The United Kingdom of Zoo A fake BBC documentary series s4e16 Olivia
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We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a sprawling red-brick and glass, modern further education complex. The three-story buildings are topped (and sometimes sided) with sloping black roofs and surrounded by flat green lawns.
A few young geeky students move around from one building to another.
In the final shot, infront of a green sign (on the wall of one of the buildings) that reads “Mersey University Centre Technology – St Helens Campus” – and then, stepping infront of the sign, looking very much out of place on a university campus – our bolt-on boobed, brunette haired, beautifully slutty, dirty-dimpled-dogslut ... Our former pornstar, Renae ... And beside her, sitting, his hind legs slightly spread to show off his heavy sheath, a large blue-grey Weimaraner dog.
Renae introduces the show in her squeaky, high-pitched, girly northern tones, “Hello ... Welcome to ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ ... I’m your host, Renae Russell, and this is my boy Logan...” She looks down at him, then half-laughs, “Show a little modesty boy ... Put it away!” and giving his leash a little tug to bring him to attention, standing up, his tail wagging slowly as if he knows he’s just been caught doing something cheeky.
Renae continues, “This week we’re back up in my part of the world, in St Helens in Lancashire ... At a seat of scientific knowledge – to see if we can educate a couple of the professors in the joys of inter-species copulation!”
We cut to a shot of a man and woman, standing side-by-side, arms interlocked. Both of them are attractive without being models. Approaching middle-age, slim, healthy looking. They introduce themselves direct to camera.
The woman is blonde, pretty and confident. She’s got a Rachel Riley vibe to her – she knows she’s hot, but doesn’t particularly care. When she smiles her whole face glows. Her accent is local, but clearly very well educated.
“Hello, I’m Professor Angelica Wrightson. I’m 44 years old, and I lecture in chemical engineering here at Mersey University.”
She turns her head to the side to look at her man as he begins his introduction, his accent politely Scottish. “And I’m Professor James Wrightson. I’m a research fellow, working in the field of synthetic molecules. Thrill a minute!” He chuckles, clearly aware of how boring his specialist field sounds.
He continues, “We’ve been married for six years, and we try to compensate for our ‘boring’ jobs, with exciting ‘private’ activities...”
Angelica takes over, “My hubby loves to do research, and his favourite research tool is his camera ... He’s been studying ‘me’ for the last few years, making videos of me having sex with other women, because he loves to see what makes me cum. The only problem is...” She looks sideways at him, then continues, “As much fun as girls can be – I just love the cock ... James hates the idea of me having sex with another man – he’s a little insecure ... And I recently decided that I’d rather have sex with an animal, than with another woman.”
James interrupts, “As Angelica says, I love to research her pleasure ... So the idea of her having sex with an animal was very interesting to me. Aside from the obvious thought, of this beautiful woman on her hands and knees with a bloody great dog pounding into her – I’m very curious to see if she finds it more fun than being with a woman, or being with me...”
We cut to a shot of Renae standing with the married couple, conducting her interview as the occasional student walks by. People are so used to seeing cameras these days that no-one seems to hang around long enough to hear what’s being discussed.
“It’s always a pleasure to introduce another new lady into the world of bestiality ... Especially one as pretty as yourself ... But it’s a little disappointing to hear that you don’t like pussy!” She mocks a frown.
Angelica smiles. “It’s not that I don’t like it ... I’m just a little bored of it.”
“So how many ladies has he filmed you fucking?” Checks Renae.
Angelica and her husband exchange looks, perhaps trying to decide if they should tell the truth... “Erm ... Over a hundred...”
“One hundred and thirty two ... That I know of ... I’ve got videos of her fucking one hundred and thirty two different women.”
Renae gasps, and smiles, “Wow ... I’ve been in porn for almost twenty years, and I don’t think I’ve fucked a hundred and thirty-two different women on camera!”
Angelica shrugs. “He finds them, I fuck them...”
“And where have you found all these ladies for your wife...?” Checks Renae.
James goes through his memory bank, “Some friends, ex-girlfriends of mine, we’ve picked girls up in pubs ... I’ve hired some prostitutes ... Good ones ... And then there’s students ... Quite a few students, actually...”
“So your wife is fucking students from her own university...?” Asks Renae, her smile indicating that the idea turns her on. “I’m guessing your lifestyle isn’t a particularly well-kept secret...”
Both husband and wife laugh, then Angelica takes over. “Oh no ... Our secret came out years ago – but the students are all very grown-up. They understand it’s a lifestyle – it doesn’t affect what I know or how I teach...”
“And the university...?” Checks our host.
Angelica takes a look at her husband, then a breath, “They’ve ignored it, so far ... But ... I suppose this will force their hand a little...”
James “We’re not sure what they will do. Hopefully they’ll be as understanding and grown up as the students.”
We pause for a second as the happy couple look at each other, just a little unsure about the future, but not at all unsure about filming the show.
Then we fade through to another location – indoors, darker, more intimate ... We’re back at the home of the Professors – watching as Angelica strips off her outer clothing, quickly revealing a pretty good body, wrapped in a black semi-transparent bodystocking that helps support her full boobs and conceals the extra couple of kilos she’s carrying in the trunk of her body.
We cut from her stripping, to James casually setting up his digital video camera – it’s not as good as the equipment we’re using, but he’s clearly very proud of it. Today, as a special treat for him – as well as getting to watch his wife fuck our dog, he’s also going to be a member of our production crew, providing us with the JamesCam – his own personal angle on the action.
Behind him, we can see Renae in her tight PVC outfit, crouching down next to Logan and swapping a playful couple of licks – letting him lick her mouth, and licking his in return...
Back with our guest – stripped down now to nothing but her body-stocking, which has a hook fastener under the crotch, a pair of stockings (elasticated at the thighs), and high heel shoes. She looks good. A little time in the gym and she could be spectacularly, but no-one is going to complain about her with the extra few kilos ... Many of our viewers will probably prefer her to the super-fit and/or skinny girls the internet turns into our superstars with their ‘Best 10 UK of Zoo girls’ lists.
“Ready?” She asks her husband.
“I’m ready ... Are you ready?” He confirms.
“I’m ready...” She turns to our cameras, “Are you ready?”
And we cut back to Renae to show just how ready we are ... She is unhooking Logan’s collar, whispering, “Okay boy ... Let’s see what these crazy cunts have in mind...” and giggling as she continues holding his collar. He’s pulling against her grip – he’s definitely ready!
Angelica’s husband directs her to, “Okay ... Assume the position, hands and knees ... Get yourself ready, then we’ll let the dog do whatever he wants, okay?”
She nods – a knowing nod, and sighs, “Okay, whatever you say, Mr Spielberg...” It sounds like the kind of thing she’s said to him a lot during their private filming sessions...
She drops down to the floor, onto her knees, facing toward her husband’s camera – barely breaking eye contact with him, smirking ... Then bends forward onto one hand, arching her back a little, sticking her arse out – blowing him a kiss as she reaches back with her other hand to hook the little French maid’s skirt up over her firm buttocks, presenting her arse crack to the dog (and Renae) behind her.
“Chest down, head up...” Directs James.
Angelica brings her other hand forward, strokes her blonde hair back from her pretty face, then drops her elbow to the floor and shifts her weight from her other hand to that elbow, dropping her chest down toward the carpet. The costume barely hides her tits – but stops them from falling too far forward from her body, making her look a little firmer than she actually is.
Resting her weight on one elbow again, dropping her chest down even lower, letting her tits brush the carpet, sticking her bum up higher - she reaches back with the other hand, and hooks the gusset of her bodystocking out of the cleft of her pussy and backside, stretching it and pulling it to the side of her arse. Pulling on it until the fastener pops and then tucking the rear flap up into the bodystocking, letting the front flap hang down...
She’s still looking up into camera as she does this – and her husband is catching it all – keeping her face in frame, with Renae and her Weimaraner in the background – the dog clearly keen to get at his new bitch.
We cut away from James’s camera to one of ours, getting a better idea of what the dog (and our host) can see ... Angelica’s arse in the air, two neat, fat stubbly slices of pussy meat protruding between her thighs. Arse wiggling a little, neat white thighs with those sexy stocking, spreading down to her knees on the floor, high heels pointing back toward us like weapons design to scare wild animals away ... They won’t work!
“And ... Action!” Calls James ... Renae almost laughs at his idea of directing, but releases the dog on cue, and sits back on her heels as he rushes away from her to explore this new flesh.
The big dog stuffs his snout up against the back of her thighs and starts licking hungrily ... The smell and taste of her pussy driving him wild with desire ... His wide tongue working her those meaty lips whilst his cold nose splits her arse-cheeks wide. The warm, wet tongue – coupled with the hot breath blowing over her gash, forces a long, deeply happy sounding moan from our guest... “OOooohhh GGaawwwdd!”
We cut back into JamesVision – with Angelica looking up into camera, her mouth a little open, smiling as he licks her ... We can see the dog behind her ... And we can see Renae watching from behind him.
Then we’re back to a close-up of the dog licking at her snatch ... Digging in like it’s the first meal he’s had in days. Or the first pussy...
“Ooooh, yes ... Oooooohhhh ... OOooooaaahhhh yyeeeaaahhhh...” Moans our guest, loving that tongue action, arching her back harder, throwing her head back further, mouth opening wider ... Moaning louder...
Back in JamesVision – as he moves in closer on her face, showing that she’s turning red ... Her skin glistening with an instant sheen of sweat as she approaches her first dog-gasm ... Mouth wide, the smile forgotten, the moaning stopped ... No more breathing ... Shaking ... Baring her teeth and then suddenly gasping, “OOhhh” and jerking forward as the dog’s tongue puts her over the top to paradise ... Setting her pussy on fire, sending thrills up her spine, putting her brain into meltdown mode ... Then she drops her head to the floor, out of camera shot.
James desperately directs her to, “Lift your head up ... Look into the camera ... I wanna see your eyes...” – but she’s too far gone in the moment, she’ll look up when she’s ready...
Meanwhile, the dog keeps licking – he doesn’t know she’s cum, all he knows is that her box is getting wetter and wetter, and he loves that taste ... In the wider shot we can see that his heavy sheath is swinging around and the red rocket lipstick dick is already beginning to show as he licks.
Angelica takes it for as long as she can, putting up a valiant effort at taking all he can give her – then bows out ... Falling forward onto her front, pulling her rear-end away from the beast, to the floor, and holding her thighs together to block any further access (until she’s ready).
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We watch a mini-montage of Ye olde English town, with snow falling slowly, and Christmas shoppers hurrying back to their cars with bags full of gifts – and hear traditional Christmas music and sleighbells... Then fade through to our studio, which has been set up to look like a fairly unconvincing Santa’s Grotto – with a couple of comfortable couches arranged infront of a large (fake) fireplace, and an over decorated Christmas tree, which is stacked with presents. On one couch – two sex...
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Series 5, Episode 9: Tara Carver (59) – Edinburgh We open with our standard sequence – a high altitude image of the United Kingdom. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy caricature of our host, Charley, floating infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping toward the ground, heading in...
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We begin this week’s show outside an impressive looking sporting stadium. Grey Concrete, shiny glass and red painted fences. Huge letters along the top of one stand read “PRINCIPALITY STADIUM” Infront of the stadium, a smaller building – two stories and pitched roof, it looks like a cross between a church and train station ... It’s actually the stadium entrance and ticket office for all Welsh Rugby Union matters. It’s not too busy, but there are a few groups of tourists and fans milling...
“The United Kingdom of Zoo – Series 4, Episode 18: Penelope” by Luke Ozvik Series 4, Episode 18: PENELOPE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something familiar... A narrow single car width country road, leading through an area of barren, rolling, grassy hills. Dry stone walls rise about 3 feet on either side of the narrow road. A few cows...
We start this week’s show with a drone shot, flying over endless terraces streets of old homes. Black roofs, barely a solar panel in sight, narrow streets crowded with parked cars... Then we cut to ground level in one of those narrow streets, seeing the cars parked on the pavement on either side, giving just enough room for another car to squeeze through. Terraced two-story houses line either side of the street, behind small walls that protect about a meter of concrete rather than a...
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We fade in on the face of a man – Mr Average, nothing to shout about, nothing to run away from ... He’s filming himself, selfie-style on a smart-phone camera. He looks excited and full of fun. He speaks, almost whispers, direct to the camera, in a mild Scouse accent, “Dear Charley, my name’s Kyle, and I’d like to nominate my partner, Becky, to be on The United Kingdom of Zoo – because she never stops thinking about having sex with dogs ... And to prove it ... Come with me...” He turns the...
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Series 4, Episode 18: RACHAEL We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... A large sewage treatment plant. A mini montage of big circular pools of household waste, being chewed up and cleaned by large rotating mechanical arms ... It looks like it smells terrible. The occasional member of staff, checking equipment, wearing full overalls...
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from Tottenham, London. We fade in on our hostess, Charley. She’s skirting that territory between sexy and strange. With her heavily botoxed face, obviously fake bolt-on boobs, and all those tattoos on her chest, her legs, her arms ... All wrapped up in too-small clothes, showing off as much flesh as possible – mini-skirt, sleeveless low-cut top. She’s strange, but she’s ours... We’re on a wide grey street, black fences on either side, nothing beyond them on one side, a blue storage...
Series 4, Episode 19: Belinda We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... We’re in an unimpressive residential area. Lots of orange/brown two story terraced houses that probably looked very modern and sharp in the early 80s, but now just look boring. An occasional resident walks along the street alone, a couple of cars pass by –...
We fade in on high street – plenty of people around, obviously not during the Coronavirus lockdown. The camera swings around to face a bank, then moves in through the doors – past a member of staff on the front desk who waves at whoever is holding the camera (clearly knowing them) ... The camera moves past a line of customers and up to one of the cash windows ... The clerk behind the window looks up... She’s middle-aged, with a tired, almost ‘loose’ looking face – one of those big mouths...
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We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a perverted version of Supergirl ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea level over the Severn Estuary, between Wales (with a cartoonish huge flag waving on the coast, and the south-west coast of England, with...
Series 5, Episode 10: Alison Latham (47) – Wolverhampton We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then our very cartoonish, top heavy and slutty caricature of Charley appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” Then she waves for us to follow her, turns and skydives toward the country below at...
Footage through a car window, looking out at a twilight sky and a virtually empty motorway ahead ... There’s a car in the distance ahead of us, an occasional car or truck coming the other way, passing us at speed, nothing like you’d expect from a busy rush hour motorway. Then we’re looking down at the driver from a high angle, corner mounted GoPro. The driver, as you’d expect, is the cleavage heavy, filthy looking pornstar-esque Charley Ozvik, the face of the British bestiality business, and...
“The United Kingdom of Zoo” Series 5, Episode 3: Rebecca We open with a shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us like a twisted version of the old “Bewitched’ tv titles ... She smiles at us, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit to sea level over the English Channel, off the south coast, in...
Series 5, Episode 7: Asha Goyal We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our host, Charley, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the UK below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth...
We start this week’s show an establishing shot of a curved row of tightly packed two and three level orange-brick homes along one side of a street, with tree and grass parkland on the other side of the road. We move along, looking up at the impressive looking houses before coming to a halt and looking back down to the street ahead of us ... And see a familiar figure walking toward us... It’s everyone’s favourite odd couple ... Fat Cockney, Dennis Baxter, and sleek Doberman. Dennis is short,...
As part of our commitment to social distancing and the safety of our great nation, this season of the “United Kingdom of Zoo” has been filmed almost entirely with remote cameras. We wish to thank the many lovely ladies who have travelled to see us at our Manchester studios, and hope they all enjoyed fulfilling their fantasies as much as we enjoyed watching... We fade in on a dark set. A spotlight illuminates a single bed – steel-frame, mattress, no bedclothes or pillows. We had a scour a...
Series 3, Episode 10: Stacy On one side of the street a row of pre-War three-story buildings – shopfront downstairs, residential apartment/flats above. On the other side of the street, modern four/five level office buildings, and an old train station with a sign outside that reads, “Welcome to Enfield Chase”. We’re in North London to meet our next subject, and she’s a subject who’s worth meeting. Back to those shopfronts – one in particular – Hair By Hottinger. A modest hair and beauty...
Series 6, Episode 11 – Janine Saunders (18), from Birmingham We fade in on a nice townhouse in a nice neighbourhood – then we cut to inside the house and see our hostess – Charley – sitting at her desk, a large computer editing suite laid out infront of her (big computer, multiple screens, etc.) She appears to be editing an episode of ‘The United Kingdom of Zoo’ as we watch, although there’s nothing sexual on screen at the moment, just a young couple walking a large Alsatian. Charley turns...
We open with our beautiful animated shot of the United Kingdom – from space ... Then our cartoon, top heavy tattooed version of Charley appears, floating in the sky with us, winking and smiling - then waving for us to follow her as she turns and falls toward the country at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit toward the northern part of England, all the way down to a large old city of Sheffield right in the middle, in just a few seconds. Our animated Charley leads us all the...
Series 9, Episode 16: Sienna Triosi (24), from Ipswich We open with a shot of a very boring, street two-up two-down terraced houses. Small paved front yards provide off street parking for a couple of small cars each. And then, walking up the street toward us – the chunky figure of our favourite Cockney wideboy, Dennis, and beside him the sleek, narrow figure of his mean looking, hard-loving, but ultimately very well-behaved Doberman, Casanova. We track backwards as he walks – keeping him...
We fade in in the middle of a quiet street, in the low-rise central area of a small midlands town, with one and two story buildings around us. To one side, a long flat warehouse/factory type unit, stocking and fitting tyres for local drivers, to the other, the town’s train station. Looking like a traditional old station, but rebuilt fairly recently. There’s a small car park between us and the station, and it’s almost full. We watch as a car drives down the road toward us, then turns into the...
Series 4, Episode 13: COLETTE We see that familiar opening sequence – various scenes of UK life, taken from the introductions to previous episodes – a field, a beach, a pub, a motorway ... And then we’re looking at something new... This time our drone camera is floating over a road in a nice suburb on a beautiful sunny day. High stone/brick walls separate nice houses from the pavement. Not too many cars driving by. We’re following a middle-aged woman as she jogs ... Well, it’s more of a...
We’re looking at the beautiful English countryside – fields, stone walls, a few cows grazing ... Then we’re looking at a build-up inner city street – big shop windows and hundreds of people walking by ... Then we’re looking at a big boat crossing over a river – tourists leaning over the sides, taking pictures ... And finally we’re floating over the dull terraced houses and occasional grim tower-block of a northern English city. Over allotments, over a slow-moving river, dropping down toward a...
Series 8, Episode 16: Lily Parkinson (32), from Chester We pan over a couple of large wooden animal shapes – a rhino and a giraffe - open on a large sign that reads “Chester Zoo”, then pan down to the main gates, watching as an excited family enters the facility. A mini-montage shows us some of the animals – large lizards, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, and finally a pair of dingos ... Pausing on the final animals as one suddenly mounts the other and starts fucking her ... We cut to a...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a bright and classy business park – 2 and 3 level buildings with red and white facias, large black windows, small car parks... The car parks are mostly empty as we pan from one building to the next, and we realize that the sun is dropping in the background – it’s an evening shoot, and all of the workers have gone home for the day... We end our pan looking at the one building with cars/vans in the carpark. And then our host steps into...
We start this week’s show with establishing shots of a large allotment on a sunny day – lots of small gardens sectioned off from one another, middle aged men avoiding their families – growing flowers, vegetables, or just hiding in garden sheds – and then we’re looking at a large blue-grey Weimaraner ... Watching for a moment as he sniffs around the corner of a garden shed, then turns, cocks his leg, and pisses on it... And then, stepping out from behind the shed, catching a little of that...
We start this week’s show with an establishing shot of a large, grey, concrete and glass building. Seven storeys high, each as boring and square as the last. If it wasn’t for the row of green trees planted in the wide pavement out front there wouldn’t be any colour here at all. We move toward the building and note that the ground floor windows are mirrored glass – briefly casting a reflection of our camera crew – as we approach a pair of glass double-doors. Stencilled on the glass, a very...
Series 5, Episode 5: Andrea Fereday (29) – Uxbridge We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space... Our cartoonish, top heavy image of Charley appears, floating infront of us, smiling and giggling, then waves for us to follow her ... Turns and dives toward the country at hyper-sonic speed – and we follow - dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading toward the south, toward London, then veering westward as we hurtle toward the ground ... Reaching ground level in...
We open this week’s show, as usual, with an establishing shot of the seafront of a small seaside town. Shops and shoppers, deserted ice-cream stands, a beach filled with yellow sand but virtually no holiday makers, and a very choppy bay stretching out in the distance, with land on one side and a pier on the other. We can hear the unmistakable blustering sound of wind blowing in off the sea ... We’re clearly at a seaside resort in the middle of winter. A big caption appears, filling almost...
We’re cruising along a wide and quiet suburban street. Green lawns stretch back from the pavement to the nice semi-detached homes. There’s a slim woman walking a large dog along the side of the road, and we pan around to look at her as we pass – it’s no-one we know, but we kind of wish we did! Then we’re looking forward again – seeing an intersection infront of us ... Then pulling up, looking out of the side window right at a single story, flat-roofed building. A sign outside reads,...
Series 5, Episode 8: Patricia Grant (41) – Dagenham We open with our familiar high image of the United Kingdom – from high up in orbit ... The whole of the British Isles in one shot. Then our top-heavy cartoon character version of Charley, our host, appears infront of us ... She points down toward the landmass below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then waves and turns and falls toward the country at...
We open with our beautiful animation of the United Kingdom – from space ... Pause for a moment – then fall toward the planet at hyper-sonic speed, dropping from a low-Earth orbit – heading north, toward Scotland ... Reaching ground level in the countryside in seconds. From here we race north, approaching cartoon St Andrew’s flags indicating that we are entering Scotland. High speed overland, fading through to live action as we enter the outer suburbs of a city ... Then through the streets...
Series 5, Episode 6: Maria Sinclair (55) We open with an image of the United Kingdom – from high, high up ... The whole country in one shot. Then a very cartoonish, top heavy pouting caricature of our beloved Charley appears, floating in the sky with us ... She points down toward the country below and says, “Hey look ... It’s the United Kingdom of Zoo ... Let’s look closer and see what we can see...” She giggles, then turns and dives toward the country at super-sonic speed, dropping to sea...
Series 8, Episode 6: Simone Butt (27), from Bristol We open with an establishing shot of an impressive, modern brick and glass façade of a six-story office block on a busy street. Very clean, under a clear blue sky. We can see a figure approaching along the pavement, a slim lady with blonde hair. She’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a tight t-shirt, and her nice round boobs bounce on every step. It’s our Polish princess, Petra – and this week there’s no sign of her lovely Labrador. She...