Just Jessica
I
There are a few things that played a prominent role in shaping my life
as I was growing up. This first event occurred even before I was born.
My mom and dad dated throughout high school and it was a sure bet that
they would get married. That lasted right up to graduation night.
That's the night that mom got pregnant. It was actually six weeks
before she knew for sure and she kept the secret to herself. When she
finally told dad about it, to say the least he was not thrilled, to say
the most, he was gone. That night was the last time mom ever saw him.
His parents said that he moved to California to go to college. Within a
year, they had moved also and that was the end of that.
I was a small baby and have maintained that lack of size throughout my
life. I was raised by my mother and grandmother and to them it never
mattered. "Size is not what makes a man." They would tell me. Even so,
it was not easy always being the smallest no matter what I did.
Complicating the matter was the fact that mother and grandmother both
pushed me in school. Grandmother had been a teacher in a local grade
school and mother had gone back to college getting her degree in
library sciences. With their help, and with something of a natural
ability to learn, I excelled in school. I skipped several grades,
started high school when I was 12 and graduated third in my class at
age 15. To say that I had no social life was a tremendous
understatement.
My college years brought me much of the same. I graduated at age 18
with a double major in computer sciences and business management. In
the next six months I completed my MBA. By my 19th birthday, I was
highly educated and a social outcast. This all changed when I started
working. While mother had always had a wide range of friends and I had
always been included in social events, it had been at a different level
than other kids my age. Now, I found that it was very easy for me to
fit into a professional environment interacting with people mostly
several years older than me.
I started working for a computer services company that provided network
support to many small businesses that couldn't afford a full time
staff. I met my first girlfriend and first true love while working
there. I learned about love and sex and about losing. Although I dated
several girls, it always came down to some bigger more masculine guy
taking off with the girl. At 5' 6" and 128 pounds I was not much of a
physical specimen. To top it off, although I was 19 years old, I looked
more like I was 15. I attracted girls with my brains and sense of
humor, but in the end, that was never enough to keep them.
Near the end of my first year of work, I had the chance to change jobs
and go to work for a company as a full time IT specialist. The pay was
much better and so were the benefits. The company was a small modeling
agency and the excitement of the business with the never-ending
presence of beautiful women was too much to pass up. They had been
using an outside service similar to where I had worked but now were in
a position to take control them selves. The systems were not
complicated; a small network used for general business management,
mostly word processing and spreadsheets, and a few terminals with
specialized software for doing graphic design and photo presentations.
They had just launched their own website and needed someone to provide
support and do updates on almost a daily basis.
The owner of the company was Jeanette D'Armond a surprisingly young
woman to be in this position, but at the same time quite capable and
completely in charge. She had come from a wealthy family and married
into more money. She was widowed at an early age and had not remarried.
Instead she had started this business and was growing it from the
ground up. She had a degree in fashion design and a mind for business
and at the age of 35 was very successful.
The job went well, and it was a treat to come to work each day. I was
doing what I enjoyed and had the kind of freedom that you can enjoy
with a small company to be in charge of all aspects of the IT system.
Most of the time, it was like I didn't have a boss at all. I did what
was necessary to keep the network running and the hardware and software
current and spent hours each day preparing changes and upgrading the
web site.
Ms D'Armond made all of the important decisions and it was plain to see
that she felt that the use of the web site was a critical element in
the success of the business. An important factor in the modeling
business is getting your models in front of designers, magazine editors
and show coordinators. While most agencies were still working the
personal appointment route, Jeanette was taking the virtual approach by
making the presentation available on-line. Her models were in front of
more clients in a week than most models were in a month. It was a sure
recipe for success.
As the web site became a more powerful tool for the business, I began
to see Ms D'Armond on a more regular basis. She became fascinated with
what could be accomplished using this new marketing outlet. At the same
time, I had no reason to object to her presence in my office. Not only
was she the boss, but she was also a quite beautiful and sensual woman.
Her sense of fashion and style made her a very desirable object for my
admiration.
I had been working for Ms D'Armond for about six months when my life
was torn apart. My mother took ill and died. It happened very quickly
and I was totally unprepared for it. Since grandmother had died, she
was the only family that I had and we had been very close, as much best
friends as mother and son. I felt so alone, as if I had been abandoned
in a world full of strangers. For whatever reason, Ms D'Armond stepped
in to fill the void. She was there when I needed advice, when I needed
to talk and when I needed to cry. She helped to fill a vast emptiness
in me.
As time passed, we began to spend more and more time together. Jeanette
would invite me over for dinner, out to movies, plays and concerts, and
even out on a picnic. It was like she had stepped in right where my
mother had had to leave off. It did not take long before we were
developing close bonds and feeling like more then just friends. I
shared with her my successes and failures, my good moods and my bad.
She provided me with comfort and stability when I needed it.
It was on a Saturday evening in April when our relationship started to
change. I had been sharing with Jeanette my frustrations with my latest
girl friend. We were in, I was sure, the last days of our friendship,
it seemed doomed to failure as had all my previous flirtations with
girls. I was explaining to her that it always came down to the bigger,
stronger, more masculine guys getting the girls while I was left to
start over.
As we sat there discussing my problem, she held me and comforted me. I
was starting to relax as she held me in her arms when she asked the
question that would change my life. "Maybe you need to get in touch
with your feminine side in order to give you a clear picture of your
problem, have you ever thought about it that way?"
I sat there in silence not knowing how to respond. Finally, I had to
ask, "What do you mean feminine side? I might not be the physical
specimen that other guys are, but I am not ready to be a girl either."
She hugged me more closely and explained, "I didn't mean that you were
any less a man. All men have a feminine side just as all women have a
masculine side. The better awareness that a person has for this mostly
hidden side, the better off they are in leading a healthy life.
Getting in touch with your feminine side doesn't mean dressing like a
girl, but in your case I am quite sure that you would make a lovely
young girl, it means learning to understand the softer, more subtle
aspects of life and appreciate them as part of your being. Now with
that said, I think that a crash course is in order for you. I would
like you to spend the night tonight and we can begin right away."
There was finality in her voice that said, "You will spend the night."
It was much more of an order than an invitation. Somewhat sheepishly, I
agreed. I didn't know where this was leading, but for now, I would play
along.
As the evening progressed, we talked about many things. A lot of the
topics were things that I never had discussed openly with anyone, even
my mother. Some how, Jeanette was just able to draw them out of me. It
was a little after 10:00 PM when she suggested that we get changed for
bed. It only took a second for me to realize that I had nothing to
change into. When I told this to Jeanette, she laughed, "I didn't
expect you to, since you are probably not in the habit of packing a
suitcase when you come to visit for the evening. But I have a solution
that I think will work. Why don't you take a nice hot shower to help
relax you, and I will take care of the clothing."
With out asking another question, I followed her to the bathroom and
prepared to shower. She handed me soap, shampoo and a big fluffy towel,
saying, "Take your time and enjoy it, I will lay out something for you
to wear."
The shower did in fact help me to relax. I turned the water hotter and
hotter until I could stand no more. I let the stream pound on my body
and drain the tension out of me. Both the soap and shampoo smelled of
lilacs. It was a soft sweet smell but not overpowering. Even the
fragrance seemed to help relax me. When I was able to pull myself away
from the massaging water, I climbed from the shower and dried off with
the big soft towel. As the steam in the room faded away, I saw that
while I was in the shower, Jeanette had taken away the clothes that I
had been wearing and left behind what she apparently expected me to
wear.
I looked at the small pile on the dressing stand and stopped.
"Jeanette, I can't wear these. These are girls' pajamas." Not only were
they girls' pajamas, they were girls' baby doll pajamas, in pink!
As I stood there, she answered me through the door. "Don't be so silly.
After everything we talked about tonight, it might be good for you to
experience what a girl feels slipping into the soft cool material. Now
go ahead and put them on, and we will sit and talk some more. I have
fixed us some hot chocolate and we can enjoy it while we talk."
Not knowing what else to do, I gave in. The panties were not only pink,
but had a small ruffle around each leg and three rows of ruffles across
the butt. The top was cut with a rounded neckline and had short puffed
sleeves that each ended in a ruffle. The hemline was just long enough
to cover the panties. The material was soft and cool against my skin,
just as Jeanette said it would be. The pajamas did not feel wrong or
awkward, but quite comfortable.
When I walked from the bathroom Jeanette was waiting. She grinned from
ear to ear, "Oh, you look absolutely adorable. Here, come into my
bedroom and look in the mirror."
I followed her into her room with out thinking about it. She stood me
in front of a dressing table where I could look into the mirror and
asked me what I thought. When I looked, I told her the first thing that
came into my mind, "I look like a fifteen year old boy wearing his
sister's pajamas!"
"Oh, it's not that bad. Turn around and sit down and I will fix you up
a bit, just trust me. As I sat there, she began by brushing my hair,
"This will never work. You don't mind if I trim it a bit do you?" And
with out waiting for an answer, she pulled out scissors and started
snipping. When she was done, I felt her clip something into my hair
just behind the temple on either side.
"Now, I want you to relax, and I am going to finish you up." With that
she started reaching for some of her make up tools and cases. When she
saw me flinch she started in again, "Don't worry, it comes off with
soap and water. Besides, I think that you will be pleasantly surprised
with the results." She used some pink blush, eye shadow in pink and
soft coral and a light touch of mascara. She outlined my lips and then
filled them in with light pink. When she was done, she stepped back and
examined her work. "OK, close your eyes and turn to face the mirror.
Now open your eyes and tell me what you think."
When I opened my eyes, I couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror. I
had looked like a fifteen year old boy before, but now, I looked like a
thirteen year old girl. My hair had been cut into a short pixie cut,
parted in the middle with soft bangs. There were two small pink ribbons
that were clipped on either side of my head. My face showed no trace of
the boy that had been there before. Now there was only the soft,
delicate face of a young girl, a very pretty young girl.
After a moment, Jeanette broke the silence, "Come on now, there will be
plenty of time to admire yourself later. Let's go have that talk and
drink the hot chocolate I made."
She took me by the hand and led me back to the living room. She served
the hot chocolate and we talked and talked. Not once did the topic of
how I was dressed, or why come up. I was too shocked to ask, but at the
same time felt relaxed and at ease. Jeanette seemed to avoid the topic
not so much by obvious omission, but more because there were other
topics that were more important.
It was after 3:00 AM when we both ran out of words. Jeanette led me
back to her bedroom, and we crawled into her bed together. She curled
her body around me and pulled me close. We slept in an embrace more of
love for each other rather than lovers.
II
In the morning, I slept late. It was after 10:00 when I finally awoke.
When I rolled over, it took some time to remember where I was, and the
events that led to me being here. I was sitting on the edge of the bed
getting my head straight when Jeanette came back into the room. I was
embarrassed to have her see me, but she quickly relieved the tension.
She walked over to where I sat and kissed me on the cheek, "Good
morning ?Princess', I am glad to see that you decided to wake up today.
I thought that you might have decided to sleep right through it."
She grabbed my hands and pulled me up. "Let's see if we can't get you
looking a little more presentable. I knew that I should have you take
your make up off before going to bed, but you did look so sweet, and I
did not want to spoil the effect. Now, why don't you go ahead and wash
your face and brush you hair while I finish getting breakfast ready.
Here is a robe that you can use when you come down."
She handed me a soft pink robe made from chenille along with a pair of
pink slippers. I took them and headed into the bathroom while she
headed back down to the kitchen.
I completed my morning tasks which today included scrubbing the make up
from my face. When I brushed my hair, it seemed to just fall back into
place in the pixie style. I decided to not fight it and brushed it as
it was determined to lie. I even clipped the two ribbons back into
place. I wrapped myself in the soft robe, put the slippers on my feet,
and headed down to breakfast
Jeanette served a breakfast fit for a king, or as she said, "Fit for a
Princess." There was fresh orange juice, a waffle covered with
strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and piles of whipped cream,
crispy bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. There was a pot of raspberry
herbal tea and cold milk. I stuffed my self, loving every bite of the
wonderful food. As we sat there, I began to contemplate how my life had
changed, for in the past 24 hours my life had surely changed, I just
could not know how much. My thoughts were interrupted when Jeanette
walked up behind me. She put her arms around me and hugged, "Jessica,
do you mind if I call you that? If I had been lucky enough to have a
daughter, I would have named her Jessica. I hope that you don't mind?"
My mind stopped. I was frozen in space and time. She was giving me the
name of the daughter that she had never had. What was happening? How
far was this going to go? I had no answers, but I also had no
willingness to make it end. I forced out the only words I could, "No, I
don't mind at all. I think that it is a beautiful name and I will be
pleased to allow you to call me by it."
We left the dishes from breakfast sit. Jeanette was so excited that she
wanted to help me get dressed for the day. I showered again as she
selected an outfit for me to wear. When I came out of the bathroom with
a towel wrapped around me she was there and ready. "I really don't have
a lot of things that are appropriate for a girl your age, but these
will make do for today." She gave me a white bra and panty set, a pair
of light beige pantyhose and a white half-slip and camisole. She helped
me to fasten the bra and showed me how to roll to pantyhose up my legs.
When I had put on the slip and camisole, she handed me a blue jean
skirt and a light blue sweater. She finished with a pair of brown shoes
with a two-inch wedge heel.
Jeanette sat me at her dressing table and started to do my makeup. "I
want you to pay careful attention to what I am doing. You need to learn
this for yourself." She started with a light foundation and some powder
to fix the coloring. Light blue eye shadow and dark blue mascara were
added. Just a touch of blush was added to my cheeks and my lips were
done in burgundy gloss. She painted my nails in the same shade of
burgundy as my lips. While the polish dried, she placed a gold chain
around my neck with a matching bracelet on my wrist. Gold clip on
looped earrings were put in place and two small rings added to my
fingers. As a final touch, she sprayed me with perfume. It had a soft
warm fragrance that filled the room.
"There we are," she pronounced, "now why don't you go practice waking
and sitting in the skirt and shoes while I get dressed. When I am ready
we will see what kind of mischief we can get into today."
I walked down to the living room and sat on the sofa. I had to get used
to keeping my legs together. The shoes were not difficult to get used
to, the heels did tend to pitch me forward a bit but in a few minutes I
was walking without difficulty. If my body was doing OK, my mind was
swimming. I had no idea where this was going, but I had no reason to
resist. In the past few weeks and especially the last two days Jeanette
and I had formed a bond. I had feelings for her that I had felt for my
mother. She made me feel loved and that I was a whole person.
When Jeanette came into the room, she was dressed casually also. She
wore a black corduroy skirt and a black and white striped blouse. Her
hair was pulled into a ponytail high on her head. Even in this simple
outfit she looked great. You could not hide the kind of beauty she
possessed. We cleaned up the breakfast dishes and sat for a while to
talk.
After a brief period of talking about all matter of things, Jeanette
steered the conversation around to me. Specifically, she wanted to talk
about her, and me and how I was dressed and how I felt about it.
"Jessica, you know how successful I have been in my life. My career and
my business are going well, and there is nothing that I have to do
without. However, at the same time I have missed many things in my
life. I lost my husband early and have found no one to replace him. And
I have missed I fear the opportunity to have children. These past few
days, you have given me back a little piece of what I have missed. I
hope that you won't mind if occasionally I ask you to fill this role
for me."
I sat there and thought for several minutes before I answered.
"Jeanette, over these last few days and the last few weeks you have
given me something that I thought that I had lost forever, the love of
a mother. Although you cannot replace her, you have given me the same
love and caring that she did. If it is as simple as it seems for both
of us to feel so much better, I would be happy to become Jessica
anytime you would like."
With that behind us, Jeanette decided that we were wasting a perfectly
good day sitting around the house. "I feel the need to shop!" She
pronounced. Before I had a chance to object we were headed to the mall.
"If you are going to be my daughter, we need to get you a respectable
wardrobe. I don't have enough things of mine that are appropriate for a
15 year old girl. We will just get you some basics today and then we
can fill in as we go."
I was totally freaked out! "Jeanette, how can I go shopping dressed as
a girl? I mean, I think I look pretty good, but there is still a boy
inside of here. There is no way that I am going to make it through
this."
Jeanette looked at me and smiled, "If you can look in the mirror, and
only see a girl, then that is what everyone else is going to see. All
you need to do is relax and feel on the inside that you are that pretty
little girl in the mirror. When you do, you will have the confidence to
go anywhere and do anything, and no one will see anything different."
Before I had a chance to give it a second thought, Jeanette was pulling
me by the arm out of the house and into her car. We drove several miles
to an upscale mall, which I had heard of but never ventured into. I had
relaxed during the drive but when it came time to get out of the car
and go into the mall, my nerves took over again. Jeanette provided some
much needed encouragement and before long we were working our way past
many of the stores on our way to a destination that she apparently had
already selected. Along the way I noticed the people moving carelessly
through the mall, into and out of the stores. But what I noticed the
most was that no one paid any special attention to me.
The store that we finally headed into was called Evelyn Marie's. It was
a high-end shop that catered to girls and young women. As we walked
through the store, Jeanette made comments about several of the outfits
on display while asking me which styles appealed to me, which did not,
and why. Several times, she said that I had wonderful taste in clothes
and that she would have selected many of the same outfits that I had
chosen. I was a little confused, since I didn't remember making and
choices, only commenting on what I liked and what I did not.
When we had covered most of the store, a lady that I took for a sales
clerk met us. She led us to a small seating area and offered us tea.
"Good afternoon ladies. I am Evelyn and welcome to my store. Normally,
one of the regular sales ladies would be helping you, but based upon
the number of selections that you made, and the fact that I recognized
you Ms D'Armond, I have decided to extend my personal services to you.
Now, if you are ready, we will bring out the various outfits that you
have chosen for your, ?niece', I assume.
Jeanette was quick to the point. "Ms Arnout, I believe? I am very
flattered that you would recognize me. I am of course quite familiar
with you, due to the notoriety of your shop and its reputation for
carrying the finest in fashions. As for my young charge, may I
introduce you to Ms Jessica Snow? She is my niece, entrusted to my care
that I may instill into her a sense of confidence and propriety as she
matures into a young woman. Now, as to our goal here today. We have
selected a number of outfits based upon her tastes as well as my own.
We would most certainly like to review the selections, and then make
our final choices. We do so appreciate your personal attention, and I
will be certain to let this service be known amongst the many young
girls that my agency represents, so that they too may take advantage of
a wonderful shopping experience at your store."
The effort was not lost on Ms Arnout. If anything, she became even more
attentive. Assistants all eager to help show the various selections to
us suddenly surrounded her. While they readied themselves to display
the various outfits, I asked Jeanette how they knew which things that
we were really interested in. She smiled as she replied, "I suppose
that you are not quite as attuned to shopping as I am, if you were, you
would have noticed that although no sales lady approached us as we
looked, there was always one hovering near by, watching and listening
to what we had to say. I know that it sounds a little like spying, but
it allows us to be unencumbered by their presence, and still enjoy the
benefits of the service. It's all a part of high fashion women's
marketing. Now, just sit back and enjoy."
I did exactly as Jeanette recommended. We were served tea and finger
foods while the various sales ladies brought out the items of clothing.
It was amazing how completely they had covered every item that either
Jeanette or I had had any positive reaction to. While they showed the
clothing, they would offer suggestions on accessories or shoes to match
or compliment each outfit. By the time we were through, my head was
spinning with the seemingly endless possibilities.
Jeanette and I talked about everything we saw, and in the end, she gave
a list to Ms Arnout. "I believe that these are the items that we will
take today. While we were looking for just a few things, I believe that
with your help, we have filled out some of the room in Jessica's
wardrobe."
Jeanette arranged to have the clothes delivered to her house later that
day. She had no desire to carry the packages, especially since we had
much more shopping to do. We left Evelyn Marie's and headed back into
the mall. Our next three stops were a shoe store, a lingerie shop and a
jewelry store. At each store, she arranged to have more packages
delivered to her house as our acquisitions grew. At the shoe store, I
wobbled across the floor in three and four inch heels and tried on
numerous pairs of other shoes and boots. In the lingerie shop, I was
subjected to the embarrassment of being measured and fitted for bras,
and for a corset. I am sure that the lady that did the fittings knew
that I was not a girl, but she never for minute looked surprised. She
went about her work and commented on how good foundation garments would
certainly help with my figure until I started to develop womanly
curves. At the jewelry store, I had my ears each double pierced while
Jeanette looked at and chose several other items. It was late afternoon
when we finally headed for her house.
On the way back to her house, Jeanette stopped and picked up Chinese
carry out food for dinner. While we got the food on the table and the
table set, she asked me what I thought of our little outing. Before I
could answer though, she proceeded to tell me that it was the most
enjoyable day that she had experienced in years, and how happy she was.
With that much said, who was I to disappoint her? I chose my words
carefully, several times using ?amazed, confused, overwhelmed and
embarrassed' as I spoke. "I had a wonderful time today. I was amazed
that for the most part no one suspected that I wasn't a girl, except
for the lady in the lingerie shop. I am confused, that it is apparently
so easy for me to be seen as a girl. I am overwhelmed by the whole
experience and the emotional rush that it gave me. And, I am
embarrassed that you spent so much money on me. I don't know what the
total was, but I saw the prices on many of the things that you bought,
and it had to add up to a huge amount. If I am only supposed to be
Jessica occasionally, you bought far too many clothes, and I feel that
somehow, I need to pay you back."
Jeanette smiled at me and gave me a big hug, "You are such a dear,
precious thing, and you can pay me back by just being the darling
little girl that you are. I must admit, that there may be a few times
when I am more demanding of you, but you have already filled such a big
hole in my life that I know that I can never let you go."
Later in the evening, all of the packages arrived via a delivery
service. When the deliveryman had gone, I helped Jeanette carry the
boxes upstairs to a bedroom next to hers. "This was one of my guest
bedrooms, but now it shall be yours. Maybe next weekend, we can
redecorate it, if you would like to?"
Finally, it was all too much. My mind was being pulled in a direction
that left me dazed and confused. I sat down on the end of the bed and
cried. Jeanette reacted quickly, sitting next to me and pulling me into
her arms. "I am sorry. I guess that I have pushed things a little far.
We will slow down and take thing a little slower. I just got carried
away by my emotions."
She held me for a while longer until I decided it was time for me to
leave. She offered to let me stay the night, but I declined. I used the
bathroom to wash up and change into my regular clothes. When I found
Jeanette, she was down stairs sitting in her rocking chair apparently
deep in thought. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for
everything, telling her that I would see her at the office in the
morning. She smiled, but never said a word. I turned and left for home
closing the door quietly behind me.
I arrived sometime later at my apartment, having driven for a couple of
hours playing back in my mind the events of the past few days. While
there seemed to be something inherently wrong with what had transpired,
I could not find what it was. For the entire two days, both Jeanette
and I had been so happy. She had filled my life with warmth that I had
not felt since my mother died. I was so confused! Finally, exhaustion
began to take over and I headed for home. My sleep came easy, but was
filled with images of the past two days I woke up in the morning still
looking for answers.
III
Monday mornings were usually pretty hectic at the office. There were
always a lot of models in for visits, and it was the day that I updated
pictures and video clips on the web site. Although most of the files
had been prepared the previous week and were ready to upload, there
were always last minute changes. This Monday was no different and the
time passed quickly. I did not see Jeanette until after lunch when she
came by to preview the web site changes. This was her opportunity to
give final approval before I did the upload.
I don't know what I was expecting, but Jeanette was her normal, natural
self when she stopped by. I thought that there would be some outward
obvious display of emotion or change in our relationship, but there was
none. She was excited to see the new video clips that I was adding, and
had brought some information for the newsletter page on the web site.
Other than that, it seemed anti-climactic and almost disappointing.
The rest of the week went pretty much the same as Monday had gone. As a
matter of fact, if anything, I had less contact with Jeanette during
the course of the week than I normally would. It wasn't until Friday
afternoon that we really sat down and talked. She had asked me to stop
by her office to talk about some software upgrades that I had proposed.
The changes were pretty expensive, but would give us the ability to
integrate higher quality video components into the web site and make it
more interactive to the on line users. We talked about the change and
she decided to go ahead and spend the money. I was ready to leave her
office when she changed the direction of the conversation.
"Are you all right with what happened last weekend? I have been
worrying ever since you left on Sunday night. If I did something wrong,
I am sorry, I just got carried away with my emotions." And with that
the tears started.
This time it was my turn to comfort her. I moved to where she sat and
gave her a kiss on the cheek. I hugged her around the neck and told her
everything was OK. "I was confused. I had feelings brought to the
surface that had been gone since mother died, and although I had a
wonderful time all weekend, it was a lot to absorb. I have thought
about it all week, and if you should decide that you wanted me to
become Jessica again, I would gladly do it for you any time."
We spent the next hour sharing our feelings and tears. We took turns
crying, and drying each other's tears. When all was said and done, we
had grown closer yet again. When we finally composed ourselves, and
wiped away our tears, I had the feeling that our relationship had yet
again subtly changed.
As I was getting ready to leave Jeanette stopped me, "I will be
attending a Fashion Show this weekend. It is all Prom Dresses and
Formals, and several of our girls will be working there. If she feels
up to it, I would like Jessica to attend with me. If she decides to go,
she needs to be at my house very early on Sunday to get ready, or she
could even come over on Saturday and stay the night."
I paused for a minute deciding what to do. In the end, I turned back to
see Jeanette standing there. You could see the hope in her eyes. I went
back and hugged her again. "I am sure, that Jessica would love to
attend. There are a few things that need to get done around the
apartment, but she will be there Saturday evening. Wait for her to get
there, and she will make you dinner. I think that it's her turn."
I spent most of Friday night and Saturday thinking about the decision
that I had made. I was a well-educated, 20 year old man, struggling to
find my place in the world. In steps a beautiful 35 year old woman, who
despite all of her successes is as lonely as I am. Now, she wants me to
play the part of her 15 year old niece, and I have agreed to do it! I
know that this is wrong, but at the same time, I remember the feelings
that we shared last weekend, and how happy we both were. Amidst all of
this confusion, I made my way to Jeanette's house on Saturday in the
late afternoon hours.
When I arrived at her house, Jeanette was overjoyed to see me. She
hugged me and held me close to her. She took me up stairs to my
bedroom, and a half an hour later, I emerged as Jessica. I wore a brown
corduroy skirt with a beige sweater. I had on brown tights and penny
loafer shoes. I wore simple makeup and jewelry, and my hair was brushed
into the pixie style from last weekend.
I made dinner for Jeanette as promised. I had learned to cook from my
grandmother and mother and was quite capable. I prepared Chicken
Cacciatore with Garlic Bread and a salad. We ate dinner and watched a
movie. I ended up lying on the sofa with my head in her lap. At the end
of the evening, Jeanette helped me change into a soft blue nightgown
and tucked me into bed telling me that we had a big day tomorrow. I
fell asleep feeling loved, but full of wonder as to where this all
would lead.
In the morning, we were up early. Jeanette directed me to the bath
telling me to make sure to wash my hair but not to dry it. When I came
out wrapped in the soft pink robe that she had left for me, she sat me
down and went to work on my hair. She used bunches of very small
curlers and wound them tightly. When she was done she sprayed my head
with a setting lotion and put a plastic bonnet over it while it dried.
When it was taken down an hour later, my hair was a mass of tight
spiraling curls. Jeanette carefully arranged the curls on my head,
pulling them down to the sides and back and securing them with
hairpins.
Next, it was time to get dressed. Jeanette selected a black bra and
panty set with a matching slip. The bra was an under wire design with
pads that lifted and pulled the bit of loose skin on my chest into
somewhat of a cleavage. Jeanette added some additional pads to give me
a bit more help. Next were nude panty hose, and a panty girdle to ?keep
things in place'. The dress that she selected was one that we had
bought last week. It was dark blue with the tight fitting bodice made
of velvet and the skirt made of satin. The neckline was cut in a way
that it showed off my modest cleavage. The sleeves were puffed out at
the shoulders and ended above my elbows. The skirt was very full and
very short, supported by layers of netting that were attached under it
and acted as built in petticoats. When it was pulled into place in
ended at mid thigh.
Jeanette gave me a pair of black pumps with 3 inch heels. When I had
slipped them on, she sat me down to do my make up and add jewelry. The
make up was more dramatic than she had done before and made me look
just a bit older. The jewelry was gold and consisted of a necklace,
bracelet, two rings and earrings that were highlighted with three small
diamonds. She sprayed me with a healthy dose of perfume and told me to
go practice walking and sitting with the heels and short skirt while
she got dressed.
When she came down stair, Jeanette was absolutely breathtaking. I had
seen her dressed well in the past but today was something special. The
dress she wore was cut to fit every curve of her body and her hair,
make up and jewelry complimented rather than created her beauty. I
stood there in silence, just looking. I must have made quite a
spectacle of myself. She smiled slyly and looked at me, "Your silent
admiration is greatly appreciated. It's not often that I get this
dressed up any more, but based upon your reaction, I must have done
OK."
The fashion show was an amazing event to attend. We were back stage
prior to the show visiting with the agency models that were there. The
entire area seemed to be in a total state of disarray, but slowly and
surely you could see it pull together. After visiting with each of the
girls we headed out front to our seats to watch the show. There were
probably 3000 people in attendance, and when we walked in to the lobby
before going to our seats, my nerves went on over load. Jeanette leaned
down and whispered in my ear, "Just relax, and remember the girl in the
mirror. She is the only one that people will see."
I finally relaxed a bit, and was able to enjoy the show. I couldn't
believe how many dresses were displayed and how beautiful they all
were. There were ten different designers involved with the show and
each one had brought between 25 and 40 dresses. There were more than 60
models taking part and numerous hair stylists and make up artists. The
stage show ran extremely smoothly in contrast to the confusion and near
panic atmosphere back stage.
After the show, we attended a lavish dinner party sponsored by two of
the designers that worked together and a large retail chain that
carried their line of dresses. There were over 100 people there
including the 12 models from Jeanette's agency that had taken part in
the show. We were treated like royalty, and the longer I was there, the
more confidence I gained in my self as Jessica. By the end of the
evening, I was sorry to see the party end.
That night, I again slept in one of the new nightgowns that Jeanette
had bought for me. It was a white cotton gown with rows of ruffles at
the hem and sleeves. I curled up in my bed hugging onto a large Teddy
Bear that she had bought me for a surprise. I slept as contentedly as I
had in years.
Over the next few weeks, I spent more and more time as Jessica.
Jeanette began to be more insistent on having her ?little girl' around.
At first, it was somewhat of an annoyance but it gradually became more
and more fun as she rewarded me with more clothes and fancy dinners.
She bought me everything that a teenaged girl could possibly want. She
even began sending me home early from work so that Jessica could be
there waiting when she arrived.
It was mid June when she decided to take things further than before.
First of all, she hired an assistant for me at the office. Her logic
was that since I was for the most part working half days, I didn't have
enough time to get everything accomplished. Having an assistant to do
most of the basic work would limit the number of hours that I would
have to spend in the office.
By the end of the first week of working with the assistant, things were
going very well. My assistant, Joanne, had graduated with an associate
degree in computer science and had about six months of experience. She
was very smart and caught on to things quickly. I could see where I was
going to put a lot less hours in at the office and be confidant that
things would still run smoothly.
Since I was now spending so much time at Jeanette's house being
Jessica, she decided that it made sense for me to move in with her. I
already had a room there, and I had little reason to go back to my
apartment, and I would save all of the money that was now going to rent
and utilities. It didn't take me long to give in, and on a Saturday
morning, she had a moving truck show up to pick up my things. There
wasn't really too much to move. I had mostly second hand furniture and
had not yet acquired a bunch of junk. By the time it was all sorted
out, we delivered more stuff to the second hand store than I took with
me.
When I arrived at Jeanette's with the movers, she instructed them to
put everything into a storage room above the garage. "This will be a
good spot to sort things out and take what you need to your bedroom.
Most of what you need is already there," she said.
As I sat there sorting through the pile of boxes, I came to the
conclusion that she was right. I took down a few boxes of clothes that
were the better things that I wore to work. Outside of that, I would
wear Jessica's clothes so I didn't need much more. I took my pictures
of my mother and grandmother and hung them on the wall. I looked at
most of the other stuff and decided that it either didn't look right in
a girl's room, or it was something that I just didn't need. In the end,
most of the boxes stayed stacked in the storage room.
Over the next several weeks, I began spending even more time as
Jessica. Jeanette became even more demanding of my time and I was soon
spending very little time at the office. Finally, it was the tenth of
July when she popped the next surprise on me.
"I think that Jessica should come into the office today." She said
quite casually. "You have been spending far too much time closed up in
the house. It will do you good to get out. Besides, my secretary is on
vacation this week and I could use a little help around the office."
Before I had any chance to object, it was off to my room to get me
dressed. She decided on business attire with schoolgirl flair to it.
The skirt was red with pleats and ended just above my knees. The blouse
buttoned up the back and had a lace collar. She chose red and white
shoes with two inch heels. Simple gold jewelry and make up were added
and I was ready for a day at the office.
By the time we got to the office, I was nervous beyond belief. All of
the people here knew me, and although I did not have regular contact
with most of them, I felt that they would all recognize me. As we
walked in the door, there were two of the designers standing in the
lobby. Jeanette introduced me as Jessica, her niece that would be
staying with her for a while, and neither of them seemed to suspect a
thing. They both shook my hand politely and introduced themselves. By
the time that they had left and we walked into Jeanette's office my
nerves were so bad that I was shaking.
The remainder of the day went pretty much the same way. By noon, I had
come in contact with almost everyone in the offices and no one
recognized me. It was mid afternoon when Jeanette suggested that we go
check out some new photos that had been submitted for the web site.
When we got to what had been my office, there was Joanne sitting at my
desk busy at the computer. I grimaced a little when I saw this, but
Jeanette squeezed my hand and I relaxed. After the normal
introductions, Joanne began showing us the new photos and how she had
planned to present them. Every thing went well until I made a
suggestion about how to do a photo merge on the web page. No sooner had
the words left my mouth and I knew that I had made a mistake.
Joanne stopped in mid sentence and gave me a funny look. She had
recognized the suggestion as something that she and I had talked about
only a week ago. The problem was that the technique that I had
suggested was a new application that was only available on the latest
release of software and not more than a handful of people knew about
it.
As Joanne sat there looking at me I fell silent, and then I felt my
cheeks burn as I began to blush. It took her another minute, but she
put it together. "Oh my God!!! Andrew, is that really you? I can't
believe it. You are absolutely gorgeous! If you hadn't mentioned the
new picture merge technology, I would have never had a clue. I really
can't believe this. You make a beautiful girl."
Jeanette finally stepped in and settled her down. She made Joanne
promise to keep my secret safe. In part, Joanne agreed when she was
offered a promotion, to Systems Manager, the position that had been
mine! "Andrew will not be coming to the office any longer, so the
position may as well be yours. If you need help, Jessica will be around
frequently and she can assist you. I think that you will find her as
capable as Andrew was."
I was too shocked to speak. What was going on? We walked quickly back
to Jeanette's office, her in the lead, me following behind with my
mouth hanging open. When we were safely behind closed doors, I asked
her what had just happened.
Jeanette looked at me with a smile that was both lovely but at the same
time sending a firm message that she had made a decision and now she
would be telling me how I was to be affected. "I have decided that if
you are going to be my little girl, you don't need to have a job to
occupy your time. There are much more pleasant and interesting things
for a teen aged girl to be doing. Joanne can keep up with the work that
needs to be done here, and if she should get stuck, you can always come
in and do a little consulting work. Now, don't look so upset until you
hear my offer."
I was profoundly confused. Here I was sitting in Jeanette's office
listening as she laid out her plan for me to become her ?niece', full
time. She talked and I listened. I had a hundred questions but could
not bring myself to ask any of them. I simply sat there and tried to
absorb it all.
"Now first of all, you are already living in my house, in a bedroom
decorated just for you, wearing clothes that we bought on shopping
trips together, and apparently loving every minute of it. All that I am
suggesting is that we make it a little more permanent. Although you
would no longer be my employee and making your normal salary, I would
be paying all of your expenses, giving you a very generous allowance,
and generally spoiling you silly. Now, I want you to think about it.
Take your time but remember the decision is yours, and it is final! I
will not sit around and discuss it."
I sat there quietly thinking about what she had said. I could either
become ?Jessica' full time and live as Jeanette's teenaged niece, or, I
could go back to my old life. Weighing the benefits of each of my
options, it was pretty easy to come to a decision. As Andrew, my life
was very basic and seemed to be going nowhere. I had a few friends but
no one particularly close and as far as girl friends go, I was fighting
a loosing battle. As Jessica, I had a home with Jeanette, and a life
full of excitement. While my love life had not benefited from the
change, I had become used to that.
With my decision made I went to find Jeanette and let her know. She had
walked down to one of the art layout rooms and was sitting there
reviewing photographs of the models at a recent show. I walked up next
to her and waited until she looked up. "So, am I supposed to call you
?Aunt Jeanette', or is there another endearment that you prefer?"
She almost jumped out of the chair to hug me. "Oh my, I am going to
spoil you rotten. I have so many plans for us. This is going to be fun.
There are a thousand things that I have planned for us. I think that
you are right. Aunt Jeanette sounds a little bit too formal, but I
don't know what you should call me. I think that it should be your
decision. You can pick it out just as you would have if we had been
together for years." She then proceeded to hug me so tightly that I
thought that she would leave bruises.
IV
The first week of August, Jeanie, as I now called her, surprised me
again. I had now been living full time as Jessica for almost three
weeks, and so far, loving every minute of it. On this particular day,
she came home with airline tickets to Paris. There was a fashion show
there that she had received an invitation to and planned on attending.
Naturally, I would be attending with her. For the next two days, all we
did was pack and prepare for the trip.
While I didn't think about it at the time, traveling overseas requires
a little extra preparation. Mainly, it requires a passport. I was
totally shocked when on the morning of the trip; Jeanie presented me
with my own passport. As I opened the cover I recognized the picture as
one that she had taken of me several weeks ago. It took more time to
read and absorb the rest of the information there. According to what it
said, I was now Jessica Angelica Snow, aged 15 born on February 7th in
Casper Wyoming. Jeanie handed me several other pieces of ID telling me
to put them in my purse so I could have them available as necessary.
Among them were a Social Security card, a driver's learner permit, and
a school ID from Westside Senior High. All of these items further
identified me as Jessica Snow.
The trip to Paris and the fashion show went well. Jeanie and I had a
wonderful time and now we were set to enjoy the city. She had allowed
us ten days to experience all aspects of Paris from the position of
tourists. During our third day of vacationing, I began to feel ill.
Jeanie had been insisting that I take vitamins on a regular basis, but
they did not bolster me enough. By the end of the day Jeanie was taking
me to see a doctor that she knew, and I was admitted to his private
clinic.
Over the next three days, I don't recall much of what happened to me. I
was either out cold or heavily sedated such that the conversation that
I heard around me didn't make much sense. It was on the afternoon of
the third day that I finally regained consciousness and found out what
was going on. As it turned out, the past three days were a preplanned
part of what Jeanie called her ?big surprise' for me. The reason for
the hospital stay had nothing to do with me being sick. That had been
caused by one of the vitamins that Jeanie had given me. The three days
in the hospital had really been spent undergoing cosmetic surgery.
During the three days in the hospital, the doctor who was Jeanie's
friend had performed several procedures. First of all, he had done some
work around my eyes. There was some skin that was removed that might
have caused early wrinkles that would not fit a 15 year old face. An
added result of this procedure was that with the skin pulled a bit
tighter, it made my eyes look somewhat larger and somehow brighter. The
doctor had also worked on my nose, giving it just a bit of a turned up
tip. Implants in my cheeks gave me a more prominent cheek line while
implants in my lips gave me a permanent pouty look.
If the changes to my face weren't enough, the changes to my body
finished it off. The doctor had used a liposuction technique to remove
the bit of fat around my waist. He had then added some padding to my
butt making it rounder and fuller. The biggest, and I do mean biggest
change, was that I now a pair of C cup boobs!
As I took in all that had been done to me, I looked at Jeanie and
cried. Through the tears, I asked her one question, "Why?" Why had she
done this to me, and why had she not asked me about it. I had never
felt so violated in my entire life. I just lay there and continued to
cry.
Jeanie held me close to her and talked to me for a long time. She had
not planned this for very long, but when the chance came to travel to
Paris, it presented her with this opportunity. The doctor who had
performed the procedures was renowned for this kind of surgery. He had
worked miracles on models that had been in accidents and suffered what
would have been disfiguring injuries. She had taken advantage of his
talents to touch up and enhance a few areas that would prevent problems
for me in the future and make me feel more comfortable in the world of
teenaged girls where a high value was placed on having just the right
look. Now, not only would I fit in, but also I would be one of the most
attractive and desirable girls in the crowd.
Over the remainder of the trip, I became more comfortable with the new
me. As the bandages were removed and the bruises began to fade, I could
see the results on my face. It was still me that looked back from the
mirror, but the face was prettier and more feminine. The changes to my
body took a little more practice to get used to. Jeanie had to take me
shopping for lingerie. Neither my bras nor my panties fit any more.
Once outfitted with new underwear that fit properly, I felt better, but
sitting, standing and walking all presented new challenges. My body
weight and shape had been redistributed to the point that these simple
tasks now required practice.
By the end of the trip, I had become comfortable with the changes and
now fully recognized the new me. For the first time, when I looked in
the mirror, I thought of myself in a new way. The word that came to
mind was sexy! No longer did I see a cute little girl with a flat chest
that seemed to be stuck with a child's body, now I saw a pretty
teenaged girl that was beginning to blossom as a woman. It was quite
the change, and the more I looked at my self, the better I liked it.
It was nearing the end of August when we returned home from Paris. On
Friday evening after we were settled back into the house, Jeanie
announced that we would have to begin doing some shopping. "You need to
develop a new style to go with your new body. I suspect that a lot of
the things that you have now might not fit right any longer. "Also,"
and this is where she dropped the big bomb, "you need to pick out new
clothes for school. Classes start in just two weeks and you need to be
ready."
School? Classes? What was she talking about now? I thought about it and
could only come up with one answer, and it brought fear to my heart.
Jeanie expected me to attend High School. She had already given me the
ID card before the trip, and now she planned on me starting High
School.
When I confronted her, she confessed. "Of course you will be going to
school. Remember, you are a 15-year-old girl now and the law requires
that you attend school. Besides, don't you think it will be fun? You
will make new friends and have new experiences that you will remember
forever. Oh, and by the way, just so you don't think that you will have
one up on your teachers, you will be taking classes that you probably
didn't take before including choir and home economics. You will find
out that you have little interest in math, science and computers, and
that you now much prefer poetry, literature, and French. Oh don't look
so surprised; while you were getting your body reworked, I had another
doctor, a psychologist talk to you. She used a bit of hypnosis to make
sure that you remember to act like a 15 year old girl. All I have to do
is mention the trigger words, and you will become ?age appropriate' as
a sophomore in high school. Now don't worry, you won't lose any of what
you know now, you will just remember that you can only use what
knowledge you have that is appropriate for your age. At the same time,
I don't want you to struggle with all of your classes, so you will be
able to recall more knowledge as you learn it again and probably do
quite well with your grades in those classes. I expect that you will
have to work extra hard on the classes that you have not taken before
to maintain your grades there."
I didn't know how to react. I was in a state of shock. Me, a fifteen
year old girl in High School, how could I do it? There is no way that I
would get away with it. I had been extremely lucky up until now, but
even with my new body, I was sure that I would break under the constant
scrutiny on 2000 kids of similar age.
Jeanie walked me up to bed and calmed my feelings as much as possible.
She brushed my hair and helped me into a nightgown. "Now I want you to
get a good night's sleep. We have a lot to do in the morning. And don't
worry your silly little head you will be just fine. All you have to
remember is to relax, and, ?Be my little Princess'."
As she said the words, I knew that it was, the ?trigger phrase'. There
was no way to respond other than how I had been programmed. As she
finished the four words, I knew who I was; what I was; and that was all
I wanted to be. Jessica Snow was here. For the last many weeks, I had
been playing the part with out knowing the finishing act. Now I knew.
Saturday was an incredible day. After a light breakfast we were off and
shopping. We started with lingerie, and this time we bought what was
appropriate for a 15-year-old girl. Not as fancy and frilly for
everyday wear. We bought skirts and blouses, dresses, and even some
pants and tops. This was the first time since I began becoming Jessica
that I was allowed to wear pants. Jeanie explained that girls my age
wore pants more then skirts and dresses. This actually made me feel a
little disappointed but she mentioned that I would certainly wear more
skirts than the other girls at school.
The highlight of the morning took me totally by surprise. We were at a
large department store when Jeanie led me to look at the jeans. She
picked up several pairs in different styles and sizes and we headed to
the dressing room. "Jeans are pretty tricky sometimes. You never know
for sure what size you might wear in different style. Also, some jeans
are cut to fit differently, so you just have to try them on."
We had already picked out several pairs of jeans when Jeanie came back
with one more pair. She held them up for me to see and I could not
believe it. "There is no way that I will ever fit into that pair of
jeans." There was barely enough material there to make a pair of pants,
but Jeanie insisted so I tried them on. It took some wiggling and
tugging, but I was finally able to squeeze myself into them. I was just
getting them zipped and snapped when Jeanie walked in. She handed me a
white cotton top and told me to try it with the jeans. When I was ready
I should come out and check the mirrors.
When I made my way out of the dressing room and in front of the
mirrors, I was speechless. There is nothing like a pair of tight jeans
and a stretchy cotton top to show off curves, and boy, did I have
curves. Since the bodywork had been done, I had not been wearing many
tight fitting outfits. I was afraid of what I might see. Now, there was
no denying it. I had curves that would be the envy of any teenaged
girl, and the focus of every teenaged boy.
Jeanie decided that I should wear this outfit for our next stop, so I
gathered up the other clothes while she paid for everything. She came
back with a pair of boots for me to wear that were just the thing with
the jeans. They were casual style ankle boots with a side zip. The
color was somewhere between tan and pumpkin. The heels were 5 inches of
stacked leather and there was a one-inch platform.
As we headed out of the department store and down the mall, I couldn't
help but to walk with a wiggle. Jeanie smiled at me, "Most girls spend
half of their adolescent years trying to learn how to walk like that,
when all it takes is the right pair of jeans and boots to bring it on.
You will be surprised at how soon that wiggle carries over to your
normal walk no matter what you are wearing."
At the end of the mall, Jeanie guided me into a Beauty Shop. She had
made an appointment to have my hair, nails and makeup done. My hair had
grown considerably and now rested lightly on my shoulders. Although the
long and straight look was always in style, we selected a more feminine
style. My hair was first died to light brown and the highlighted with
streaks of blond. The stylist then proceeded to cut it into a layered
shag style.
When my hair was done, two ladies went to work on my face and nails.
The first one added acrylic nails to each finger, trimmed to a long
rounded end. Each nail extended almost an inch past the tip of my
fingers. She finished them in a bright red that served to bring further
attention to them. While she finished my nails, the other lady worked
on my face. She started out by plucking my eyebrows to a delicate arch.
This was a slow and painful process. Once that was accomplished she
went to work finishing my makeup.
While these ladies worked on me, I became aware of some one placing
their hand on my belly by my navel. The hip hugger jeans and cropped
top had left it exposed. Before I could make any sense of it, I felt a
sharp poke followed by mild pain. When I was able to raise my head and
look, I found that my navel had been pierced and that there was a small
gold hoop attached. Jeanie was there as I looked up, "It is the latest
thing with teenagers. We wouldn't want you to feel left out, would we?"
When I was done at the beauty shop, there was no trace that remained of
the boy that had once been. There was only Jessica, and when I looked
in the mirror I totally approved of what I saw.
V
School started the first week of September. When I showed up on the
first day, I found that all of the registration had been completed. I
was given a quick tour of the building, my class schedule and dropped
at my homeroom. It was happening so fast that my head was spinning. I
had planned carefully for this first day, taking the better part of an
afternoon to decide on an outfit to wear. In the end, I choose a red
plaid pleated skirt and a white blouse with knee socks and red and
white saddle shoes.
While I sat through the homeroom session with the usual announcements
droning on, I checked through my class schedule. In the morning, I
started with English Literature and Poetry. Then I went to General
Math, French and Choir before lunch. After lunch I had Home Economics,
History and General Science. It seemed like an awful schedule to me and
I went forth to face it with considerable trepidation.
The first day went by in a blur but along the way I did manage to make
one friend out of the many students that I met. Her name was Lori and
she was in four of the classes with me; English, French, Choir and Home
Ec. She was an outgoing person with a wicked sense of humor that showed
itself often. She recognized that I was new to the school and decided
to take me under her wing to help me get adjusted.
Under Lori's guidance, I made it through the first week of school and
started to get settled in. She introduced me to other people and helped
me to learn who the snobs were versus the prep stars versus the less
than desirables. She was totally infatuated with boys but admitted to
never having had a real date. She was into fashion and style at all
levels and constantly commented on how people dressed and whose outfit
was hot and whose was not.
When she finally shut up long enough for me to get a word in, I told
her with her interest in fashion that she had to meet my aunt Jeanie.
When she realized what I had said she went into hysterics. She couldn't
believe that Jeanie ran a modeling agency and knew so many of the hot
designers. In her mind, I am sure that this sealed our friendship.
Over the next few weeks I learned something about teenagers that I had
forgotten. There were three things the occupied the thoughts of almost
everyone. For the boys, it was sports, lunch and sex. For the girls it
was social status, dating and clothes. While I admit that schoolwork
occasionally entered the picture, it at best ran a poor second and that
was only occasionally.
I quickly learned how to fend off the advances of amorous boys that
seemed overly attracted to me. It seems that with my new body, I was
able to draw more than my share of this kind of attention. I also
learned how to tolerate the comments from girls that desired this
attention but did not receive what they felt was their fair share. And
finally, I learned which of the girls were putting out, and which of
the boys were scoring. Both of these groups fell from my ?A list'.
Although I attended a few parties and other events I did not date, and
for obvious reasons didn't feel that I should. This lasted up until the
middle of December