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Chapter 39 I awoke before the alarm went off and just laid there in the soft feel of the covers. The pillows so delicately cradling my head, the smoothness of cotton sheets wrapping around me. Holding the world at bay for the few moments of silence I could have right then. My mind drifted to the bra I wore and was comfortable in, the nightgown I could feel around my arms and neck, on to the panties encasing my crotch. All these garments I had forgotten I was wearing until I actually thought about them. I wondered briefly if this is how life would be. Would I wake every day forgetting what I had become only to remember once I felt something, or seen myself? Was that really any different than anyone else, was my consciences reply. I didn't often argue with myself, but during really hard choices it was sometimes wise to play ones own devils advocate. Because in that reply was some solid advice and a revelation of truth. People were always themselves, they dressed for how they wanted other people to perceive them. Clothing was an extension of who you were, sometimes at a particular moment, sometimes for how you felt and sometimes just for utility to whatever you were doing. However it didn't define you as a whole, many had confirmed that mistake. From business deals to battlefield generals, the wise didn't care what you wore, they watched what you did. So good advice I did indeed give myself. The revelation of truth? I already knew those very things and I had let my fear make me forget them. Somewhere along the line I had made a mistake. I had quit being me and started pretending. Not totally, just mostly to myself. The clothes, hair, makeup and everything else was a disguise to cover my gender, not my person. The advice and instructions people had given me I filed away into Bridget the girl. I had separated my male and females personas into two differing people. When in reality I was one person. So I called a truce to the death match as it were. I put both personas on the same team and decided to just be me. Let the girl I was finally be free, stop putting a face on what I thought I should be, male or female. If I made mistakes I would do them as me, not a faker trying to fit into what someone told me I should be. I would let people decided for themselves what they thought I was, I myself would define me as a girl. It was what I truly wanted to live as so it was time I stopped being scared and started living as me. Who just happen to be a girl inside and loved it. Deciding this led me to wonder about other hard questions I had been asked. I moved to address them while I still had a clear determined mind. Starting down the trail, some were easy, I did want breasts and hips, damn it. I wanted to fill out my clothing like every other girl and I deserved to. Especially given all the crap I was sure I would face at some point. Getting someone to confirm what my brain already told me I wanted to be. Fighting with the state or federal governments to be recognized as the female I saw myself as. That fight was for another day, so I moved on. Hormones, that was a sticky question, I wanted the soft skin, and the shapely figure that would come with it, but I wasn't sure what the costs would be. Could I have it and keep my penis? Would I want to once I did? Answers that required more information than I currently had, I vowed to find out once I had a reasonable chance. Next I thought I should focus on more immediate concerns, what to do when the three weeks were up. Easy I wanted to stay as a girl. Period. I didn't want to go back to being a male anymore. I wanted to be me, the female. Now the how of that was another matter. To stay a student or not, the truth was I could use all the reform I could get. I had no idea how to live as a girl, so the classes and instructions could only help me. That and without a degree I would continue to struggle, so I needed one. Another item to be checked was added to my mental list, what kind of degree could I get? Deanna was the last really tough question. Not only what to do about her, but almost everything that had to do with her continuing to be a part of our lives. But then that was already part of the problem, she wasn't part of both of ours lives, she had been a part of Kelly's, not really mine. I thought how I could make her part of mine and Kelly's lives together. She would truly have to be a part of it. I would mentally have to stamp her as ours. That meant considering her in whatever it was we did. Dinner, snuggle time, going places, sleeping in the same bed, just whatever. I would have to make sure to sit on her or just touch her on purpose, without being suggestive. Now as how to handle sex, that was going to be tricky. I didn't want them wandering off to bed to have sex and leaving me alone. That would be tough, but I didn't want them to have to sneak around either. I wanted them to be comfortable to have sex whenever they wanted. I didn't see a clear solution for that so I filed it away as to be resolved later. Maybe talking with them both would be the best bet. I felt I had adequately answered the problems that had mounted before me, at least in the short term. So I needed to get up and at my day. I had to meet Ms Sherrim for lunch and I wanted to present the best girl-no I wanted to look my best, for I was a girl now, for me. So I got up and made my bed, start with simple things they say. Then I went and retrieved a new pair of nude panties and matching bra. I left them on the bed as I made my way over to the white and pale rose makeup desk. I went through the drawers setting out my makeup in order. Choosing the same eye shadow, blush and lipstick Lidia has let me use yesterday. I thought I would ask her if I could keep them or get some of the same color. I liked wearing the pink lipstick and I was going to wear what I liked. I was still arranging things when there was a soft knock at the door. "Come in," I said in my best girl voice, no in my voice, my new voice. Lidia came in surprised I was up, telling me so. She was wearing the standard white blouse and black skirt with the Mary Janes and ankle hose. I sat down on the bed and crossed my legs, how I should sit from now on. I patted the bed next to me. She came over and sat down. I held out my hand to her and she took it. I pulled her into my arms and a giant hug. "Thanks for being an awesome friend, Lidia," I said trying to maintain my girlish voice. "Your welcome, but what's up with the girly voice?" Lidia asked in reply. I released her from my hug, but continued to hold her hand. "I woke up early today and had some quiet time to think. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't being myself, I was pretending to be someone. More so pretending to myself that I was only doing this for all of these other reasons, but the truth is I love this. I really do and I need to follow this to whatever end it leads. This is how I want to stay Lidia, this is who I yearn to be. Now I just need to be me, the girl and stop pretending to be something or someone else," I explained. "I see, well I will help you be the best girl you can be," Lidia smiled back at me. "So should we talk about all the problems that will cause or did you already decide on that stuff too?" she asked. "I have already for what I can see as the immediate problems, the other stuff can be handled once I am able. The thing I need to worry about right now is getting through the brunch with Ms Sherrim today, then I can start on those other problems," I replied. "Good girl. Then let's get started," Lidia said standing up. A quick grab of the essentials and we were in the shower room early again. I went through my daily routine, only I thought of myself as the girl getting ready this time, no longer wondering what I would want. I washed my hair and made sure to use lotion on my body again once I was dry. We were on our way back down the hall with me already wearing my bra and panties under my robe. "There is something different about you today," Lidia said. "Really? You sure it's not just me not being upset anymore?" I inquired. "No its not that, I can't pick it out yet, when I understand I will let you know," Lidia replied still inspecting me. We made it back to my room, yes "my" room and I set about getting my clothes out. Being careful with the white dress, heels, garter and stockings. Then I remembered something I had forgotten. "Crap. Lidia sweetie do you think you could run over to my apartment while I get dressed and ask Kelly for my nude gaff? I forgot to get it yesterday," I asked. "Sure, be back in a jiffy," Lidia said making her way out the door while still looking at me strangely. I set about getting dressed, the dress carefully, was the first, the garter belt and stockings next just as carefully, pulling my panties back over them for now. The white matching heels were last as I could easily slip them off when Lidia returned with the gaff. I wrapped the towel around my shoulders and covering my breast as I sat down at the makeup desk. I went about applying my makeup in the same way I had the day before. Trying to imagine that I was doing this before I went to work, like I would every morning. Afterwards checking my work and touching up my face, until I was satisfied with how I looked. I removed the towel, hanging it on the back of the makeup desk chair. Retrieving the brush and wig, I set about affixing it to my head. Once I was finished, I got some gold hoops out and put them in my ears. Next I got the white clutch out and put the powder, lipstick and lip gloss inside. I stood in front of the full length mirror inspecting my work. I played with how my hair set around my shoulders and on the sides of my breasts. The sheer sleeves felt so smooth brushing against my skin. I loved how the frilly sleeves or chiffon layers at my hips would tickle me. Everything really felt wonderful down to my stockings and heels. However there wasn't a sexual pull to it. More of a sensual satisfaction, an almost release of matching what I felt with how I seen myself. Looking in the mirror I liked the girl I appeared to be. I thought this is the girl everyone should see. This is how I wanted to be seen without worrying that I had a penis instead of a vagina. "Well girl you look good and it's about time you were free. Life will not be easy for us, but then if you truly want something it rarely every is," I said to myself in the mirror. I played around with how to hold my clutch in my hand as I walked toward the mirror from the other side of the room, so I could see how it would look. I did the same thing with it over my shoulder, one then the other. I decided to flip my hair to one side when I wore the purse on my shoulder, it just looked better. Lidia opened the door, returning with the gaff as I was adjusting my hair with the clutch hanging from my shoulder. She gave me a questioning eyebrow as she handed me the gaff. "Primping are we?" she asked smiling slightly. "Not really, I just wanted to make sure I liked the way I was presenting myself," I replied returning her smile and taking the gaff. That earned me both eyebrows raised, followed by another perplexed look, as if she was trying to solve something about me. "Can you turn around sweetie, so I can fix this?" I asked, making a turn around gesture with my finger. Amazingly she didn't say anything, she just nodded slowly and turned around. So I turned my back to her pulling off my heels and then my panties. I pulled the gaff up and tucked things in. Putting the panties back on over them, I adjusting the fit and inspected how it looked in the mirror. Readjusting my skirt I turned to the side and liked the flat front I appeared to have. "Ok all finished," I said sitting down with my skirt smoothed under me and putting my heels back on. Again I thought I didn't feel a sexual pull, they were just my shoes that I was going to wear. A part of my outfit, that I happen to like, but it was just who I was, not something naughty I was doing anymore. I liked that feeling a lot. It felt comfortable in a way. A small flitter of joy passed through me at the thought of dressing this way from now on. I briefly wondered what I should do with all my old clothes, or how I would get more than just seven outfits. Lidia just looked at me the whole time I had been thinking to myself. She slowly set down on the bed next to me putting a hand on my back. "I think I see what it is now, your confident in who you are. It shows in the way you hold yourself, how you're talking now, even how you're addressing me. You truly have accepted who you are. I am really happy for you. It takes most girls a long time to get to that point, that confidence that they are more than what they were," she stated smiling at me. "Yeah, your right, I do feel more confident, more sure of myself. I just didn't think of it like that," I replied. "Well just don't let it go to your head, try to remain reserved, especially when you are with Ms Sherrim today. Don't lose that confidence; just don't let it get you into trouble," Lidia advised. "Ok, I will try to keep that in mind," I said accepting her advice. "It's about that time; we should head over to the administration lobby and wait for Charles to get here," she said standing up and offering me her hand. I stood up adjusting my purse on my shoulder, sparing one last look over myself in the mirror. I took her hand and led her out the door. We walked hand in hand casually down the hall way as I relaxed into who I was. I tried to walk calmly like I had practiced in the mirror. Lidia instructed me to sway a little less and take smaller steps, I had a bit to much runway model in my step. We both shared a laugh and I tried to rein it in as it were. Chapter 40 We arrived at the administration building and proceeded to enter the lobby. We were first met by Deanna in a wonderfully looking blue sheath dress and cropped jacket. It had a straight neckline, was form fitting down past her hips to leave the skirt just above her knee. The jacket had three-quarter sleeves with flared bell cuffs and rounded corners on her jacket front, adding even more curves to her bodies own. Her hair was up again, wrapped smooth against her hear, twisted and dangling in the back, held in place by some clip with pearls on it. Pearl stud earrings and a short pearl necklace partially hidden by her collar, were her only other jewelry. Nude hose covered her shapely legs ending in a pair of matching blue pumps. Her makeup was subtle, soft browns and peaches, around her dynamite eyes and lightly along her cheeks. A peach lipstick adorned her very kissable lips and I wondered if my own pink had been an influence. "Hello Ms Dunterbaum, you look fantastic today," I said greeting her with the girly no make up, mess up hug. "Hello to you to Bridget, you look very beautiful today," was her reply, though with a slightly perplexed look. I thanked her, while she and Lidia greeted each other with simple hellos. It was during this time that Kelly came out of the office in a sleeveless white printed cotton sheath dress. The top of the dress was all white with tiny black trim. While the skirt of the dress had light blue flowers along the hem with thin black stems and leaves curling up the skirt, along with sparsely place splashes of blue flowers. A black patent belt defined her waistline. Her hair was down and straightened, flowing over both her shoulders. Silver hoop earrings peeked out from her hair and a short silver necklace with a blue pendant adorned her neck. A silver watch and matching bracelet accented her soft touchable arms. The sheen of her legs gave away the nude hose or stockings that covered them right down to the white peep toed pumps with small black paisley designs. Her make up was normal with light browns and tans around her mascara and eyeliner. A touch of peach on her cheeks and a natural lipstick added color to her beautiful face. "Wonderful to see you again Ms Montgomery, you look very beautiful yourself today," I said greeting Kelly with the same girly hug I had given Deanna. "It is very nice to see you too Bridget, but what is up with the formal greeting?" She said returning my hug and giving me a very questioning look. "I am supposed to be a student, remember? I can't very well go around calling you by your first name, now can I?" I replied. "Ah I see, well then it is a pleasure to see you as well Ms Honeysett, You look wonderful today I might add," She said playing it up a bit with a smile. I thanked her the same way I had Deanna and again Lidia simple said hello. "I know why I am dressed up, but why are you two looking so lovely this morning?" I inquired. A look passed between Deaana and Kelly, before Deanna responded. "Ann wanted us all to sit down together at my apartment after you returned from brunch to talk. She didn't say exactly what about, but I am pretty sure it is about this entire situation. I get the feeling she is just concerned for everyone and really hasn't had a chance to talk in length with any of us. If I were in her shoes I would want to do the same thing." "I think that is a good idea too," I said after just a little thought. "That is a very pretty purse, where did you get it?" Kelly asked changing the subject. "It was actually a gift from Ms Sherrim," Lidia replied. Then we both recounted the entire note and our concerns over why Ms Sherrim chose to do such a thing. Deanna was surprised to hear it as well and also thought I should try to pay close attention to what Ms Sherrim said today to see if I couldn't catch on to what she was up to. We didn't get a chance to discuss it any further as Charles had arrived and it was time for me to leave. He was an older gentleman, I would say in his early fifties. His slightly stocky build was dressed in a typical black suit, a white shirt, black tie and black shiny shoes. He had short salt and pepper colored hair that was well groomed with an equally well groomed short mustache. He was polite, well spoken and greeted us all by our last names. I said my goodbyes as he offered me his arm to escort me to the car. I took it how Lidia had instructed me to do so, gently placing my hand under and on his forearm. I felt odd doing so at first, as he was the first man I had been around since I began dressing like this. He paced my clicking heels well like he was used to escorting ladies and I suddenly began to relax somewhat. I determinedly decided to not forget to be true to myself, so I straightened my back and rose up my chin. "That's a bit better," he whispered to me, patting my hand on his arm. We made it to the car which was a black expensive four door sedan of some sort with tinted windows. He promptly opened the door and held it for me while I gingerly smoothed my skirt and sat down on the seat, placing my purse over my legs while I swung them into the car. "Well done Ms Honeysett," he said before closing the door. He got in and we were on our way. The drive took some time as I quietly sat in the back. Just looking out the window and thinking how wonderful it felt to be out in the world dressed as I wanted to be. Chapter 41 After a long two hour drive we arrived at what I can only describe as the estate. Nothing else really fit it. A wrought iron mechanical gate paired with stone walls on both sides, followed by a wide paved long drive way accompanied buy rows of well trimmed pine trees. Ending with the driveway circling a fountain set right in front of the house. It was like some ones story book idea of how old money should do things. The house was huge, multiple storied with a covered balcony overlooking the front yard. A set of concrete stairs flanked by well maintained flower gardens led up to a double front door. Charles had gotten out of the car and I had just taken his offered hand, getting out of the car when a covered golf car pulled up along the paved course way surrounding the house. Once I was standing Charles handed the car keys over to the man exiting the golf cart. He was dressed in a white long sleeve shirt with a black buttoned up vest, with black dress pants and black shiny shoes. He smiled warmly at me as Charles guided me over to the passenger seat of the golf cart. Once I was out of the way the man closed the back car door and entered the car, pulling away. Charles made his way around to the driver's seat of the golf cart and down the causeway we went at a leisurely pace. Which I was thankful for because I wasn't sure exactly how much wind it would take to remove my wig. Thankfully it seemed like a calm morning so far. We made our way around the house with flowers continuing to border the house. The yard was large and well maintained, with gentle rolls to it. Ending in long rows of leafy trees, almost like a fence, I realized then that they were not only for beauty but as a break against crossing winds as well. The small winding paved cause way led to a large white gazebo. Long strands of ivy vines ran along its many posts and across the top, blending it in with the surrounding area. Charles stopped the cart within a few steps of the landing and promptly made his way around to aid me in getting out of the cart. Once I had my purse over my shoulder he escorted me to the landing where Ms Sherrim and Ann Mercer were waiting. I was more than a little surprised as I hadn't seen Ann since she hired me and I didn't know what she would make of me now. Charles patted my hand and whispered, "Remain proper now, just as before." I knew what he meant and reacted by resuming my poster and my confidence. I hadn't realized they had both slipped, but I couldn't thank him enough for the insight. I wanted to present myself a certain way, even if I hadn't planned on Ann being here. He had helped me maintain that presence, it gave me a better appreciation and respect for him. Once there, Charles was excusing himself when I thanked him for his escort. Squeezing his hand and giving him a hidden wink for his words of encouragement. He informed me I was most welcome before returning to the cart and driving away. I was left with Ms Sherrim who was wearing a pale butter cream colored skirt suit. Her hair was again up in its standard bun, her make up, lightly applied did match her outfit even down to her neutral lipstick. Sparse gold jewelry and matching pumps rounded out the rest. I was beginning to wonder when the last time she changed her style was. Ann on the other hand had a lovely light orchard purple colored pant suit on. With a white blouse underneath, pearl jewelry and some short matching heels. Her grey hair was messily styled and her make up was tasteful but a bit pronounced today, almost like she wanted you to notice she was wearing some. I brushed off the thought as I made my greetings. "Good morning Ms Sherrim, you look very nice as always. Ms Mercer nice to see you as well and looking lovely yourself," I said with a smile for them both. "A pleasure to see you as well Ms Honeysett, won't you join us?" Ms Sherrim replied indicating to the large light stained wooden table occupying the center of the gazebo. Ann smiled in response as we all made our way to be seated. The chairs were solid light colored wood as well and with arms and solid white cushions. I gently smoothed the skirt under me as I gingerly sat, crossing my legs I felt wonderful. So feminine and natural, I couldn't help to be slightly happy. The chairs were just tall enough for my heel to set comfortable flat against the floor. A slight tilt to the backs allowed you to relax or still sit upright if you chose, I stuck with up right for now. I had chosen the closest seat facing away from the cart path. Ms Sherrim took the other one on the left of me, as Ann chose to sit across from me, leaving the last chair unoccupied. "I must say Bridget, you look very different from when we first met," Ann said, casually relaxing back in her chair. "Much improved, I might add," Ms Sherrim interjected before I could reply. Ann's subtle hint was not lost to me. "Thank you, but I still fell like the same person, I just have a different...perspective," I tactfully added. "Well you certainly don't act like the same person, you appear to have embraced the changes you have gone through so far," Ann continued. "I am sure Ms Locksby has influenced that, she is quite good at her job," Ms Sherrim again interrupted. I caught Ann's hint once more. It was almost like we were having our own private conversation and Ms Sherrim was just along for the ride. "Ms Locksby has been very helpful in her instruction and I can say I do like the person I am becoming," I replied smiling at Ann. "Do you, and what person do you see yourself as?" Ann inquired quickly, a little too quickly. Ms Sherrim looked at her as if the question was blatantly obvious. "Why a lady of course." I didn't feel like it was a conversation anymore, more of a sword fight and we were fighting around Ms Sherrim, only she was oblivious to the whole thing. "Not quite a lady yet, but I am trying to learn," I replied never really taking my eyes off Ann. "Maybe you could share some of what you have learned with us?" Ann asked dodging slightly. Ms Sherrim joined an attentive Ann as they both looked for my response. I didn't keep them waiting. "Well, I have tried to learn how to dress and act more properly. Caring more about how I present myself now than I have in the past. The effort that really requires and the undeniable help it sometimes takes. I value the good advice of those around me a bit more as well, I wouldn't have made it very far without Lidia's support," I replied in what I hoped would satisfy Ann. "So do you like the way you are presenting yourself today?" Ann continued her inquiry. It made me think of the heels my feet sat in, the stockings that encased my legs as I became aware of the garters pulling on them against my skin. The skirt tickling my thighs and covering my panties, the woven lace and sheer patches of the dress, letting the breeze through. My bra wound around my chest, digging into my shoulders as it held the breasts to me. The sheer sleeves that danced down my arms to the frilly cuffs that ended in my wonderful French manicured nails, gleaming in the sun. The Auburn hair that cascaded around my head weighing it down. I blinked my mascara covered and peach shadowed eyes, parting my pink lips to utter a simple reply. "Yes, I do." "How could she not, she looks lovely," replied Ms Sherrim, giving Ann a confused look. I don't know why she wasn't catching things, what she was thinking about or what she was waiting for, but Ms Sherrim could come to my rescue any time now. "She does appear to be a lovely girl. I am just wondering how she feels about all that has happened so far," Ann dodged again, though I felt like her attack angle had changed. Ms Sherrim appeared to feel it was an adequate question as she turned to look at me. "It has been a whirlwind of events it seems. I have learned a lot about myself in that short time to. I like where I am headed and I want to continue to pursue it," I replied to an observant Ann. "Have you considered how your presentation will affect the world around you? Those you interact with, perhaps old friends you will run into and what you will do when that inevitability happens?" Ann inquired more softly this time. I knew who she was referring to. Kelly more so than anyone and Deanna I am sure to some lesser degree. Perhaps she wasn't sure where Lidia stood on the matter either. I wasn't about to crumble and I was getting tired of this game. I didn't dislike Ann but I wasn't sure what she was playing at just now. I decided she should see I knew war games as well, a little table turning was in order. "Should I allow others to define who I am in my own eyes or should I present them with the person I feel I am? Wouldn't a real friend accept me for myself, not for some predetermined misconception?" I counter struck. "Touch?," a smiling Ann nodded to me. "Ann Mercer, what is this some kind of- " She flipped her hand around in the air searching for the word. "-Inquisition?" Ms Sherrim interjected, giving Ann a questioning eyebrow. Ann just turned her head and replied with a sympathetic smile. "Am I not allowed to be concerned in the well being of a girl's development?" They paused looking at each other. In that moment something passed between them, an understanding. The kind of understanding, people who have waded through a mound of crap together and survived can only share. I didn't know what traumatic event or events they had seen each other through, but it had clearly left a mark on both of them and they knew it. Ms Sherrims face softened to an almost matching smile. "I can't very well fault you for being concerned over your girls. It is your charge and your choice," Ms Sherrim replied. I was waiting for more to be said with my ears all open, but we didn't get the chance to continue as the cart arrived behind me. Ann broke her gaze from Ms Sherrim at the sound of the cart stopping to look up, her face losing its smile to a calm regard. "Katrianna Sherrim, what are you about?" said Ann looking over my shoulder. I turned to see why and there he was. Sandy blond hair parted to one side, fluffed and perfectly groomed, resisting the breezes attempt to mess it up. A smooth chiseled face held a pair of bright brown eyes and pert mouth concealing a dazzling smile he spared for Ms Sherrim. His lean and athletic body hid under his soft tan polo, brown belt and light kaki pants. Brown expensive shoes and a gleaming silver watch rounded out his outfit. He was attractive to lots of girls I am sure, the kind of guy most guys would be jealous of. A trickle of fear and doubt surfaced, questioning how a guy would see me, how soon he would find me out. I had a penis just the same as he did and I was dressing like a weakling next to his male confidence. The last thought made me imagine grabbing that fear, shoving it in a hole and stomping it with my pretty little heel till it bloody well fit. I told myself I was pretty and I felt it, a beautiful person on the inside and it shown on the outside. How I chose to present myself was my choice, I wanted him to meet me as the kind girl I felt I was and that would be what he saw. My confidence returned and I felt comfortable in my skin and clothing again. "Grandmother," his rich proper voice sounded as Ms Sherrim stood to greet him. He took her dainty hand she had offered as a proper lady and placed a light kiss on it. Ann was already standing, I stood up so as not to be the only one sitting. "You don't have to call me that, you know that," Ms Sherrim replied smiling, caressing his check like a mother does a son. "Doting aunt, just dose not do you justice," was his full reply. She gave him a good laugh, patting his face thankfully. I was a bit surprised, it was a side of Ms Sherrim I didn't imagine existed, but there it was. He was clearly dear to her. Ann had made her way around and off to the other side of Ms Sherrim. "Ann, what a pleasant surprise," he said moving to take her hand properly as well. Ann brushed his hand out of the way and wrapped him in a big hug, which he returned heartily. "You don't have to be so formal with me," Ann replied with a warm smile. "It is always refreshing to see you Ann," he stated just as warmly. "It is good to see you as well, Sebastian," Ann said parting from him. "Sebastian, this is Bridget, one of our Westford girls who is my guest for brunch today," Ms Sherrim said, being all proper introductions all of the sudden. He took my hand like he had hers and place a chaste kiss on it. "It is a pleasure to meet you Bridget and might I add you look very lovely this morning," He added, though everything he said was respectful and held no hidden meaning. I had to admire him for that. Of course his self defined grandmother was watching, but it had become clear to me why he was here. She was playing match maker and I was quite positive Ann had caught that too. "It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Sebastian. Thank you for your compliments and let me add that you are quite the handsome young man yourself," I replied in an equally respectful tone, friendly but not suggestive. Ms Sherrim indicated we all be seated, with Sebastian on my right and Ann across from me again. "So what brings you out this way today?" Ann inquired to Sebastian. "Grandmother invited me to join her this morning, insisted really." He gave an understated eye to Ann. Ann gave him an understanding nod and warm smile. "Am I not allowed to invite my nephew to brunch?" Ms Sherrim asked feigning innocence. All three of us gave her the disbelieving smiles the attempt deserved. "Feel like running yet?" Sebastian said to me with an apologetic smile on his face. I had to smile back at him for the letting me know he didn't like being set up, but appreciated Ms Sherrim enough to endure her motherly attempts. "I can scamper pretty fast in heels and I am golf cart certified. I planned on high jacking it when the food arrived," I played along. He leaned over to me in a faux whisper. "Take me with you, I can get you past the gate." He was rolling right along with me. "Deal," I said giving him a smile and a wink. He let out a good laugh that was as rich as his natural voice, I had to laugh along with him. We both didn't like being set up, but at least we could be nice about it. I glanced to see Ms Sherrim and Ann watching us, the first with an approving look, the second smiling behind her folded hands and shaking her head in disbelief. A couple more carts arrived at that time with several people and food. Drinks, silverware, cloth napkins and plates of food were placed in front of us all. Sebastian made a point to thank them each time they placed things in front of him, insisting they called him by his first name when they addressed him as sir. I thanked them as well when they placed things in front of me, it just felt right and they seemed to appreciate the acknowledgements. The drinks were simply ice water with a wedge of lemon on each rim. The plates contained what looked like a cooked egg on a slice of ham over an English muffin, with some kind of yellow sauce poured over everything. "Eggs Benedict, my favorite," he explained to me. So I undid my napkin, placing it in my lap. Taking the silver ware I cut the food up into small pieces so they would be easy to chew and it would take me awhile to eat it. They all followed suit and soon we were eating and conversing. Sebastian explained that he was home for summer break from college, which just happened to coincide with the scheduling of summer formal at Westford. To which every year she tried to find some beautiful girl to tie him too. "Surely you must have your choice of girls?" I asked him. "Yes he does and he keeps throwing them away as fast as he meets them," interjected Ms Sherrim. "Well perhaps he just hasn't found the right one," Ann replied. "I know it is a big planet, but must we survey the whole selection?" Ms Sherrim quickly added. We all laughed lightly at her joke. Sebastian nodded his head absently while eating. I then realized that Ms Sherrim actually made a joke. Who was this woman and what an affect her nephew had on her. We talked lightly about things as we ate. I asked what Sebastian was studying in school. It was business of course with a minor in culinary arts. The business degree was for when he would eventually take over, the reform schools for both the boys and girls. The culinary was just something he liked to do and figured since he had to go anyway, he should at least get to learn about something he liked part of the time. He inquired as to what I studied, I replied right now my concentration was just focused on improving me, but I would consider some kind of degree in the future. "You need improvement?" he asked giving me an imitation eyeballing up and down. I laughed thanking him. "Yes despite what you might think, I believe I have a lot to learn." "Why haven't you captured the heart of some fair maiden?" I asked smiling at implying he was a knight, clearly he would fit the bill for many girls. "If their hearts were filled with more morals and less agendas perhaps I might," he replied. "Ah, the prize of many a girls eye then," I understood. "Yes and a means to a financial end as well," He confirmed my understanding. "I thought you two might get along famously. You both share a like mindedness. Why don't you escort her to the summer formal since you will already be in town?" Ms Sherrim asked with her doting smile still on her creased face. I gave her a questioning eyebrow as I thought she was hitting a little close to home with the like mindedness comment and she didn't even know it. Ann just sat with a slight smile on her face casually observing the entire exchange, she was one cool cookie. Sebastian finished his bite and leaned over to me. "And there it is, the proposition. I didn't think it would take her this long, she must be slipping," he said good naturedly. "Oh what is wrong with setting my nephew up with a lovely date while he is in town?" Ms Sherrim replied not giving an inch. He looked to Ann for help, she only held up her hands. "You have to fight your own battles, but this time I am in agreement with her and cannot think of a better date for either of you," Ann replied smiling at us both. Ms Sherrim gave Ann a surprised look, while Sebastian reeled in mock pain. I gave Ann the, what-the-hell-are-you-doing-eyes when I thought neither of the other two were looking, she just winked back at me. "Oh the betrayal, I never suspected this from you Ann," he overacted. We all shared a small laugh at that. Then he turned to me. "It appears you might be stuck with me," he said with another apologetic smile. His words made me quickly consider who I would have escorting me to the formal if I didn't take him. He seemed to be a really honorable kind of guy, I obviously wasn't something he lusted after and he knew I was a setup by his grandmother. Was there a safer date for me? Maybe that was why Ann thought it was a good idea. The alternative was taking my chances with some guy who had been in an all boys school for several months, the prospect of being pawed all night was not a pleasant one. I knew then that I had better take him, but I thought I might have some fun with him, since I was clearly at the advantage. "I don't know Sebastian, you might have had it too easy with all these women throwing themselves at you, perhaps if you were to ask me properly, I might say yes." I tried to keep the smile off my face and mock indignation in its place, but I didn't last before a giggle escaped my lips. He was a bit surprised, amused and willing to play along apparently. He wiped his mouth with his napkin, scooted his chair back, taking my hand gently into his while he got down on one knee. I thought my eyes would pop out of my head, I hadn't expected this, I guess it served me right. "Bridget would you do me the honor of allowing me to escort you to the Summer Formal this year?" he said all proper and confident, only showing me a slight smile at the end. "I would be delighted to," I replied smiling and letting him out of his predicament. Ann and Ms Sherrim clapped their approval, while Sebastian returned to his seat after a small bow. I was glad he was having fun with it and not taking the whole thing to seriously, it was actually a big relief. "It appears you two might enjoy yourselves at the formal, which I do believe is the entire intent, is it not Ann?" Ms Sherrim said with apparent satisfaction. "You are absolutely correct," Ann replied still smiling. We continued to talk idly about the summer formal while we finished our food. I would need a dress, which would be found some time over the next week, by the next weekend at the latest. Sebastian already had adequate clothing as he had been to several, but promised he would look his best. It was at this point Ms Sherrim decided she had kept me long enough and it was time I was getting back to the school. "Why don't you escort her on the return trip, Sebastian? You two have gotten along so well so far and I am sure she would appreciate the company," Ms Sherrim further meddled. I was a bit surprised when he readily agreed, maybe he was just being nice, or doing it for her sake. We made our goodbyes with him again kissing Ms Sherrims hand and hugging Ann. I graciously thanked Ms Sherrim for having me for brunch shaking her hand as she smiled at me with motherly approval. A smiling Ann and I shared a girly hug before Sebastian gave me his arm as he escorted me to the golf cart. I got in, placing my purse in my lap so as to maintain my modesty and not show too much leg. Sebastian never batted an eye as he got in, driving us leisurely back around to the front and a waiting Charles with the car again. I am assuming someone told him or they were watching for when we were departing. Charles held the back door while Sebastian led me by the hand into the back seat as I repeated the sitting and sliding my legs in routine. Afterwards he made his way around to the other side letting himself in as Charles got in the drivers seat. Thus the return drive began. Chapter 42 I was sitting in the back of a car with a guy, dressed completely how I liked and somehow I didn't feel nervous. My mind told me I should be scared, uncomfortable, self conscious at the least, not to mention I should really be freaking out at how wrong so many people would perceive this. Yet here I sat, perfectly fine, enjoying being a girl in the presence of another male. I wondered if it was the respectful way that he treated me, or the fact that I didn't feel like an object. Maybe he was just an easy person to get along with, or maybe I was the reason, not treating him like some object to be conquered. Whatever the reason or combination thereof I had to admit I was at ease around him. "You will have to forgive my grandmother, she means well," he said breaking the small silence that had built in the car. I had a moment to wonder how these other women could screw him up. Likable, good looking, easy to talk to, like a gift from heaven to a girl, how do you mess that up? "I can tell she means well when it comes to you, you really are dear to her," I replied. "Well she doesn't have any grandchildren of her own, which is one of the reasons I call her grandmother as well," he replied relaxing a bit. Geez he is sweet to his grand mother too. Seriously, how do you fuck that up? If he was a girl and I was single I would have married him in an instant. I smiled to myself at that silly thought. "I take it she didn't have any children of her own?" I inquired idly. "Actually she had a son, but they had a falling out and he doesn't come around anymore. It's actually a long story," he answered. "We have got some time," I replied smiling. "Fair enough, well from what little I have been told. Aunt Katriannas husband as it were, strayed from his marital vows, several times over the years before he died, as men in power tend to do. So aunt Katrianna did not react well to a similar situation with her only son. I don't know the actual details; I have only been told she found him in a very uncompromising position and in her anger promptly threw him out. He has never been back since. I do know that he received part of his inheritance, but they don't speak anymore. So if she does have any grand children she doesn't know or can't see them," He relayed a bit sadly. "Wow I really feel for her. That has got to be hard," I replied thinking you would never suspect it looking at her. "I am sure it is. Now my father is not a poor man by any means, but aunt Katrianna paid for me to attend the best private schools money could buy and even now I attend a very exclusive college. So my father has been grooming me to take over the business for awhile now. He won't take it over himself out of respect for her and his wanting to be his own man so to speak. He did however know that aunt Katrianna would be proud to let me take it over and so the plan has been in place for some time," he continued to elaborate. "You know, if I hadn't met you today, I would never have known she was such a complex woman. Don't take this the wrong way, but I would have just thought she was a hard uncaring woman, when if fact she really isn't," I said a bit sheepishly. He laughed, "Don't be fooled by the hard shell aunt Katrianna puts on, she is really a softy at heart. That is however her role at the top, to be the rock as it were. In order to push people to be their best, she has to be hard sometimes. I don't fault her for that," he chatted away. "I guess I can understand that, it is hard to be the leader sometimes. How will you lead?" I asked smiling to take any sting out of the question. "I lead a bit differently, I try to coax it out of them, pull them to be their best, you might say instead of pushing them. I can still make the hard decisions when I need too, but I would rather they followed me because they wanted to," he explained confident in his method. "Now you sound like Ann. How did Katriaana and Ann meet anyway, they seem so opposite?" I asked thinking as I went. "They are, Ann is the temperament to aunt Katriannas fire. I don't know when exactly they met, but I know it was a few years after she and her son had their falling out. I think she applied for a job or something and aunt Katrianna hired her after they talked only a short while. I know Ann really helped her during those tough years afterwards and she has been grandmothers close friend ever since. She balances grandmother out. I hope she is still around when I take over someday," he carried on, then stopped all of the sudden and looked at me. "What?" I asked suddenly fearful that I had done something wrong. "I think I might actually enjoy this summer formal with you, here I am chatting away like some school girl. Usually by now the girls are the ones chatting away at me, that or they have dollar signs in their eyes," he said slightly amused. I just laughed and told him his dollar signs were safe from me, they wouldn't get me where I needed to go. He asked about me and I dodged a lot of questions with the past not really being important. Finally telling him I had an unhappy childhood, which led me to live an unhappy life and thus had brought me to the Westford girls school. Which was skirting the edge of truth pretty closely. I stated my outlook was focused on improving me going forward, so I tried not to dwell on my past. Continuing on, I had made a lot of changes since coming to the school, while learning a great deal about myself and how to be a proper lady. Again there were sparks coming off that edge of truth, I was so close. It was a whirlwind of events and I was happier with myself now than I had been in a long time. We chatted as we rode on, talking about various things. I tried to keep the conversation focused on him and not me, as I really didn't have much to say that wouldn't give me away. He inquired about any boyfriends I might have and I replied I wasn't into boys at this time. Which was true, I just left off the or ever would be part. I asked about some of his former girls. To which he relayed a few horror stories, I couldn't believe some of the dumb stuff these girls had tried to do to him. So I finally struck gold when I got him talking about his culinary schooling. It was actually rather interesting and it gave us something to talk about for the rest of the car ride. Chapter 43 The car rolled to a gentle stop followed by Sebastian and Charles both exiting the car. Charles opened the back door, while Sebastian made his way around the car to extend his hand to me. I let him help me out of the car and then took his offered arm for escort. We made our way around to the sidewalk as Charles called out that he would be waiting in the car. "I won't be long and you can call me by my first name, grandmother is not here," he replied with a boyish smile. "As you wish Sebastian," Charles stated with his own grin entering the car. We walked arm in arm down the sidewalk towards the administration building, him timing his steps to mine much like Charles had. When we were a few steps away he leaned into me whispering still with his boyish smile. "Charles has been with the family as long as I can remember. When I was a young boy he used to sneak me chocolates and play tag with me in the halls. He is a good man and a fine employee." "I had a feeling he might be," I replied thinking back to Charles's brief words of encouragement. Ascending the stairs and reaching the door, Sebastian held it open for me as we entered the lobby. He escorted me arm in arm again the twenty five feet or so to the waiting trio of Lidia, Deanna and Kelly. Lidia looked like she melted when she seen him, with Deanna giving him and I a questioning eyebrow and Kelly remained stone faced. I hadn't thought it might hurt or upset her to see me on the arm of a man, so I instantly felt for her. I did the best thing I could, I dropped his arm and introduced him to everyone. I started with Lidia, who turned into a pile of giddy goo, when he took her hand and kissed it, barely uttering hi. Deanna and Sebastian knew each other apparently but he kissed her hand the same way he had Lidia's, as she greeted him warmly with a genuine smile. Kelly spared him a reluctant smile and a cool hello, when he kissed her hand the same as he had the other two. "To be in the presence of so much beauty I am truly a blessed man. Well I better get back, it is a long drive and I don't want to keep Charles waiting," he said turning to me. He flashed me a brilliant smile and gave my hand a lingering kiss, oh he was hamming it up for the others sake. I would have to kick him in the ankle later, accidentally on purpose of course. "Until this weekend, I bid you farewell lovely Bridget," he said. "This weekend?" I asked not understanding. "Yes, when the other girls pick their dates I will be there to spend some time with you so you aren't by yourself. Grandmother talked you into two dates not just one," he said around another smile. "Oh and I only made you ask once," I said faking regret and smiling. "I know, it was such a bargain for such a beautiful date," he replied laughing. I just shook my head as we all said our goodbyes. Lidia couldn't have been more stupefied if she had been hit by a car. Deanna said her goodbye warmly while shaking her head as well. Kelly said hers just as coolly as her greeting, keeping her eyes on me. He walked out the door and skipped down the steps when Lidia spoke up. "He's dreamy," she said staring after him. I just laughed looking at Deanna. "Did she really just say that?" Deanna laughed with me, sharing in my amusement at Lidia's sappiness. "Apparently." I slapped my hands together close to Lidia causing her to jump. She half slapped me on the shoulder smiling at me. "What? I can't help it and why do you get to go out with him?" Lidia said with a bit of embarrassment. "Yes why are you going out with him?" Kelly said in a very cool tone. I turned around in disbelief as Lidia and Deanna moved out of the firing zone, standing to one side to clean up the aftermath of the fight they saw coming. Kelly just looked at me like she wanted to half cry and half throttle me. I couldn't believe she was acting this way. "Well? Care to explain prince dreamy?" She said hands on her hips, I knew she was mad cause her nostrils where doing their little flair thing as she breathed through her nose. "Your jealous? Seriously jealous, of him?" I asked pointing over my shoulder toward the door, with each word I got madder. She didn't answer me, so I put my hands on my own hips and faced off with her. "I have one guy escort me home, note he didn't even kiss me. One of the more honorable guys I have ever met, who just happened to treat me like a real person when I am dressed like this and you are seriously going to question my loyalty?" I fired away, squinting my eyes over the kiss and real person parts to drive home the points. I started tapping my foot. "Should I give you a moment to let the stupidity of that truly sink in?" I carried on, now my nostrils were flaring. That got her going, "Well what should I think when you look so beautiful and happy, on the arm of Mr. GQ himself?" she fired right back. "You're supposed to remember that I didn't freak out when you brought home the beauty queen," I irritably replied indicating to Deanna with my open hand. Some people would have called that a cheap shot, but it was the truth. Yet emotions are real bastards, they take perfectly intelligent, loving, understanding people and warp them into someone they are not. At this point we were both being bastards or bitches as it were. She looked down taking a couple of deep breaths. "I don't want to lose you," she replied in a soft voice. I tenderly lifted her face in my hands, starring into her eyes with all the love in could put in mine. "You're not going to lose me, not till you throw me away," I said gently kissing her lips. She wrapped me in a large crushing girl hug and just like that we went from fight to make up. Love was a sadistic mistress sometimes, but somewhere along the line she gave you pleasure. "Dodged a bullet there," Lidia said leaning over to Deanna. "I thought I was going to have to use the fire extinguisher on them," Deanna replied. "You would do that?" Lidia asked amusedly. "It was a thought," Deanna replied with a smile. Chapter 44 Deanna suggested we moved up to her apartment as we had caused enough drama down here. I began to relate the entire brunch tale as we walked along and eventually into the apartment. I was in the middle of retelling the return car ride, sitting on the couch next to Kelly and Lidia, with Deanna on the other side of Kelly, when there was a knock at the door. It was Ann, who Deanna invited in, offering coffee and a seat. She readily accepted and settled herself into a chair from the dinning room table. "Well I can see the whole gang is here. I assume you all are wondering why I wanted to speak with you," Ann stated calmly sipping her coffee. "It had crossed our minds," Deanna replied gently. "Well I had intended to address the entire situation involving Bridget or Brian as it should be. I wanted to get a feel for how you were handling being thrust into this role and the affect it was having on you. I thought I would drop in on brunch to get an observation of you without the other threes influences. I have to say I was rather surprised by the girl who greeted me. I do apologize for my prodding earlier, but I had to be sure of a few questions." "I hope the answers satisfied your curiosity?" I asked thinking back to the conversation. "They were honest and truthful I felt and I think you are well on your way to becoming what I think you really want. I wonder though, have you told them?" Ann asked, once again with the hard questions. "I haven't had a chance," I replied looking at Ann "Then it is a good thing that I called us together, so that we might get everything out on the table. I will start. My main concern is with the continuation of this program here at the school. Now I am willing to accommodate you to a certain extent, however I cannot allow you free reign. Therefore I need you to decide what it is that you really want and then I will hold you too that decision. I had initially intended to give you some time to think things over, but after brunch today, I am confident you have already made your choice. So why don't you tell us all what it is that you really want Brian," Ann stated, setting the stage. I stood up and walked a step away, turning around so I could face them all. Kelly had taken Deanna's hand into hers, Ann had taken note of that as well, while poor Lidia looked like the girl just along for the ride. I still felt pretty in my white dress, stockings and heels. My hair and make up I could fell encasing me. The nails and gold earrings adding touches. I took a steadying breath as I reminded myself to be true to me and honest with them. "I had some time to think about things this morning and came to some conclusions. The first is the easiest, that I really do want to be a girl," I voiced confidently. Ann smiled easily as if she already knew the answer, which I expected she did. Lidia smiled brightly, glad I am sure for my confidence and coming far from the crying girl she left the night before. Kelly held Deanna's hand, with small tears rolling down her face. She smiled at me happy for the girlfriend she was gaining and sad I am sure for the boyfriend she was losing. Deanna smiled uneasily, not really sure of what this would mean I guess. "This of course led to my next decision, I want to say on as a student. Eventually graduating with a degree, that and I will really need all the help I can get," I continued on. "I am willing to accommodate your special case, given how well you have done so far, but there are a few things I will need to be clear on. I will hold you to every rule just the same as all of the other girls here, no exceptions. I expect you to be an exemplary student and not become lackadaisical in your efforts, you will still be a representation of this school. I will not tolerate any kind of sexual misconduct, in any way with the other students. You will keep your true nature a secret, bearing some unavoidable situation. As far as medically we can explain that you have a hermaphrodite condition and you are working toward your chosen gender. Lidia will remain your mentor until you no longer need one. You will also spend one hour a week in closed sessions with me for psychiatric evaluations. We will not begin any kind of hormonal regimen until I am positive that you are mentally suited to living as a female and this is not some kind of response to some other problem. You will have the same restriction as the other girls, once you leave you can never come back, you must see this through to the end if you want to stay. Do you feel you can live with these conditions while remaining with us here?" Ann asked in all seriousness. She wasn't rude in her delivery but it was quite clear she meant business. I let it sink in, the extent of what she was asking me, the cliff in life that I stood before. I thought back to what all I was giving up, the male life that I had led up to this point. I could remember some good times, but I could remember just as many bad times, brought on by my unhappiness with my gender. I thought about how I had felt today, being treated wonderfully after I had presented myself how I wanted to be seen. I knew not every day would be like that, but it was those moments of honest peace I was striving for. Then answer was already quite clear. "Yes, I can in every way," I replied to Ann confidently. "Ok then from this moment forward you will cease to be Brian. I will only refer to you as Bridget from now on and I expect everyone in this room to do so as well. Is that understood?" Ann replied, Everyone answered the affirmative, though I didn't really understand why she was taking this so seriously. Somewhere along the line I caught the weight of what she was imposing, no wishy-washyness, no flakiness, no second guessing. She was driving home this was the real deal. I felt excited and happy at the same time, I was finally going to be free. "Good, now Bridget you will refer to faculty by their last names only, except for Lidia of course. That means you will refer to me as Ms Mercer, Deanna as Ms Duntrbaum and Kelly as Ms Montgomery at all times, is that understood?" Ann asked with a sternness in her voice. "Yes Ms Mercer," I replied. "Now grab a chair, take a seat over there and remember how you are supposed to conduct yourself," Ann instructed smiling lightly. So I did as she instructed, taking a kitchen chair and sitting in it where I had stood, crossing my legs and sitting up straight. Ann turned to Lidia. "You need to grab a chair and be seated next to your student, please." Lidia stood up, grabbed a chair and joined me. Then Ann turned to Kelly and Deanna. "You two are my last concern for today. I know you have found love in your situation but I need to be clear here as well. What happens behind these doors in none of my business, and it will remain so. As long as you maintain an appropriate level of professional conduct out side of here. That includes consideration for where you are working and living as well as for who may be watching at any time. We do not need any controversy to distract these girls from their true purpose here. As for Bridget, I do not want any show of affection outside of this apartment, nor any kind of favoritism. I expect her to be treated with the same regard as the other girls. If she slips then correct her as you would any other girl. I do not mean to be cruel, but I want her to understand the full weight of the life she is facing. It will be hard and she must see it through for herself. That being said, I will make arrangements for you two to spend one day a weekend alone together in this apartment. You may be as lenient as you like, or you may hold her to the rules, I will leave that up to you. One other thing, I want you to remove all of Brian's clothes from the closet, his bathroom things, anything male from this apartment that you don't want. We have boxes that can be brought up and you can put them in there, then we can put them in storage for safe keeping. That way if Bridget should fail, then Brian can have his stuff back when he leaves. On second thought, leave it, I have a better idea," Ann instructed in a gentle manner. Ann turned to Lidia and I. "Lidia tomorrow after classes you will drop Bridget off to help Ms Montgomery with packing things from her departed boyfriend. You will not help Bridget in this, it is something she most do on her own, as I believe it will aid in her transition. After Ms Montgomery is finished she will contact you to retrieve her. Understood?" Ann asked calmly and matter of factly. "Yes Ms Mercer," Lidia replied. Ann let a long sigh, rising up and returning her chair to its rightful place. She motioned for Lidia and me to do the same. I followed Lidia's lead and repeated her actions returning to stand in front of Ann, with my purse over my shoulder and my hands neatly folded in front of me. "It is time for you to say your goodnights; you have a big day tomorrow," Ann said to me. I made my way over to Kelly, who never waited for me to get to her. She tackled me in a huge hug and a wonderfully long kiss. Parting to whisper her love with tears trailing her face. I returned her whisper and love. She stepped back and surprisingly Deanna wrapped me in a large hug. She parted, sparing me a gentle kiss on the lips and assured me she would watch over Kelly. I thanked her and turned as Lidia took my arm in hers and walked me out the door.