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SRU: Pipe Dreams By Persephone Lee was on his way home from work when he decided to swing into the mall parking lot and do some shopping. He was out of a few things at home and thought he would stop in and pick them up. He needed a refill cartridge for his printer and some paper from the office supply place. He also wanted to pick up a few things from the variety drug store at the far end of the mall while he was there. Lee found his printer cartridge and paper and was headed for the other end of the mall when he noticed that the tobacconist shop was just up ahead and getting closer. Lee knew that part of the reason he came to the mall rather than stop at a place in his neighborhood was the tobacconist shop. He just wanted to look one more time. Just check out the Meerschaum pipes again one more time. Especially that beautifully carved head of the woman or maybe the Meerschaum pipe that was carved in the form of a gorgeous naked lady. He also wanted to look at the carved heads of the other Meerschaum pipes. Maybe he could just smell some of the tobacco one more time too while he was there. Yep, there he was. He was now standing right outside the door of the tobacconist's facing the door. Lee turned away from the door back towards the mall. He thought it would be better if he just left. He knew he really shouldn't go in there. He quit smoking the pipe over a month ago on the advice of his doctor and was determined to stay quit this time. A heart attack will do that to you. He still had his pipe collection and he reasoned that he could go in, look at the pipes, maybe even buy one and it would be all right. He just wouldn't buy any tobacco. He didn't have any tobacco hidden at home anymore. He didn't have any in the car, or out in the shed or anyplace else either. He had finally gotten rid of it all. No, Lee didn't smoke the pipe anymore. He had finally quit. All he had left was his pipe collection and the desire and he had control of the desire. Lee had everything under control so what could it hurt to go in there. He turned around again and took the doorknob in his hand, turned it and he walked through. There was the tinkling of a small bell as the door opened and Lee thought to himself, 'I haven't heard one of those bells in years.' as he looked up at the bell and watched the door hit it again as it swung shut. He was still looking at the door when he heard a noise from the back of the shop and turned around to look in the direction of the noise. As he glanced around he thought he had just dropped in on a garage sale for the Adam's Family. There was all manner of strange junk on shelves and hanging from the walls. One thing that Lee was sure of, he wasn't where he had thought he was. This definitely was not the tobacco shop. What happened? Did he have the wrong door? No. He couldn't have. He distinctly remembered seeing the tobacco shop sign over the door when he walked up to the shop. It was the tobacco shop door that he had opened because he remembered the warning sign about being over 18 to enter. 'What the heck is going on here? Am I going nuts?' Lee thought to himself. "You're just fine Lee. Fear not for I know where you are. This is Spells R Us and I am the Wizard." Lee turned quickly and saw an old man standing behind the counter next to an old brass cash register. He was wearing what looked like... an old bathrobe? Lee said, "Okay. So, where did you say I am? What is this place? Who or what did you say you were? And where is the tobacco shop that was just here?" "Lee, Lee, Lee. You don't listen very well do you? I told you that this place is Spells R Us. It is a magic shop where you may purchase all manner of magic paraphernalia, spells, incantations and other associated sundries. I said that I am a wizard. I run the shop with the aid of my assistant who has gone missing for the moment. As far as the tobacco shop is concerned, you don't need it. You know you only quit smoking the pipe a month ago. You know it's bad for your health. You know it stinks and that you stink when you smoke it. You also know that the last place you should go right now is to a tobacconist shop. You don't have the will power. It's too soon after quitting." Lee looked at the old man and thought, 'I really hate these self righteous non-smoker types.' Then he said, "How do you know that I smoked the pipe or that I quit? Oh, right. You're a wizard. I forgot. Right. Well don't worry about it old man. I've quit for good and I can handle it. I was just going to look at some of the fancy hand carved Meerschaum pipes that they import from Turkey. I don't smoke anymore but I still collect them. Besides, it's really none of your business what I do or where I go!" '"Old man?" None of my business? This one needs some special attention I think.' Thought the Wizard. "You say you just collect eh. Well, I might just have something that would be of interest to you. If you only collect that is. Ah yes, here is what I was looking for." The Wizard said as he took a black object off of the shelf behind the counter and handed it to Lee. Lee immediately recognized it as the typical black, velvet lined pipe shaped container that usually held very fine Meerschaum pipes. He had a number of them at home but he had never seen one quite this large. He felt a pang of excitement as he reached for the object being offered by the Wizard. He took it in his hand, carefully unhooked the catch and opened it up. He caught his breath as he gazed upon the finest example of the pipe maker's art he had ever seen. There, resting on soft red velvet was a hand carved Meerschaum pipe with a genuine amber stem and a filigreed gold ring between the stem and the pipe. The pipe was well used and had the golden brown patina that comes with age and use. As Lee carefully lifted the pipe from its case by the stem being mindful not to touch the Meerschaum he looked at the carving. There was an intricate filigree of branches and leaves around the bowl that connected three picture panels. On the right side of the bowl was the strong handsome face of a man in the style of a Greek god. On the left side of the bowl was a panel with the face of a beautiful goddess with her long flowing hair becoming part of the filigree. The coloring of the pipe almost making the hair an auburn color. The front of the bowl showed a two faced head like the god Janus but with one half male facing the right panel and the other half was the female goddess facing the left panel. 'I have to have this pipe.' Thought Lee as he carefully placed it back into its velvet lined case and closed and latched it. "How much are you asking for this?" Lee asked casually. "Its quite old and a very special piece." The wizard said with a twinkle in his eye. "But for you I'll let it go for only fifty dollars." Lee took out his wallet and pulled out two twenties and a ten which he handed to the Wizard. He then picked up the pipe case. A small thrill of excitement ran through him as he held his prize. That only leaves me with ten bucks left in my wallet. He thought to himself, 'Fifty is a steal for this pipe. I got the best of this old man. Wizard my ass.' As the wizard took the money and put it in the old brass cash register he was thinking, 'We'll see about your ass Lee.' Then the wizard called after Lee as he headed for the door, "Oh Lee, there is one thing that I must warn you about before you go. You must never, ever, smoke that pipe. But then, that's not a problem for you, is it, Lee? You quit smoking last month, didn't you? But regardless, remember my warning and never smoke that pipe because if you do you will never smoke a pipe again. Have a nice day Lee." The wizard smiled as Lee walked out the door holding his prize and he wondered just how long it would be. As Lee left the shop and reentered the mall he turned to look back at the shop again. It was now the tobacconist shop. 'But how could that be?' Lee wondered. 'I was just in there and it was that magic shop. What did the old man call it? Spells R Us or something like that. I must be having hallucinations or delusions.' He thought. But there in his hand was the pipe case and there in front of him was the tobacco shop. He tucked the pipe into his coat pocket and headed for the door. As he entered the tobacconist's the owner looked up and said, "Lee. Haven't seen you in a month or more. You must need some more of your special blend by now. How much do you want?" Lee thought, I don't want to hurt his feelings so I'll just buy a little bit. "Give me about six ounces, Ed." He said. Ed took out Lee's card from the index and started to mix different tobaccos on the scale. When he finished he dumped the scale pan into a zip lock bag and sealed it. He wrote the blend on the bag and handed it to Lee. "That'll be ten bucks, Lee." "Here you go Ed." Lee said as he handed him the last of his cash. After a quick glance at the pipes displayed in the case Lee left the shop. 'None of those pipes compared to what I have in my pocket.' he thought as he headed for his car. He was broke now so he decided to forget the variety store and just drive home. Besides, he had a new prize he wanted to look at more closely. When Lee got home he carefully set his new pipe and the tobacco on the end table next to his favorite easy chair in the den. He went into the kitchen and prepared his dinner and then sat down and ate. After dinner and cleaning up Lee went to the den and sat in his easy chair. He turned on the television and made himself comfortable. Then he picked up the black pipe case and opened it up. There it was. That beautiful old Meerschaum pipe. What a coop getting it for only fifty dollars. He slipped on a pair of white cotton gloves before he carefully removed the pipe from the case. He turned it over in his hands admiring every bit of the fine carving and intricate detail. He had never seen such a unique design. This was going to be the centerpiece of his collection. Lee looked at the bag of his special blend and thought about just one bowl. I'll just smoke one bowl of my special blend and then I'll put the pipe in the display case and never smoke it again. He picked up the tobacco, opened the bag and carefully packed the bowl full. He achieved the proper density by packing it with his finger and then put the amber bit in his mouth and struck a match. As he moved the match closer to the bowl he thought, 'Now what was it the old man said? "Remember my warning and never smoke that pipe because if you do you will never smoke a pipe again." I wonder what the heck he could have meant by that.' The match ignited the tobacco as Lee drew on the pipe. The aroma of his special blend filled the room and Lee closed his eyes as he drew on the pipe again and the cool smoke filled his mouth. 'How good that tastes.' he thought. The taste of the tobacco and the Meerschaum caressed his taste buds. Then Lee felt a slight lightheadedness as he drew on the pipe for the third time. 'Boy, I haven't smoked for over a month and I'm getting a high from it.' He thought. He laid his head back in the chair and drew on the pipe again. There was a feeling that rushed through his entire body. Numbness in his fingers was first. Then a prickling sensation almost like goose flesh but all over his body. He tried to get up but couldn't. His body was not responding. His head was in a fog. He was dizzy and disoriented. This was totally weird. This had never happened to him before. Not even the time his buddy had slipped that 'wacky tabaccy' into his tobacco pouch. The pipe was still in his hand and the bit was in his mouth and he found himself drawing on the pipe one more time. A sudden rush hit him, his whole body stiffened and then it was over. The strange feeling flowed out of him. Lee found himself looking at the Meerschaum pipe in his hand but it wasn't his hand. The gloves were gone and the hand was a fine, smooth, small hand with long well manicured nails with amber polish on them. There was a filigreed gold band on his right ring finger like the one on the stem of his new pipe. The hand was attached to a small almost hairless arm, which led his gaze up and over to look at the swellings on his chest and the ample cleavage visible in the v-neck of the soft silk blouse that he was now wearing. The blouse was the soft golden brown patina color of his new Meerschaum pipe. He saw the long waves of auburn hair that cascaded over his shoulders and down onto his full bosom like the waves of hair of the goddess. Then he looked down at the dark tobacco brown pleated skirt that ran down from the small waist over the full hips to just above his knees. His The legs were propped up on the footstool and crossed at the ankles. They were now shapely nylon encased legs that ran from the bottom of the skirt to a pair of dainty feet wearing dark brown pumps with 3-inch heels. Lee reached up with his left hand and felt the soft smooth flesh of his hairless face as he glanced to his left and looked in the mirror on the wall across the room. It was the beautiful young face of the goddess from the pipe. The last thing that Lee saw just before he screamed and lost consciousness were the faces on the pipe. The face on the left- hand side of the old Meerschaum pipe was a man's face. His face! The face of the goddess was gone. The Greek god was still on the on the right side of the bowl but the middle panel was now a two faced man, Lee's face and the Greek god. Meanwhile in a Mall in Dover, Delaware the wizard paused and smiled. "Well, I warned you that you would never smoke the pipe again. After all, proper young ladies just don't smoke pipes, now do they Leigh? Score one for us self righteous non-smoker types!" Pipe Dreams (c) 3/26/2001, Persephone

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Warning: This story contains adult material. SRU: An Error in Application by Fringold Sixfingers Lyle Green had heard several rumors about the 'Spells R Us' shop in the mall. Sense he did not believe in magic, he took the stories as tells of fancy. There was one rumor he was not about to ignore. The best place to buy computer hardware was SRU. Lyle could use an upgrade to keep him competitive. Soon he was outside the shop. Not at all what he was expecting. The store looked more...

3 years ago
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SRUAF A Wizards Altered Fate

Author's Notes by Bill Hart This was initially intended to be the second posting of the collaborative crossover set in the 'Spells R Us' and 'Altered Fates' universes written by myself and Raven. However, after finally making contact with Raven, we decided my story could be posted first, with his story becoming a prequel of sorts, instead of the lead in. Before I do anything else I would like...

3 years ago
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SRU Well Dressed

SRU: Well Dressed By Bashful Jack Edward Wilson was a relatively happy man. He had a good job and a wonderful wife. They had not been blessed with children yet but that was just a matter of time, he was sure. Jack really enjoyed his job, it was something he liked doing and he was good at it. He worked for a good company that treated it's employees well. You'd think he had the perfect life and you'd be right, except for one little thing. Jack wished he was a...

2 years ago
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SRU Hunting Season

Note: This is rather tame compared to the other SRU stories and I took a few liberties with this one. I hope that I don't piss anyone off with it. There is no sex on this one so if that is a deciding factor for you, pass this one by. Please let me know what you think of this story, whether you like or dislike it. I have other stories that I'm working on and hopefully will post in the future. This story may be posted to any sight that doesn't charge a fee. All others must get my...

2 years ago
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SRU Pantyhose

SRU: PANTYHOSE BY PAUL G. JUTRAS "Why can't I wear clothes like that." Was the thought that often ran through Chris's mind. Chris was a pleasant twenty-two year old. Anyone who looked at him would think he was a normal boy checking out girls. What he was looking at was the clothes they had on. Clothes he wish he could have on. His mother's side of the family ran a night club and during the early evening he listened to the music and wondered what it would be like to feel silk...

2 years ago
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SRU Made for Each Other

SRU: MADE FOR EACH OTHER by Roy Del Frink Leland Welker was strolling through the mall one day when he saw a strange sight. It was an old-fashioned wooden shop called "Spells R Us". He was bored, so he decided to enter on a whim. Leland couldn't believe all the junk in there, and didn't understand what he would do in a place like this. Just then he noticed a short old man behind the counter. He looked at least eighty years old, and he wore an old crimson bathrobe. He asked the...

2 years ago
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SRU Christmas Miracles

SRU: Christmas Miracles Copyright (c) 1999 by Chilli TNG --------------------------------------- Notes: The Spells 'R' Us Universe was created by Bill Hart; any characters from that universe that I've borrowed are ultimately his and I thank him for opening this universe to everyone. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone living, dead, or undead is totally coincidental. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get a life. Comments and thoughtful...

3 years ago
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SRU Half and Half

SRU: HALF AND HALF By Roy Del Frink A disgruntled lady walked up to the counter, holding a paper bag in her arm. "Listen here, buddy," she said to the old man behind the counter, "you sold me a potion that would turn my husband into the next thing I said. I said, 'Change my husband into a Chippendale dancer,' and look what happened!" She placed the bag on the counter, and opened it. The lady pulled out two chipmunks, dressed in tiny top hats, tuxes, and canes. One had a...

1 year ago
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SRU The Nightlight

Permission is granted to post to the TG-fiction list, archive, and Fictionmania site and to the atEROS site. Personal copies for non-commercial use permitted. Anyone else who wants to archive this on a free access website or ftp site, just send me an email telling me that you did so and the url or ftp address. Anyone who wants to archive this on a for-pay site, don't. Member Net Authors and Creators Union - NACU. Authors and creators welcome, email [email protected] for more...

2 years ago
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SRU Ultimate Sacrifice

Note: This Story contains an exceptionally grisly scene. As always, The SRU universe and related Intellectual Property are copyrighted to Bill Hart. Thanks to Bill for creating this wide and grand universe. This story may be archived on any free site. SRU: Ultimate Sacrifice By Lucretia Alex was walking to the mall, planning on stopping by the food court to grab some grub. He cursed his car, which broke down yesterday. He looked like the walk could do him some good for at 23;...

3 years ago
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SRU Better Than Plastic

SRU: Better Than Plastic By Roy Del Frink Mark and Susan Johnson had been married ten long, happy years. They were a perfect couple. Although they were childless, they planned to have children soon; in fact, Mark had tried to impregnate Susan for two months without success. Mark was pleased with his job balancing the bank's checkbooks, and Susan was equally pleased to serve as receptionist for the local high school. Time was starting to wreak havoc on the thirty-something couple's...

3 years ago
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SRU Chads Story

SRU: Chad's Story By Bashful Chad walked into the mall and looked around. He needed some girls to come to the frat party tonight. So far he had struck out. Last year he had come up with the idea to bring back the party committee and party fund. He had been appointed party chairman as a result. This was to be the first big party of the new school year. Chad was a senior and he wanted to make this last year of college a memorable one. Chad stopped and stared at a little...

1 year ago
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SRU Jerry Jerry Jerry

SRU: Jerry...Jerry...Jerry... by [email protected] edited by SteveZ The SRU Universe belongs to the great Bill Hart, but most of you already knew that. Although it pains me to say it, I was watching an episode of the Springer show the other day, and this story seemed natural. This story can be posted on any free site. (Especially FM!) ********************************************************** "Welcome to the show, today's topic: Magical Gender Changes. We ...

4 years ago
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SRU The Way of the Manga

SRU: The Way of the Manga By Melissa Virus Copyright 2000 Matt and Jason headed into the mall. Every Tuesday they went to Cedar Oaks Mall to pick up the latest issues of their favorite comics at Skanky's Comic and Video; today was especially exciting because a Class of Ninja High School video Jason had special-ordered was supposed to be coming in. Matt made fun of him. "You know that Ninja High shit's American, right? That's not real. The guy who makes it is named fuckin' Ben," he...

4 years ago
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SRU Learning French

SRU: Learning French By Demonn Hi, my name is Todd or should I say was Todd. I am, was 5' 10" and maybe just a bit of a geek. I wasn't ugly mind you but I wasn't all that incredibly strong. But that didn't stop me having friends like everyone else. It was a Saturday and like always, I was going to have some fun at my friend's house. I was a simple 15 year old guy, who enjoyed some R&R, when, my high school, Rivers High, was out. I mean who didn't. When I arrived at...

2 years ago
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SRU Lovers Knot First Draft

Some time ago, Raven and I collaborated on an SRU story called Lovers (K)Not, which is unfortunately incomplete at this time. Raven created the story idea, basic plot and the main characters, and then asked me to write a rough draft based on the information that he gave me. After I completed the rough draft, I sent it to him, where he polished it up and added quite a bit more detail as well as his own touches. Raven posted each chapter to Fictionmania after he'd finished his...

2 years ago
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SRU A Bullies Time to Pay the Fiddler

SRU- A Bullies Time to Pay the Fiddler By Jennifer Allison "Mrs. O'Leary your son Dean is incorrigible." "What has he done now?" "What hasn't he done. The only thing I know for sure he hasn't done is sell drugs." "Tell me more." "Do you know he is the school's loan shark?" "I didn't know. Where does he get the money?" "By being a bully and taking it from the kids that can't stop him from taking it." "You see I am single mom trying to raise Dean and his sister...

2 years ago
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SRU Catwalk Comeback

SRU: Catwalk comeback By MTG 15th August 2002 Well, a month before heading back to South Bank University to complete my Computing degree, I was in the Bentalls centre in Kingston shopping for bits and pieces so I would be ready when term started in about a month's time. After my quite literally 'out of this world' year I had already been itching to get back to normality after April - post the events of July I couldn't wait for term to start - with Steve having already...

1 year ago
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SRU The Pardon

A version of this story appeared on Big Closet and on Sapphire's TG Fiction List. It may be added to other free archives as long as it does not violate Bill Hart's strictures on the use of his characters or my own notice at the bottom of the story. SRU: The Pardon By Lainie Lee The shabbily dressed man hurrying through the holiday shopping crowd slipped into the first door he came to. Hal David figured it must be a side corridor into service areas of the mall where he could hide...

3 years ago
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SRU Weekend in Reno

This, my first FictionMania story, is based on a real weekend in October 2003. Just about everything in the first section of the story is true. Beyond that, well, this is an SRU story after all. (Reno girlfriends: no attempt has been made to match the characters in this story to any of you! Your secrets are safe...) --- We had been planning this outing for months. Most of the girls in my Yahoo Group had never met each other in person, but now we were going to get together in Reno...

1 year ago
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SRU Mana Burn

Doing serious stories is quite enjoyable. Despite the fact that I'm still in the process of working on a rather long opus, I felt that a break was in order. Recharging the batteries through a little bit of humor has always been a fun tactic for me, so without further ado, I give you my first, and probably only entry into the Spells R Us universe. This particular story was inspired by a description of the card rack in SRU-Trading Cards, and the wizard's fondness for games as described in...

1 year ago
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SRU Paper Dragon

SRU: Paper Dragon By Kim West I wish to thank Bill Hart for creating the SRU Universe and allowing others to have a chance to play in it. The story I have come up with is loosely based on "Puff the Magic Dragon." I hope you will enjoy the following. There once was a little rascal by the name of Jack Paper who loved to destroy everything in his path. His bedroom looked like a cyclone had hit it, and this would be only moments after his mother had cleaned it for him. His toys usually...

3 years ago
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SRU Empathy Belly

SRU: Empathy Synopsis: A trio of pregnant women are getting frustrated by the lack of sympathy from their husbands / lovers. A visit to a curious little shop gives them the means to let the men in their lives experience all the discomfort of their pregnancies. Remember, though, to read the instructions! [email protected] ********************************************************************** SRU: Empathy Denise eased herself into the plastic chair and...

2 years ago
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SRU Field Trip

SRU: Field Trip Jack woke up as he always did. Messed up from a night of partying and binge drinking, with of course the occasional mixture of various drugs. Groggy and clumsily, he got up from bed and looked at his calendar. "A visit to the zoo? Oh joy!" Jack said with a sarcastic tone. He had never thought much of animals in general nor was he going to start to now. What with being a troublemaker in class, this would just be another opportunity to do more trouble, he...

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