SilkPanties22 Fourth Stab At Humor
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Man pretends to be a woman on an adult story/chat site...
SilkPanties22 (Fourth stab at humor in sex)
One of my newfound hobbies, so to speak, is reading and writing sex fantasy stories on a sex fantasy website. It is a site I stumbled across while innocently reading an article on sex fantasy.
Since joining the site I have found myself fascinated by the number and variety of sex fantasies. It has provided me with countless hours of entertainment. Reading people's fantasies is sort of a way to get into their minds unobserved. I even wrote a few of my own.
Reading through the many varied stories can be rather arousing at times.
While I find most rather boring tales of boy meets girl, boy takes girl to hotel room type encounters, some are rather fascinating. The ones I find most fascinating stimulate me in an intellectual sort of way, but others are just plain arousing. The ones I find most arousing, for me at least, are the girl-girl encounters.
This is no real surprise when I think about it. I was never really a fan of porn movies, my attitude always being that if you have to watch videos of other people having sex there is something missing in your life. The ones that I have seen rarely do much for me. I really don't like seeing men naked on a screen. My attitude is that if I want to see a naked man I can look in the mirror. The only parts I ever really liked were the girl on girl scenes, and there always seemed to be one in every porn movie.
To me, being an unnoticed observer as two beautiful women explore each other's bodies is quite thrilling. I guess it satisfies the voyeur in me. So, I guess it was no surprise that I found the girl on girl fantasies to be the most sexually arousing. Tales of two beautiful women together was something I could easily read for hours. I started to spend a significant amount of time both reading and writing for the site.
This fascination with the site carried over into my time at work. Though I rarely logged onto the site during working hours, I often thought about it. I know the site has what they call a 'boss key' you can press to go back to the previous screen, so it was often tempting. I occasionally logged on during slow periods, but it was only for brief amounts of time.
As I spent more and more time at home on the site, I chatted with various women from around the world. Some of these conversations became quite sexual and very arousing. One day during a chat, a girl told me of an online encounter she had with another woman. She told me she had cybersex with another woman and she found it very arousing because it had been a long time fantasy to be with another girl. I got aroused just thinking about it. I really felt like asking her if she had a transcript of the encounter, but that probably would not have gone over well. I would just seem like some pervert looking for a cheap thrill. Yet, the idea stuck in the back of my mind. I mean, reading these girls conversations as they cyber in real time without being aware of my presence. Hmmm....now that would be something. Alas, it just didn't seem possible. It did make me sorry I didn't get into computer hacking a bit more though.
Though the possibility of me observing two girls cybering seemed like just a dream, it was a fantasy I could not get out of my mind. Even in porno movies the two girls are very aware of the camera. They know they are being observed and are probably never completely at ease. To be able to hack into a computer while two girls are cybering...hmmm. Sort of like peeping through a keyhole while two young women explored each other's bodies. Wow, was my mind working.
The next day at work was a bit slow. I could not get these new thoughts of somehow observing a couple of women in cyberspace out of my mind. No one was around my desk that day. It was lunchtime and I decided to eat at my desk instead of going out. Since I was alone, I logged onto the sex fantasy site. Then it hit me. I almost dropped my sandwich and nearly broke out in a cold sweat. I quick logged out and gathered my thoughts. I knew I rarely used this computer to log onto the site, but was what I was thinking possible? I had to find out.
I put the sandwich down. I went back to the sex fantasy site. This time I did not log on. 'Welcome' the screen read. One of the buttons said 'Join Now'. So I did. Again. I created a new screen name, 'SilkPanties22'. I started to fill out the profile. Hmmm... Sex, 'female, 22 years of age'. Orientation, 'decline to answer'. That should keep them guessing. Kind of like saying you're not straight without really saying it. Real location, 'in your bedroom'.
Of course. I was getting so excited I was shaking. I quickly logged off. Someone's coming anyway. It was my secretary.
"How was your lunch Mr. Walters?"
"Oh fine Barbara."
Jeez, that would be all I need. I would be the talk of the workplace. Bad enough being on a sex fantasy site, but pretending to be a female on a sex fantasy site. I was sure my employer would recommend therapy.
"Anything you need me to do sir?"
"No, not right now Barbara."
I was hoping she would go away. The rest of the afternoon I did not log back on. I just thought about it the whole time.
That evening I did my usual routine of reading the latest fantasies on the site. I chatted with a few of the women but did not dare log onto my alter ego on my own computer. Something about being afraid I'd be discovered if I used the same computer for both screen names. Whether this was a real possibility or not, I did not want to find out.
I could not wait to get back to work the next day. I was even early. After I hung up my coat and grabbed a coffee I logged onto the fantasy site as 'SilkPanties22'. I was shaking, literally.
"Good morning Mr. Walters, you're here early."
"Um, yes Barbara, have some work to catch up on."
"If you need me, let me know."
"Yes, thank you. I will." I said. I was secretly hoping she would get sick and take the rest of the day off.
I logged on. Hmmm....new mail messages. Just the usual welcome to the site stuff. Oh, wait. Here is an alert. 'LacyLady' added me to her Hotlist. Oh My God.... Let's see. 'LacyLady' is a 31 year old bisexual female. I felt a growing bulge in my pants just thinking about it, and nothing even started yet. I quickly logged off.
The rest of the workday was pretty uneventful. I was there physically but mentally I was miles away. I went home that night and did my usual routine of checking out the latest fantasies and even worked on one of my own I was writing. But my mind was elsewhere. Yet, I would not dare log on as 'SilkPanties22' using my own computer.
I was early to work again the next day. I didn't dare log on the whole morning. It just seemed so wrong, yet so right. After lunch my mind was racing. Things were a bit slow in the afternoon so I logged on. Oh My God, a message. 'LacyLady' sent me a message welcoming me to the site. Something about seeing me in cyberspace. Why does 'cyberspace' rhyme with 'on my face'? I could not help but wonder...
I sat intently in front of the computer with my new fake identity when a notice popped up that I have a new chat message. That was not all that popped up. I clicked on it. It was 'LacyLady'. Oh My God.
"How are you?" she asked in the chat.
"I'm fine."
"Welcome to the site. I think you will like it."
"Yes, I think so."
"So, have you ever been with a woman before?" she asked. I could not believe she asked this so soon. I answered honestly.
"Um, yes." I wrote. At least I was honest here. The throbbing in my pants made me want to whip it out and do something that could possibly short out my computer keyboard.
Oh damn...my boss. I quick hit the F9 key.
"Walters, you almost done with those reports?"
"Yes sir, I should have them by early morning."
"Great. Looking forward to it."
Oh, my head was racing and my cock throbbing. I couldn't go back to the site right now. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing the damn reports. When I got home that night I grabbed a Guinness out of the fridge the minute I walked through the door.
The whole idea of what I was doing was so exciting on various levels. I have always been a bit of a bad boy. I always got a thrill from getting away with things, doing what you are not supposed to. This took it to a new level for me. It was an adrenal rush.
I chatted with a few women and read the usual tales of peoples past sexual exploits. My mind was elsewhere and there was nothing I could do about it. As I read the girl on girl stories I thought if I could pull this off. I mean, could I really pass as a woman online? I would soon find out.
The next day at work I logged on to the site early. There was a new message in my inbox from 'LacyLady'. She asked me what happened and told me how she was thinking about me all night. She looked forward to our next encounter. Whoa...down boy! I had no idea fantasy could be so exciting.
After lunch I logged on again. Again I was greeted by a chat screen.
"What happened honey?"
I told her my boss came by and I had to quick get off the computer.
"So, have you ever been with another woman? Did you like it?"
"Yes, I liked it very much." So far I have been quite honest with her. You have to give me that much credit here. I had always thought that if I were a girl I would probably be a lesbian.
"What are you wearing underneath your clothes?" she asked.
"Why, silk panties, of course."
OK, I was lying here. My cock started to throb again. This was more exciting than anything I can remember in recent history. I was elated yet somehow nervous. I had visions of the sex fantasy police bursting in the door and arresting me for impersonating a lesbian. 'But your honor, I love women!' I don't know if that would hold up in court.
"I am getting horny just thinking about meeting a new girl." She wrote on the screen. Heck, I was too. We had something in common. So far, so good.
"I would like to get to know you better too." Again, I was not lying. Far be it from me to lie to the poor girl.
"What do you look like?"
"I am five foot six. 120 pounds. Short blonde hair, blue eyes."
I felt like I had a five foot six boner in my pants.
"I'm a brunette. Five five, 110 pounds. Brown eyes." Sounded good and half of it was true. I was a brown-eyed brunette.
"I keep thinking about you."
"I keep thinking about you too." She had no idea how true that was.
"Walters, is that new contract draft ready yet?"
Oh shit, speaking of boners, it was my boss. I hit the F9 key again. "Should have it within the hour sir." I nervously stuttered.
"Good."
Ah, my new lesbian love interest will wonder what happened to me again.
That evening when I got home I logged onto my computer with my normal, um, male screen name. I checked out the profile of 'LacyLady'. She had been a member three months and it gave her location as being in the Midwest. At least I wouldn't run into her in the local mall. I live on the East Coast. She also had two fantasies. I had to read them.
I started reading her fantasy 'With You Tonight'. She describes how she strokes the neck of her lesbian love and gives her soft kisses. She talks about her womanhood pressing against her lover's. In the fantasy they share underwear and when her lover is gone, she keeps a pair of her panties next to her pillow so she can have her scent nearby.
I was so excited I had to pleasure myself. At least it is something I am good at. I always said if masturbation were an Olympic event I would be up on the stand receiving a gold medal.
Her next fantasy was called 'Lonesome Bubble Bath'. She wrote about longing for her lover while in the tub with her waterproof toys. Heck, my only waterproof toy was my rubber ducky. How could I compete? The next day at work found me busy in the morning with actual work. This kept my mind occupied with something other than sex or food, which was a bit of a change. After lunch I again logged onto my favorite website as my new alter ego 'SilkPanties22'. I was on it for nearly a half-hour before my new love interest made an appearance. Sure enough, I got a chat request.
"How are you today?"
"Horny, of course." Starting off with honesty again.
"When I think of you I touch myself."
"I touch myself too." I wasn't lying.
"I am sooo wet, how about you?" Hmmm....she had me here. The tip of my cock was no doubt soaked with pre-cum so I guess my next statement was not a lie.
"Oh, yes. I am wet too."
"I would love to bury my head between your legs all day long."
Oh, Lord. She had no idea how good that sounded to me.
"I would love to eat you out for hours." I responded, figuring the least I could do was return the favor.
"Walters did you get the schedule ready for tomorrow's meeting?"
Ah, fuck, F9 time again.
"Yes boss, I'm ready." I'm ready alright.
After my boss rounded the corner I went off to the bathroom. I had a meeting with Rosy Palm and her five sisters and I couldn't break it.
The next day at work went fairly smooth. I once again apologized to my cyber love for having a boss. She told me she was into marketing and lived in the Midwest. Her name is really Irene. I told her the truth that I lived in New Jersey. I gave my name as Susan. There had to be a few Susans in New Jersey. The conversation was oddly non-sexual. She seemed more interested in where I lived, what I did for a living, that sort of thing. Like she was really looking for a partner.
The weekend came and went. I spent most of it on the computer reading sex fantasies. At least people knew where to find me and it kept me out of trouble. Cheap too. Come Monday I was back to my usual routine. Slugging it out through the morning with the help of about four cups of coffee, lunch and then like clockwork logging into my computer with my alter ego.
I was getting such a thrill from this. Each time I did it I got so excited I was almost shaking. Once I started with the chat my arousal was hard to contain. This afternoon's chat seemed particularly arousing, the conversations being pure sex talk.
"I was in my bath tub last night." She wrote, "I was thinking about you."
"I think a lot about you." It really is nice to be able to be honest.
"I had my waterproof toys. It felt so good."
"Oh, I know."
"What kind of toys do you like?"
Hmmm....I was going to mention my Tonka truck I had as a k**, but I don't think that is what she meant.
"Oh, the usual. I like them all." When in doubt be vague.
"I want to know what to bring. I'll be in your area in a couple of days on business and I want to get together."
Huh, what? Did I just read what I thought I did? I went silent. I was lost for words.
"Susan, are you there?" she typed.
"Oops, my boss. Got to go. Sorry."
Oh My God. I logged off real quick. I didn't even need to go to the bathroom this time. I felt oddly unaroused. Now what? I wondered.
That night was another Guinness night. I had a tough time sleeping as well.
You would have thought the Guinness would have knocked me out but no such luck.
The next day at work had me thinking all morning. What do I do? What do I say? I have a woman who wants to meet me. That is usually a good thing except this one thinks I am a woman also. That is not a good thing. Maybe I should put a dress on and meet her and make a big scene at the restaurant so she won't want me. No, maybe not. I'll just have to face this situation like a woman. I mean like a man. No, I mean like a woman. Well, you know...
The afternoon came and as usual I logged on as 'SilkPanties22'. Moments later I got the usual chat request.
"Hey, I will be in your area in a couple of days. I would like to hook up with you. I'll bring my toys."
God, it was so tempting for me to say something like great, I'll bring my video camera, but no.
"Uh, we have to talk." I typed thoughtfully.
"Sure baby."
"I lied to you."
"About what?" she asked.
"I actually have a man." I answered.
"What's the matter, you don't like women?"
Ouch, I thought. That hurts.
"No, I prefer men!" I shouted it as I typed.
"Walters you OK?"
Oh damn. It was Smith from the next cubicle.
"I'm OK Smith, thanks." I stuttered. "Just a bad day dream."
"Look," I began cautiously, "The truth is, I am a man."
"Ha, if you don't like blondes be honest." she typed, "I can bring my redhead friend with me and some baby oil. We can have a threesome. It would be hot."
Um. Now what do I do? My mind actually thought about getting a quick sex change. No, that would take too long.
"Look, did I say I was a man. I mean I have a man. The truth is...the truth is, I'm married."
"Oh. Well, why didn't you just say that?" She said, "I can deal with that."
"I just didn't want to hurt you." I sighed.
"Well, that's OK. I'll just have to get together with my redhead friend and use up this new container of baby oil."
"Uh, can I watch. I mean, can you send me a video?" I typed.
"Oh but you're married. You wouldn't want your husband to find out, right?"
Hmmm...Who's playing whom here? This is really a case of the player getting played. Damn, I thought. It ain't easy being a woman either.
"Yes, I guess you're right. It just wasn't meant to be." I added, "You will think about me, won't you?"
"No, not really. It's a shame though. Because you could probably make some woman really happy." she added.
"You know. I think you are right about that." I added, "Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
You know, she is right. I can probably make some woman really happy.
05-29-09.
SilkPanties22 (Fourth stab at humor in sex)
One of my newfound hobbies, so to speak, is reading and writing sex fantasy stories on a sex fantasy website. It is a site I stumbled across while innocently reading an article on sex fantasy.
Since joining the site I have found myself fascinated by the number and variety of sex fantasies. It has provided me with countless hours of entertainment. Reading people's fantasies is sort of a way to get into their minds unobserved. I even wrote a few of my own.
Reading through the many varied stories can be rather arousing at times.
While I find most rather boring tales of boy meets girl, boy takes girl to hotel room type encounters, some are rather fascinating. The ones I find most fascinating stimulate me in an intellectual sort of way, but others are just plain arousing. The ones I find most arousing, for me at least, are the girl-girl encounters.
This is no real surprise when I think about it. I was never really a fan of porn movies, my attitude always being that if you have to watch videos of other people having sex there is something missing in your life. The ones that I have seen rarely do much for me. I really don't like seeing men naked on a screen. My attitude is that if I want to see a naked man I can look in the mirror. The only parts I ever really liked were the girl on girl scenes, and there always seemed to be one in every porn movie.
To me, being an unnoticed observer as two beautiful women explore each other's bodies is quite thrilling. I guess it satisfies the voyeur in me. So, I guess it was no surprise that I found the girl on girl fantasies to be the most sexually arousing. Tales of two beautiful women together was something I could easily read for hours. I started to spend a significant amount of time both reading and writing for the site.
This fascination with the site carried over into my time at work. Though I rarely logged onto the site during working hours, I often thought about it. I know the site has what they call a 'boss key' you can press to go back to the previous screen, so it was often tempting. I occasionally logged on during slow periods, but it was only for brief amounts of time.
As I spent more and more time at home on the site, I chatted with various women from around the world. Some of these conversations became quite sexual and very arousing. One day during a chat, a girl told me of an online encounter she had with another woman. She told me she had cybersex with another woman and she found it very arousing because it had been a long time fantasy to be with another girl. I got aroused just thinking about it. I really felt like asking her if she had a transcript of the encounter, but that probably would not have gone over well. I would just seem like some pervert looking for a cheap thrill. Yet, the idea stuck in the back of my mind. I mean, reading these girls conversations as they cyber in real time without being aware of my presence. Hmmm....now that would be something. Alas, it just didn't seem possible. It did make me sorry I didn't get into computer hacking a bit more though.
Though the possibility of me observing two girls cybering seemed like just a dream, it was a fantasy I could not get out of my mind. Even in porno movies the two girls are very aware of the camera. They know they are being observed and are probably never completely at ease. To be able to hack into a computer while two girls are cybering...hmmm. Sort of like peeping through a keyhole while two young women explored each other's bodies. Wow, was my mind working.
The next day at work was a bit slow. I could not get these new thoughts of somehow observing a couple of women in cyberspace out of my mind. No one was around my desk that day. It was lunchtime and I decided to eat at my desk instead of going out. Since I was alone, I logged onto the sex fantasy site. Then it hit me. I almost dropped my sandwich and nearly broke out in a cold sweat. I quick logged out and gathered my thoughts. I knew I rarely used this computer to log onto the site, but was what I was thinking possible? I had to find out.
I put the sandwich down. I went back to the sex fantasy site. This time I did not log on. 'Welcome' the screen read. One of the buttons said 'Join Now'. So I did. Again. I created a new screen name, 'SilkPanties22'. I started to fill out the profile. Hmmm... Sex, 'female, 22 years of age'. Orientation, 'decline to answer'. That should keep them guessing. Kind of like saying you're not straight without really saying it. Real location, 'in your bedroom'.
Of course. I was getting so excited I was shaking. I quickly logged off. Someone's coming anyway. It was my secretary.
"How was your lunch Mr. Walters?"
"Oh fine Barbara."
Jeez, that would be all I need. I would be the talk of the workplace. Bad enough being on a sex fantasy site, but pretending to be a female on a sex fantasy site. I was sure my employer would recommend therapy.
"Anything you need me to do sir?"
"No, not right now Barbara."
I was hoping she would go away. The rest of the afternoon I did not log back on. I just thought about it the whole time.
That evening I did my usual routine of reading the latest fantasies on the site. I chatted with a few of the women but did not dare log onto my alter ego on my own computer. Something about being afraid I'd be discovered if I used the same computer for both screen names. Whether this was a real possibility or not, I did not want to find out.
I could not wait to get back to work the next day. I was even early. After I hung up my coat and grabbed a coffee I logged onto the fantasy site as 'SilkPanties22'. I was shaking, literally.
"Good morning Mr. Walters, you're here early."
"Um, yes Barbara, have some work to catch up on."
"If you need me, let me know."
"Yes, thank you. I will." I said. I was secretly hoping she would get sick and take the rest of the day off.
I logged on. Hmmm....new mail messages. Just the usual welcome to the site stuff. Oh, wait. Here is an alert. 'LacyLady' added me to her Hotlist. Oh My God.... Let's see. 'LacyLady' is a 31 year old bisexual female. I felt a growing bulge in my pants just thinking about it, and nothing even started yet. I quickly logged off.
The rest of the workday was pretty uneventful. I was there physically but mentally I was miles away. I went home that night and did my usual routine of checking out the latest fantasies and even worked on one of my own I was writing. But my mind was elsewhere. Yet, I would not dare log on as 'SilkPanties22' using my own computer.
I was early to work again the next day. I didn't dare log on the whole morning. It just seemed so wrong, yet so right. After lunch my mind was racing. Things were a bit slow in the afternoon so I logged on. Oh My God, a message. 'LacyLady' sent me a message welcoming me to the site. Something about seeing me in cyberspace. Why does 'cyberspace' rhyme with 'on my face'? I could not help but wonder...
I sat intently in front of the computer with my new fake identity when a notice popped up that I have a new chat message. That was not all that popped up. I clicked on it. It was 'LacyLady'. Oh My God.
"How are you?" she asked in the chat.
"I'm fine."
"Welcome to the site. I think you will like it."
"Yes, I think so."
"So, have you ever been with a woman before?" she asked. I could not believe she asked this so soon. I answered honestly.
"Um, yes." I wrote. At least I was honest here. The throbbing in my pants made me want to whip it out and do something that could possibly short out my computer keyboard.
Oh damn...my boss. I quick hit the F9 key.
"Walters, you almost done with those reports?"
"Yes sir, I should have them by early morning."
"Great. Looking forward to it."
Oh, my head was racing and my cock throbbing. I couldn't go back to the site right now. I spent the rest of the afternoon doing the damn reports. When I got home that night I grabbed a Guinness out of the fridge the minute I walked through the door.
The whole idea of what I was doing was so exciting on various levels. I have always been a bit of a bad boy. I always got a thrill from getting away with things, doing what you are not supposed to. This took it to a new level for me. It was an adrenal rush.
I chatted with a few women and read the usual tales of peoples past sexual exploits. My mind was elsewhere and there was nothing I could do about it. As I read the girl on girl stories I thought if I could pull this off. I mean, could I really pass as a woman online? I would soon find out.
The next day at work I logged on to the site early. There was a new message in my inbox from 'LacyLady'. She asked me what happened and told me how she was thinking about me all night. She looked forward to our next encounter. Whoa...down boy! I had no idea fantasy could be so exciting.
After lunch I logged on again. Again I was greeted by a chat screen.
"What happened honey?"
I told her my boss came by and I had to quick get off the computer.
"So, have you ever been with another woman? Did you like it?"
"Yes, I liked it very much." So far I have been quite honest with her. You have to give me that much credit here. I had always thought that if I were a girl I would probably be a lesbian.
"What are you wearing underneath your clothes?" she asked.
"Why, silk panties, of course."
OK, I was lying here. My cock started to throb again. This was more exciting than anything I can remember in recent history. I was elated yet somehow nervous. I had visions of the sex fantasy police bursting in the door and arresting me for impersonating a lesbian. 'But your honor, I love women!' I don't know if that would hold up in court.
"I am getting horny just thinking about meeting a new girl." She wrote on the screen. Heck, I was too. We had something in common. So far, so good.
"I would like to get to know you better too." Again, I was not lying. Far be it from me to lie to the poor girl.
"What do you look like?"
"I am five foot six. 120 pounds. Short blonde hair, blue eyes."
I felt like I had a five foot six boner in my pants.
"I'm a brunette. Five five, 110 pounds. Brown eyes." Sounded good and half of it was true. I was a brown-eyed brunette.
"I keep thinking about you."
"I keep thinking about you too." She had no idea how true that was.
"Walters, is that new contract draft ready yet?"
Oh shit, speaking of boners, it was my boss. I hit the F9 key again. "Should have it within the hour sir." I nervously stuttered.
"Good."
Ah, my new lesbian love interest will wonder what happened to me again.
That evening when I got home I logged onto my computer with my normal, um, male screen name. I checked out the profile of 'LacyLady'. She had been a member three months and it gave her location as being in the Midwest. At least I wouldn't run into her in the local mall. I live on the East Coast. She also had two fantasies. I had to read them.
I started reading her fantasy 'With You Tonight'. She describes how she strokes the neck of her lesbian love and gives her soft kisses. She talks about her womanhood pressing against her lover's. In the fantasy they share underwear and when her lover is gone, she keeps a pair of her panties next to her pillow so she can have her scent nearby.
I was so excited I had to pleasure myself. At least it is something I am good at. I always said if masturbation were an Olympic event I would be up on the stand receiving a gold medal.
Her next fantasy was called 'Lonesome Bubble Bath'. She wrote about longing for her lover while in the tub with her waterproof toys. Heck, my only waterproof toy was my rubber ducky. How could I compete? The next day at work found me busy in the morning with actual work. This kept my mind occupied with something other than sex or food, which was a bit of a change. After lunch I again logged onto my favorite website as my new alter ego 'SilkPanties22'. I was on it for nearly a half-hour before my new love interest made an appearance. Sure enough, I got a chat request.
"How are you today?"
"Horny, of course." Starting off with honesty again.
"When I think of you I touch myself."
"I touch myself too." I wasn't lying.
"I am sooo wet, how about you?" Hmmm....she had me here. The tip of my cock was no doubt soaked with pre-cum so I guess my next statement was not a lie.
"Oh, yes. I am wet too."
"I would love to bury my head between your legs all day long."
Oh, Lord. She had no idea how good that sounded to me.
"I would love to eat you out for hours." I responded, figuring the least I could do was return the favor.
"Walters did you get the schedule ready for tomorrow's meeting?"
Ah, fuck, F9 time again.
"Yes boss, I'm ready." I'm ready alright.
After my boss rounded the corner I went off to the bathroom. I had a meeting with Rosy Palm and her five sisters and I couldn't break it.
The next day at work went fairly smooth. I once again apologized to my cyber love for having a boss. She told me she was into marketing and lived in the Midwest. Her name is really Irene. I told her the truth that I lived in New Jersey. I gave my name as Susan. There had to be a few Susans in New Jersey. The conversation was oddly non-sexual. She seemed more interested in where I lived, what I did for a living, that sort of thing. Like she was really looking for a partner.
The weekend came and went. I spent most of it on the computer reading sex fantasies. At least people knew where to find me and it kept me out of trouble. Cheap too. Come Monday I was back to my usual routine. Slugging it out through the morning with the help of about four cups of coffee, lunch and then like clockwork logging into my computer with my alter ego.
I was getting such a thrill from this. Each time I did it I got so excited I was almost shaking. Once I started with the chat my arousal was hard to contain. This afternoon's chat seemed particularly arousing, the conversations being pure sex talk.
"I was in my bath tub last night." She wrote, "I was thinking about you."
"I think a lot about you." It really is nice to be able to be honest.
"I had my waterproof toys. It felt so good."
"Oh, I know."
"What kind of toys do you like?"
Hmmm....I was going to mention my Tonka truck I had as a k**, but I don't think that is what she meant.
"Oh, the usual. I like them all." When in doubt be vague.
"I want to know what to bring. I'll be in your area in a couple of days on business and I want to get together."
Huh, what? Did I just read what I thought I did? I went silent. I was lost for words.
"Susan, are you there?" she typed.
"Oops, my boss. Got to go. Sorry."
Oh My God. I logged off real quick. I didn't even need to go to the bathroom this time. I felt oddly unaroused. Now what? I wondered.
That night was another Guinness night. I had a tough time sleeping as well.
You would have thought the Guinness would have knocked me out but no such luck.
The next day at work had me thinking all morning. What do I do? What do I say? I have a woman who wants to meet me. That is usually a good thing except this one thinks I am a woman also. That is not a good thing. Maybe I should put a dress on and meet her and make a big scene at the restaurant so she won't want me. No, maybe not. I'll just have to face this situation like a woman. I mean like a man. No, I mean like a woman. Well, you know...
The afternoon came and as usual I logged on as 'SilkPanties22'. Moments later I got the usual chat request.
"Hey, I will be in your area in a couple of days. I would like to hook up with you. I'll bring my toys."
God, it was so tempting for me to say something like great, I'll bring my video camera, but no.
"Uh, we have to talk." I typed thoughtfully.
"Sure baby."
"I lied to you."
"About what?" she asked.
"I actually have a man." I answered.
"What's the matter, you don't like women?"
Ouch, I thought. That hurts.
"No, I prefer men!" I shouted it as I typed.
"Walters you OK?"
Oh damn. It was Smith from the next cubicle.
"I'm OK Smith, thanks." I stuttered. "Just a bad day dream."
"Look," I began cautiously, "The truth is, I am a man."
"Ha, if you don't like blondes be honest." she typed, "I can bring my redhead friend with me and some baby oil. We can have a threesome. It would be hot."
Um. Now what do I do? My mind actually thought about getting a quick sex change. No, that would take too long.
"Look, did I say I was a man. I mean I have a man. The truth is...the truth is, I'm married."
"Oh. Well, why didn't you just say that?" She said, "I can deal with that."
"I just didn't want to hurt you." I sighed.
"Well, that's OK. I'll just have to get together with my redhead friend and use up this new container of baby oil."
"Uh, can I watch. I mean, can you send me a video?" I typed.
"Oh but you're married. You wouldn't want your husband to find out, right?"
Hmmm...Who's playing whom here? This is really a case of the player getting played. Damn, I thought. It ain't easy being a woman either.
"Yes, I guess you're right. It just wasn't meant to be." I added, "You will think about me, won't you?"
"No, not really. It's a shame though. Because you could probably make some woman really happy." she added.
"You know. I think you are right about that." I added, "Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
You know, she is right. I can probably make some woman really happy.
05-29-09.
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