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The Detective's Justice By Donna Mary Allyson (c) 2003 Author's note: My sincere thanks to Carla Winters who volunteered to be my proof reader for this story. My spelling was atrocious and Carla kept me on track. Cast of Characters: The Good Guys: Saul/Sarah Meyer: Sergeant Mayfield Police Kathy Meyer: Saul's wife Carolyn Meyer: Saul's young daughter Virginia Harrison: Saul's Captain of Police Terrie Davidson: Saul's new partner from Livermore Lou Peterson: The Desk sergeant Luis Santchez: The informant The Bad Guys: Moe, Larry and Gunner: The Bikers Stanley Walters: The bad cop Jimmy "The Stretch" DeMateo: The Mob contact Keeper: An accomplice of Moe and a 'fence' Prologue My name is Saul Meyer, Detective Sergeant Meyer of the Mayfield Police Department's detective division. This has been my 'beat' for the last six years. It really wasn't a bad assignment. Mayfield did not have much of a drug problem and what we did have was a spill over from Boston. Some druggies thought the suburbs were safer that tangling with the 'big time' city Narcs. To some degree they were right. Small time users were generally left alone as long as they did their 'thing' in private. Our limited budget for narcotics enforcement was better spent on busting the out of town traffickers. Between our regular detective duties and narcotics enforcement we were not want for a full day's employment. At thirty four years old I was still in my prime. True I was not a very big guy at 5'8" and 150 pounds and not very intimidating with my blonde ponytail, hazel eyes, small button nose and almost hairless face but it served me well in undercover work. I had even very successfully posed as a female with the help of my partner Terri Davidson. It was that operation that had, in a roundabout way, landed me in my current humiliating situation but more about that later. Kathy and I had met during our second year in college. She had just transferred in from another college and was taking the same Criminal Justice course that I was. She was the loveliest creature I ever laid eyes on. She was a tiny girl, five foot two, and a hundred pounds soaking wet. She had the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen. Her face was almost the color of cream and framed with her light blonde hair she looked like an angel. There seemed to be a 'magnetic' force between us and we spent many nights in each others company. She was a devout Catholic girl and I was told quite firmly from the start that she would not go to bed with me or any man until she was properly married. I respected her wishes and two years later we were married. I was twenty three and Kathy was twenty two. By mutual agreement we decided to wait on children until we had established our career paths. I joined the Police Dept. and Kathy landed a position as a Superior Court probation officer. Carolyn was born three years later. Chief Judge Lindemann granted Kathy a sabbatical and she did not return to the court for a year. Two years after Carolyn was born I was promoted to detective with a substantial raise and assigned to narcotics. It was strange, I would bust some druggie and Kathy would end up being their probation officer. We had to maintain a very delicate balancing act so that the person's rights were not compromised. It was not always easy but we did manage for the most part to keep our professional lives and our private ones apart. For the past six years that is how it went but all that changed about 4 months ago when I finally got my promotion to Detective Sergeant So I guess that is where I should start. Chapter 1 "Saul, Captain Harrison wants to see you." Lou Peterson, the desk sergeant said as I walked in to the station that rainy April morning. "Thanks Lou." I replied. "Any coffee in the squad room?" "Yeh, I think so, if Stan didn't guzzle it all down." Lou replied jokingly. Stanley Walters was the night duty detective. Well past his prime. Over-weight, and showing his 60 years, he was more apt to spend the shift in the squad room than out on the street. I shook my head knowing that I would end up cleaning up the paperwork that he had most likely left behind. I hated taking the shift after him but that would change soon as Stan was retiring in a couple of weeks. That meant that I would probably get the night duty again until a replacement was found. That could be months and I was not very keen on that idea. Grabbing my cup from the shelf, I filled it with what passed for coffee and head to the Captain's office. "Good morning Saul, take a seat." The Captain said as I entered her office. Virginia Harrison was a veteran police officer. One of the first in the state to move into the administrative positions within the police services. For many years she had served as a desk officer and when females started entering field assignments she was among the first women to qualify. Her education, dedication and aggressive police work was slow in being recognized but eventually after receiving several citations for bravery under fire she had moved up the ladder to Precinct Captain. "Good Morning Captain." I said as I realized she was not alone. (I usually called her by her given name in private.) The young woman seated in front of the desk turned as I entered and for a moment she looked at me in intently and then she just smiled and nodded her head. "Meet Terri Davidson; Saul. Your new temporary partner." The captain stated flatly. Her tone of voice left me with no doubt that she would broach any argument from me. Terri stood and offered her hand. "Nice to meet you Saul. The Captain has been telling me a lot about you." I was immediately surprised at her firm grip. No 'wimpy bent at the wrist' type offering but a firm and friendly handshake. She was dressed moderately. A tan long sleeved silk blouse and brown Capri pants. She wore a maroon and yellow silk scarf around her neck that was tied in a loose knot in front of her blouse. Her brown pageboy hairdo and matching deep brown eyes projected a no nonsense aura. I estimated she was an inch shorter than me and close to 130 pounds. She was obviously worked out and was quite fit physically. She wore a Beretta 9 mm automatic on her hip with what appeared to be a specially made belt, feminine in its design but obviously quite functional. Her entire persona reflected the image was of a person who was ready to move quickly quietly and it necessary deadly. This was no ordinary girl. A Meter maid she definitely was not. I took an immediate liking to this woman. "My pleasure Terri." I responded as I returned her handshake. An "Ahem" from the Captain caught our attention and we both sat down and faced her. "Saul, Terri is on loan to us from the Livermore PD Narcotics unit." I looked over at Terri and she just smiled and nodded her head at me. Captain Harrison continued; "Livermore PD has assigned Terri to work with us on temporary assignment and since you are the head of the narcotics unit it is only appropriate that you two work together." "I take it that something is coming down?" I asked more as a statement than a question. "Yes. I am sure you recall that DEA made a series of raids in Boston and Livermore New Hampshire three weeks ago and recovered close to fifteen kilos of cocaine and made several arrests? Well, the drugs seized in Livermore were supposed to be transferred to the DEA Storage Facility in Boston for safekeeping. They never arrived. Sometime over the weekend a person or persons unknown managed to break into the evidence storage facility in Livermore and absconded with most of the drugs. Close to seven kilos are now missing. We have evidence that they were brought here and are still somewhere in Mayfield. Since this is our turf, DEA has asked for our help in recovering the evidence and the perpetrators." "Any idea who the thieves were?" I asked "Terri?" The captain asked looking at my new 'partner'. "We suspect a group of 1 percenters" She replied. "Motorcycle gang?" I asked knowing full well what she meant. "Yes. A splinter group of the Hell's Angels known as Satan's Alliance." Terri replied. "Any know activity of that group here Captain?" I asked. "Only one. A black and white reported seeing two of then casing out the warehouses on Canal Street in the mill district a week ago but nothing other than that." The Captain replied. "Canal Street? Warehouses?" Terri asked. "A private way that belongs to the holding company that owns all the old mill properties. It is a street that has the old canal on one side and rundown warehouses on the other. Railroad tracks run down the center of the street and across the canal at each end. Used to be a lot of rail traffic down there before the interstates were built and trucks became the main delivery mode. The mills are mostly closed down now but the tracks are still used to deliver boxcars to a couple of the mills that are still operating on the far side of the canal and the warehouses on the street. Because the street rails are still active, the town will not accept Canal Street as a public way. Not a nice area to be in at night." I stated. "Oh yeh, we have a few areas in Livermore like that too. Sounds like possible starting point." Terri stated flatly. "Saul, Terri, why don't you two put your heads together and see if you can dig anything up and make some recommendations. I want to see what you come up with before you take any action. Is that clear?" The Captain said making her point. We both nodded our heads. "Good I'll talk to you both tomorrow morning and we will go from there." With a wave of her hand the Captain made it clear that we were to get moving. Chapter 2 "So how long to we have to sit in this shit-hole Moe?" Al asked. "As long as it takes. The boss said that he would make the pickup in a few days and for a hundred K we will wait until hell freezes over." "Well I don't like it Moe. I don't trust that guy. Besides those four cops have been staked out across the street for eight days now." Gunner said. "I know that stupid. I also know that they have no idea where we are. If they did they would have had us raided by now. I'm sure the boss is just waiting for them to get fed up and leave. Just stay cool." Moe said. "Well I just wish they would get lost. I want to get laid." Al said. "Well do your friend there." Moe said looking at Gunner. "You'r not leaving as long as the cops are staking out the street." "Aw Moe. We did that twice today. I want a bitch." Al said pleadingly. "Later you fucking queer. After we get paid off. Go jerk each other off and let me get some shut eye." Moe said as he turned on his side on the small cot and shut his eyes. *** 8 days earlier-- Saul and Terri sat across from each other in the small detective's squad room. They had just completed reviewing the files that had been forwarded by Boston, Livermore and DEA as well as the report from the patrol officer. "Not a lot to go on. I would think that the best thing is to stake out the area around the warehouses and see if we can find the guys that the patrol officer reported. I'll bet they are holed up there somewhere." Terri suggested. She had both elbows on the table and held her cup with both hands to her lips as she sipped her coffee. She looked Saul intently in the eyes. "I agree. We probably should do this in shifts Terri. The Captain is not going to approve a big stakeout budget. We don't even know for sure that our 'pals' are still in the area even though I'm sure they are." Saul replied. Then lets just get a warrant and have a team go down there and search the whole complex? If they're in there we'll get them 'red handed'? Terri asked. "Terrie, that won't get us the 'fish' that planned that theft in Livermore. Those bikers are not smart enough for that. I would sure like to catch the big guy's and if we can get a handle on exactly where the bikers are they may lead us to the real bad guys." "True. Look Saul. I'll call my captain in Livermore. I'll bet he will give us an additional officer and since Livermore will pick up the cost, I'll bet Captain Harrison will agree to add one additional man from your department. That will give us four total. Should be enough for a few days." Terrie said. "That will work Terrie. Lets put a schedule an plan together and let the 'Powers' know what we intend to do." Saul said matter of factly. Inwardly He smiled. he liked the way this lady thought. *** The cell phone rang once and the biker answered "Mo." "Tonight. Looks like a minimum 10 day stakeout. Meyer, that Livermore broad, some other guy from Livermore and myself. Just tell those idiots you call pals not to get careless and not to be fooled, Meyer can be a tricky character. "Don't worry, we can handle him." Mo said snidely. "Look asshole, Meyer is no dope. He can be dangerous. The boss doesn't want any screw-ups." "Yeh I know, don't' worry about it. If he gets to be too much trouble we'll snatch his wife and kid as insurance. That'll cool his heels. The figure said irritably. "No! That's kidnapping and that will get a swarm of Feds down on us. Leave the wife and kid alone. And tell those assholes not to get careless and no shooting. I don't want this turned into a homicide investigation. It's bad enough with the Narcs and DEA involved, I don't need the homicide detectives in on this too." "How about if I get a couple more of my guys to arrange to meet him and have him just disappear?" "I don't care if he disappears. Just make sure that he disappears permanently and make sure that this shit isn't tied to me." Stanley Walters wiped the phone clean of any fingerprints with a hankerchief and set it back in its cradle. Quietly he slipped out of the office through the rear door and into the darkened hallway. He did not notice the 30 day audio recorder LEDs switch from red to green. *** 3 days later-- It my turn for stakeout duty. In the three days that the team had been watching the area there had been no sign of their prey. I knew that they were in the area but the multitude of single and multi-story warehouses with their rusting corrugated metal overhead doors had not produced a single bit of activity. The town records showed that ten of the buildings were unoccupied and two were used by the holding company to store maintenance equipment. Those two buildings were faced on Canal Street and had been the only ones that had been entered. The other eight buildings lined the service road that had only one entrance. That was a bridge over the canal from Canal Street and ended at the river that feed the canals. I was sure that from our vantage point on the other side of the canal bridge we would be able to see any activity around the other eight buildings. I sat in my car tucked away in the shadow of the old mill and waited. Terri had taken a position in the old third floor mill office at a window that overlooked the street and the entrance to the service road. We kept in constant touch with short range spread-spectrum radios. Not only did our observation posts have a good view of the suspected area but our relief could arrive by way of the rear of the mill complex without being seen from the area around the warehouses. I checked my watch, it was close to 5 AM. Tom Jennings the other Livermore Narcotics officer had arrived and joined Terri. Stanley was due to arrive soon. I really didn't expect anything to happen during the daylight hours so I felt comfortable giving that idiot Stanley the daylight shift. "Less chance of a screw-up." I had told Terri when Stanley had been assigned to the team. "Don't worry Saul; Tom is very good at this type of work. He'll not tolerate any screw ups from Stanley." Terrie had replied. "Another boring night. I have to find a way to draw them out. I know they're there." I mumbled in myself in frustration. Stanley was late as was usual but he had at least brought fresh coffee. The four of us gathered in the third floor office and after a short briefing of the relief guys on the total lack of activity of the previous night, Terrie and I left the stakeout and headed for Louis' Country Kitchen for breakfast. +++ "This is getting us nowhere Terrie; we need to find a way to draw them out." I said as I sipped my second coffee of the morning. "I agree. That is if they are even in one of those buildings. If they are in one of those warehouses they have not shown themselves. Not even a light on at night. They only thing we have to go on is that patrol officer's report." Terrie responded. "Oh they're there alright. But they are smart. I have the feeling that they know they are being watched." "How could they Saul? The only ones that know we are here is the team and your captain and mine." "I don't know I just have a gut feeling that we are wasting our time. Terrie was quiet for a few moments then smiled. "I have an idea but I'm not sure that you will like it." She said. I noticed the hint of a smile on her face and I knew that I was not going to like what she was about to say but considering the strikeouts so far I was open to any suggestions. "I'm all ears." I said noncommittally. Chapter 3 It was late afternoon when I rolled out of bed to get ready for the next stakeout shift. I had promised Terrie that I would be at her place by 5 PM and she had insisted that I at least have the preliminaries done before I arrived. I had explained to Kathy what we planned to do and after an initial bout of laughter and some playful comments about how 'cute' I'd look, Kathy had grown serious and had commented on how dangerous our plan could be. "Saul those guys are bad apples. I have heard that those Satan's Alliance members are capable of anything. If they find out you fooled them and get you alone they could kill you. I don't want you to end up dead." Kathy said tears welling up in her eyes. She did not know how close she had come to the truth of the events of the next few hours. "I'll be alright dear. I will have plenty of backup. You know me. I don't take chances. The whole team is going to be in on this. Besides, I have too much going for me here to take chances" Saul said wrapping his arms around her. Kathy held tight for a minute. She knew her husband. He was a dedicated cop and would do whatever it took to 'get the bad guys'. Regaining her composure, she took Saul by the elbow and led him into the bathroom. "Come on sweetie lets get your legs and underarms looking pretty. And I do want a picture when Terrie finishes your transformation." She said with a week laugh. "Not a chance Sweetheart. I don't need that kind of evidence lying around." I said jokingly giving her backend a light swat as we walked towards the bathroom. *** Terrie hung up the phone and slammed her fist into the side table beside her bed. "Damned bureaucrats" She mumbled as she picked up the phone again and dialed Saul's home number. "Hello?" Terrie heard the little girl's voice say. "Hello? is this Carolyn?" Terrie replied. "Yes it is." Carolyn answered. "Carolyn, this is Terrie Davidson. I work with your Daddy. Is he there?" "Yes Ma'am. I'll get him. The girl replied. "Hi Terrie. You on the way over here?" Saul asked. "No dammit. My boss called, Tom Jennings and I have to go to court to testify in a case tomorrow. He wants us back in Livermore ASAP to meet with the District Attorney. This is going to throw a monkey-wrench in our plans." "Can't you boss get a postponement? He knows how important this detail is." "Not a chance Saul. He tried but the DA does not want to reschedule. We'll just have to wait until I get back to try our little deception. We'll probably be at least three days in Livermore." "Can't wait that long Terrie. If our 'boys' are there, they will have to be getting ready to move that stuff pretty soon. I'll just have to rely on Stanley for backup." "Can't you get someone else? he is such a duffus." "Not a chance, I have a gut feeling that it is going to be tonight. Stanley will just have to work a little overtime. "Ok Saul. You be careful. Oh, and I want a picture after Kathy gets done with you. I'm sure you will look divine. Terrie said. Saul noted the slight giggle in her voice. "What is it with you women? Kathy said the same thing. Do you gals get some perverted high out of seeing a guy in drag?" "Not really. But it is not everyday a macho cop gets himself all prettied up." "Ya sure. I'll fill you in when you get back." "I'm sure you will dear. I'm sure you will. Bye." I hung up with Terrie and immediately dialed Stanley's cell phone. When he answered, I outlined what was happening and that he would have to hang in and be my backup. Stanley seemed amenable to the plan and this surprised me. I had expected at least a little flak but instead Stanley had readily agreed to help. I felt the proverbial hair on the back of my neck "raise up". I just shook it off as nerves. I hung up the phone and went back into the bathroom. "Your going to have to help me Kathy. Terrie is delayed." I lied. I knew that if I told her that I was going to be working only with Stanley she would have freaked out. "Great. Just what I always wanted. To turn my husband into a girl." Kathy giggled. I put my hand on my hip and bent a knee slightly in a mock feminine stance. "Well what I your waiting for?" I quipped. It was her turn to give me a little swat but she missed. +++ I was to say the least, very uncomfortable. Not that the clothes were ill-fitting, but that I looked so realistic. I could not believe the transformation that Kathy had achieved. I was very thankful that at least the shoes were not those high heeled spikes that the local hookers wore. Kathy had insisted on low heeled pumps that she had said was easier to move around in. I parked my car behind the mill complex and walked towards the rear entrance. I could feel the breeze wafting around the pantyhose and up under the short red skirt. My hair had been fixed into a feminine style and the little strands that came down the side of my face tickled as the wind brew it around. "God, how can girls wear this stuff all the time." I said to myself. I felt half naked. Even the pink front button cardigan only covered then very top of the skirt. It was close to 7:30 PM when I climbed the stairs to the third floor stakeout area and was suddenly pulled into the room. Tom Jennings let go of my arm immediately when I let out a "Hey, hands off" remark. "Saul? Is that really you?" Stanley said, letting out a low wolf whistle. "Ya it's me and no wise cracks." I replied self consciously. "Nice job Saul. Tom remarked. Terrie did a nice job on you." "Wasn't Terrie, Tom. My wife helped me. By the way you had better get a move on if you are to meet Terrie at the DA's office on time." Stanley had moved to the other side of the room to check the window. "Ya I better. It's an hour's drive. I still don't feel right about this Saul. Leaving you with Stanley." "We'll be alright Tom. Thanks for the concern." "Ok. If we can manage it, we should be back tomorrow night if the court wraps up our part of the testimony tomorrow otherwise it will be the day after." "Terrie figured the same thing. Get going Tom. See you guys in a day or so." With that Tom walked out the door leaving Stanley and me alone. For the next hour and a half Stanley and I took turns watching the warehouses through the high powered binoculars and putting a plan in place. Nothing seemed to move and as darkness set in. I was acutely aware of the furtive glances I got from Walters when he thought I was not looking. I said nothing. If all went well I would be out of drag by midnight and the idiot Walters would be out of my hair for good. Chapter 4 "Ok Stanley, lets see if we can force their hand." Saul said a little after 9:00 PM. The two men left the mill building and drove the long way around the rear of the complex and parked just over the canal bridge on Union Street. They were out of sight of the warehouses' entrance but only a short walk from there down Canal Street the service road. "I'll go first and you stay close behind but out of sight. I can't take all this stuff, (pointing to the cell phone, police portable and short range stakeout radios) with this outfit I'm wearing. All I have room for in this little purse is the short range radio. If anything happens you call for backup and come running." Saul tucked the 9MM automatic into the waistband of his skirt. The sweater just covering the handle. "Ok Saul. Just don't go into any buildings until I get there." Walters said knowing full well that Saul would not hesitate to go into the warehouse alone if need be. Walters was counting on this. "Good lets go." Saul said flatly. Walters watch with a smirk on his face as his 'partner' walked down Canal Street his low heels clicking on the cobblestones, his short red skirt swinging around his nylon clad legs. Walters crossed the street and ducked into a shadowy doorway. He took the cell phone out of his pocket and dialed a familiar number. "He's coming now. Dressed as a girl. Red skirt and pink sweater. He's armed so don't be fooled." Walters abruptly broke the connection. +++ Thirty minutes later an overhead door on warehouse 8 at the end of the service road opened and a white unmarked commercial van pulled out and drove away. The overhead door closed automatically leaving no sign that the truck had ever been there. Inside the warehouse on a shelf next to the dirty sink was a matchbook cover with the name; Sarponi Moving and Storage; Livermore, New Hampshire. On the inside of the cover was written in pencil a phone number. Walters waited another ten minutes and then called for backup. He made no mention of the truck's departure. +++ "Hey Moe, I think he is awake." I heard a voice say. "It's about time. I told you not to give him so much of that shit." I heard a second voice say. "Shut up both of you. It's play time." Voice number three said. Slowly I opened my eyes and surveyed by predicament. I was naked and totally immobile. The skirt, sweater, hose and low heeled pumps I had been wearing were strewn on the floor in a heap. I knew that I was not in the warehouse. I was in a dingy flat. Through the open door I could see a stove and half of a kitchen table strewn with beer bottles. The room I was in appeared to be a bedroom. An unmade bed against the wall and a single dresser was all that was in the room. Through the dirty glass of the single window I could just make out a line of trees and the rocky face of a cliff wall beyond. Moe the ringleader stood before me. His crotch level with my face. I watched with 'mind fogged' fascination as he fumbled with the zipper on his black leather pants. I knew what was coming before he even said it. I struggled weakly the bonds that tied me to the small wooden chair but it was no use. I could not move. The chair legs had been cut down and were lashed to a ring bolted to the floor in the center of the room. My hands were securely fastened behind my back and to the chair. My knees rested on the floor and my ankles were tied to what was left of the rear legs of the chair. My mind cleared rapidly from whatever drug they had used on me. My mouth was dry and I ran my tongue over my lips to try and clear the dryness. "Well lookie here, our sissy cop is eager for our attentions. I hope you like your accommodations girly. I'm sure your going to like your visit with us." Moe said with a sneer. I looked at my captor, his long black hair and equally long beard gave him the appearance of Blackbeard the Pirate, he was a brute of a man and his image burned into my mind. "Hey Moe, enough talk, lets get on with it. I need to get my load off." The smooth faced one said. "Hold you pecker you queer fucker. You'll get your chance at him." "Now flatfoot", Moe continued "lets see much of a sissy you really are. You wanted to trick us by making us think you were a hooker now you can act the part. You're going to give me and my two pals a nice slow blowjob" Moe said with a sneer as he gripped my hair and pulled my head backwards. "Like hell I will asshole." I said not very confidently. I felt fear and rage build up inside me when he continued to pull down the zipper of his leather pants and pull out his cock. It was still a shock when I saw how big it was. It had to be at least ten inches long and two inches around the base. The opening at its end was already pulsating with anticipation. " Bring that thing any closer and all your going to get is to watch it get spitted out on the floor." I said vehemently. "Oh such bad talk from the big bad sissy policeman. I don't think so girly. You will suck us off or else my friends are going to go to your house and get your wife and little girl and bring then here. I and sure your lovely bitch will enjoy the pleasure of getting laid by my two friends here while I get to take your kid's cherry. You should enjoy the show while I have her do what you won't. I'm sure your bitch will also appreciate the show when I rid you of these." Moe said with a sick sneer as he reached down and cupped my own cock and balls with one hand and dangled the keys to my car and house with the other making his point quite clear. My heart pounded in my chest at what he had just said. I was helpless to stop them. I screamed "No!" at the threat. I was still a shock when I saw how big his cock was. It had to be at least ten inches long and two inches around the base. The opening at its end was already pulsating with anticipation. "Well, we're waiting. You do us or your bitch and kid will." Was his reply. He waved his rigid member in front of my face for emphasis. I could smell the odor of his maleness. I had never had sex with another male or even thought about doing anything like that. The very Idea was repulsive to me yet here I was being forced to perform the ultimate homosexual act, and on this creep while his two friends waited their turn. It was under duress true, but that did not dampen the humiliation. I knew that there was no out. The sick laughter of the 'animals' rang in my ears as I watched the other two each take a hit of cocaine and then take off their pants. They started masturbating themselves to erection. I forced out of my mind their intent and thought only of protecting Kathy my lovely wife and Carolyn my eight year old daughter. I cursed silently at my stupidity of not having called for additional backup before entering the building. Resigned at was about to happen but determined to get my revenge, I closed my eyes and waited for the insult. Moe slapped me hard on the cheek and at the same time pushed on my lower jaw forcing my mouth open. I kept my eyes closed as he pushed his warm stiff cock past my lips and over my tongue. "Suck it good and don't bite!" My assailant said menacingly as he pumped his cock in and out of my mouth, the tip never quite passing out of my mouth. I complied. I knew I was doing this for Kathy and Carolyn. I could not refuse and have these creeps violate my family. I now understood what a woman experienced when she was forcibly gang raped. Humiliation, anger and fear were a mix of emotions that coursed through me all at once. He finally, after what seemed like an eternity, shot his cum into my mouth. He pulled his cock from my mouth and then put his hand under my chin and pushed upward forcing my mouth closed and at the same time pinched my nostrils shut. "Swallow it Sissy." He said. I did, almost gagging. As I opened my mouth and gasped for breath I was presented with another cock entering my mouth. And so it went until I had satisfied the perversion of my tormenters. It had seemed like hours that the assaults continued. I had never wanted to kill another human being before, until now. But now I had only one thought. Retribution. Total and complete revenge was all I could think of. I renamed them Deadman one, two and three, for that is what I intended to make them. The thought was lost as I felt an instant of sharp pain to the back of my head and I blacked out. "Fuck you asshole. Moe said as reached down and gripped the skin of Saul's scrotum. He placed his switchblade knife against the center of the sac a with a swift cut he opened the sac and cut out the two small round balls. Without a second thought Moe tossed the objects in the trash can and then washed his hands. "Come on you guys, lets blow this joint." "What about him?" Al asked with a quiver to his voice. He had obviously been shaken by Moe's brutal and un-necessary act of mutilation. "Screw him. He'll probably bleed to death soon anyway. Now lets get the hell out of here." With a final insult Moe sliced his knife across the base of the unconscious man's limp penis severing it. "Fuck you Meyer." Moe said as he watched the blood flow from the wound. "Maybe they'll make you a girl angel." Moe said laughingly as he tossed the severed organ into the trash can. As a final gesture of contempt Moe scribbled a note and placed it in his mouth. "You'll be singing soprano from now on sissy, if you survive." The note said. Moe laughed and walked out of the room. Chapter 5 It was semi-dark when I slowly awoke. At first I did not know where I was but I knew it was not that dingy room. As I started to take inventory of my surroundings I realized that I was in a hospital room. I could see the heart monitor beside my bed with its sawtooth pattern recording my heartbeat. I had an IV bottle on each side of my bed. Its tubes dripping I don't know what into my immobile arms. It was no time at all when a young girl came into the room. I recognized the uniform of a 'candy-striper'. She must have been surprised that I was awake as she turned around and left the room. Almost at once she returned with an older woman who I recognized as a regular nurse and a man who appeared to be a doctor. "Good Morning Mr. Meyer. Welcome back. I'm Doctor Jacobson. How do feel?" What a stupid question I thought. I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck. "Like fucking shit doctor." I said and was immediately embarrassed when I remembered the two women were still in the room fussing with various equipment. "I'm sorry ladies." I stammered. The younger girl giggled a little as her face reddened but the older woman just nodded her head. "Well you're certainly awake and alert Mr. Meyer. Do you mind if I make a quick exam of your vital signs? He asked. "Sure go ahead. By the way doctor, where am I and how long have I been here?" I asked. "Saint John the Evangelist Hospital. Mr. Meyer. You have been here seven weeks." He said. "You have been in a coma most of that time although I thought you would have come out of it sooner." I was taken aback by his statement. "Seven weeks? Coma? What happened? I asked, the questions literally one after the other. To say that I was shocked is an understatement. The doctor finished his examination of his vital signs and looked over the strip of tape from the heart monitor and in a exaggerated motion he folded his stethoscope and placed it in the pocket of his jacket. "Mr. Meyer a lot happened to you and I will tell you everything but this involves your wife Kathryn as well. If you can wait a little while I'll have a nurse call her and have her come here. I think she needs to be here while we talk." 'Kathy, I thought? What about her. Is she alright, is Carolyn.' It was all coming back to me. The threat made that forced my unwilling participation in the motorcycle gang's sickening assault on me. I could feel my heart start to pound and the doctor must have notice the change on the heart monitor. I felt a slight sting as the nurse inserted a needle into my arm. "Just a sedative Saul, it will help calm you down. *** I must have dose off because the next thing I felt was the soft familiar hand gently squeezing my own. I did not have to open my eyes to know whose it was. When I did open my eyes there was Kathy, a more beautiful sight I could not have asked for. It is strange how much more you appreciate your loved ones after a traumatic experience. "Hi Sweetie", was all she said before I was nearly smothered by her kisses. After almost a minute of that I was able to get a "Whoa! Let me get some breathing time." Kathy laid her head on my chest and started to cry. I knew it was her way of releasing a lot of built up tension so I did not try to stop her. It was then that I noticed that we were not alone. Captain Harrison and Terrie Davidson sat quietly in the chairs set against the wall of my room. I lifted my fingers in an acknowledgment of their presence. "Hi." I said. Kathy lifted her head off my chest when she heard me speak. "Hi yourself." Virginia Harrison said. "Hope you don't mind us coming but when Kathy called and told me you were back in the land of the living I called Terrie and we decided to come over together." "Besides Saul. I had to make sure that I still had a partner." Terrie quipped. "Terrie is now with MPD, Saul. She resigned from Livermore and the Chief immediately scooped her up when she applied to Mayfield." I looked at Terrie quizzically. "How come." "More money and less politics Saul. You remember that meeting we had to attend with the District Attorney? They coped a plea bargain and the DA went for it. The jerks got off with 2 years suspended and a five hundred dollar fine. Livermore's chief didn't even make an objection to the DA. Just shrugged his shoulders. I had enough and decided to look elsewhere. Virginia told me that Mayfield had an immediate opening so I applied." "Opening? I didn't know we had an opening in the detective section?" "With Walters in jail we did." Virginia Harrison added coldly. "Jail?" I asked surprised. "Jail. But that's for later. Terrie and I are going down to the cafeteria for awhile. You and Kathy have to have a talk with the doctor first. Come on Terrie." Virginia said putting her hand on Terrie's elbow for emphasis. "Ok." I replied. See you later." I said; but wishing She had elaborated further. For the next few minutes Kathy filled me in on the family happenings while I was in the coma. The worse part was when I realized that I had missed Carolyn's ninth birthday. I really felt bad at that. My self recriminations did not last long as a nurse came into the room pushing a tray of food. It was then that I realized just how hungry I was. "Good morning Mr. Meyer. Dr. Jacobson said that we can start you on some solid food this morning. Let me just get those IV needles out of your arms and free the. restraints." The nurse was very efficient and within minutes I was free of the restraints and the bed had been raised so that I was in a semi-sitting position. Placing the food tray over my legs I looked at my breakfast. To say it was solid food was an mis-statement. The single poached egg was so soft that I swear it could still be hatched. The orange juice was warmer than my body temperature. And the corn flakes? Forget about those. They were about the consistency of quicksand. Still I was so hungry I was willing to try anything. I willed my arm to reach for the spoon and it just would not obey me. Kathy must have notice my distress because she picked up the spoon without a word and started feeding me. I felt like a baby. Believe it or not, fifteen minutes later that 'terrible food' was gone and resided in my stomach. I did feel a lot better except for the need to go to the bathroom. That is when I realized that something was not quite right between my legs. "Kathy I have to go to take a leak bad. Will you call the nurse." I said. "Just let it go." Said Dr. Jacobson overhearing the comment as he entered the room. "Just relax and let it go. You're still on a catheter Saul. You have been since the surgery." I did as instructed and was surprised at how fast I felt the release of the pressure on my bladder. "Surgery? What surgery Doctor?" I asked. Kathy squeezed my hand and I saw tears in her eyes. "Doctor what is going on?" I asked in as demanding a tone as I could muster. *** I sat quietly as the doctor finished his explanation of my initial injuries and the steps taken to stabilize me when I was brought in the first night. He outlined my present condition and what I could expect over the next few days and weeks. The voices in the room became hollow. More like an echo. I stopped listening as my mind wandered. Inside I felt shock, horror, and fear all at the same time. Also something else, I felt my anger towards the creeps that had humiliated me and threaten my family change. Now I was told that they had emasculated me. I was no longer a man. I was a thing. I felt a rage build inside me that only total revenge would satiate. I was not thinking rationally. It was murder that I had in mind. A nice slow torturous retribution. *** I returned from my thoughts as Doctor Jacobson called my attention. "Saul, do you understand what I am saying?" Saul? He insisted. "I'm sorry doctor. I was not paying attention." I replied. "That's alright. Mr. Meyer. I have already talked to you wife Kathy about this option but it has got to be your decision." "What decision?" I asked somewhat confused. "Whether you want a sex re-assignment." *** The doctor had excused himself to allow us to be alone. At first Kathy said nothing and I was content to leave it like that but in the end she could not hold back. "Doctor Jacobson says that it has to be soon. The tissue that was recovered by the paramedics can not be kept viable for much longer and they will need that to do the surgery." "No way Kathy. I am not going to get a friggin sex change. That is a crazy idea." I said vehemently. Kathy winced at my rebuttal. "Why not Saul? Fifty two percent of the world's population are women. Most are quite happy with their lot in life. You could be too if you give it a chance." She said softly. "For Chris sakes Kathy. We're married. I am a father. How the hell are we going to explain that if I end up in a skirt. Besides I like being a man." I said. "But not a half man Saul, you know that you will be miserable the way you are now. Saul, I love you, no matter what I will continue to love you but lets be realistic. Your not going to be able to get me pregnant again but that doesn't mean you and I can't make each other happy and content." "Like what? Lesbians. I shot back. "If that's what we have to do, yes. Saul I love you for yourself not for just physical reasons." Kathy said seriously. I was dumbfounded. I did not expect her to say that. As for Carolyn, love her as you always have. She will understand. She has her father's smarts." Kathy said with a smile. "Kathy, I have no idea how to live as a girl. Sure I have gone undercover in drag but only for a short time. This is different. It is permanent. "Saul, not to worry, I will teach you everything you need to know. It will be hard that I won't deny, but you will learn. With a deep sadness and not to mention apprehension, I nodded my head. **** I must have dozed off because Virginia and Terrie were sitting in the side chairs when I opened my eyes. "Hi again" Virginia said as I looked towards the two women. I looked around for Kathy but she was not in the room. Anticipating my question Terrie said "She has gone to pick up your daughter. She said to tell you that she would be back this afternoon." I just nodded my head and replied "Oh, thanks." "Your wife told me what you had decided to do Saul." Virginia piped in. "I have to commend you on your courage. That is as big decision as it gets. Just remember that when you are ready I will still have your position open. In the meantime you are on paid medical leave." She continued. "And I need a partner Saul." Terrie replied with genuine feeling." Her smile and gentile touch to my hand told me she was sincere. "Yeh sure, Like I am going to make a tough impression on the assholes out there wearing a skirt." I said sarcastically. Regretting my comment as soon as I said it. "Like me?" Terrie said reproachingly. "I'm sorry Terrie. I didn't mean it that way." I replied. Terrie looked me deep in the eyes and then she smiled again. "I know Saul, I'm sorry too. The stress of all this must be awful. I still need a partner and you are it. You'll just need a little additional training in order to cope as a female cop and I intend to be the one doing that" I smiled, "I guess I can't win this case." I said trying to be light- hearted about the whole thing. Virginia stifled a giggle just as one of the floor nurses came in to the room carrying a tray of meds. "Done." Virginia said. "Now rest. We'll be back later Saul. Come on Terrie, we still have some bad guys to try and catch." Both women leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "See you later partner." Terrie said with a little laugh. "Thanks. Thanks for the understanding you guys." I said feeling a little better that neither of the women had made any negative comment about my decision. "No problem Saul. We have a very good cop joining our side of the fence that's all." Virginia said with sincerity evident in her voice. I felt much better knowing I had their support. *** Each day while I waited I was visited by a psychologist who specialized in transgender issues. Her name was Madeline Voger. She explained that normally a person changing gender was required to live as a member of the adopted sex for at least a year before transitioning. She understood the biological necessity to complete the surgery so quickly but disagreed with my decision to do it without the life experience. In the end she had no choice but to certify me fit for SRS but made me promise to keep close contact with her once it was done. I knew she was not happy circumventing the established procedures and requirements. I had a feeling that she was placed under some strong pressure from influential members of officialdom. Five days later I went into the operating room to have "IT" done. It had been the longest five days of my life but thanks to Kathy's constant support I stuck to my decision to become a member of the "fairer sex". As I laid on the operating table waiting for the anesthesiologist to put me under a young nurse asked me a question that drove home the finality of what I was about to do. "Mr. Meyer? Just for the record. Have you selected a new name yet?" "A new name? Why should I do that?" Then it struck me. "Oh yeh." I thought for a minute. "Sarah. It was my mother's name. "It will be Sarah Ruth Meyer. Do me a favor, I never told my wife what I would use for a name. Would you?" The young nurse was smiling. I could see it in her eyes even though she wore a surgical mask. "Thank you Miss Meyer. That is a beautiful name. I will make sure your charts are changed and I will tell Mrs. Meyer for you. "Ms. Meyer, Please start to count backwards from ninety nine." the anesthesiologist said. 'Ms. Meyer? Miss Meyer? Sarah? God what was I doing? I started to say STOP--- but instead the world went black but for only for what seemed like a moment. Chapter 6 The world came back into focus slowly. For what seemed like a seesaw of images I was back and forth with glimpses of the hospital room and my subconscious. Each blending with the other. It was the sound of low voices that finally brought me to full consciousness. I turned my head toward the voices and saw Dr. Jacobson standing by the door talking to Kathy. "She is doing fine Mrs. Meyer. She should be regaining consciousness any time now." I heard Jacobson say. "Thank you Doctor... Saul, you're awake." Kathy said as she noticed me looking in their direction. "Is it over?" I asked groggily. "Yes Saul it is. How do you feel?" Kathy asked as she reached out and took my hand. I had to concentrate to answer. Did I feel anything, No, I was still numb I rationalized. "No, I feel weak but no pain." Then I remembered what it was that had been done." Did they--did they do it." I asked warily. "Yes Ms. Meyer. It was a complete success." Jacobson replied to my question. "I guess we should start calling you Sarah now." Kathy laid her head on my hand and started to sob softly. "Kathy, I--" I stopped in mid thought as I really didn't know what to say to her. "It's ok S--, Sarah, we'll cope." Kathy said as she looked up at me with a forced smile. *** I was in the hospital for ten days. Ten days of what could only be discribed as the most humiliating ten days of my life. On the second day after the surgury Dr. Jacobson took out the catheters and I was told to use the bathroom. A nurse assisted me that first time and instructed me on how to pee sitting down and how to properly wipe afterwards. I felt like a little kid. It was not just that but the sessions with that damned dilator that they kept making me use on myself to prevent my new vagina from closing up. I felt rediculous each time I had to use the thing. On the third day after surgury the reality of what I had done became strikingly clear and from my own wife Kathy. It was just after 9:00 am and I had just finished my session with the friggin dildo when Michelle O'Malley, one of the nurse's assistants came into my room pushing a small cart. On the cart was a tray with my meds and a couple of boxes. "Good morning Sarah. How are you today?" She asked cheerfully. "Hi Michelle. I'm doing good considering everything." "That's great. I have a little surprise. We can get you out of that hospital gown and into something more comfortable. Ms. Meyer sent over some stuff for you. She said to make sure you didn't give us any grief over it." Michelle said trying unsucessfully to surpress a giggle. She handed my a cup of water and three pills. The first two I knew were my antibiotics but the third one was new. "What's this for?" I asked. Michelle looked at the meds slip and then smiled. "That's what will help you become a woman Sarah. It's estrogen hormones." "Oh. I forgot about that." I said with a sigh and then swallowed the pills. My curiosity about the boxes was rapidly replaced with what I'm sure was a very red face as Michelle opened one box and extracted a lady's nightie and bathrobe set. The nightie was a knee length pink number with just a hint of white lace on the collar and elbow length cuffs. There was also matching panties and the robe was a matching color in brushed cotton flecce. The fact that they were quite feminine was not lost on me. Michelle laid the clothing across the bottom of the bed and opened the other box. I watched in rapt facinastion as she set out on the side stand a series of items that left no doubt that what they were. A complete makeup kit and hair styling set. For some reason it was the lipstick tube that she set out on the stand that drove home what I had become. "Kathy said to tell you that she will be in to see you in about an hour. From the looks of this stuff she is intent on helping you to look pretty." Michelle said with a big smile on her face. "About time too." She added. The last box was the clincher as to what I now was, Michelle extracted a single wrapped item and opened it. It was a sanitary napkin. "Sorry Sarah but the doctor said that you were to wear one of these for the next couple of weeks until your new anatomy stops draining. I just looked at her and then back and forth between the ultimate girly item and just shook my head. "No way." I said gruffly. "Yes, way." Michelle said with a slight giggle. "You have to do it or you will have some really messy clothes. You don't want to continue with the bandages do you? I knew that I was not going to win any battles today but I had to show some resistance for my own peace of mind. "Ok, you'll have to show me but I'm not wearing those frilly clothes and lipstick." "And why not Sarah? All, at least most girls wouldn't be see dead without being presentable. Makeup and nice clothes makes the girl. Now come on. lets get you out of that awful hospital gown and into the shower." Michelle said as she picked up the nightwear in one hand and helped me with the other. Nice Girls? She had no idea what kind of 'girl' I was going to be if ever I got my hands on the bastards that had done this to me. I thought to myself as I let Michelle help me out of the bed and to the shower. It was strange, I was going to fight her over the clothes but after being helped to shower and wash, blow dry and brush out my long hair, I just could not resist trying on the nightie. I was pleasantly surprised at how nice they felt. A half hour later, showered, legs and underarms shaved, smelling like a flower garden and wearing the pink nightie, bathrobe and the cursed sanitary pad, I returned to my bed and sat on the edge. All of a sudden I started to cry. Michelle sat beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "It's ok Sarah. Let it out." she said softly. "God Michelle, I really am a girl now." I said between sobs. "Yes you are Sarah and a pretty one at that." Chapter 7 Michelle left a short time later but not before getting me something to read. "Your Police Captain left this for you." I scowled a little when I saw the title: 'Policewoman Today'. "Ya sure." I said to myself. All that came to mind was a Police Metermaid in a blue police jacket and blue skirt writing parking tickets. Dr. Jacobson came in and did a routine exam and seemed satisfied that everything was progressing nicely. He also seemed pleased at the way I was dressed. "Good. very Good Sarah. Now I want you to stay out of the bed as long as possible. I'd like you to to take a walk around the corridors it will help you get your stength back in your legs. Visit the patient's lounge too if you feel up to it. It's very nice there." Ok Doctor, I'll do that." I had replied non-commitally. By the time Kathy arrived I taken my first stroll with the help of an orderly and was back in my room sitting by the window reading the magazine. I had regained my composure but almost lost it again when I saw Carolyn scurry in behind her. Carolyn came into the center of the room and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. I knew from our previous conversations that Kathy had told Carolyn what had happened to me but that did not make her hesitate. Kathy came over to me and kissed me on the cheek. "You look very nice Saul." She whispered in my ear. Sarah now, Kathy. I whispered back. "Really?" She asked softly. I nodded my head. Turning to Carolyn she held out her hand to her. "It's ok Honey. Come here." Carolyn edged forward hestatingly. Her eyes fixed on mine. Is that you Daddy?" She asked cautiously. "I smiled and held out a hand to her. "Yes Sweetie, I just look a lot different now but it is still me." "Daddy, Mommy says you have become a lady now. Why did you do that?" She asked innocently. "It is a long story Carolyn but it was necessary. I got hurt real bad and it was the only way to save my life." I hated my untruthful answer but it was all I could say in response. For a few long seconds Carolyn just stood there looking at me. Then she smiled and ran to me jumping into my arms. "Daddy I don't care as long as you did not die. I still love you no matter what and your a lot prettier now." I felt tears well up in my eyes and at that moment I knew I had done the right thing in protected my family regardless of how it had turned out. "I love you too Sweetie." I said happily. Kathy kneeled on the floor next to us and for a long while we juat held each other. We spent the rest of the morning in private. The nurses peeked in a few times and then discreetly backed out when they saw that Kathy and Carolyn were working hard to make me look even prettier. *** During the next week I had several visits from my psycologist Madeline Voger. Her assessment was noncommittal each time but she did seem inpressed with the way I was handling my SRS. She extracted a commitment from me that I would meet with her regularly over the next year. On the day of my discharge from the hospital I got dressed as a woman for the first time and could honestly say it was not in drag. That term did not apply to me anymore. My 'ex-wife' (we had both agreed that it was appropriate to drop the spoucal terms even though we intended to remain together) and Terrie who had insisted on helping me with my first 'appearance' worked their magic. Although I had insisted on at least a pair of slacks and a toned down top, Kathy and Terrie would not hear of it. "A lady's first appearance should be in a nice dress and accessories." Kathy had stated flatly and of course Terrie had agreed. As for me I was of the opposite opinion and stated so to no avail. It was time to leave and Michelle came into the room with a full length mirror on rollers so that I could see what I looked like in total. As she came into the room all she could do is look at me with wide eyes and put her hand to her mouth to surpress a gasp. "What do you think Michelle? She looks pretty good don't you think? Terrie asked. "Pretty good? I'll say, she looks fabulous." Michelle said. She turned the mirror towards me. For the first time I got to see what I would looked like from now on took my breath away. I could not see any part of Saul Meyer except for a slight hint in the face. Instead I saw a pretty girl that looked no more than twenty five. I'm sure that the makeup had a lot to do with that. I was dressed a dark blue knee length A-line skirt and light blue silk blouse with delicate lace trim piping on the collar. The ample bumps on my chest the result of a pair of 34B breast forms and a padded bra. I was wearing nude pantihose and two inch blue pumps. Small sapphire clip om earrings and a matching gold chain pendant complimented the outfit. My makeup was meticulous and my hair was brushed back into a conservative ponytail that was held in place with a gold barrette. There was no hint of any of the maleness that I was sure would be, or should be present. I wondered how this could be so. As I studied my refection I started to smile. If I had to live as a girl I was sure that I could do so if I continued to look the way I did now. To say that I didn't feel a little strange would be an understatement. As I looked into the mirror I thought back to the days that I had done undercover work in drag. This was a hell of a long way from that. Shaking my head to clear the daydream I turned and looked at the other women present. They were all beeming with appreciation of their handiwork. "So this is it? I said emphasing my looks with my hands. "Wow." Was all Terrie said. Kathy came over and hooked her arm in mine. "Lets go Sweetheart. Your new world awaits." I turned to Michelle who was still holding the mirror. "Thanks Michelle, you have been a good friend. I appreciate all you have done this past few days." "Your welcome Sarah. Come by and say hello when you come in for your checkups." "I'll do that. I said as I broke from Kathy's arm and gave Michelle a hug. The orderly came in with the usual wheelchair and I was wheeled out of the hospital and into the parking lot, Kathy and Terrie on each side of me. As I passed each of the staff that I had come to know I was greeted with well-wishes and applause. My new life had begun. As I got in the car I felt a sense of foreboding come over me as I contemplated what I now had to do. The faces of Moe and his two companions was in my minds eye. ************ I took the two months and got used to my new status. I made quite a few trips out into public either with Kathy or Terrie and each time Kathy insisted that I look as pretty as possible. My entire neighborhood was aware of what had happened but except for a couple of stares from some of the male residents, I was fairly well accepted for what I now was. At first I felt very self conscious and embarrassed but that wore off in due course. It was a Sunday afternoon close to the the end of the second month and I was alone. Kathy had taken Carolyn to see her grandmother and I was busy preparing supper (I had gotten pretty good at cooking meals) when I got a phone call from Virginia. "Hi Sarah, you ready to come back to work?" She said cheerfully. "Hi Boss, where the hell have you been, you haven't been around to see me since I was discharged from the hospital." I said with mock sternness. "I know. I just felt that you needed time with your family without any pressure from me. Terrie has been keeping me posted and from what she tells me your coming along fine. Are you ok with everything?" She asked. "I guess so. Kathy and Terrie have been keeping me busy with all these lessons in how to walk, talk, act, and even think feminine. It doesn't leave me much time to brood over what has happened. Even Carolyn has been getting into the act in her small way. She started calling me Mommy number two. As much as I try to correct her she just continues. I think she is trying to make me feel good." "Mommy two, oh dear, that must be cute." Virginia said with a giggle. "Well it sounds like your well on your way into handling how to be a female so how about it, are you ready to become a detective again?" Virgina said seriously. "What's the rush Captain?" I asked hesitatingly. "Look Saul, er Sarah, I know with everything that has happened to you that I shouldn't be pushing you but you did say you wanted to be in on any bust of the creeps that did that horribly thing to you and we have some indication that the assholes are coming back to town. So I just thought you might..." The comment hit me like a bullet. All the rage that was pent up inside me caused the bile to rise in my throat. Without another thought I responded with an emphatic "Yes! I'll be in tomorrow." "Good, I would like you in by 8:00 am. I'll have Terrie come around and pick you up. And Sarah, don't worry about the reception you'll get here. Everyone is aware of what has happened and everyone is anxious to meet their old friend again." "Thanks Virginia, I appreciate you running "fullback" for me." "Hey, what are old friends for?" See you in the morning." Virginia hung up. I stood there a moment holding the phone and thinking of what I had just been told. I hung up the phone on my second try. My hand was shaking so badly that I missed the cradle on the first attempt. After supper I sent Carolyn out to watch TV. Once we were alone and still sitting at the dining table I told Kathy about the conversation with Virginia. She remained quiet and somewhat withdrawn as I related my conversation and what I had decided to do. "Saul, (she still slipped up and called me by my former name on occasion) I'm scared, if those guys ever find out who you are, I'm worried about what they may try to do to you." Please be careful." "Honey, I'll be careful and I fully intend that they know who I am or was, but in my own good time and way." I said with an end of vengeance in my voice. I could see the fear on her face and I got up from my chair and went to her and held her in a tight embrace. Her trembling subsided and I kissed her. Only as we separated did I smile at the thought of what it would have looked like to a stranger, two women, one in a dress and the other in a skirt and blouse, kissing each other tenderly. ***** Monday morning: I was up at 5:00 AM. By seven o'clock I was dressed and sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Terrie. I could hear the routine activity or more correctly, the commotion that Kathy endured each morning as she got Carolyn ready for school. I was a nervous wreck at the thought of my reception at the precinct house regardless of the captain's assurances. I had elected to dress conservatively for my first venture to the station as a woman. I selected a long charcoal gray skirt that came almost to my ankles and white silk blouse. instead of a necklace I decided on a blue and white paisley design scarf which I tied loosely around my neck. I also decided on plain white undergarments, nude pantyhose and black low healed flats. I had done my