Lose Your Addiction In Six Days free porn video

Lose Your Addiction in Six Days Saturday She was his neighbor, but Jim could never think of her that way. From the time Kate moved in next door she was a goal for him. He obsessed over her sexy legs and butt, and those tits that jiggled just the way he liked them to. To him, she was sexy as fuck, and he knew he had to get into her pants one way or another. And now he was about to. It wasn't like Jim was sex-starved. He was well above average in frequency of conquests. But he constantly needed more He was, in fact, an addict. And, at 6'1", with a muscular body, he didn't have too much trouble finding a piece when he was in the mood. Which was always. And when there wasn't a live female handy, he was on his PC soaking up sex from the net. He was surprised Kate has said "yes" to the date. He'd been making constant come ons to her since she had moved in six months ago, and only had seemed to annoy her. He even pinched her butt once, which won him only a slap on the face. But this week, something must have clicked in her mind, and she agreed to go out. After a dinner, and much, much alcohol, they now were at her apartment. He not to subtly grabbed her, and after a desultory kiss or two, began taking off her clothes. Before long he was stroking her breasts, and more. Her perfect body was just what he craved. Before she could stop him, he was on top of her, pumping and then, just as quickly, exploding. She looked surprised - and disappointed - but he was satisfied. She wasn't, but that didn't really matter. He quickly mumbled a goodbye, and went back to his own apartment. Sunday Jim woke up late, with a raging hard on. It was pretty normal for him, regardless of what had happened the night before. In a way, it actually bothered him - so much to do, but he had to satisfy himself before anything else. A quick trip to the pc, a few keystrokes, and he found just what he needed, as he knew he would. It was a classic addiction. To sex. Jim knew it, but told himself it was pretty harmless. Thirty-nine years old and single, he had no real commitments, so what was the problem? But he was lying to himself, and even he didn't really believe it. He knew he couldn't stop himself from obsessing on sex, and acting on the obsessions. Not that he had ever tried. And he knew that his addiction was keeping him from living a normal life. It was an all-consuming thing. It probably was the reason he couldn't get a real relationship with a woman going. He often told himself that it was his career that kept his relations with women limited - he was in litigation, a demanding field. Yet he knew that the problem wasn't his career, but his hormones. Afterward, he got dressed quickly, and stepped out to get some coffee. Kate's daughter, Krista stepped out at the same time. She was a young version of Kate - at 18 a babe. He stared at her and smiled. Krista always found Jim a little creepy when he did this - which was a lot. She instinctively wrapped her coat a little tighter around her body and hurried off, avoiding Jim's eyes. He mentally kicked himself for staring. "Acting the pervert again," he scolded himself. But at the same time his mind was picturing her naked. Jim spent most of the day with his guy friends. Despite his fascination with women, he never was much interested in hanging out with them; they just didn't have any common interests. Outside of sex, he mostly just played sports, talked sports, or worked. Today was a basketball day, with his best friend Mark, and a few other guys from the office. He typically beat the pulp out of them at any sport, and today was no exception. In addition to his strength, Jim had a drive to win at any cost. Mark and the others knew that quality served him well as a litigator. The game must have built up the testosterone pool in his body, because by the time he got home, around 6, he was ready to explode yet again. He knocked on Kate's door. Krista answered. "Hey, babe, is your hot Mom home?" he said. "Mom, it's him!" she yelled, barely acknowledging him. "Yeah, what's up Jim?" Kate said, suspiciously. "Hi sweet cheeks, thought maybe we could hook up again tonight." "Don't think so, stud," came the reply. "Not after last night." Jim had no idea why she was being so bitchy, but wasn't surprised. He knew he had blown it with yet another woman. So, he just left. "Her loss," he mumbled aloud, but silently was kicking himself. 'If not Kate, maybe something cyber will do tonight,' he thought. And, sure enough, after just a few minutes browsing back in his apartment, he found just the ticket. It was a site he'd never seen before, one that featured young girls. They were of age --- probably. Yeah, he knew he was way, way too old for these females, but the thought of them just wouldn't go away. In the real world, however, the only teen he ever had real contact with was Krista. She was hot, but he barely even spoke to him when he saw her. Just mumbled "hi"s and that was about it. He knew that to her he was probably just a lecherous old guy. And he felt like one. It's not like he really had any interest in her as a person. On the rare occasions when they did converse, they really had nothing to talk about - maybe the weather but that was it. She was interested in boys, in bands, in clothes; it was a world different from his. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by an ad that popped up on his screen. It was one of those annoying ones that couldn't be closed, but took over the screen. "Lose your sex addiction in six days." 'Ha, yeah right,' he thought, 'pretty damn unlikely.' What was this, like a drug rehab place? 'Who actually bought this crap?' he thought. 'Besides, it's probably some religious right zealot site that will point him to John 3:16 or something.' Still, he was curious about what these people had to offer. At worst, it would at least be worth a laugh or two. And deep down, the thought of life without his obsession was an attractive one. It wouldn't be too bad, he thought, if the sexual overdrive could be taken down a few notches. So, he clicked. Up came more information about the offer: "Change your life. Stop your sexual addictions. We can change your focus. Imagine your life filled with new and different interests. Act now!" Intriguing to say the least. There was a "live link" box there, where he could IM with someone from the company. 'What the heck,' he thought. "Hi, can you tell me more?" he typed. "Yes, thank you for contacting us," came the reply. Jim: So it this for real? Operator: Very much, sir. Jim: Do you use drugs? Hypnosis? Operator: No, none of that. We have a method where we simply change your perspective on things. Jim: I want to be careful - I'd like to get over the addiction, but will I still be able to love women? Operator: Yes sir and women will still love you. Jim: Will I be able to have normal relationships? Operator: Very normal, yes. Jim: What if I don't like the results? Operator: Not a problem. We guarantee you will be happy with the new you. Jim: I'm not sure I want a new me. I'm happy with the old me, thank you. Operator: But sir, we are SURE the new you is the kind of person you've been wanting. 'A little mysterious, but interesting,' Jim thought. There was a link there that said, "Explore your options." Ok, no harm in that, he figured. So he clicked. At first nothing happened. Dead link as usual, he thought. Then up came a screen full of beautiful, clearly teenage, girls. Some were wearing lingerie, some naked, some in miniskirts, just about everything. "Click on your favorite baby doll," the screen said. 'Clever,' he thought. All this mumbo-jumbo and it's just another porn site. An anti-porn come-on for a porn site. Why would they go through all that stuff about addiction when that's all this is? He couldn't help but smile at the absurdity. Then, looking at the girls, he smiled some more. Down in one corner was a girl that was, well, perfect. 'Jesus,' he thought. 'They do have some lookers here.' This girl looked about 16, with classic pouty lips, and the biggest eyes imaginable. Long brown hair tumbled from her head, uncontrolled and a little tangled. She was dressed not like cyber porn queen, but like a typical teen: cropped tank top, short jean skirt, sandals. And he nails and toes were painted the palest pink. She was completely sweet - not sexy in a porn way, but somehow sexier than any girl ought to be. Jim couldn't help but want her. His member was at high attention. This was a thing of interest. "Click to see Leslie," said the hyperlink. So he did. And wow, was that ever the right click. There was a full layout of pics of this sweet kid. No nudes, but everything but. Leslie in jeans. Leslie in a tiered party dress. Leslie in a bra and teddy bear panties. Leslie dressed for school. Leslie dressed for play. Leslie dressed for bed. This is what Jim lived for. He hand slowly reached down to his crotch, and he started playing with his already erect member. Every glance at Leslie made it twitch just a little more. "Click to hear Leslie," said the next hyperlink. And Jim did - like he had a choice! And out of his pc came the sweetest sounds he'd ever heard. Leslie's voice was singsong, a young girl being happy. Not sultry but incredibly sexy. The voice of an innocent, a but then again not innocent. She wasn't saying anything in particular. Nothing dirty or crude, but simple things like "hi" "nice of you to visit." But the words didn't matter. He was hooked. "Click to be Leslie," said the third and final link. A little ambiguous, but then again Jim didn't really care by this point. Maybe it meant be with Leslie? Buy Leslie? Who knew, but Jim wanted to find out. Up popped a credit card form. $200 was the price to be Leslie. How stupid could he be? This particular baby doll wasn't being given away for free. Jim started to close out, but then stopped. He looked into Leslie's incredible big and round eyes, and just couldn't say goodbye. He wanted to pay, and get more of her. In went his credit card number, and click. "Purchase complete," said the screen. Jim then realized he had no idea what he'd bought. "Thinking with my dick, again, not my wallet," he said aloud. The screen flashed. "Thank you for joining our 'Lose your Addiction' program. We know you will be happy with the new you." 'Fucking great,' Jim thought. 'Back to that crap again.' He tried to cancel, but couldn't. A new page popped up. It was a form, asking for some vital statistics on Jim. 'I've invested 200 bucks already, so I might as well go through with this,' he thought. Age: 39 Height: 6'1". Weight: 200. Hair: black. Education: law grad. Hobbies: basketball, softball, weight training. He clicked. The screen changed, and up came a message "application accepted." "What next?" he wondered. He clicked to go back to the previous page. But nothing happened. Nothing at all. And worse, he couldn't get back to the Leslie pages. "Oh, just fucking great," he said. The memory of Leslie though was still incredibly vivid, so Jim thought he'd just, umm, finish off the job she started. And he did. The feeling, when it came - literally - was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. It was something he felt through his whole body, in wave after wave of pleasure. "Well that was worth $200," he said loudly, only half-joking. He then fell into bed and went right to sleep. That sleep, however, was restless. He dreamed of Leslie. He dreamed of having her. Possessing her. But also of her life, her school. Her friends in school. She probably had a best friend, no doubt another cute girl. And of course a boyfriend. A guy probably on the football team or something. A cute guy, a guy any girl would want... Monday. 'Whoa!' Jim thought, waking up with a start. 'Just a little bit weird,' he thought to himself, remembering the dream and the weird website. "No matter, I'm late for work," he realized. First stop, the bathroom. He sat down quickly, not realizing that he only had to pee. 'Man, I'm outta it today,' he thought. He then showered, and stepping out, saw himself in the mirror. 'Man, my butt is HUGE,' he thought. 'Gotta work on that,' he resolved. The rest of his routine was without incident. He picked out his favorite suit and spent too much time with his hair, but soon was out the door. His commute was a short one. He drove downtown, parking a short walk from his office. One of Jim's morning pleasures was spying the office girls on his way to work. He parked his car about a block from his office, but he didn't mind since the scenery was so rewarding. And he let the girls know it - smiling and even telling them when he thought they were particularly good-looking. He figured the girls dressed to be noticed, so what's wrong with letting them know? Today, however, his senses were in overdrive. He even noticed some women had outfits on meant for fall, when this was spring. It just bothered him. 'Come on babes!' he thought, 'get a calendar!' "Morning, Amy," Jim said to his secretary when he strutted into the office. "Looking nice today," he said. Amy girded herself for the crude comment that was sure to come: "nice ass," "nice tits" or something equally crass. This morning though, it didn't come. "Thanks," she stammered, as Jim went to his office. It took him a while to get focused on his work. Normally he whizzed through the legal stuff piled on his desk - he loved the challenge of litigation. But today it was slow going. He figured he'd just been up too late at the PC. "Another reason to stop doing that," he said." At noon, he went out for lunch, but wasn't really hungry, so he just wandered about the neighborhood. 'You know,' he thought, 'it's time I got myself a new suit.' He went to Jos. A. Banks to pick one up. Usually, this was a 30 minute thing for him. Find a suit, put on the suit. Pay for the suit. But this time, they just didn't seem to have what he wanted. Yeah, they had some nice stuff, but nothing that said "Jim". He tried on suit after suit, and then went back to the one he started with. He just couldn't decide. By the time he finally bought something, it was 2:30. "Wasted the day here!" he said. "You never waste time shopping for good clothing," the salesman retorted. 'True,' Jim thought, and returned to work. He spent the rest of the afternoon in his office, but - to be honest - didn't get much work done. He kept trying to read some briefs for an upcoming case, but his mind kept drifting off. After about an hour he stopped and looked at his notes, and saw... doodles. He hadn't really realized it, but he had just made doodles on the legal pad - stick men, stars, hearts, even some cats and horses. It actually wasn't bad, he thought. But it wouldn't win the case. He looked up and saw it was 6 pm. 'Shit,' he thought. He had no idea it was so late. "They should have a bell or something," he mumbled. On the way out, he stopped quickly in the men's room to straighten his hair and clothing, and then went home. He saw Kate as he got to his apartment. "Hey Kate!" he said (a little too cheerily he thought.) Kate nodded and kept walking down the hallway. She was still giving Jim the deep freeze, but he had completely forgotten about the reason why. He made a mental note to send her some flowers, thinking maybe that would make things better. He went on inside, and cooked himself up some steak and popped open a beer. But he realized he wasn't really hungry. Leaving the food out on the table, he wandered on over to his PC. It had been a tough day for him, and he needed some recreation of a certain sort. On went the computer and he started browsing. Girls in lingerie. Girls with big tits. Girls dancing naked. He liked it, but it gave him little reaction where it counted. Despite that waste of $200 bucks, he seemed to need more, not less of this stuff. Or maybe just a different kind. He clicked over to some harder core sites that he rarely visited. That seemed to be the ticket. There he saw women doing the deed with their partners, taking their guys dicks in their hands, in their mouths. The site of these wonderful women satisfying these men, with their huge members, brought him to the edge. He started rubbing himself, down there, but soon found his hands moving up to his nipples, which were unusually sensitive tonight. And it was touching there that sent him over that edge, with electrifying jolts through his body. Afterward, he visited the "Leslie" site once more. He couldn't resist. She was more captivating than ever. This time, though, it wasn't pure sex appeal. He saw something in her eyes, and felt he knew what she was thinking. A pure empathy with her. He felt like he understood her, on some inner level. But, he reminded himself, she wasn't real - just some pictures on the web. Checking his email one more time, he saw a message from the anti-porn company. And they wanted his personal information again. I'm not giving them anything, he declared to himself. But then he thought - they have $200 of mine, and its lost for sure if I don't respond. So he dutifully filled out the questionnaire again: Age: 31 Weight: 180 Hair color: black Height: 5' 10" Education: College grad Hobbies: Sports, movies 'What a waste of time,' he thought. 'Why do I have to fill out the same darn form each night?' He went to sleep. Tuesday. Jim got up early, more refreshed that he'd ever been in years. He caught himself in the mirror and was pleased with what he saw. It looked like he'd lost some weight, and his face looked younger and healthier. "The gym must be paying off," he reasoned, forgetting he hadn't even gone to the gym in a week. After a quick toast and tea for breakfast (why spoil the weight loss with his usual donut?) showered, then moved to the sink for a quick shave. He quickly finished his face, which had hardly any stubble today, and suddenly realized his legs looked awful. He'd always had a fair amount of hair on them, which he now felt was completely unsexy. 'Can't go in like this,' he thought. He knew a lotta guys shaved their legs - bicyclists for instance. So why couldn't he? It took maybe half and hour, but soon his legs were hairless and smooth. He liked the silky look and feel. Now late for work, he rushed out the door. After adjusting the seat in the car and checking himself in the mirror, he drove downtown. Walking the block from the parking garage to the office, he barely noticed the women he passed on the way, except to wonder how they ever get ready every morning without always being late. "There's just too much to do to look perfect every day," he realized. Rushing into the outer office, he ran into Amy. "Morning" he said. "What a cute top you have on!" Amy was a bit startled but pleased. Jim always dressed well, she knew that. But he hardly ever complimented her clothing. "Where'd you get it?" he followed up. "Umm, Ann Taylor," she said. 'That's a great place,' Jim said, although he didn't think he'd ever been there. Maybe he had, his memory was a little foggy on that. Sitting down at his desk, he felt more bored than the day before, and a little lost. "God, look at all this reading," he whined to himself. But he figured, no one was watching him so it didn't matter whether he did it right away. He ended up finding an old copy of People magazine Amy had brought to the office to read. He read through it, catching up on the latest celebrity gossip. The fashion trends got his interest too - it was so hard to keep up with what was in and what was out, and this was really helpful. Around noon, Mark stopped by. "Ready for b-ball?" he asked. He had completely forgotten their regular lunchtime game with the guys. "Sure thing, gimme a second," he said, grabbing his gym bag and heading out. Luckily, no one noticed his shaved legs when he got on the court. (Although he was a little disappointed too, since his gams did look good!). But everyone noticed something was wrong with his game. It was airball after airball. Not even close ones either - this was stuff that barely landed in the key. And he was passive on defense, almost afraid to get in the opposing players way. "Christ, Jim", said Mark, "why not just wear a dress?" "Umm," he said, momentarily confused. "I promise I'll do better next time," he finally answered meekly. He felt bad he had disappointed Mark - he was a good friend, and he felt he'd let him down. Back to the office he went. This time though, it was like a jail sentence for him. There weren't any more magazines, and everything else was so-so-boring legal stuff. He ended up looking out the window a lot. He combed his hair. He clipped his nails. 'A TV in here would be so great,' he thought. There were some daytime soaps on that he really would have liked to watch. At the stroke of 5, he rushed out the door. "Bye Amy, see you tomorrow!" he said as he whizzed past her. He couldn't wait to get out of there. But he was also in no hurry to go home. So instead of heading straight back to his apartment, he stopped at a local club that he knew was always busy on weeknights. And sure enough it was - filled with all types of office workers who, like him, were trying to escape their lives. Sitting down at the bar, Jim surveyed the crowd. 'Not bad,' he thought, but it was an older crowd tonight. The bartender asked for his order. He wanted his usual, but his mind drew a blank -- beer? A hard drink? "White wine, please," he finally said with a smile. Turning around, he saw on 30ish blonde coming his way dressed, well, dressed for fun: spandex micromini, strappy sandals, lowcut blouse. That got his attention. 'Jesus,' he thought, 'what a slut.' How hard could it be, he thought, to show a little bit more class? Besides, that woman was WAY too old to dress like that. Most of the women, he noticed, were dressed more sensibly, but still fashionably. And they had no problem drawing the guys' interest. Of which there was no shortage, he noticed. Most were bigger guys, sports jocks, he figured. He couldn't help notice one in particular at a nearby table, with his shirt unbuttoned. And who could not notice the bulge in the guy's pants. "Some girl's gonna be happy tonight," he mused, trying not to stare. He left - alone - after a couple of drinks, getting home around 10, Krista was just getting in at the same time from a friends house. "Hi!!" he said. She weakly replied "hi" back. "You look awesome today Krista," he blurted. "Have you lost weight?" "Umm, like no?" she snapped back defensively. She suspected Jim was gay, most 30ish, neatly-dressed guys probably were. He was harmless, but still... She went quickly into her apartment and shut the door. Later that night, Jim was back at the PC. None of the video or photo sites interested him though. He browsed around some, though, and founds some sites with "erotic fiction." Stupid but steamy little stories about romance and passion, and beautiful women being taken by muscular guys. He had forgotten how much words could get to him, but it did. He felt no urge to masturbate tonight though, but instead just enjoyed the feeling the stories gave him. Of course, Leslie was again his last stop. Once again, he admired her perfect body. He could imagine how hard it was to keep up. 'She's incredibly lucky,' he thought, thinking of how food just turned straight into fat on him. It also occurred to him that she probably never had any problems at all getting guys. 'Wish it were that easy for me,' he thought. "With girls," he quickly added out loud. Again, before logging off, Jim checked his email. Turns out there were once again an email from that weird website. "Sheesh, not the questionnaire again!" he whined. He thought about just writing "same as before!" and hitting "reply", but then remembered that they warned him that he could forfeit his $200 if he didn't follow the rules. So, he wrote out all the answers yet again: Age: 25 Weight: 160 Hair color: Brown Height: 5'9" Education: College Hobbies: Working out, movies, reading novels. Wednesday James woke up early again, brushing some stray hair out of his eyes. "Darn do I ever need a haircut," he realized. Stumbling to the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror with groggy eyes. It wasn't so much that his shaggy hair was framing a rather feminine-looking face. He remembered, fuzzily, that he'd always been teased for looking girlish. But his skin was terribly blotchy, with pimples breaking out in places. He quickly put some concealer over it, which effectively covered it up. He didn't quite remember where the makeup had come from. But he was glad it was there, it came in handy. He was a little frustrated there wasn't any other stuff though. He really thought he could use a little foundation, just to even out his skin. And, actually, a little blush wouldn't hurt to brighten his cheeks. He went into his closet to get dressed. It was stocked full of clothes - suits of all kinds, colorful ties, all kinds of shirts. James knew he had always been a clothes horse. But still, he was stumped as to what to wear. It was between seasons, early spring. 'Always tough to decide this time of year,' he thought. He tried on 3-4 outfits before deciding on an Italian double-breasted suit with a pale pink shirt. Out the door he went. He had to spend quite some time re-adjusting the seats in the car. "Probably the parking attendant changed it," he said. He wished they wouldn't do that, but those guys scared him, so he never mentioned it. Walking the block to the office, he felt he was getting looks from both men and women. He kind of liked the thought that he was turning heads; it meant people appreciated his fashion sense. And, of course, he checked other people out too. Most people, of course, were fashion disasters. The women more than the men, he thought. No matter how the men dressed, it occurred to him, they could be sexy. "Hi Amy," he practically shouted as he arrived at work. "Hey James, you look terrific today!" She knew that he loved compliments. James returned the compliment, although he secretly thought her skirt was a little too short for work. Amy liked working with James. He was fun to be around, more like a co- worker than a boss. Boss? She wondered why she thought that. They both reported to the same guy. Anyway, they were close, sharing gossip and chatting a lot. 'I wonder if he's gay?' she thought, as she looked at him. Funny, in all her time with him, that had never crossed her mind, although it seemed pretty obvious to her now. "I'll be in here," James said, pointing to his office, a small one adjacent to the senior partner's. As a paralegal, his job was pretty important, he knew. The litigators couldn't do their job without him. It wasn't easy though, and he had an especially hard time today. He looked at the pile of papers, and even tried to read some of them, but it was hopeless. The words were incredibly long, and the sentences impossible. 'They can't expect us to know this stuff!' he thought. Instead, he began to surf the Internet. He found lots and lots of cool sites, some on fashion. Others with makeup hints. Some on romance. That one got James' interest. He daydreamed about being on a date with the person of his dreams. It would start with a dinner, then dancing, then maybe a moonlight walk. It had seemed forever since he had enjoyed that sort of thing. He wondered whether he had been doing something wrong. No one had asked him out in such a long time. Maybe he could make himself more attractive... Amy walked in, waking him from his musing. "I'm going out shopping - want to come with?" James quickly agreed. Maybe new clothes were just what he needed. There was a mall nearby, and James and Amy decided to walk there. There was a spring in his step today - James even felt that he'd lost a few pounds. "Maybe skipping lunch will help me lose even more," he mused. The thought pleased him. He didn't notice it, but his hips had gained a slight sway as well. He saw Mark and some of the guys as they walked out. Mark kinda stared at James, but didn't say anything. James remembered that he used to spend time with that crowd, but that seemed a long time ago. Some of them were cute, he admitted, but he wasn't into that jock stuff. At the mall, he mostly followed Amy around as she shopped. The stuff was so much fun, he thought. At the Gap, he picked up a pair of black pants, and without thinking, put it up on him. They were stretchy, with a low- rise waistband. It was for women, he realized, but it seemed perfect. "You know," Amy said, confirming his opinion, "that wouldn't look bad on you!" For some reason, she thought, it just suited him. "Looking for something in particular?" asked a salesgirl. "Well, umm, no, not really," James stammered. "What is your size?" the girl asked. "Ten, I'd think", she guessed. "Well, no, I'm not..." Jim started to protest, but Amy cut him off. "Yes, a ten," she said mischievously. "Ok, why don't you try it on?" the salesgirl suggested. "Sure," said Jim, and he started looking for the men's changing room. "Oh, it's here sweetie," the salesgirl helpfully said. She was leading him to the women's room. 'Oh, geez, she's thinks I'm female!' Jim whispered to Amy. Amy almost burst out laughing, then decided, "what the heck" and walked Jim over to the changing rooms. James tried on the pants, and they fit perfectly! The butt actually fit better than his regular pants. He bought them. Amy and James picked out some other clothes too - a white cap-sleeved shirt, and a couple of tees, before heading back to work. He dreaded walking back into the office. Sitting down, he realized that the stuff they wanted him to do was way over his head. The legal papers on his desk made no sense, like a mid-term he hadn't studied for. He really hoped they wouldn't quiz him or anything today, because he'd flunk for sure. It all seemed so pointless anyway. 'This is SOO lame,' he thought. "Like, who cares about this stuff!" he whined to himself. In boredom, he looked at his fingers. "OMG, look at this!" His nails were cracked and chewed down. "This just WON'T do," he said aloud. He then picked up an emery board and started trimming his nails. "I can't believe I've let these go so." After about an hour, his nails were shiny and shaped perfectly. He looked around. Nothing else to do. "I'm leaving," he decided. The clock said 3:00, but somehow it seemed a full day. "Bye bye, Amy!" he said as he flew out. Amy just nodded. "He is such a girl!" she laughed. James got home around 3:30. The drive was kinda hard today, he didn't know why - the traffic wasn't very heavy. For some reason the car seemed hard to handle - his feet had to stretch to reach the pedals, and the steering wheel was way too high. He saw Krista as he came in. 'She was so cool,' he thought. He hadn't noticed before, but she seemed to have matured. Krista said she was just waiting for her Mom to come home. "Hey wanna watch TV with me?" he said. Krista hesitated. "Was this a come on?" But she rejected the idea. A come on was pretty unlikely from fem-boy like James. They ended up watching TV for hours. There was a TV movie on about a girl who met a boy from another town and fell in love. He got sick and almost died, but then recovered. It was stupid, but both Krista and James were crying at the end. Afterward, Krista and James talked a lot about romance and what they thought of love and things like that. It was so fun, James thought. Around 6:30, Krista's Mom stopped by to tell Krista she was at home. She had a really pretty minidress on, but James felt sorry for her, because her breasts seemed so big. "That must be uncomfortable", he thought, glad that he didn't have to deal with that. He remembered that she was mad at him for some reason, but didn't know why. Anyway, she seemed cool with him now. James mixed up a quick salad for dinner, and went to his usual seat in front of the PC. He found his favorite erotic fiction sites again, but then browsed some more and found some with less explicit sex and more romance. The stories really got to James, and even though they weren't "dirty" in that way, the found them physically exciting. Just before bed, James filled out the usual form from that dumb company: Age: 20 Weight: 140 Hair color: Light brown Height: 5'7 Education: High school grad Hobbies: Aerobics, reading, dancing 'This is like soooo stupid,' he thought as he slipped into bed. 'Why do I have to give them the same info every night!?' Thursday Jamie woke up about 7 am, feeling incredibly good. He couldn't remember sleeping that well in years. He put on his slippers and a gown and went to the bathroom. Jamie jumped in the shower, and scrubbed with a perfumed shower gel. It felt great. Without thinking, he then shaved his legs again, as well as his tummy, and his crotch area. He was a bit surprised so much hair had been there. It was like he hadn't done that in forever. Looking in the mirror, Jamie saw his hair was a mess. He started brushing it and brushing it, and finally it started to behave. He dabbed on bit of makeup on to his face, just a little loose powder and some lipgloss. Looking at himself in the mirror, he was pleased. He looked good, cute even. He put on a suit - a white summery one, with a satin shirt. He put on some black patent leather loafers that went great with that outfit. At first they seemed strange - the heels felt a little high. But after a second, he sorta remembered that that was what he normally wore. If anything, they were a teeny bit low. He left for the office about 8:30. The car seat took like forever to set just right. He had no idea why he had such a big car - a smaller one would be so much easier to handle, thought. After parking the car (thank GOD he didn't have to parallel park, he thought!), he walked the block to the office. He noticed the girls were all wearing the nicest spring dresses. They really looked fun to wear. The guys, however, seemed to be the most interesting today. The suits were drab, he admitted, but it was fun imagining what was inside. "Hi Jamie!" said Amy, as he walked in. "You're late! Lots to do today!" she said. She motioned Jamie to the cubicle next to her. It was festooned with pictures of flowers and cats, and a few boy singers. It was small, but he liked it. And Amy, the senior admin asst, was cool to work for. He hoped she wasn't mad at him for being late. He worked hard all morning. He was kinda glad he just had to file and sort the papers and stuff. He didn't have a clue what they said. It was all dumb legal stuff. He really admired the lawyers who understood this stuff. They were smart, and he liked that. Around 12:30, Jamie worked up the nerve to ask Amy if he could take a long lunch and go shopping today." Amy said ok, warning her not to take too long. She was pretty awesome about this stuff, Jamie thought. Jamie skipped out, and quickly found himself back at the mall. This time he tried on a lot more than yesterday He tried on everything, and bought most of it. Some from the guys section, but mostly stuff made for girls. It just seemed to fit better, and was so much cuter to wear. He even bought some panties and stuff in the lingerie section. The salesgirl looked at him funny, but he really did need new undies, and the guy's stuff was way too boring. By the time he left, he was burdened under by bags, two or three on each arm. Strange, though, that used to be manageable for him. But today, it seemed impossible. He looked around, thinking maybe a guy would step up and help him at least to his car. "Like, how hard would that be?" he reasoned. He finally managed to make it back to work. It was totally boring though. Amy had him filing reports all day, and that was just not fun. When no one was looking, he looked through fashion magazines, and even painted his nails a little. Finally, Amy said he could go home. Boy was he ever ready to go! On the way out, he passed Mark. Jamie flashed him the biggest smile he had, and Mark couldn't help but smile back at him. "Amazing," Mark said, to Jamie's delight. "It's so hard to tell, you look so good." Jamie liked that. He wondered whether he would let her watch one of his basketball games some day. It'd be fun. He'd make a good cheerleader she thought. Jamie continued down to the bus stop and right away the no. 15 came around. It dropped her off right by her apartment. Arriving home, Jamie couldn't wait to shed his stupid, icky suit. He couldn't imagine what she was thinking when he put that on. After changing into shorts and a tank top, he looked in the mirror. He was happy with what she saw. His body had a feminine shape to it. He wasn't happy with his breasts, though. They were so small, and made him look so boyish. Bigger ones would make him popular he thought. He walked over to Krista's apartment, seeing Kate by the door when she came in. He really admired her. She looked so sophisticated and, for an older woman, very attractive. "Is Krista home? Jamie asked. "Yeah, she's in her room", Jamie. "Go on in." Jamie and Krista hung out together until dinner, mostly watching TV. Krista even fixed Jamie's hair a little. He was really impressed. 'Odd that I'd never learned how to do that,' he thought. But he was glad Krista was teaching her. She, like everyone else, found it hard to remember that Jamie was a boy, so she just treated her like a girlfriend. "If you grow it a tiny bit longer," Krista said, "I could make your hair even prettier." Kate made them both dinner, then around 8 pm, Jamie went back to his place. He got on the computer, as usual. He read some of his favorite fiction stuff. It was exciting, but it made him a little uneasy too. It was like he was doing something he shouldn't be doing. He kept looking at the door, kinda worried someone would come in. Before bed, he answered her daily questionnaire thingie: Age: 18 Weight: 120 Hair color: auburn Height: 5'4" Education: High school Hobbies: gymnastics, shopping, movies. Tomorrow was the sixth day since signing up for this weird program. Friday Jami woke up late this morning. The house seemed empty. Why was she alone? She couldn't think of who would be there, but somehow it didn't feel right. She shook off the feeling, and jumped in the shower, then quickly made up her face. She went to put on clothes, but suddenly stopped. She couldn't think of anything to wear. It wasn't just that she couldn't decide. She had no idea what she was supposed to wear. Or what she usually wore. She was thinking a dress would be fun. But that seemed somehow wrong. A suit? She pictured herself in a guy's suit. That didn't seem right. A skirt suit? No, that wasn't it. She finally picked out a rather neutral pant suit, in dark blue. Getting off the bus, she walked to block to her work. Again, she was tentative, having to think hard about what building to go to. A guy stopped to ask if she was ok. She said yeah, and he said, "Ok, miss, I was worried." 'Miss?' she thought. That didn't seem right.. But that's what she was. She knew she was a young woman of... of... of... whatever... "How old am I?" she wondered. "30? 20? 25? 18? I don't know!" she screamed in her head. She kept walking. When she got the office, she saw Amy right away. "Morning Jami!" she said. "Go ahead and sit over there." She pointed to a table out in the common area. "There's some photocopying you can help with, OK?" She did that stuff every day, but it seemed weird to her. But then it struck her - she didn't know how to do it. "What if I don't do it right?" she fretted. She wanted Amy to be happy with her work, and worried thought she'd mess it all up. She vaguely remembered thinking she was good at this stuff, but that didn't make sense. She knew that she was too much of a ditz. Picking up the papers, she walked over to the copy room. On the way, Mark stopped to talk to her. He kept looking her up and down, making Jami uneasy. He looked a little disappointed though. "Why the pantsuit?" he asked. "Why not just wear a dress?" Why not? She didn't know. Moving on, she passed a big office, one where one of the partners worked. He wasn't in, and Jami couldn't help but take a peek. She walked in timidly. It really really looked familiar. She walked over the desk. She saw a picture there, of a rather well- built guy, maybe in his 30s or 40s. He looked cute, but also familiar. She KNEW this guy! But from where? She quickly rushed out of the office. Frankly, it was giving her chills. It was so weird. And so confusing. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to think about anything. She wanted - needed - suddenly just to go hide. To go someplace and be alone. She couldn't think, she just wanted to be alone. She practically ran to the bathroom. She started to open the door. "Men's room" it said. "No! I want the women's room...don't I?" No, the men's room. Wait, the boys room. OMG, no, I need to find the girl's room." She didn't know. She didn't know who she was. He got dizzy. She didn't know what was happening. It was fuzzy. She wanted to go home... he didn't know where he was... she dropped to the floor. Saturday "She waking up!" a voice said. "She'll be ok!" Jami opened her eyes, and saw she was back in her apartment. "Wow, that was close," said a woman, she at first didn't recognize. "Baby, are you ok?" "Mom!" Jami yelled, hugging her mother as hard as she could. Kate and Kristi were there too. Kristi had been frantic - she was two years older, and always had taken care of her little sister. She loved them both more than anything else in the world. Jami's Mom kept her in bed most of the day. She felt better by late afternoon, though, and begged her Mom to let her get up and get dressed. "Ok, princess, just take it easy." She got up, took off her sleep shirt, and started getting dressed. Teddy bear panties and bra on first. Then squiggling into her favorite jean mini, then the top, and finally shoes. He dabbed a little makeup on. Not much - her mother said she was too young for it. After she was finished, she looked in the full-length mirror in her room. Her heart stopped. The girl looking back at her looked familiar. It was a face she knew. A body she had seen. It was... LESLIE. No doubt about it. She remembered a website where vaguely remembered there were pictures of this same girl. She got on her PC and quickly found it. And there she was. Down to the big eyes, pouty lips, and long, brown uncontrollable tresses. But how could that be? Why did she look like this other girl? 'Silly me,' she thought. Because I am Leslie! She felt so stupid for not remembering that. She remembered taking those pictures one night and putting them on the web under a fake name. She had dressed up and posed in all sorts of outfits, even her underwear, she remembered in horror. She had recorded her own voice, too, saying dumb things she thought sounded sexy. It was dumb, she now realized. Who knew who had been looking at her? She clicked "user account," then "Leslie". "Delete account?" said the box. She clicked "yes." Before logging out, she looked at some of the pictures of the other girls. They looked pretty she thought, but - looking at them in their underwear made her blush just a little. She tried to imagine the guys who surfed these places. 'Prolly pretty old,' she thought, '30 or more maybe.' "Ick," she said, brushing the hair out from in front of her eyes. She honestly couldn't understand why guys did that stuff. "Boys are SO weird," she concluded. But weird or not, they still fascinated her. A LOT, she admitted. For the past couple of years, actually she was always thinking about them. She had never actually been with a guy, but she imagined constantly what it would be like. That's why she answered that thing from that site she visited last week. It promised that if she took this quiz thingie every day for a week, she'd learn how to handle her boy fascination. It asked for some money, so she used her Mom's credit card. If she asked, she'd just say it was more clothes she figured. Curious now, she surfed over to the site to look at it again. The answers she gave on the last quiz were still up: Age: 16 Height: 5'2" Weight: 110 Hair color: Strawberry blonde. Grade: H.S. sophomore Hobbies: shopping, boys, dance "God, I'm like so dumb!" she thought. It'd been a week, and she still couldn't get over boys. Sunday Jami slept late. She kept having really weird dreams about sex and stuff, and about being more grown up than she was. That afternoon, Mom let her go with her friends to the mall. Shopping was the best therapy, she figured, and before too long, Jami was her old self again. They went to like a zillion stores, and Jami bought loads of stuff. It was also a great place to boy watch, and be boy-watched. She was a terrible tease, sometimes letting her skirt ride up "accidentally" to see a boy's reaction. One boy was particularly interesting - Mark. His Dad was some big law guy downtown, and Jami could tell he was smart too. After some "hi"s and stuff, they found they liked the same bands and had a lot of the same friends too. And he was sexy. Looking at his pants, she could tell he thought she was sexy too. "Hey, there's a party tonight at this friends house, wanna go?" Mark asked. "Yes!" Jami answered, probably a little too eagerly. She said goodbye to her friends, and got in his car. It was an awesome party with lotsa boys, some even looked like seniors or older. They had beer - Mark offered her some, and she drank it down. Then she had more, and more. Then they had some other stuff. Pretty soon, Jami was feeling so good. She could barely walk as Mark took her into a back room. He sat her down on a bed and kissed her. She sorta knew what was going to happen. And she wanted it to as much as he did. She expected something like a fairytale, with Mark as the prince. But Mark was no prince, just aggressive. He, not to subtly grabbed her, and after a desultory kiss or two, began tearing off her clothes. Before long he was stroking her breasts, and more. Soon after that, he was on top of her, pumping and then finishing up fast. She was surprised, and disappointed. He then left the room, and the party, just as quickly. The whole thing in a fuzzy, fuzzy way was familiar to Jami. And it made her feel guilty. That didn't make sense, though. It was Mark, that should feel bad, not her. Still very confused and shaken, Jami pulled her clothes back on as best she could, and managed to find a bus home. Once back in her bedroom, Jami broke down and cried. She felt trapped. Boys were endlessly in her mind, but she felt they would all use her. Mark did, others would too. She didn't want that. There was no way out. Just then, she remembered that site she had paid money too. They had promised her obsession would end. She logged on, and got on their help line: Jami: Hi? Operator: Can I help you? Jami: You said you would help me handle boys but you didn't! Your stupid service said I'd get over boys in six days, but it didn't work! Operator: I have your file here. Actually it didn't say boys, just sex addiction... Jami: Does that matter? Nothing has changed. Operator: Well, more than you think. You aren't addicted to sex, are you? Jami: No, I guess not, but I still think about boys and sex a lot. I want you to make me stop thinking about that stuff. Can help me do that right now? Operator: You sure? Jami said "yes." Operator: OK, I'll complete your program now. Hold on. A few minutes passed. Jami felt a little dizzy and confused. She looked again at the screen and saw the word "yes," but couldn't remember why she had typed it. She was a little worried she had done something wrong and hoped it didn't get her into trouble. A message popped up: Operator: Is it all right now? Jami: Yeah, I'm ok. Operator: What do you think about boys? She thought hard about this. She thought of the boys in her class. "They are kinda boring and stupid," she wrote. The operator persisted: "You don't like boys?" "Eww, no!" Jami typed. "They're so... dirty. And so immature, and stuff like that". "I hafta go," she quickly added. She was worried someone would catch her talking to a stranger on the Internet. Before she logged off, a cool-looking page of questions came up. She really liked these things, sometimes they promised really fun prizes. She filled it out, and read the answers to see if they were right: Age: 11 1/2 Height: 4 feets Weight: about 90 Hair color: blond Grade: 6 Hobbies: My barbies :), drawing pitchers, watching TV She hoped that was ok. By now it was past bedtime, so she quickly shut off the ?puter and changed into her bedtime clothes. As she jumped into bed, she thought about what that person said about boys. Her big sister Krista had told her about what girls did with boys, and it sounded so gross. 'I don't even want to think about it,' she thought to herself. And certainly she didn't want to try it. She fell to sleep quickly, happy and content to be who she was.