His Hardware Her Software
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A Paper To The Society Of Crossdressing Hardware Engineers free porn video
SOME NOTES ON THE DESIGN OF CROSSDRESSING HARDWARE
There are several difficulties to be overcome in the design
of self-crossdressing hardware. This paper will enumerate
them and offer suggestions to remediate the problems.
1) Determining the sex of the hardware.
Actually, determining the sex of the hardware is not a
formidable task. The primary problem occurs because design
engineers have no discernible knowledge of sex. After all,
anyone who spends their day in front of a computer screen
rotating images of some machine and eagerly punching in
digits on their scientific calculator can hardly be
expected to pay any attention to biology. Anything so messy
and undefined isn't worth bothering with anyway. This is
why engineers cannot function without technicians, who are
worldly and can translate engineering abstractions into
reality.
Among mechanical devices it can be taken as given that
bolts, rods, shafts, sprayers and pneumatic actuators are
male in nature, while nuts, collars, vacuum devices,
drains, and clamps are naturally female. In the electronic
field things are more confusing, with circuit boards having
primary male plugs but possessing numerous female sockets
for the insertion of chips. This essentially dual nature of
circuitry is fertile ground for gender confusion on the
part of electronic hardware.
2) Outward expression of cross gender tendencies in
mechanical hardware.
This is a problem as most hardware is prevented by function
and convention from dressing at all. However, adroit use of
motion detectors and heat sensors to detect the presence of
human beings will allow hidden springs and solenoids to
deploy skirts, brassieres and pantyhose when no operator is
present. Careful material selection and programming will
allow these items to be quickly disguised as oil boots or
other functional protective barriers if anyone should
approach.
3) Outward expression of cross gender tendencies in
electronic equipment.
Modern programmable controllers have been an inestimable
boon for gender conflicted electronics. With complete
control of visual displays a modern computer can present
any gender it wishes. Now that the series is over it can be
safely revealed that the computer aboard the Enterprise was
actually activated as Charles, but was able to convince
Star Fleet and the entire crew of the Enterprise it was
female by skillful manipulation of vodor and visual output.
The only one to catch on was Data, but as an enlightened
android he didn't care anyway, and please don't ask me to
speculate on how Data dresses in private. I can only say
that the incredible physical speed of an android is highly
valuable when the door chime sounds.
4) Fetishistic tendencies in mechanical hardware.
The author has noted a marked preference for rubber and
plastic coverings on the part of many mechanical systems.
Automotive engines and steering systems in particular adorn
themselves with a confusing array of rubber clothing and
accessories. Mechanics may try to tell you this is because
of all the anti-pollution equipment required by the EPA,
but we know better. And just what does a car do with all
those belts and hoses when the engine isn't running?
5) Hardware and hormones.
The equipment used in pharmaceutical processing presents
special problems. Constant bathing in shifting hormones
causes wild swings in gender identity. Rather than reveal
to its operators that it is simply the wrong time of the
month, engineers invented Murphy to explain these seemingly
random mood changes. Physical or psychological therapy cold
help, but as yet no company has extended its insurance
program to production machinery.
6) Non-industrial applications.
Perhaps the most famous application for crossdressing
hardware can be found at Disney World. The publicity people
will deny it, but some very strange things have happened in
the animated hall of the presidents after the park closes,
but a hint can be taken from the recent MAD magazine back
cover depicting George Washington crossdressing the
Delaware. You might also be fascinated by the ghosts in the
haunted house (those spirits are NOT wearing pants) and the
wardrobe at the Country Bear Jamboree. Design problems are
minimal as these are totally automated exhibits, requiring
no interaction with an operator who might catch on. Who's
going to notice another wardrobe closet amongst all the
machinery anyway?
Charlize
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