Dreams Of Future Passed, All Ways And Always free porn video

Dreams of Future Passed - Always and All Ways 40 years ago, like so many of us, I first felt the impulse to pull on female clothing, and though I only had my mother's to choose from I was soon regularly getting home from school and locking myself in the toilet dressing myself in stockings and girdle or corset and feverishly rubbing myself to ecstasy before my brother and sister got home and life returned to 'normal'. I can remember wishing and almost believing that if I could come 3 times that I would somehow magically turn into a girl for real. I soon found out that that didn't happen ! But for a year or so silk panties and stockings were the norm when I got the chance. And then one day a friend of my brother's came round and somehow we both ended up nakid and he masturbated me first, and I still remember his surprise and almost distaste as I came on his hand and sprayed on both of our tummies. I also remember that I felt in no way guilty and immediately set about stroking him and telling him that if he made a mess I would lick him clean. Even now I remember wanting to take his small non-coming 13 year old cock into my mouth but for whatever reason I didn't. He juddered into a very intense orgasm and to my disappointment he was right and there was nothing for me to clean up. And then he had to go home and I was hoping that we could meet again and the world was full of possibilities till he told me he didn't want to come round again. Hmm, I sometimes wonder how his sexuality expresses itself nowadays...still. And that was it for years. I stopped dressing and had girlfriends and had 'normal' sex and to this day nothing compares to burying my face deep in a close friend's cunt and licking and sucking her till she bucks and squeals and spasms and... well you know. Fucking her has always seemed pretty crude. In my experience fingers and tongue and lips provide an infinitely more bliss filled experience for my lover. Don't get me wrong. Feeling her cunt as it stretches over my cock and slides it's way down my shaft can be magnificent, especially if she knows how to work it! But a few grunts and a quick fuck don't really do it for me. But when I'm alone and tucked up in bed at night, what really does it for me as I stroke myself, is to imagine myself with you and my legs are freshly shaved and I'm in stockings and undies and kissing you, and you are on top of me and spreading my legs wide as you gently at first and then more insistently enter me with your cock, all the while kissing me and squeezing my breasts ( did I not mention that ever since puberty I have had small but VERY definite breasts AA cups anyway?! ) and twisting and sucking and pulling my oh so sensitive nipples as you take everything so freely on offer and fuck me stupid. And as I come in my hand I know that I am yours and that at heart I am a girl and always have been and - OH I WANT YOU SO BADLY BUT FOR REAL. And then as the orgasm dies away the denial sets in and things can return to normal and I can simply be a man again. Except that sometimes, after a period of 40 years this has become so insistent, that I sometimes spend days in my bra and panties and nice dresses and skirts, and have discovered the wonderful pleasure of slowly spreading myself open as I slide down and onto a 'substitute' cock, and ride myself to an infinitely better and more satisfying orgasm than anything I have ever experienced in male mode. I have even experienced orgasm simply from the penetration and riding without touching my soft and shrunken clitoris. For truly my penis does go into clittoral mode in common with the rest of my psyche when I become the girl that I am at the core of my being. I don't mind not being hard. I DON'T want to be hard, as I gently roll my nubbin between my fingers till wave after wave of sheer rolling bliss radiate out from and through my groin. Male orgasms? You are fucking joking aren't you!!! And this is all after sporadic feelings and dressings in the last 40 years. After my first two serious girlfriends I dressed again for a while whilst flatsitting for a friend, and I can still remember sitting in the bath shaving my legs and dressing in stockings and suspenders and a beautiful old superfine, full body, antique embroidered cotton slip which I wore for about a week as I decorated the flat. And then it went away again for 10 years or so... and I can't really remember after that. I do remember that over the years it would reappear every few years and I would shave my legs and dress all girly for a few days and wank myself silly. And then the feeling would go and everything would return to 'normal' much to my relief. Until about 4 years ago, that is, when in my 50's. And 'she' has returned with a vengeance and simply refuses to go away for more than a few weeks at a time and I find myself repeatedly doing my legs, and sometimes my whole body, and even recently I take pleasure in shaving under my arms, something which really does not bother me either way in a female friend. And although I keep on hoping and wishing and praying that it will go away my 'monthly' is like clockwork every 28 days. How girly is that? And recently it even kicks in at 'ovulation' time in the cycle, when the feelings become so intense and overpowering that often as not they are irresistible. The funny thing is that when I do finally succumb it suddenly slips in right out of the blue and I find myself slipping into bra and panties and stockings and pulling on a dress or a skirt and simply ENJOYING the feeling of intense peace and wholeness that comes over me. The orgasm, although always there, is no longer the be all and end all of the experience. I simply relax into womanhood - my walk changes, my feelings and emotional responses change, my mannerisms change... I become a much nicer person in my response to life. Far more understanding and compassionate. And I can empathise far more with others. Oh and I almost forgot. I even play piano differently, my left hand starts working. I live in a small rural community and believe me they would NOT accept this PERVERSION on any level. Indeed many of the fine upright men would want to physically hurt me and feel justified and righteous in doing so. So sadly it is only on the darkest winter nights that I have the pleasure and joy of walking on a remote beach and of feeling the wind blowing up my skirt and whipping it round my legs as I enjoy simply being me going for a walk. Until now that is... As I have explained my femininity and my desire to express it in myself and live it has been taking me over and possessing me, first on a monthly basis, and more recently on a bi-monthly. So twice a month I find myself opening up my 'Pandora's' box and as I slip into my panties and pull my bra on and then stockings and home made garters, so too do I experience a release from the thoughts and the resistance and hoping that it will all go away. And as I slip into a skirt and a blouse a feeling of peace and wholeness comes over me every time, and I settle and just be myself for an evening or two, and sometimes even a week or two. And of course I pleasure myself on occasion, but ALWAYS I am in what I call 'clittoral mode' and my balls disappear and my penis shrinks and stays soft. And the orgasms are so much more intense. Oh yes, and definitely so much better and more satisfying!!! Except that you are not here with me, kissing me and touching me and gently making love to me. And I so much want to take your penis in my mouth and gently lick it and suck it and play with it till helplessly you slide over the edge and come in my mouth. And as my mouth fills with your seed I savour it and taste it fully and swallow it and kiss you and give myself over to you completely as your tongue enters my mouth and intertwines with my own cum covered tongue and you become hard again and as you spread my legs so too you push a finger deep inside me and start to finger me... and I am all yours to do with as your heart desires. So much for daydreams or nightdreams! Except that recently, as the feelings in me have been growing so much more intense, my need to be with you is becoming more and more insistent. And this is why I replied to your ad in the listings and arranged to meet you, heart in mouth and very nervous. And so on the day, I spent the day thinking of what might happen and as evening approached I dressed in a beautiful maroon silk bra and matching embroidered thong, decided to wear tights so as not to have anyone 'read' my suspenders and pulled on a shirt and trousers. Don't worry I have some make up and a skirt and some heels in my shoulder bag, together with a selection of a few other girly things. There is no way I will ever be able to 'pass' in public, and if we do decide to share some time together you will find that just underneath the surface I am all woman, and more than happy to dress to please! But very privately and discreetly. I walked into the bar a bit early and feeling very nervous. Understand we have a 50 something year old virgin here going on a 'date' with a man who understands and knows all about my girly feelings and desires. Well maybe not quite all, but I was fairly explicit not to say blatant in the e-mails we exchanged! I ordered a bottle of wine and chose a table in the back corner as you had suggested, and sat down to wait for you. Although I am sure nothing looked 'amiss' ( or should I say 'a miss'? ) and that my bra was invisible to anyone who did not know it was there, I was more than a little nervous. That mixed with my excitement at being here in beautiful silk undies and totally in female mode waiting for my date to show. My deodorant 'Siren', one of the impulse range, smelled deliciously feminine and I loved it's scent. "Angella?" And I awoke from my reveries to the face of a good looking man in his 60's or thereabouts standing beside my table smiling at me. "Yes. And that means you must be Amos." "I am indeed. And perhaps if I get a glass I can join you in the bottle of wine and relax a bit." My heart was thumping as I agreed and he came back glass in hand and sat down opposite me. "I can feel that you're nervous but no need. This bar is very discreet and all we're doing is having a quiet drink together. I'm really glad you could come. I've been looking forward to meeting you ever since our first e-mails." And as he said it he squeezed my knee and smiled, a beautiful smile that danced across his eyes as a jolt of lightning shot up my thigh and straight to my groin. And at that moment I fell in love with him and knew that I was his totally, always and all ways. I knew that there was nothing I could or would want to refuse him. I knew that I would do anything for him and with him. And above all as he gazed into my soul I knew that I was 'his' woman and he knew it too. It may sound very 'Mills and Boon'ish but that's how it was. We sat there for a while and finished the wine, had another bottle and everything was really really good. We got on really well, had a lot in common and I was feeling more and more relaxed in his company. When he suggested going back to his place there was no way in the world I could have said no. I can remember feeling that everything was intensified. The music from the bar, the feeling of my bra as it cradled my small but very real breasts and above all the consistent and persistent pulsating glow that had been flooding through my tummy and my groin ever since my third glass of wine! I can honestly say that I had never felt so completely and utterly female in my life. As I said earlier when the 'mode' takes me my whole being changes, and I can remember, even as I went to the loo, feeling even my hips sway. And as I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and wanted to put, at the very least, some lipstick on I knew that at last, in my mid fifties, that a lifelong fantasy and desire was about to come true. Who knows where it would lead, but for now I knew that Angella was no longer alone and this was crossing over into real life. I was really glad I had shaved my legs and body and wanted nothing more than to get out of my male clothes and slip into a skirt. Amos was waiting for me as I reappeared and we left. His house was about ten minutes by cab and it was huge. A short drive leading into it and tall hedges all around a very large garden. As we went inside it I could see immediately that it was not only elegant but very comfortably decorated. As we went in I slipped and as he caught me so too he lifted me and carried me over the threshold. And as he put me down again his face was only inches from mine and he suddenly kissed me. Before I had even registered what was happening he just as suddenly stopped. "Welcome to my home. I don't carry everyone over the threshold you know but somehow it just felt right. There's a bathroom at the top of the stairs if you need one or if you would like to freshen up a bit. I'll just open up some wine and be right back." I went upstairs to an exquisite bathroom, very large and beautifully laid out and furnished. It was a cross between a boudoir and a bathroom and had everything even a woman could desire down to and including a bidet and an antique dressing table with mirror. The first thing I did was to kick off my male shoes and trousers which were feeling more grotesque by the minute and to see myself reflected in the large mirror with my real shoulder length hair, sheer black peephole tights and shirt. I pulled the belt from the trousers and put it around my waist and pulled it VERY tight, and as I did the shirt flared out over my hips and my full female shaped backside. I have always had a big bum, for a man anyway, but looked at from a female perspective it was not too big at all and beautifully rounded though I say it myself. Seeing my breast outline pushing against my shirt and my bum doing likewise there was instead of the feeling of embarrassment that I had had for most of my life, a feeling of not only acceptance and rightness, but profound gratitude to my maker who had given me such gifts. For the first time I seriously considered even 'going on the pill' so to speak in order to round out my breasts even more. I sat down to pee and reflected how natural it had become to sit and pee after a lifetime of standing and aiming. So much more civilized and comfortable. As I flushed the loo and crossed to the dressing table I noticed that there was a selection of make up in a glass try on it's top, and so I used nail varnish, eye shadow and liner, mascara and blusher and a gorgeous lipstick called Damask Luscious. Staring at my reflection I became intensely aware of how relaxed I was feeling and of how naturally my transformation from the man in the bar to a middle aged woman was taking place. I felt totally at peace with the world and more than a little aware of the undercurrent of INTENSE randiness that was flooding every atom of my being. My body was literally 'buzzing' and I knew instinctively that there would be no returning from this condition. The female in me had taken over completely and would not be denied. And the most wonderful feeling of all was the realization that I had fallen in love and intuitively I knew Amos was equally smitten with me. As I looked at myself I knew that this reflection staring back at me through large soft inviting eyes was me, and that this beautiful house was to become my home and that I was to be the lady of the house. All my fears and misgivings and wonderings evaporated in that moment as I stood up and walked out in my stockinged feet to embrace not only my lover, but my future. As I emerged from the room I heard Amos's voice calling from a room at the back of the house and along the landing. I walked in feeling more excited than nervous, into another very large ( 20ft. x 30ft.) room, beautifully furnished from the deep luxurious carpet under my feet to the sofa and armchairs and to a super king-sized bed. "My dear you look absolutely gorgeous and so much better out of trousers! And you didn't even put on your skirt. Don't get me wrong you look fabulous, I'm just wonderfully surprised to find you so obviously comfortable. I've been having kittens hoping and praying that everything is all right with you. In all my life I never thought that again and at my age would I be so lucky to meet someone who feels so right. And you really do feel right and beautiful and desirable to boot. Speaking of which..." and he got up and gave me a box from the dresser. " Today when I was in town I saw these and thought they were quite lovely. I hope you don't mind me buying them for you as a gift, it was on the spur of the moment so to speak. I do hope you like them." And he passed me the box. Inside was an absolutely beautiful pair of shoes. Open toed and strappy with an ankle strap. The leather was so soft and was inlaid with a differently coloured leather. The heels were about 4inches and not too spiked, so I should be able to walk in them all right, although I had never tried such high heels before. "Amos they are really really beautiful. Let me try them on right now." "I'm glad you like them. I wasn't sure but it felt right. I hope they fit." "How could they not?" as I slipped my feet into them and found that the fit could not have been more perfect. As I did up the ankle strap I noticed that the clasp instead of being the usual buckle type was adjustable and consisted of a metal tongue which pushed into a sheath. It was not immediately clear how they would undo again. "It locks into place and the strap has a steel core to it. There is of course a key for it, but I get to keep the key. After all you can't wear a key and the shoes are so much more beautiful, aren't they?" And as he spoke his eyes stared into my soul and again I realized that I was his, body and soul, and could refuse him nothing. And as I stared back I pushed the first clasp into place and heard the distinct click as it locked in place. Without looking away I put the second shoe on and again it locked in place with the same distinct and very solid sounding click "You do of course realize that they only come off when I say so and unless you want to go home like that then you will be staying here at least for a while and certainly you will not be leaving before I am fully satisfied and satiated." "And you do realize when you were admitting your good fortune in meeting me, that you omitted to mention that I am a virgin, and that all my life I have dreamed of this moment. And I strongly suspect you will find me to be insatiable in my desires. The only possible fly in the ointment is that my biggest problem is post-orgasmic guilt and denial and it is always enough to get me out of my bra and panties and back to my male side which believe me wants nothing to do with any of this." "You don't need to worry about that any more. By closing your shoes around your ankle, by simply being here we both know how much your true nature is being given it's wish fulfilment and chance to blossom. True?" "Mmm hmm." "Well when we were in the bar I spiked your drink with a Rohypnol mix and believe me not only will you do anything and everything that you may desire, you will do everything I desire. And I do mean EVERYTHING. And if and when your denial kicks in I will take the greatest pleasure in raping you repeatedly. And if that does not solve the problem then I will not hesitate to invite a couple of good friends over to join the party. And inside as you hate yourself for enjoying it so much you will find yourself eagerly and repeatedly sucking cocks and being fucked till your arse is raw. Now here is the key to your shoes and if you wish to leave then you are free to do so right now. But if you stay those are my conditions. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes. And to my amazement I am not even the slightest annoyed with you for spiking me. Indeed I am grateful to you for your thoughtfulness. From the moment I met you I knew that I am yours and the excitement it gives me is the most intense and wonderful feeling I have ever felt in my life. I gladly give you me to do with as you will, whether for your pleasure or mine." "I have felt the same since your first e-mail and I am so happy and relieved to find it reciprocal. Please go to the dresser and bring me the wooden box which you will find in the bottom right hand drawer." I got up and carefully walked to the dresser. Walking in these heels will take some getting used to but the feelings they produced in my calves and the perk it gave to my bum was wonderful. I opened the drawer and there was a handcrafted walnut box in there about 20" x12" and 6" deep. I lifted it out and went back over to Amos. As I gave it to him he briefly took my hands and again gazed into my eyes. "Open it my darling" he said gently. Which I did. To my shock there were a selection of whips and a spanking paddle and a gag and some cuffs. "You are fucking joking !" I said, and he just stared at me. "No I am not. Trust me. You must trust me. You have chosen to stay and you must simply trust me. I am not some kinky pervert and I really don't intend sharing your delights with anyone. But I am not prepared to let your guilt and denials ruin what should be the most wonderful experience that we can make it. I too fell in love with you at first sight and I am asking you now to trust me implicitly. Please." I stayed silent as he buckled first the one cuff to my wrist and then the other one. They were leather and lined with padding and I have to admit actually very comfortable. I was still standing and he motioned to me for one leg which I put on his knee as he fastened the third cuff to me and finally the fourth and last one. I don't mind telling you that my heart was in my mouth. However inside I could feel my sense of excitement rising higher and higher and he still had not touched me other than the fleetingly brief kiss on the doorstep. He then stood up and going to one of the armchairs turned it round. I followed him over to it and as he guided me into place with his hand on my bum so too my body was on fire. Without saying a word he put his hand on the back of my neck and gently pressed me forwards over the back of the chair. Strangely I did not resist at all and indeed to be entirely honest I don't think I could have done even if I had wanted to. I know now that this is one of the effects of the drugs he had given me. From the moment I had swallowed them unknowingly in my wine, my desires had sealed my fate. I was his to do with exactly as he pleased, and I had given him my full permission. And as he took my wrist and stretched it to the front of the arm he pulled up a strap on the arm that clipped onto the cuff. And the same with the other one. And now I was helpless. And totally so as he went behind me again and lifted my left ankle and moved my leg to the side of the chair where it was now also clipped. He did the same with my right leg and the realization suddenly hit me hard. Here I was absolutely helpless with a complete stranger and willingly so. Was I crazy or what? And then he touched me. He must have been on his knees behind me and slid his hands up both legs and up and around my thighs Then he lifted my shirt out of the way and tucked it inside my belt. As his hands floated across my stomach and around my hips he took the top of my tights and started to pull them down collecting the band of my thong with it as he went. And then nothing. I heard him walking back across the room and the sound of presumably his clothes coming off. I heard wine being poured and then he came back over to me. "What a perfect, perfect evening. And hopefully one which we will both remember with pleasure and joy for a long long time. You have an exquisite backside my dear and you look absolutely irresistable. I am so glad we met and I tell you openly and honestly right now that I am hopelessly smitten with you. I sincerely hope that very soon you will not want to leave here ever and that you will accept my invitation to move in as my mistress and mistress of this house. I have taken your male clothes and they are in a bag now should you ever wish to leave. But if you choose to stay I don't ever want you to dress in anything other than female clothes whilst we are at home anyway. The aura of womanhood that glows around you is wonderful. Your desire is tangible and your body is simply bursting with the energy released by your acceptance of your true nature." And he put his hand on my hip sand gently spread aside the cheeks revealing my bud. And then I felt his tongue right in the centre of my bud and I heard as if from somewhere else this long deep moan which was me. And his tongue gently licked around me and up and down my slit and around and around my bud which I could feel relaxing and softening and opening and his tongue pushed into me and pushed further and he was snogging me there and it really was my love hole. And I could hear this low animal moan coming from me and my bum was pushing back onto him and...it's fucking incredible like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. And then his tongue came out of me again and as he stood up he leaned over me and first tied a blindfold around my eyes. I was still moaning and writhing but the way I was bent over the back of the seat would not even allow contact between my nubbin which was very definitely in clittoral mode! and anything solid. Then I felt his hands move down my face. " Open your mouth a moment" and something pushed inside it and before I knew what was happening it was strapped round my head and fastened. Never in my wildest fantasies had I imagined myself in this position, helpless and gagged. There were spasms of pure bliss and ecstasy flowing through my body, which now had a life of it's own. It felt incredible- like it was not going to make me come as such but was more like an ongoing very lo- grade type of all enveloping orgasm. And then without any warning the paddle exploded across both buttocks simultaneously. My body would have bucked but I could not move that far. My screams would have brought the house down but the three inches of penis gag in my mouth would not allow it. Instead I found my mouth uncontrollably sucking on it and swallowing the liquid coming out of it. Liquid which I later found out was his cum which had been kept in the freezer and gave him ample supplies when required. Waste not want not is what he said when he later told me. Later I would agree with him but for now I was in agony as relentlessly he brought the leather paddle down on my poor backside. I had seen it in the box and it must have been about twelve inches long and four or five wide from a very pliable and thickish leather. Made for a very distinct purpose. To cause varying degrees of pain according to the wielder's wishes. And Amos was a very accomplished and enthusiastic wielder, as blow after blow landed on me. I never thought to count but it must have been twenty or thirty before he relented. My tears had been flowing a good while. And then thank God he stopped. The relief was incredible but what was even more amazing was the way that my body was still rippling with this energy which kept me in it's grasp as it flowed through me inducing spasms which wracked my arms and my torso and my legs. Almost like ecstatic shivering. Talk about the agony and the ecstasy. And then once again his hands spread my cheeks and his tongue pushed it's way inside me again, at once hard and then soft as it explored me, and between it's gentle administrations and the heat throbbing in my cheeks I was astonished at the sheer bliss I was feeling. It was incredible. All ways and always! And then just as I thought I could take it no longer he stopped again and I was left alone. I strained to hear what he was doing as he walked around the room. I could hear more wine being poured and drunk and then silence for I don't know -five maybe ten minutes- as he sat and presumably relaxed on the sofa. And I was left hanging, fearful of what may happen next and yet strangely excited and turned on by the turn of events. I heard him get up again and heard the sound of what must have been the contents of the box being sorted and evaluated and then heard him walk back over to me. He gently stroked my bum cheeks and then I felt him pull my tights and panties further down my thighs till they were stretched tightly just above my knees. "Now my dear I can see you are holding up very well, and, dare I say, it would appear really getting off on this. Its always a surprise the first time to find out just how enjoyable the mixture of being totally helpless and totally subject to the will of someone else can be. Especially when a bit of pain is brought into the equation. And I am afraid this next bit is going to hurt a bit, at least to start with. But trust me you will thank me and mean it before we part company. By the way the gag in your mouth is obviously to stop you from screaming, after all the sound of a grown man's screaming from the depths of his soul as he loses the last pretences of his manhood and passes into a joyful and everlasting embrace of his womanhood, never to return whence he came, is none too pretty to listen to. However you may have worked out from the shape of it that it is in fact a penis and in this case it is hollow and filled with my own cum which I have been saving in the freezer for just this purpose. I do hope you like it, as there is nothing nicer than being woken in the morning by one's woman gently sucking one's penis as you will discover for yourself. Though of course as you already know, and now starting to fully accept, you are a woman and it is you who will be doing the sucking. And after tonight I think I can promise that you will never again be bothered by an erection as your penis finally remains shrunken and in reality becomes an elongated clitoris. Quite miraculous isn't it. But don't worry you will gain far more than you lose. You've already had female orgasms and believe me you ain't seen nothing yet." And then what I later found out was a riding crop was brought down on me with what I can only describe as a viciousness which shocked me. Again and again and again and again. The pain was indescribable. It was awful. There are no words to describe the agony of those cruel blows. And it went on and on and on without abating and without mercy. And it was across my buttocks and my cheeks and up and down my thighs relentless in its ferocity. I had been caned at school, but always wearing trousers and never more than 'six of the best'. But here I was nakid and unprotected and a grown man was laying into me with all the force of a grown man. And it went on and on and I was becoming delirious with the pain. I was on the point of passing out when it stopped and left me in a state of what I can only call neurological mayhem. As the application of the pain ceased my body had spasm after spasm shiver through it. Not orgasmic but incredible none the less. I was crying helplessly and in agony and yet too it was amazing. And then he started again with the paddle. Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap - on and on. I really thought he'd lost it and started to become very fearful. I was totally helpless and at his mercy. And to judge by the incredible levels of pain he was inflicting on me he very obviously not only enjoyed it, but got off on it like there was no tomorrow. I found myself praying he was not a total psychopath and that there would indeed be a tomorrow. And then it stopped. And he was rubbing some kind of cooling and soothing balm onto my poor ravaged backside and then he was spreading my cheeks again and gently kneading them and then his tongue was once again at my love bud and slipping into me oh so easily and welcome and as he reamed me with his tongue the sheer pleasure surpassed even the horrific pain and as he licked and sucked and probed and swirled I totally abandoned all sense of self and surrendered totally and wave after wave of pure sheer fucking bliss flooded through my poor aching body and every atom in my being melted and ebbed and flowed and exploded into wholeness and at-one-ment and I drowned in an orgasm that went on and on and on and left me jerking and twitching against my constraints. After what seemed like forever I quieted again and my orgasms ceased and his tongue ceased it's magic and he stood back. He then leant over me and undid the gag and as he removed it he squeezed the penis into my mouth to empty anything that remained in it. It was empty, and I had acquired a taste for his sperm that I would later discover was never to leave me. "Good. And I can see good for you too. Mmm?" "You're fucking crazy man. Let me go please. I never came here to get into all this. This really isn't my bag at all. Please let me go." I pleaded with him as my own self disgust kicked in at what I was doing and how I was dressed and at my own for now still unacceptable desires. "Please untie me. C'mon Amos , you've had your fun. Enough is enough." "My darling Angie. You're wrong on two counts my dear. Firstly I have not had my fun yet. You've come but not me. Here, look. Taste this." And with one hand he closed my nostrils as with the other a pool of my come was put across my open mouth and I was forced to swallow it. Then he rubbed the rest of my come on his hand across my face. "And secondly my dear, enough is never enough. Enough is only ever a prelude to the next time. And I see your guilt is still blocking your progress and acceptance of a very obvious truth. You are without any doubt at all a woman. I can see it as clear as day. Your responses to me are all those of a woman and I will help to release her." I could hear him go behind me and then felt a finger press against my bud and as it opened and it slid into me I could hear a soft moan from him. "Amos, seriously. Please don't do this to me. Please don't rape me. " And as his finger withdrew I could feel some cold gel being spread over me and inside me and the finger again except it was two and they started to slide in and out of me and Amos was finger fucking me. My pleas fell on deaf ears as he started to develop a rhythm as his fingers slipped in and out of my hole. I could feel it loosen and soften and again there was nothing I could do to prevent what was happening to me. My rape and subjugation. I desperately wanted it to please God stop. And then his fingers were out of me again. My whole backside and down my thighs were still screaming at me and burning and this contrasted wildly with the burning cold in my hole. "What a beautiful luscious cunt you have. As your hole has relaxed it really has opened up into a beautiful luscious flower. I am going to enjoy fucking you so much, and all the more so because you have allowed me to tie you here and thus you are ultimately inviting me to rape you." "Amos please, please don't do this. I'm begging you. Please don't!!!" "And that really is the best bit, because it really is rape and that is really giving me a thrill!" And I could feel his penis pressing up against my cunt, as it was about to become, and I realized I had not even seen it and had no idea of it's size, and he pressed on and even after his three fingers I felt my hole stretching and then suddenly it was in me and pressing deeper and it was against my sphincter and it was painful and I was too tight and it pressed and then suddenly a sharp pain and he was past and sliding deeper inside me. And he kept on pushing into me and he was moaning and saying how good it felt and pressing further into me and till at last I felt his pubes against me and the slap of his balls. And then he pulled back out of me and then slammed back in all the way. " Aaah! Angie darling you've no idea how good that feels. You are a perfect fit. I am going to enjoy this!" And he started pumping back and forth into me. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast and I could see the clock and it was five minutes and then even though I wanted it to stop my body betrayed me and I found myself gripping his penis as he withdrew, and holding it with muscles I never knew I had and then suddenly I was enjoying it. "Oh darling that's good, oh yes you are going to be one hell of a fuck, especially in the days and weeks and months to come." And to my amazement I heard a voice urging him on and it was my voice. "Amos ,oh my darling please don't stop. Oh fuck me, fuck me. Oh harder. Oh this is incredible. Oh yes, yes, yes. you knew didn't you. Oh please don't stop, oh never ever stop. Fuck me whenever you want, oh my darling fuck me stupid." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What I was SAYING! for fuck's sake. And as I looked at the clock I could see he had been fucking me for over half an hour. And I was begging him not to stop as I finally felt him bucking and bouncing against me as me came into me jerking and squirting and grunting and leaning over my back and pulling my nipples OFF me. I was screaming and moaning and groaning and begging him not so stop and then finally I exploded and juddered into another heart stopping body shivering orgasm. And again it felt like it would never stop until finally it did and we both lay spent. Him across my back and quietly telling me he was hopelessly in love with me and wanted me to live with him. And saying he was sorry for causing me pain but it was the only way and he would gladly and willingly submit to me doing the same to him. And in amazement I had no guilt only a feeling of wholeness and at-one-ment and of peace as I heard myself telling him that it was all o.k. and I would gladly be his wife, and that in truth I had fallen hopefully in love with him when he looked into my eyes across the table in the bar and that I had realized then that I was his woman from that moment on, in all ways and always. And that if it pleased him to whip me then I had to admit that it was something else and no matter how painful I would willingly obey him, no matter what. And he unclipped my wrists and as he stood up and withdrew his cock from what I now knew was and still is my cunt and his to do with as he pleases, I could feel his cum dribbling out of me and down my thighs from my gaping hole and he dropped to his knees and licked the cum off my thighs and then started to suck the cum from my hole. And as he stood up and looked into my eyes I smiled as he leaned forward and kissed me, our tongues swimming together in his cum and me thinking I was so thankful I had douched earlier in the bathroom. And then he undid my ankle cuffs and turned me to face him and held me in his arms as he kissed me deeply and hard. It was the most amazing kiss I had ever experienced and I totally abandoned myself to him as his tongue ravaged my mouth and I found myself sucking his tongue and behaving in the manner that girlfriends had kissed me in the past. I was just so passive and it was totally natural. And I felt more of his cum dribbling down my leg and as he broke the kiss I found my hand reaching between my thighs and collecting the gloop on my fingers which again without thinking I brought to my lips and into my mouth. "Mmm. You taste wonderful. I've never tasted cum before and this is nectar." "There's plenty more where that came from I promise you." And as I felt the pressure on my shoulders pushing me downwards I took my cue and dropped to my knees. His penis was still semi-erect and even at that was big. I was only ever your average six inches, but Amos had to be eight or nine inches in length and thick. And as I kissed the head and ran my tongue over it I once again heard Amos moaning , and I sucked the head into my mouth and started swirling my tongue around it licking off the sperm that still coated the length of it. And I felt it expand and swell in my mouth as the blood engorged it again and Amos wrapped his hands around my head as he started to fuck my face. It was my first time and I wasn't really too sure what to do. Besides the size of it did not leave me too much room to manoeuvre. He was happy enough though as his pace quickened and suddenly thrusting to the back of my mouth he squirted me full of his cum again. I had to swallow fast or risk choking but as he pulled out I still had a good mouthful to swirl and savour. It really was delicious and I had definitely acquired the taste, certainly for his cum at the very least. Later on I would discover that some of his close friends also tasted very good but that's all in the future for now. I pulled him back to my mouth again and sucked the last drops of the precious fluid out of him and then licked him clean. "Mmm. You know how to treat your man, don't you!" "I'm glad you approve. I've never done it before. I need to go to the loo, and if you could be so kind and you still have it in you I would really like you to fuck me face to face so we can kiss and I can hold you in my arms, when I get back. Pretty please?" "Don't worry. I'm Viagra driven and plenty of life in me yet. By the time the sun comes up, you will be begging me for some respite and some sleep. By the way prepare yourself for a shock when you see your backside." Shock wasn't the word. From the very top of my cheeks to the back of my knees was still a bright deep red. And criss-crossing this were over forty, maybe fifty, savage angry looking raised welts. No - to my utter shock, since the realization shook me rigid - as I looked at my wounds I felt proud of them. Fiercely proud that I willingly accepted it and knew that I would gladly do so again whenever it pleased Amos. Mercifully that would not be too often, but there were several occasions when he would ask me to go to the drawer and I would wordlessly submit to him as he satiated his need to totally dominate me. And although it was never less than agony, I was his woman and I was proud and glad to serve him as his desires dictated. And believe me he never spared the rod. And although he always apologized afterwards for it, the truth is he really enjoyed hurting me and causing me real pain. The plus side was that between the drugs he always gave me first and the effects of the beating and the pain, I was always guaranteed a night of incredible sex and always the most amazing incredible multiple orgasms. I have had orgasms shudder through my body continuously for thirty minutes at a time, as I have had my cunt stretched and fucked mercilessly, time and again non stop as I have sucked cock after cock as he has shared me with two or three of his close friends, all fuelled up on Viagra. There was one night he and four friends took turns to beat me and whip me over a period of hours. The welts were all the way from my shoulders to my ankles. They had held me down spread-eagled over the side of the bed as the insides of my thighs were repeatedly whipped with a narrow thong till I was almost senseless, and then they took turns to repeatedly rape me one after the other after the other as I was forced to suck each cock in turn. And although I always willingly submitted to the ordeal, giving them the gift of my body, what always happened was that they TOOK what they wanted and they really did rape me repeatedly. Sometimes it would be videoed and on this one night in particular - night! that's a joke! Friday night till Sunday more like it- I watched in horror as I saw what I had been subjected to. I had been fucked in my face or my cunt over fifty times. The crazy thing is that I was becoming more and more turned on as I watched it. The bruising and the wounds took almost two weeks to go away. with Amos fucking me nightly regardless. That was when I said no more to the multiples. Never again, or I would leave. He really toned it down after that and although there were maybe two or three including Amos, the beatings stopped. And believe you me the sex was fabulous. I guess that the only thing better than being fucked, is being fucked again and again and sucking cock after cock repeatedly. Amos was very proud of his 'good woman' and delighted that he had unleashed such a wanton creature. It was a marriage made in heaven for both of us. His friends were all decent people and I liked them and once I had discovered the pleasures of living full-time as a woman my life and wishes were fulfilled and I was normally satiated, at least till the next time. However I am leaping ahead of myself. For now as I looked at my welts I felt strangely proud and after peeing I went back through. Amos was lying nakid on the bed and I stood at the end of the bed, undid my belt and took off my shirt followed by my bra and panties till I too was stark nakid. No clothes fetishes here. And Amos held out his arms to me and I climbed onto the bed beside him. He leaned towards me and squeezed one of my breasts as he took the other nipple in his mouth. "Mmm. You have beautiful breasts. Have you taken hormones to get them?" "No. They're all mine and to be honest they've always embarrassed me." "No more I hope. They are lovely." "Thank you. For the first time in my life I am REALLY glad that I have them. What you're doing feels fucking amazing and when you were pulling my nipples I was in heaven." "That's good. Tell me. If you are going to live with me as my full time lover, would you consider taking hormones to develop them a bit more, especially the nipples." "Would you like me to?" I replied as I felt a ripple of excitement through my groin. "Very much so. Not to make them too big, just a bit. I'd like that very much. And the real bonus is that they would become much more sensitive. Deliciously so in fact. " "O.K. then, but I don't know how to go about it." "Don't worry I have a lady doctor friend who will be happy to oblige. And she will thoroughly check you out with a full medical first and closely monitor you. She can give you exactly the right drugs in the correct dosages for the result wanted. Safely. How does that sound?" "Are you serious? Tailor made. And as you say safe. It sounds great! " "Good. I'll get her to pop round tomorrow. She lives nearby." "That soon. But the welts." "Don't be embarrassed, she won't be. In fact I can safely say she will be neither offended or worried. Probably more turned on than anything." And yet again his eyes stripped me to my soul as he looked into me. And from somewhere far away I heard myself agreeing to start a hormone regime and grow my tits. And inside my heart leapt. And as he kneaded my breasts with his hands and looked at me I became intensely aware of my nudity. Not embarrassed, but in a very female way. Throughout the entire evening my penis had remained tiny and shrunken and in truth had become a very sensitive clitoris. Amos must have been reading my mind as he bent down and took it in his mouth stripping the skin back off the head and swirling his tongue around it. I was in heaven and truly knew in that instant that I would never again experience having a penis that functioned as such. It had become my clitoris. What an evening. Although physically I was the same man who had lived all these years as a man, I was now totally and completely transformed psychologically into a woman, complete with breasts, a clitoris and a lovehole and capable of multiple orgasms from certainly either of the last two and as I would later discover even from my breasts. And then I was coming again as Amos sucked me almost inside out. And as he raised his head back to mine and kissed me sharing my cum with me there was no feeling of guilt or denial as I wrapped my arms tightly around him and pulled him to me. And as he gently spread my legs apart and slid between them I put my hand quite instinctively down to his penis and guided it to my bud and knew as he pressed it into me and raised my legs that at last for the first time in my life that I was at peace with myself and in the arms of someone who I loved and someone who loved me and seemed to understand me. "Oh my darling darling man Fuck me and never stop, and know that I am yours all ways and always. Oh that feels so wonderful. And would you like me to get nipple rings?" "That goes without saying! They can double up as our own little secret engagement and marriage rings. I can get the doctor to pierce your nipples and fit rings tomorrow when she comes, and she can give you your first booster hormone shots at the same time. She can inject directly into your breast tissue a timed release monthly supply. How does that sound?" "Mmm. That feels marvellous. I loved being raped by you. It really was rape. I really said no and meant no. It was wonderful to be so helpless and totally under your control and unable to do anything and then my body betrayed me and it was a total surprise to me and then an orgasm like never before. But this is different. I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart." And then the moans started as his tongue came into my mouth again and we kissed and kissed as Amos fucked my brains out and I learned what it was like to be a woman as my body writhed totally out of control in the bliss of the moment. And that my friends is it for now. Except that I am considering having my balls either removed or tucked permanently up inside me and my scrotum turned into vaginal lips. My clitoris will remain as is, since I could not bear to lose orgasmic function which would be a possibility if it were to be inverted. And besides Amos is happy with my love hole as is. So am I. How many couples can say they enjoy mutual orgasms EVERY time they make love. I still would not pass as a woman on the street but that suits Amos fine. He has this thing about dominating a male and me with my submissiveness and inner female nature just waiting to come out is just what the doctor ordered so to speak Speaking of the doctor, Caroline did come round the next day and did indeed inject me with a hormone cocktail, and continued to do so for a few months, and my nipples tripled in size and are now constantly puffy and with an aureola of about one and a half inches and an inner nub a full half inch long and at least half of that in width. And she fitted two gold rings that day and she did it so well that they have never needed changing even as my breasts and nipples grew. My breasts grew slightly bigger than I would have wished but I am delighted with them. They really stretch a B cup very nicely. And there have been many times when I have been brought to orgasm just from nipple and breast play. All in all what one could call a very satisfactory result. And as regards the welts across my backside she was not in the least embarrassed by it. Indeed she questioned me at length about my feelings about what had happened and suffice it to say that she does on occasion take great pleasure in whipping me as I lie tied across her knees. She loves it and although she does not get the same swing at my cheeks as Amos does, she leaves my backside covered in raised welts and invariably reduces me very quickly to tears. She always puts the gag on me, always filled with Amos's sperm and he is of course delighted to oblige. He must have been saving it and freezing it for years. She likes to make me count the strokes of the cane. Yes she likes to use a cane and it does hurt. And if I lose count she starts again. She once gave me over a hundred stripes and believe me she did not let up or moderate the strength of the blows. Amos was highly amused when he saw. And always when she is finished she straddles my face and rubs her cunt on me till she has come at least two or three times. She says I give cunnilingus better that anyone she has ever known. For my part I am happy to oblige and her cunt tastes like nectar. And a perk was that she never charged me for the hormone treatment. She says it is part of my monthly check up, and normally inserts a vibrating butt plug inside me, just to check that everything is working properly. Sometimes she even likes to use a strap-on on me, and always takes me from behind. But her preference is for my tongue, and of course her cane. I do like her which makes it very easy for me. Perhaps the strangest thing of it all is the way I have come to almost love and indeed even crave the whippings. Don't ask me why because I don't know, but it does always lead to the most incredible sex I have ever known. And one other thing I never mentioned. All of these people are well off and sometimes out of the blue I will be given large sums in cash. I mean like ten thousand was the most in one go. That was after the really over the top session with the five of them. So I am now worth a fair few bob. All in all whatever way I look at it its a good life. All ways and always. It's funny when I think of all the people that would be disgusted by such a 'perverse' way of life. Amos and Caroline always tell me that I am a real Godsend. I wonder what the pope would make of that. All in all a result, wouldn't you say? P.S. One last thing before I forget. Amos is in his mid sixties now and I am close to my sixtieth. And every single morning for the last three years he is woken gently with his woman sucking him to a blissful orgasm. I don't know where he gets all his cum from, but there is always a good mouthful and it always tastes the best. Absolutely deliciously wonderful. I have lived full time as a woman ever since that night, and indeed moved in the next week. I may not pass as a woman, being bald does not help, but even when out and about I dress elegantly and wear a lot of silk. I always wear a bra and panties. Always. And do you know, although I do like to be discreet, there are times on a hot day when my nipples and their rings are very visibly straining against the silk of my bra and my shirt, and anyone who is not blind can see clearly that I have breasts and nipple rings and wearing a bra. And if I catch their eye - I smile. It no longer bothers me. I am proud of who I am. And beyond being myself I am proud to be Amos's woman and life partner in a loving relationship which instead of defining who I am, in truth gives me the space and room to be and fully express myself. That night when I met Amos I also met myself. At long last I have become the woman that I always denied. Wholeheartedly. And I love it. So remember - it's never too late to take those first faltering steps to self-realization and self- fulfilment. You may even surprise yourself in the process. All my love to you, Angie xxx