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Just Jessica I There are a few things that played a prominent role in shaping my life as I was growing up. This first event occurred even before I was born. My mom and dad dated throughout high school and it was a sure bet that they would get married. That lasted right up to graduation night. That's the night that mom got pregnant. It was actually six weeks before she knew for sure and she kept the secret to herself. When she finally told dad about it, to say the least he was not thrilled, to say the most, he was gone. That night was the last time mom ever saw him. His parents said that he moved to California to go to college. Within a year, they had moved also and that was the end of that. I was a small baby and have maintained that lack of size throughout my life. I was raised by my mother and grandmother and to them it never mattered. "Size is not what makes a man." They would tell me. Even so, it was not easy always being the smallest no matter what I did. Complicating the matter was the fact that mother and grandmother both pushed me in school. Grandmother had been a teacher in a local grade school and mother had gone back to college getting her degree in library sciences. With their help, and with something of a natural ability to learn, I excelled in school. I skipped several grades, started high school when I was 12 and graduated third in my class at age 15. To say that I had no social life was a tremendous understatement. My college years brought me much of the same. I graduated at age 18 with a double major in computer sciences and business management. In the next six months I completed my MBA. By my 19th birthday, I was highly educated and a social outcast. This all changed when I started working. While mother had always had a wide range of friends and I had always been included in social events, it had been at a different level than other kids my age. Now, I found that it was very easy for me to fit into a professional environment interacting with people mostly several years older than me. I started working for a computer services company that provided network support to many small businesses that couldn't afford a full time staff. I met my first girlfriend and first true love while working there. I learned about love and sex and about losing. Although I dated several girls, it always came down to some bigger more masculine guy taking off with the girl. At 5' 6" and 128 pounds I was not much of a physical specimen. To top it off, although I was 19 years old, I looked more like I was 15. I attracted girls with my brains and sense of humor, but in the end, that was never enough to keep them. Near the end of my first year of work, I had the chance to change jobs and go to work for a company as a full time IT specialist. The pay was much better and so were the benefits. The company was a small modeling agency and the excitement of the business with the never-ending presence of beautiful women was too much to pass up. They had been using an outside service similar to where I had worked but now were in a position to take control them selves. The systems were not complicated; a small network used for general business management, mostly word processing and spreadsheets, and a few terminals with specialized software for doing graphic design and photo presentations. They had just launched their own website and needed someone to provide support and do updates on almost a daily basis. The owner of the company was Jeanette D'Armond a surprisingly young woman to be in this position, but at the same time quite capable and completely in charge. She had come from a wealthy family and married into more money. She was widowed at an early age and had not remarried. Instead she had started this business and was growing it from the ground up. She had a degree in fashion design and a mind for business and at the age of 35 was very successful. The job went well, and it was a treat to come to work each day. I was doing what I enjoyed and had the kind of freedom that you can enjoy with a small company to be in charge of all aspects of the IT system. Most of the time, it was like I didn't have a boss at all. I did what was necessary to keep the network running and the hardware and software current and spent hours each day preparing changes and upgrading the web site. Ms D'Armond made all of the important decisions and it was plain to see that she felt that the use of the web site was a critical element in the success of the business. An important factor in the modeling business is getting your models in front of designers, magazine editors and show coordinators. While most agencies were still working the personal appointment route, Jeanette was taking the virtual approach by making the presentation available on-line. Her models were in front of more clients in a week than most models were in a month. It was a sure recipe for success. As the web site became a more powerful tool for the business, I began to see Ms D'Armond on a more regular basis. She became fascinated with what could be accomplished using this new marketing outlet. At the same time, I had no reason to object to her presence in my office. Not only was she the boss, but she was also a quite beautiful and sensual woman. Her sense of fashion and style made her a very desirable object for my admiration. I had been working for Ms D'Armond for about six months when my life was torn apart. My mother took ill and died. It happened very quickly and I was totally unprepared for it. Since grandmother had died, she was the only family that I had and we had been very close, as much best friends as mother and son. I felt so alone, as if I had been abandoned in a world full of strangers. For whatever reason, Ms D'Armond stepped in to fill the void. She was there when I needed advice, when I needed to talk and when I needed to cry. She helped to fill a vast emptiness in me. As time passed, we began to spend more and more time together. Jeanette would invite me over for dinner, out to movies, plays and concerts, and even out on a picnic. It was like she had stepped in right where my mother had had to leave off. It did not take long before we were developing close bonds and feeling like more then just friends. I shared with her my successes and failures, my good moods and my bad. She provided me with comfort and stability when I needed it. It was on a Saturday evening in April when our relationship started to change. I had been sharing with Jeanette my frustrations with my latest girl friend. We were in, I was sure, the last days of our friendship, it seemed doomed to failure as had all my previous flirtations with girls. I was explaining to her that it always came down to the bigger, stronger, more masculine guys getting the girls while I was left to start over. As we sat there discussing my problem, she held me and comforted me. I was starting to relax as she held me in her arms when she asked the question that would change my life. "Maybe you need to get in touch with your feminine side in order to give you a clear picture of your problem, have you ever thought about it that way?" I sat there in silence not knowing how to respond. Finally, I had to ask, "What do you mean feminine side? I might not be the physical specimen that other guys are, but I am not ready to be a girl either." She hugged me more closely and explained, "I didn't mean that you were any less a man. All men have a feminine side just as all women have a masculine side. The better awareness that a person has for this mostly hidden side, the better off they are in leading a healthy life. Getting in touch with your feminine side doesn't mean dressing like a girl, but in your case I am quite sure that you would make a lovely young girl, it means learning to understand the softer, more subtle aspects of life and appreciate them as part of your being. Now with that said, I think that a crash course is in order for you. I would like you to spend the night tonight and we can begin right away." There was finality in her voice that said, "You will spend the night." It was much more of an order than an invitation. Somewhat sheepishly, I agreed. I didn't know where this was leading, but for now, I would play along. As the evening progressed, we talked about many things. A lot of the topics were things that I never had discussed openly with anyone, even my mother. Some how, Jeanette was just able to draw them out of me. It was a little after 10:00 PM when she suggested that we get changed for bed. It only took a second for me to realize that I had nothing to change into. When I told this to Jeanette, she laughed, "I didn't expect you to, since you are probably not in the habit of packing a suitcase when you come to visit for the evening. But I have a solution that I think will work. Why don't you take a nice hot shower to help relax you, and I will take care of the clothing." With out asking another question, I followed her to the bathroom and prepared to shower. She handed me soap, shampoo and a big fluffy towel, saying, "Take your time and enjoy it, I will lay out something for you to wear." The shower did in fact help me to relax. I turned the water hotter and hotter until I could stand no more. I let the stream pound on my body and drain the tension out of me. Both the soap and shampoo smelled of lilacs. It was a soft sweet smell but not overpowering. Even the fragrance seemed to help relax me. When I was able to pull myself away from the massaging water, I climbed from the shower and dried off with the big soft towel. As the steam in the room faded away, I saw that while I was in the shower, Jeanette had taken away the clothes that I had been wearing and left behind what she apparently expected me to wear. I looked at the small pile on the dressing stand and stopped. "Jeanette, I can't wear these. These are girls' pajamas." Not only were they girls' pajamas, they were girls' baby doll pajamas, in pink! As I stood there, she answered me through the door. "Don't be so silly. After everything we talked about tonight, it might be good for you to experience what a girl feels slipping into the soft cool material. Now go ahead and put them on, and we will sit and talk some more. I have fixed us some hot chocolate and we can enjoy it while we talk." Not knowing what else to do, I gave in. The panties were not only pink, but had a small ruffle around each leg and three rows of ruffles across the butt. The top was cut with a rounded neckline and had short puffed sleeves that each ended in a ruffle. The hemline was just long enough to cover the panties. The material was soft and cool against my skin, just as Jeanette said it would be. The pajamas did not feel wrong or awkward, but quite comfortable. When I walked from the bathroom Jeanette was waiting. She grinned from ear to ear, "Oh, you look absolutely adorable. Here, come into my bedroom and look in the mirror." I followed her into her room with out thinking about it. She stood me in front of a dressing table where I could look into the mirror and asked me what I thought. When I looked, I told her the first thing that came into my mind, "I look like a fifteen year old boy wearing his sister's pajamas!" "Oh, it's not that bad. Turn around and sit down and I will fix you up a bit, just trust me. As I sat there, she began by brushing my hair, "This will never work. You don't mind if I trim it a bit do you?" And with out waiting for an answer, she pulled out scissors and started snipping. When she was done, I felt her clip something into my hair just behind the temple on either side. "Now, I want you to relax, and I am going to finish you up." With that she started reaching for some of her make up tools and cases. When she saw me flinch she started in again, "Don't worry, it comes off with soap and water. Besides, I think that you will be pleasantly surprised with the results." She used some pink blush, eye shadow in pink and soft coral and a light touch of mascara. She outlined my lips and then filled them in with light pink. When she was done, she stepped back and examined her work. "OK, close your eyes and turn to face the mirror. Now open your eyes and tell me what you think." When I opened my eyes, I couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror. I had looked like a fifteen year old boy before, but now, I looked like a thirteen year old girl. My hair had been cut into a short pixie cut, parted in the middle with soft bangs. There were two small pink ribbons that were clipped on either side of my head. My face showed no trace of the boy that had been there before. Now there was only the soft, delicate face of a young girl, a very pretty young girl. After a moment, Jeanette broke the silence, "Come on now, there will be plenty of time to admire yourself later. Let's go have that talk and drink the hot chocolate I made." She took me by the hand and led me back to the living room. She served the hot chocolate and we talked and talked. Not once did the topic of how I was dressed, or why come up. I was too shocked to ask, but at the same time felt relaxed and at ease. Jeanette seemed to avoid the topic not so much by obvious omission, but more because there were other topics that were more important. It was after 3:00 AM when we both ran out of words. Jeanette led me back to her bedroom, and we crawled into her bed together. She curled her body around me and pulled me close. We slept in an embrace more of love for each other rather than lovers. II In the morning, I slept late. It was after 10:00 when I finally awoke. When I rolled over, it took some time to remember where I was, and the events that led to me being here. I was sitting on the edge of the bed getting my head straight when Jeanette came back into the room. I was embarrassed to have her see me, but she quickly relieved the tension. She walked over to where I sat and kissed me on the cheek, "Good morning ?Princess', I am glad to see that you decided to wake up today. I thought that you might have decided to sleep right through it." She grabbed my hands and pulled me up. "Let's see if we can't get you looking a little more presentable. I knew that I should have you take your make up off before going to bed, but you did look so sweet, and I did not want to spoil the effect. Now, why don't you go ahead and wash your face and brush you hair while I finish getting breakfast ready. Here is a robe that you can use when you come down." She handed me a soft pink robe made from chenille along with a pair of pink slippers. I took them and headed into the bathroom while she headed back down to the kitchen. I completed my morning tasks which today included scrubbing the make up from my face. When I brushed my hair, it seemed to just fall back into place in the pixie style. I decided to not fight it and brushed it as it was determined to lie. I even clipped the two ribbons back into place. I wrapped myself in the soft robe, put the slippers on my feet, and headed down to breakfast Jeanette served a breakfast fit for a king, or as she said, "Fit for a Princess." There was fresh orange juice, a waffle covered with strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and piles of whipped cream, crispy bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. There was a pot of raspberry herbal tea and cold milk. I stuffed my self, loving every bite of the wonderful food. As we sat there, I began to contemplate how my life had changed, for in the past 24 hours my life had surely changed, I just could not know how much. My thoughts were interrupted when Jeanette walked up behind me. She put her arms around me and hugged, "Jessica, do you mind if I call you that? If I had been lucky enough to have a daughter, I would have named her Jessica. I hope that you don't mind?" My mind stopped. I was frozen in space and time. She was giving me the name of the daughter that she had never had. What was happening? How far was this going to go? I had no answers, but I also had no willingness to make it end. I forced out the only words I could, "No, I don't mind at all. I think that it is a beautiful name and I will be pleased to allow you to call me by it." We left the dishes from breakfast sit. Jeanette was so excited that she wanted to help me get dressed for the day. I showered again as she selected an outfit for me to wear. When I came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me she was there and ready. "I really don't have a lot of things that are appropriate for a girl your age, but these will make do for today." She gave me a white bra and panty set, a pair of light beige pantyhose and a white half-slip and camisole. She helped me to fasten the bra and showed me how to roll to pantyhose up my legs. When I had put on the slip and camisole, she handed me a blue jean skirt and a light blue sweater. She finished with a pair of brown shoes with a two-inch wedge heel. Jeanette sat me at her dressing table and started to do my makeup. "I want you to pay careful attention to what I am doing. You need to learn this for yourself." She started with a light foundation and some powder to fix the coloring. Light blue eye shadow and dark blue mascara were added. Just a touch of blush was added to my cheeks and my lips were done in burgundy gloss. She painted my nails in the same shade of burgundy as my lips. While the polish dried, she placed a gold chain around my neck with a matching bracelet on my wrist. Gold clip on looped earrings were put in place and two small rings added to my fingers. As a final touch, she sprayed me with perfume. It had a soft warm fragrance that filled the room. "There we are," she pronounced, "now why don't you go practice waking and sitting in the skirt and shoes while I get dressed. When I am ready we will see what kind of mischief we can get into today." I walked down to the living room and sat on the sofa. I had to get used to keeping my legs together. The shoes were not difficult to get used to, the heels did tend to pitch me forward a bit but in a few minutes I was walking without difficulty. If my body was doing OK, my mind was swimming. I had no idea where this was going, but I had no reason to resist. In the past few weeks and especially the last two days Jeanette and I had formed a bond. I had feelings for her that I had felt for my mother. She made me feel loved and that I was a whole person. When Jeanette came into the room, she was dressed casually also. She wore a black corduroy skirt and a black and white striped blouse. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail high on her head. Even in this simple outfit she looked great. You could not hide the kind of beauty she possessed. We cleaned up the breakfast dishes and sat for a while to talk. After a brief period of talking about all matter of things, Jeanette steered the conversation around to me. Specifically, she wanted to talk about her, and me and how I was dressed and how I felt about it. "Jessica, you know how successful I have been in my life. My career and my business are going well, and there is nothing that I have to do without. However, at the same time I have missed many things in my life. I lost my husband early and have found no one to replace him. And I have missed I fear the opportunity to have children. These past few days, you have given me back a little piece of what I have missed. I hope that you won't mind if occasionally I ask you to fill this role for me." I sat there and thought for several minutes before I answered. "Jeanette, over these last few days and the last few weeks you have given me something that I thought that I had lost forever, the love of a mother. Although you cannot replace her, you have given me the same love and caring that she did. If it is as simple as it seems for both of us to feel so much better, I would be happy to become Jessica anytime you would like." With that behind us, Jeanette decided that we were wasting a perfectly good day sitting around the house. "I feel the need to shop!" She pronounced. Before I had a chance to object we were headed to the mall. "If you are going to be my daughter, we need to get you a respectable wardrobe. I don't have enough things of mine that are appropriate for a 15 year old girl. We will just get you some basics today and then we can fill in as we go." I was totally freaked out! "Jeanette, how can I go shopping dressed as a girl? I mean, I think I look pretty good, but there is still a boy inside of here. There is no way that I am going to make it through this." Jeanette looked at me and smiled, "If you can look in the mirror, and only see a girl, then that is what everyone else is going to see. All you need to do is relax and feel on the inside that you are that pretty little girl in the mirror. When you do, you will have the confidence to go anywhere and do anything, and no one will see anything different." Before I had a chance to give it a second thought, Jeanette was pulling me by the arm out of the house and into her car. We drove several miles to an upscale mall, which I had heard of but never ventured into. I had relaxed during the drive but when it came time to get out of the car and go into the mall, my nerves took over again. Jeanette provided some much needed encouragement and before long we were working our way past many of the stores on our way to a destination that she apparently had already selected. Along the way I noticed the people moving carelessly through the mall, into and out of the stores. But what I noticed the most was that no one paid any special attention to me. The store that we finally headed into was called Evelyn Marie's. It was a high-end shop that catered to girls and young women. As we walked through the store, Jeanette made comments about several of the outfits on display while asking me which styles appealed to me, which did not, and why. Several times, she said that I had wonderful taste in clothes and that she would have selected many of the same outfits that I had chosen. I was a little confused, since I didn't remember making and choices, only commenting on what I liked and what I did not. When we had covered most of the store, a lady that I took for a sales clerk met us. She led us to a small seating area and offered us tea. "Good afternoon ladies. I am Evelyn and welcome to my store. Normally, one of the regular sales ladies would be helping you, but based upon the number of selections that you made, and the fact that I recognized you Ms D'Armond, I have decided to extend my personal services to you. Now, if you are ready, we will bring out the various outfits that you have chosen for your, ?niece', I assume. Jeanette was quick to the point. "Ms Arnout, I believe? I am very flattered that you would recognize me. I am of course quite familiar with you, due to the notoriety of your shop and its reputation for carrying the finest in fashions. As for my young charge, may I introduce you to Ms Jessica Snow? She is my niece, entrusted to my care that I may instill into her a sense of confidence and propriety as she matures into a young woman. Now, as to our goal here today. We have selected a number of outfits based upon her tastes as well as my own. We would most certainly like to review the selections, and then make our final choices. We do so appreciate your personal attention, and I will be certain to let this service be known amongst the many young girls that my agency represents, so that they too may take advantage of a wonderful shopping experience at your store." The effort was not lost on Ms Arnout. If anything, she became even more attentive. Assistants all eager to help show the various selections to us suddenly surrounded her. While they readied themselves to display the various outfits, I asked Jeanette how they knew which things that we were really interested in. She smiled as she replied, "I suppose that you are not quite as attuned to shopping as I am, if you were, you would have noticed that although no sales lady approached us as we looked, there was always one hovering near by, watching and listening to what we had to say. I know that it sounds a little like spying, but it allows us to be unencumbered by their presence, and still enjoy the benefits of the service. It's all a part of high fashion women's marketing. Now, just sit back and enjoy." I did exactly as Jeanette recommended. We were served tea and finger foods while the various sales ladies brought out the items of clothing. It was amazing how completely they had covered every item that either Jeanette or I had had any positive reaction to. While they showed the clothing, they would offer suggestions on accessories or shoes to match or compliment each outfit. By the time we were through, my head was spinning with the seemingly endless possibilities. Jeanette and I talked about everything we saw, and in the end, she gave a list to Ms Arnout. "I believe that these are the items that we will take today. While we were looking for just a few things, I believe that with your help, we have filled out some of the room in Jessica's wardrobe." Jeanette arranged to have the clothes delivered to her house later that day. She had no desire to carry the packages, especially since we had much more shopping to do. We left Evelyn Marie's and headed back into the mall. Our next three stops were a shoe store, a lingerie shop and a jewelry store. At each store, she arranged to have more packages delivered to her house as our acquisitions grew. At the shoe store, I wobbled across the floor in three and four inch heels and tried on numerous pairs of other shoes and boots. In the lingerie shop, I was subjected to the embarrassment of being measured and fitted for bras, and for a corset. I am sure that the lady that did the fittings knew that I was not a girl, but she never for minute looked surprised. She went about her work and commented on how good foundation garments would certainly help with my figure until I started to develop womanly curves. At the jewelry store, I had my ears each double pierced while Jeanette looked at and chose several other items. It was late afternoon when we finally headed for her house. On the way back to her house, Jeanette stopped and picked up Chinese carry out food for dinner. While we got the food on the table and the table set, she asked me what I thought of our little outing. Before I could answer though, she proceeded to tell me that it was the most enjoyable day that she had experienced in years, and how happy she was. With that much said, who was I to disappoint her? I chose my words carefully, several times using ?amazed, confused, overwhelmed and embarrassed' as I spoke. "I had a wonderful time today. I was amazed that for the most part no one suspected that I wasn't a girl, except for the lady in the lingerie shop. I am confused, that it is apparently so easy for me to be seen as a girl. I am overwhelmed by the whole experience and the emotional rush that it gave me. And, I am embarrassed that you spent so much money on me. I don't know what the total was, but I saw the prices on many of the things that you bought, and it had to add up to a huge amount. If I am only supposed to be Jessica occasionally, you bought far too many clothes, and I feel that somehow, I need to pay you back." Jeanette smiled at me and gave me a big hug, "You are such a dear, precious thing, and you can pay me back by just being the darling little girl that you are. I must admit, that there may be a few times when I am more demanding of you, but you have already filled such a big hole in my life that I know that I can never let you go." Later in the evening, all of the packages arrived via a delivery service. When the deliveryman had gone, I helped Jeanette carry the boxes upstairs to a bedroom next to hers. "This was one of my guest bedrooms, but now it shall be yours. Maybe next weekend, we can redecorate it, if you would like to?" Finally, it was all too much. My mind was being pulled in a direction that left me dazed and confused. I sat down on the end of the bed and cried. Jeanette reacted quickly, sitting next to me and pulling me into her arms. "I am sorry. I guess that I have pushed things a little far. We will slow down and take thing a little slower. I just got carried away by my emotions." She held me for a while longer until I decided it was time for me to leave. She offered to let me stay the night, but I declined. I used the bathroom to wash up and change into my regular clothes. When I found Jeanette, she was down stairs sitting in her rocking chair apparently deep in thought. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for everything, telling her that I would see her at the office in the morning. She smiled, but never said a word. I turned and left for home closing the door quietly behind me. I arrived sometime later at my apartment, having driven for a couple of hours playing back in my mind the events of the past few days. While there seemed to be something inherently wrong with what had transpired, I could not find what it was. For the entire two days, both Jeanette and I had been so happy. She had filled my life with warmth that I had not felt since my mother died. I was so confused! Finally, exhaustion began to take over and I headed for home. My sleep came easy, but was filled with images of the past two days I woke up in the morning still looking for answers. III Monday mornings were usually pretty hectic at the office. There were always a lot of models in for visits, and it was the day that I updated pictures and video clips on the web site. Although most of the files had been prepared the previous week and were ready to upload, there were always last minute changes. This Monday was no different and the time passed quickly. I did not see Jeanette until after lunch when she came by to preview the web site changes. This was her opportunity to give final approval before I did the upload. I don't know what I was expecting, but Jeanette was her normal, natural self when she stopped by. I thought that there would be some outward obvious display of emotion or change in our relationship, but there was none. She was excited to see the new video clips that I was adding, and had brought some information for the newsletter page on the web site. Other than that, it seemed anti-climactic and almost disappointing. The rest of the week went pretty much the same as Monday had gone. As a matter of fact, if anything, I had less contact with Jeanette during the course of the week than I normally would. It wasn't until Friday afternoon that we really sat down and talked. She had asked me to stop by her office to talk about some software upgrades that I had proposed. The changes were pretty expensive, but would give us the ability to integrate higher quality video components into the web site and make it more interactive to the on line users. We talked about the change and she decided to go ahead and spend the money. I was ready to leave her office when she changed the direction of the conversation. "Are you all right with what happened last weekend? I have been worrying ever since you left on Sunday night. If I did something wrong, I am sorry, I just got carried away with my emotions." And with that the tears started. This time it was my turn to comfort her. I moved to where she sat and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I hugged her around the neck and told her everything was OK. "I was confused. I had feelings brought to the surface that had been gone since mother died, and although I had a wonderful time all weekend, it was a lot to absorb. I have thought about it all week, and if you should decide that you wanted me to become Jessica again, I would gladly do it for you any time." We spent the next hour sharing our feelings and tears. We took turns crying, and drying each other's tears. When all was said and done, we had grown closer yet again. When we finally composed ourselves, and wiped away our tears, I had the feeling that our relationship had yet again subtly changed. As I was getting ready to leave Jeanette stopped me, "I will be attending a Fashion Show this weekend. It is all Prom Dresses and Formals, and several of our girls will be working there. If she feels up to it, I would like Jessica to attend with me. If she decides to go, she needs to be at my house very early on Sunday to get ready, or she could even come over on Saturday and stay the night." I paused for a minute deciding what to do. In the end, I turned back to see Jeanette standing there. You could see the hope in her eyes. I went back and hugged her again. "I am sure, that Jessica would love to attend. There are a few things that need to get done around the apartment, but she will be there Saturday evening. Wait for her to get there, and she will make you dinner. I think that it's her turn." I spent most of Friday night and Saturday thinking about the decision that I had made. I was a well-educated, 20 year old man, struggling to find my place in the world. In steps a beautiful 35 year old woman, who despite all of her successes is as lonely as I am. Now, she wants me to play the part of her 15 year old niece, and I have agreed to do it! I know that this is wrong, but at the same time, I remember the feelings that we shared last weekend, and how happy we both were. Amidst all of this confusion, I made my way to Jeanette's house on Saturday in the late afternoon hours. When I arrived at her house, Jeanette was overjoyed to see me. She hugged me and held me close to her. She took me up stairs to my bedroom, and a half an hour later, I emerged as Jessica. I wore a brown corduroy skirt with a beige sweater. I had on brown tights and penny loafer shoes. I wore simple makeup and jewelry, and my hair was brushed into the pixie style from last weekend. I made dinner for Jeanette as promised. I had learned to cook from my grandmother and mother and was quite capable. I prepared Chicken Cacciatore with Garlic Bread and a salad. We ate dinner and watched a movie. I ended up lying on the sofa with my head in her lap. At the end of the evening, Jeanette helped me change into a soft blue nightgown and tucked me into bed telling me that we had a big day tomorrow. I fell asleep feeling loved, but full of wonder as to where this all would lead. In the morning, we were up early. Jeanette directed me to the bath telling me to make sure to wash my hair but not to dry it. When I came out wrapped in the soft pink robe that she had left for me, she sat me down and went to work on my hair. She used bunches of very small curlers and wound them tightly. When she was done she sprayed my head with a setting lotion and put a plastic bonnet over it while it dried. When it was taken down an hour later, my hair was a mass of tight spiraling curls. Jeanette carefully arranged the curls on my head, pulling them down to the sides and back and securing them with hairpins. Next, it was time to get dressed. Jeanette selected a black bra and panty set with a matching slip. The bra was an under wire design with pads that lifted and pulled the bit of loose skin on my chest into somewhat of a cleavage. Jeanette added some additional pads to give me a bit more help. Next were nude panty hose, and a panty girdle to ?keep things in place'. The dress that she selected was one that we had bought last week. It was dark blue with the tight fitting bodice made of velvet and the skirt made of satin. The neckline was cut in a way that it showed off my modest cleavage. The sleeves were puffed out at the shoulders and ended above my elbows. The skirt was very full and very short, supported by layers of netting that were attached under it and acted as built in petticoats. When it was pulled into place in ended at mid thigh. Jeanette gave me a pair of black pumps with 3 inch heels. When I had slipped them on, she sat me down to do my make up and add jewelry. The make up was more dramatic than she had done before and made me look just a bit older. The jewelry was gold and consisted of a necklace, bracelet, two rings and earrings that were highlighted with three small diamonds. She sprayed me with a healthy dose of perfume and told me to go practice walking and sitting with the heels and short skirt while she got dressed. When she came down stair, Jeanette was absolutely breathtaking. I had seen her dressed well in the past but today was something special. The dress she wore was cut to fit every curve of her body and her hair, make up and jewelry complimented rather than created her beauty. I stood there in silence, just looking. I must have made quite a spectacle of myself. She smiled slyly and looked at me, "Your silent admiration is greatly appreciated. It's not often that I get this dressed up any more, but based upon your reaction, I must have done OK." The fashion show was an amazing event to attend. We were back stage prior to the show visiting with the agency models that were there. The entire area seemed to be in a total state of disarray, but slowly and surely you could see it pull together. After visiting with each of the girls we headed out front to our seats to watch the show. There were probably 3000 people in attendance, and when we walked in to the lobby before going to our seats, my nerves went on over load. Jeanette leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Just relax, and remember the girl in the mirror. She is the only one that people will see." I finally relaxed a bit, and was able to enjoy the show. I couldn't believe how many dresses were displayed and how beautiful they all were. There were ten different designers involved with the show and each one had brought between 25 and 40 dresses. There were more than 60 models taking part and numerous hair stylists and make up artists. The stage show ran extremely smoothly in contrast to the confusion and near panic atmosphere back stage. After the show, we attended a lavish dinner party sponsored by two of the designers that worked together and a large retail chain that carried their line of dresses. There were over 100 people there including the 12 models from Jeanette's agency that had taken part in the show. We were treated like royalty, and the longer I was there, the more confidence I gained in my self as Jessica. By the end of the evening, I was sorry to see the party end. That night, I again slept in one of the new nightgowns that Jeanette had bought for me. It was a white cotton gown with rows of ruffles at the hem and sleeves. I curled up in my bed hugging onto a large Teddy Bear that she had bought me for a surprise. I slept as contentedly as I had in years. Over the next few weeks, I spent more and more time as Jessica. Jeanette began to be more insistent on having her ?little girl' around. At first, it was somewhat of an annoyance but it gradually became more and more fun as she rewarded me with more clothes and fancy dinners. She bought me everything that a teenaged girl could possibly want. She even began sending me home early from work so that Jessica could be there waiting when she arrived. It was mid June when she decided to take things further than before. First of all, she hired an assistant for me at the office. Her logic was that since I was for the most part working half days, I didn't have enough time to get everything accomplished. Having an assistant to do most of the basic work would limit the number of hours that I would have to spend in the office. By the end of the first week of working with the assistant, things were going very well. My assistant, Joanne, had graduated with an associate degree in computer science and had about six months of experience. She was very smart and caught on to things quickly. I could see where I was going to put a lot less hours in at the office and be confidant that things would still run smoothly. Since I was now spending so much time at Jeanette's house being Jessica, she decided that it made sense for me to move in with her. I already had a room there, and I had little reason to go back to my apartment, and I would save all of the money that was now going to rent and utilities. It didn't take me long to give in, and on a Saturday morning, she had a moving truck show up to pick up my things. There wasn't really too much to move. I had mostly second hand furniture and had not yet acquired a bunch of junk. By the time it was all sorted out, we delivered more stuff to the second hand store than I took with me. When I arrived at Jeanette's with the movers, she instructed them to put everything into a storage room above the garage. "This will be a good spot to sort things out and take what you need to your bedroom. Most of what you need is already there," she said. As I sat there sorting through the pile of boxes, I came to the conclusion that she was right. I took down a few boxes of clothes that were the better things that I wore to work. Outside of that, I would wear Jessica's clothes so I didn't need much more. I took my pictures of my mother and grandmother and hung them on the wall. I looked at most of the other stuff and decided that it either didn't look right in a girl's room, or it was something that I just didn't need. In the end, most of the boxes stayed stacked in the storage room. Over the next several weeks, I began spending even more time as Jessica. Jeanette became even more demanding of my time and I was soon spending very little time at the office. Finally, it was the tenth of July when she popped the next surprise on me. "I think that Jessica should come into the office today." She said quite casually. "You have been spending far too much time closed up in the house. It will do you good to get out. Besides, my secretary is on vacation this week and I could use a little help around the office." Before I had any chance to object, it was off to my room to get me dressed. She decided on business attire with schoolgirl flair to it. The skirt was red with pleats and ended just above my knees. The blouse buttoned up the back and had a lace collar. She chose red and white shoes with two inch heels. Simple gold jewelry and make up were added and I was ready for a day at the office. By the time we got to the office, I was nervous beyond belief. All of the people here knew me, and although I did not have regular contact with most of them, I felt that they would all recognize me. As we walked in the door, there were two of the designers standing in the lobby. Jeanette introduced me as Jessica, her niece that would be staying with her for a while, and neither of them seemed to suspect a thing. They both shook my hand politely and introduced themselves. By the time that they had left and we walked into Jeanette's office my nerves were so bad that I was shaking. The remainder of the day went pretty much the same way. By noon, I had come in contact with almost everyone in the offices and no one recognized me. It was mid afternoon when Jeanette suggested that we go check out some new photos that had been submitted for the web site. When we got to what had been my office, there was Joanne sitting at my desk busy at the computer. I grimaced a little when I saw this, but Jeanette squeezed my hand and I relaxed. After the normal introductions, Joanne began showing us the new photos and how she had planned to present them. Every thing went well until I made a suggestion about how to do a photo merge on the web page. No sooner had the words left my mouth and I knew that I had made a mistake. Joanne stopped in mid sentence and gave me a funny look. She had recognized the suggestion as something that she and I had talked about only a week ago. The problem was that the technique that I had suggested was a new application that was only available on the latest release of software and not more than a handful of people knew about it. As Joanne sat there looking at me I fell silent, and then I felt my cheeks burn as I began to blush. It took her another minute, but she put it together. "Oh my God!!! Andrew, is that really you? I can't believe it. You are absolutely gorgeous! If you hadn't mentioned the new picture merge technology, I would have never had a clue. I really can't believe this. You make a beautiful girl." Jeanette finally stepped in and settled her down. She made Joanne promise to keep my secret safe. In part, Joanne agreed when she was offered a promotion, to Systems Manager, the position that had been mine! "Andrew will not be coming to the office any longer, so the position may as well be yours. If you need help, Jessica will be around frequently and she can assist you. I think that you will find her as capable as Andrew was." I was too shocked to speak. What was going on? We walked quickly back to Jeanette's office, her in the lead, me following behind with my mouth hanging open. When we were safely behind closed doors, I asked her what had just happened. Jeanette looked at me with a smile that was both lovely but at the same time sending a firm message that she had made a decision and now she would be telling me how I was to be affected. "I have decided that if you are going to be my little girl, you don't need to have a job to occupy your time. There are much more pleasant and interesting things for a teen aged girl to be doing. Joanne can keep up with the work that needs to be done here, and if she should get stuck, you can always come in and do a little consulting work. Now, don't look so upset until you hear my offer." I was profoundly confused. Here I was sitting in Jeanette's office listening as she laid out her plan for me to become her ?niece', full time. She talked and I listened. I had a hundred questions but could not bring myself to ask any of them. I simply sat there and tried to absorb it all. "Now first of all, you are already living in my house, in a bedroom decorated just for you, wearing clothes that we bought on shopping trips together, and apparently loving every minute of it. All that I am suggesting is that we make it a little more permanent. Although you would no longer be my employee and making your normal salary, I would be paying all of your expenses, giving you a very generous allowance, and generally spoiling you silly. Now, I want you to think about it. Take your time but remember the decision is yours, and it is final! I will not sit around and discuss it." I sat there quietly thinking about what she had said. I could either become ?Jessica' full time and live as Jeanette's teenaged niece, or, I could go back to my old life. Weighing the benefits of each of my options, it was pretty easy to come to a decision. As Andrew, my life was very basic and seemed to be going nowhere. I had a few friends but no one particularly close and as far as girl friends go, I was fighting a loosing battle. As Jessica, I had a home with Jeanette, and a life full of excitement. While my love life had not benefited from the change, I had become used to that. With my decision made I went to find Jeanette and let her know. She had walked down to one of the art layout rooms and was sitting there reviewing photographs of the models at a recent show. I walked up next to her and waited until she looked up. "So, am I supposed to call you ?Aunt Jeanette', or is there another endearment that you prefer?" She almost jumped out of the chair to hug me. "Oh my, I am going to spoil you rotten. I have so many plans for us. This is going to be fun. There are a thousand things that I have planned for us. I think that you are right. Aunt Jeanette sounds a little bit too formal, but I don't know what you should call me. I think that it should be your decision. You can pick it out just as you would have if we had been together for years." She then proceeded to hug me so tightly that I thought that she would leave bruises. IV The first week of August, Jeanie, as I now called her, surprised me again. I had now been living full time as Jessica for almost three weeks, and so far, loving every minute of it. On this particular day, she came home with airline tickets to Paris. There was a fashion show there that she had received an invitation to and planned on attending. Naturally, I would be attending with her. For the next two days, all we did was pack and prepare for the trip. While I didn't think about it at the time, traveling overseas requires a little extra preparation. Mainly, it requires a passport. I was totally shocked when on the morning of the trip; Jeanie presented me with my own passport. As I opened the cover I recognized the picture as one that she had taken of me several weeks ago. It took more time to read and absorb the rest of the information there. According to what it said, I was now Jessica Angelica Snow, aged 15 born on February 7th in Casper Wyoming. Jeanie handed me several other pieces of ID telling me to put them in my purse so I could have them available as necessary. Among them were a Social Security card, a driver's learner permit, and a school ID from Westside Senior High. All of these items further identified me as Jessica Snow. The trip to Paris and the fashion show went well. Jeanie and I had a wonderful time and now we were set to enjoy the city. She had allowed us ten days to experience all aspects of Paris from the position of tourists. During our third day of vacationing, I began to feel ill. Jeanie had been insisting that I take vitamins on a regular basis, but they did not bolster me enough. By the end of the day Jeanie was taking me to see a doctor that she knew, and I was admitted to his private clinic. Over the next three days, I don't recall much of what happened to me. I was either out cold or heavily sedated such that the conversation that I heard around me didn't make much sense. It was on the afternoon of the third day that I finally regained consciousness and found out what was going on. As it turned out, the past three days were a preplanned part of what Jeanie called her ?big surprise' for me. The reason for the hospital stay had nothing to do with me being sick. That had been caused by one of the vitamins that Jeanie had given me. The three days in the hospital had really been spent undergoing cosmetic surgery. During the three days in the hospital, the doctor who was Jeanie's friend had performed several procedures. First of all, he had done some work around my eyes. There was some skin that was removed that might have caused early wrinkles that would not fit a 15 year old face. An added result of this procedure was that with the skin pulled a bit tighter, it made my eyes look somewhat larger and somehow brighter. The doctor had also worked on my nose, giving it just a bit of a turned up tip. Implants in my cheeks gave me a more prominent cheek line while implants in my lips gave me a permanent pouty look. If the changes to my face weren't enough, the changes to my body finished it off. The doctor had used a liposuction technique to remove the bit of fat around my waist. He had then added some padding to my butt making it rounder and fuller. The biggest, and I do mean biggest change, was that I now a pair of C cup boobs! As I took in all that had been done to me, I looked at Jeanie and cried. Through the tears, I asked her one question, "Why?" Why had she done this to me, and why had she not asked me about it. I had never felt so violated in my entire life. I just lay there and continued to cry. Jeanie held me close to her and talked to me for a long time. She had not planned this for very long, but when the chance came to travel to Paris, it presented her with this opportunity. The doctor who had performed the procedures was renowned for this kind of surgery. He had worked miracles on models that had been in accidents and suffered what would have been disfiguring injuries. She had taken advantage of his talents to touch up and enhance a few areas that would prevent problems for me in the future and make me feel more comfortable in the world of teenaged girls where a high value was placed on having just the right look. Now, not only would I fit in, but also I would be one of the most attractive and desirable girls in the crowd. Over the remainder of the trip, I became more comfortable with the new me. As the bandages were removed and the bruises began to fade, I could see the results on my face. It was still me that looked back from the mirror, but the face was prettier and more feminine. The changes to my body took a little more practice to get used to. Jeanie had to take me shopping for lingerie. Neither my bras nor my panties fit any more. Once outfitted with new underwear that fit properly, I felt better, but sitting, standing and walking all presented new challenges. My body weight and shape had been redistributed to the point that these simple tasks now required practice. By the end of the trip, I had become comfortable with the changes and now fully recognized the new me. For the first time, when I looked in the mirror, I thought of myself in a new way. The word that came to mind was sexy! No longer did I see a cute little girl with a flat chest that seemed to be stuck with a child's body, now I saw a pretty teenaged girl that was beginning to blossom as a woman. It was quite the change, and the more I looked at my self, the better I liked it. It was nearing the end of August when we returned home from Paris. On Friday evening after we were settled back into the house, Jeanie announced that we would have to begin doing some shopping. "You need to develop a new style to go with your new body. I suspect that a lot of the things that you have now might not fit right any longer. "Also," and this is where she dropped the big bomb, "you need to pick out new clothes for school. Classes start in just two weeks and you need to be ready." School? Classes? What was she talking about now? I thought about it and could only come up with one answer, and it brought fear to my heart. Jeanie expected me to attend High School. She had already given me the ID card before the trip, and now she planned on me starting High School. When I confronted her, she confessed. "Of course you will be going to school. Remember, you are a 15-year-old girl now and the law requires that you attend school. Besides, don't you think it will be fun? You will make new friends and have new experiences that you will remember forever. Oh, and by the way, just so you don't think that you will have one up on your teachers, you will be taking classes that you probably didn't take before including choir and home economics. You will find out that you have little interest in math, science and computers, and that you now much prefer poetry, literature, and French. Oh don't look so surprised; while you were getting your body reworked, I had another doctor, a psychologist talk to you. She used a bit of hypnosis to make sure that you remember to act like a 15 year old girl. All I have to do is mention the trigger words, and you will become ?age appropriate' as a sophomore in high school. Now don't worry, you won't lose any of what you know now, you will just remember that you can only use what knowledge you have that is appropriate for your age. At the same time, I don't want you to struggle with all of your classes, so you will be able to recall more knowledge as you learn it again and probably do quite well with your grades in those classes. I expect that you will have to work extra hard on the classes that you have not taken before to maintain your grades there." I didn't know how to react. I was in a state of shock. Me, a fifteen year old girl in High School, how could I do it? There is no way that I would get away with it. I had been extremely lucky up until now, but even with my new body, I was sure that I would break under the constant scrutiny on 2000 kids of similar age. Jeanie walked me up to bed and calmed my feelings as much as possible. She brushed my hair and helped me into a nightgown. "Now I want you to get a good night's sleep. We have a lot to do in the morning. And don't worry your silly little head you will be just fine. All you have to remember is to relax, and, ?Be my little Princess'." As she said the words, I knew that it was, the ?trigger phrase'. There was no way to respond other than how I had been programmed. As she finished the four words, I knew who I was; what I was; and that was all I wanted to be. Jessica Snow was here. For the last many weeks, I had been playing the part with out knowing the finishing act. Now I knew. Saturday was an incredible day. After a light breakfast we were off and shopping. We started with lingerie, and this time we bought what was appropriate for a 15-year-old girl. Not as fancy and frilly for everyday wear. We bought skirts and blouses, dresses, and even some pants and tops. This was the first time since I began becoming Jessica that I was allowed to wear pants. Jeanie explained that girls my age wore pants more then skirts and dresses. This actually made me feel a little disappointed but she mentioned that I would certainly wear more skirts than the other girls at school. The highlight of the morning took me totally by surprise. We were at a large department store when Jeanie led me to look at the jeans. She picked up several pairs in different styles and sizes and we headed to the dressing room. "Jeans are pretty tricky sometimes. You never know for sure what size you might wear in different style. Also, some jeans are cut to fit differently, so you just have to try them on." We had already picked out several pairs of jeans when Jeanie came back with one more pair. She held them up for me to see and I could not believe it. "There is no way that I will ever fit into that pair of jeans." There was barely enough material there to make a pair of pants, but Jeanie insisted so I tried them on. It took some wiggling and tugging, but I was finally able to squeeze myself into them. I was just getting them zipped and snapped when Jeanie walked in. She handed me a white cotton top and told me to try it with the jeans. When I was ready I should come out and check the mirrors. When I made my way out of the dressing room and in front of the mirrors, I was speechless. There is nothing like a pair of tight jeans and a stretchy cotton top to show off curves, and boy, did I have curves. Since the bodywork had been done, I had not been wearing many tight fitting outfits. I was afraid of what I might see. Now, there was no denying it. I had curves that would be the envy of any teenaged girl, and the focus of every teenaged boy. Jeanie decided that I should wear this outfit for our next stop, so I gathered up the other clothes while she paid for everything. She came back with a pair of boots for me to wear that were just the thing with the jeans. They were casual style ankle boots with a side zip. The color was somewhere between tan and pumpkin. The heels were 5 inches of stacked leather and there was a one-inch platform. As we headed out of the department store and down the mall, I couldn't help but to walk with a wiggle. Jeanie smiled at me, "Most girls spend half of their adolescent years trying to learn how to walk like that, when all it takes is the right pair of jeans and boots to bring it on. You will be surprised at how soon that wiggle carries over to your normal walk no matter what you are wearing." At the end of the mall, Jeanie guided me into a Beauty Shop. She had made an appointment to have my hair, nails and makeup done. My hair had grown considerably and now rested lightly on my shoulders. Although the long and straight look was always in style, we selected a more feminine style. My hair was first died to light brown and the highlighted with streaks of blond. The stylist then proceeded to cut it into a layered shag style. When my hair was done, two ladies went to work on my face and nails. The first one added acrylic nails to each finger, trimmed to a long rounded end. Each nail extended almost an inch past the tip of my fingers. She finished them in a bright red that served to bring further attention to them. While she finished my nails, the other lady worked on my face. She started out by plucking my eyebrows to a delicate arch. This was a slow and painful process. Once that was accomplished she went to work finishing my makeup. While these ladies worked on me, I became aware of some one placing their hand on my belly by my navel. The hip hugger jeans and cropped top had left it exposed. Before I could make any sense of it, I felt a sharp poke followed by mild pain. When I was able to raise my head and look, I found that my navel had been pierced and that there was a small gold hoop attached. Jeanie was there as I looked up, "It is the latest thing with teenagers. We wouldn't want you to feel left out, would we?" When I was done at the beauty shop, there was no trace that remained of the boy that had once been. There was only Jessica, and when I looked in the mirror I totally approved of what I saw. V School started the first week of September. When I showed up on the first day, I found that all of the registration had been completed. I was given a quick tour of the building, my class schedule and dropped at my homeroom. It was happening so fast that my head was spinning. I had planned carefully for this first day, taking the better part of an afternoon to decide on an outfit to wear. In the end, I choose a red plaid pleated skirt and a white blouse with knee socks and red and white saddle shoes. While I sat through the homeroom session with the usual announcements droning on, I checked through my class schedule. In the morning, I started with English Literature and Poetry. Then I went to General Math, French and Choir before lunch. After lunch I had Home Economics, History and General Science. It seemed like an awful schedule to me and I went forth to face it with considerable trepidation. The first day went by in a blur but along the way I did manage to make one friend out of the many students that I met. Her name was Lori and she was in four of the classes with me; English, French, Choir and Home Ec. She was an outgoing person with a wicked sense of humor that showed itself often. She recognized that I was new to the school and decided to take me under her wing to help me get adjusted. Under Lori's guidance, I made it through the first week of school and started to get settled in. She introduced me to other people and helped me to learn who the snobs were versus the prep stars versus the less than desirables. She was totally infatuated with boys but admitted to never having had a real date. She was into fashion and style at all levels and constantly commented on how people dressed and whose outfit was hot and whose was not. When she finally shut up long enough for me to get a word in, I told her with her interest in fashion that she had to meet my aunt Jeanie. When she realized what I had said she went into hysterics. She couldn't believe that Jeanie ran a modeling agency and knew so many of the hot designers. In her mind, I am sure that this sealed our friendship. Over the next few weeks I learned something about teenagers that I had forgotten. There were three things the occupied the thoughts of almost everyone. For the boys, it was sports, lunch and sex. For the girls it was social status, dating and clothes. While I admit that schoolwork occasionally entered the picture, it at best ran a poor second and that was only occasionally. I quickly learned how to fend off the advances of amorous boys that seemed overly attracted to me. It seems that with my new body, I was able to draw more than my share of this kind of attention. I also learned how to tolerate the comments from girls that desired this attention but did not receive what they felt was their fair share. And finally, I learned which of the girls were putting out, and which of the boys were scoring. Both of these groups fell from my ?A list'. Although I attended a few parties and other events I did not date, and for obvious reasons didn't feel that I should. This lasted up until the middle of December