off to bed. It had been quite a day. I don't remember hearing Nancy come in to my room but in the morning Mom found us cuddled together under the covers of my bed. Seems as though Nancy felt the need for some protection during the night. She simply told Mom that she had become scare and needed company. Mom never said a word. Just nodded her head and shooed Nancy back to her room to get dressed The next week was filled with new sights and sounds that I had never experienced before, This place was nothing like the drab old mill city of Lowell, Massachusetts where I had been born and had spent the last nine years of my life. I am sure that my new sister has overcome like I was. She just had a better way of containing her excitement. Where I would investigate anything that piqued my interest, especially the stable with it's 6 beautiful appaloosa horses, she would just stand close by and say nothing. Her interest in what I might be doing however gave her away. I was the boy and it was normal for me to get my hands dirty while she, just like a girl would not consider such a thing. Nancy was so much more refined. Even considering her background which was much like my own, she seemed born for the life of a refined southern girl. Our first year flew by. Nancy and I were enrolled in nearby Avon School. Avon was a private school that catered to the area's well- to-do. I can't say it was a bad place. It was I suppose, similar to other private schools in that we were taught the basic skills that kids learn everywhere. The exception was that it was a strict school when it came to discipline. A student was instructed in the rules and you were expected to follow them. It was not uncommon to find a student sweeping the walkways or cleaning the windows as a punishment for some infraction. More than once I would hear "Saul, I want to see you after class!" That was a sure bet that I had screwed up and was going to have to pay the consequences for some minor infraction. Nancy and I grew ever closer during that year. Although she was technically the same age as myself, she seemed to be the one who seemed to become the most self assured. She was not head-strong or anything like that. She just seemed to make the better judgments when we were deciding on some issue. She was the brains and I was the brawn sort of speak. We only had one family close by with kids our own age. The Harrisons. They lived about a quarter mile down the road from us. They had two children. Both girls. Jamie and Mary. Jamie was my age and her sister was a year younger. Needless to say they made friends with Nancy quite easily but for some reason they shied away from me. Not that they were unfriendly or anything like that. They just did not seem to want to associate with me unless Nancy was with me. There was times when the three girls would engage in some game where they needed the male figure like playing house or doctor. I would be asked to play the male role. Other times they would play with their barbie dolls or play dress up. At those times I was pretty much ignored or asked to "get lost". During those times I would grab a book or watch TV, feigning disinterest. In actuality I would watch them as closely as I could without them suspecting. At those times I would find myself getting jealous. I liked those games and really wanted to participate. I never said anything at those times of course. Boys were not suppose to play with dolls or play dress-up. Still I wanted to and I started to wonder if I had something wrong with me. I kept my peace however. It was not until our second Christmas holiday that I was brave enough to find out what it was like to dress like a girl again as I had once done a long time ago with my real mother. Of course, you guessed it. I got caught. At the time I was glad it was Nancy who had discovered me and not Dad or Mom. It was only later that I came to realize just how understanding my parents were. But Nancy, she took to the idea like a bird takes to air. I think it would have ended there if Nancy, in her enthusiasm had not continued to press the idea. And of course Jamie and Mary became Nancy's co-conspirators when they found out. Mary however took a special interest in me after that. Anyway, let me back up a little. Christmas that year was on a Saturday. Mom had insisted that we help her get the house ready for the holidays. Christmas was a big event at our house. Lots of family and friends would visit and mom was a stickler for having every thing clean and tidy before hand. Nancy and I had been instructed to clean our rooms and put all our clothes that were dirty in the laundry room and and everything else that needed to go to the cleaners we were to put on the rack in the upstairs foyer. Nancy was a neat freak and it had not taken her long to complete the tasks. I on the other hand was somewhat of a clutter bug and it took me a lot longer. Nancy when she finished stuck her head into my room while I was still rummaging through my closet. "See ya slow poke. I am going over to the Harrison's. Come on over when and if you ever finish." She had said jokingly. "Ok. I'll be awhile yet". I replied, but Nancy had already headed for the stairs. It was some time later before I decided that my room would pass inspection. I carried my dirty laundry down to the laundry room and after returning for the suit that I needed to have cleaned for Christmas I carried it down the hall to the foyer. I hung it up on the rack and noticed that Nancy must have put half her dresses on the rack along with her red velvet coat with the white fur trim on the rack. I was about to turn and head downstairs myself when I noticed one of Nancy's dresses that I had never seen her wear. It was a pretty white dress with pink lace accents on the collar and sleeves. At the waist was a large satin ribbon that tied in back with a large bow. The hem was edged with lace eyelet interwoven with pink ribbon. My curiosity got the better of me. I wondered what it was like to wear such a pretty garment. I listened for an sign of movement from downstairs. Hearing nothing except my own heartbeat pounding in my ears, I lifted the dress and the velvet coat off the rack. My hands trembled and my legs felt weak. I had never felt as strange or excited as I did at that moment. I knew what I had to do and hurriedly carried the dress and coat to my own room. I closed the door but forgot to lock it. That one omission in retrospect, changed my life forever. The only thought in my mind at that moment was to experience what it was like to play dress up, even if I had to do it alone. I laid the dress and coat on bed and I must have spent quite some time just looking at the clothing as I just totally lost track of time. Finally I got up the courage to remove my shirt and pants and slipped the dress over my head. I had fastened all the buttons on back of the dress except for the top three so that I had enough room to pull the dress on over my head. I was in ecstasy as the dress settled down over my body. It was so lovely. I reached behind my head and pulled my long hair over my shoulder so that I could fasten the three remaining buttons. As I did so I observed my own reflection in the mirror across the room. It was then that I got a real shock. I looked not at all like a boy. All I saw was a pretty girl. Two as a matter of fact. Nancy had opened my bedroom door and stood in the doorway. She was smiling broadly. I spun around and looked at her. Embarrassment was etched all over my face I suppose but Nancy said nothing of ridicule, instead she just stepped further into the room and closed the door. "I really think a little help from me might be in order here Sis" She said. The word "Sis" was not lost on me as I am sure I turned a few shades darker red that I was already. "You want to tell me about this Saul?" She asked, pointing to her dress that I was wearing. She asked the question with gentleness. There was no hint of ridicule in her voice. We sat for some time on the edge of my bed and I poured out my heart to Nancy. It was strange. I told her how I felt. It was as if the dam had burst and I came face to face with my own inner self. I could feel the tears running down my face and I did not care. Nancy said nothing. She just smiled and nodded her head, brushing an occasional tear from my cheeks. Finally I got it all out. I turned sideways and buried my face in the covers of my bed and wept. I had finally shared my innermost feelings with another human being and between the embarrassment and humiliation I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. When I finally stopped crying and sat up. I looked at Nancy and said, "I'm sorry. I should not have told you any of this. It is not your problem." "Don't be silly Saul. You're my brother and I love you. Who else could you tell except Mom and Dad? Do they know how you feel?" "No! No! I don't think they would understand Nancy. I could never let them know about this." "Don't be to sure Saul. They might fool you." Anyway we will keep your secret." "We? Who is we?" I asked. I could feel the bile rising in my throat. "Jamie and Mary came up the stairs with me and when they saw you in that dress they ran back down the stairs giggling . We are going to have to let them in on your feelings or else they will have it all over town." They are good friends Saul. I know they will understand and keep your secret as well." I just nodded my head. I was stuck and had to trust Nancy's judgment. "Good, now get changed back into your own clothes and come on over to the Harrison's. We all need to talk. Nancy said firmly. "And Saul, the next time you want to dress up, please let me know. I really like my dresses and you need to learn how to put them on before you ruin them." She said jokingly. "Oh, and pick a new name for when you dress up. Saul just doesn't cut it for someone in a dress. She said as an aside giving me a kiss on the cheek and scampering out of the room before I could reply. The times that followed were wonderful. Jamie and Mary after being told how I felt and why, became my two best friends next to Nancy. I was allowed to play in all their games and even was asked to come over to their house anytime I wanted. The only rule was that I was not allowed to play dress up unless we did it in Nancy's room. I think it really was because the girls were afraid I would get caught by Mr. or Mrs. Harrison. The girls were a great teachers and I soon learned how to dress properly as a girl. It was amazing. I think Jamie and Mary had more fun fussing over me than Nancy did. Jamie had fun with the makeup and Mary was in heaven fussing over my long hair. It was Nancy that selected the clothes that I would wear. It was almost 10 years before I got caught again. In time our little escapades as children tapered off. The Harrisons moved away. The girls had promised and kept their word. They never told another soul about me. I slowly entered puberty and developed into an "normal" teenage boy. Nancy developed into a beautiful young woman. We both graduated from high school at seventeen. Nancy decided she wanted to study law and become a lawyer. She applied and was accepted at Harvard Law School. I took a couple of years off after high school and finally, at Dad's insistence, entered the University of Arizona School of Business. Jamie and Mary both went off to college after graduation. But kept in touch with us by mail over the next year. It was Mary however who would write special letters to me personally and I would occasionally get a teasing from Nancy about it. Good naturedly of course. It was because of Mary that I had decided to select the University of Arizona at Phoenix . Mary had enrolled there herself the year before. Of course I did not tell Dad this. But Nancy found out somehow and sent me a post card with one sentence. "When is the wedding?" followed by her classical signature "N" and a little happy face logo. Chapter 3 "Sarah, would you care for a sandwich and tea?" The receptionist asked. I snapped out of my daydreams as I realized that I was being spoken to. I looked at the clock on the wall. I had been waiting for over an hour and a half. I looked at the girl standing beside the side table. "Oh yes. Thank you. I am a little hungry." I replied. "I think we have a few more minutes before your interview. The last of the board members just arrived and they have to do a short review before you go in. Are you OK with this?" She asked. Some concern evident in her voice. "Yes I am Miss?.....I let the question go unfinished when I realized that I did not now the girl's name. "Pamela. Pamela Britton". She replied to my obvious question. "Nice to meet you Pamela. Thank you for the sandwiches." I replied taking the proffered plate and teacup. "Your welcome dear." She replied as she took her own plate and cup and sat down in the chair next to mine. She looked at me over the rim of her cup as she took a small sip of her tea. I could sense an unspoken question on her face. "Your wondering how I am going to take this forced re-assignment I gather"? I asked matter of factly. "Well yes. I am sorry Ms. Morton. For a man you look so.. well... "Feminine?. I replied, answering her question. "Well yes. I guess so. You seemed so refined and comfortable. Not at all like most of the men who come in here." "It is because this is what I want to do. Courtesy of the Federal government of course." I replied with smile. "Really? I'm happy for you then. I hope everything works out for you Sarah. I really do." "Thank you Pamela. I hope so too. I just have to convince the them ( pointing to the door of the hearing room) that I am ready for this and have met their expectations." "Sarah, from what I see right now, you have an excellent chance of that. Just be yourself. Don't try to fool them or lie to them. They will know if you do. Pamela replied. Just then a tone sounded on Pamela's desk and she went over to answer the phone. "Yes Ma'am. I'll send him right in." Pamela hung up the phone. "You can go in now Sarah. Good luck." "Thanks Pamela." I replied as I stood up and walked through the door to the hearing room. The relatively large room was austere to say the least. At the far end was three floor to ceiling arched windows. On each side in their appropriate places was the flags of the United States, it's 56 stars lit up by a small light, and the State of Arizona. A long table with four chairs had been set to one side that allowed the light from the curtain-less windows to fall down and across the table. A small table was set up with one chair about ten feet in front of the long one. To one side was another table at which sat the hearing stenographer. On the other side of the room behind a long railing was a set of chairs aligned in rows. This was used for a gallery of interested parties and witnesses. On this day about 15 spectators sat in the chairs. Sarah noticed that there were three people in the gallery that she knew. One, his government appointed psychologist and the others were Nancy and Mary. They sat next to each other. Both gave her a smile and a little wave. On the wall behind the gallery was the large seal of the National Gender Reassignment Agency. Sarah walked confidently down the center of the room towards the small table. The sound of her heels on the hardwood floor belied the nervousness that she felt. She had been here before. Three years earlier when as Saul he had been told his punishment for violating the new prohibition on transvestitism . Now as Sarah he was to learn his final fate. It had been a long three years and he was not sure if he had passed the requirements for freedom or not. Sarah took her seat and waited. The government agencies had not changed much over the years. Wait, wait, wait. Ten minutes later the side door opened and the board members, two men and two women, came into the room. All in attendance stood until the board was seated. There was a shuffle of papers and then the older of the male board members opened the proceedings. "Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. This session of the National Gender Reassignment Board for the Southwestern District is now in session. I am Kenneth Greyson, Associate justice of the US District Court. I will be chairing today's adjudication of this case for the National Gender Re-assignment Board. Today's order of business is to make a final resolution to the case of The United States verses one Saul A. Morton. Exactly three years ago today Mr. Morton was before this board accused of violating the cross dressing prohibitions of the Gender Re-Assignment Act that became effective on June 14, 2036. Mr. Morton at that time had been found in his room at the University of Arizona by GRB agents dressed in the clothing of the opposite gender. Because of that incident he was brought before this board and a hearing was held. The results of the hearing did in fact corroborate the accusations and Mr. Morton was given the option of standing trial or voluntarily agreeing to joining the three year Gender Re- assignment program. Mr. Morton agreed to enter the program and we are here today to determine if Mr. Morton should be allowed to enter a government facility to complete the final gender re- assignment surgery or be remanded for trial. "Since Mr. Morton has completed the 3 year evaluation and has complied with requirements for mandatory hormone treatments, and preliminary castration and according to his psychologist Dr. Kent Roberts, who is present here today, successfully spent the last three years living full time as a female and has selected and applied for a permanent name change to Sarah Ann Morton. We will proceed on the assumption that the petition of the accused for waiver of trial and completion of GRS should be granted. We will therefor refer to Mr. Morton as Sarah Ann Morton for the purposes of this hearing." "Miss Morton let me compliment you on complying so far with every aspect of the law. I hope you understand that if the petition is granted you will forever be regarded as a member of the female gender. Even your birth and adoption records will be changed to reflect your new status. There will be no record that a Saul A. Morton ever existed. Even the orphanage where you resided as a child will only show that a girl by the name of Sarah Ann Jameson resided there and was adopted by a couple by the name Morton. Any attempt on you part to circumvent these conditions will land you in The Federal Prison for Sexual Deviates. Do you understand this?" "Yes Sir." was my only reply. What else could I say. Besides I was quite happy with these conditions. "Good. Then lets review your case. We have here the reports from Dr. Roberts as well as from the government clinic where you have received you treatments and counseling. I am quite satisfied with the reports but I will defer any questioning to my colleagues." After a very short pause, one of the female members of the board addressed Sarah. "Ms. Morton. I am Dr. Alice Grimes. I am chairperson of the US Department of Genetics. I have read your statement as to your early childhood but I am most interested in what happened after you got to the university. I understand you had not crossdressed for nearly ten years. What caused you to go back to that. Especially in light of the enactment of prohibition against such activity which you yourself admitted that you were well aware of ?" Sarah looked at the woman who asked the question. To Sarah she seemed quite young for a person with such an impressive title and awesome powers. No more than thirty years old Sarah thought. "Doctor, it is quite a long story. I am not sure that I can get through it all today." "Ms. Morton, you will spend a lot longer period of time behind bars if you lose this petition. We on the Board are willing and duty bound to hear you out. You go ahead. We will listen if it takes all night. After all you did wait for us this afternoon and that is a positive sign in and of itself." "Thank you Doctor Grimes. I will do my best to cover everything. Where would you like me to start." "From the beginning dear. From the beginning." She replied Chapter 4 So I told them my story of the early years. Again. "I arrived on the university campus in mid August. Classes didn't start until the second week of September and that gave me ample time to settle into my flat and start looking for a job. . It wasn't really necessary but Dad had insisted that I get a job. I suppose his logic was that if I had a job and had to pay for some of my own expenses it would teach me some sense of responsibility By the end of the first week I had managed to lock down a part time position with a local warehouse operating a fork truck. Not my ideal job but it was a least a decent paying one for part time and I was pretty much on my own as long as I got the few trucks loaded before I went home." "My friend Mary Harrison was not due to arrive on campus for two weeks so I had nothing better to do than throw myself into my work. I guess this impressed my boss because by the time school started Mr. Forrester, my supervisor had given me a small raise and adjusted my schedule so that I could work almost full time around my school schedule and still give me Saturday and Sunday nights off. This suited me just fine." "Mary arrived on the Sunday before classes started. I picked her up at the bus depot and drove her over to her dorm hall. The girls dorms were usually off limits to the boys but the rule was suspended during moving days. After helping her get unpacked and everything put away, I took her on a tour of the campus. At least that portion that I knew. The book store, student union building, cafeteria etc. The rest of the afternoon we just walked and chatted about everything that had happened since she and her sister had moved away." "I found out that she was still living at home with her parents. They were living in the suburban town of Greenwood Arizona, just an hour commute outside Phoenix. Her parents had agreed to let her live on campus provided that it was at U of A. This was so that they could 'keep an eye on her' so they said. It was great to have Mary close by. I must admit that I had become quite fond of her. I still am. Very much so." Sarah looked in the direction of the gallery where Nancy were seated. Mary returned a smile and a short wave at Sarah's statement. Except for a few hours on Saturday or Sunday nights I did not see much of Mary the first couple of months or so. Between my schedule with work and school and her curfew at the dorms, That was about all we could manage. It was a couple of days before Halloween that we finally got together for a long weekend. Halloween was on a Saturday that year and the school let out most of the classes until Monday in order to allow everyone to plan for the myriad of parties that usually took place on and off campus. Mary came up with the great idea that she stay at my flat for the weekend and we could plan out where we wanted to go for Halloween and as what. I took to the idea without hesitation. Of course I had other ideas besides parties. I got out of work by 8 PM that Friday and went straight to my flat. Mary and I both loved pizza and I really did not want to cook so I called Domino's and ordered a couple to be delivered. Mary arrived about a half hour later. "Hi Lover Boy." She said as I helped her with her burden. She was loaded down with packages . As always, even when she was dressed casually she looked lovely. "I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of picking up some costumes for us for tomorrow. I thought we might make an appearance at the Student Union party tomorrow." "Ok Hon. That sounds fine with me." I replied as I helped her put the packages on the sofa. "What did you get for costumes?" I asked looking at the large boxes. "No peeking." She said with a smile. "You'll see tomorrow. But I hope you will like them. You won't believe this but there is not a costume to be rented anywhere in town. I had to actually buy these from a theatrical supplier in order to get anything decent. Put it was worth it. Now give me a kiss." She said reaching up and locking her hands around my neck. I don't know how long we embraced but it was only the knock on the door from the Pizza delivery guy that had finally brought us back to reality. The rest of the night went by rapidly. We did all those things that lovers do and it was late Saturday morning when we finally woke up. I was content to skip the Halloween party altogether and stay in the sack with my girl for the entire day. Were it not for Mary's insistence that we get up, have some breakfast and try on the costumes, I would probably done just that. ****** Mary laid them out on the bed and made sure they were complete. They were the typical Alice in Wonderland costumes of fairy tale fame. The costumes were professional made and designed for the theater so they were much better than what normally would be offered for Halloween use alone. I picked up the top hat of my "Mad Hatter" costume in preparation to trying it on for size. I felt a slight tap on the shoulder as Mary came up behind me. " Not so fast mister. That is mine. This one is yours." She was holding out the "Alice" dress to me. With a huge smile on her face. I felt my heart skip a few beats as I realized what Mary had in mind. She was to be Mad Hatter and I was to be Alice. I know it was only Halloween but I had not dressed as a girl in so long that I was surprised at my own feelings at the thought of doing it again even if it was nominally accepted practice for men to dress as females at Halloween. It was even legal under the new federal laws against cross dressing. I had been very depressed when the law went into effect and I knew that I would have to give up my affinity for dresses and such from then on. I was not going to go to jail just to do that and I certainly was not contemplating a total sex change. It had never occurred to me that I could get around the law once a year by using the Halloween costume loop hole or becoming an actor in some theater company . I felt excited at the thought of being able to dress again after so long even if I had to do it in this fairy tale dress. Mary smiled at me. She was very astute and knew me better than anyone except probably for Nancy. Mary knew what was going through my mind but said nothing. She just waited for my response. I think my facial expression was all she needed because the next moment she burst into a huge smile and came over and gave me a hug. She just whispered in my ear. "Ok 'girlfriend' lets get dressed." Mary had not forgotten anything. My costume was beautiful. The Alice dress was yellow with a white apron in front. The white petticoats and white tights were a perfect compliment to to each other. Mary did my makeup that night, as I had lost the touch. But is was when Mary brought out the long brown wig and black patent leather Mary-Jane's and I put them on that I really felt like I was playing the little girl again. I looked in the mirror that evening and saw not Alice in Wonderland but just a pretty girl. The rest of that night went by like a blur. I was in heaven. I had not enjoyed myself that much since I was a kid and still at home. It was then that I decided that law or no law, I was going to do what made me happy and damned the consequences. I would just have to be smart and not get caught. Of course it did not work out that way. Chapter 5 "Mom and Dad had sent me an email letting me know that they had invited the Harrison's to spend the Christmas holiday with us and that they had accepted. He asked if I would bring Mary along with me on the trip home. I was quite excited about this news as was Mary. For the first time in over two years we would all be together again." ***** "Saul did you get everything into the aircar. It is almost time to leave." Mary called out from the bedroom." "Yes I did. All except for your last suitcase." I replied. "How about the presents for our parents and for Nancy." "God Mary. I think I'll marry you. Your sounding an awful lot like a wife than a girlfriend." I called back jokingly. Mary stuck her head out from around the bedroom door. She wore her best inquisitive look. "Really?" She asked. "Really what?" I replied. "You want to marry me?" Well it was out. It was not really the way I wanted to pop the question but now I had to answer. I had to respond in a way that would not hurt Mary's feelings. I just stood and looked at her for what seemed like and eternity but really was only a few seconds. In the end I was at a loss for words. All I said was "Yes". "Now understand, I'm not a very big guy. 5' 6 and a hundred twenty five pounds soaking wet. I think that's why Mary and I were drawn to each other. She's only 5 foot one and 100 pounds. But I will tell you this, When I said that simple "Yes" to her question, she came and threw herself on me so fast that that 100 pounds seemed like a bulldozer hit me. It was nearly an hour later that we finally pulled ourselves together enough to secure the apartment and start our drive back home for the Christmas holiday." We now had another surprise for our parents. It was to be an interesting two weeks. Five hours later the auto-pilot on our rented aircar gently set us down on one of the landing pads behind my father's house. We were that last to arrive. Mom and Dad and Mrs. Harrison were waiting for us on the back verandah as we walked up the walkway from the landing pad. Mary could not contain herself and ran up ahead of me and embraced her mother. As I came closer Nancy and Jaime came out the back door and before I knew it the hugs and kisses from the women were all over me and each other. I shook hands with Dad and then even he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a fatherly hug. I was surprised at that. He had never dome that before. Nancy looked over at me and gave me a wink and then burst into a smile. I had the strange feeling that she was up to something. I felt all a once that I was really home. It was later that evening as I sat on the verandah that Nancy came out gave me a sisterly kiss on the cheek and sat on the swing next to me. It was the first time that she and I were alone together for over two and a half years. We sat there for a couple of minutes enjoying the mild December evening not saying a word. It was Nancy who finally broke the quiet moment. "I understand that congratulations are in order." She said matter of factly just barely above a whisper. She looked straight out across the dark lawn. "Mary told you?" I asked, more a statement than a question. "Yes, a little while ago. She said not to say anything as you guys want to surprise our folks on Christmas eve. I saw you out here alone and just had to ask you if it was true." "Yes it is Nan. We decided to wait until after Mary graduates in two years. We both agreed that it would be too much to try and set up a home with both of us still in school." Nancy turned and faced me. She reached out and but her slender arms around me neck and I could see the tears in her eyes. She pulled me close and kissed me on the cheeks again. "Saul. I am so happy for you both I could just burst." "Thanks Nancy. I hoped that you would understand. I love you too but I hope you understand that it as a sister and not anything more." I replied. "Of course silly. It has always been that way with me too." She looked at me strangely for a moment. I knew she was contemplating something else. "What about Sarah? How does she fit in to this? Does she even exist any more?" Nancy asked as she pulled away from me and looked at me quizzically. "Yes Nancy. For a brief few hours on Halloween she came back to life." "Does Mary know" "Yes. It was Mary who brought her back. She thought it was just Alice in Wonderland for a costume party but I knew that it was Sarah and she 'was' in wonderland for a few hours." "Is she coming back Saul? I miss her. Nancy asked seriously. "I don't know Nancy. You know the new laws. If I ever got caught it would be, well..." I let that answer go unfinished. Nancy was about to reply when Mom called us to dinner. Nancy and I stared into each others face for a moment trying to understand where each of us was leading with the conversation but saying nothing else. We went inside and went to dinner. That night when I entered my old room to go to bed, I found a pretty pink and white rayon baby doll nightie draped across my bedspread. I suspected where it had come. Nancy I was sure was the 'culprit'. I would have another talk with her in the morning. I laid the nightie on my dresser and put on my PJs and climbed into bed. I laid there for some time wishing that Mary was with me but my folks had set one of the spare rooms for Mary and Jaime and Mrs. Harrison was ensconced in the Guest room. That night I dreamed of Sarah and Mary in bed together wearing the same nighties and making mad passionate love. Chapter 6 It was the smell of bacon and coffee attacking my nostrils had awakened me. It was close to 9am when I finally walked into the breakfast room still dressed in my PJs and bathrobe. Dad, Mrs. Harrison, Jamie and Mary were seated at the table having coffee and Mom and Nancy were in the kitchen putting what I gathered was the finishing touches to breakfast. Everyone was dressed except for me. I felt a little self conscious. Mom was the first to acknowledge my presence as I came through the doorway. "Good morning dear. I hope you slept well. Would you like some coffee?" She asked in her always pleasant tone. I walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Mom, I can use that I replied, taking the pro-offered cup from her hand. "Hi Sis. Happy Birthday." I had not forgotten that today was December 23 and it was our official birthday. "Same to you Saul." She said giving me a hug. "Thank you for remembering." "How could I forget. Jaime threatened me with dire consequences once if I ever did. Remember?" "Oh ya. That!" She said with mock surprise. I'm surprised you remember that." "Oh I remember all right. Jaime and Mary were quite upset when I fell asleep and didn't come over to their house for that surprise thirteenth birthday party that they had planned." I didn't live that down for months." Nancy smiled and gave me a mock punch in the shoulder as we both remembered how I had had to don one of Jaimie's party dresses each day for a week and serve the girls as a make believe maid or else I would not be allowed to play with them anymore. I never did forget her birthday again. I will admit that I enjoyed the dress up part but hated having to be the 'maid'. "Good morning Saul. Happy Birthday." "Hi Dad. Thanks. Good morning ladies." I said as I took the empty chair at the table next to Mary. "Happy Birthday" the women said in unison. Dad looked over his glasses and smiled at us as Mary gave me a peck on the cheek as she said her greeting. "Hum." Was all he said. I knew my dad and I was aware that he had something on his mind. I did not push it though. I knew that he would say what was on his mind when he was ready. I was nice to have everyone together again over morning breakfast. I had missed the family reverie that always accompanied the morning meal. Each of us would open up at that time in the relaxed and informal setting. We would always talk openly and candidly about anything that was on our mind. That morning was no different. It was just that I was totally unprepared for the topic, Me, and the fact that it was my mother who started it all with her birthday present. After we had eaten and Mom had served coffee, She along with Jamie and Mary left the table only to return a few minutes later with an arm load of presents and beautifully light birthday cake. Everyone immediately fell into singing the traditional Happy Birthday Song to Nancy and myself. A few photo snapshots later and lots of birthday wrappings laying on the floor, Nancy and I were two happy people. Then the unexpected happened. Mom left the room only to return a few moments later with one more present. It was for me and as I took it from her everyone fell silent. No smiles. Just a look of expectation on everyone's face as I took the box. The box was nothing fancy, just a large flat gray box that most garments are packed in. Mom must have gotten me a new coat or something I thought. But why the suspense. I slowly opened the box and got the biggest surprise of my life. Something totally unexpected. As I lifted the cover inside laying on top of the tissue was a simple card. "Happy Birthday Sarah" From Mom, Dad and the Harrison's. My hands trembled as I realized that my secret was out. I had no idea that Mom and Dad or for that fact Mrs. Harrison had any knowledge of my other quasi-identity. Mary and Nancy later told me that I turn almost pure white and then crimson when I read the card. As I looked under the tissue at the contents of the box I saw the most beautiful satin burgundy dress that I had ever laid eyes on. The cream colored lace on the bodice and edging the puffy half sleeves lay perfectly inside the box . My hands trembled so bad that I could not even move them enough to lift the garment out of the box. It was Nancy who quickly did it for me. She lifted the dress out of the box and held it up to herself. With a oohs and aahs the girls, as girls always do over beautiful clothes, admired the dress. It even had a an attached 'peek-a-boo' petticoat trimmed with lace in the same color as the bodice. I have to admit that even I in my humiliation of the moment, still found a strange fascination for the dress. I knew that no matter what happened in the next few minutes, I would have to try on that dress at some point. "How...how did you know? How did you find out?" I stammered after I regained my composure. I looked from face to face for an answer but it was Mom and Mrs. Harrison who both burst out in smiles. Dad remained stoic and the girls just looked at me with a blank look of anticipation as to what I might do next. I am sure in retrospect that they held there breath for over a minute after I took the present in my hands. "Saul, Saul. Do you think that you could hide your desires and secrets from us. Do you not think that Mrs. Harrison would not know what you and the girls were doing those may times up in their rooms. We knew from almost the beginning what was going on. It is just that we felt that you, all of you had to find your own identity. We watch and did not interfere as long as it was nothing more than dressing up. In time you seemed to grow out of that and by the time the Harrisons moved away you seemed to forget all about Sarah. Seems as though I was somewhat wrong . Especially after Mary told me about Halloween. Mother looked at me with an smile. No hint of condemnation or her face or the others except for Mary who turned a few shades of red. "So what am I supposed to do with that?" I asked, looking at the dress that Nancy was still holding knowing full well what was on the minds of each of them. Dad, who had been quite during the whole conversation finally spoke up. "I would think the ladies would like you to model it for them. I know I would like to see what my son looks like in a dress." His tone was not exactly harsh but it did have an edge to it. Considering he knew of my earlier escapades and my long period of withdrawal from that activity, I think he was a little disappointed that I had gone back to it. "Oh hush up Daddy. Let Saul make up his own mind. After all, Mom said that you knew all about this. Nancy said. Dad threw up his hands and headed towards the Family room. "Women. Now I may have one more to deal with." Was all he said as he left the dining area. "Although I put on an air of protest, I really was intrigued by the idea of dressing up again, this time as a real young lady and not as a child or for a costume party. I was somewhat aware that what I was contemplating was technically a violation of the new laws but I figured that in the privacy of my own home I was safe from detection. So it was not more than an hour later I found myself staring in the bedroom mirror looking at not myself, but a beautiful young woman, the results of the efforts and attentions of three women who were bent on using all their skills to transform me. Mary had even secretly brought the long human hair wig with her that I had used for the Alice costume at Halloween. It had been the finishing touch to my transformation. Mom, Dad and Mrs. Harrison were needless to say quite surprised at the 'new' girl that was introduced to them a short while later" Chapter 7 "Miss Morton. Tell me, if you had known then that you were shortly to be discovered and arrested, would you have still taken the opportunity to dress as you did?" Sarah looked up at Dr. Grimes as she asked the question. She paused for a few moments to formulate her reply. She had not been asked this question at any time by any of the multitude of examiners that she had been forced to consult with during the past three years. Dr. Grimes and the other members of the board all looked at her waiting on her response. For some unknown reason her inner feeling told her that this was a very important question. Sarah finally decided to answer honestly and simply. "Yes Doctor Grimes. I think I would have." "Even knowing what would happen to you if you did?" "Yes Doctor, I think that is quite obvious considering how I look now." "I think so too. Your reports from Dr. Robert indicate that your transformation has been quite smooth and incident free. It is almost as if you wanted to be a girl." Sarah just smiled but said nothing. Dr. Grimes and the other female member of the board studied Sarah for a moment and they both simultaneously burst into a huge smile. It was as if the two women could read Sarah's thoughts. The two men however just sat stoically the unspoken communications going right over their heads. Sarah knew that she had two votes in her favor. She knew that she was halfway home. "Continue Miss Morton. Tell us about why you allowed yourself to be caught." Stated the younger of the two men on the board. "Well it was not that I wanted to get caught. I really didn't go out of my way to allow that to happen.. I knew what would happen if I did get discovered and although I didn't agree with the law I was not going to allow it to stop my desire to cross-dress. It was just that I got over confident in my ability to fool everyone and I got careless." Sarah paused to formulate her thoughts. She knew that whatever testimony she gave from this point on would weigh heavily on the board's final decision. She had to tell the truth but she knew that it was up to her now to present it in a way that would be favorable for her. Mary and I had decided not to tell our folks about our intent to get married. Considering the presence of "Sarah" in the house, we felt it prudent not to put that pressure on them at the same time. After all, there was plenty of time as we were not going to do that until Mary graduated. Nancy agreed with our decision and promised to keep our secret although I think she was a little disappointed that we had decided to wait until summer recess to make the announcement. For the rest of the week after Christmas I had made a point to dress full time as a girl while in the house. Mom and the girls seemed to enjoy my little sojourn into the world of femininity. I don't think Daddy was too happy with the idea but at least he held his peace and said nothing. It was only on New Year's day that I reverted back to my male self for the two day drive back to school. I almost made a decision to drive back to Phoenix as Sarah but Mary talked me out of it. She said that there was just too much of a risk of getting caught. After Mary and I had loaded up the car, we said our goodbyes to everyone and headed back to school. During the drive back, Mary had suggested that we make one stop. I at first objected but her arguments were valid. If I ever got caught I would be prevented from doing what she suggested. So, we stopped in Dallas for two days in order that I could deposit a couple of samples at the Texas Family Planning Center. Mary had insisted that I deposit at least two sperm samples at the sperm bank that that facility maintained. Mary was determined that she was going to safeguard our future family just in case I did get caught. In retrospect Mary had been quite astute. We arrived back at the university on the fourth of January. I dropped Mary off at her dorm and after helping her unloading her things I headed for my own meager flat. I set my suitcases in the hallway and hung my suit bag over the closet door as I came in. The first thing I wanted to do was to take a good long shower and wash off the road dust that I was sure clogged every pore of my body. I lingered in the shower for some time. I heard the phone ring but I was not going to try to answer it, instead I let the voice mail pick up the call. I had started getting in the habit of shaving my legs and under arms. It just did not seem right to have all that extra hair if I was going to dress up. To tell the truth, that was the furthest thing from my mind at that moment. Still, I just felt that I needed to shave the darn hair off. After leaving the bathroom I grabbed a robe and head for the phone. As I expected, it was a message from Mary. 'Hi Sweety, its Me. I don't know if you unpacked yet but I left a surprise in your suitcase. It's up to you if you want to use it. I'll be over at six. Maybe we spend the night together. I don't have any classes tomorrow. Bye.' I logged off the voice mail and went out and retrieved my luggage from the hallway and carried it into my bedroom. I opened the first suitcase and it contained nothing of a surprise. Just my normal attire and shaving kit. I found the surprise she mentioned in the other bag. It was the 'Alice wig and the nightie that I had found but not worn that first night we arrived at my folks. There was also a white lace bra and a pair of breast forms. Ab