SilkPanties22 Fourth Stab At Humor
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Man talks to his eleven-year-old son about sex...fifth stab at humor...The Talk (Fifth stab at humor in sex)Hello everyone. I know I talked about my ex-wife and mentioned my daughter briefly, but I never mentioned my son. His name is Mike. I just had to bring him up since this being a sex theme site, I was reminded of a talk we had some years ago. You know the talk. Oh yes, that talk. I can't recall how it went exactly, but I think it went something like this. I was sitting around the kitchen...
The second humor based short play I wrote back in 2009...sixth stab at humor in sex...Sex Fantasy TV, A Play (Sixth stab at humor)Scene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show's host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on.Characters:Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show.Debbie:...
Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same drunken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza."You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?""Yea, I ordered the damn pizza.""Extra sausage?" Pete asks."I got...
Humor"You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?" "Yea, I ordered the damn pizza." "Extra sausage?" Pete asks. "I got your sausage," says Joe sarcastically. "What's taking Jose so long, he's usually much quicker?" asks Pete. "What am I, his mother? How should I know?" Joe adds. Suddenly the door buzzer rings. Joe goes over to the intercom and presses the button. "Hello." "Pizza," a voice says. "Alright, come on up." Moments later...
Pete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same drunken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza. "You did order the pizza," Pete asks quizzically, "right Joe?" "Yea, I ordered the damn pizza." "Extra sausage?" Pete asks. "I got...
Beginner’s Meeting, A PlayScene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts.Characters: Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader.Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat.Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep.Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed casually in...
HumorPete and Joe have been friends all their lives. As such, they have shared quite a bit in the 30 or so odd years they have known each other. They shared a neighborhood. They shared a school. They shared friends. They shared the same drunken babe the night of their first sexual experience. They now share an apartment, and in a few minutes they will be sharing a pizza. ‘You did order the pizza,’ Pete asks quizzically, ‘right Joe?’ ‘Yea, I ordered the damn pizza.’ ‘Extra sausage?’ Pete asks. ‘I got...
Scene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show's host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on. Characters: Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show. Debbie: Shapely, young woman in a sequined dress. She points to the prizes on the stage. The Announcer: Deep male voice,...
Scene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts. Characters: Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader. Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat. Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep. Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed casually in jeans and a...
Beginner’s Meeting, A Play Scene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts. Characters: Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader. Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat. Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep. Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed...
Grandpa’s Incest Humor When my grandfather died Mom and I got on a plane and flew out to Oregon to attend the funeral. Mom’s two sisters were on their way too with their daughters. We were met at the airport and taken to a place way out in the middle of nowhere. Mom, Aunt Delilah, and Aunt Dominique were a year apart in age. Oh, Mom’s real name is Daphne. Mom was the oldest at thirty-six, Aunt Delilah was thirty-five, and Aunt Dominique was thirty-four years old. They had a lot...
September 2003 - December 2003 Dad drove me over to Hartsfield International in Atlanta Thursday morning, sometime around the crack of dawn. Mom stayed at home, which was a good thing, because she spent most of Wednesday night and Thursday morning crying. She was a total basket case, even though I was only going to New York. I didn’t want to be around her when I ended up going overseas. I had to be there early, because I was on a very cheap Delta flight, and you had to be there two hours...
Dedicated to fellow writer Clarise. Dear reader, this non-erotic short story is my first attempt at writing humor. If you want a little chuckle read on and then leave a comment to let me know what you think of my effort. If you are looking for something a little more sexually salacious, you might want to look at another offering and then come back when you are in the mood for humor. In support and in solidarity, I dedicate this story to my friend and fellow writer, Clarise, who recently had...
Had it been a week? Yes a whole freaking damn week. Ugh. Why was he so reserved when he had family or friends over? Why didn’t he want me to be over when he had company? I didn't know, but at least he was consistent over the last three years we had been dating. Back up, rewind. Yes, three years dating and we still weren’t living together, a choice made by both of us. It seemed to work except in situations like this, when it had been at least a week or seemingly more since I had his nice hard...
Quickie SexPilar Paloma was arrested by two ICE agents — a man and a woman — around 3:30 on a Monday afternoon. She was across the street from the school that had just let out. Sitting on a bench on Brookside Boulevard, waiting for the Main Street Max to take her to the Crossroads. To the Wrigley, to Walker. In March, 2017 the Kansas City School Board had approved a policy that prevented ICE agents from being on school properties without a warrant. We don’t know whether Pilar had been targeted...
I coach a girls' soccer team. It started as community service. I got pulled over after too many drinks and too few years. I was only nineteen, and my state says you have to be twenty-one. But I had so much fun that I'm still coaching three years later. I started with an eight-year-olds rec program, and now I coach the twelve-and-under town league and help out with the high school varsity. The town league has teams from all over the western part of the state, so some days we have to drive...
Chapter 1A typical Friday. Too many deadlines, too many phone calls, too many emergencies. Although a few of these deadlines and emergencies were the result of my representation of Contrax Industries, I was still looking forward to lunch with Contrax's president, Rick Robertson. While Rick always attended to business, he was also a bit of a "rounder," and damn proud of it. Given my rather staid sexual relationship with my wife, Anne, I enjoyed living vicariously through Rick's exploits.This...
A Freaky Fantastic Fourth By Caleb Jones CHAPTER ONE "It's Clobbering Time!!!" Ben Grimm shouted out to his teammates! It was the Fourth of July and he ought to be celebrating with his friends but instead Ben had been forced to leave the fireworks behind and confront a gang of super-powered thieves calling themselves the Telekinetic Trio. He took the lead position, drawing any weapon fire towards his rather giant-sized target of an orange hued body. Indeed, several guards...
Margie still has the Narrative: July began very quietly... The plumbers and electricians were at work on the new houses, but the remainder of the construction crew were off on paid vacation. The deer problem had been resolved, and the crops in the fields were doing well, as it had rained on Sunday, the last day of June, and again on Monday, the first of July. Thursday, the Fourth of July, was a day of great celebration. My Parents moved the family grill to the O’Connell House here in Fourth...
This happened when I was 22, I was broke and hanging out in my hometown, a large eastern New England city of about 500,000. I was hanging out on what was the main drag looking to see if i could get picked up by a guy for sex. I got a lot of interest but no one was stopping. after about 90 minutes I said "fuck this" and decided to go to a diner about a block away. I cut down a covered alley that cut through a huge department store and started walking up toward the diner. it was chilly and the...
+++++ Fourth Of July Party My wife and I decided to host a family “Forth of July” party on our farm. We have several hundred acres of land and can do just about anything that we want to do. It was planned several months in advance so that I had plenty of time to prepare a field up in the back forty to hold the party. Since the forth was on a Wednesday this year we invited everyone that we knew to spend the entire week and both weekends too. People could bring their tents or...
The next month or so flies by for Donald and Emma. Plans for their pool are developing, and the building of it will soon begin. All the work needed to be done on Emma’s house is finished, and a realtor has placed in on the market. The asking price amazes Emma some as she did not realize the value of the property. The furniture auction is complete, there are still a couple more things to sell, but her bank account is rising substantially. The one-hundred-dollar bills are saved for future...
Love StoriesThe relationship: In retrospect, I should have seen this coming. In the weeks following my decision to open my marriage, as well as my thighs to my husband's best friend, Glenn, the emotional entanglements became more obvious and real. Glenn claimed that he was in love with me. If I am honest, I shared those feelings towards him as well. My emotional connection to Glenn was not surprising since he was only the second man with whom I had made love, and the second man with whom I had ever...
Wife LoversMicha and George on the Fourth of JulyMicha is a very sexy latina girl that I met just a couple of weeks ago. We had already spent several hours exploring and becoming intimately familiar with each other, body and mind. We discovered that we were both bisexual and had discussed a threesome, but made no firm plans. When she called me and asked me to join her and her boyfriend George for a holiday picnic, there was something in her voice that made me wonder. "Is there a threesome in the works?" I...
Penny’s Fourth Day At the end of the third day Bridget told Mr Johnson that Penny had such a big day that there would be no homework assignment for day four. She slipped Mr Johnson a DVD which contained a video of the afternoon class on anal discipline. She said perhaps they could watch it and maybe Penny’s cunt would like some gentle tender attention from both Mr and Mrs Johnson that evening. Penny dozed in the car on the way home, she smelt of hard core anal sex. It was all over her, she...
Over the next four months, Erin, and her husband Joe, continued to have parties at their house. I never really figured out why, but they did. Anyway, every time they had a party, I made sure I was there. I had sex with Erin, Shawna and Billy quite a few times, and it was hot. Somehow, Erin's husband never found out. I could never figure that out, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world though. After a while, it became mostly Erin. I even came over during the week, and fucked Erin's brains...
LesbianThe Fourth Season by Cindi Johnson March 2007 e-mail: [email protected] The First Season: Autumn -------------------------------- Preoccupied with beauty, Mike failed to hear the soft sound of approaching footsteps. "Hon?" Mike froze. He felt as if a knife had slowly, painfully, pushed into his stomach. Pam's one simple word, a word imbued with longtime affection, was today a question with no answer. Dressed in a pale yellow dress, his wife's dress, Mike sat...
Fourth day (conclusion) I had a hard time last night, but eventually I fell asleep, because I woke up with the buzz at my door. It was Sara, who unlocked the door. She explained to me I should have my breakfast first and then I would return to my room and wait for her. She was unusually serious, and this increased my stress level. I did as she asked and, after breakfast I returned to my room, anxiously waiting to see what was this "fate" business. She returned about half an hour...
The next morning, we were up reasonably early. I was sure that many of those who would be at the meeting would need time to recover from the good times that everyone had had yesterday, but I was sure that all of them knew the hangover spell. As a result of getting a good night’s sleep, we were more than ready when Uncle Aengus arrived at 9:30 that morning. “Ah, you’re ready, let’s go,” he muttered in a tired voice, and we three disappeared on joining him. We reappeared in a room that I...
The following new characters make an appearance: Mary Margaret O’Connell (Margie) Katie’s twin Sister, Margie and Robert’s Daughter, Born on the 18 of September 1907, 7 pounds, green eyes, flaming red hair, Siberian Tiger cub Mary Kathleen O’Connell (Katie) Margie’s twin Sister, Margie and Robert’s Daughter, Born on the 18 of September 1907, 7 pounds, green eyes, flaming red hair, baby Dragon Patrick Owen O’Malley O’Connell Grace and Owen’s Son, Born on the 15 of October 1907, 7pounds 8...
“So, first of all, how does everyone feel right now? It seems that this family has a lot of secrets and it’s high time that we let them go. We should all be honest and open with each other as we should have been all along. Here’s my start. My name is Kimberly Louise Gibler, but everyone calls me Kimmy, and I’m ... in love with DJ Tanner. My best friend. My lifelong best friend. I’m far more in love with her than I could have ever guessed. “I’m also in love with Fernando, my fiance who is...
After a big dinner like that, the two pregnant women needed to just sit down and relax. So we did, and of course chatted it up some more in the process.“Who the hell knew that we'd fall in love with our sons so hard?” Alicia wondered.“I guess a gypsy, if you believe in that stuff. That's all I can figure,” I replied.We made sure to feel each others stomachs. It was nice feeling, rubbing another really big stomach, besides my own. Not that I didn't enjoy feeling mine. My stomach was just a...
IncestHumor On! Porn is better when funny. The internet is filled with strange, bizarre, and weird porn, and your boy has gone to the darkest side of the internet to find it, and I’m not even asking for something in return. Fuck the mainstream porn that every other XXX site is serving you, right? Today I’ll be using my expertise to tell you all about the hardcore, bizarre porn, and shocking videos in general that are to be found at Humoron.com or simply Humor On.Even a blind man and his dog can tell...
Funny Porn SitesWe giggled, mixed with trepidation, as both our eyes remained fixed on the microwave, as the courgette turning on the plate as it warmed up.Amy turned and looked at me, as if for reassurance and then her eyes dropped to my hands, fiddling with the condom I took from her fathers packet, 'Take it out and let's look at it', she whispered as if not to be overheard.I opened the silvery foil and fished out the rubber, it was so soft to the touch as my fingers explored the latex rubbery thing that...
Corvino's Defense of Homosexuality By Cal Y. Pygia Note: While it is true that not all transvestites are gay, many profess to be. In any case, this essay is likely to be of interest to many, regardless of their sexual orientation, and to members of the wider gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community, many of whom have gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgender friends themselves. In his essay, "Why Shouldn't Tommy and Jim Have Sex?," which appears in Contemporary Moral...
Sex Fantasy TV, A Play Scene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show’s host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on. Characters: Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show. Debbie: Shapely, young woman in a sequined dress. She points to the prizes on the stage. The Announcer: Deep...
Beginner’s Meeting, A PlayScene 1: A church basement. An odd looking assortment of people are sitting on metal folding chairs arranged in a circle. In the corner is a table with coffee and donuts.Characters: Charles: Middle aged man, about 40 dressed in a plaid sweater. He is the group leader.Pete: a.k.a. Pervert Pete, a graying man of about 60 dressed in a raincoat.Bob: A fidgety man of about 35 who continually clutches an inflatable sheep.Alan: Middle aged man of about 48 dressed casually in...
Sex Fantasy TV, A PlayScene 1: A television studio set sometime in the future. Three couples are seated in front of the main TV camera. The show's host is standing in front of them with a stage behind the host. On the stage are prizes for the contestants. A studio audience is observing the goings on.Characters:Peter Long: Sharply dressed middle-aged man. He is the host of the show.Debbie: Shapely, young woman in a sequined dress. She points to the prizes on the stage.The Announcer: Deep male...
HumorUsui: I'll kill you! Saitou: Try it. Usui: I will! (They charge) Saitou (thinking): The turtle shield! I don't know if there's some trick to it, but there's nothing the Gatotsu can't pierce! (The tip of his sword meets the shield. Usui hears it and moves the shield sharply to the side, glancing the sword away.) Usui: A trick? What did you think, Saitou? This shield is a Timbeh. The curve of the turtle's shell disposes of the enemy's weapon--(thrusting the shield in Saitou's...
This morning, somebody sent me a link and told me it was a good place to find Brazilian transsexuals. I guess my head was still a little bit fuzzy from last night’s binge on Viagra and hookers, so I immediately wanted to know, “How many is a Brazilian?” I understood my mistake as soon as I loaded up the front page of the aptly named Brazilian-Transsexuals. Oh, right! A Brazilian!So, how many is a Brazilian? Well, the digits at the top of the landing page at Brazilian-Transsexuals.com puts the...
Premium Shemale Porn SitesI often read jokes that make me laugh. Then I think about what a good and humorous story they could make. So I decided to write about a few of them. I hope you get a chuckle out of it, or at least a smile. A big thank you goes to Mistress Lynn for taking of her time to edit this story. **** Roy and Martha Simmons had been married for over forty years. Even though they were still in love, Martha always considered Roy a cantankerous old fool. Of course, Roy always felt Martha was an airhead,...
I often read jokes that make me laugh. Then I think about what a good and humorous story they could make. So I decided to write about a few of them. I hope you get a chuckle out of it, or at least a smile. A big thank you goes to Mistress Lynn for taking of her time to edit this story. Roy and Martha Simmons had been married for over forty years. Even though they were still in love, Martha always considered Roy a cantankerous old fool. Of course, Roy always felt Martha was an airhead, even...
“Now you need to go to the Second Valley”. God Demirva told God Bimentia. “Those among the First Hundred would not want to have another bout with Nature because of a new, reckless God”. “You expect me to leave him to the devices of those brats?” God Bimentia’s seven short horns issued crackling sounds as they turned toward the Immortals in the sky, yet again in the stillness that could not keep with a Godly conversation. “Gods really can’t directly interfere in the First Valley, unless...
"What can we do for him?" Jake heard a tearful and worried Sheeka. "Please Trully, please help him!" "I'll do what I can but I am afraid it is mostly up to him, and all of your powers," Trully said a sly smile on her face she could feel that Jake was slightly awake, good then he was able to fight whatever it was. Reaching down, Trully touched Jake on his chest immediately drawing a gasp from her. Blue energy raced up her arm then down the other finally fading when it reached her...
Shay adjusted her red, white and blue sun visor to filter the glare from the bright Texas July sun from her eyes. She enjoyed watching him in her world. Her family and friends were so impressed with Rick. She smiled to herself remembering what her eighty year old Uncle Gip had to say about him. ‘He is all right by me Shay, and one lucky dayum Canadian at that to have you on his arm!’ he scarfed as he swatted at her rose bush with his walking cane. Followed by, ‘ see if he can do something...
Fireworks whistled and popped high in the air, filling the sky with explosions of color, as the ground filled with smoke. Laughter, music and of course plenty of drinks, kept the night going strong. I celebrated the Fourth of July with my main group of friends, relaxing and partying on one of my favorite days of the year. I arrived at the party with Kyle, with whom I’d been hooking up off and on for a few months. We were old friends and once I became single, that quickly turned into a...
Group SexHi pet, today’s game will be easy and quick, so no worries. I know I’ve been demanding lately, I want to ease you into this, even if I know that it’s within you, it’s your nature.All you have to do is to trust yourself to complete this task.Tonight you are going to the gym. You will take your usual class and wear your usual workout outfit. You will wear the outfit before going to the gym, while your change of clothes are already inside your gym bag. You are not allowed to take them out or even...
ExhibitionismThe Fourth TimeWhere was this heading it was getting a little out of hand,This time there was Me & Paul the same age, Billy a year older, and Malcolm still younger than Me & Paul but things would change as we all started secondary school together his Birthday was in a weeks time... Malcolm would be in my class we would all be in our first year at secondary school together apart from Billy he was in his second year,We all lived pretty close which is why we were all friends I lived at...
That night, as Victor drove to the sex shop some miles away from town, I gave him a wonderful blowjob, but making sure he did not cum too fast.When we started to go to some sex shops frequently; we used booths with glory holes by ourselves, not wanting anyone else to join in.As we entered the shop, there were few people in there but it was relatively empty for a Saturday night. Enough people to feel myself getting wet…Victor made some arrangements with the owner at the counter and then he...
DISCLAIMER: All characters in this story are fictional and over the age of 18. SUBJECT: A young masturbation addict is sent to a dominating older female who has a special interest in his secretion. (tags: milf, masturbation, soft femdom, handjob, big tits, older female vs younger male, dirty talk, cum denial, prostate stimulation, milking, bbc, tease)Aunt Michelle’s Secret Formula – Fourth ChapterI climbed upstairs into the room where Flavius was preparing my bed next to the window. There were...
Following on from my meets with the two guys named Tony, I kept on looking on the adult friend site I was a member of for more. A guy from nearby Macclesfield who could accommodate who winked at me first and I winked back in March 2006. And then we started to message each other and I talked with Alan and then talking about meeting so we arranged to meet at his place as I was due to visit Macclesfield on the coming Saturday. On the Friday evening I phoned him at home as directed to finalise the...
David and I have been friends since the second grade, and every weekend we'd take turns spending the night at each other's house. We would stay up late watching tv and play video games. After going to junior high school we discovered something else we could do, and we enjoyed it. The weekend of Fourth of July was no different. We sat up watching tv till his parents went to bed. We waited a few minutes to make sure they weren't coming to check on us, then stripped off our pajamas and underwear....
A young girls journey to womanhoodFourth and final PartAlison came over to the bed, and kneeled across to where Illia and I were embracing. I was feeling her small hard nipples in my mouth and she was caressing and moulding my defined breast and nipples. They became sensitive as she stroked and then she pinched one as she had seen Alison do to me. It made me both wince and get very excited. How did this girl know just what I wanted?“Daniella, put her on her back now” came the controlling voice...
The idea of my wife being gang banged had always been on my mind. I have watched her have sex several times but it was always with just one guy. I brought up the idea of she and I hosting a pool party for the fourth of July. She is always on board for a party so as we talked out the details I mentioned that I'd like for it to be a guy only party. She asked what about me? I said you can be there and if things work out like I want them to you will be gang banged. She smiled and said oh goody. I...
My Fourth of JulyMy boyfriend and me were having some problems. Well, I was having a problem that he wasn’t turning me on anymore. I liked him, but I didn’t want to be with him anymore. There were so many hot guys that I wanted to play with. I wanted to play with others and him, experiment with fetishes like leather, BDSM, lycra/spandex, web camming, etc. And, he thought I was sick and pervie. He wasn’t up for it at all, so when I got a call from a buddy inviting me to a pool party on the...
It's the fourth of July. My family has gone up north to New Hampshire for the holiday. I did not go up with them, because yet again I have to work. But this year, I am not lonely, because you have come up to visit me for the holiday.The house is silent as we make sandwiches in the kitchen. You come up behind me, and kiss my neck, as you press your hard cock against my back. I laugh, as you nibble on my ear a little and your hands wander towards my breasts. I lean back into you, as I pull your...
It was the summer between my ninth and tenth year of high school, some six months after I had been viciously introduced to homosexual relations by my three tormentors. Bruce, Charlie and Daniel had surprised me as I was on my way to watch a fourth of July parade. The three of them encased me and guided me off to the side of a building and warned me if I cried out they would '...beat me senseless before anyone could stop them...' Terrified, yet knowing that what they wanted to do to me was not...
I thought I would share one of the most memorable sexual experiences from my youth. I was fresh out of high school for this one. Several times every summer I would visit my grandparents for a day or so. This particular summer I had spent more time than usual with my cousin after we had fun in the woods over a family thanksgiving. It was the week of the fourth of July and we were at a local campground for some community festivities. After hours of building the sexual tension we were at the beach...