Studying Abroad free porn video

Studying Abroad ? by: Karen Elizabeth My family and I were moving to the Phoenix area where Dad had landed a very good job. John, my best friend, had graduated two years early and was now a student at the University of Phoenix majoring in Psychology. When he heard that we were moving out to the area, he asked if he could see my folks and me before we moved. Something about helping him with a research project. He said that completion of this project would mean a great deal to him and that there was even money in it for me if I helped. I'm a sucker for easy money so I agreed. The money part was what interested me, I really had no inclination towards becoming a lab rat but there weren't many things I wouldn't do for a buck. I wanted to go to college but my family didn't have the finances to afford it and I hated to take out loans, which I figured I'd be paying back twenty years after I graduated. When John finished explaining his project though, I knew that at least there was one thing I wouldn't do for money - his project! "That's hilarious," my dad howled after John explained how I could help. "Hell, I'd sort of love to see it, he has been such an arrogant little so and so over the years!" "Is something like that legal?" Mom asked, her eyes wide in amazement. "How would you ever get away with it?" "It's perfectly legal Mrs. Belmont," John assured her. "The university would take care of all of the medical and legal details as well as giving Tom here a generous stipend." "Stipend, for what they want me to do?" I shook my head, shocked that my family wasn't sticking up for me. "Does anyone realize exactly what I'd have to do to earn it?" "You'd certainly have to behave yourself for a while Tom," Dad said with a touch of curiosity to his voice. "It might help to settle you down a bit." "Come on everyone, this is crazy, you can't do what you're talking about!" I said exasperatedly. "It would be a big help to me Tom and you'll be well taken care of if you say yes," John argued. "How well would I be taken care of?" I asked before thinking. "For every month you'll be given five hundred dollars, after six months you'd get one thousand dollars and at the end you'll be given a full scholarship to the university." John shrugged as though we were talking nickels and dimes. My eyes widened as I rang up the total in my head. "Every six months I'll make three thousand plus an extra thousand bonus, that's thirty two grand total?" John looked at me and laughed. "Close your mouth before flies get in. That's chump change for university projects." "All I have to do is go back to high school?" "As a girl Tom, you have to spend four years living as a girl," John emphasized. "You're height and weight would be an asset for once and the university would take care of all the other changes." "How drastic would these changes be?" I asked. "Just in case I would want to change my mind." "You wouldn't lose anything, if that's what you're worried about. A little plastic surgery to tuck things away and make you look realistic, implants to enhance your bust, and small dosages of estrogen to help fill you out a bit." "When he graduates can he be a boy again?" Dad asked before I could. "I checked everything out very thoroughly before I came here," John smiled. "He can call it quits at any time, all of the changes will be reversed and no one would ever know the difference." "It's up to you Tom," Dad told me, "It sounds foolproof; you'd be helping John in his studies, you'd have a chance to fix the bad grades you have, you stand to make quite a bit of money, and your college education would be paid for." "But high school again, and as a girl? Why couldn't it be college?" I whined, wanting the money but not what I'd have to do to earn it. "The study is to see if gender roles are learned or natural," Tom patiently explained, "Girls develop physically and mentally as women during their high school years. It's when they learn what will be expected of them and how they will handle their lives. If gender roles are learned, that's when they're learned." "So what if they are?" I wasn't sure where all this was leading. "What happens to me?" "If gender roles are learned, as I think they are," John continued. "With everyone treating you as a girl you should begin to respond like one. Once the experiment is over, you'll switch right back to being a boy." "Okay, six million dollar question - what if you're wrong?" "Then you'll really earn your money trying to fit in as a girl," John shrugged, "Plenty of guys pass themselves off as women every day so it can be done. If you find yourself thinking like a teenage girl; longing for the Backstreet Boys, thinking that guys are cute, things like that, then I'm right." "You did say it was worth thirty two grand, right? And a scholarship?" I knew I should have run, but I couldn't think with all of those dollar signs crowding my brain. "By the way," he said casually to mom and dad, "There's a two hundred dollar a month clothing allowance." I saw trouble brewing in my parent's eyes. They'd turn me into a sweet girl for four years and wouldn't have to pay a cent to clothe me. How could they lose? Then again, I could coast through High School again, and make a mint doing it. How could I lose? "Why not just get a fourteen year old boy to do it?" I asked suspiciously. "Wouldn't that be simpler than trying to make me younger and a girl?" Tom shook his head. "We might run into legal problems with a minor, you're eighteen and can legally decide for yourself." "Why me though? There must be other guys who need money?" Tom looked at me in silence for a few minutes. "Because you'd easily fit in, okay? I hoped you wouldn't ask, that you'd just go for the money but if you have to know it's because you look enough like a girl to pass without too much trouble. You're short, you already have long hair, not much in the way of muscles, and you have little if any body hair. Puberty hasn't been kind to you but this could help make up for it." "Just think of it as studying abroad," he joked rather lamely, "With you as the broad!" I felt insulted, but only for a moment, the money was just too good and since no one would know.... "All right," I sighed, feigning indifference, "Who do I need to see to sign up?" "I just happen to have the papers with me," Tom grinned. What made you think I'd go along?" I asked as I read over the papers. "The money!" Tom and my parents answered in unison. They were right; I checked everything and it was just as Tom had promised so I signed. If I had to spend the next four years as a girl, at least I'd be a very well off girl! Two days later Tom sent me all the information on where I would go to start my new life. Within a month I'd have the physical characteristics of a fourteen year old girl; thirty-two A cup breasts and realistic looking and even partially functional female genitals. Before I had breast implants done the small amount of male hormones I my body was producing were blocked. They enhanced my feminine looks by adding a little more fat to my hips and butt, and caused my breasts to start to develop. By the start of school, I'd be pretty much indistinguishable from your average fourteen-year-old girl. I was lying in a hospital bed; ready to be operated on when I had doubts about what I was about to do. "I don't want..," I managed to whisper hoarsely just before the lights went out. I wanted to scream when I woke up and realized that I was now a cute teenage girl. "It's all done sweetie," Mom said as she ran her fingers through my hair. I looked at the bandages on my chest and wished I had more brains than greed. "I guess it's too late to change my mind?" I asked groggily. "Don't worry honey, you're going to have a great time, I can't wait to take you shopping and get your hair done. "Do I have to mom?" I pleaded. "I don't think I want to get that far into this stuff, you know? "Just trust me sweetie, you're going to love being pampered at the beauty shop and the stores are just loaded with pretty outfits for fall!" I wished that I could share in mom's excitement but I kept worrying that I had made a big mistake and that thirty two inches and an A cup was the exact size of my mistake! When I was released from the hospital a few days later mom threw herself into the task of turning me into the sweetest fourteen-year-old girl that ever existed. While I was home recovering she was by my side asking my opinion of different outfits featured in magazines such as 'Teen'. We went through those magazines from cover to cover, reviewing outfits, hairstyle, makeup, and even the columns where girls wrote in to talk about problems with their families and boyfriends. After a couple of weeks I felt certain that I could hold my own in a conversation with any girl. I knew about the hottest boy-bands, the cutest movie stars, the most to-die-for fashions, I even practiced talking the way girls did in the magazines and on TV shows until it seemed to come naturally for me. I guess it was because they shut off my body's normal supply of male hormones but I started to feel different somehow. I can't really describe the feelings; I felt really peaceful most of the time yet sometimes I got really bummed out for no reason. Once in a while I even found myself looking in a mirror and wondering if I was really pretty? Was my nose too big or were my breasts too small? Maybe I could dye my hair blonde; wouldn't that be so cool, to be a blonde? One day after we'd moved I was looking through one of my magazines. "You're not really going to make me wear clothes like this, are you?" I pointed to a model with a top that barely covered her breasts and jeans that were low enough to be indecent. "I'd feel like a jerk running around in tight jeans, short jerseys, looking like Jailbait." "It's what girls your age wear honey but you're right, I don't my daughter looking like a tramp. We'll get you some pretty outfits that will show everyone how pretty you are without showing too much," Mom said as we boxed up my old clothes, preparing to move. I went to pick up a box of clothes but she stopped me. "That's work for a man, we'll get your dad to handle it," She told me. "But I can handle it mom," I protested, hoping to hang onto some shred of my masculinity. "I'd like you to call me Mother from now on," Mom insisted as she shooed me away from the box. "By the way, what name will you use?" I hadn't given any thought to a new name but mom was right, I couldn't very well be a girl named Tom, could I? "I don't know, I guess I'm having trouble thinking of myself as a girl so I can't think of any names to use," I admitted. "Well you'd better start thinking of yourself as a girl young lady," Mom admonished. "You're going to earn every cent of that money at first. Of course, once you get used to being a girl, it'll be a breeze. Now, how about Cynthia Lynn for a name?" "That's kind of girly, don't you think?" I was hoping for something a little plainer, like Mary. "No, I think it's a lovely name for a lovely girl," Mom said with an air of finality. "Why don't we get you dressed and let your daddy meet his little girl?" "No," I begged, "Please mom, don't make me call him Daddy, I don't want to be anyone's little girl!" My stomach was churning and my skin was beginning to get clammy. "You know how much he's gloating about this, don't make me do it, please?" "Tom was a real problem for him over the years," Mom reminded me. "He tried to get along with you, to do things with you but you shut him out. Can you blame him for gloating now? I want you to be a good girl for your father to make up for being such a pain before." Mom was right I guess but I was just trying to be independent, a man on my own. Now I was going to be his little girl and he was going to enjoy it. I had a brief feeling that it would be so nice to make daddy happy. "Yes mother, I'm sorry. I'll try to be good for daddy." God, it hurt to say that. "Everything's going to be fine Cindy," Mom told me as she selected an outfit for me to wear. "Now pay attention, I'm not going to treat you like a baby and dress you. I'll teach you how to shave your legs and underarms later but you don't have enough to worry about for now. You're a big girl now and I expect you to learn this quickly." Minutes later mom had me all dolled up in panties, a strapless bra, half-slip, and pantyhose and was curling my hair. "You're lucky to have such beautiful hair Cindy," she smiled as she rolled my long hair onto heated curlers. "You'll be able to set it in so many pretty styles." While we waited for my hair to finish curling mom showed me how to apply makeup. "You're too young for a lot of makeup Cindy but a little eye shadow, blush, and lipstick will bring out your best features without making you into a little tramp. We'll use a lighter shade at the corners of your eyes to make them seem bigger and a darker lip-liner to make your lips seem fuller and more kissable" "No, please mom, I don't want kissable lips. Why do I have to bother with this stuff anyways?" "It's all part of being a girl Cindy," Mom brushed aside my objections as she brushed lipstick over my newly outlined lips. She hummed and smiled as she gave me lips that I'd have killed to see and kiss on a girl. After the makeup, mom had me hold up my arms so that she could slide a lilac colored dress with spaghetti straps over my head. The lingerie was a bit small for her based on what I'd seen in the laundry over the years and the dress was obviously a style for young girls. Mom had been shopping! "You bought these things for me, didn't you?" I asked meekly while stepping into a pair of shoes that perfectly matched the dress I wore. "Just a few outfits to get you started, I thought you'd rather select most of your new outfits yourself," she smiled. "Do you really think I did the right thing mom, I mean mother?" I asked hopefully as I stared into the full-length mirror on my closet door. "John's always been a big help getting me through my classes but I'm just not sure if I should be doing this." I was having a tough time adjusting to the clothes I wore; the underwear fit me like a second skin and felt better than anything I'd ever worn before. The bra was tight against my chest but the support it gave my small breasts made me feel strangely secure; without anything hanging between my legs all of my concerns seem to be for the comfort of my breasts. "I thought it was very sweet of you to agree Cindy," Mom said as she brushed out my hair. "It's an unusual idea but it's very interesting. Personally, I think that the way a person grows up does influence how masculine or feminine they become. If a girl grows up in a family with several sisters, like I did, she learns to be more feminine than a girl who grows up with just a mother. Of course, it also depends on how the mother treats the girls as she grows up. Girls that are expected to be sugar and spice will turn out that way." "Is that what you're going to do to me?" I suddenly lashed out. "Treat me all girly and hope I'll turn out like a little princess?" "Calm down Cindy," Mom said quietly as she finished brushing out my hair and pinning a small lilac bow into it. "I think it would be wonderful to have a daughter who enjoyed looking pretty and acting like a young lady but that's up to you; remember, you're in control and anytime you feel that you can't handle it anymore, you can pull the plug." "That's right, I can, can't I!" I exclaimed happily. There it was; a ray of sunshine peeking through the pink clouds surrounding me. "You can try all that you like but I'll never really be a girl, I can take anything you can dish out." "I accept your challenge Cindy," Mom laughed. "Now let's go show your father his pretty new daughter!" "Is that really necessary mother? I feel embarrassed enough standing here dressed like this, I don't think I could stand having dad see me like this." "He'll see you eventually Cindy. I want my daughter's debut to be special which is why I bought you these clothes. Now be a good girl and show your daddy how pretty you are." I still wanted to run and hide, to take off these silly clothes and put my pants on again. The trouble was that having accepted an advance payment for the first six months of the study I would either have to go through with being a girl for six months or pay the money back. Of course, paying the money back would be admitting defeat and my pride wouldn't allow that to happen. I swallowed hard and placed my hands behind my back trying to strike a girlish pose. "Yes mother, I want to look nice for daddy," I smiled and swayed like I'd seen girls do. "Do you think he'll like the way I look?" "Of course he will. You have the potential to be a very pretty young lady Cindy," Mom smiled as she took my hand. "This isn't even the start of the new you." There it was again, that little bit of excitement I felt when mom said that I could be pretty. What was going on in my head? "Honey, come meet our daughter Cynthia Lynn." Mom called out as we walked down the steps. "She's a real cutie pie!" Dad's eyes grew wide as he watched mom and I come down the steps. "You aren't kidding," He whistled softly and held his hand out to me. "You look very nice Cindy," he said with a smile. "No one would ever suspect that you were a boy." I was surprised that he didn't fall on the floor laughing when he saw me. Why was he acting so nice and why did it I like it? "I still am daddy," I quickly pointed out. "I'm just trying to help out a friend, remember?" "You really can't expect me to think of you as a boy when you look like this Cindy." Dad shrugged his shoulders. "No, you're way too pretty to be a boy. By the way, I like being called Daddy, it reminds me of when you were little and still enjoyed spending time with me." "I think Cindy will be spending a lot more time with us than Tom did," Mom grinned. "She and I are going shopping later, right sweetie? I was stuck and my parents were taking every advantage of my misfortune. Dad was treating me like a little kid, mom was making me into her own little Barbie doll to dress in frilly outfits, and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I had volunteered to be a fourteen- year-old girl and as far as my parents were concerned, that's what I was. The independence I had fought for was gone and it was my fault. I had better get used to being a kid again. "I let her wear a little makeup this time," Mom explained to dad. "But I've explained to her that she will not be allowed to run around, looking like some tramp. She's going to be every inch a proper young lady." "That means listening to what we say and doing exactly what your mom and I tell you to do young lady, is that clear?" Dad asked, emphasizing the "Young Lady" part. His tone was firm, yet friendly, he wasn't at all upset with me; he just seemed to be explaining things to a headstrong daughter. I knew there was no challenging my father while I was wearing a dress and makeup. I'd just have to get used to being his little girl. "Yes Daddy," I said softly. "I'll be a good girl, I promise." "Mother, what about my old clothes? Maybe I could use them for working around the house." I had your father donate all of your old clothes to Goodwill honey," Mom smiled. "No daughter of mine is going to run around in boy's clothes. "You agreed to this Cindy," Dad laughed. "I never in a million years expected to see my eighteen year old son dressed up and acting like a young girl but here you are and this is how you'll stay as long as you're in that program. If you wore boy's clothes you might be tempted to act like a boy, which could screw up the experiment for John. Acting like a boy might also cause people to wonder about you and I'm sure you wouldn't want that to happen, would you now?" Dad sure knew how to grab my attention! I'd never live it down if anyone ever found out that I was pretending to be a girl; I'd have to do my best to make people believe I really was a girl and he knew it. "No daddy, I wouldn't want that," I said softly, trying to make myself sound like a girl. "I'll do what ever you and mother say, I promise." "Good girl," Dad leaned over and kissed me. "Now why don't you girls go shopping for some pretty clothes? You can model them for me later, okay?" Dad had me over a barrel but I had to put up with it now that I was a sweet little girl. I wasn't beaten yet though! "I love you daddy!" I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. You want a sweet little girl daddy dear? Well hang onto your hat 'cause I'm going to make Shirley Temple look like Sylvester Stallone. We'd see how he liked that! "Come on mother, I can't wait to see all the pretty clothes at the mall!" I sang out as I took mom's hand. I looked back at dad and flashed him a smile. "Maybe there will be some cute boys there too!" Dad wasn't fazed. "I'm sure there will be Cindy," he laughed. "Have a good time!" "No dating until you're sixteen young lady," Mom said firmly as we drove to the mall. "And then the boy had best come to the door to pick you up!" "Mother please," I sighed. I was just joking." "I wasn't," Mom shrugged. "As pretty as you are, boys are going to be interested." "I'd never date another boy, no way!" I vowed. "That would be going too far." "That's up to you to decide Cindy," She smiled mysteriously. "But I'll bet that if you're still a girl when you're sixteen, you'd be only too happy to go out with a cute boy." "No chance of that mom," I explained with conviction. "No matter what, I'll always be a boy in my head." "We'll see," Mom smiled and nodded her head. "We'll see." I was trembling as mom pulled into the parking lot at the mall. If anyone saw through my disguise I was toast! Mom seemed to be able to sense my apprehension. "Calm down Cindy, you look exactly like any other girl shopping with her mom, no one will notice," she said softly, calming my fears. "Do you want to check your makeup before we go in?" I nodded and quickly gave myself a once over. Was I kidding myself or did I really look like a teenage girl? There was only one way to tell. "Okay mother," I said after a deep breath. "I'm ready." People passed us as we entered the mall but except for some girls checking out my outfit and boys checking me out, no one seemed to care. "You're doing just fine Cindy," she whispered. "Keep your head up, move your arms a little more, that's a girl." I followed mom's every suggestion trying to fit in with the other girls I saw. It wasn't until I was in the middle of the department stores lingerie section that I realized that mom had gotten me to forget that I wasn't a girl. Looking around at all of the lace, satin, and nylon brought me back to reality in a hurry. "This is embarrassing mother," I whispered as mom held up a peach colored bra with lace-covered cups. "Couldn't we just shop through the catalog?" "Why should you be embarrassed Cindy?" Mom asked sweetly. "Those other girls don't seem like they're embarrassed, do they?" she asked, nodding towards a group of girls who seemed to be having a fun time choosing sexy looking panties. "But they're..." I started to say. "And so are you," Mom corrected me before I could finish. "You need the same things as any other girl - slips, bra, panties, stockings, so why shouldn't you enjoy shopping for them? "I can't believe this is happening," I whispered. "I've never been this scared before in my life." "Relax honey, think about how nice your new clothes feel. Now imagine how nice this bra would feel as it supports your breasts." I started to rub my fingers across the satin fabric of the bra and realized that mom was right; it really would feel so soft and comfortable as it held my breasts in place. "You're right," I smiled with a bit of a guilty look on my face. "It would be just so dreamy to wear!" Mom broke into a huge grin. "You're going to have the time of your life Cindy; you'll get to wear such pretty clothes and feel like a real princess." "I know mother," I said as I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "It all seems so strange to me but if I'm going to be a girl, I want to look pretty and wear all kinds of neat stuff." "That's what I want to hear baby," Mom squeezed my hand. "Do you want to pick out your own clothes?" "Oh yes mother," I prattled. "I think that would be just so cool. But I could use a little help if you don't mind?" Mom and I bonded like a mother and daughter as we checked out rack after rack of pretty lingerie. I reached for some cotton panties but mom took them from me and laughed. "You wore cotton for eighteen years, now I want you to go all girly. What do you think of these?" she asked; holding up several pairs made entirely of stretch lace. "Your father would choke if he saw his little girl in those!" "He's not the only one," I gasped as she handed me the panties. "I could never wear these!" "And why not?" Mom teased. "Afraid you might like them?" "Don't be ridiculous," I whispered. "I know that wouldn't happen; I'm just afraid of what daddy would think. I'm supposed to be a good little girl, remember?" "You'd better be," Mom winked. "Or your father might spank you; just make sure you're not wearing those panties if he does!" And so ended that argument. Mom insisted on helping me pick out all kinds of pretty underwear; I chose a few white bras for school; at her insistence I chose the softest, silkiest cups I could find. Mom told me that I should buy nothing but the best for my breasts. I didn't get a single pair of cotton panties; mom said that the satin, lace, and nylon ones were just too scrumptious to pass up. I'd need a few slips to go with my dresses so I found some really cute black and white ones with lots of lace at the bottom, they made me blush just looking at them. It was embarrassing yet strangely exciting to be picking out frilly underwear; if I was just trying to teach dad a lesson then why was I starting to enjoy it so much? After we finished with the lingerie we hurried over to see how much we could spend on dresses and stuff for outside of school. "I saw this in 'Teen' last month, isn't is hot?" I asked as I held a tiger striped dress against me. "Too hot for you young lady," Mom frowned. "Remember what I said about not being a tramp?" She then held up a pink dress with a square cut neckline. "How about this one?" It was plain but there was something about it that appealed to me. "Should I try it on?" "Why not?" Mom nodded, "But take a couple of outfits to make it worth the trip." After a little more shopping I was off to the fitting room with the pink dress, a black one, several skirts, and a couple of tops. I felt a little strange passing other girls on my way in but I was supposed to be a girl now too so I kept walking. I finally settled on the pink and black dresses along with several skirts that had a sheer hem that ended just below a liner. They looked sexy and revealing even though there wasn't anything naughty about them; I loved the look on girls and was amazed to find that I now looked just as good in those dresses. It hurt to admit it but I made a pretty cute looking girl. My new tops were cute, a few had kittens and things like that, but the one that I knew I had to buy was the one that said 'Daddy's Girl' in sparkle. "I can't wait to see your father's face when he sees that one," Mom laughed. "It will make his whole day, I'm sure of that." "I hope so mother," I smiled. "I know I've been a problem in the past but I'm going to try to be the sweetest daughter he can imagine now." Mom raised an eyebrow, "Any particular reason?" "I bit my lower lip and smiled deviously, "Revenge, sort of. He thinks it's funny that I'm helping John like this after I was such a pain to him Well now I plan to be the sweetest little girl imaginable and see how he likes that!" "Be nice to him Cindy, he really cares about you," Mom advised. I thought about it for a moment then held up the T Shirt and smiled. "Okay, but I hope he appreciates it." As soon as we got home I hurried over and gave my dad a big kiss and hug. "I bought all kinds of cool stuff daddy, I can't wait to show you!" I said excitedly. "Wait until you see the pretty dress I bought." I rushed of to my room and then slipped off my dress and pantyhose. I quickly put all of my sexy new panties into the back of my drawer but kept out the black lace pair. I pulled off the panties I was wearing, tossed them into the hamper and slowly pulled the new ones up. I felt a chill run up my spine as I admired myself in the mirror. Strange thoughts seemed to pop into my head. "What would John think if he knew how wholeheartedly I was getting into the experiment? I'd probably have to tell him about the clothes, but I wouldn't mention the panties. We were friends as boys but I was a girl now and good girls like me didn't go showing off their panties to boys." I couldn't imagine why I seemed to think of myself as a girl all of a sudden but the goofy thoughts wouldn't go away. I was stuck with them but they didn't seem all that bad. "I hope daddy thinks I look nice," I thought as I lowered my slip, pulled on my pantyhose and the pink dress. It seemed important to me to have his approval, maybe because I had hurt him before. I hoped he wouldn't laugh or make and smart remarks though; I'd be a good daughter if he'd give me a chance. I freshened up my makeup just like mom had shown me and went to model for dad. "You look very pretty Cindy," he beamed as I walked into the room. "That dress is just perfect on you, it shows off your pretty legs without being too short. You're going to have boys falling over their tongues when they see you!" "Daddy!" I exclaimed. "I don't want to have to deal with boys, it's tough enough getting used to being a girl without having to worry about boys too." "Sorry precious," He pulled me close and gave me a hug and kiss. "You're such a pretty girl that boys won't be able to help themselves. If you stay as a girl for long, you'll find that out for yourself." "Oh crap," I blurted, "I didn't think about that. Why didn't anyone warn me?" "We thought you knew Cindy," Dad said gently, "Of course no one expected you to be so pretty." "Do you really think I'm pretty daddy?" I asked in amazement. He didn't sound as though he was teasing me, he really sounded serious. Dad lifted my chin and kissed me on the forehead. "Of course I do Cindy." He said softly as he hugged me. "Please don't take this wrong but you're too pretty to be a boy. You should consider staying this way forever." "Forever?" I gulped, "You mean never being a boy again?" "Yes honey, forever," He kissed my forehead again. "No one would ever need to know that you used to be a boy. You could be my little girl until you meet a boy and fall in love." "I don't know daddy, I'll think about it, okay?" I asked. "What ever you decide is fine with us Cindy," Mom called as I left the room confused and upset. Why would my parents want me to become a girl permanently, didn't they love the son they had? I was just trying to help out a friend, got involved in a crazy project and now my family thinks I should be a girl. Worse yet, I wasn't sure it was such a bad idea. I mean the clothes are so comfy and feel so nice. I've never been this close to mom before and I did sort of like it when daddy said that I was pretty, I couldn't help myself, I was so upset that I threw myself on my bed and cried my eyes out. There was a gentle knocking on my door a little while later. "Could we talk Cindy?" Mom called through the door. "We didn't mean to upset you honey," She said as she ran a brush through my hair. "Daddy and I had a long talk and he asked me to explain so that he wouldn't hurt you again. He had been so upset with you over the last few years and he didn't know how to reach you. Every time he wanted to do something with you, you shut him out. He couldn't talk to you because you acted so arrogant; always putting other people down and making yourself seem so great. Suddenly he has a daughter, prettier than he ever imagined, and sweeter than he could have hoped for. It's just natural for him to want to keep that sweet girl around, isn't it? And since you are so pretty, he thought it would be a compliment to tell you that you should become a girl permanently." "But mother, it's just an experiment to help John, that's all," I sniffed, "I never wanted to be a girl, I never snuck any of your clothes to wear or anything. Since I'm stuck like this for a while and the clothes do feel so nice, I thought I'd just have some fun. I never expected that you and Daddy would want a daughter instead of a son." "I'm sorry it happened like this too Cindy," Mom dried my eyes with a tissue. "I would have loved having a pretty daughter to do things with and when I saw how pretty you were, I guess I went a little overboard too. Forgive us?" I waited for a few seconds before I threw my arms around her and hugged her. "I can't stay mad at you guys," I told her as we hugged, "I've never felt closer to you than I have since I became a girl and it's kind of fun being daddy's girl. I forgive you but please let me decide on when the experiment will end, okay?" We agreed and mom helped me freshen up so that I could model a few more outfits for her and daddy who was happy that his little girl wasn't mad at him anymore. Just to show him that I forgave him, I wore a pair of low cut jeans and my 'Daddy's Girl' t-shirt as my last outfit. It was the first time I'd ever seen him cry. John stopped by a few days later to see how I was adjusting. I met him at the door wearing my new pink dress, my hair hanging loose past my shoulders, and just a little makeup. "Hi, I'm looking for the Belmont's," he said as I opened the door. "You found us John," I said cheerily, "Come on in, I'll tell mother and daddy that you're here." "Tom?" he asked in a confused tone, "Is that you?" "No silly," I laughed as I held my hands in front of me and rocked on my heels, "I'm Cindy, Tom's little sister. He decided not to come with us." "I see you've met our lovely daughter," Dad said as he came to the door. "She's going to be a heartbreaker, isn't she?" "Oh my God, I don't believe it," John didn't take his eyes off me as he walked into the house. "You are so pretty Cindy, could I take your picture, for my project?" "Okay!" I giggled. "Mother and daddy have been taking lots of pictures of me so I guess it's okay for you to take one too." "This is unreal," He muttered as he fished his camera from his briefcase. "You look so realistic, you even act and sound like a girl." "I've been practicing," I smiled and tossed my head to get hair out of my face. "Pretty good huh?" "You're fantastic, no one will ever believe that you're a guy." "She's not a guy John," Dad quickly corrected. "She's our fourteen year old daughter Cynthia Lynn." "I'll say," John murmured as he snapped pictures of me. "Christ Cindy, you're everything a teenage boy could want." John stayed and had dinner with us so that he could interview me. I had to answer all kinds of question on what it felt like to be treated like a girl - wonderful, how did I feel about wearing girl's clothes - loved them, and did I think I'd stay this way - absolutely not. "This is a blast John, it's so cool to dress up in pretty clothes and stuff but I don't plan on becoming a girl," I said with a smile, "I just have to keep an eye on Mother and Daddy though just to make sure they don't cart me off to get a complete sex change." Mom and daddy just smiled but I thought I saw a flicker in their eyes that said I wasn't all that wrong. What was that look I saw in John's eyes though as he looked at my legs? It couldn't have been the same one I was used to seeing when we checked out girls at the mall, could it? I wrote it off, thanked him for stopping over and promised to keep him up to date on what was happening in my life. School would start in a few weeks and then I'd see what it was like to really be a girl when I had to shower after gym class. Lots of crazy, scary, thoughts would pop into my head when I was alone. I'd be watching TV and suddenly find myself wondering what I'd look like in the outfit an actress wore or what it would be like to be kissed by the leading man in a movie. I found that I was also getting much more interested in fashion and hairstyles but that wasn't the worst of it. "Mother, may I buy a bikini please?" I blurted out one night as I helped with dishes, "I'd like to get a nice tan like some of the girls I see at the mall." Mom never even batted an eye. "As long as it's not too sexy," she warned. "You know your father wouldn't like that." "I promise mother, I saw a really cute one in Sunday's paper, want me to show it to you?" I raced to get the ad and show her the really cute bikini I wanted; black with yellow trim, I just knew I'd look good in it. As I picked up the paper though I realized what I was doing and quickly laid it back down. "Problems?" Mom asked from behind me. "I don't want a bikini mom, not really." I started to cry. "I don't know why I even asked. I couldn't seem to help myself." "Don't cry Cindy," Mom said softly as she hugged me, "You're just feeling what any other girl your age would feel; the need to feel pretty and sexy." "But I'm not a real girl yet I can't stop feeling this way." "Your body's not producing enough male hormones to prevent you from thinking this way dear," she advised. "Once you start taking female hormones you'll feel even more like a girl; you'll want to look even prettier and you'll even enjoy it when boys look at you. I wouldn't be too surprised if you even developed a crush on some cute boy." "How do you know that mother?" I asked, "I mean that's what this whole experiment is for; to try to determine that." "It must be a group of men in charge of the experiment honey," She laughed. "Any woman could have told them what would happen if you gave a boy female hormones; he'd start to think of himself as a girl after a little while. You're just feeling the effects of cutting back on your male hormones; wait until you start taking estrogen." "I'm scared mother," I whimpered. "I don't want to be a girl." "It's only for a little while baby and then you can be a boy again. A boy with a fat bank account and a free college education." I thought about what she said; I was supposed to start taking female hormones in a few weeks, mom had predicted that would be when the changes would really start. I should call the whole thing off before I end up wanting to stay this way. I should call it off but I'm greedy. The money would be there waiting for me; all I had to do was to survive four years as a high school girl. I felt sure that I could now that I knew what to expect. I was getting upset because I hadn't expected the feelings, I told myself. Now that I know what to expect, I'll be okay. "Will you help me mother," I asked in a small voice. "I want to keep going." Mom nodded, "I figured you would Cindy and yes, I'll help. Why don't we start with that bikini?" I smiled, hugged mom and handed her the ad. "What do you think of your little girl now Daddy?" I asked the next day as I modeled my new bikini. "Hot, isn't she?" "Isn't that a little too sexy for a girl your age?" he asked when he recovered his breath. "Not really Daddy, it's not a thong or anything like that." I pouted. It was the prettiest one they had; I felt so pretty wearing it, and I was determined to keep it. Dad stared at me for a little longer then smiled. "Okay, you can keep it. You look so pretty in it that it would be a shame to make you take it back." "Thank you Daddy!" I raced over and gave him a kiss. "You're really sweet, do you know that?" "You're really spoiled, do you know that?" he asked as I made myself comfortable on a lounge chair in the yard. "What would the guys back home think if they could see me now?" I giggled to myself as I applied suntan lotion, "They'd probably wonder who the hot looking jailbait was!" With mom's support I had a great time in the last couple of weeks before school started. I started taking female hormones; bought a few more bikinis, and even made a few girl friends I met while shopping at the mall. For my birthday, instead of the sports car Tom had his eye on, I ended up with pierced ears and a half dozen sets of earrings. It amazed me that not only didn't I mind the earrings; I was thrilled to get such a pretty gift. We were all checking out the same rack of tops when I bumped into one of the girls. "Aren't these great?" I asked, "I've got a pair of jeans at home that will look so good with this one." "Me too," the girl grinned, "And I have a denim skirt that just has to have this top." We compared tops, talked about our favorite outfits and quickly became friends. Lori, my new friend, quickly introduced me to he friends and I was instantly accepted as one of the girls. It was a shame in a way because any one of those girls would have made me go nuts as Tom. I would have taken my time and gone out of my way to get to know them and possibly made a fool out of myself trying. Now, as another girl, we became friends in a minute. Life wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair but it was getting to be a whole lot of fun. My friends and I had a great time shopping and trying on clothes that our parents would never have allowed us to consider. I found a micro-miniskirt that barely covered my butt but showed off my legs in a way that I'm sure would have started any guy drooling. "You look totally hot in that skirt!" one girl giggled as I preened in front of a mirror, "You should buy it." "My mom would kill me and Daddy would have a heart attack if they ever saw me in anything this sexy," I laughed, "But you are right, I do look hot." Another girl couldn't resist a pair of hot pants which, combined with her heels and well developed body for a fourteen year old, should have started my heart pounding. Unfortunately, I guess because my hormones were being blocked, the best I could do was to tell her how great she looked. I needed another good cry. By the time we were done, I had three more skirts, two dresses, a pair of low rider jeans that looked pretty good on my newly developed butt and four new friends. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to do another shopping trip before school started. The only real friend I had as Tom was John so it was sort of a welcome surprise that I was able to pick up new friends so quickly. I felt so good that on my way out I stopped at the makeup counter and picked up a new tube of lip-gloss that I had seen advertised in Teen magazine. Mom had told me that I could wear a little makeup and the color did look really good on me but the real reason I bought it was that I just couldn't resist; when I wore makeup or heels, I felt pretty and it felt so good to be a girl. Makeup and heels were a part of growing up for a girl; they were just some of the things John had mentioned that were a rite of passage if you were a girl. You went from patent leather Mary-Jane's to heels that made you feel more like a grown up lady, wearing makeup did the same thing, it set me apart from the younger girls, the little kids. I was more of a grownup; not a little girl, but a younger version of mom - a woman. Sure I know it was silly to think of myself as becoming a woman but since I started wearing dresses and looking like a girl, I started to identify with Mom. I couldn't identify and pattern myself after dad the way I once did; I was supposed to become a young woman so patterning myself after a man wouldn't teach me what I needed to know. Only mom, with her fashion sense, her makeup skills, and her femininity could teach me what I needed to know to be the girl I had to be. I got a call from Ann, one of the girls I met at the mall, a few days later inviting me to a sleepover at her house. We'd have a lot of fun, she promised, watching movies, doing each other's hair and nails, and seeing who could stay up the latest. Mom said it was okay to go so she helped me pack up my nightgown, some makeup, curlers, and a couple of outfits in case we went shopping and dropped me off at Ann's house. I'd never even been to a sleepover as Tom so I wasn't sure what to expect but I had so much fun it was totally unreal! As soon as I got there we stashed all my junk in Ann's closet and watched three movies in a row. Each had one thing in common, they all had actors who were considered to be total hunks! I didn't want to stand out from the group so I joined with the other girls 'oohing' and 'ahhing' whenever a scene came up where the actor took off his shirt or did something they thought was sexy. Before long I started getting more involved in the show and noticed that I found the guys cute. I didn't have to pretend that I was interested in those hunks; they really were making me hot! During the second movie, a girl named Kelly came over and started brushing out my hair. "Wanna try a different style? Something sexy?" she asked as she brushed. "Yeah," I nodded enthusiastically. "Make me hot!" I ended up with my hair piled on top of head with curly strands framing my face. "It's real pretty but there's something missing," I mused as I examined my new hairdo. "Makeup!" the other girls called out, "You need to get all prettied up for a hot date!" My friends waving sponges, eyelash curlers, and brushes besieged me and proceeded to make me over into what they called a 'Real Foxy Lady'. When they were done, I had to admit that they had done a great job; I didn't look like fourteen anymore! "Wouldn't it be like totally cool to put on one of my Mom's old dresses and stuff to see how foxy you can really look?" Ann asked hopefully. "I couldn't possibly look any prettier than this," I said longingly as I gazed at the beautiful girl in the mirror. While I was busy admiring myself and soaking up the compliments of my girlfriends, Ann had rushed off to gather a few clothes. "Get undressed," she ordered as she dumped a pile of clothes on the floor. "It's time to make Cindy into Cinderella!" I didn't need to be asked twice, I couldn't wait to be turned into Cinderella! I stepped out of my nightgown and was handed something that Ann called a garter belt. "It's for when you want to be sexy and wear nylons instead of pantyhose," Another girl told me, "My sister says it drives her husband crazy when she wears one." They showed me how to put it on, pull the straps through my panties, and attach nylons to it. "These are so nice," I groaned happily as I rolled the nylons up my legs. "I wish my pantyhose felt like these, I'd never take them off." "Here, put this on next," Ann said as she handed me a black bra with oodles of lace on it. The cups on the bra were only about half the size of the ones on my bra and they seemed so much bigger until Ann reached in and inserted a couple of pads between the bottom of my breasts and the bra. Suddenly the extra space was taken up by my breasts, which were pushed up and out, making them seem positively enormous. "What size is this?" I asked as I ran my fingers along the deliciously soft satin and lace cups. "You're a thirty six C cup now," Ann tittered, "How's it feel to be a grown up lady with big boobs?" "I love it!" I laughed, "I can't believe it but I love it." The strange thing was that I did love looking like a grown woman. It made me feel so special to look like my mother and I simply loved the feeling I got when I saw myself in the mirror. My lingerie was finished off with a black full slip that felt so silky as it slid over my head and then it was time for my dress - a black lace dress that ended at least four inches above my knees. The outer part of the dress was all black lace covering a silky inner shell. The hem extended a few inches past the shell giving a sexy glimpse of black lace against my nylon- clad legs. "This is how I'd look if I let things continue after high school," I thought to myself. I took a good hard look at the lady I had become; it was definitely something to think about. Ann and the others gathered around me to see how I'd react. I threw my arms around them and we all broke into a giggling fit. We picked another girl and did her up in the same outfit, then another and another until we all had a chance to be foxy ladies. We had a great time that night, doing each other's hair and nails, trying on makeup and some other outfits. I can't remember exactly what I dreamed about that night but I remember feeling really good when I woke up. I had a lot of fun with my new friends and learned even more about being a girl from them. Sure, mom could teach me a lot but she didn't know what it was like to be a girl my age, she was an old lady in my eyes and so it was better to learn from my friends. They taught me all kinds of neat stuff like who the most popular guys were at my new school, which teachers were the hardest, and what the latest styles were. Yeah, mom gave me magazines on fashion but they didn't show what girls in my area were wearing; girls in my area considered some of the stuff in the magazines totally yucky and I couldn't chance making a mistake and wearing them. Of course fashion didn't seem to matter much to my new school. You guessed right, after a summer of learning all about the hottest looks for teenage girls, I was stuck wearing a uniform! My new school outfit wouldn't be a totally hot pair of low rider jeans and a cropped top; it wouldn't even be a cute miniskirt and a baby tee. No, I was stuck wearing an ugly looking blue skirt and white blouse. I dressed it up as best I could with satin panties and bras. I was amazed to find that I was struggling with my courses at school. My grades weren't too bad the last time I was a freshman but either they changed the courses or I forgot an awful lot! Of course, when I was there the first time there were eight classes a day, now there were only four but they were twice as long making it tough to pay attention. As time passed I got used to the longer classes but then another distraction popped up - boys! Yeah, that's right, boys. It seems that after a few months of female hormones my formerly practical brain was somehow stolen and replaced with the brain of a ditzy, boy crazy, fourteen year old girl! Boys were everywhere much to my delight; big boys, little boys, all kinds of boys, and all just so damned cute! I tried to concentrate on other things but my attention kept drifting back to cute boys. Every night I swore I'd stop but the next day I'd see a boy that I thought was cute and bingo - I'd start flirting with him! My flirting was harmless but it drove me crazy. I didn't want to bother yet I couldn't seem to stop myself from staring until I got their attention, then smiling at them. I could have written a book from all of the words in the notes I passed to my girlfriends. It wouldn't have much of a plot, just things like 'He's so dreamy, 'Isn't he a doll', and 'What a hunk!' How was I supposed to go back to being a guy when I couldn't resist flirting with fourteen-year-old guys who thought I was pretty? When I found myself with my back to the wall talking to some cute guy, I didn't care! No one ever thought much of me as a boy but suddenly I was popular and I adored it! School dances became an absolute must for me, I begged and cajoled Mom and Daddy to take me to every single one fearful that one of the cute guys from school would want to dance with me and I wouldn't be there. I took a lot of care dressing for the dances; sometimes I wore my tight jeans, other times I'd wear a dress or a cute skirt and top, but I always made sure that everything went together just right so that I'd look my best. I wanted to be the perfect bait to snare unsuspecting boys! The only problem with my plan for conquering the males of my freshman class turned out to be the males themselves! They were still shy and wanted to hang out together at the dances, leaving me to dance with my girlfriends. At least I got the satisfaction of knowing from their furtive glances and whispers that they thought I was pretty. If I could only get them to dance with me, then maybe I could even get a kiss or two from one. Yep, that's right, I wanted to be kissed by a boy. I told you that my new hormones were making me boy crazy and I wasn't kidding. My grades were turning out worse than before because I couldn't seem to concentrate when a cute boy was nearby. John seemed pretty amused by my problems, which really bothered me. He found it awfully funny that his buddy, an eighteen-year-old guy masquerading as a fourteen-year-old girl had become boy crazy! We talked about it often while I was going through that period and I wanted to smack him silly for laughing while I struggled through my grades dropping off and the irresistible urges I had to flirt with boys. I probably would have smacked him too except I kept thinking about how cute he was and wondering if he thought I was pretty. Funny huh? I'm pretending to be a teenybopper to help my buddy and I end up getting a huge crush on him! Well, trust me, I wasn't nearly as amused as John was! There were many times when he came to visit that I hoped he'd ask me for a date or at least tell me how pretty I looked. I always wore my best-looking outfits when he visited, I fixed my hair into different styles to attract his attention, and thank heavens daddy didn't notice but I even wore a little more makeup and even perfume for John. It was all a waste though cause John just treated me like his old buddy, laughing and joking about things we did in the past. That's how he treated me when we first started the experiment but then he changed, and not for the better either. After about six months of seeing me in dresses or sometimes a pair of jeans and one of my Backstreet Boys tee shirts, (yeah, I thought they were so hot!), he actually started to treat me like a little girl! I could tell by the way he looked at me, and the way he talked that he was forgetting that I was his old buddy, now it was more like I was his buddy's little sister. If he was going to think of me as a girl why in the heck couldn't he at least think of me as a pretty girl? We were really the same age so I just couldn't think of any good reason for him not asking me for a date. I would have gladly traded my tee shirts and jeans for an evening gown and heels if only he would have asked. My parents finally got tired of my being boy crazy and had the doctor adjust my prescription for hormones to make me more stable. That bummed me out because with stability came a reduction in my rate of development; I wanted to look totally hot and sexy but now I'd have to settle for just being cute. My dreams of having to wear a thirty-four C cup bra went out the window when my hormones got cut back. I'd probably be a senior before I got decent boobs. Without nice boobs, how would I get a boy's attention? The doctor finally got my hormone level set properly by the end of my freshman year. I still got a tingling feeling whenever I looked at a really cute guy but it was a whole lot easier to concentrate in school, which helped my grades and kept me from having to be a freshman for the third time in my life. I guess it's also good that I still enjoyed being Daddy's girl, even if I wasn't sure why. Daddy seemed happy, mom was happy, so why worry, right? Even though I was a little upset at first about my breast development I was happy that I no longer felt like throwing John down and smothering him with kisses every time we talked. After all I was going to be his buddy again when this silly experiment was over and I didn't want to have to deal with memories of John holding and kissing me while I sat in his lap. No, it would be tough enough to forget the times I sat there in a pretty dress, flirting with my best friend, and hoping he'd think of me as an attractive girl. Of course just because Daddy didn't notice what I was up to doesn't mean I got away with it. No, good old eagle-eye mom had taken everything in and wasn't about to let me forget about it. "That was some performance you put on this afternoon," she joked one evening after John had left. "That's a new dress you're wearing, you're makeup's perfect, and I thought I smelled a little bit of my Chanel perfume." "I just thought that since we were having company I'd dress up a little bit," I said as innocently as I could manage while trying not to choke. How had she noticed? "You didn't wear that much makeup the last time your father took us out to dinner," she said with a knowing smile. "If I didn't know better I'd swear I was watching a girl who was very interested in attracting a certain boy." "I thought I was being pretty subtle." "You'll get used to it," Mom laughed, "The longer you stay as a girl, the easier it will be to tell when another girl is setting her sights on a boy." "Okay, you're right," I admitted, "I'm interested in John. I shouldn't be, I don't know why I am, but I can't stop thinking about what a sweetie he'd be. He seems interested in me and we are the same age, do you think he'd ask me out?" "You're thinking with your heart instead of your head Cindy," Mom warned. "It's a common problem for girls your age. Let's look at this rationally; the female hormones you're taking are causing your interest in John, if not for them you'd never give a thought to how cute he is. He's only interested in you for his project, nothing else. He thinks of you as Tom, his friend who's helping him out by pretending to be a girl, not a as a pretty girl. Even if you really were a girl, you're too young for him, physically and emotionally you're a fourteen-year-old girl and have nothing in common with a guy like John. Even if he started to think of you as a girl, he'd never be interested." I sat quietly and listened to what mom was telling me but it didn't make sense; I was sure that I loved John and that he could love me too if we only had a chance. Finally, I couldn't take anymore and broke into tears. "But I love him Mom, and I'm sure he'd love me if he only really knew me as Cindy and forgot about Tom. I can tell that he's starting to think of me as a girl, I just need more time, that's all." "I'll make you a deal honey," Mom dried my tears, "If in four years you still want to be Cindy and you're still interested in John, I'll help make you so beautiful and irresistible that he'll beg you to marry him." All the clouds that darkened my world suddenly vanished and the sun was shining. "Oh thank you mom," I cried, "I'm sure that I'll want to stay as Cindy and that would be the most wonderful gift." "Good, then it's settled. No more throwing yourself at John until you're eighteen. Stick with boys your own age until then." We hugged to seal our agreement. That's when my parents had the doctor lower the dosage of my hormones. I felt a lot better once my hormones were controlled; boys were still cute thank God, but I realized that there was more to life than a cute guy. Like shopping for example! My girlfriends and I just loved hitting the malls every Saturday to check out the sales. Sometimes we bought a few new outfits but most of the time we just tried on different things and checked out the cute guys who were checking us out. That was what made shopping so cool, we could buy a really hot looking outfit and test it out on the guys in the mall before wearing it to a dance. After all, if the guys at the mall didn't like the way we looked in something we weren't going to waste time wearing it to a dance. No way. We'd return the outfit before the ink could dry on our receipts. The guys may have been too shy at the dances but when they got together at the mall they didn't hesitate to let a girl know if she was hot or not! The way boys reacted to me took a lot of getting used to at first; I felt real self conscious in a skirt or dress knowing that boys were watching me and remembering how much I used to enjoy seeing girls dressed up. Mom and I had a long talk during which she explained to me that having a boy check me out wasn't a bad thing; he was looking at me because I made him feel good. She reminded me of how I used to feel when I saw a pretty girl; that was exactly what boys thought of me now. Looking at me was just their way of telling me that I was very pretty and there was certainly nothing wrong with that. From then on whenever I noticed a boy looking at me I'd look back at him and smile. Some were so shy that they'd quickly turn their heads but once in a while a guy would come over and we'd start talking. I made friends with some really cute guys that way which came in handy at dances when other boys were too shy to ask me to dance. The hormones and Mom combined to make me start to feel really comfortable as a girl and I really started to enjoy dressing up and looking pretty. I had a tough time remembering that I was an eighteen year old guy, being a fourteen year old girl was way more fun! I learned a lot in my freshman year; by the end I could put together an outfit as well as any other girl, I knew more about makeup and hair care than I ever dreamed possible, and I guess most importantly, I learned emotions were going to be a big part of my life if I continued to live as a girl. I was one of those guys who had always laughed about girls being ruled by their emotions and it wasn't an easy thing for me to admit that my emotions had actually led me to think that I was in love with John and could convince him to love me. In a matter of months I had been willing to forget all about ever being a boy again; if Mom and Dad hadn't intervened I would have made a fool out of myself by and pledged my undying love to another guy. Yeah, it had been a very strange year but I managed to survive and make a nice chunk of change too. I'd just have to be a little careful but I was sure I could do another three years without any problem. John was thrilled when I told him that I planned to continue. "That's wonderful Cindy, I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate your help," he told me as though talking to a stranger. "I'll be glad when it's over though, sometimes I feel like I'm fitting in too well, you know?" John got the strangest look on his face. He seemed confused for a few seconds. "Fitting in too well?" All of a sudden a look of recognition swept across his face. "Oh damn," he swore. "I'm really sorry, for a second I forgot who you were." "Don't ever do that!" I nearly screamed while breaking into tears. "It's bad enough that my parents have pretty much written Tom off, I don't want you forgetting about me too." John reached over and took my hand making me feel strangely at ease. "Don't cry Cindy," he said tenderly, "your parents can't help themselves; you're such a sweet girl." I stared at him and began to sob. "Ooops, wrong thing to say. Sorry," he quickly apologized. "You're forgiven," I sniffled, "But do you see what I mean? You and my parents aren't the only ones who forget that I'm a guy; so