The Journal Of Samuel (Samantha) Waterman free porn video

Journal of Samuel (Samantha) Waterman January 1; I'm thirteen and thought I would start this journal. I ain't much at writing but I'll give it a try. I think it will be cool. I know boys don't keep a diary so I'm calling it a journal besides it sounds more grown up than a sissy diary. And this way when I tell my grandchildren my tales of youth, like grandpa does, I can say, "see its right here in my journal." Not much happened today, no school. So I thought I'd start this journal, just hope I can remember to keep up with it. As I start this journal I'm the oldest of three children, I have a sister; Jennifer age 11 and a brother; Adam age 8. And of course, Mom and Dad. January 2; I woke up today with a headache and mild cramps but they didn't last long. Went over to Tommy's, I mean Tom's (oops he hates when I call him that "he's not a baby anymore," got to remember that) house. He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. He was very excited and couldn't wait to get me into his room. He closed the door and pulled a magazine out from under the bed. "I found this in the garage," he said, "I think it's my Dads. See it's full of naked ladies and stuff." Sure enough there was a naked lady with her legs spread wide and I saw a hole where her penis should be. Tom pointed to it and said, "Girls don't have a penis they have a vagina." I so wanted to say I know. A few pages later showed a man standing behind her with his, OH! My, his penis was pointed at, no, it was in her vagina. "When men see pretty ladies their penis gets big and hard then they call it a cock," he said. He went on, "Mine gets hard when I look at these pictures so I have a cock too." "What?" I said. "Oh, yeah, see she says right here," pointing to the caption 'She loves a big cock, so that must be what they call a penis when it gets hard like that and because mine gets hard I must have a cock.' He quickly added, "Yours is hard too right?" "Yes," I lied. I felt strange, kind of all tingly down there, but it wasn't hard. We looked at a few more pages then went to find the guys to play some ball. I was "not" in the mood for this today. January 7; Stopped by Toms after school today. We looked at some more of the pictures and he kept going on about how hard he was. He said he had a hard time concentrating at school because he kept thinking about how the girls would look naked. I just pretended to agree. I never ever got hard, I realized. Is there something wrong with me? I decided to ask my Dad, he told me that people mature at different rates and I would soon be going through puberty and would quickly catch up to my friends. That's good because I was beginning to get scared. January 8; Looking at naked ladies did nothing for me. Tom said it gets him hard just thinking about their breasts. January 9; I spent all day thinking about the girls at school, what they would look like naked, nothing. I sure hope puberty starts soon. February 10; I woke up today with my chest kind of itchy, and there was a dull ache, not like a bruise or any thing, just tender when touched. February 18; This is getting annoying; my shirt kept irritating my chest. It was hurting all day. And! I woke up with cramps, pretty bad too. I had to fight the urge to cry several times today when things didn't go quite right. I've got to be tough, boys don't cry! February 23; My chest is still itching may be I should ask Mom. Tom was showing me more of those pictures again. I still didn't get hard. I didn't feel anything at all until I say a picture of a lady and man together then I felt all tingly down there as well as in my chest. Come on puberty, I'm waiting! March 9; Finally my chest stopped itching so bad, I guess I don't have to tell Mom after all. I spent the afternoon with Tom looking at naked ladies again. He said if I showed him mine the he would show me his. I told him maybe some other time. I can't tell him that I'm embarrassed that mine doesn't get hard. Mom bought sis her fist-training bra today. Sis was so embarrassed she just kept turning red every time it even sounded like someone was talking about it. Of course Mom was proud "her little girl was growing up." I don't know why but I kind of feel jealous. Hey wait a minute, why should I be jealous, I don't want to wear a bra. Boys don't wear bras. If anything I should be making fun of her. March 20; Tried checking out the girls again at school, still nothing. I started to think I'm gay or something. But even looking at the boys doesn't do anything. I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't something really wrong with me. My chest is kind of puffy around the nipples. March 28; Stopped by Tom's house again after school and of course he had to look through his Dad's magazines again. I tried really hard to check out the ladies but my mind kept wandering to the men. Every time this would happen I get... well lets just say I start to feel real weird. Am I checking out the men hoping I will some day look like that? I hope so. April 15; Looking back over this journal I realize I don't write as often as I should. Perhaps I should write more when I do write to fill in the gaps? But that's mainly because I don't have much to write about. My chest is still slightly itchy and my shirts still are irritating my "nipples"? Looking at girls and women still doesn't make me hard like it does Tom, but they are defiantly nice to look at. April 22; I feel like I have the flue, achy all over especially in my tummy. When I took a shower I realized my chest was really tender so I had to be careful not to let the spray hit it directly. When I got out of the shower I checked my chest in the mirror, it didn't look quite right. My chest was puffy around the nipples and the nipples were very stiff. I touched them around the nipples they were kind of soft and squishy. If I didn't know better I would think that I was growing breast like the girls at school. But that can't be true because boys don't grow breasts. After the shower I felt a little better but not much. At breakfast I told my Mom I thought I had the flue. She checked me for a fever, but I didn't have one. "I think it's nothing to worry about, I'm sure you'll be fine to go to school," she said. So I went to school, what a mistake that was. I felt lousy all day and kept getting angry and up set at the littlest things. I couldn't seem to do anything right all day. April 23; Ouch, ouch, pain terrible pain. My tummy felt like it was trying to turn itself in side out, like some one had been using it for a punching bag all night. I looked at my clock 4:30!! My Mom wouldn't be up for almost 2 hours yet. I curled up into a ball with one of my pillows snuggled in to my tummy and managed to go back to sleep. I woke up to the sound of my 'Moms' alarm clock 6:45. I heard her go into the bathroom and waited. When I heard her come out I yelled "MOM", even my voice sounded awful. But she came into my room, "Yes honey." "Mom I feel really bad, like some one keeps kicking me in my tummy," I was shaking it was hurting so bad. "Well let's see, hmmm... no fever. Well just to be safe I'll call Mrs. Thomas and see if she can watch you today." Mom came back a few minutes later. "Mrs. Thomas said she could be here about 8 o'clock. Now you be good for her." "Yes Mom, do I really need a baby sitter?" "Well... you're getting old enough that if it was just a day off from school... we can talk about that some other time. For now I don't care if your 18 if you're sick I don't want you home alone." By the look on her face I knew she was quite serious. I managed an "ok." I learned a long time ago it was no use arguing with Mom. I tried to go back to sleep, but ended up just lying there listening to the rest of the family get ready for their day. My brother and sister were having their normal argument about who got the bathroom fist. I heard Mom in the hall, "Really you two if one of you would get up just a few minutes sooner instead of waiting until the last minute you wouldn't have this problem. Now you two quiet down, your brother is sick and I want him to get his rest. Jennifer you go first in the mornings and I want to get up 15 minutes earlier from now on. Do I make myself clear?" Sis responded with a, "Yes Mom." A few minutes later my door burst open. "Don't you know how to knock Adam?" He gave a lame "sorry." "Mom said your sick, I was hopping I could catch what you have so I could stay home too." I wanted to laugh but it hurt too much. "You don't want what I have. It's miserable!" I managed to say. Even I could tell how shaky my voice was. "Well ok," and he was gone again. Leaving my door open in the process. I was just getting up to close the door when my Dad poked his head in. "You all right sport?" "I don't know," I managed through a wave of pain. "Maybe." "Well you don't sound too good, you relax and get better, I'll see you this evening." "Dad?" "Yes Sam?" "Could you please close the door? Adam left it open and I was just about to close it when you came in." "Sure Sam, no problem." It seemed that no sooner then Dad had left when "knock... knock..." "It's Jennifer, can I come in?" "NO! Ooh... ok." Opening the door, "Hey I over heard some of what's going on, you ok?" She looked concerned. "I maybe if everyone would just leave me alone!" I tried to shout but it came out more as a plea. "Sorry I don't mean to take it out on you. I know you just want to help but I just want to be left alone so I can go back to sleep. I don't know what this is but I know you don't want any part of it." She looked like someone had just let the wind out of her sails (where did that come from) "It... it's ok, I... I think I understand. Hope you feel better. See ya after school." "Thanks Jenny." Mom stopped by on her way out, "Mrs. Thomas will be here shortly. I want you to put some pajamas on." "Do I have too?" "Yes, I don't want you forgetting and walk out with only your underwear on in front of Mrs. Thomas and her daughters!" "Yes Mom, ok." I stayed up just long enough to write this all down, and then fell asleep. I woke up about 2:30 with Mrs. Thomas hovering over me. "Oh I see you're awake. Sorry if I woke you, I was just checking that you were all right. Are you feeling any better?" "Maybe a little." "You should get up and have something to eat. I understand you haven't eaten yet today. Need to keep you strength up you know?" "Ok... I'll try. Give me a few minutes." With that she left my room and I decided to get dressed. I wore the usual jeans and a t-shirt. After a few minutes I realized the jeans were too tight so I changed into a pair of sweats. I left my room and walked into the kitchen. Mrs. Thomas was just putting some toast and a glass of milk on the table. "I wasn't sure what you would like to eat so I decided to keep it simple and light." "I'm really not hungry," I protested. "Well you're going to eat at least half. I'm not going to let your mother think I've been starving you all day." Her voice made it sound more of an order than a suggestion, just like my Mom. Do all women do that? "Ok... I'll try, but no promises." She gave me the motherly "you better" look. So I began eating and actually felt a little better after I finished. "Where are Tabatha and Cynthia?" I was curious because I hadn't heard them. "They're in the den taking a nap they should be waking up soon." Before I could say anything. "Your Mother called about an hour ago and she should be home any minute." "It's not like her to take off work early," I said thinking out loud. "She's worried, you don't normally get sick, and you sounded really bad this morning." She thought for a Moment and added, "It's a mother's job to worry about her children." "I suppose..." I was cut off when from the den we heard "Mommy." "Sounds like my angles are up. I better go see to them. Are you going to be all right?" "I think so. You need any help with the girls?" Now where did that come from, I have never volunteered to help with babies before. "No, you just take it easy I can handle them." While she took care of the girls I went my room and started writing in my journal again. I don't know why I'm writing so much today, it just feels that it is something that I have to do. Got to stop Mom's home. 6:30 just got done talking to Mom, now I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. And Mom says bring my journal. Time to finish the day's entry. I wonder if this is a world record for the longest journal entry for a single day. Mom came into my bedroom, "How are you feeling?" "Ok I guess... a little better than this morning." "That's good," she began, "tell me where it hurts." "Well..." I began, then for some reason I felt a need to unload. "My tummy is really sore, it feels like someone has been using it as a trampoline. I also have bad cramps in the same area. My head hurts but I can't actually say where. I tried to put on some jeans and they were too tight. And I feel like I want to cry and scream at the same time." "Hmmm," she seemed lost in thought for a few minutes. "When did this start?" "Hmm... yesterday," I meekly managed to reply. Now she really looked concerned. She seemed to realize that I wasn't telling her everything. "Has happened before?" Her voice sounded somewhere between her 'I'm scolding you and I'm worried voice'. I knew I had better come clean and tell her everything. "Well umm... umm... it... it... ooh... it's happened... umm... t... t... two other times. But not this bad." I was having a hard time talking about it. "I'm sorry this is so hard." I began to cry. "I know, but I need to know." She sounded concerned. "This is an emotional thing for you, isn't it?" "Yes, and I don't know why." I was trying hard not to cry. But it was getting really hard to talk without crying. I reached under my pillow and grabbed my journal and handed it to her. "Here, I don't know if I can talk right now, it's all in here anyway." It took her about 10 minutes to read through my journal. "Well Sam, I'm glad you're keeping a di... umm... journal. I'm not sure I believe what I've read. But I defiantly would not have believed it if not for this," she said as she held up my journal. "Take off your shirt, I want a look at your chest." I took off my shirt and tried to use it to cover my chest. She gently pulled my hands and shirt away from my chest. "Let's have a look. Umm... well... umm..." She poked and lightly squeezed my chest. When she brushed my nipples I flinched. "Did that hurt?" "Sorry, I couldn't help it, no it didn't exactly hurt it was a reflex." My nipples were now very stiff. "Yes, I know what you mean, I think I have something that might help. Keep your shirt off, I'll be right back." She returned a few minutes later caring something white. "This is a camisole, it's a little big for you but it should help keep your chest form being so irritated. Put it on first then your t-shirt. This bow goes in front. Now get dressed, I'm going to make a phone call." I took the camisole and began to put it on, I knew it was a woman's garment but arguing with Mom is useless and I was getting desperate for relief. After getting dressed I walked out into the living room and could over hear Mom on the phone. I know I shouldn't be listening but I couldn't help myself. "No I don't think so... yes... no... yes just like Jenny... all the symptoms yes... except that yes... no not in my family but I'll check with Jason... yes I agree... 7 o'clock? Yes that makes sense... yes we'll bring it... ok see you tomorrow then by." Mom hung up the phone. She picked up the phone again. "Jerry? This is Carol... He's doing ok... I've made a doctors appointment for him in the morning so I'll be late coming in... no I'm not sure when but I'll call as soon as I know... ok, thanks I'll talk to you tomorrow." She hung up the phone. She was surprised to see me standing there. "Sam, good I was just coming to talk to you. I've made us an appointment to see my doctor. You need to be ready to go by 6:30 tomorrow morning, even if you don't feel well." "I heard, sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop, you were talking about me and I just couldn't help it." "It's ok, this time. Don't let it happen again," she added sternly. "Yes Mom." She started for the kitchen and added, "And bring your journal with you tomorrow." I followed her into the kitchen, "Mom?" "Yes Honey?" "Please don't say anything to get Tom into trouble," I pleaded "I won't, even though I think you two are too young for that sort of thing," she replied. "Are you mad?" "No just a little disappointed, but I know it's only natural to be curious." She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle and handed me two tablets. "Here take these, it will help you feel better." "Thanks Mom." I looked at the tablets, "What's Midol?" "Just something to help with your cramps and other aches and pains." "Oh," is all I managed, and grabbed a glass of water and washed the pills down. A few minutes latter Jenny and Adam got home. "Mommy!" They both sang as they ran to give her a hug. "Is Sam better?" Jenny asked. "Hey I'm right here you know!" "Now Sam I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you. I know you're grumpy but your going to have to exercise a little more patience right now." she said sympathetically. "He should be fine in a couple of days. We will know for sure after we talk with Dr Rutherford tomorrow." "Isn't that our?" "Yes she is," Mom cut Jenny off before she could finish. "Jenny come help me with dinner. Sam take Adam into the den and help him with his home work." "Mom won't Sam make me sick," Adam wined. "No he's not contagious, you can't catch what he has. Sam remember be extra patient, if you have to come get me." "Yes Mom." How does she know I'm not contagious? The rest of the evening was pretty much normal. Mom came into my bedroom shortly before bedtime with a glass of water and two more Midol "Here take these they will help you sleep. Are you feeling any better?" "A little, the cramps aren't so bad and the headache is gone." "Good, Sam, don't forget we need to leave here at 6:30. Wear your sweats tomorrow you'll be more comfortable." "Thanks Mom, sorry I've been so much trouble." "You haven't been any trouble" she came over and gave me a hug it had been so long since I hugged her it felt really good. "Good night Honey," and with that she left my room. April 24; We got the doctors office a few minutes before 7 "Give me your journal and sit down over there, I'm just going to check in with the receptionist." She came back without my journal and sat next to me. I was startled with a, "Beverly you can back now." "Why did she call you and not me?" "We will explain later," was all Mom said. The Doctor was a nice looking lady about my Moms' age. "So, this is our special patient, you know being a gynecologist I don't normally see young men. But your mother's story intrigued me and after reading your journal I agree with her," she said. She pointed in to a room. "Sam, please undress and put the robe on your Mom and I'll be back in a few minutes." I was getting really bored so I started to looking for things to read but could only find stuff on "Women's" health." By the time they came back I was getting more than a little scared. "Well," the doctor said, "the gown is supposed to tie in the back, but with what we need to look at tying it in front will probably work better anyway." She helped me onto the exam table. "Now Sam I need to give you an examination, I'll be touching you in some places you may find uncomfortable. I'll only touch where I have to and only how I need to, understand?" I gave Mom a glance and she nodded. "Yes doctor." She opened the gown and looked at then felt my chest. "Yes I see what you mean. Sam have you been taking any drugs?" "No!" "Ok, I'm sorry but I had to ask. Lie back and I'll check out your abdomen." She helped me lie down then she poked and prodded. "Let me know where it hurts." I gave a grunt every time she near the center of my abdomen especially just below my belly button. After making sure it was plugged in she wheeled over a machine. "This is an ultra sound machine, it will help us see what's going on inside." She picked up a bottle of something. "This is going to be cold, but it should warm up quickly." She squirted some clear jelly stuff on me then began to pass something over by abdomen while she watched the screen on the machine. After a few minutes, "Ok, I think that should do it. Go ahead and get dressed Sam and come next door." She flipped a few switches on the machine, took a tape out and her and Mom left the room. I got dressed and went to the next room, I could hear them talking but couldn't make out what they were saying. I knocked. "Come in Sam, Have a seat next to your mother." Once I was seated she continued, "Sam I've been talking with your mother and I think the best way put this is you're a very unusual young man. You have a very rare condition; so rare I'm not even sure what they call it. Um... do you know what menstruation is?" "Kind of, they went over it in health class but because it was about girls I didn't really pay attention." "That's understandable, boys really don't understand or want to know about it because they don't have to go through it." He looked over at his mother; she nodded and put her arm around me. "Well Sam, in your case menstruation isn't just about girls." It felt like all the blood had left my head "W... what?" Mom held me tighter; I moved over to her, her eyes were red and watery. She was crying. "Mom?" "Just listen to the doctor Sam, it will be all right." Dr Rutherford looked serious but concerned. She flipped a chart around so I could see it "Sam do you know what this is?" It was the female reproductive system. "Yes, it... it's the insides of a girl." "Close enough. Sam, this is going to be hard for you to hear or even believe. You may look like a boy on the outside, but on the inside this is what you look like. The only thing you are missing is the vaginal opening here." She pointed to the picture. "Now during the menstrual flow the fluids leaves the body through the vaginal opening. Because you don't have one your fluids are collecting in the uterus, that's what's causing your abdomen to be so sore. What we need to do at this point is to get those fluids out of you as soon as possible. Unfortunately you'll have to go to the hospital to have it done. I'm going to make arrangements so your mother can take you to the hospital this afternoon. Please take comfortable cloths. Pajamas will be fine. I will see you this afternoon after I get done with my patients here. Ok?" "Yes ok," Mom replied "I'll call as soon as I can get the arrangements made." "Thank you Dr." With that we left the doctors office and headed for home. When we got to the car, "Mom, we forgot my journal." "Wait here, I'll go get it." When she got back, "Thanks Mom. Mom I'm scared." "I know Honey, I know so am I." We drove home is silence. When we got home I ran to my room, threw myself on my bed and cried myself to sleep. I woke up about 1 o'clock. I found Mom in the kitchen. "Mom?" "Yes Sam." "What's going to happen?" "I don't know Honey, I wish I did." Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry!" I said as I began to cry again. Mom managed to compose herself. "Why are you sorry?" "For... for... for making you cry. For causing so much trouble." I managed through my sobs. "Nonsense! You didn't make me cry. I'm crying because I feel helpless. Because I don't know how to fix this for your. You didn't cause any trouble, you didn't ask for this. You didn't do anything wrong. Actually according to Dr. Rutherford you did something very right by keeping your journal. without the journal they might not have found the problem until it caused you some serious problems. So you see you don't have anything to be sorry for." "Mom? Dr. Rutherford is a women's doctor isn't she?" "Yes dear, she is. With your symptoms, she was the only one I could think of." "Mom, does this mean I'm going to turn into a girl?" "I don't know sweet heart, even Dr. Rutherford doesn't know. She called while you were sleeping and she has you scheduled to go into the hospital at 10 o'clock tomorrow." There was a very puzzled look on her face "They're going to be running some tests to find just what's going on and the best way to fix it. Would it be so bad if you had to be a girl?" "I don't know. I don't think I want to be a girl. I don't know how to be a girl, is it hard? I've been a boy all my life. It's kind of scary." "No, isn't hard. Different, but I don't think it's hard. Your Dad and I will be there to help you through this. If it comes down to choosing between being a boy or a girl the choice will be yours and we will always love you either way. Never doubt that, ok?" "Ok Mom." "Now let's pack some cloths so you don't have to wear those hospital gowns, that way we don't have to worry about it in the morning." "Ok, sure," and with that we picked out my two favorite pairs of pajamas and some underwear and put them into an ever night bag. With that done, "You need something to take your mind off of your troubles," she said rather thoughtfully. "Come help me in the kitchen." "Ok." When we entered the kitchen Mom said "we're going to make some feel good food. Now get the stew pot out." As I got the pot Mom was digging through the freezer and came out with a package of chicken. She unwrapped the chicken and put it in the pot. "Now fill the pot half full of water and put it on the large burner and set the burner to medium." Then she had me add some salt, pepper and onion and a few other seasonings. "What are we making?" "You are making one of your favorites, chicken and dumplings." "Me?" "Yes, it's the best way I could think of to keep you busy and to take your mind off your troubles." She was actually smiling! "Oh," was all I could manage. I had never cooked with Mom before. "All right, while that is cooking let's make desert. How does pineapple upside down cake sound?" "Sounds great!" Again I was the one to make it. She directed and watched as I carefully measured everything. About an hour later we finally got it into the oven. "Now that needs to bake for about 45 minutes before we can check it so now would be a good time to clean up most of this mess." As quickly and as quietly as we could (we didn't want the cake to fall) Mom and I cleaned everything up. By the time we were done it was time to check the cake. She taught me how to check it with a toothpick. "It's coming along just fine but it still needs a little more time, the toothpick should come out clean." About that time Jenny and Adam got home, slamming the front door and running into the kitchen "That smells good, what are you making?" They both said excitedly. Mom saw my anger and the tears forming, "Don't worry Sam it's in do danger of falling now." To my siblings she calmly said, "Sam is making dinner." They just stood there with their mouth open. Finally Jenny found her voice, "Sam?" "Yes, Sam and he also made desert," Mom replied with a sound of pride in her voice. "Mom why did you take Sam to see Dr. Rutherford?" Jenny asked, "I thought she only sees girls? Is Sam turning into a girl?" "Jenny!" Mom sounded angry. But it was too late I collapsed into a chair, burring my head in my arms and bawled. "You two sit down and shut up!" Then she came around and put an arm around my shoulder "Sam it's time to take the cake out of the oven. Put it on the cooling rack then come and sit down." While I was taking care of the cake, Mom got us all a glass of milk and some cookies. Once we were all back at the table Mom began, "Sam, I know this is going to be hard to talk about, but we need to get it out so it doesn't ruin this wonderful diner your making." "Yes Mom," I managed to get out. "First off Sam is not turning into any thing. Sam is a wonderful person." "But Dr. Rutherford is our guy... guyn..." Jenny couldn't say it "our girl's only doctor." "Yes I took him to see our gynecologist. Sam is having some problems that boys normally don't have." Mom was speaking quietly but sternly. "What type of problems?" That's Jenny, always 1000 questions. Mom looked at me with and I'm sorry' expression. "He's menstruating, for some reason Sam was born looking like a boy on the outside but on the inside he has girl parts." Jennies' eyes were as big as diner plates. "Oh wow, then he is a girl." "We don't know" Mom said with a shaky voice. "Because his body can't pass the menstrual flow properly, I'll be taking Sam to the hospital tomorrow so they can take care of it. He will be in the hospital for a few days and they will be running a lot of tests to see how we can fix Sam up good as new." Adam finally found his voice. "Mom am I going to turn into a girl too?" "I don't think so, what Sam is going through is extremely rare. Once Sam is better we will have you checked out just to make sure." "Ok Mom I hope I don't turn in to an old girl! That's the worst!" "That's enough Adam. Being a girl is 'not' the worst! Jenny and I are both girls and you don't hear us complaining, do you?" "No Mom," Adam answered quietly. "Now whether Sam is a girl or boy he is still your sibling and you will not tease him about this. Do you both understand?" "Yes Mom," Jenny and Adam said simultaneously. "Good now you two go into the den and do your homework, Sam needs to finish diner." With that they were gone and it was just Mom and me again. Mom showed me how to bone and cut up the chicken. "Make sure you get all the bones out now," she directed. Once the chicken was back in the pot we added frozen vegetables and brought the temperature up until it was boiling again. Then she had me remove a half cup of the broth and pore it into a bowl, we add a half cup of milk and a tablespoon of flower. I stirred this until all the lumps were gone then stirred it into the pot of chicken and vegetables. "That will help the broth to thicken, now we need to make the dumplings." Once that was done I dropped them into the pot by spoonfuls. "Good now put the lid on the pot and we will let that cook while we clean up some of this mess." I must admit I was having fun making diner and it defiantly kept my mind off my troubles. But there was a lot of cleaning involved with cooking. Just as we were finishing cleaning Dad walked in. "That smells wonderful, what's for diner?" "Ask Sam, he made it," Mom said simply Dad raised an eyebrow. "Well Sam?" "Umm... it was Mom's idea, chicken and dumplings." "I thought it was a good idea that we spent some time together," Mom added. "Well if it tastes half as good as is smells..." He didn't get a chance to finish because Jenny and Adam came into see their Dad. "Daddy!" "Hi kids." Before anything else could be said, "Jenny you and Adam go set the dinning room table," Mom told them. Dad turned to me. "How's it going sport?" "Ok I guess, I'm feeling better but I'm kinda scared." "I bet you are. Tell you what you and I will have a man to man talk after diner. Ok?" "Sounds good Dad." Diner was about normal, the usual chitchat on how everyone's day had gone. I was feeling left out and I guess Dad noticed. "Delicious diner Sam, just like your Mom makes." "Well Mom really helped a lot. I only did what she told me to do." "Don't sell yourself short, this is really good." "Umm... thanks, umm... leave some room for desert though." "Oh?" he asked "Umm... yeah I made pineapple upside down cake too." "Really? Sounds like you had a busy afternoon." "Yes very busy but it was kind of fun learning to cook with Mom." "You should feel honored, your Mom won't let me near the kitchen," he chuckled. "Now Jason," Mom quipped. "You know we agreed a long time ago you don't mess up my kitchen and I'll leave your barbeque alone" she laughed. "Besides it's a mother's job to make sure her children know how to feed themselves." "Ok... Ok... I give," came Dads light hearted reply. "So where is this desert?" Mom got up. "Jenny, give me a hand." "Coming Mom." The cake was served and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Dad cleared this throat. "That was a wonderful diner. I think it's time for Sam and me to have a talk." "Yes I think it is," Mom replied. "Jenny, Adam come help me with the dishes." "Aw Mom do I have to?" "Yes Adam you have to," Mom said as she started clearing the table. Dad and I left the dining room. "Sam you might be more comfortable in your bedroom, what do you think?" "I guess so." When we got to my room Dad closed the door. "Your Mom and I had a long talk while you were napping earlier. I'm proud of you Sam." "Why? Because I'm some sort of freak?" I started to cry again. "No... no you're not a freak. I'm proud because, instead of locking yourself in your room hiding from your troubles you got in and helped Mom with diner." "Oh." I tried to stop crying but it wasn't working. "Sam I'm not going to lie to you. The next few days are going to be pretty tough and more than a little scary. It doesn't mean your any less of a man if you cry. Lord knows I want to cry." "You do? Why?" "Because I'm your father and fathers are suppose to protect their children but I couldn't protect you form this. Oh I can be there to comfort you, support you and help but I can't fix it for you." "Mom said the same thing." "I know she did." "Dad, am I going to be a girl?" "I don't know, that is a possibility. I want you to remember, whether you're a boy or girl you're still my child and I will love you either way. Don't ever doubt that, never doubt that I love you." "Yes Dad I won't." "Sam, I want you to promise me something." "What Dad?" "Like I said the next few days at least probably longer is going to be tough and sooner or later you may have to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. I want you to be brave and face it the way you faced today. Cry if you need to but please don't shut down and try to hide from it. Your mother and I will be there to help you as well as a lot of other people you haven't met yet. In the end if you face this head on, you'll be a stronger and happier person for it. Do you understand?" "I... I think so," my voice sounded shaky. "I'll try." "I know there will be times you'll want to give up, if that happens I want you to ask for help, ok?" "Yes Dad, I promise." I started feeling a little better; at least I didn't feel as though I needed to cry anymore. "Dad why is this happening?" "I don't know, we may never know. But we will get through it, ok?" "Looks like I don't have any choice," I pouted. "No I guess you don't, but you're a strong person. I'm sure you'll get through it just fine." "I hope so." "I know you will. Is there anything else you want to talk about?" "No, I don't think so." "Ok then, why don't you get some sleep? Tomorrow is likely to be a stressful day." Dad started to leave. "I'll see you after work, ok?" "Ok Dad, good night." Alone with my thoughts. Sleep was the last thing on my mind. All I could think of was "why?" Was God punishing me? I prayed for an answer. The answer never came but sleep finally did. April 25; I'm trying to write this all down before they come to start the procedure. I understand that I'll probably seep through the night when they do. Mom woke me up about 8:30. "Sam... Sam time to get up" "Wa... what time is it?" "It's 8:30 sleepy head." "Sorry I must have forgotten to set my alarm." "No I turned it off when I got up. I wanted to make sure you got enough sleep." "I must have been really tired, I didn't hear Jenny and Adam fighting over the bathroom." Mom just smiled. "Well, take a shower and get dressed. We need to leave in about an hour." After showering I got dressed and put my journal in the bag with my cloths. I found Mom in the kitchen. "Here I pored you some coffee. I'm sorry but your not suppose to eat any thing solid until after the procedure this afternoon." "Oh." Once we finished our coffee it was time to go. Once we were on the road, "Mom, is God punishing me?" "I don't think so, why do you ask?" "Because I can't think of another reason for this to be happening." "I don't think he is punishing you but rather helping you." "How so?" "Well Dr. Rutherford said if it wasn't for your journal it would have taken a lot longer to figure out what was going on. The doctors would have passed it off as the stomach flue or something. Do you think it is strictly by chance that you started your journal about the time this problem first occurred?" "Well I don't know," and I really didn't either. "I think that God gave you the idea to keep a journal and you listened to him." "Maybe, I hadn't thought of that." We drove for a while then "Mom I'm scared." "I know Honey, I would be surprised if you weren't scared." By that time we were pulling into the hospital parking lot. When we walked into the lobby we met Dr. Rutherford. She handed Mom a clipboard. "These are the admittance and permission forms. They're all filled out all you have to do is read them over and sign them. You can do that while we get Sam settled into his room." "Ok Dr. Rutherford, please show the way." "Please call me Rachel, that goes for you too Sam." Walking through the hospital maze we finally got to my room. "You know Sam," Rachel began. "Because I don't have young men as patients we're going to have to make you an honorary lady." I just stood there with my mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out, tears forming in my eyes. Mom was the first to speak. "Um... Rachel that's one of the things he's scared of, that he will leave the hospital in a few days as a girl." Rachel looked like some one had just slapped her in the face. "Oh! I'm sorry Sam, I didn't think. I know this must be hard for you and I certainty don't want to make it worse." I finally found my voice again. "It's ok Dr. um... Rachel, you just caught me by surprise. With my menstrual problems I'm not exactly a typical boy am I? So I guess I can be an honorary girl." Both Mom and Rachel stood there totally flabbergasted. Finally Mom sounding like she was going to cry "Sam" as she came over and gave me a big hug. "Yes Sam, I can see you're defiantly not a typical boy," Rachel said in a very unsteady voice. "Well then young lady," she gave me a wink. "It's time to get you changed. Did you bring a bathrobe?" "Yes Mom made sure I did." "Good that will be easiest. You'll be having a lot of tests today that you'll need to be undressed for, so all you'll need is you underwear, slippers and the robe, ok?" "Yes." With that Mom and Rachel started going over the paper work so the tests could begin. Shortly after I finished changing Mom was finished with the paper work. Rachel took the clipboard. "Ok ladies," she gave me a wink again and I couldn't help but giggle. "I'll be back in a few, it's time to get the ball rolling," she said on her way out the door. Mom turned to me with a look of concern. "Sam, are you sure you don't mind being called a young lady?" "Well when Rachel first said it I was terrified, all I wanted to do was run and lock myself in the bathroom but I couldn't make my legs move. I wanted to scream and I felt like crying but I couldn't. Then after you told her my fear, I remembered what I realized last night, that I'm actually both a boy and a girl, so she was right and if it wasn't for my girl parts I wouldn't be here. After she apologized I asked myself 'why should I be afraid of what I am?' and the answer was that I shouldn't be. Does that make any sense?" "Yes, I guess it does, and that was very mature thinking, I'm proud of you." "Thanks Mom, but let's keep that a secret." I gave her a wink. We were still laughing when Rachel came back in. "I see Samantha is in better spirits." "Hey!" I frowned. "I'm not a girl yet." Then I giggled, "Well if a girl I must be Samantha is cool, I could still be called Sam." "Well young man," Rachel began, "the nurse will be here in a few minutes to get some blood samples than it will get busy from there." "That's young lady," I pretended to be mad and stamp my foot. Giggling again. "Oh Rachel I don't mind being called a young lady or even a little girl but I'm not ready to change my name. At least not until the verdict is in and the jury says we find the defendant 100% girl or will it be a doctor bringing me to Mom saying 'congratulations Mrs. Waterman it's a girl'. Ok Dr Rachel?" "Alrighty then young lady." She turned to Mom. "Has she always been this way?" "OOH! Yes she's always been a handful." Mom looked like she could cry, "That's why this seems like a bad dream, I've never seen a young lady have a much energy as he does so he must be a boy." I ran over to Mom and gave her a hug. "It's alright Mommy I'm scared too. I'm just pretending to be a big girl." Then Rachel spoke, "I think you have a very brave young lady there, Beverly." "How can I be so brave? I'm terrified!" Mom looked into my eyes. "Being brave has everything to with being scared or terrified, bravery is being scared and still doing what needs to be done to the best of your ability." "But I wasn't trying to be brave." "That's just it brave people don't try to be brave, they just are." "Oh," was all I managed to get out before the nurse was knocking at the door. "I'm here to take some blood samples." Mom gave me a wink. "Then this young lady is your victim." The nurse looked confused. "Sorry I have the wrong room I was looking for a young man named Samuel." "Nope, right room, that's me honorary young lady." I winked at Rachel. "You see this nice doctor here won't let me be her patient unless I'm an honorary lady because gynecologists don't have boy patients. Right Dr. Rachel?" "Yep that's right," Rachel chuckled. As the nurse was setting up I looked at the tray of vials "Oh no the vampire nurse is going to take all my blood!" The nurse caught on to the attempted humor. "Yep and by the time we're done with you miss you'll be an honorary lady vampire." I pretended to faint, and then giggled reading her nametag. "Ok Nurse Carol I'm all yours, drain me." I found out Carol was going to Be one of the nurses to take care of me so as she filled the vials by draining my blood as I explained why I was there. "Now keep it a secret, I don't want every to know ok." She was writing something on my chart "Alright," she said. "Oh rats! We're two drops short of turning you into a vampire." I gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks Carol, I didn't need any MORE problems just now." I gave her a big smile and a wink. Then the tests really started. First I was weighed, and then measured "every where". Then I was poked and prodded again everywhere. I was x- rayed. I was put in this noisy contraption they called an MIR. Last I had a very thorough ultra sound. I was beginning to feel like a lab rat. Finally all the tests were done for the day and I went back to my room. "Daddy!" I ran and gave him a big hug. "Woo there! Sport. You're going to knock me over." "Sorry Daddy, I'm just glad to see you." "What's with calling me Daddy all of a sudden?" I gave Mom a shy look. "Well you see Dr. Rachel doesn't see boys as patients and I really, really like her and want her to stay my doctor until this is over, so she made me an honorary young lady so she could stay my doctor. Sooo I'm just having fun playing the part." "So then young lady does this mean you want to be a girl?" "No I don't think I want to be a girl. But I can't make that decision until all the testimony is in and the case goes to the jury. Then the jury has to come back with its verdict. No I haven't decided this just helps keep my mind off of being scared." "So then who's on this jury?" "Well for now you, Mommy, Dr. Rachel and me," I grinned. At that Rachel came in followed by an orderly pushing a gurney. "I hate to break up this family moment but it's time to get started." "Ok Rachel if I must," I pouted. "Oh yeah, Daddy this is Dr. Rachel, Dr. Rachel this is my Daddy." "Pleased to meet you Mr. Waterman. You have a remarkable child here. Ok Sam up on the gurney." I have Mom and Dad a hug and climbed onto the gurney. "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow, they plan to give me a major Mickey to make me sleep all night." And they wheeled me a way. I was wheeled in to this room and left me there. I was about to fall asleep out of boredom when Nurse Carol and a doctor came in. The doctor explained where they were going to put the tube and that it would be tender there for a few days after. He also told me they were going to put in a catheter and I may have some discomfort going to the bathroom for a couple of days. While he was talking Carol was hooking up an I.V. as she put the I.V. in my arm I asked, "Is there any good news?" It was Carol that spoke, "Well, you'll sleep through everything. You'll wake up in your own room and all the tubes will be gone. And your mother will probably be there when you wake up." With that she injected a syringe into the I.V. and said, "Good night sweetie." "Good night vampire nurse." I started giggling. I don't know why I am giggling all of a sudden but I suppose it helped me feel better. April 26; I struggled to wake up. I was in bed in a semi-seated position. It was a major effort to open my eyes. I had no idea what time it was "Mom" my voice sounded terrible. "Yes Honey." Good I felt better that she was there. "Thirsty," I croaked. Mom Held the glass and fed me sips of water. "Thanks Mommy that's better." "Good morning sleepy head. I was beginning to think you were going to sleep all morning." "I hope you got the license number of the truck that ran me over." I tried to sit up. But Mom wouldn't have any of that. She gently pushed me back. "Easy there give yourself a chance to wake up. It's going to take a while to shake off that 'Mickey' they gave you last night." Carol came in. "I see our angle is awake." "Angle?" "Yeah the night nurse said you slept like and angle all night." "That was just the Mickey you slipped me last night." "Well you were such a bundle of energy yesterday we had to do something to slow you down." "But did you have to give me so much of it? I can still hardly move." I stuck out my lower lip like I was pouting. "Just keep moving and stretching your arms and legs and you'll be up and around before you know it," Carol said. "It's time this I.V. came out." She removed the I.V. and bandaged my arm "It shouldn't bleed long so the bandage can come off in a couple of hours. Talk to ya later Angel." She gave me a wink and was gone. "Mommy, does everyone want me to be a girl?" "No Honey, you're just such a sweet person that a lot of people want to complement you by using cute pet names." "Ok, but I think I could use a few less of those complements," I huffed. "Ho Sam you've always been a such terrific person, I'm constantly getting complements about you. So unless you decide to turn into a jerk people will always treat you that way." She paused to pull something out of her purse. "If you doubt me than read this." She handed me an envelope. I opened the envelope and pulled out a card. There were so many signatures on it that they had to use an extra page. All my teachers, my entire home room class. It seemed like the whole 7'th grade had signed the card, all seemed to wish me well. When I could no longer read through the tears I put the card down. "What's wrong Honey?" "I... I... hardly know most of them, why would they sign the card?" "Mrs. Johnson brought it by last night. She wanted to give it to you personally but you had already left for your procedure. She told your Dad and I that every few years a special student comes through the school. Someone who makes people laugh when all they want to do is cry. Someone who's willing to help who ever needs it. Someone with a friendly smile. Someone who doesn't try to be popular but everyone seems to like all the same. She told us that the card was not the teachers' idea; your classmates were passing it around. Mr. Andrews confiscated it during his first period class because he thought a couple of students were passing crib notes during a test. He decided to keep it and he asked every class that day if they knew you and if they wanted to sign the card. During lunch he took it the teachers lounge." Mom was sounding rather proud. "But... but... but..." I couldn't think of anything to say. Mom continued, "She said one more thing if your up to hearing it." "I... I... guess." Mom looked sad and got quiet "She said that all the special students like you in the past were girls." "Did you tell Mrs. Johnson about me?" "No Sam we didn't tell her, we left that up to you if you feel she should know." "Mom? Am I supposed to be a girl?" "I just don't know Honey." Not much happened until about 1 o'clock a professionally looking lady knocked on the door. "Samuel?" "Yes," I replied. "Hi I'm Sharon, Dr. Rutherford asked me to talk to you." She turned to my Mom. "Mrs. Waterman?" "Yes," Mom said. "Good I was hopping I'd catch you both here." She had a friendly smile. "Well Sam how are you holding up?" "Ok I guess." "You guess?" "Well you go through this and see how positive your answer is." "Yes I see your point." She wrote something down on her clipboard. "Dr Rutherford and your father say you're a very brave young man." Mom spoke up. "His mother says he's a pretty brave young lady also." Sharon looked puzzled. "Young lady?" I giggled, "I'm surprised Dr. Rachel didn't tell you. You see because Dr. Rachel is a gynecologist she doesn't have boys for patients. And she is such a nice doctor that I really wanted to keep her as my doctor, so we agreed that I could be an honorary young lady so she could stay my doctor." "And that doesn't bother you?" "No I suppose it should but I wouldn't be in this mess if I wasn't part girl. So being called a young lady seemed to fit. Besides it's been kind of fun, Hu Mommy?" "Yes it has been fun," Mom giggled. "You seem to be in good spirits, aren't you scared?" "No I'm not scared, I'm terrified! But what can I do, nobody else can do this for me. And before you ask yes I've cried my eyes out I was crying most of the morning, you can ask Mommy." "Yes Sharon he has gotten quite emotional at times." "Any idea what brings these emotions on Sam?" "At first it was the pain, it was terrible. Then once we figured out what was going on, I was afraid everyone would think I was a f reak. Then it was why me, why couldn't I be a normal boy. I don't think I'm completely over that one yet. Not to mention the times I just couldn't help it. For a while I thought everyone around me wanted me to be a girl but I finally realize that they just carried. Finally there was this." I handed Sharon the card I got that morning. While Sharon looked over the card Mom told her about Mrs. Johnson's visit. "Well Sam, just a few more questions." "Ok." "If you could choose which would you choose, being a boy or girl?" "A week ago there wouldn't have been any question, boy definitely. Now I'm not sure I think I'll wait until I get all the facts then try to decide." "How are you going to decide?" "Once we get the facts and opinions on the different options, Mom, Dad, Dr. Rachel and I hope Mrs. Johnson will help me decide." "If you decide to being a girl, what is your biggest fear?" "That people won't understand, that everyone will think I'm a freak." "Ok one last question. If being a girl is your best choice are your fears bad enough that you don't consider that option?" "No, just concerned that it will make it more difficult." "Well Sam, I think your handling this very well and I'm sure you'll make the right decision" "Thanks Sharon." "Take care ladies," and with that she was gone. I spent the next couple of hours snuggled up to Mom watching TV and it felt great, it had been a long time since we had done that. Shortly after 4 Mrs. Johnson came in. "How's the most popular boy in the 7'th grade?" "I'm doing ok. The card was totally awesome. I want to ask you a big favor. But first I need you to promise not to tell anyone what I'm about to tell you." "Well the promise I can make, what's this favor?" So I told her the whole story. She sat there listening intently. "So it looks like I have to decide whether I'm a boy or girl. I would like you to help me make that decision." "That is a big favor. Why me?" "I'm not sure, I just get the feeling you'll help me make the right decision. Besides I like you a lot." "When do I have to give you an answer?" "Well, when Daddy and Dr. Rutherford get here we will discuss the options but we don't have to decide today. We will take a few days to think about it then get together, everyone will give their choice and reason why and hopefully we come up with the best choice. I would like you to at least listen to the options, you're under no obligation to help make the decision if you do." "I'll stay and listen. I'm honored you asked me, but I'll have to think about the rest, Ok?" "That's cool" I smiled at her "At least you didn't say no!" I giggled. As I was talking to Mrs. Johnson I noticed Rachel come in. "Hi Dr. Rachel." "Cindy, Beverly," she nodded to Mom and Mrs. Johnson. "How's our young lady?" "Rachel do you know all the women in my life?" I giggled. "I'm doing ok, although I seem to be doing a lot of giggling lately. Oh well I guess it's better than crying." "No Sam I doubt I know all the women in you life, just quite a few." "What's with this 'young lady' thing, Sam have you already made your decision?" "No Cindy," I sighed. "If you think about it. In this mixed up body of mine I am a young lady and a young man both at the same time. So for now until a decision is made I'm an honorary young lady." "Well young lady, your body may be fixed up but your mind seems to be working just fine," Dad said with a smile. "Daddy!" I ran and gave him a big hug. Pulling a way form Dad I climbed back in bed. noone saw me press the call button "well it looks like everyone is here," I said sadly. "Rachel is the testimony ready to be presented?" "Umm... yes." Just then Carol came it with a few extra chairs. "Thanks Carol, you can stay if you want, I'd like you to be part of this. If that is ok with you?" I added. everyone took a seat, Mom and Dad on the bed next to me. "Before we hear the testimony I'd like to set a date and time for the final decision. How's Monday evening?" Dad laughed, "Right to business, what's the hurry?" "Well I thought that if I couldn't make a decision by Monday then I'll probably never be able to. And I want to get this part over with before diner. That way we won't keep everyone up too late. Mom is it ok if we have the meeting at our house?" "Yes I think that will be fine. I'm make sure Jenny and Adam have some where to go." "No, I want them there too, not to be part of the decision, but they need to know what's going on." I tried to be brave but I was loosing. I think Mom sensed it, putting an arm around me. "Ok Sam, I think that is a good idea." I snuggled into Mom tears forming in my eyes, "Rachel I guess for now it's your show." "Well not all the tests are back yet but we already know the two options, is he going to be a man, or is she going to be a woman. First you can be a boy, the female parts can be removed. You will have to start taking hormone so you can enter puberty and develop into a young man. However as you know Sam your penis does not function 'sexually' that's because your testacies haven't formed properly and even with hormones they probably never will. Now when you're older you can have an implant that will allow you to function and have relations with a woman. But you'll never be able to father children. You will be a man every other way. Because you have already entered puberty and are developing into a young lady you'll be an effeminate male. Meaning you'll always have some resemblance of female about you. Now that is not bad but there will be some narrow minded people who will try to use that against you. "The second option, is the easiest medically but the hardest emotionally. Sam, the test results show that you are more girl than boy. You have already entered puberty, you're menstruating, your hormones are affecting your moods, your breasts are growing and your bone structure is that of a 12 to 13 year old girl. This means that if you're body had formed a vagina instead of a penis you could become pregnant and have a child naturally. For you to be a girl, what they would do is take your penis and other tissues and use them to form a vagina. The first emotional issues are you'll have to help your vagina form, but we can talk about that later. The second concern is again narrow-minded people who 'may' see you as a sexual deviant. These issues should resolve themselves by the time you graduate high school and move on to college. Well Sam I think that about covers it." There were several minutes of awkward silence as everyone thought about Rachel had just said. Then the damn burst, my tears started flowing like rivers. Dad said, "Maybe we should..." I cut him off before he could finish. "It's ok Dad, give me a moment." With red and watery eyes I looked around the room. "Please stay, I... I've... made my decision." Mom said, "Sam, don't rush it. Take your time." "I don't think I am, I've been thinking about it all week. Every time I got emotional this decision was the main reason." I paused to wipe my eyes. "Mom, Dad, Rachel you've all read my journal, so you know I've really been going through this for a while now." They all nodded their understanding. "Sam?" Dad asked, "are you're sure?" "How can I be sure? I can either be a half a man or I could be a complete woman. If I stay male I'll always be small, look more like a girl than boy so I'll always have to fight to be taken seriously. And I can't have children not that it's a major concern at this time but it will be eventually. I'll be nothing more than a woman who's had a sex change. Which wouldn't be bad because everyone already believes I'm a boy. But I would know and it would be like I'm lying about myself. So unless someone can convince me that being a man is better than being a woman I think option #2 is the best choice. I'm sorry Daddy I can't be the son you wanted. Samantha will be coming home." I suddenly felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. "Samantha?" Mom and Dad both asked. "Yes Samantha," I said proudly. "I don't want my world turned completely upside down. This way I can still be Sam, thanks Rachel." "What, I never..." "Oh! Yes you did. You named be Samantha yesterday, I know you were just joking but I really do think it's cool." "Well then your welcome, Samantha." Mom added, "Well then Samantha it is." "I just wish I could wiggle my noise like Samantha Stevens then I wouldn't have to go through all this. Umm... perhaps I'll name my first daughter Tabatha. What do you think, Mommy?" After the laughter died down Mom said, "I don't know, it could work." "I just need to know that this is the right decision." "Yes Sam, I think it is," Dad said sounding sad and tired. "Thanks Daddy!" Giving him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, causing me to turn bright red. That brought a round of laughter, causing me to blush all the more. "Umm... Cindy?" "Yes Sam." "I still need a big favor from you." "Oh!" "Yes, well... umm... umm... I want to thank everyone for the terrific card. And... um... um... I want to tell them what's happening. I think it would be better than surprising them. Could you see about arranging a meeting?" "I'll see what I can do. I think it is a good idea and a brave one too." Then she asked, "How did you become such a brave young lady?" I blushed again. "It's all Daddy's fault" I said in a pout. "I promised him I wouldn't hide from this." Then I added with a giggle, "He really just helped me realize that I was strong enough to face this, you all did." "Just promise me one thing Mommy, that you won't turn me into a girly- girl too quickly." "Darn and I had all these plans!" "MOM!" "Just fooling we will give you all the time you need." "Thanks for your help. I don't know if I could get through this without it." After a round of your welcome from everyone, "Well if noone else has anything to add I guess this concludes our meeting. The verdict has been rendered. The defendant is here by condemned to a life of womanhood." Carol was the quickest to respond, "Condemned?" "Well umm... is dragged kicking and screaming? Reluctantly joins? Forced to endure? Welcomed open armed? Boldly goes where no man has gone before?" I said more than asked, then continued, "No I don't feel condemned. Actually I am finally starting to feel whole. I'm just scared." "That's understandable," Mom said. And to confirm this everyone was nodding in agreement. "Well young lady, I have something to add, you get to go home," Rachel smiled. "Really! Great!" An hour latter I was walking into the front door, happy to be home. Both Jenny and Adam were excited to welcome me home. Mom cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention, "Jason would you like to do the honors?" "Umm... sure" but he didn't sound so sure. "Your mother and I would like to introduce... Samantha." We spent the next hour explaining everything and answering questions. Jenny and Adam seemed to be cool with it. "So," I began. "I guess I've always been your big sister, we just never knew it." April 29; I spent most of the day writing what I was going to tell my classmates. I must have started over 50 times before I had a 5-page speech written. Mrs. Johnson called and said the assembly was set for tomorrow during PE. I told her I was ready. Rachel called and said it was set for me to back into the hospital on Monday for surgery. I asked her if she could be at school tomorrow to help answer questions, she agreed. I asked her if she could bring a copy of the reports, she said no problem. April 30; Probably the scariest day of my life (so far) and to think I asked for this. What was I thinking? Mom drove me to school. I thought it was kind of funny because I always walked. I guess she didn't want me to chicken out or something. As we were parking the car, "Sam I think this is a very brave thing to do. Remember I'm just here for moral support." "Thanks Mom I appreciate it," I said. As we were walking across the parking lot we saw Rachel pull up so we waited for her to catch up. "Hi Rachel thank you for coming." "No problem Sam." We timed our arrival so we would get to the gym before class change. As we walked into the gym we were met by the principle Mr. Smith. "Hi Mr. Smith, thank you for allowing this opportunity. This is my mother," I said pointing to Mom. "And this is my Doctor, Dr. Rutherford." "Welcome Ladies." Then he turned to me. "Well young man, this was a highly unusual request but Mrs. Johnson was quite convincing. Any clue what this is all about?" I glanced at the clock. "Well I don't have time to explain it fully, lets just say that you may not be calling me young man when this is over." We filled him in quickly. "Mrs. Johnson convinced the school board who told me to have this assembly. It would have been nice to have been part of the decision." "I'm sorry it happened that way. I told Mrs. Johnson that I didn't want rumors flying around school until I had a chance to tell everyone. Please don't be mad at her