SRU: The Whistle Of Change free porn video

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SRU: Whistle of Change By Larahose Jimmy Davey was 5'9 1/2" tall and weighed about 175 lbs. He was a 24-year-old college graduate finally on his own after working the last couple years to save money while living at home with his parents. Jimmy was finally enjoying the freedom of wearing female clothing while relaxing at home. You see he has been a life-long crossdresser. Jimmy was very dissatisfied with the drudgery of his male life. He often dreamed of going out in public dressed in his feminine finery but his masculine features limited his options. He felt that he'd never pass in public. So he lived a fantasy that someday he'd know what it felt like to be woman with all the best equipment. He often fantasized that he could get rid of his dick and get a pussy. He thought that he could always dream. Little did he know! While on a shopping trip to the mall Jimmy stumbled onto a store he'd never seen before. It looked like one of those storefronts from the movies. You know one of those that might appear on the Munsters or something. The store's name was "Spells R Us". As he opened the door a little bell chimed warning the proprietor of his presence. Jimmy looked around feeling as though he'd just stepped into Transylvania or something when an old man appeared behind the counter. He was very old with a long white beard. He wore a tattered old navy blue robe with faded stars on it. Jimmy couldn't imagine what kind of store this was but was startled that the old man greeted him with, "Hello Jimmy. I've been waiting for you." "How do you know my name?" Jimmy asked. "I know all about you Jimmy and I know what you've come for," answered the old man. "How do you know anything about me or what I've come for when I don't even know where I am?" said Jimmy. "You're tired of your humdrum life and your ready for a change right?" asked the old man. "Yes," said Jimmy. "But..." "I can help you my boy," confirmed the old man. Jimmy was a bit baffled but listened as the old man explained that he was a wizard and that his store carried products be they amulets, medallions, or potions, gems, spells, pills, or lotions. All designed to help the customer achieve their ultimate dream or fantasy. "In your case my boy I'll help turn you into that woman you've dreamed of being," claimed the wizard. "Sure," said Jimmy sarcastically. "A non-believer huh?" replied the old man. "That's impossible," replied Jimmy. "Believe me young man. I have just the item for you. It's called the "Whistle of Change," said the old man. "How can a whistle change me into a woman?" asked Jimmy. As the wizard explained, "The whistle can change any man into a woman. A real woman! The catch is that the new woman cannot be perfect. The reasoning is that there is no such thing as a perfect woman. Hence the whistle was designed to allow the user to be a woman; one that's almost complete." Here are the directions on how to use the "Whistle of Change": Important: The person blowing the whistle is the only person who can be changed. Originally designed for male to female transformations but effective on female to male changes as well. Directions would work in reverse for women. One toot makes the most dramatic change. It attacks the user's genitalia. With one toot the user's penis and scrotum will dissolve (The user can pull them off immediately after the first toot or wait up to 15 minutes for them to melt away). A smooth flat surface will remain. From this stage a vagina is formed by repeating the one toot. It takes 15 minutes for the fully formed vagina to be complete. Two toots will shape the body (See Guidelines below). Height and weight are slowly adjusted while legs and feet become proportionate, hips will expand, the butt will become round, the waist will become more feminine, arms will lose muscle tone, and shoulders will narrow. Again this process takes up to 15 minutes. Three toots would begin the growth of breasts. Within 15 minutes the breasts will grow to a B cup. Breast cups can be increased by one size by repeating the process (Three toots). Cup size is unlimited. Four toots will create magnificently smooth skin. All body and facial hair would fall off and be replaced by smooth, supple and soft feminine skin. Once again this process takes up to 15 minutes. Five toots will create a beautiful ultra-feminine face. It will be complete with dimples, high cheek bones, and gorgeous skin. The new face will have naturally long lashes and pouty lips. Again 15 minutes will complete this process. Six toots will augment hair. The user will grow long luxurious hair. The hair will be full of body and fall to the middle of the back. Once again up to 15 minutes is required for this process. Guidelines: During the automatic processes (Body shaping and hair color/texture) your genes are analyzed and the average height, weight, and hair color of the females in your family tree determine your appearance. If the women in your family tend to be heavy then the user most likely will be portly. Height is the same way. Nothing can be done about that it's just nature. Cautions: All six steps cannot be done on the same transformation. If all six steps are attempted then the last step taken will work in reverse. The transformation process can be done in any sequence. It does not have to be done in sequential order. However; the user has to choose which step to omit or pay the consequences. Warning:The "Whistle of Change" transformation process is NOT reversible. When the wizard finished his sales pitch Jimmy's first question was, "How much does the whistle cost?" "Only 100 dollars," replied the old man. Jimmy thought about it a minute and considered that he most likely was throwing away the $100 bucks. He considered it for just a moment and realized that a $100 gamble was well worth the opportunity no matter how remote the chances were that it would do what the old man claimed. He told the old man, "I'll take it!" The old man warned. "Be sure to read the instructions completely before beginning the transformation. One thing I'll tell you now is that all changes are final. Once changes are made they are not reversible." Jimmy paid for his whistle and hurried home. When Jimmy arrived home he was of course very skeptical of his new purchase. He wasn't sure if it would do what the old man claimed but he was anxious to try it. He pulled out the instructions and began to read them. After skimming through the instructions he couldn't help but get excited. His dick hardened drawing his attention away from the directions. His dick was of average size and girth (about 6" long) but it was a great source of frustration for Jimmy as he often wished it wasn't there at all. He prayed his dreams would soon be answered. He went into the bathroom and stripped off all his clothes. He brought the whistle to his lips. He hesitated for a moment with the whistle in his mouth then blew once. The whistle let out a very quiet but melodious tone. Jimmy reached down to his dick and felt it. It felt odd like it didn't belong to him. While holding it he pulled ever so slightly and it came off in his hand. He was flabbergasted as he stood there holding his own dick. He laid it on the counter (Still hard). Then he reached down below his balls and cupped them with the palm of his hand. They felt like soft clay in his hand. He gently pulled up on them as they released from his body. He couldn't believe he was standing there holding his balls. They slowly appeared to turn to a jello-like substance. Then they melted in his hand dripping between his fingers as if they were liquid. Unbelievably to Jimmy his pubic area was now completely smooth and totally hairless. A stunned Jimmy sat down on the closed toilet and gazed at his dick lying there on the counter. It was beginning to melt just as his balls had. In moments there was a puddle of fluid on the counter where his dick had been and the liquid began to run off the counter and down the vanity doors onto the floor. After regaining his composure Jimmy was thrilled that what he considered his biggest nemesis was now gone and his future as a woman looked to be fulfilled. Jimmy didn't know what to do next. He wasn't sure if he wanted his vagina or breasts next. He thought about it a bit and decided that the next step should be to reshape his body. His reasoning was that his new breasts and vagina would be better served placed on a more feminine body. Jimmy thought about his female relatives. Most were of average size but both his grandmothers were stout women. His mother and sister were fairly average but both were big boned. He didn't know what to expect but he thought being a woman of any size beat being an unhappy young man forever. So he put the whistle to his lips and blew twice. Again the soft melodious tones came out and he began to immediately feel strange. His body began to tingle. He closed his eyes as he began to shrink in height. He could feel his body go numb. He fell to the floor in a dead faint. A few minutes later he came to. He tried to stand but felt very off-balance. He felt a strange center of gravity that felt like it was below his waist. He approached the full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. He couldn't believe the changes. He appeared to be 4-5 inches shorter. He estimated that he was about 5'4" while he wasn't thin by any means he wasn't fat either. He definitely had a bigger caboose than he'd hoped but realized his tits had yet to be added. Without them his body looked very odd. His ass and hips in particular looked extra wide. He realized he had the same build as grandma Davey. He pulled out the scale and stood on it waiting for it to stop. It read 130 lbs. Next Jimmy knew exactly what he wanted. He had to rid his new body of his male skin and all the hair that went with it. He brought the whistle to his lips again and blew 4 times. Immediately he could feel changes in his skin. While he enjoys shaving his body during the fall and winter months he had let it all grow since it was now May. Over the next few minutes he watched as all that new body hair began falling to the floor. Where the hair feel out smooth supple skin remained. Soon the floor below him was solid brown from all the fallen hair. He was so pleased with the results. He now felt he had a great foundation to add the important parts he was dying to add. His new vagina and breasts! Jimmy gleefully evaluated his body. He was so pleased with the results so far. He was now ready to add his breasts. Again Jimmy put the whistle to his lips and this time he blew three times. Almost instantly he felt a weight begin to grow on his chest. He was thrilled beyond belief as he watched the two mounds begin to grow. He stared at his reflection in the mirror as they slowly grew to a B cup just as the instructions had said. As the 15 minutes passed he decided that he wanted them larger. Again he blew his whistle and watched as they began to grow again. As his breasts reached the C cup size he took a good look at his proportions. They looked to balance out his appearance pretty well. However; considering he was always a boob man Jimmy figured one more size couldn't hurt so once again Jimmy blew his whistle three times. Fifteen minutes later he had the most beautiful D cup tits he could ever have imagined. He couldn't believe that he had such wonderfully large tits. They had to weigh 5 lbs. apiece. His delight continued as he began to move around. The sensation of his large tits bounding about almost sent him into another orgasm. His realization of the necessity for a bra quickly dawned on him. He was anxious to go further but he thought he should read the directions more carefully before proceeding. He recalled that the old man had warned him to read the instructions completely before beginning the process. In his haste to get started he failed to read all the details. At least he'd done no harm so far. Although the old man had told him about the whistle's limitations Jimmy was still somewhat disappointed about not being able to completely transform. He'd come so far and loved the changes. He listed out all the changes he'd made so far and determined what possibilities remained. He had yet to add his vagina, feminize his face, and get his long feminine hair. He realized that he had to add the vagina next. He couldn't possibly consider himself a full-fledged woman without that. He picked up the whistle and blew it once. The beautiful tone felt extra special this time as he knew that he'd finally have his ultimate dream: a pussy of his very own! The smooth flat surface between his legs slowly started to open up. A diagonal slit formed. He could suddenly feel a dampness there he'd never felt. The clitoris began to protrude slightly and fleshy flaps stuck out around his newly formed orifice. His new vagina completely formed within 15 minutes. Jimmy was stunned as he found that just having it created an all-new sensation he'd never imagined. He could hardly believe how wet it felt. He stuck his hands down to inspect it and quickly found himself masturbating himself (or herself now). He played with his clit with one hand while penetrating himself with the other. In only moments Jimmy was gasping for breath as he climaxed for the first time as woman. He couldn't believe the pleasure he experienced. He thought about how it would feel to orgasm like this the rest of his life. Jimmy now had to choose either the feminine face or long luxurious hair. His hair was fairly short but would grow long. However it was thinning. On the other hand his masculine facial features were a bit obvious. He considered which feature he could least live without in his situation so he chose to modify his face to the ultra-feminine option available. He once again put the whistle to his lips and blew 5 times. He stood before the mirror and watched all the shifts and bulges as a beautiful feminine face appeared. He had; as the directions promised, high cheekbones and the most beautiful eyelashes he'd ever seen. He was thrilled again! He was beautiful! He stood back and admired himself in the mirror. He was now a woman. He thought how there was no turning back. He'd be spending every minute for the rest of his life as a woman. The name Jimmy won't do anymore so I'll go by my fem name of Jamie from now on. The thought finally occurred to him that he'd have to explain how this happened to his family. "Boy," he thought; "I'll have to come up with some story!" Jamie was extremely happy with herself except for her hair. She knew that the whistle could allow her to grow long luxurious hair but wondered about the consequences in attempting to go all the way. The directions warned that all 6 steps could not be performed on the same transformation. "What consequences could I pay?" she thought. I want everything now! I've come this far. I'm going to go for it. Jamie picked up the whistle and confidently blew it the 6 times needed to get her new crowning glory. Suddenly she felt her scalp begin to tingle and hair started cascading over her shoulders and down her back. It was a beautiful auburn color. She reached up and savored the thickness and texture. It slowly continued to grow for the next few minutes. It was lovely. Jamie was breathless. All of a sudden something didn't feel right. The tingling quit and was replaced with a severe burning sensation on her scalp. Jamie could hardly stand it and reached up to try to protect her now burning scalp. She brushed through her hair with her hand and came away with a huge hand full of it. She ran her hand through it again and another massive chunk of hair came off. She didn't understand it but by pulling the hair off it seemed to ease the burning. She couldn't help herself and frantically kept pulling her hair until it was all gone. During the process it pulled out with ease. It was as if it was never even attached. Jamie finally got rid of the burning but paid for it by sacrificing every hair on her head. She was afraid to look in the mirror but knew she'd see what she feared most. She peered into the mirror. She saw that she was now totally bald. Her head showed no sign that a hair had ever existed on it. There was no shadow or stubble anywhere. Her head glistened with the glare of the bathroom light. She began to cry as she realized that she paid the consequences for her greed. Now she was bald and it appeared that it was forever. Exactly as the instructions had suggested she wanted long luxurious hair and ended up bald. The opposite did happen! Jamie had a good cry. She was of course disappointed to be bald but realized that all of her dreams still came true. She could live without her hair. After all there are such things as wigs (Jimmy actually owned a couple) and there really are such things as bald women in society. Some even chose to shave their heads these days. At least she was truly a woman now in every other way. Jamie had a lot of explaining and planning to do but savored HER new life. She couldn't wait to live it! Thanks, Larahose

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SRU Made for Each Other

SRU: MADE FOR EACH OTHER by Roy Del Frink Leland Welker was strolling through the mall one day when he saw a strange sight. It was an old-fashioned wooden shop called "Spells R Us". He was bored, so he decided to enter on a whim. Leland couldn't believe all the junk in there, and didn't understand what he would do in a place like this. Just then he noticed a short old man behind the counter. He looked at least eighty years old, and he wore an old crimson bathrobe. He asked the...

2 years ago
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SRU The Contract

Spells-R-Us & The Contract by Bad Irving Standard disclaimer, if under 18 do not read this tale. Actually this disclaimer is just a chance to give some credit, where credit is due. The story "The Reviewer from Hell" by Happyguy was the starting idea for the creation of this story. It is with Happyguy's permission that I take his concept and proceed with my own story. The characters in this story are not a carry over from Happyguy's tale, but, the Spells-R-Us (SRU) characters...

4 years ago
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SRU The Retrun fo the Love Doll

SRU: The Return of the Love Doll By Ran Dandel The Riding Club of the University was one of its most exclusive organizations. It was like a non-resident fraternity. The members gathered there to meet and socialize, and to build their skills at networking. The exclusivity was guaranteed because only the wealthiest students in good standing in their respective cities' Society could become members. Members who graduated were destined to wield great power in whatever ...

1 year ago
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SRU The Nightlight

Permission is granted to post to the TG-fiction list, archive, and Fictionmania site and to the atEROS site. Personal copies for non-commercial use permitted. Anyone else who wants to archive this on a free access website or ftp site, just send me an email telling me that you did so and the url or ftp address. Anyone who wants to archive this on a for-pay site, don't. Member Net Authors and Creators Union - NACU. Authors and creators welcome, email [email protected] for more...

3 years ago
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SRU The Thin Line of Love

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of my previous SRU story entitled "The Love Hate Rule". If you haven't read that, it may help before you read this one, but it is not necessary. This story is pretty much free standing. I hope you enjoy it as much as it's predecessor. ----------------- SRU: The Thin Line of Love By Crunch Andrea Clark had just stepped out of the shower. It was another lost bout of trying fight off the sexual urges she felt. It...

2 years ago
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SRU The Good Wifes Guide

SRU: The Good Wifes Guide. by Darkside --------------------------- This contains actual extracts from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60s. It did the rounds at work a while ago and it just begged to have a story written around it. This is my one and only sojourn into the 'Spell R Us' universe. So I hope you all like it. As an experiment, I've deliberately left much to the imagination. This is more of a covert TG story than most. At was also an experiment in that I...

4 years ago
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SRU The Way of the Manga

SRU: The Way of the Manga By Melissa Virus Copyright 2000 Matt and Jason headed into the mall. Every Tuesday they went to Cedar Oaks Mall to pick up the latest issues of their favorite comics at Skanky's Comic and Video; today was especially exciting because a Class of Ninja High School video Jason had special-ordered was supposed to be coming in. Matt made fun of him. "You know that Ninja High shit's American, right? That's not real. The guy who makes it is named fuckin' Ben," he...

2 years ago
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SRU The Pardon

A version of this story appeared on Big Closet and on Sapphire's TG Fiction List. It may be added to other free archives as long as it does not violate Bill Hart's strictures on the use of his characters or my own notice at the bottom of the story. SRU: The Pardon By Lainie Lee The shabbily dressed man hurrying through the holiday shopping crowd slipped into the first door he came to. Hal David figured it must be a side corridor into service areas of the mall where he could hide...

4 years ago
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SRU The Shop Keeper

Author's note: I've always liked the SRU stories. This is my contribution. I hope you like it. LS SRU - The Shop Keeper By Lord Stormbringer "Damn, look at all that lost business," Tony said as he looked out of his storefront in the mall. Shoppers were bumping into each other in their hurry past his clothing store. He turned around and surveyed the few women shoppers comparing clothes. He went into the office at the back with the two-way glass window. Tom was reading a girly...

3 years ago
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SRU A Bullies Time to Pay the Fiddler

SRU- A Bullies Time to Pay the Fiddler By Jennifer Allison "Mrs. O'Leary your son Dean is incorrigible." "What has he done now?" "What hasn't he done. The only thing I know for sure he hasn't done is sell drugs." "Tell me more." "Do you know he is the school's loan shark?" "I didn't know. Where does he get the money?" "By being a bully and taking it from the kids that can't stop him from taking it." "You see I am single mom trying to raise Dean and his sister...

4 years ago
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SRU The Big Mall

SRU: The Big Mall Edmonton isnt the first place you think of when you think "tourist destination" But there is one site that brings people from all over the world to see it - The Big Mall. Its real name is West Edmonton Mall, but nobody calls it that. Its always just been - The Big Mall. At one time, it was the biggest in the world, and I think its still in the top three. I'm not sure if words do it justice, but the place is ... HUGE. It has a rollercoaster, an enormous wave pool, ...

2 years ago
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SRU Spare Key

Permission to post to TSA list, archive, and website. Permission to post to TG-fiction list, archive, and Fictomania site. Personal copies for non commercial use permitted. Anyone else who wants to archive this on a free access website or ftp site, just send me an email telling me that you did so and the url or ftp address. Anyone who wants to archive this on a for-pay site, don't. Member Net Authors and Creators Union - NACU. Authors and creators welcome, email [email protected]...

2 years ago
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SRU Nightlight

Permission is granted to post to the TG-fiction list, archive, and Fictionmania site and to the atEROS site. Personal copies for non-commercial use permitted. Anyone else who wants to archive this on a free access website or ftp site, just send me an email telling me that you did so and the url or ftp address. Anyone who wants to archive this on a for-pay site, don't. Member Net Authors and Creators Union - NACU. Authors and creators welcome, email [email protected] for more...

3 years ago
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SRU Nicely Backfired

SRU: Nicely Backfired: by Donna-Allyson McCleod (my first attempt at short SRU story) It had all started a month earlier when Shirley Davis had moved into Don's neighborhood along with her older sister Valerie and their estranged mother Sherry. Don Wallace was a senior at St. Mary's Boy's High School at the time. Shirley Davis had immediately caught Don's eye on her first day at the school. Shirley was sixteen and had transferred into the adjoining St. Mary's School for Girls as a...

1 year ago
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SRU An Error in Application

Warning: This story contains adult material. SRU: An Error in Application by Fringold Sixfingers Lyle Green had heard several rumors about the 'Spells R Us' shop in the mall. Sense he did not believe in magic, he took the stories as tells of fancy. There was one rumor he was not about to ignore. The best place to buy computer hardware was SRU. Lyle could use an upgrade to keep him competitive. Soon he was outside the shop. Not at all what he was expecting. The store looked more...

3 years ago
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SRUAF A Wizards Altered Fate

Author's Notes by Bill Hart This was initially intended to be the second posting of the collaborative crossover set in the 'Spells R Us' and 'Altered Fates' universes written by myself and Raven. However, after finally making contact with Raven, we decided my story could be posted first, with his story becoming a prequel of sorts, instead of the lead in. Before I do anything else I would like...

3 years ago
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SRU Well Dressed

SRU: Well Dressed By Bashful Jack Edward Wilson was a relatively happy man. He had a good job and a wonderful wife. They had not been blessed with children yet but that was just a matter of time, he was sure. Jack really enjoyed his job, it was something he liked doing and he was good at it. He worked for a good company that treated it's employees well. You'd think he had the perfect life and you'd be right, except for one little thing. Jack wished he was a...

3 years ago
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SRU Hunting Season

Note: This is rather tame compared to the other SRU stories and I took a few liberties with this one. I hope that I don't piss anyone off with it. There is no sex on this one so if that is a deciding factor for you, pass this one by. Please let me know what you think of this story, whether you like or dislike it. I have other stories that I'm working on and hopefully will post in the future. This story may be posted to any sight that doesn't charge a fee. All others must get my...

3 years ago
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SRU Pantyhose

SRU: PANTYHOSE BY PAUL G. JUTRAS "Why can't I wear clothes like that." Was the thought that often ran through Chris's mind. Chris was a pleasant twenty-two year old. Anyone who looked at him would think he was a normal boy checking out girls. What he was looking at was the clothes they had on. Clothes he wish he could have on. His mother's side of the family ran a night club and during the early evening he listened to the music and wondered what it would be like to feel silk...

2 years ago
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SRU Christmas Miracles

SRU: Christmas Miracles Copyright (c) 1999 by Chilli TNG --------------------------------------- Notes: The Spells 'R' Us Universe was created by Bill Hart; any characters from that universe that I've borrowed are ultimately his and I thank him for opening this universe to everyone. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone living, dead, or undead is totally coincidental. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get a life. Comments and thoughtful...

3 years ago
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SRU Half and Half

SRU: HALF AND HALF By Roy Del Frink A disgruntled lady walked up to the counter, holding a paper bag in her arm. "Listen here, buddy," she said to the old man behind the counter, "you sold me a potion that would turn my husband into the next thing I said. I said, 'Change my husband into a Chippendale dancer,' and look what happened!" She placed the bag on the counter, and opened it. The lady pulled out two chipmunks, dressed in tiny top hats, tuxes, and canes. One had a...

2 years ago
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SRU Ultimate Sacrifice

Note: This Story contains an exceptionally grisly scene. As always, The SRU universe and related Intellectual Property are copyrighted to Bill Hart. Thanks to Bill for creating this wide and grand universe. This story may be archived on any free site. SRU: Ultimate Sacrifice By Lucretia Alex was walking to the mall, planning on stopping by the food court to grab some grub. He cursed his car, which broke down yesterday. He looked like the walk could do him some good for at 23;...

4 years ago
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SRU Better Than Plastic

SRU: Better Than Plastic By Roy Del Frink Mark and Susan Johnson had been married ten long, happy years. They were a perfect couple. Although they were childless, they planned to have children soon; in fact, Mark had tried to impregnate Susan for two months without success. Mark was pleased with his job balancing the bank's checkbooks, and Susan was equally pleased to serve as receptionist for the local high school. Time was starting to wreak havoc on the thirty-something couple's...

3 years ago
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SRU Chads Story

SRU: Chad's Story By Bashful Chad walked into the mall and looked around. He needed some girls to come to the frat party tonight. So far he had struck out. Last year he had come up with the idea to bring back the party committee and party fund. He had been appointed party chairman as a result. This was to be the first big party of the new school year. Chad was a senior and he wanted to make this last year of college a memorable one. Chad stopped and stared at a little...

2 years ago
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SRU Jerry Jerry Jerry

SRU: Jerry...Jerry...Jerry... by [email protected] edited by SteveZ The SRU Universe belongs to the great Bill Hart, but most of you already knew that. Although it pains me to say it, I was watching an episode of the Springer show the other day, and this story seemed natural. This story can be posted on any free site. (Especially FM!) ********************************************************** "Welcome to the show, today's topic: Magical Gender Changes. We ...

4 years ago
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SRU Learning French

SRU: Learning French By Demonn Hi, my name is Todd or should I say was Todd. I am, was 5' 10" and maybe just a bit of a geek. I wasn't ugly mind you but I wasn't all that incredibly strong. But that didn't stop me having friends like everyone else. It was a Saturday and like always, I was going to have some fun at my friend's house. I was a simple 15 year old guy, who enjoyed some R&R, when, my high school, Rivers High, was out. I mean who didn't. When I arrived at...

3 years ago
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SRU Lovers Knot First Draft

Some time ago, Raven and I collaborated on an SRU story called Lovers (K)Not, which is unfortunately incomplete at this time. Raven created the story idea, basic plot and the main characters, and then asked me to write a rough draft based on the information that he gave me. After I completed the rough draft, I sent it to him, where he polished it up and added quite a bit more detail as well as his own touches. Raven posted each chapter to Fictionmania after he'd finished his...

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