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Teri (My life in the closet) By Teri Franken Sometimes it is good to get things off your chest, and that is what I am doing in this story. The events are true, of course the names are changed, but these are the things that have happened to me over the past 48 years. I was born in the early 60's to a catholic family in Boston. My dad was a policeman and my mother was primarily a housewife, although she did work off and on during my childhood. I was the third of four children and I was the only boy. One early recollection I have was when I attended kindergarten. I was a fairly rambunctious little boy, full of energy and prone to getting in trouble at school. One day a group of us boys were making a lot of noise and the teacher had reached the end of her rope. "If you boys don't stop this nonsense, I will dress each of you as little girls to calm you down." Well most of the boys thought of that as being a scary thing, if you wore girls clothes, you would be a girl then right? I was fascinated by the thought of being a girl and dressing like one. I did not act on my thoughts, but they remained with me for the rest of my life. When I was in fourth grade, we moved away to the suburbs and I started attending a public school. This was refreshing since I had been in a parochial school previously and it sucked! One night, I was in our only bathroom in our new house and I noticed that my mother had some clothes on a wooden rack drying. I saw that one of the items was a body suit, you know the ones from the late sixties/early seventies that had a snap crotch and were like a leotard. For some reason, and I still to this day do not know why, but I tried it on there in the bathroom. From that moment on, I became hooked on women's clothes. My early days of dressing up were done in the bathroom, mainly trying on things that were drying, bras, pantyhose, body suits etc. As I approached puberty, I got more daring and started waiting until everyone was out of the house. Then I would go to my older sister's room and dress completely, panties, girdle, pantyhose, bra, slip, the whole nine yards. I was amazed that I never got caught or that my sister never suspected anything. I was constantly masturbating, every chance I got. I would beat off at least twice before I went to bed at night, usually fantasizing about lingerie and wearing women's clothes. After my dressing sessions, I noticed that the girdles would get pre-cum stains on them and some of her dresses actually had the side seam blown out, but nothing was ever said to me. I even took sick days from school and dressed up in my favorite outfits. My mother had a couple of wigs that I even wore on those days. I experimented with makeup, but it was mainly lipstick, never the whole way. In my senior year of school, I attended a Halloween party in a dress. My mother helped me get dressed in a wool dress, bra, wig, pantyhose and makeup. I wore my gym shorts under the dress, she never offered me panties! Since it was the 70's, I wore my own shoes that had big clunky heels since they were the style for guys at that time. I enlisted in the military after high school and left home at 18 years of age. After boot camp, I came home and packed my stuff to bring with me to North Carolina. I added a couple of outfits from my sisters discarded clothing to bring with me. After I got to NC, I dressed up a few times in my room, but was terrified that I would be caught, so I got rid of my girly things. It was around this time that I became very interested in cross dressing stories and used that as my outlet for the times I could not get dressed up. I spent a year oversees and ventured out in town one night and bought some lingerie under the guise it was for a Christmas present. I spent the night in a hotel by myself, wearing the baby doll night gown and pantyhose beating off all night long! The next day I threw the stuff away and went back to the base. I was next assigned to a base in California and found myself surrounded by alternative lifestyles. The local town had a large cross dressing community, there were even she-male hookers that hung out near the bus station! Military bases are a magnet for alternate lifestyles, I think because there is a large portion of people in the military who enjoy the lifestyle? Just my opinion. I met and was dating a beautiful girl who would eventually become my wife. She knew nothing about my "other side" and I really longed to tell someone else about my true feelings. I read some of the local adult newspapers and found an ad for a cross dresser who lived in LA. I called her and we talked off and on for a couple of weeks. Eventually she asked me to come up to LA for a weekend visit, she would dress me up and we could have some fun together. I decided to take her up on it and took the bus to LA. When I arrived in LA, I called her again, but our schedules were messed up, she was expecting me the following week. I decided to wander around the bus station before I caught a ride back south. I went in to the cafeteria and sat down to have a coke while I waited for my bus. A man came up and asked if he could join me at the table, and I said it was okay. He was probably 40 years old, Hispanic and was very nice. We talked for a while and then it dawned on me; he was trying to pick me up! I had never acted on any of my bisexual fantasies, so I decided to see where this would lead. He asked me if I would like to go back to his place, which was about a 20 minute drive from the bus station. I agreed and he said he would bring me back to the bus station later on. During the drive, he reached over and put his hand on my knee, it kinda weirded me out for a while, but I was excited too and just decided to let the night play out. When we got to his place, we went in and had a drink and he started to unbuckle my pants while pulling me over to the bed. We kissed, which was a new experience for me, and then he got on his back and asked me to fuck him. He kept his hand over his crotch and would not let me touch his cock, he only wanted me to fuck him in the ass, kiss him and suck on his nipples. I was extremely disappointed; this was not what I had wanted for my first gay experience. I fucked him twice and then he cleaned off my cock and I asked him to take me back to the bus station. I caught a bus back to San Diego feeling very frustrated with what happened. I had to attend a school in San Diego and one night I went out to a club that featured female impersonators. I really enjoyed the show. I got friendly with one of the performers; his name was Eric/Erica. We hit it off really well and he asked me to pick him up later that night after he was done with the show. I agreed and came back at midnight to pick him up at the back door of the club. I came back a little early and parked on the side waiting for Eric and he peeked out the door, gave me a wave and came running over to the car. When he got in the car, he leaned over and I gave him a nice open mouth kiss that felt really nice! He was wearing a pair of gym shorts with a tank top, but he had on pantyhose under the shorts. He recommended that we go for a walk on the beach near Coronado, so I drove and we talked. When we got to Mission Bay, we got out and took a walk, holding hands and just enjoying the nice summer night. There was no one else near us and Eric suggested that we sit on the grass and get to know each other better. We sat down and began kissing in earnest and before long Eric had my pants unzipped and was eagerly sucking on my cock. I was nervous that we would be arrested and then my military career would be over, but the feelings were nice. I rubbed Eric's legs and had my hands in his shorts, but that was as far as we went. After I shot my load, Eric gave me a big kiss and we decided that I had better bring him back to his car. He promised that the next time we would go to his place, he would have taken me tonight, but he did not know me well enough at first. He told me that after the first kiss, he was in love with me. We agreed to meet again in a week, and I told him not to be surprised to see me in the audience of his show over the next week too. He commented that I could have removed his pantyhose if I had wanted to, and I promised that the next time nothing would hold me back. I waited until mid week and called Erica and she seemed excited that I had called her back, and I was also excited to see her again. She gave me directions to her place, told me she would meet me at the 7-11 at the corner and then take me over to her house. She lived in a basement apartment below her sister's house. On Saturday morning, I was anxious to meet Erica. I dressed in blue jeans, t-shirt, sneakers and a baseball hat and drove the 15 miles to the 7-11. I was there for 5 minutes when Erica came around the corner of the store, she was wearing a pair of cut offs and a tie dyed USMC t-shirt and sandals. She jumped in beside me, gave me a quick peck on the cheek and directed me out of the parking lot towards her house. When we pulled up in front of the house, her sister came running out to meet me. She gave me a hug and told me that Erica was so excited that I was coming over. Erica took me by the hand and led me down the stairs to her apartment. The d?cor was very feminine, the bed was large and had a big white silk comforter on it. There was also a white shag rug on the floor. Erica wasted no time in getting me undressed and then I assisted in getting her stripped too. I had a feeling that this was going to be a memorable moment in my life, and I was not mistaken. Erica pulled me to the floor and the soft shag rug and immediately started sucking my cock. I reached for her cock and she asked if I wanted to suck her too? I smiled and we quickly got into a 69 position and stayed that way until we both had our orgasms. We spent the morning, sucking and fucking, she had an amazing ass and knew how to give everything she had to make sure I was enjoying myself. We fucked doggy style, missionary style and in a spoon position. I never knew how much fun sex could be, I was still pretty na?ve about sex and had only had a couple of experiences with women along the way. We were lying on the floor in the afterglow and Erica asked me if I had ever been fucked before and I admitted that I had not, but was very much willing to try. She had me get on all fours and then she got behind me and proceeded to eat out my ass before she attempted to stick her cock in me. The pain was immense and she finally decided to stop and we agreed that I would work on stretching my ass with my fingers before we tried that again. I did suck her off one more time before we had enough sex for the day. One day I called and asked her if I could come over and see her, and she was very happy to see me again. She looked me in the eye and said, "Terry, I know that you can't be seen in public with me, so if we are ever out and I see you, I will just admire you from afar, I will never jeopardize the love I have for you or your career." That brought a tear to my eye and I realized that it was possible for two men to really love each other. I shared with her my love for women's clothes and she agreed to dress me up one day after we had sex. She was an expert with makeup and after she was done, she took my picture. She wanted to enter me in a drag contest in San Diego as her drag sister, but we both knew that would never happen. When I looked in the mirror, I was shocked. I did not look like myself, I had a striking resemblance to Connie Stevens! I went into the bathroom to remove my makeup and put my own clothes back on, when I came out Erica had some visitors. She introduced me to her friends who were both drag queens; one was actually the "grand dame" of the San Diego drag scene. I shook her hand and we talked for a few minutes, they both told Erica that I was a keeper, which was rather awkward for me?? I eventually got married and lost touch with Erica, but will never forget her. I still get horny just thinking about her and what we shared. I was back in San Diego a few years later and tried looking her up, but the club had changed over to a gay dance club and her apartment was rented out to someone else. I heard that she had met a navy guy and after he retired, they had moved to Australia. I hope that she found happiness and is living a happy life. I still dress up occasionally, still beat off, still think of Erica and am still deep in the closet. I have yet to be fucked, but think I could handle it much easier now! I retired form the military a few years back and now work in the private sector. Whenever I go on the road, I stop and buy myself some lingerie items and then sit in my hotel room and read cross dresser stories on line and visit some of the web sites that cater to our wonderful lifestyle and beat off wishing I was one of the girls from the story or the web site. I wish the web had been available back when I was in my twenties?? Hugs to everyone, Teri Franken [email protected]

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Damn! It was like my father threw a switch when he said that. My mind started going in a million directions at once. There must been some indication of what was happening to me because as soon as things started whirling around, I could feel Bev taking my hand. I squeezed back, unable to say anything coherent as I sat at the table with my mind going a mile a minute. The first thoughts were how I'd fucked up. I'd failed Dad in not curing him, I'd neglected to think of all the possibilities...

4 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 10

I woke up with Bev still wrapped around me. I leaned over a bit and kissed her forehead. She tilted her head up for a real kiss. "I've got to pee," I said after we broke the kiss. Somehow during the night the bedclothes had become wrapped around us. We finally got loose and I took off for the bathroom, just making it. I decided I might as well take care of everything so I brushed my teeth and started the shower. Bev shuffled in and plopped down on the toilet while I was waiting for the...

4 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 11

When the alarm went off at 3:45, I got right up, ignoring the snooze button I'd planned on hitting a couple of times. I thought about all the bullshit we'd gone through over the past couple of days, getting ready for the trip, then compared it to the planning of what to put in a backpack for a five day wilderness trip last winter. The attention was on making it light back then, taking only those things that I believed were essential. This time, space and weight were considerations but being...

3 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 12

I don't know what I expected but it didn't happen. He just lay there, not breathing, his heart stopped. We did all the usual tests as soon as he died. I laid my head on his chest for over a minute, listening for a heartbeat. Bev was checking for a pulse on both his wrist and his neck while I was doing that. After a time, she pulled out a mirror (it wasn't on the list but women always have mirrors and Kleenex) wiped it off on her shirt, then held it near his nose for a minute or two. It was...

4 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 13

"Did you dream?" I asked Bev. We were sitting on the sleeping bags. "I don't know. I don't remember anything after we were talking about the sand being warm under me and me telling you to move away." "That was tough. I know it was necessary but it was torture sleeping so close to you without being able to touch you. I just wanted to wrap my arm around you or take your hand in mine but every time I made an effort to, I was stopped. Couldn't get my arm to move, was stuck on my back...

3 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 14

It took five days for the gunk to work its way out of Dad's system. I had envisioned the cancer as a mass of cells I could probably hold in my hands, not the buckets of sludge that oozed out of his mouth. Maybe something was mixed in with it to wrest it away from the body. I wouldn't be surprised if all the waste products that would normally be shit or pissed out were a part of it. I mentioned that I was curious how the body grew if it wasn't taking in any nourishment; that it would take...

3 years ago
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AlteristChapter 1

It's not uncommon for an old dog to take off and search out a place to die. I don't know if they don't want to burden their masters or if they just want to end their lives without anyone around. They may not be able to walk across the room with you there, but somehow they find the strength to make it to their final resting place, get as comfortable as they can and give up the ghost. This place reminded me of that. I was deep inside a cave, in a kind of alcove that had widened as I crawled...

4 years ago
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AlteristChapter 2

For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction. I think it was Isaac Newton that came up with that. Whoever it was, he was right. Nothing like proving it in the middle of winter over a raging river. There I was, playing hero, trying to save a stoned asshole from going over a cliff, thereby cleansing the gene pool. As soon as I pushed back on his feet, I felt my arms move. Since I happened to be mid-air at the time, my whole body moved along with them. It was a 70 foot fall. I'd...

3 years ago
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AlteristChapter 3

As soon as I sat up, dumping pine needles all around me, I felt the cold. First things first, though. I had to pee. I took stock of my body. The right leg felt tight where I'd pulled out the stick. I'd have to take it easy on that so I didn't open up the wound. My left foot felt dead. I mean, it wasn't numb, it wasn't the normal feeling of no feeling, it wasn't asleep, there was more nothingness there. I rolled over and crawled to the nearest tree. There was a stick on the ground that...

2 years ago
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AlteristChapter 4

I woke a couple of hours before sunrise. There was no clock and I was way back in the cave but I instinctively knew what time it was. I washed my face and took a drink, then went up to the front of the cave. My meat looked good. A cup of coffee would be nice, but then, so would a fuck. You can't have everything. I went down the hill. Most of the carcass was missing, just a few bones scattered around. I hadn't heard anything but it looked like wolves to me. I pissed, decided I wasn't...

4 years ago
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AlteristChapter 5

I picked up my ram head and started to leave. Karen handed me a gas card app with her name and number written on it. "Text me." "OK." I put my empty arm around her and pulled her into me and gave her a kiss. It wasn't as hot as our other kiss was but it would do. "Thanks. I'll see you." I put the card in my back pocket. As the door closed behind me, I heard her mumble "I wish." I went down the two steps to the ground and Bev grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me into her. She...

2 years ago
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AlteristChapter 6

I woke up a couple of hours before dawn. This could become a habit, I thought to myself. I noticed that I was still able to see in the dark. Something like a cat's enhanced night vision, I guess, and it looked like it was here to stay. I shouldn't have to describe my position. I'm sure that any 17 year old male who'd slept the night with an unfamiliar female would wake up in this position. My right hand was exactly where Bev had placed it. One or both of us had squirmed back and forth...

2 years ago
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AlteristChapter 7

I think I jumped back an inch or two when she said that. It hit me like someone had splashed cold water in my face. I hadn't given a thought to how I was going to use these new powers of mine other than to get whatever I happened to desire at the time. True, some of that desire was things that made the difference between life and death, but getting Karen to swap spit with me wasn't exactly what you would call noble. I thought about the line from the first Spiderman film — with power comes...

4 years ago
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AlteristChapter 8

Both men got out of the Navigator. The other guy looked familiar. Perkins came up to me first and took my hand in both of his, holding on while he said, "What did you decide?" "I'll be happy to do what you ask. I reserve the right not to lie about anything." He pumped my hand. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He let go and held out his had to the other man. "This is Rob Andrews. He writes for the Gazette." Andrews held out his hand and shook mine. He held up a small tape...

3 years ago
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AlteristChapter 9

I woke up early again but it was different this time. I had my usual morning wood but it wasn't buried in Bev's butt. There was something suckling on it like a baby on a milk filled tit. I lay back and enjoyed the sensations, then I felt the bed shift on my right and something soft was lapping at my balls. I relaxed and let it happen; I felt the tingles and Vicky said, "They're tightening up," and I started pushing. Bev grabbed onto the exposed part of my cock and moved her whole head up...

4 years ago
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AlteristChapter 10

Bev was still lying on me when I woke up at 4:30. I eased out from underneath her and went into the bathroom. I emptied the snake, then brushed my teeth. Then it was into the shower. Last night it had felt right to go to sleep with Bev in my arms right after we finished making love. I was looking forward to a shower, though. Making love is like eating chicken. You get it all over your fingers and it's messy. My plan was to take a warm washcloth back to the bedroom with me when I was done...

3 years ago
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AlteristChapter 11

Vicky woke up, of course. I don't know how Rock Hudson got a drunk Doris Day from the living room to the bedroom, getting her out of an evening gown and into a flowing nightgown without seeing anything or waking her up. I don't think Vicky was fully awake at any time and it didn't take long at all for her to fall back asleep when she was back in bed. She seemed to enjoy it when I maneuvered her arms and legs so I could take off her clothes. Vicky wasn't wearing a luxurious nightgown when...

3 years ago
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AlteristChapter 12

It was just after ten when Bev shook me to wake me up. I was instantly alert but she held me down with an arm on my shoulder. "It's OK. Just time to get up." "I thought you'd want to sleep in later than this." "I'm fine. We've got a picnic to go to. I already called Karen and told her we'd be late and she's fine with it." "Bev, we should call the picnic off. I mean, it not that long since you were attacked." "I'm not going to let Jimmy ruin my day or my life or anything...

4 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 1

Monica Belmont was on the screen when I switched on the TV. Maybe I just wasn't watching that much television these days or maybe her popularity had gone downhill when she did her interview of me, the one that turned into an inquisition before I ended it so dramatically. Dramatically for me, her producer, her cameraman and Monica herself. The footage of her store bought tits falling out of her Mexican peasant blouse never made it on the air or the Internet. She just didn't seem as forceful...

4 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 2

I woke up with my face buried in Bev's hair. I had a tit in my right hand and my dick was between her cheeks. I eased back and got out of bed. I got my robe off the hook on the bedroom door. That was our compromise to my throwing it wherever I felt when I took it off and Bev's insistence that it to be on a hanger in the closet. A buck forty nine hook and five minutes with a screwdriver had handled that dispute. The choice between putting clothes in a hamper or on a hanger had been handed...

4 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 3

I can't believe the attitudes you see in high school. Even though the guys responsible for everything were all in jail awaiting sentencing after giving complete, detailed confessions, there were still a lot of students who blamed the girls for what happened to them and for getting the guys in trouble. And it wasn't only the students. Some of the faculty and administration complained at how the girls' decisions to press charges were ruining the school's reputation. That was nothing...

2 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 4

It was a couple of weeks later that I noticed a moving truck at Bev's old house. After I got home, I was all set to tell her about it when she held up an envelope. "My birth father sold the ranch," she told me. "He sent me this." Inside were three sheets of personalized stationary. Both her parents' names were listed at the top. Somehow I didn't see her father writing a lot of personal letters. I wouldn't be surprised if the last time the stationary was used was when Bev's mother...

2 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 5

We got home just after 8:30. The porch light was on, as was the one in the kitchen. The rest of the house appeared dark. We went in through the kitchen door and saw there was nobody in there. I went to the refrigerator and got out a gallon of milk. Bev was setting three glasses down on the kitchen table as I closed the door. "It'll be good to have something other than lemonade," I said. "Don't be too hard on Grace, " Vicky said. "They were moving, after all." "I'm not. I'm just...

3 years ago
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Alterist 2 Return to the SourceChapter 6

Mom had maneuvered Vicky and the three Bells out of the house so it was just me and Bev with Mom and Dad. They were on a tour of the place led by Manuel. Mom promised to show Grace the garden when they got back. When we were all back at the kitchen table with fresh cups of coffee and milk for Bev, Dad said, "I've known for a couple of months that there was something wrong with me. Over the past few weeks, I've suspected it was cancer. I thought I was doing a good job at hiding it from...

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