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GENERAL FACTOTUM By Monica Graz EPISODE 1 CHAPTER 1 I was seriously unhappy when I met Linda. It was totally unexpected of course since I am not the flirting type and I never make a pass to a girl. It was as if everything was planned to happen that particularly warm and balmy Friday night. I was sitting alone in my favorite bar with the funny name 'joker', since my two closest friends were busy and couldn't join me in our steady Friday night outing, our 'jour fixe' as we called it. I was enjoying my glass of white chardonnay when I sensed a female presence next to me. It was mainly the perfume that attracted my attention taking me away for a moment from my gloomy thoughts. I slightly turned and I saw a smiling and warm face looking at me. I smiled back instinctively and nodded slightly. "Hi, I am Linda," she said in a very natural and relaxed manner offering her hand to me. I was quite surprised, women rather rarely shake hands, in bars in particular, but I was quick to react taking her hand and saying at the same time, "Please to meet you Linda, I am Paul." Her hand shaking was strong and firm, again quite unusual for a woman. She looked at me in the eyes as she continued chatting, "I can assure you it is not my habit to chat with unknown gentlemen but I was somehow intrigued by you. It is not such a common sight for a man to sip wine in a bar, at least in the quite macho town we live." "I hate beer and strong drinks don't agree with my stomach," I answered back rather intrigued by her remark. Soon we were chatting like old pals. Linda was a very straightforward person asking precise questions which required clear answers. Later I realized that at the end of this unforgettable evening she knew much more about me and my private life than I knew about her. She had a unique way to extract information. Two hours later we were both quite tipsy when I asked her to come to my small apartment for a night cup. She accepted eagerly adding that she would love to see my place. When we stood up to go I realized for the first time that she was clearly taller than me even in her completely flat shoes. We drove in her fancy SUV since I had to sell my car last week to raise some money to cover urgent expenses. Unemployment wasn't fun by that stage, my financial resources would be exhausted very shortly and I would face a rent problem by next month. But as I was sitting next to a very beautiful lady inside a fancy car, assisted by several glasses of wine I was feeling quite euphoric. I haven't had that experience before; for the first time in my life I was picked by a woman! My apartment was very clean and tidy since I spent a few hours this morning doing my housework. Linda instantly noticed that. "Wow, I am impressed, what a tidy place and it smells so nicely, not that cheap cleaning stuff some cleaners use. You must have an excellent cleaner," Linda said clearly surprised by the sight. I answered with a mischievous smile throwing for the first time a hint of my preferences and preclusions, "Unfortunately I don't have the option of a cleaner, not enough funds for that. I do the cleaning in my apartment; in fact I spent several hours this morning cleaning, that's why you see it so tidy and fresh smelling." I stopped to look at her; she clearly was interested, then I added, "But I have to admit that I like housework, it gives me a satisfaction when I see the finishing product of my efforts, I sometimes think I must have been some sort of domestic worker in my previous life." I thought this last remark was bigger than a hint but the wine helped me being bolder. She looked at me with fresh interest, but before she was able to say something I added, "My God, I am not a proper host, I forgot to ask you what you want to drink. Some more wine, tea, coffee?" She smiled at me and said, "Not any more wine I might get a hangover tomorrow, but can I ask you if you have any hot chocolate? It helps me to sober up after a long drinking night." "As a matter of fact I do," I answered back, "I am a hot chocolate lover as well." I went to my kitchenette to prepare our hot drinks and Linda followed me. She was looking around checking everything. She was clearly the observing type. When I opened my pantry door to retrieve two mugs she instantly spotted my work apron hanging behind the door. "Is that your apron?" she asked in a playful voice. "Yes it is," I answered truthfully. I decided to be quite open with her, she wasn't the type of person you could lie or play little games; she was too straight forward for that. "I use it when I do messy jobs around the house, I feel more protected then." "Protected from what?" she asked innocently. "You certainly could wear your old jeans and a T-shirt to do your messy jobs; most cleaners do that nowadays." I decided to go all the way with Linda, the worst that could happen would be for her to get angry or annoyed or even scornful with me, but somehow I felt that her reaction would be not negative. Call that a trannie's intuition! I simply said, "Though we just met or even because of that I want to be frank with you. I am very fond of aprons and lots of other feminine clothes. You see Linda I am an occasional cross dresser." I stopped preparing the hot chocolate and turned to look at her. Her expression didn't change at all; she simply smiled at me and said, "Wow, what a straight forward confession. I like your straightforwardness; I am flattered that you confided such a personal feeling and tendency to me." All of a sudden a new world opened for me, I wasn't rejected or ridiculed, and Linda acted positively to my 'confession'. She interrupted my thoughts by saying, "Please finish preparing our hot chocolates so we can park comfortably in your sofa and talk, I am quite intrigued by what you said before." It was nearly two in the morning when I stopped talking. She was a good listener and her questions were precise and to the point. I told her that I was a heterosexual cross dresser since I remember myself; that I adored everything feminine and I admired and respected women. I told her that I studied hotel management and I had quite a good job as an assistant manager in one of the top hotels in town but I was made redundant because the hotel was cutting down in costs and that I was looking for a job during the past two months. I never mentioned though that I was fired because I was caught by one of the hotel maids dressed in her working clothes in one of the changing rooms thinking that I was alone and safe since it was late at night. She simply returned to retrieve something important from her locker. Bad luck indeed but also a totally stupid movement from my part. Of course there was a mini scandal in the hotel and I was dismissed with a summary decision from the management. And as expected, I was refused a reference letter and that made my job hunting much harder now. I also told Linda that I was a competent cook and housekeeper since I had to learn the basics during my hotel management course and my internship afterwards. She was clearly intrigued when I told her that I had no immediate family in town, all my relatives where in another part of the country. I only mentioned my two good friends, Alex and Mathew both friends from my college days. By that stage I was quite exhausted and Linda looked tired too. Probably I should offer to put her up her for the night but I was worried she might take it wrongly. She excused herself to visit the bathroom and she came back smiling mischievously at me. "Is the nightie behind the door yours?" She asked, the smile still framing her handsome face. When I nodded affirmatively blushing slightly she added, "Very good and practical choice, something that I would choose to wear. A sensible cotton long night dress is very comfy at night." She thought for a moment then suggested, "Would you mind very much if I spend the night with you here? It's very late and I am too drunk and tired to drive." "I meant to ask you that but I didn't dare," I eagerly answered. "Of course you can stay, I'll give you my bed and I can sleep in the couch, I just..." She interrupted me with her hand. "You don't have to move out of your bed, we can share the bed but we both are going to behave. We can be two girl friends sharing." That last phrase of Linda excited me tremendously but I had to behave. I kept my voice as cool as possible when I said. "Of course we can share and cuddle also. I promise to be a good person." I nearly said 'girl' but something stopped me, I was still uncertain about Linda. "Great," she exclaimed. "Could you please lend me one of your nighties?" We were so tired that we collapsed within minutes. During the night I kept touching her body but I was very careful not to wake her up. I never stopped thinking her last phrase, 'we can be two girl friends sharing'; it was a phrase that kept coming back to me all night. CHAPTER 2 The smell of fresh coffee woke her up. I was already toasting bread when she joined me for breakfast. We both sat around the table in our nighties feeling slightly alien to each other; it was quite bizarre as a sight. Linda decided to break the ice. "Have you any plans for the weekend Paul?" I couldn't lie to her, I had no plans whatsoever. I was not looking forward to a rather bleak weekend and another job hunting anxious week. I simply said, "No plans Linda, I am all yours." "I like that, you can be mine then for the weekend," she said rather seriously now. I was excited again; Linda was getting more assertive by the minute. She didn't give me time to think because she added, "I am going to have a shower, you can wash and tidy up and then we go to my house and plan from there." She was nearly ordering me already! I managed to say, "Yes, Linda, that's a good idea. Let me give you some clean towels." "Thanks sweetie," she said as she was getting up to go to the shower. She stopped as if she thought of something and added, "Would you like to pack an outfit of your female clothes and your other accoutrements so I can meet your other side?" I looked at her speechless, I haven't expected that. She raised an eyebrow and smiled, "You seem surprised by my suggestion, I thought you would love to appear in your other persona." I found my voice giving her a tight smile. "I'd love to do that Linda if you are prepared to meet Paula." She answered, eyes narrowing in pleasure, "So this is your femme name? Paula? I must say is not very exciting, too near your male name. If we continue to see each other I would probably rename you if you don't mind, we'll find a more suitable name, but I have to meet first your other side, then the name will pop up naturally." I gave her another tight smile; she was no match for me this lady, too assertive and strong minded. And yet I was up in the seventh heaven, I thought I was in the middle of a wild dream. I was blushing as I answered her, "I better rush then, I have to finish my chores, decide what to take and then shower as well." "Good." Linda smiled like a Cheshire cat. "Since you shower last you can also tidy up my mess." I was tempted to answer with a 'yes Madam, as you wish Madam' but I decided against it, it was too early to reveal my submissive side to Linda; I'd rather live to her the initiatives. Somehow I had the feeling we were heading the same way from opposites sides. Soon we were driving in Linda's luxurious SUV. I was sitting next to her clutching my 'Paula's' bag feeling unusually high. All the gloom and doom had abandoned me, I definitely was in the middle of a dream, those things don't usually happen to unlucky guys like me. Linda's voice brought me back to reality. "We talked a lot about you last night but you know very little about me so I should probably tell you a few things that you have to know." She stopped and gave me a side look. Her Cheshire cat smile was in her face. "You probably have worked out that I am a well off person. I live in a big house in an up market suburb. I live alone with my two beloved Persian cats Jasper and Jay. I also had until recently a live in Filipino maid who unfortunately had to go back to her country for family reasons. I work in my family business in the city as a stoke broker and all in all I live a very intense and busy life." "I am impressed," is all I managed to say truthfully and not ironically, thinking at the same time what on earth a girl like her is doing with a guy like me. She must have read my mind because she continued in a calm voice, "You said it last night Paul that I am an open and straightforward person so I'll be quite frank and to the point with you." "I would appreciate that Linda," I answered back not exactly knowing what to expect and yet full of positive anticipation. Probably a work proposition?" "I am not looking for a boyfriend Paul; you probably understood that last night when I avoided having sex with you and you were such a darling sharing so graciously the bed with me." You should have known the effort I made not to touch you, I thought to myself. Linda continued, "What I need is a 'general factotum' a favorite expression of my father." She sent an amused side look at me thinking that I wouldn't know what she meant. And she was right of course, since I automatically asked, "A what...?" "A general factotum, a person to do everything, from the Latin fac totum." She was nearly laughing from my reaction as she continued, "I have a big house, two animals I adore, a large garden including a solarium; I need a housekeeper and/or secretary and you appear to be a prime candidate if my intuition is correct and it usually is." I noticed that she added that last phrase without any modesty. She was obviously very certain of herself and her ability to judge and choose correctly. It is a work proposition after all! But general factotum, housekeeper/secretary, in other words some sort of domestic worker? Isn't that something like a dream coming true? Was she suggesting that I can work for her as a female? I was lost in utter confusion when her voice brought me back to reality. "I can tell you have lots of questions Paul and I am sure I'll be able to answer them all in the next few hours. I leave the highway now, in another few minutes we will be in the house." CHAPTER 3 Large forbidding house, this is the impression I got as soon as we stopped in front of the main entrance. We had to go through a large gate monitored by cameras and then a short drive brought us in front of the house. I would call it a Hollywood mansion, from my experience of films and soapies. Linda deactivated the alarm and we moved in surrounded instantly by two immense and fluffy Persian cats. "Hello Jasper, hello Jay, hello little darlings, have you missed me, I know, I know, I abandoned you last night." Linda was talking and patting them at the same time, you could instantly tell how fond she was of them. She was still talking to them when she pointed me with her finger. "This person here might be your new companion guys, and I'll tell you the name when we decide for one, but you should be kind to him." I looked at her aghast; I was a nameless person for the cats. She smiled at me benignly, "Don't be offended sweetie, those two animals are very bright and I don't want to confuse them with your real name not just yet anyway since we might give you another one if you decide to continue being in this house, so be patient and follow me to the kitchen, before you get the guided tour, I am dying for a fresh cup of coffee.' We moved to a spacious and well equipped kitchen and she immediately said, "Let me show you where I keep the coffee things so you can start preparing one, do you know how to use an espresso/cappuccino machine?" She was asking me to prepare coffee in her own house; she was already testing my abilities to be her..., what she called it, ah yes..., her 'general factotum'. "Of course I know all kinds of espresso machines, don't forget I am hotel trained," I answered certain for my abilities to handle the little machine." "Very good then I'll have a double cappuccino," she said and went to check the cat food arrangements. She turned her head adding, "And of course you are welcomed to have one yourself, you are still a guest in this house." I didn't miss her last remark; she was clearly preparing the ground for some sort of business proposition. She continued making small talk as we had our coffee mostly about how wonderful her recently renovated kitchen was then suddenly she came to the (much anticipated) point. "Now sweetie, I want you to go and change to your feminine clothes, I am dying to see your other side, it will help me to decide which way to go with you." She stood up and motioned at me to follow her. At the far end of the kitchen there was a corridor leading to a service entrance as she called the back door of the mansion and four other doors, two at each side of the corridor. She opened the first left door and we entered in the lounge of a small two room apartment which I instantly assumed was the maid's quarters. The thought of it instantly sent shocks of excitement to my body; I tried to stay calm and not reveal my intense feelings so I turned to her saying innocently, "That's a sweet little apartment, it must be the housekeeper's premises." "You guessed correctly sweetie," she said equally innocently, "My recently departed Filipino maid Jasmine was staying here, she left in such a hurry that she abandoned some of her belongings, I'll sort them out myself and send her the more personal items." She pointed to the bedroom next door, "You can comfortably change there, there is a dressing and a mirror and of course an adjoining shower toilet facility. Now hurry up sweetie, I am dying to meet the girl that will emerge from this door in a little while." She stopped for a minute, then added, "And please don't exaggerate and appear as a total tart, I want to see a modestly attired girl, someone who could be suitable for what I have in mind." She smiled warmly at me. "Now surprise me pleasantly sweetie, I'll be in the day room that adjoins the kitchen." It took me an hour to complete my transformation. I was quite experienced putting make up on, a job I was doing for several years so I was able to follow Linda's suggestion and not overdo it. I loved subtlety myself; I never was keen on the exaggerated 'drag queen' look. When 'I emerged as a girl' as Linda mentioned before, from the maid's apartment I was dressed in a simple white blouse black skirt outfit like a slightly old fashioned secretary. I had 2in black pumps on and clear pantyhose. My 36B breast forms and pulled in waist gave me the most desired feminine look. I had a brown page boy wig on and discreet earrings in my pierced ears. Mincing in small steps I crossed the kitchen and arrived in front of the door of the day room. Linda must have heard me coming because she said pleasantly, "Do come in sweetie and let me see how you look." I hesitantly entered and said in my adopted slightly husky feminine voice, "Here I am Linda." She raised her eyes from her book and looked at me with obvious curiosity as I was trying to be as natural as possible, a small silly smile framing my made up face. "You definitely look better than I would expect; I obviously underestimated your experience in transforming yourself. Your make up is very subtle as I asked you, your clothes conservative, in fact you look like a 60s secretary, your hair..." She paused for a moment to think and added, "Your hair is clearly a wig and this is your weak point. Your natural hair is longish and could be set in a more feminine manner, but this is something we can discuss later." "Do you think I could pass as a female on a day to day basis?" I asked quite earnestly thinking that Linda was the first 'real' person to see me fully dressed. I say 'real' because I visited some professional ladies in the past in my feminine persona, ladies who were totally indifferent to my looks, interested only to collect their fees. Linda looked at me more carefully now, she asked me to walk across the room and then she asked me to go and sit opposite her. I tried to sit in a ladylike manner because I knew that all my movements and mannerisms were closely monitored. She clearly was enjoying herself when she opened her mouth again. "Can I ask you a favour sweetie, it is nearly lunch time and I am getting a bit peckish and I would love a drink. You will find in the fridge an opened chablis bottle, could you get me a glass and of course have one yourself if you feel like, then we can continue our chat." "Yes, Linda," I said, "that is a great idea, I would love a glass of wine myself, I'll get it immediately." I came back carrying a tray with two glasses. As I offered her a glass she said casually, "I like the fact that you brought the wine in a tray, I can see that you know how to serve, your hotel training is clearly there for you." After a few sips she said to me, "Please try not to interrupt me until I finish what I have to say to you unless of course I ask you a direct question. You don't mind that, do you sweetie?" "Of course not Linda, I am dying to hear what you have to say," I answered quickly thinking at the same time that she didn't use my real name ever since we entered this house; I was constantly a 'sweetie' for her. "Yes, you can pass as a female and quite easily too, after a few minor alterations of your figure." She could see that I was dying to ask what sort of alterations she meant and added, "Don't worry nothing permanent, mainly fix your natural hair properly with some possible hair extensions, make your breast forms more permanent, make sure that your body is completely free of hair, and probably treat your not very strong beard with laser beams at a later point; but of course nothing will happen unless I have your full consent." She had a sip of her wine and continued having my full attention of course. "I offer you a full time live in position in this house as my 'general factotum' as I mentioned to you before. You will work six days a week Monday to Saturday with the exception of a free afternoon in the middle of the week, either Wednesday or Thursday depending on my social obligations. You will be off duty on Sunday and back to working mode early on Monday morning. I will provide a written list of your duties but I can outline here the basics. You will have to do maid's and secretary's duties in this house. You will clean, do the laundry and the ironing, cook and make sure that everything runs smoothly. You will also keep the bills and be responsible for whatever maintenance is needed in order to notify the right people. And of course you will do all the house shopping." She did notice the concern in my eyes because she immediately added, "Don't worry sweetie, it is much simpler than it sounds. Once you get the knack of it all it will be like a piece of cake for you. You don't have to deal with a big family and noisy children just me and my occasional guests of course." She stopped and asked me, "Any questions so far?" I grabbed the opportunity she gave me to ask the most important question I had so far, "Am I expected to live and work as a female if I am employed by you?" "I was going to come to that but since you asked the answer is a clear yes. I want to employ you in your female persona and that will certainly require some major adjustments in your life." She stropped for another wine sip and continued with a smile, "And I have the right name for you, do you want to hear it sweetie?" She was playing with me like cat and mouse. She obviously could sense my inner excitement and turmoil and she was enjoying a mild teasing. "Yes Linda, I would love to hear it," I said using again my husky feminine voice. The prospect of acquiring a new female name made my stomach flutter. "You are going to be Jenny if you become my employee. I have a soft point for names starting with J, my two cats Jasper and Jay and my previous maid Jasmine are all J creatures. So do you want to be my new J creature and become Jenny?" I was a creature for her now! And I loved the name Jenny; it was so plain and yet so clearly female. In fact it was a working woman's name and that excited me even more. I simply said, "I love the name Linda, it is so perfect for the position you are offering me." "Jenny it is then!" she said in a triumphal voice and continued, "But let me finish my job offer to you and then you can ask more questions." Another sip for both of us and she spoke again in a less teasing and more business like tone of voice, "You will be very well paid if you become my Jenny, considerably above the wages for domestics and secretaries but there are certain other conditions. You will have to sign a proper three year contract and you have to change your name officially to Jenny. I want to do everything by the book, my family is well connected and quite respected in this neck of the woods and I wouldn't jeopardise the family name for a matter as little as that, my father would be able to dishonour me." She saw concern again in my eyes and added, "Don't worry about the formalities, our legal department will sort out everything for you, my good friend and company lawyer Jennifer Kent will organize everything." Another name starting with J, I thought, is she also one of Linda's J creatures as well? I hesitantly said, "Can I ask another question please?" She made a nod with her head and I said, "Aren't you concerned Linda that you are going to employ a cross dressed person? Your family and all? I am not that confident that I could fool everybody, not in the beginning anyway." "Another good point Jenny, I like the fact that you are a bit like me and you go instantly to the core of the problem. Of course I know that you will need some assistance and some coaching in the beginning plus several visits to a beauty parlour to make you presentable to people like my parents and other important guests. So in the beginning you will meet only a few of my trusted friends; Jennifer the lawyer is one of them, friends they will be aware of your true identity and you are going to practice interacting with them. Also you will gradually start going out for errands and the major shopping as Jenny, after your paper work is done and you acquire more confidence." She looked at me more shrewdly now. "The question is Jenny..." she said and added laughingly, "I am glad that I don't call you sweetie any more." "The question is Jenny," she repeated, "Are you willing to go through all that? Are you prepared to assume a female role and job responsibilities for the next three years? Are you strong enough as a character to say goodbye to close friends and presumably relatives and start a new phase in your life, a working woman's life?" I had to answer that, not so much for Linda's sake but for me. Was I really prepared for all that? I was inundated with all kinds of thoughts and feelings. The dead end in my career, the persistent unemployment with no immediate prospects for a change and running out of funds very shortly, those were the practical matters that should make me consider seriously Linda's proposition. On the other hand I was much shaken emotionally. I have been a closet cross dresser all my life, I had my submissive inclinations all my life, I was dreaming to find a woman like Linda all my life. And all of sudden all those dreams could materialise with a simple yes to Linda's proposition. I could live and work as a female for the foreseeable future, a three years contract Linda mentioned. Probably that would be good for me for another reason. I could decide on my own on real life conditions if I would be able to play that role, if I would be able to stay excited and willing to be someone's 'general factotum' in other words someone's servant. Linda saw me thinking and said, "I can understand your hesitation Jenny dear, it's a major step for you, I can even feel for you, you must have conflicting feelings. So don't answer me until you are ready. In the mean time could you please refill my glass and you certainly need another drink yourself." "Of course Linda, right away," I said gratefully. I picked the tray and the two glasses and headed for the kitchen; this small break gave me more time to think. In the kitchen I took my decision, I was going to accept the job whatever the consequences; the alternative was too bleak even to think about it. As I walked back carrying the tray with the drinks I realized that I was mincing more than usually and when I spoke my voice was huskier than usually, "I made my decision Linda, I accept your job offer, consider me as your employee from that moment on." "Let's drink to that Jenny!" Linda said very joyfully. "Somehow I am convinced that you are not going to regret your decision, and somehow I feel that you are going to adapt to your new role like a duck to water I think I could bet safely on that!" I knew she was right. I felt somehow liberated; I didn't have to pretend anymore. We clinked glasses and she gave me a hug saying, 'Welcome to the Burton family sweetie." At that moment I realized who she was. Gosh, she was part of the most prominent family in town, the Burton family; bankers, entrepreneurs, major shareholders, investors and so on... I was just employed as a cross dressed 'general factotum' by the most eligible lady bachelor in town the daughter of Eric and Lucinda Burton. I looked at her with new admiration and owe saying, "My God I just realized that I am employed by a very important person, I never suspected that you are a member of THE Burton family." "I am indeed and probably you should start being more formal with me," she said half jokingly but there was an element of truth in it. And she continued, "Now to practical matters Jenny; I am starving all of a sudden after all that wine and I am about to check your cooking abilities in impromptu conditions. Would you be able to put up something quick, say within twenty minutes, for us to eat? Consider it as a first test." She concluded in the same half joking mode. "Of course Linda," I answered with respect in my voice this time, "I am certain I can organise something quick, I better go back to the kitchen." "Make sure you find an apron to wear, I would hate to see this pretty white blouse of yours soiled with food." "Yes Miss!" I said nearly automatically this time. She didn't seem to notice my change of tone to a more formal one, probably it was automatic for her to accept it; after all I was her employee from now on and a rather lowly one for that matter, a mere 'general factotum'. God, I couldn't stop thinking of that word. To be continued