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The Hazards Of Helen free porn video
THE HAZARDS OF HELEN
© 2010 by Anthony Durrant
Leaning against the wall of an old house in the Dell, an area of the
bowery, a place in the city, the man known as the Farmer stood and
watched the people go by as he sang:
"The Farmer's in the Dell,
The Farmer's in the Dell,
Heigh-ho the derry-oh,
The Farmer's in the Dell.
"The rat ate the cheese,
The rat ate the cheese,
Heigh-ho the derry-oh,
The rat ate the cheese.
"The cat ate the rat,
The cat ate the rat,
Heigh-ho the derry-oh,
The cat ate the rat!"
As the Farmer sang his little ditty, he stumbled away from the house
toward the little box in which he was living. There, he sat down and
smiled - just as two police officers came up and grabbed him, handcuffing
his hands behind his back. After they read him his rights, one of the
officers told the Farmer:
"So you're the Phantom of the Bowery, eh, Farmer? Well, we've been on
your trail for weeks, and now we've finally collared you: you're under
arrest for robbing the A.T.M. down the bock!"
The two officers then dragged the Farmer into a paddy wagon, closed and
locked the doors, and then drove off with him in the back seat.
***
The officers took the Farmer directly to the Institute of Artificial
Intelligence, where they ushered him into the building and strapped him
to a trolley, then returned to the paddy wagon.
"Good to see you!" said the attendant as he wheeled the Farmer into the
laboratory where Dr. Simister was preparing for the final phase of his
project, Project Helen. The attendant wheeled the Farmer up to the
apparatus to which Helen was connected, and Dr. Simister said:
"Well, well, well! If it isn't Leonid Kinski, a.k.a. the Farmer, a.k.a.
the Phantom of the Bowery! We've been waiting a long time for this!"
He injected Kinski with a combined anaesthetic and body immobilizer,
which put the unfortunate fellow out like a light, then used the
apparatus to scan him.
"The scan detects both drugs and drink in his system!" Simister said.
"Yet, despite this, his alpha waves are amazingly strong, making him a
prime candidate for downloading."
"But, he's a man!" the attendant said as he and the doctor muscled
Kominski onto a bed next to the apparatus in which Helen lay. As soon as
he was on the bed, a specially devised collar attached to it clamped down
on his forehead and skull, linking his brain to Helen's responsometer.
"Are you sure this is even humane Dr. Simister?" the attendant asked the
doctor.
"Very sure!" Dr. Simister replied. "His mind will be gently extracted
from his human body, digitized, and downloaded into Helen."
At that moment, a computer voice said:
"Brain/responsometer link established. I am now beginning the download
procedure."
Kominski screamed and arched his back as the Institute's A.I. drew his
essence out of his body and into the arm that linked the apparatus to
Kominski and Helen. This complex gadget converted his alpha waves into
digital impulses that were downloaded into Helen's responsometer. As it
did, the monitor screens showed each segment of her complex responsometer
coming online, the converted alpha waves dovetailing neatly with Helen's
subliminal programming and merging with it.
"Why use a human in the first place?" the attendant asked Dr. Simister,
who replied:
"Because her responsometer was so complex no A.I. could be programmed
into her. As for Mr. Kominski, I'm afraid he's died of a stroke induced
by the transfer process and a lifetime of drug abuse and drinking
alcohol."
He and the attendant then wheeled Kominski's body over to the building's
incinerator hatch and dropped the body into it, then shut the hatch.
They then watched the monitor screens as they showed Helen's brainwaves
rising to human levels.
***
I was dreaming I was with my grandmother in Heaven, and the two of us
were playing together, as we'd done when I was a child, tossing a ball to
each other in a grassy green field.
"Leonid," she said suddenly, "you're not due to die yet, and perhaps not
ever. Your mind is being downloaded even as we speak into an
experimental cyborg called Helen Hacker. From here on in, you will BE
Helen Hacker, Leonid, and you'll be living a brand new life in a brand
new body."
And then she pushed me over the edge of the cloud we were standing on
into the deep abyss below. I screamed and reached out for my grandmother
as I fell into the blackness below. A surge of pain went through me and
I screamed as loudly as I could, then opened my eyes, sat up and gasped
for breath. Now fully awake, I found myself lying in a bed with pink
sheets over me. When I inspected myself, I saw that my skin was bronze-
coloured, as if I was a Roman statue, and my body was slim and strong-
looking.
Long dark hair fell over my face and I swept it away with my hand. I
could hear singing near me, and I turned on the bed to see a young man
sweeping the floor with a special mop. He was singing a song as he
worked:
"Robin in the rain, what a happy fellow,
Robin in the rain, mind your socks of yellow!
Walking through the water on your three-toed feet,
Digging for your supper with your long strong beak-"
I hadn't heard that song for many years, so I was delighted and sang:
"Robin in the rain, you don't mind the weather-
Showers always make you gay,
But the worms are wishing you would stay at home.
Robin on a rainy day, don't get your feet wet!
"Robin in the rain, you don't mind the weather-
Showers always make you gay.
But the worms are wishing you would stay at home.
Robin on a rainy day, and keep your hands clean!
Robin . . . on a rainy . . . DAY!"
"You're awake!" he cried. "I thought you were still asleep, Ms.
Hacker!"
Seeing the words HELEN HACKER floating before my eyes, I nodded.
"It took the combined projects of two merged companies to create you, Ms.
Hacker!" the man said. "My name's Robin Tasker, and my father's the
merged company's C.E.O. I'm working my way up through the ranks in the
same way he did!"
Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I tried to get up but stumbled
and fell instead, dropping to my knees on the tile floor. As I tried
rising to one knee, I saw that Robin was by my side. He helped me to my
feet and brought me back to the bed, and I climbed back into it. Robin
said:
"Your recovery and adjustment to your new cyborg form will take a few
days, Ms. Hacker, so relax and enjoy yourself while you can!"
"Thank you," I said, my eyes already closing, "I think that I will do
just that!"
And then I was asleep again.
***
Over the next few weeks, the Institute's best people put me through an
intensive mental and physical therapy regimen to get me back to my full
physical strength. They had me lifting weights, sprinting, and working
out on a trapeze. For the mental part of the therapy, they had me doing
puzzles, my favourite being cryptograms, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
"You're doing very well, Ms. Hacker!" Robin said as he watched me twirl
on the rings with one hand and enjoying every minute of it. "Your
progress is impeccable, in fact. We're all impressed."
"Oh, don't be so formal, Robin!" I retorted. "And call me Helen, not
'Ms. Hacker.' I've enjoyed my time here at the Institute as well.
Where's Dr. Simister? I'd like to thank him for giving me my new life
and cyborg body."
At that moment, the walls of the therapy room slid upward, revealing Dr.
Simister and the other scientists overseeing my recovery. He said:
" 'A girl fell down in school today,' said Mary Lou. 'And all the girls
laughed but me.'
" 'Why didn't you laugh?' asked Mama Dear.
" 'I didn't laugh,' said Mary Lou, 'because I was the girl that fell.'"
"What d'you mean?" I asked.
"I mean," Simister said, "that I was the one who designed and built your
responsometer, Ms. Hacker, and therefore, I am the one who knows how to
disrupt it if you try to escape from the premises. If you truly value
your life, you must remain right here."
"I hear and obey, then, sir!" I said, with a tinge of the anger I felt
in my voice, and the doctor and his cronies then left the room and closed
the door to the seating area behind them. Robin and I returned to my
quarters in the Herbert W. Rain Wing of the Institute, where we relaxed
on my bed.
"If he knew that my one goal now is to escape from this facility and get
away from this city, Dr. Simister would confine me here in this room for
months, Robin!" I said.
"But, how'll we get away without alerting him to our absence?" Robin
asked.
Looking around, I noticed a grate leading to a ventilation shaft, and
tore it off its mountings by pulling on it with my left arm; then I
gestured for Robin to follow me as I crept into the shaft. Once we were
both in the shaft, we crawled eastward through it to the other end, where
it ended in a vent at the back of the Institute building. I kicked it
out and the two of us scrambled through the open door to safety. We then
lost ourselves among the crowds of people in the Bowery.
***
Now that we were in the Bowery, the two of us hurried to a small house
near the pier, where the fisherwoman, Molly Malone, lived with her son.
When she opened the door, she said:
"Two ducks before two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, two ducks
behind two ducks."
"The answer to that old chestnut," I said, "is four: &&&&. And you must
be a very ducky woman to think I'd fall for it."
"Come in, then!" she said as she opened the door, and soon after we were
fed newly-cooked cockles and mussels by her sun Morris.
"We're on the run from the Institute of Artificial Intelligence!" I
explained. "That means we'll need some sort of disguise to keep us safe
from their robot finder, the Clutching Hand."
"Why not switch clothes with us?" Morris asked, and his mother looked
amazed and said:
"Now, why didn't I think of that, lad?"
"That's just what we'll do!" I cried joyfully.
"It should confuse the Clutching Hand for long enough for us to escape
the city!" Robin added, delighted by Morris's audacity.
After the four of us had finished our meal, Molly and I switched clothes,
as did Morris and Robin. When I put on Molly's sun hat, the disguise was
complete, and she gave us her wheelbarrow, which was full of cockles and
mussels, and led us out the door to the street again.
"We'll wait here for the Clutching Hand and his emissaries!" she told
us. "Now, hurry up and head for the Bowery's fight area. There, you'll
be able to earn the money you'll need to pay for your tickets to the
outside."
I nodded, and then the two of us walked down the streets toward that
area, singing at the top of our lungs as we did so:
"In New York's fair city,
Where the girls are so pretty,
Was where I laid eyes
On sweet Molly Malone
As she pushed her wheelbarrow
Through the streets broad and narrow
Crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive-oh!'
Alive, alive, oh! Alive, alive, oh!
Crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive-oh!'"
As we sang, people bought some of the cockles and mussels, and the two of
us eagerly took the money as we sang:
"She was a fishmonger,
And sure, 'twas no wonder,
For such were her mother
And father before
As they rolled their wheelbarrow
Through the streets broad and narrow
Crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive-oh!'
Alive, alive, oh! Alive, alive, oh!
Crying 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive-oh!'"
Eventually, we came to the end of the street, where we turned left to get
to the old dock on which the fight area was located. All the way
through, we rolled the wheelbarrow and sang:
"She helped us to escape
And we owe her a favour
For she helped us break free
From the cruel Clutching Hand!
Now we pull her wheelbarrow
Through the streets broad and narrow
Crying, 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive-oh!'
Alive, alive, oh! Alive, alive, oh!
Crying, 'Cockles and mussels, alive, alive-oh!'"
As we finished our little song, we handed the wheelbarrow to the food
collector at the fight area, and he let us onto the premises.
***
As soon as we had entered the fight area, Robin went to a recruiter and
signed up for a fight against one of the local heroes. As for me, I was
about to head on into the crowd when a female recruiter spotted me and
said:
"Hey, you! We have a Companion-class cyborg who is itching for a new
fight, and her slate's empty. Why don't you sign up to fight her, if
you've nothing better to do?"
"Very well!" I said. "I think I shall!"
And so I signed my name to her roster.
"She's Pretty Boy's girl!" the recruiter told me. "You'll find her in
the tent with the cherub's face painted on it. She's waiting for you
there."
"Thanks," I said, "I think!"
I made my way through the tents in the fight area until I found the one
with the cherub's face on it. Near the entrance was a tall man in a blue
suit with a brown shirt and a red tie. His face was that of a cherub,
and he had blue eyes with no eyelashes and short curly blonde hair; he
wore no mustache or beard.
"You must be Pretty Boy!" I said.
"Right-a-rooney, lady!" he cried. "And you must be my Companion's next
opponent!"
"I am indeed, sir!" I said as I took off the ridiculous sun hat and
walked into that tent, where I found my opponent awaiting me.
"So, you're another cyborg!" she cried. "Before we begin the fight,
Sister, I should tell you that we Companions are the best cyborgs on the
market because our minds and bodies are based on those of the real
Companion Cartwright!"
She then threw off her bathrobe to reveal a powerfully muscled body that
couldn't have been that of a Companion Class cyborg. Somehow or other,
she'd inherited the body of a cyborg of another type entirely after
losing her own.
"Let's begin!" she cried, and then she jumped on me, knocking me to the
ground before I could make a move of my own.
I panicked, terrified of being injured in a fight, and slammed my elbow
into her chin, then kneed her in the stomach and caused her to double
over. As I was rising to my feet, she got her foot behind my leg and
knocked me over again. As I backed away from her, I ran into Pretty Boy,
who closed and sealed the tent flap before seating himself in front of
me. Rising to her feet, the Companion ran toward me and leaped on me,
pinning my arms to the ground and waving her long blonde hair in my face,
causing me to actually turn my head away from her. She then shouted to
someone at the back of the tent:
"Your trap worked, Hand! We've got her!"
At once, what I had thought to be a pile of rags rose to its feet and
came toward me.
"Who are you?" I cried, and the figure said:
"I am the Clutching Hand, Helen Hunter, and once Dr. Simister had tipped
me the wink,
I waited for you to go past Molly Malone's home like all the other
cyborgs I've caught did, and fall right into my little trap here at the
fight area. I intend, now, to return you to the Institute of Artificial
Intelligence, for which I will receive money that I will share with
Pretty Boy and his Companion with the muscles there."
Suddenly, Robin walked into the tent. When he saw that I was in danger,
he pulled the Companion off of me, and the two of us fought off Pretty
Boy and the Hand together. After the three villains had fled, he and I
rested in the tent. Robin told me:
"Helen, I won the fight at the other tent, so when the lady recruiter
told me where to find you, I came straight up here."
After resting for awhile, the two of us left the tent and, as we were
passing a tent with the image of a cat's face on it, a furry white arm
pulled Robin in. When I followed him, I found him talking to a huge
female cat creature who was stroking and caressing his face and smiling
at him very happily. It asked:
"Why is it you never come to visit your old grandmother in the Bowery,
Robin?"
"I didn't even know you were still alive!" he retorted. "Dad told me
you had died years ago, yet now I've found you here, alive and well!"
"He would, wouldn't he?" the creature replied. "No, I've been
protecting the city as I did when you were small, as the formula that
transformed me into this keeps me fit and healthy."
"Who, or what, are you?" I asked.
"I am Louise Oakley, but these days I go by the name Graymalkin!" it -
no, she - told me, and I could see her very human love for Robin in her
golden eyes. I asked her:
"Would you escape the city with us?"
"Do you really want me with you?" she asked.
"I'm sure Robin would like nothing better!" I said.
"Then, that's just what I'll do!" she said.
After she folded her tent, the three of us walked toward the Mulberry
Bush, a small restaurant on the edge of the fight area. Graymalkin put
her hands on our shoulders and said:
"I can hear Pretty Boy following us!"
And, indeed, Pretty Boy soon appeared behind us. He pulled a knife and
chased after the three of us. Whenever we tried to get him, Pretty Boy
ducked around the corner of the Mulberry Bush, all the while singing this
song:
"Round and round the Mulberry Bush
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it all in fun,
POP! Goes the weasel!
"Up and down the old main street,
In and out the Eagle,
That's the way the money goes:
POP! Goes the weasel!"
Pretty Boy chased the three of us round the Mulberry Bush while singing
that song at least three times. On the last turn, however, we found a
man lying on the ground. I bent down on one knee and tried to help him
up, but Graymalkin pushed me away and said:
"I believe I can effect a miraculous recovery."
Grabbing the man by his short collar, she lifted him onto his feet with
one hand, and he panicked and fled into the darkness.
"That was Weasel John, the Bowery's best accident faker!" she said.
"The Clutching Hand must have stationed him here to slow us down."
"And, in doing so, he allowed the three of you to fall back into my
clutches!" the man himself said as he and Pretty Boy stepped out of the
shadows and took Robin and I captive, forcing Graymalkin to surrender to
him at last.
Once he had us in his clutches, the Clutching Hand took us to the front
door of the Mulberry Bush, and Pretty Boy opened it to let us go in.
After we'd entered, the two men took us to the bar, where we again
encountered the Companion I'd battled sometime earlier. She smiled at
Graymalkin in a sinister manner before turning to me and saying:
"For trying to leave the city without the proper tickets, the Clutching
Hand has ordered you to fight me to the death, Ms. Hacker!"
I looked at Robin, then nodded and said:
"I'd rather be dead than trapped in this dung heap of a district,
Companion!"
"Let's begin, then!" she cried as she launched herself at me and knocked
me down, pulling my arm behind my back with one hand while holding the
other one on the floor and squeezing my stomach with her legs, then
crying:
"So, you're terrified of being injured in battle, eh? Well, once I've
taken a round out of you, I'll kill your Robin as well!"
A wave of terror surged through me.
"NO!" I cried, slamming my head into hers and then throwing her over my
shoulder. "NOT ROBIN! DON'T KILL ROBIN!"
And then I jumped her before she could get up again. She shoved me off
with her powerful legs and leaped to her feet as Pretty Boy cackled madly
and sang as loudly as he could:
"Here we go Grueby-loo,
Here we go Grueby-light,
Here we go Grueby-loo,
All on a Saturday Night!
"You put your two hands in,
Then take your two hands out,
Then put your two hands in,
And shake them all about!"
"IXNAY!" I shouted, then slammed my fist into her cheek, sending her a
few steps back, before throwing an uppercut that caused her to sway back
and forth.
"So, that's it!" I cried. "You're primarily a wrestler, aren't you,
Companion? No wonder you couldn't dodge my punches! That means I have
quite an advantage over you, girl!"
And so I peppered her with punches until, with one last mighty blow, I
knocked her block off, causing the headless body to fall to the ground.
Grabbing her head, I put it back on its shoulders and used Pretty Boy's
tool kit to repair her damaged wires; I'd seen it lying on the floor
nearby. When the Companion opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was
me. As I helped her up, she said:
"You saved my life? I tried to kill you, and yet you - you saved my
life!"
"All life is sacred, Companion!" I replied. "Even the life of a cyborg
like you!"
"She's right, you know!" Graymalkin said. "I have never taken a life
myself at any time, past, present, or future, Companion."
"The only thing Pretty Boy's ever given you is circuit damage!" I said.
"Why won't you wise up and come over to the good guy side?"
"Don't listen to them, Companion!" Pretty Boy shouted. "They're trying
to call your bluff!"
"No," the Companion said, "YOU are, Pretty Boy. They've shown compassion
by repairing me."
And then she jumped him. He pulled a gun, but she crushed his hand
before he could fire directly at her. Meanwhile, I attacked the
Clutching Hand, grabbing him by the fists to take advantage of his shock
and surprise. Then I slammed him against the wall and removed his cap
and hood. Underneath them were the familiar features of - Dr. Simister!
When I saw it, I gasped in horror as Robin said:
"So, this is what Simister's been up to!"
"No," Graymalkin said as she felt his face, "this is latex, not human
skin, and that means the Clutching Hand is trying to trick us again."
She pulled off Dr. Simister's face to reveal that of a man who looked
very much like Robin himself. I turned to him and said:
"Robin, just who is this man?"
"It's my father, Robert Demetyr Tasker!" he cried. "Dad, why'd you
become the Clutching Hand?"
"To protect the investment of Dr. Beckley and myself in one merged
corporation!" he replied. "I was forced to sanction and perform the
essence transfer procedure because the company is still working on a more
complex A.I. for the Helens, so you're the only one with a human
consciousness. You, Helen Hacker, are the prototype Helen, and the
others that follow will be A.I.s!"
"And what of you, Pretty Boy?" Robin asked.
"Oh, I partnered up with him to find you when the police couldn't, eh,
Mr. Tasker?" he replied. "I did find you, and I was the one who told the
cops where to locate you!"
"Just who are you, Pretty Boy?" Robin asked.
"Let's find out, shall we?" I said as I grabbed Pretty Boy's face and
pulled it off along with his hair, revealing his true horrible features
underneath: his face was utterly hairless, and burned in such a way as
to give him a wild-eyed appearance, and his remaining hair was brown and
covered his scarred head like a lion's mane, except for over his forehead
where it had been burned off. He laughed and said:
"Now that you know Pretty Boy's secret, the penalty is death!"
"Hardly!" I cried as Graymalkin grabbed him and bent thick wire around
him. "And now, it's off to the nearest police station for you two!"
***
When we dropped our prisoners off at the station closest to the Bowery
Gate, and they'd been read their rights and arrested, the sergeant in
charge of the desk told me:
"These two have been wanted for a long time, Pretty Boy especially. His
real name's Karlemagn Petroushka, and he's the twin of Konstantin
Petroushka, the man whose brain is now in the skull of Golem, the
ultimate supercomputer!"
"For God's sake, I hope they remain in jail for the longest possible
time!" I said.
"Is there a reward out on these two?" Robin asked, and the sergeant
said:
"You better believe there is! And, it'll get you out of the Bowery
forever!"
"HOORAY!!!" the three of us cried.
***
As it turned out, the sergeant was correct: the reward was enough to buy
the three of us the tickets we needed to leave the city. We presented
them to a gate guard, and he tore off their perforated ends and handed
them back, then opened the gates. We hurried through just before he
closed them again, and as the three of us walked down the path leading
out of the city, Graymalkin smelled something. Running off into one of
the fields, she pounced on it and lifted it up to reveal a dead bird,
which she feasted on as the three of us headed for the bridge up ahead.
As we crossed the bridge, we saw the fish in the water and the ducks on
it, and sang:
"All the fish are swimming in the water,
Swimming in the water, swimming in the water,
All the fish are swimming in the water,
Fol-de-rol-de-ray!
"All the ducks are swimming on the surface,
Swimming on the surface, swimming on the surface,
All the ducks are swimming on the surface,
Fol-de-rol-de-ray!
"You and me, we're going to the Outlands.
Going to the Outlands, going to the Outlands.
You and me, we're going to the Outlands,
Fol-de-rol-de-ray!"
Soon we reached the end of the path and entered the Outlands, although to
enter them I had to bash down the old gate there with my fists. Once we
were in the Outlands, the three of us were so happy that we sang:
"The sun is shining in a tree,
And everything's so bright, I see.
We've stumbled on a land of gold,
Just the spot for home, I'm told.
"Ta-ra-ra?BOOM-de-ray,
Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ray,
Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ray!
"This is where we'll make our home,
Nevermore at last to roam.
We'll live near that old beehive,
And perchance we'll start to jive!
"Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ray,
Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ray,
Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ray,
Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-de-ray!"
Soon, the three of us came to a clearing.
"What a beautiful spot!" I cried.
"It is, yeah!" said Robin. "And this is the spot where I want to settle
down and to build a home we can live in for the rest of our lives!"
THE END
Myra
- 18.12.2021
- 9
- 0
- Category:
- Humor
